The Cosmic Trap Of Ascension

Occasionally I read on my feed on WordPress about the subject of ascension, and I have to say that there are a lot of imaginative people trying to figure out this new “ism” that really isn’t an ism….but sure feels like it, works. It’s the new big idea about which much is said and so little is known. 5-D densities?  Motherships hovering in the astral?  You can find it all here under the great tent of ascended masters. It’s the new religion that does not involve much knowledge, experience, or need for questioning. But it sure sounds good. And in our world substance is easily sidelined by the fantastical. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the guy who thinks all this talk about the false self, illusion, & ego death is a bunch of poorly understood sophism that never seems to get high enough to be able to examine itself enough to really see just how flawed it all is. 
The reality is that we can and are anything we want to be, and the illusions are all entirely self created so they seem real to us, but are lesser-made constructions that are easily swept away while the enduring light of the Great Mystery, the Tao, remains. Yes, I see that all that we do here is entirely creative, but some creations simply fit divine alignment better and will be slow to be swept aside. 
I feel anything is possible and higher order consciousness is here watching us, which includes sentient remote viewers from other worlds both physical and non. But this talk of ascension is like pretending we know what’s on the other side of the bridge while we have yet to walk to its other side….the truth is that what lies there is not so much a different world, but a different mind set, which has everything to do with perception. The path to the other side is by way of radical self honesty. It leads to a simpler life and a simpler way to be, even as awareness expands to bring in vast storehouses of knowing and experience. 
It’s as though we are still hung up on the proto-Christian myth of Christ’s Ascension, still thinking that the event was about his lifting up into the clouds where he will return someday. It’s a lovely bit of myth, this story, which took a very real reality and turned it so it became a fairy tale, which most have swallowed wholesale and regurgitate simply because and never dig deeper into their souls to grasp what the Ascension was really all about, which was in truth a lifetime of diligent work done to free himself of the hitches that trouble most people who slumber and are trapped in the only world they know; a sensory realm that speaks only of the impermanence of the world and the suffering it seems to cause.
We are here to know ourselves. This focus shows and offers us a unique opportunity to merge or marry flesh with soul to create a new synthesis of being. When this begins to happen, you can quickly see that body was made for soul and soul in this focus is the body. The body is a perfect vehicle for challenging and then overcoming our shame about ourselves, our bodies, our identities as fleshy creatures, right along with desires, which many believe are the source of suffering.
I will be my typical heyoka self and point out that the hell of one desire contains the opposite which is deliverance through cleansing desire of its shadow so that it rises clean and free, unable to “go” into the suffering that most desire seems to create or cause. Ignoble desire will always crash into hell while it’s opposite will lift you into heaven. And it is here that true ascension works. But it works because we have accepted the muck out of which the great lotus blooms like the yoni that opens to her lover, the penetrating light, twin forces that are never truly seperated in anyone, but appear to divide just so we can learn how to be creators who know how to handle higher order energies more effectively. To do this means you trample all shame. To do this, you must be honest. But out of this noble honesty grows awareness that begibs to transcend or opens us to still larger realms. This is what I mean when I say we are more than just this one flesh. Such an awareness bears knowing of all other selves. The Jenanni is one who knows that they have been ruler, slave, rich, poor, sane, and crazy. This self attains this awareness not by denouncing the flesh but allowing it to serve to no longer be a problem….so it isn’t.
Just don’t think you are here to go beyond body. Here you can go beyond body because it’s part of what you are, but you are many other things too. Once the Great Work is engaged, these worlds open up not as seperate, but concurrent with your own. It is simply another focus. Your light body can show you these worlds through the parts of you that are made to see more than this one focus.
Blood, sweat, shit, and the gold, all exist side by side because it’s there as the raw material of transformation. To know the divine here means you must learn to see how divine your own body is. And this is the heart of tantra. No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about rapid and powerful transformation and transmutation that the creative force in us can bring when it’s not just about sex or a fancy position. 
Tantra is the path of liberation by daring to walk straight into the fires of our own self made hell’s to find heaven on the other side. Tantra is the lightening bolt that can heal or it can be a great stumbling block. You decide which it will be. There are awakened people who are so wrapped up in their own self-made lies and delusions that they can’t see things straight. Don’t worry, I was there too. I don’t know what I’m not aware of, right? So who know for sure until the karma is healed and a newer clearer self slowly emerges removed block by removed block.
So be human, knowing that the secret of your freedom is hidden within it. The body is the pearl that is cast aside because no one knows the value it contains.
Stop with the excuses; if you lose it, your “loss” will be a great teacher if you let it. Be human and let yourself learn the great secret lying at its core. The path to it is not by way of the senses, but rather a balanced beam of Awareness that pulls in sensory and extrasensory experience all at once. 

And where does this all lead? Peace.

Ascension is not understood as long as you treat it like a thing. It isn’t a thing. It is a never ending process that takes lifetimes worth of work to truly refine the self. Buddha’s return over and over in different bodies in order to perfect the self. Even the great teachers return again and again because they too are imperfect. And you know, that’s beautiful.

Have a great weekend, my bearers of light…

Emergence

I can remember a day when I wondered why certain things happened into my life and knew that it had to do with how we create our own reality….but until I entered into a state that resulted in a rapid dismantling of the material within me that was serving to create that reality in the way it once did, it was hard to make a connection between how subconscious material can indeed rule our lives.

For those of you who are on to the Gnostic literature there is a lot in a number of the gospels in the Nag Hammadi Library that speaks directly to this.  In Phillip he says that the “evil” makes us do what we do not want to do and makes it impossible for us to do what we want to do.  This is karmic blocks. He goes on to say that this was what was meant when Jesus spoke of laying the axe at the roots.  To get at a problem, you have to go deep within to the source of the problem or issue.  It has to be pulled out entirely.  This type of work is not always as easy as it seems, and having methods that work both psychologically and physiologically can be very helpful.  But once you begin traveling down this path and are successful at removing a string of issues that had been dug in deep within, it frees up your insides enough that it can lead to cascades of releases.

In the near future I will be setting forth (as promised) some of the most effective means for releasing stored trauma that I have discovered along the way in my practice.  Some of these, it turns out, were in the process of being developed as I made my own discovery.  In perfect timing, they came, and I will be offering them to you for you to try on your own.  While yoga is an old tried and true series of methods and techniques for handling this sort of material, these newer methods get to the core of stored material.  The reason why this is so useful and so revolutionary is that it has the power to completely change your life by releasing you from feelings and thoughts that seem as though you have no control over.  While self control is a very useful way to cope with this stored material, it does not address it completely, while the methods I will be showing you go right to the root of the matter.  When you do this, you begin to enter, bit by bit, into a space of mind that is your authentic self that is more and more free from the more troubling things that may dog you in your emotional and spiritual life.

Life has taken a rather sudden turn over the last couple of months and time that I thought I would have for blogging has been entirely taken up with the new work that I am doing.  If you follow the blog you will know that this summer I began with work that I knew was more than just…well….work. I sensed right away the energetic and emotional landscape of the people I was working with.  I waited, knowing that when you become aware of another person’s inner material, it is only a matter of time before they start speaking about it.  Everyone can sense this level of awareness even if its subconscious, and when we really see people, it opens them and frees them to a large extent.  It can be the first step to real healing if they are ready for the work.  Then, in the midst of all of this, I found that a whole series of issues were being driven up in the events around me that showed me that none of this was an accident.  I was being shown aspects of issues that I had experienced and had been effected by.  But instead of being affected by this, I observed.  I was not surprised to find that my abusive ex would come onto the scene engaging in her usual punishing behavior.  Again, I did not respond.  Then, within 24 hours, I felt a deep thread of pain in my gall bladder meridian (yang energy line) release.  This area I have identified as being the place where there is a lot of the remaining stuck material.  Its been hard to deal with because it is the most current and “active” from my divorce 6 years ago.  After this happened, an entirely different level of feeling took over me.  A clearing took place and I found that people who were in the same alignment to this type of behavior simply fell away from my focus or concern. It was like an energetic deactivation.  Poof.  Just like that.

In the wake of this, cleared as I was, I found that the company I was working with was not able to continue keeping me in work.  I was not terribly worried about this because at a universal level, there was really no way to keep this association up anymore.  Whatever drove this person to contact me out of the many people who could have been working with him, was now simply gone.  I knew a new chapter was about to emerge, I just had no clue what it might involve.  I simply wait for the universe to bring the next thing I have to work with.

And then it came.  I didn’t go looking for it, dream of it, or anything like that.  Someone sought me out, just like before, and some of it just made no sense from a practical stand point.  This kind of thing isn’t always about practical, though.  Its what is needed.  So someone who was looking to buy land saw a property that I had that was vacant and loved it so much that he wanted to move in.  This person has been in a rapid period of change and recently walked away from a relationship that was abusive and chaotic.  He left with 58¢ in his pocket.  But this man was unconcerned about that fact.  He had worked with the likes of Warren Buffet and had done work with political and theatrical luminaries over his life.  It was all a part of his way of looking at the world and interacting with it.  He was at rock bottom and was beginning his next rise in this next chapter of his life.  And he was placed smack dab in the middle of my life.  What are the odds?  Right.  This is how this kind of abundance is created.

A week into working with him, I could feel how his own field of awareness was affecting my own.  I have lived a life from an early age that involved my awareness of consciousness as energy, and in awakening, this is greatly heightened.  I was surprised to find that the resistance I was feeling while working with him was not located in the areas where I thought I would do this type of release work.  I knew instinctively that the root is where abundance springs, but the tension or resistance (always a sign of a block) was coming from my solar plexus.  This was a new sensation and also a new awareness for me.  By focusing on this, I “got” rather quickly that my own will (solar plexus) had been the center that was blocking my own natural sense of abundance.  So all of those people who had tried to paint me as somehow less were in truth painting their own pictures, and I was going right along with it.  When we speak of others, so often, we speak of ourselves when it comes to our difficulties with them.  Its really just about us sometimes.  Luckily I have begun to cease trying to make it a problem that lies with another person and simply look inside of myself to understand why I have the issue with them and then own that.  I am able to turn a problem entirely on its head and make it work as a healing moment for me.  Instead of seeing the world as the problem I see that the problem is just me and is an excellent opportunity to heal the part of me that takes issue with the crazy behavior of another person who I have attracted like magic into my life who is a mirror of this issue I have not myself gotten over yet.

But recently I spoke about working with men in healing work….and along comes this man who was primed to finally change how he had been attracting abusive behavior into his life.  I will begin using a set of the methods I will be developing in my cleansing system with someone who is excited to free himself from the issues that lie deep within himself so he can live an even more abundant and happy life.  All of this honors the “patient” as the healer.  The problem with most energy healing is that until we are thoroughly healed ourselves, we can leave imprints of our own energy on others.  This is so subtle that most healers are not even aware that they are even doing it.  In my case, this is one reason why I have stopped short of doing healing work except with those who I know closely already because of the ressonant effect that this association can have.  Only when I have cleared the decks top to bottom would I ever consider doing energetic healing for this very reason.  The result is that you can wind up attracting people who are where you are in some fashion, and it can serve to reinforce rather than completely free the person being healed if the healing work is being done in a broad enough way.  The healer should always be the most healed person in the group otherwise they run the risk of creating more problems as they are trying their hardest to solve them. You have to do the healing first for yourself.

So I was able to gently release this tension inside of me.  My good friend served as a kind of control, and anytime I would feel a sense of resistance, I just looked at it with compassion and let more healing and surrender into my awareness.  Now what do you think this does?  It begins to release some pretty dug in material.  In an entirely bizarre event I was able to take the deceit visited upon me for years and turn it completely on its head.  And the most amazing thing was I didn’t do anything except hold a certain state or vibration. I had a break-in to my home that resulted in a rather sudden turn of events that had the power to completely change the terms of engagement with someone who had been playing by her own rather warped rules of acceptable behavior.  All I had to do was to simply show up, document it, and leave the rest to the universe.  No more drama, no more trouble, no more feeling bad about myself. When something is about to release that is this deep, some pretty amazing things will often happen that show you that its a world of energetic alignment that is doing the work for you.

Lying deeper within all of this exists a still deeper lesson that takes holding on to and allowing it to grow and set up shop in the mind of the heart.  This took years to get to this place, but when you align to what is fair and true, the universe has a way of supporting that.  As soon as I was able to deal with the issue deeper down, the people who had been involved in all of this drama pretty much screwed the pooch in such a dramatic way that it sounds more like a line out of a movie than anything that might actually happen.  Except that it did.  And me?  I just keep doing my work and let the world be what it is.  There was no sense of justice, no sense of anyone getting theirs.  If anything, a kind of relief mixed with a sadness for them.  But this will itself fall away as well when I allow myself to fully come into my own on this account. Far from karma being a judgement or punishment or someone “getting theirs” I see it as neutral but which is activated by how we feel.  Change that, and you can change the nature of events very quickly.  When someone lives a life so full of dishonesty, it just has a way of coming back on them without a single finger being lifted.  Its their life, not mine.  It becomes their choice even though they might be lost in the miasma of their own emotions that seem to tell them that they are not  the problem.  They just aren’t my problem anymore because I am seeing and feeling it differently now.  How could that be a part of my reality when I am so different?  Now bear in mind, this is not just my wishing to be different, its a sea change.  It is a laying of the axe at the root and taking it out in entire.  Wishful thinking is great for developing vision for the future and as a path for future work, but it does not really address the issues themselves in the present.  All of this is useful, but if you want to be done with something, you have to change your mind completely about how you feel and respond.  I am not here to love someone healthy anymore, or to help them like they are some sort of broken birdie project.  I used to think I owed people something of myself.  What I owe is a debt of gratitude that the world is made the way it is that it allows my innermost self to be reflected in the people and events that are in my life.  Now that I have begun clearing the deeper root issues, things are changing fast now, and I am looking forward to a positive turn of events and in life now.

The world is now opening up for the next chapter, one in which I will be able to allow my native abundance to really flow unhindered.  I know who I am in a way I didn’t allow myself to be.  It is now time to have a lot of fun.

Until next time, my bearers of light….

 

P.

The Third Eye And The Pineal Gland

The third eye and the pineal gland. Nothing excites seekers more than the connection between these two things. Except, there is absolutely no connection between the two whatsoever. I know, huge buzz kill, right? But if you were really interested in spiritual growth, wouldn’t you want to get this stuff right? I know how cool the pineal sounds, but if you pay close attention to every single person talking and writing about this topic, none of them are able to explain any connection between the third eye and the pineal. At all. Instead they point to the pineal as photoreceptive…. because they think this must explain the connection. It doesn’t. It doesn’t because the third eye has always been an entirely nonphysical sense. Remember the term “the minds eye”? This is the eye that the ancients have referenced for millennia. 
Anyone who has had a full-fledged awakening almost always experiences a third eye opening, and this experience is VASTLY different from the one so often described with activations prior to awakening. You might ask why awakening is so important, which is a very good question. The answer is prana or chi/qi. 
The connection between the significant pranic flow during awakening serves to open the third eye in a way most never experience. You need the additional energy to bring on a full opening. The action of prana is very important for full activation of the chakras and the sensory capabilities some of them have. Just like a radio running on low power will have trouble bringing in a signal, so too does the energy body have difficulty picking up and then translating the signal. With enough energy, your inner sensing is much clearer.

I’m telling you this as someone who went through this. I also know numerous others who have had the same experience. Somewhere along the line someone drew a connection and then no one ever bothered to question it. I know; the pineal sure sounds cool, but it’s job is as a gland and has no part in psychic ability.

When you awaken, you do so with an awareness that shifts from the physical senses towards the inner senses. Even in the Hindu and Taoist texts related to awakening the writings are replete with description for how the mind turns to a world of awareness that is nonphysical in nature, an awareness of the forgotten “other side of the coin” of our experience.

In fact, this “turning” is described as a sudden awareness of self in light of the force now flowing in abundance which is called prana. Not entirely physical, but able to penetrate and nurture the physical body by virtue of its stimulating nature, this extremely fine vibrational energy straddles both physical matter and pure consciousness. The “body” that conducts awareness is our very consciousness. This body, which is nonphysical, has complimentary senses like those in the physical body. In truth, the physical senses are aspects of our so-called “inner senses.” 

Who you are beyond your physical body includes the physical senses but are also so much more. Being an eternal soul means that you have all kinds of senses that are native to your consciousness. Any body you take will naturally reflect to some degree the senses that are native to you beyond the physical. 

Consciousness is often described as though it is a body, but it is a body only insofar as your consciousness is connected and focused in a physical body. For now, I will stick with consciousness as a light body for simplicities sake.
Before we begin talking about the third eye I just needed to lay this bit of ground work. So onward and upward!

Each center in this light body has a capacity to sense certain vibratory aspects of prana. Each chakra, like notes on a scale, responds along certain frequencies of this energy called prana or chi to make up a “unity” of energetic experience. This might help in understanding just how amazingly rich and varied that this energy is. This energy, while it has a stimulating effect on our body, cannot be properly perceived by our physical senses. While we can detect prana or chi moving or impacting the body, our physical senses are not equipped to directly sense it. 
This is why the Taoists often described how, by using the physical senses to try to see the Tao, you would always come up short because you would only see the outward physical manifestation of those things which arise out of the great ocean of awareness which is the Tao. Chi is a radiation from the Tao, and thus cannot be physically glimpsed, only felt. 

Prana, or chi, interpenetrates all matter and is an aspect of matter. Remember E=MC2? This means that matter and energy are equivalent with one another. Change the vibration of energy and you will wind up with matter. Change the vibration of matter, and you get energy (they took this theorem and built the atomic bomb with it, you see). As a result, you can read where prana has been in a very real sense, which makes it possible to pick up information from a distance. Prana, having no mass, is completely unrestrained by the physical world. This also means that it has “nonlocality” which means that you can detect things beyond your immediate environment as well as those phenomenon that are “beyond” the physical.  You can pick up on these things because prana or chi is everywhere and your consciousness is made up of prana. As you might have inferred by now, this provides a rather amazing capacity for sensory experience provided there is a sense that can detect these kinds of things which prana as energy makes possible.
If you have trouble with this idea, then imagine a vast network of energy that is in everything down to the smallest and largest of scales. Now imagine that your consciousness has the capacity to detect this network and “read” what is there, courtesy of the energy that is in all of matter. Oh, and one more thing; this energy is sentient.

The third eye has long been known to be a powerful center linked to the arousal of kundalini. This etheric center is both energy vortex, or chakra, as well as an inner sensory channel. Called the ajna chakra by the Hindu, it is located along the brow between the two physical eyes. You can feel the third eye or ajna chakra activating when you feel a point of pressure in the third eye region.

Prior to the full “rising” of kundalini, I had a whole series of very unusual experiences that each, in turn, aided in my awakening process. I was aware of something within me that was guiding me step by step more deeply into the unfolding of my inner awareness that enabled the kindling of the force that is prana in abundance.
What happened in the wake of this was that I developed an enhanced ability to see the world through the inner sense that is the third eye. I observed that I was being tutored in how to see with this eye of the mind. I was shown the type of focus I needed to have in order to view through this portal. This focus was not one of the eyes, but of my consciousness itself. I learned in those early tutorials the secret of how to build what I call Waveform Awareness, a focus within consciousness that corresponds to the energy that we call the Ida or “Shakti” current. I also was shown that the Ida current could not do anything without its compliment, the Pengali, or masculine current. 

These two energies are not separate, but coexist as a whole together. However, it is the “Shakti” that has been suppressed in our awareness as a species so that when our awareness is opened to it, there is a brilliant infusion of wonderful energy that begins to “move” through us. This Shakti or “Waveform Awareness” is both a focus in consciousness, an awareness, and a quality IN our consciousness. This current corresponds to the feminine that resides in each of us, a force and quality that as humans we have significantly ignored in our day to day lives. 

It has been our pushing this quality and energy aside that has robbed each of us of our fantastic and wonderful potential as human beings. It is this missing part which is described by so many today as the return of the divine feminine. She is in each of us and is one side to a dual energetic force that we see when we look at the depiction of the cadeucius, which is an ancient depiction of kundalini. 

Everyone calls kundalini “kundalini shakti” because the force awakens when we join this missing part in us to the part that has served as our prime focus, the masculine counterpart, in consciousness.No, I know; this is not to say women are masculine. It is to say that our consciousness has been captured and limited by our over-emphasis upon a very linear left-brained mode of being as a species. These act as symbolic representations in our consciousness. There is no literal woman or man there. This awareness, though, can help us be more keenly aware of ourselves as both of these while sexual orientation remains as a portion of our overall identity.

As we continue our development as a species toward a more balanced social system, more awakenings will naturally result because the tables are turning as men and women have a little more leeway now to experience a larger range of what it means to be human. 

 

There is, though, a problem that exists today where the ajna chakra is concerned, and it  concerns the pineal gland, which is being touted AS the third eye. Not surprisingly, most who have latched on to this idea have not themselves experienced awakening or a significant enough third eye awakening that would quite naturally enlighten them about the true nature of this sensory capability. I suspect this association being made with thr pineal is so popular because it just sounds good. It does not have any basis in any observable evidence of any kind, however.  Instead, this association serves to misdirect minds from the essence of kundalini as a subtle energy phenomenon linked directly to consciousness and affecting the physical organism in a “secondary” symptomatic way. 

What needs to be understood by those who spread this idea that the third eye is somehow tied to the pineal gland is that the whole of the physical body, which is made up of matter, can only detect other material that is made out of it. Ears are designed to detect a very specific vibrational range of energy that is being expressed as sound. The eyes are designed to detect visible light. Taste is designed to detect the character of flavors in foods. All of this is physical.

What the chakra centers detect is energetic. The experience of inner sensory perception only seems physical because you are in a body and usually concerned with what is happening in the physical, but these senses are in no way limited to the physical, and can be turned to anything that you seek to inquire about. Your brain deftly turns psychic energy into recognizable patterns in the same way that it takes electrical signals and turns them into images or some other sensory experience. It does the exact same thing with inner imagery gleaned from the inner senses. It is pretty brilliant once you dig in and think about it for a while.

So a primer for what the pineal gland is about…
The pineal gland regulates sleep cycles and secretes melatonin. It does this by way of its photo receptivity. When the sun shines, melatonin is suppressed. However, in the presence of warm light, melatonin is steadily produced. This production of melatonin helps us to feel drowsy and to drop off to sleep.

This is why many people who stare at led monitors in the evening can have trouble getting to sleep because LED’s render whites slightly blue, which is identical to mid-day sunlight which is the color of light that just happens to suppress melatonin production. And yes, it is located in the center of the brain. But no, it in no way has any capacity to percieve anything so fine as the ether or pranic force. The pineal is photoreceptive in ways that the two eyes are receptive, but the pineal does not possess enough of these cells to see much of anything except the light that enters the eye and actually travels into the brain via the optic nerve. This is all physical phenomenon, you see.

 
When you DO use your third eye, you are not looking outward, but inward in order to focus into that vibrational frequency that will allow you to detect objects and events at a considerable distance. This includes things taking place on the other side of the planet and even far out into space. And yes, this type of sensing is common once the third eye chakras has been properly opened, used, and understood. I doubt that when I was sensing the apartment of a friend 1500 miles away with pinpoint accuracy that I was using any form of a physical gland or organ at all. 

What I am encouraging you to do is to follow the trail set down by countless others who have awakened this inner sense and begin testing it to see for yourself. I also urge you not to just take my word for it. 

This does mean properly activating the third eye so that you can see clearly enough with it to test your own vision just like I did, using the apartment of a friend that I had never seen nor gotten any description of,  as a test. Test your ability to remote view, or check in on a friend or loved one. Give yourself hard data to work from.

I hope that this has served to help raise awareness about this subject. 
In my next post I will provide a simple method for awakening both the third eye and consciousness. It is an ancient and extremely simple system that I employed that yielded results. I did not know at the time that this was an ancient technique, however.

~Nemaste~

Adrenaline

You know that pranic movement leads to greater awareness of subconscious material. You know that prana brings awareness. 
So inevitably there is a point in awakening when all manner of hard emotions gets dredged up as a result of this. 

One is fear. But fear is very tricky, you see, because of how self-reinforcing it is. It is an emotional trap that can capture a person and keep them imprisoned. 

Some people repress their fear, which leaves what was creating the fear safely hidden deep in the subconscious. 

Sometimes people will only let fear share a small place in their conscious awareness so it does not take them over. Again, the reason for the fear remains like a weed whose leaves sprout up into the conscious self and are tended carefully by the personal will of the self. 

In awakening, though, fear and it’s chemical mirror, adrenaline, can rise up and show itself in all of its powerful glory. In truth, this can be overwhelming. But hang on; ask yourself what is really happening here. What is happening is prana is merely increasing your awareness so that you now feel more of the fear. At this point, though, you are only looking at the branches growing out of your subconscious, with the root of of the problem lying deeper within. You are being shown a problem, you see, and now you need to be able to go deeper to root it out from the subconscious. 

There is a problem with this situation, which is how fear begets more fear. In order to draw it out, you need a steady sense of calm. Adrenaline does not keep you calm. 
You need to learn how to tame the beast first, then draw it out by healing it. You no longer just calm yourself and then try to forget about it, which is what most people do to cope, but use the fear as a huge sign that is telling you right where the fear is. Now, instead of running from it, you wisely use this as a blessing. 

You now have been shown where a wound exists. You know that it revolves around fear, and you can also know what kinds of events serve to activate it by simply observing yourself carefully like an observer.

 In the beginning of this kind of work, what is often felt can be the kind of fear that is primal, utterly irrational. All of this winds up looking like a tangled mess, which it often is, but lying at the core is often a very simple and utterly uncomplicated event that sparked the fear, which is most often a trauma (s) from your past.  You might have no earthly idea where it is coming from. 

Fear that is strong enough and persistent enough can lead to a deep sense of dread, horror, even….with no known cause (especialy when kundalini awakens-even though pranic force will in the end lead you to healing it….but just not immediately if adrenaline has “got” you).

The worst thing you can do is to react to fear. It can leave you feeling like a deer in the headlights. It can lead you to chaotic behavior and it can make your life hellish. Reacting to it, you feed it. You begin triggering the adrenal response with still more adrenaline.

My dark time with adrenaline stretched into months. It was one of the top five hardest parts of kundalini rising. Besides leading to adrenal burnout, collapse, or adrenal failure, it is very hard on your body. I have a good family friend who had to seek medical attention to restart her adrenals after a long continuous bout with fear and anxiety connected to her awakening experience. However, conquering fear is one of the biggest victories in an awakening because fear robs you of energy that could be used for things like it’s opposites such as love and joy. Love cannot properly grow and flourish when fear and its counterpart hatred are taking up your attention.

Most fear is irrational for the very fact that when you are working from a trauma in the past, fear can color everything you see and blinding you from seeing the world as it is. When you are sitting in the quiet of your room trying to meditate and all you can feel is that piercing pain down deep into the core of you, all you are doing is dredging up feelings from the past. To heal the past, you must bring awareness into the moment. The fear might not be connected to anything in particular, but you will still need to learn how to recognize it in order to move on. This can be the alchemical moment where a giant ball of “yuck” gets transmuted into bliss. Yes, really. So how to do this?

Learn to bring forward and cultivate the Witness. Stand back and watch. See what slight deviation in feeling can shift you out, even for a moment, of fear and adrenaline. Over and over, watch what you are doing to break the adrenaline train. If you are caught in a recursive pattern of fear, you might need to study this in small snatches, those moments when you feel adrenaline subside. Watch and ask yourself what was it that caused the shift to happen. You might have to spend days, weeks even, of watching when these subsidences happen and then identify what it was that did it for you.  Then you can learn to direct your mind to different feeling states that bring on greater bliss and train your mind to remain there for longer and longer periods. Leave healing the source of the fear for now because once you can feel bliss, the issue that caused the fear may naturally dissolve, or you will be naturally guided to how to heal it when you are ready. If you have experience with awakening then surely you have experience with this particular phenomenon.

You want to find ways to lessen the adrenal response, and in the beginning, anything that gives you relief is good (short of medicating yourself-this only delays the process of inner transformation). Watch what shifts you out of the fear and duplicate it in order to extend it. This is for cases of extreme adrenal response. You need a coping mechanism so that you can later deal with the root cause of the fear. Your body will follow you like an obedient shadow.

By feeling this deeply, your body is washing itself of fear, but it is you who must root out the fear locked in the body and tell yourself that this fear is only in the past. This moment now is entirely new.
Over time you train yourself how to step out of fear. 

Surrender can help, but this can be tricky at first. Sometimes it can feel impossible to break out of the cycle because it can be so overwhelming. If adrenaline is this bad, it is important to be able to trigger bliss. Surrender can sometimes feel like you will just make it worse. What is true is that by resisting (anything) emotionally, bliss can turn into a nightmare. I know how crazy this sounds. But part of bliss includes healthy adrenal output. Dopamine all on its own will leave you so dreamy and blessed out that you won’t be able to focus on anything except the bliss. A small bit of adrenaline is an accompaniment to the awakened state, but if you have latent fear, the adrenals can shift into high gear and stay there, overpowering the dopamine high and bringing such terrible feelings. It is here that you can manifest paranoia, which is a problem all its own.

Breath work is something that can be very useful in breaking the fear. This breath needs to be slow, deep, and even . I began mimicking the type of breathing I noticed in sleeping people. It worked very well. Alternating nostril breath can be very helpful, and has been used for centuries to stimulate and balance prana through the two channels of yin and yang energies (Ida and Pengali). Try four slow breaths in and out per nostril, holding each nostril closed as you do this, repeating this four times. Continue this at least four times. 
Cranial Sacral massage is very good at getting you relaxed and going deep.

When you get in a fix with adrenaline and fear, believing you need to stay there to soak it in is poppy-cock. The only purpose these negative states serve is to help you in not feeling them anymore. That’s right-flee the building as soon as possible. You will be able to release this fear once adrenaline has moderated.

Music can help, guided imagery for relaxation, and even eating have all been ways I have been able to step out of the pain of the fear body. Climb out and don’t look back. Later, you can release any block you need, but for most people, doing this while the body is in full flame is very difficult. If you respond from a place of fear, you won’t be able to release anything. You will just marinate in it. Once you conquer fear, you can then release the “split” or block.

So often, it is fear alone that keeps you locked in a recursive loop that has to be broken before substantive change can happen. If the block is in you and you are afraid of it, you won’t be able to do this release work.You will simply fear the block too much.

There are other therapies for dealing with fear, adrenaline, and kundalini, and these are included in my blog under adrenaline. Do a search and you will find much more.

If you are experiencing adrenal overload, it’s not easy, but it can teach you a high level of mastery over what appears to be involuntary.

~P.

My Religion

My religion is the wind swept plains, the tea shared on rainy days with wordless joy passing between us. It is the pulse within me which finds the pulse of the universe as I find them the same. My religion has no beliefs but is filled with presence, and a joy that grows ever-bountiful. Like a hermit I live, and every moment with those whom I love grows more precious by the day. 

My heart is filled from a deep well from within as it’s waters never lessen or subside. I do not have to believe anything when what I know burns and flows with a power I just can’t tell. But I do wish the world could know this. But until then, I do the curious things we creatures do and find excitement in the simplest of things. This eternal flame of a presence contents me and rouses me to a new life.

I wish it were true that love is found in another, but this pulse of life that animates my awareness says this is not so. We must find this love first within us if we are to know it in another… for how else could we ever love them rightly, speaking such different languages which we want to call love. No, I must first overflow, be so enlivened and filled that it will ward me off from loves mistaken, loves that seek to take and make others responsible for what we truly each must find for ourselves. It’s been one of my latter realizations that I am here building a vibrant love inside myself so grand that its often hard to stand. But I do, and sigh into deeper folds of its mesmerizing wonder.

I am left utterly stripped of belief, and naked as I am, I am so much closer to the one that animates and guides. Listening quietly, I do wonder that if this is all there is, how grand that I may have just come to it, ready for the consummating kiss that is it’s promise made somewhere hidden in the folds of our bridal chamber.
I do not believe, but I bear the riches of the heart of religion. I have the temple without the priests. It is the deepest and most holy of the mysteries, and it is the only one you ever need to know to see how it alone reveals the rest. She bids me enter her most sacred of mysteries. She shows me where her lover meets her which is in the triadic chamber of my heart. No priests or priestesses, no law, no guess work. No prophets, no holy wars. No hymns, save my warm breath and yearning. No candles, save the flame of it all, and no opinions, no pronouncements in the deep chamber that is my soul knowing itself.

To love that the divine moves in you is no sin but sacred. To know beyond all dogma is a healing hand. With just a glance my whole life opens to it with no eventuality ever being just sheer chance. To honor the love that lives in me is to love and honor how masterfully I was made…and I do hope that you find this soon, too, so we can share Summer’s last fading light with tea and thunderstorms and the honor of pure religion flowing in our hearts.

Healing The Parent Wound

There are few people in our experience who have as powerful presence in our lives as family. So foundational, so basic to who we are. Most often people, like our parents, serve to show us something incredibly important about ourselves. Most often, though, we often view our parents with a mixture of love, frustration, joy, and hurt…and we pull away when we see the negative aspects in them, and us, coming. Parents, though, can show you right where your own fractures are. You just need to know how to see them. Most often, when things go bad, we focus only on the wounds that we feel, as some form of victimization in some way or another. We didn’t get enough of something, or got too much of something else. Lying behind our shadowed experiences with family lies a rich bed of truth, and only when you are brave enough to suspend your own personal misgivings about them, can you reach into this truth about yourself. 

Hurt or feeling a victim is itself a snake swallowing it’s tail; it continues until you choose to step out of this feeling, this self-chosen definition of who you think you are. This is not easy since feelings associated with childhood go so far back. It’s a hard habit to break. But it’s possible to step out of the vortex of your own pain or hurt in order to know these deeper truths. There is little else that heals as quickly your own issues which are often called the mother and father wound.

Many years ago, in 2009, I was assisted by a brilliant intuitive in what was a guided imagery exercise deep into my early feelings when I was a child. So often, we hold our own emotions at a distance so that we never really examine them or understand them all that well. What I was guided to do was to reach into my memory of feeling during my first year of life. With a father dying from cancer, my mother was suddenly facing being alone with 4 children to care for. I was just over a year old at the time. Just a baby, really.  I didn’t get what I knew that I needed. It formed the core of a wound that followed me every day of my life.

The guided imagery, which expertly took me deep within myself, allowed me a level of comprehension that I had l lacked up until the session began. I had always assumed that the core of my feelings were just too buried in memory and they weren’t accessible. No matter how early these things occur, we all have the information within us. Instead of conscious memory, my guide took me deep into feeling, a path whose comprehension is as fresh as can be.

This experience showed me that behind the tangle of upset lay deeper feelings I hadn’t fully examined. The first stage in the healing was in simply understanding how I felt. No more arm’s length. There was more there that I had hurriedly hidden away within myself that kept a fuller understanding at bay. It was brilliant because as soon as I did this, I was then able to see things as they were, or more so where my Mother and I were concerned. I saw my Mother in a way I had never seen her before. This enabled me to forgive not just her, but myself for having clung to this old feeling for so long.

The result of this work was that it cleared an old karma of mine and also of my Mother’s. She felt guilt because she knew I had been at odds with her, and I had felt anger towards her for something I didn’t get. This was a self-reinforcing problem until I snipped the loop of the snake. The change was instantaneous.

This changed our relationship for the better. I saw her differently and felt differently, too. It was a liberating experience. I was able to see beyond my own mess and her load was lightened from then on.

Healing these wounds are critically important to substantive spiritual growth and gets at fundamental issues about ourselves that are less about the victim and more about seeing things as they are. When you can do this, feelings can be changed forever. Until you do this work, you are in truth only running from yourself. It’s about you, and less about them. It’s more about your reaction, and less about what they did. Divine forgiveness sweeps through your entire being and completely erases the trauma or hurt that you had stored there. A new chapter can then be written in your life that changes everything based on the healing of the hurt for all time. It never returns when healed in this way.While there might be other issues floating in the ether, these become easier to heal and let go. 

You can’t forgive with your head and expect healing to come.This must come from all parts of you. It is what healing these things that makes healing so huge for you. Everything else is just trimming weeds. The process I went through was unconditional and took me to the core, to the hidden root of the problem.

My daughter and I clowning for the camera recently

Years later I was able to see how during a divorce, my children were being polarized into anger over how her mother was acting. Yes, she had been emotionally abusive. The mother of my children began to engage in inappropriate behavior by indulging in what is called in psychiatric circles as mobbing behavior. Mobbing happens when someone decides they hate another person and tries to turn other people against the targeted person through a campaign of criticism and denigration. Healthy people will know better than to let their own upset get the better of them, especially in a divorce where children are involved. But in cases of mental instability or abusive tendencies, a parent can engage in a campaign of seeking to alienate the target just to get back at them, to try to destroy what they hold most dear; their children and the relationship they have with them.
In the case of one of my children, she found that what her mother was saying was untrue due in part to because she chose to retain her own sense of self and willingness to be objective. Because she was willing to spend time with me, she was able to very quickly  see how what her mother was saying just didn’t hold up. This is where this type of campaign can backfire on the parent who is engaging in the denigration of the other parent, resulting in a child who sees through the deception with a broken sense of trust, with resentment that often follows.
 
Yes, she could have wound up hating her Mom. Had I been like her Mother, I could have taken this and run with it. I knew though that the future of my child’s coping skills hinged on her having a good relationship with her mother and myself.  I urged her to forgive, and the amazing thing is, she did. She forgave and she forgot.

This is how this work goes. To be free, you have to release all negative feeling in order to be able to move on with greater happiness. It’s the holding on that causes us to suffer and keeps us not fully healed. It transforms how you see the person who hurt you and it’s instantaneous.
The difference between my one child who took the bait his Mother was feeding him and my daughter who was more willing to find out the other side of the story is like night and day. It’s hard as a parent to know how you are setting up a child for failure in their life when you succeed in getting a child to believe falsehoods about the other parent that serve to make a normal relationship impossible for the child. This child now has the classic symptoms of parental alienation which include depression, anxiety, anger management issues, and difficulty holding down jobs or completing long-scale tasks like graduating from high school, or completing a college program. Children of alienation are unable to form lasting relationships and tend to move around a lot, from relationships every few years, as well as changing jobs every few years. It is always the problem of the school, the boss, or significant other. 
While you should never stay in a bad situation with toxic people, the people so abused do not have healthy coping skills, which is the legacy that this type of abuse nails to the hearts and minds of children like this. I can tell you just how tragic it is to have not just a spouse engage in this denigration against you, but to have a once-loving child swept up in this terrible outcome. So you can see how important it was for me to make sure that my child could have the benefit of the love and support she so badly needs in order to grow up more whole and healthy as an adult.

When I began the session with my intuitive, I had no idea where we’d wind up. Neither did she; she was being led in large part by her own gift, and this is how her work often is. It also is what makes her so incredibly successful in her intuitive work with people. It helped to transform my relationship with my own Mother, and has led to a happier and more joyful life. This rising tide will lift all boats. 

I encourage you to do this work because it’s so basic and foundational, and can have the power to change so much  within you that has been a problem or stumbling block  for years. With help like this, difficult problems can be changed in an instant when you are ready and have excellent guidance from a gifted person like I had.

Family is so important to us and for us. Being able to transform the nature of something difficult into something positive is a truly beautiful thing. It touches on your and their lives as well as your siblings, if you have them.

For anyone who would like to explore this work more in-depth, I am happy to share her contact information. Just drop me a line or request it to find out more.
P.

What If

What if…
it all lies beyond your fear
that coiled serpent
of a moment
that goes up in a puff of smoke
turning illusions into real
and returning you to heaven.
What if
the lies you told
were to leap to life
haunting you on your darker nights
pursuing you until you faced them
whilst they turned to doves
full of a forgiving song
as Grace filled you in redemptive wonder
as your heart is given over to truth
not as a thing you would ever dare utter
but to live?
Would it be enough to spend
centuries of earth time in silence?
What if the old stories were mistook
as you were led on journies of folly
for lifetimes even

And what if those stories
were the ones that you wrote 

on the bright sky of memory?
What would you do then?
Would you go looking
lurching
to a fabled promised land?
Or would you find it right where you rest?
What would your heart say?
What if all you ever needed
was held in one sweet breath of a moment
such that nothing else ever felt the same
or could be?
Would this
and more
be enough to undo you
as the tightly bound laces of your
preconception
were loosed in one wild flurry of  forgetting
as all laws and convention
save one 
were cast aside?
What would you do
and who really would you be?

Made Sacred

​She’s made sacred by desire

Her great yawning passion

Whose throes 

are the forge

of creation

The multiversity rests

perched,

ready,

unknown

even to her

until the brilliant light enters

whose warmth stirs

and awakens

a celestial womb

draped in night

and buried deep

but moved by by his presence

so that

blooming

she opens deeper still

as everything in the illumine

is undone

revealed

taken and given

all at once.

These are ours

moments snatched 

from the infinite

a Sunday morning late in Spring

with tea and rain

drawing us into this warmth 

of presence

where divine

laden

springs.

How Things Go

When awakening comes, the consciousness you awaken to is an awareness of the collective consciousness. Beautiful, joyful, and also with bitter and sad notes, too. It’s a group voice, this soul of the world.

Perhaps, if you are like me, you go down deep just to listen to those trillions who have lived, will live, and are alive now. This resurrection, this “rising” spoken of in early Christian documents such as Philip, gives a nod to the change or shift away from such a simplistic (and limited) way of seeing the world to one more nuanced, an awareness -a Witness- within time while being cognizant that all-time is accessible when consciousness is pitched to the right frequency. It’s less a single line, and more a radiation through all realities and worlds. This is known as the spacious present.

So going deep into it, I feel this inevitable shift happening in the collective that so often mirrors what happens when a block, or what my friend calls a “soul split” is healed. Do you notice what happens in the weeks or days before a block is healed? I notice there is all this stuff that comes up….it can make me feel sick sometimes…it can fill me with an awareness of a part of shadow that is getting ready to be healed, which always makes me feel yucky….I might even feel fear over it, I might feel edgy and even an edge of anger, all depending on the nature of the block. And then…. there comes the moment of grace where I accept it while the divine awareness within me forgives myself…a part that is not “apart.” It is redeemed.  This is where it transforms, in just such a place or state of being….it’s energetic polarity flips and it begins to be flow, not resistance. After that, it was as though it had never been. Poof. Just. Like.That!

It seems this is happening on a larger scale, and it’s been a long train coming. In greater earnest it’s been coming since around 2000. In truth, it’s a continuum with feet all through time, building up to the current day. As it does, as more light comes into some, there is this reaction by those still caught in the old paradigm. Its often similar to what I feel when all the junk gets stirred up…I remain calm, but most act out. In truth, it isn’t an orderly March out of shadow on an individual level, but it’s certainly gaining momentum. As it does, this reaction becomes increasingly more bizarre. The shadow is being driven upwards out of the collective. I don’t sense there is a great deal of awareness of this en mass. 

Logic suggests that this will continue until something comes to a head. And then?  I can’t say. What choice is made will determine this. But amongst the apocalyptic philosophies or religions, they point to a greater deal of sanity world wide. In the Christian idea, it’s a thousand years of peace. In the Hopi cosmology, a shift from one world into another. Both are marked by upheaval.

The world does not end. Humans move forward. The end is the end of the old ways for at least a group who see the light. Rarely can a prophet see beyond the prophecy that they propound. And sometimes, cloaked in the syntax of dream (like John does for example), it’s hard to know just what the symbols mean. 

For the Hopi and their tradition of startlingly accurate prophecies, they saw one group, a small one, keeping on an even keel while others stuck to a jagged line or path in the passage into the next age. But who knows. There have been people in every single generation who thought the end was near. Do we really know what this “end” will look like?

I know that for me, this is an ever-brilliant world whose petals open as ones awareness opens and the nuous, or knowing, comes. It was there all along and people have not seen it. In early Christian texts Jesus explains that the Kingdom has already come, and no one has seen it. That was about two thousand years ago.

It rests within you what it is that the world of humans will be. What have you been choosing at this time on the planet? I’d like as many awake that can come along. I do know, despite the nay-sayers, that it won’t be as simple of a dividing of the goats and sheep. Don’t be surprised if things don’t go down as the apocalyptic (= to suddenly reveal) visions have seemed to have pointed to. There might be a “new” earth, but this earth might simply be seen anew. It could be cleansed. It could be any number of things.

One parting word of caution though. The Hopi have only given prophecy as a way to avoid the bad outcomes. A prophecy was never meant in Christianity to be what inevitable. Nothing is. We can choose the higher path, which keeps us rooted to earth while our souls soar in sheer glory and grace.
We will have to see how things go.

We Burn

I have been working on a renovation project this week that has included taking down parts of an old shed roof over a deck. It might surprise you to know how boards will look after sitting under roofing shielded from the sun. They can actually char. Low steady heat does the same job as sudden flames. 

I rather think that this is like how we are… how, over lifetimes, this slow burn accumulates until it is so ripe, so full and cluttered, we can stand it no longer. Or some part of us can’t.

Our troubles

accumulated,

Our wounds so deep-

furrowed,

triggers something

It can come like a sigh

often  a sudden realization

this can’t be all there is…

we cross over the borderlands

the no-mans land

filled with the remnants

of lifetimes worth of the dried

and charred tinder

the misappropriations of our spirit

ready for the kiss of fire

to set it all aflame.

Just like that, the house burns down.

Our hopes and plans, up in smoke…

along with our lies  
cleverly assembled to look like castles 

but are only  vain glory.

The moon never shone more brightly after, 

nor the rain more precious

every drop now

an explosion

or a tease

….a world waiting to explode.

Seems you must lose it all to gain all 

only because we all lie like that 

and bury them as though they mean something

until of course we burn for real

and immolate until the blaze is enough to illuminate,

purify,

and simplify the work of the sacred arsonist 

who rests in every heart and waits 

for when the alarm sounds and 
our world is set to flame.

It is ever thus

that souls are carried home

by the fire of the Holy Ghost 

Whose sweet destruction returns us each

to what is true.

It’s the love that prevails.