NOTE: I have been quiet for a while, I have been busy with building projects and doing work on the studio for improvements to make things work better. Everything is working great, and I am eager to re-christen my studio business after having let it law fallow for a number of years.  I would not have been able to allow myself to go as far “out” as I did in my inner work had it not been for being able to allow the incredible focus required in my business to go by the wayside for a time. That time is now past and I am revving the engines of my new studio practice that will have new elements that will allow me to work with the community in new and beneficial ways. It has been a busy but very exciting time. So with that, a story about reincarnation follows….

 


 

It’s hard for many Westerners to wrap their heads around the notion of reincarnation sometimes. We are taught from an early age that this is a belief that verges on superstition, unsupported by science, that it is not within the confines of true Christian though, or of just about any thought outside of Buddhism. There is an incredible resistance in many people’s minds about this subject. I know that in my own experience, everyone that I know who is a skeptic is someone who themselves do not have a past life experience or memory.  I think its perfectly fine to be skeptical, but at a certain point skepticism becomes demagogery.  This is where belief sets in because the very nature of belief is that you are not accepting of something based on factual data, but on no proof whatsoever.  That is a tall order, don’t you think, to accept something without really knowing for sure whether it is true?  On the one hand, this is crucial for being able to explore new ideas or possibilities, but it can also result in swallowing a tall tale hook line and stinker!  In researching our history in Christianity, one can trace where the concept of reincarnation was weeded out by Roman emperors.  It is a fascinating story, and for years I had always heard that it was Emperor Constantine’s wife who was responsible for striking the concept of reincarnation from the Biblical accounts.  In fact, it wasn’t Constantine’s wife, but a later wife of an emperor named Justinian.  That story was recounted in a previous post on the subject on this blog a few years ago. It is worth reading and worth getting up on the subject if you are at all interested in how Christianity was shaped, changed, and finally forged into a version of itself now known as the Orthodox view.  It is not, however, the focus of this blog entry today, though.  If you really want to dig into the subject you can read about the history here:  https://wordpress.com/post/wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/1350

 

For whatever reason, I have had numerous past lives that have emerged over time to be known by me.  In most every case, the recollection was part of some lesson being integrated into my heart and mind at the time and which also bore on something that had happened similarly in the past.  What is so interesting is that this is exactly what Tibetan monks and other Rinpoche’s have said reincarnation happens in your memory.  That seems reasonable, right?  As one Rinpoche has said, if you want to know your past life, look at the conditions of your life right now and you will see everything that was in that past life.  These past life recollections were very often part of some pattern shared with events happening today.  In one case, I saw three lifetimes briefly, but which each showed me how I had explored the nature of possessing wealth.  In one life I was born as a king into it, in another, I was a grave robber of many of the surrounding tombs where I had lived and reigned as that king.  In yet another, I was a woman who was part of a large cache of wealth being transported in the hull of a small ship with several other women who I thought of as my sisters.  In this lifetime, I WAS the wealth; I was a possession.  I was part of a harem.

 

In other instances, I have had past life memories bearing on events in my life today, such as a life as a native American man, a freed slave in the post-civil war south, and as a leader of a group of Polynesians who lived on islands in the Pacific during a migration.  This memory came up as I lay on the therapy table with my body worker who does deep tissue and energy work.  Hers was called Kahuna medicine and it honors both sides of our energetic potential; the masculine and feminine forces of Chi or life force energy.  I was lying there as she removed a blocked piece of energy and I found myself jarred back into a very old memory that involved me looking at my feet as a small child of three, suddenly and completely aware of where I was and what was happening.  I was standing on the beach along the Gulf of Mexico in Florida just before being hauled out into the waves to clean the sand off of me after our outing there.  Because I was afraid of the waves, this was a terrorizing event that left me crying all the way home.  Odd reaction, you might think, and maybe so unless you were there with me as I slipped from childhood memory to yet another memory further back in time when I was living on an island in the Pacific with a tribe of dark-skinned people who traveled from island to island in our quest to find our own paradise. In that memory I had called for us to head out across the ocean only to run into a storm so violent, every single person in our group was completely wiped out.  The waves crashing down were unbelievably large and the guilt that lay around my neck was deep and heavy.  It took lifetimes to get to a place where I would be able to release both the guilt but also the fear I had of water that was mirrored in my childhood experience but whose genesis for that fear was farther back in time.  The point being that these two memories were tied together in a way that made them relevant.

I am mentioning this because there was a time when I ever wondered if I would ever have recall of a lifetime. It seemed that for years growing up that things were…well…normal.  And then things began to happen once I moved away from home.  I just began to wake up more and more.  As that happened, more and more things rose to the surface.  Over time, I found that my own dreams at night often carried past life material in them.  So far, I have two languages to my credit that are no longer being spoken from two distinct cultures that I had lifetimes in.  In each case, hearing the language spoken in the memory led me to the culture.  I say this because somewhere you might have traveled to some faraway location and felt it was so familiar, you might have met someone who seemed as though you had known them before and that you simply picked up where you had left off in some seemingly unknown past. Maybe you have friends who wonder over your ability to do something better than most people.  They call you gifted, but maybe it comes from having done it before, having had lifetimes of practice.  An event might have triggered recall, or you might have had dreams about them.  I am of the mind that we need to know who we really are in order that we might perfect ourselves so that we might be able to open our minds more and know how the world really works.  The Easterners call this pulling back the veil of illusion.  Me, I just consider it being able to more accurately perceive the world as it is, instead of as we are.

Well what happens when your teacher dies and you are tasked with finding the new reincarnation of your teacher?  This has already happened and the story of its happening was recorded and is available for you to see on Gaiam tv and Amazon Prime Video.  The story I am writing about is that of a Tibetan monk who recently went on a journey to find his teacher’s reincarnation in a process of discovery that is nothing short of remarkable and should leave those who have been stolid disbelievers with a twinkle of possibility concerning the reality of reincarnation. I have always felt that we need to record instances like these in as clear and unbiased way as we can because helping people to know their true selves, their fuller being in this world is what spiritual liberation is all about.  Jesus taught it, Dogen taught it, Buddha taught it, and all of the other great teachers down through time have taught it.  While their methods might have all been a little different, their concepts are not that different from one another.  Jesus spoke of the “life” or the “water of life” while Zen Buddhists described it as the golden flower, the bloom which bring imperishabillity.

 

The unmistaken child is a contemporary story about the reincarnation of a Rinpoche, an enlightened being who has come to earth to assist others in overcoming the veil of illusion that keeps souls caught in a cycle  of both suffering and reincarnation.  It is quite a lovely story, worth seeing if you get the chance.

 

“If you want to know your future life, know your present actions.”

-Padasabhava, 8th Century

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In my last entry I described a meditation I got caught up in that resulted in strong light activity, a phenomenon often tied to awakening experiences. After what was a very productive session, I decided it would be a good idea to revisit the meditation again to see if I could continue with the work. This time was decidedly different, but was oddly similar to the movie about the after death experience “What Dreams May Come” starring Robin Williams. In a similar way, it was also a bit like the movie “Inception” too. This was due to the lucidity present throughout the experience, I think.

When I say my meditation was like a movie, it’s not lost on me that there was an undercurrent of drama, hinting at a subsumed emotional energy, like a great big question lying in hidden veils at the center of some great edifice that kept coming up and up, over and over. But this meditation took me deep while awake, and then took me into dream, while I alternated between lucidity and full-on dream state and forgetfulness of earthbound ego awareness. This time, instead of brilliance, I delved deep into the shadow.

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I have tended to see awakening taking on this kind of cycle; a moment of brilliance followed by a deep dredge of the muck as though one serves to bring up the other. It isn’t perhaps why many people misunderstand the power that awakening contains. It’s not all rainbows. It is more about clearing, cleansing, and it can be hard on you to do this kind of delving. I know it’s not fun for me….but it always comes with a reward that is forever reaped, an inheritance that remains perennial.

I slipped into the deep state. This part is the easy part. It’s being able to remain lucid enough inside such a deep lovely swirling eddy of energy and not lose consciousness, especially when it’s at the end of the day and you are ready for bed. I remained neutral, not seeking to do anything since the intention was already placed. I just had to wait for the subconscious and higher self to do their part. I was along as a witness to what would unfold. My cat lay next to me, again, purring softly, a few snorts as she drifted either deep or up out of her own deep sleep. This time, she would project right into my lucid dream, acting as a reminder to remember why I was there.

I wound up inside a dream. It was night and I was walking around an old house that I remembered having dreamed of years before in another shadow work dream at an earlier stage in my progress. Nowadays, dream imagery and its meaning tends to be much more direct or understandable than it ever was before awakening. For me, a house represents the construct of human consciousness. It is an image that Jesus often used, too, and it has been a consistent image each time I dream of it. In one dream I might be in a house, in another, a warehouse, or in one, I stood on the streets of a city as I observed the roots of some massive tree or plant that was growing in a large building, revealing its roots as it emerged through cracks in a deep stairwell….an image that spoke to me of the work that remained to be done in the root chakra, the foundation.

Last night, it was that same old haunted house. It had the weight of ghosts, of lives and people who had lived inside of it and now it lay abandoned. A moment of lucidity began to build and I felt myself dream while kicking into meditation all awareness simultaneously. The last time I was here, the dream ended with me discovering that I could lift up into the air; a clear indication of my letting go and allowing the organic force flow through me. I lifted up into the treetops. This time, though, I was solidly grounded. I pondered what else was there to clear out, to resolve in this tumble of an old home? It was in its own slanted way, a great life, but it wasn’t my life today, but one lived a long time ago. All of this was emblematic of the work I had left incomplete in that previous life, and here I was, having to set it right, to give it that moment of forgiveness it so needed in order to be free.

The house lay in a depression, between two sloping meadows. It must have been a lovely sight in its heyday, but it was lying in moonlight and was ramshackle. The large wrapping porch had sunk in, taking a wing of the roof with it. You could see into its interior and as I made my way around it, I realized how much it lay in shadow. “If there is to be light here, I am the one who must bring it…” I realized.

Just as I thought this, I felt myself lift and the dream fall away from me. I was warm in bed, and only had a moment to ponder as, like a swimmer, I went right back in, grabbing a quick breath as the waves of sleep lapped over my head and everything went muffled and I lost ordinary waking consciousness, trusting that I would find myself again on the other side.

I was walking in yet another building, another old house, and this time I was inside it. There was no light, and windows down the hall and into a large outer room were painted over a kind of greenish color. Drapes hung in tatters, and there was a drip of water that made a smacking sound as each drop filled a puddle on the wooden floor, now a wash of sepia in the dark of the night. I remembered this house, too. This was one I didn’t like at all. It looked like it hadn’t been lived in in forty years. Nothing was bright about this place, it had a dank and decaying feeling to it. I kept walking though, wondering if I would find something that would mean I had broken through to something. I noticed kitty was with me. She has a name, but she knows kitty best. Sometimes she is monkey, sometimes Georgette. There she was, her tail flicking upwards. I could hear her thoughts, wondering why we were here, then immediately realizing that she was in my dream. She settled in after that and began following alongside me with less trepidation. She predicted that we wouldn’t be here long,and she was right. I surfaced yet another time out of sleep and felt my deep breathing. It was like being awake, but feeling the spell of dreaming still all around me.

The answers didn’t come in the usual fashion. So much of these places represented aspects of myself from the past, mostly distant, unresolved, lying unseen, needing badly to be seen. They had a surrealistic quality to them. I felt that edge of…fear, dread, and yuck about it. But that was exactly why I had to go back into these old haunts. I wasn’t there seeking to do what a guide once admonished me never to do, which was to try and drag it back into my life again. No, this was different. The idea that I had to carry the light into these darker corners was what this was all about.

Awakening is ruthless. You can’t bullshit yourself. Only when it’s completely clean, clear, forgiven, can things be forgotten. Until our inner compass is satisfied, we wind up going back to those places to sweep that little remaining bit of shadow away. I felt like I was ingesting it, taking it in so that I could metabolize it into light. Kitty stirred and looked at me through blinking eyes, sleepily, her head up, then back down, nonchalantly falling back in for another round of sleep. This felt like it was turning into a tag team wrestling match, dipping into lucid dreaming using meditation as the launching pad.

I kept at this all night in a marathon of visitations, never knowing where I would end up next, but in each case it was some long forgotten building, some old remnant that I have inherited in this go-round and am tasked with emptying of what is less than it’s best. Like  a big cleaning. You know how it is. You pull out the big stuff and haul it away, and with each time you go back, the particles get finer and finer until you go from sweeping up the last bits to wiping up the dust. This is all old business, an old self, a past life, and it’s now being brought forward.

I thought about that first house I dreamed of in the months before awakening came. It was all so much brighter, more optimistic. A road led up a hill with a creek running beside it. The creek grew stronger the closer I got to its headwaters, which revealed how this wasn’t an ordinary body of water. It was prana itself, filled with symbols and brilliant. How could water be so bright? Climbing the hill, on the right, was a beautiful arts and crafts meets Zen monastery. Built from large beams, the building interlocked, revealing its construction. Stone rose up through its middle, and when you walked inside you could clearly see two fountains inside, split down the middle, representing the Ida and Pengali currents with the Shushuma in the middle. That was my house, my temple, a place that was more than just home, but was who I was. It still is. But since that time, I have had to venture out into the past in order to heal it and cleanse it. Actually, I can’t even say it is I who does this; clearly my earthbound self isn’t up to this, but something deeply rooted in me is. It is this part of me that teaches, reveals, redeems, and ressurects. I wish dream could be brighter sometimes, but there are plenty of regular dreams that are, and besides, digging into shadow always resolves some deeper sense of feeling ill at ease in me.

It would be great if I could offer some grand finale, but an ending is itself a beginning, a new thread is discovered and it’s then followed through until something big is exposed from the rubble. Another chapter is begun even as additional chapters emerge. Over time, what I have found, is the gradient becomes finer and finer. It actually gets harder to keep the shoulder to the grind stone sometimes. It’s easier…the energy is less turbulent and it doesn’t stir me in the same way. But what I also find is that in some ways it’s a little easier simply because so many blocks have been removed. The blocks have gotten harder, but the level of confidence has been forged in the flame of awakening. As if that makes any kind of sense, right? The easy stuff came away first, and when I put myself into energy work like Chi Gong, material cascaded away, and this continued for years. Thousands of blocks, I figure, big and small, always burrowing down deeper and deeper.

For me, the hardest blocks lay deep down. For me, the root was where the hardest wounds lay. And despite all of this, I was able to manifest truly remarkable opportunities in my life, and when I was ready, events have simply fallen into place. When I was ready to fund the next phase of my life after a collapse of the markets, I waited, keeping my wealth in assets I could relate to, which was real estate. Even though I saw half the value of my property evaporate, it also came back during a confluence of events when I was ready to make my next step. Wanting in truth to sell directly to a buyer instead of a realtor, my soon-to-be realtor cancels when she gets too busy with a market which suddenly was going crazy. Deciding to sign papers for representation in another three days, I’m contacted by a family who heard through the grapevine that I was going to list my house soon. They asked if they could buy it directly from me, an outcome which I had wished for in my heart. While taking a nap hours before I would speak to them on the phone, I see them in a meditative state, not knowing that they would be talking to me later that day. Before I was set to sign papers with my realtor for representation, they brought a contract. I was able to sell to a family who had loved my house for years and were having trouble even seeing homes because of how hot the market had heated up within months.

Now it might be a big question what this has to do with my work. What I have found is that as each block is removed, so too are the blocks to manifesting the events in my life that support what needs to come next. This isn’t for me about chasing wealth, but finding my own inner abundance, which is less about money as it is about opportunity and helping to make others lives better. There is so much feeling of loss and lack, and for years I too fell for this feeling. But often, the things I chased after weren’t the things that would have been good for me. That was why they were hard. What is easy comes like magic. These things emerge in perfect timing. Life is increasingly different as the years roll, and as the air clears. Life is more a series of serendipitous events that have purpose and flow, pushing some old block to the surface, or leading to the next step. Something bigger is in control. That might sound superstitious, but it’s not. As division falls away, there is a marriage of the small self with something larger within. This is about bridging the gap and clearing the way for this to happen, and it’s not done halfway or half-assed. How’s that for mystical musing?

Whatever it will be for you, getting out from underneath the tangles holding you back, is what brings the change. For now, the work continues, and who knows what is around the corner.

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I’m not going to blow smoke up your behind. I honestly cannot say where it comes from. I can’t even say if it originates in our neurochemistry or in interdimensional space. What I do know is that it figures in most every transformative event for people down through the ages.  Saints and sages all speak of it and in the world of awakenings, it’s presence is ubiquitous. You might even say it’s a prerequisite or initiation into awakening itself.

 

Im talking about the experience of “the light.” Most who have awakening experiences have had at least one encounter with it. In earliest Christianity they wrote about it, even connected it to the same light one sees when one dies, linking this encounter as critically important for attaining something more in this life of ours. What is clear is that whether you were Paul on his way to Damascus, or a monk meditating in a cave, getting hit by that blinding light is an important clue that awakening is here.

 

I experienced it in a completely unexpected way while meditating prior to the full “rise” of kundalini. When it happened, I actually thought someone had flipped the light switch, like playing a trick on me to get me to come out of the dark room I was in at the time. But no, there had been no switch flipping that day…at least no switches in the physical, that is…

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after my innocuous encounter with with the white light, things began changing real fast. I didn’t see events downstream as being connected, but over time, I have come to see it as one of several central events tied to my awakening. I think that to attain this light leads to what the ancients called the perfection of the Light Body, the Rainbow Body, or soul. In ancient texts an encounter with the white light is the demarcation point most often used to point out how a person’s life has changed. I should add that this is not, in my experience, an instantaneous cleansing, but an event that initiates a process of cleansing.

But here’s the thing. I can’t say for sure that it’s even really light. It may simply be an interpretation of an energetic emanation of some kind. It might even be connected to how we perceive. It might be inside of us all along. I say this because it feels like it is within. It does not feel like it’s coming from outside in the least. Perhaps this is a realization about our true nature as this light? I really cannot say. It is a bit of a mystery. Maybe it’s God, Maybe it’s an emanation from it. Maybe it’s my own connection to higher order awareness. What I can say is that while I am aware of it, I don’t feel anything particularly special at the time while I see this light effect. It seems to have had a healing effect, but more “downstream” from the light event itself. It remains a bit of a mystery in my experience, and I am loathe to jump to conclusions about what I think it is or isn’t.

What isn’t a mystery, though, is how this encounter has life changing effects.

Last night, on what can arguably be considered one of the coldest nights in years, I snuggled into bed with my cat purring by my side and after watching a documentary, slipped into a nice meditative state. I did this after feeling a bit of upset about something happening with a family member who is unable to understand something which I felt was important at the time. For some reason, it had me tied in knots. All the more reason to go into meditation and see if I could find resolution of one kind. So with eyes closed, I felt my energy begin to move, fluttering, spinning, and pulsing. The more I let go, the more it was free to simply be itself. My meditation nowadays tends to center around letting my energy body simply be itself without controls from the mind. Call it a surrender to the higher self, a larger order or picture of what is true. When I did, even though I had been tied in knots thinking about the world as it is, everything went by the wayside as a world of light effects began to take shape for the first time in years.

Since my encounter with the light, my experience has been largely one of sensation but without a visual compliment. No light effects. As I found myself very quickly in deep water, I prayed about the state of the world, my experience in it, and how I might resolve my feelings about it. That’s when the light came.

It was without form, but it felt as though it had layers and that these layers were unfolding from within, as though from my core a light was being generated and was propagating such that it had sheaves or orbs with different layers nested one inside the other. It was multilayered light. Suffusing it was this white light. I know I just said it had no form only to begin giving it form. It had the idea of form, but was not tied down to how form is linear and composed as it is in the physical. If something was in a center point, it was more the idea that this was so. In truth, I can’t adequately explain exactly how it appeared to me. It was at once no local while also having locality, shape, and form. Formlessness within form.

Was I being cleansed? Was it healing me? Was it a neurological effect? All I can say is that when I awoke, whatever feelings I had last night that weighed on me, they feel far away.

So here is what I am going to do. I’m going to see if I can repeat last night’s performance and try and place my unresolved feelings into the light, if it comes again, to see what happens. I will see if I can begin doing this on a regular basis to see how it works. I suppose if one believe in it enough, anything is possible. But humor me my experiments. I’ll report back on what I have found. And I also should include that it’s easy to say there has been a change 24 hours in. The story will probably be told after weeks or months. Only after seeing sustained change can we ever know that the change was real and not just wishful thinking.

In a sense, this is what awakening does anyway, which is to resolve blocked emotional material. In the healing method called Ho’oponopo, one offers up your brokenness to the universe in order to heal it. It is offering it up to a higher power. There are countless other methods for healing that are from many different traditions that all involve very similar methods, a “let go and let God” sort of idea.

I think it could be interesting…<3

They don’t tell you this in the sales brochure, but Awakening isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s you, marinating in some dank dark oil of your own indefinable misery as you tell yourself that this must be what they mean about “Shadow Work.” Sounded pretty innocuous at first glance. It didn’t stop you from rushing through that door, though, did it? And it hasn’t stopped you from reading this far.

It gets better. I promise.

Awakening for Westerners is proving to be it’s own unique kind of experience. In India, the culture has systems in place that have been developed over hundreds, even thousands, of years all for the purpose of preparing the individual for one thing: awakening. This is in a word, called yoga, a system with multiple rungs intended to somatically clear the naddis (our circuitry for prana) of stored emotional energy in preparation for the emergence of a stronger or higher energetic state which is called kundalini. The results, then, are different for those in India than for most Westerners (with every case being unique). I could say it’s good to prepare, but here we are, Westerners, blank slates where awakening is concerned, now thrust into this new life. It’s a birth that took only seconds in some cases where everything is changed…..irrevocably. Truth is, we haven’t a clue about the kind of prep needed for awakening. But then again, this preparation wasn’t a part of our culture unless you count accepting Christ as your savior or having a meditation practice.

It’s exciting to watch as it takes shape. It can also be a little terrifying. It’s because something quite large is within and it’s running the show. For as freaked out as I was those first few weeks, I came to realize that this force was not here to hurt me. It never has. It has always removed things that in the end really did me no good at all. I thought of it as a chef in the kitchen of my spiritual life, concocting solutions, changing the menu, setting things right. I learned to stay out of the way, watching a master at work.

I lost really important relationships. I was crushed by a woman I was married to and had children with who sought to turn my children against me. It never hurts nearly as much as when they succeed, though. I was taught that some things just aren’t my own, and never were. I was just there, and it could have been anybody, really, the same scenario was going to play out for them. I saw the kitchen door open as the chef showed me the back door. He whispered, “It will be safer for you this way.”

There is hurt, happiness, fear, joy, loneliness, love, and longing. It’s all lit up, incandescent, at least for a time, so you can see your issues and foibles and learn to let them go. Since the truth is that material things don’t ever buy authentic happiness, the shift is into real often “lonely ” joy. It’s this solitary joy that is like entering the Holy of Holies. It is what dying is like, too, which is surprising when death comes because it’s such an expansive process rather than the dark ending that our worst fears promulgate. It grows in freedom the further you go along with it. It has a swirling beauty that is sensual and orgasmic. It is, of course, nothing like the Southern Baptist minister said it would be like. It’s clear that you are blissful now for no reason except that this is what you know about yourself, and it’s unbelievably beautiful. You feel this way because of this realization that woke you and opened you to your true nature as a child of the one great Light.

Even as you know this, you go through bliss to misery, sometimes many time in a day, a sure sign that your buried bones in your subconscious are still there, rattling away, killing the thrill of your “be here now moment.” You wake up one day and you feel paralyzed. Unable to move. The next day, the energy is leaping around the room and you hear voices or see shapes, or angels in the wee hours, or a hundred other amazingly wonderful things. On this day you are a golden goddess or a god,but you do wonder when it will turn to rust. But wait long enough, and you suspect you will be on that train to Paradise yet again. Something in you screams that there is a reason for this rapid cycling, and you’d be right. You make a new promise to let the energy penetrate as deeply as it can, next time, even if it does uncover acts and feelings you are ashamed of or that you have loathed secretly about yourself for years. As a Westerner, you probably have to be brought to the furthest edge of your misery before you are howling in the night, praying for it to come take you from your fucked up madness. And it does. Honestly, this is how souls are saved more often than we would like to admit.

One morning you might look in the mirror and forget for a few seconds who you even are. The disorientation itself is enough to keep your brow furrowed. You might worry that it might be a brain tumor but you think, “No, I’ll just wait” because you dont want to tip your hat to the world that you might be hip deep in a shit creek. Sure enough, it passes, but you get a feel for what a real brain tumor might be like and tell yourself that you’ll have to give to cancer research because what you just experienced was its own special version of a bad morning discovery.

You are visited by angels even as you are haunted by your demons. Its how this is for us; we didn’t prepare. We come to awakening dirty as sin while standing in the temple of our greater spiritual light. Lucky for us, this light is just so glad we managed to show up. There is a bit of muddy water until we begin to get washed clean. It goes on for years, really, but you can’t help but clean a dirty garment of its filth when you live in the water of life.

Over time, and in direct proportion to the amount of material you have released (It’s all repressed emotion from one traumatic event in your life to another), it gets easier. Turbulent intense sexual energy refines into finer vibration. It’s smoother. There are fewer stones in the road. It all takes time, dedication, and a willingness to just let go. What feeds your purpose stays, what doesn’t, goes. The pendulum swings aren’t as great as they were before. You don’t transit from heaven into hell and back again from one day to the next. Swings come, they just aren’t as destructive as they seemed before. We each have much to learn from each other who are going through this trial by fire and water.

It’s just your baggage. Seems you can’t be in heaven with it, so we learn how not to accumulate it here. And awakening is the magical elixir that makes it possible to heal the impossible. It loosens your grip, allows you to fall, it let’s you see that there is nothing except this feeling which is a version of what the great Light feels. It too was once lonely, and it speaks through the very light of awakening in as unobtrusive way as it possibly can. It wants to be with us if we can let it in. Its like how the Egyptian god weighed hearts using the feather as the measure. It isnt that you are damned if you have a heavy heart; you just cant feel or be aware of heaven without that lightness of being. Which of course begs and answers the question all at once that heaven is a state of mind and not a silly tale about a gated community somewhere.

The earthly self is one rung on this ladder into heaven. The Higher self is the second rung. From there, ever higher rungs lead us back into our ancestry, our origins, back to a less complicated way of being, and back to something we call God (note to self: no description can ever describe it).

It gets better. You get to be whoever, but perhaps more importantly however you want…. just as long as it’s your highest. Anything else will always be hard. What is easy is the flow. I know; Westerners look at flow and think “lazy ” but this is in truth learning to partner with physical reality to bring about the manifestation of important events that reveal a hitherto unknown quality for consciousness to join with the physical universe to make small and big miracles happen.

Whoah! That was fricken incomprehensible!

How about this: we are suddenly magical and can make miracles happen when its needed. It’s just co-creation and it has everything to do with how you feel and how your mind has been unleashed. Yes, it gets easier. It takes dedication and a lot of self honesty. This is turning the light back on yourself. What do you see? Yeah, shadow work.

It is lonely. It’s lonely realizing how everyone is caught up in a world that has very little to do with what is here on this planet, or that matters. Sure, you can get people to care so long as you tie it to a 5k Run for charity or you can create a slick meme you post on social media so it gets gobbled up and digested for a few moments. You wonder how anyone wakes up at all.

Can you see how our desire has been eating our planet alive? Car trips spewing carbon just so we can satisfy our desire to see someone we love,or to go to jobs, to do all the things we say and see as important. Plane trips to visit coral reefs in decline. An addiction to plastic that makes eating our Little Debbies so much more convenient but also gets into our rivers and lakes as microplastic, disrupting the guts of fish and their endocrine systems. Yeah. Big buzz kill, right?

The shape of our desire has forced us to live easy but it comes with a price. Again, buzz kill, but it’s true. People who want things so they can feel a certain way….cars, houses, and relationships. We marry so we won’t be alone. We have children because we don’t want to die alone. We buy nice things sometimes to scare away a deeper sense of poverty or fear that we aren’t good enough. Once in a great while we get really honest about what is motivating us, but we usually want what we want. We will take dying rainforests and bleaching coral reefs just to get those Little Debbies and lifestyles born of a desire that is killing our world. And there you sit, on your own, watching this giant pooping machine of hunger turn and move. You are, afterall, a part of it, too, but maybe a little more aware of what’s going on because a channel was opened in you that let you feel the connection everything has with everything else as you can’t help but feel a sacredness about it which leads to grace. But it still won’t change unless we are it’s harbinger, it’s mover, it’s shaker, it’s champion. The loneliness might also come from knowing that the life of desire, the shape of desire as we know it now on average, is coming to an end as it pertains to what we think will make us happy…

Nothing, though, brings as much exquisite….feeling…than the energy in awakening, simply resting in the heart of the divine. And that too is a challenge because it washes away desire for the things of this world. Is it any wonder we demonized it back in the garden by calling it a deceiver who brings knowledge? But still, I challenge you to find anything as incredible as the light which confers a standing wave of orgasmic ecstasy pulsing through every level of body, mind, heart, and soul for days-months-at a time.

It does get better, but it’s a new world. Maybe we need this so badly that it’s coming the way it is…to people nearly unbidden and woefully unprepared. It’s a new orientation, a new world, if we can take it.

Namasté ❤

Have you ever had an experience so different from anything that it brought the very foundation of what you thought the world was about into question? It turns out that experiences such as these are the stuff of which new movements are born. Great inspired people who have been struck by cosmic lightening have often gone on to teach, to make big impressions on others with what is authentic in human experience. What follows after people like this are institutions such as governments and religions. The problem with religion is that it turns a movement into a static entity, essentially a moment frozen in time. The problem with this is that our progress spiritually is gauged by what someone said thousands of years ago. Different languages, many people telling the story, taking different parts and emphasizing them. In such a situation as this, things often get lost. No one wants to admit it, but even in relying on anothers’ experience, we are naturally trying to see it all through their lenses.

 

When I went through my awakening in 2007, I had no idea what had happened to me. I was just recenly talking to a friend in my town who also went through awakening, and I was saying how it went completely over my head even though I had bought a book on the subject when I was 15. Even then, it was hard to draw any comparison. That is just how unique this experience is, and bewildering, too.

 

What makes my awakening interesting was how early Christianity figured into my discovering what I had. I didn’t learn about it like most people do from Vedic texts or the Upanishads, or from Buddhism of one stripe or another. I made my discovery after publishing  some writing online about my experience. It turned out that a reader who had a background in seminary said that there were passages in my writing that sounded just like the Gospel of Thomas. “The Gospel of Who?” I asked incredulously. He went on to explain about a recent discovery of previously unknown gospels and he suggested I take a look. I, of course, took a look.

I came away from that experience, once I picked up my jaw off the floor, beginning to read more widely the books in the Nag Hammadi Library, which is where  The  Gospel of Thomas is found.
I began to see that these books were describing in detail all facets of the awakening experience. I began to read in the canonical gospels and wondered why there was such a disparity in the content. More or less orthodox Christians will say that these books represent a heretical branch in the Christian tree, not true mainline thought.  But how could it be, I wondered, that these heretical books were describing in lush detail the facets of my experience so well? And how was it that the canonical gospels lacked this information?

To learn this I had to embark on a journey into the history of Christianity and look in places most people don’t think to look. After studying language issues, dating issues, and the canonical gospels structure and where earliest Christianity began to emerge, I found that something was not quite right. To understand what I mean, I looked at the work of a linguist and scholar in the field of religion who uncovered something rather startling about earliest Christianity.

A religious scholar named Baer did a survey of the countries that had the earliest Christian presence and he found that it was the heretical teachings and the language associated with them that got there first. In most cases, orthodoxy was the late-coming movement. Something was beginning to come into focus that I had never dared consider, but made perfect sense; the original Christianity was a very different thing from what it was turned into once Rome began to support Christianity as a religion.

But something else bears mentioning, which is how Rome created its own spin on the doctrine or teachings of Jesus. Rome won out as the defacto  center for Christian thought because of its wealth in resources: educated scribes, money, and political power to back it all up. Constantinople, which was an early church center, lost out as the seat or center for the church.  In telling history, it is the victor who gives their version. This most certainly happened in Constantine’s Rome, but it was a movement that had already been three hundred years or more in the making before the Church was institutionalized. There was an interesting history in those years between 100 A.D. and 340 A.D., and in looking at the writing of historians of that time, I began to see that a certain strain of thinking was gradually weeded out. No, it did not all come at once, but a community of thinkers who would call themselves “Orthodox” grew and gained momentum. They didn’t grow in momentum because they were right, they grew because they had might.

 

There are are things we can never know in our history of Christianity. One thing is certain, however, and that is that the deepest secrets were the ones saved for the “elect” and books were destroyed in order to hide the existence of what was once described by an early Bishop of the Church as the “heirophantic teachings” of Jesus Christ. While some roll their eyes at the notion of anyone taking such a statement seriously, I consider such mentions are incredibly important. As I delved deeper, I saw a schism between those who described the secret teaching Jesus did with his inner circle and those who claim that Jesus was always making his teaching open to everyone. This latter notion has showed itself to be a fairy tale, a bit of wishful thinking for a host of reasons.

 

First, consider that Jesus was Jewish. Rome and the Jews were not allied, but were occupied. Jews chafed at Roman rule. Not long after Jesus’s death, Rome sacked the Jewish temple and took everything in it out. The temple was just….gone. Jesus, being Jewish, had to be careful about his teaching. He hid his teaching behind parables because in many cases,there were Roman Centurions standing guard along the periphery of some of his meetings that were in public. The early historians wrote about the importance of reading those teachings which Jesus gave in secret (Origen). Valentinian, who spoke to one of Paul’s students developed a system of teaching what Jesus taught that was a tiered system that gradually brought the follower deeper into the innermost teachings, which were described as like the Holy of Holies.  Once that person had been suitably prepared, educated, or were “mature” enough to get the “Innermost” teachings which were given in secret, they were given access to these teachings. In the Nag Hammadi Jesus is quoted as saying that he speaks to the crowd in code, but speaks “directly” to his disciples when in private. Jesus had even warned his disciples about knowing what I call the “who, what, when” doctrine when he said to not cast your pearls before swine, lest they be trampled underfoot….and then set upon you and trample you as well! If this isn’t an obvious argument for secret teaching, I don’t know what is. Not all seeds sown will take root; let those who have ears hear! Jesus explained very clearly that you had to be careful who you said what to. Even Jesus was seen speaking in code in public….how is it that this is so hard for people to understand that, yes, he did have teachings that were kept away from public view. If you take the teachings he conveyed in all gospels, including Thomas and Phillip, it becomes clear that he is doing more than just setting out a code of behavior, he was providing the very keys to a radical transformation to occur within each person who knew how to “put on” this form of awarenesss. With governments perennially concerned about its populace becoming too empowered, such teachings could easily be viewed as a threat. Origen, the first century Christian philosopher and historian, pointed out that if you wanted to get to the meaty parts of Jesus’s teachings, you had to see where he is  teaching followers in private, away from the crowds. This was how revolutionary these teachings were.

I suspect that the “secret” parts were kept secret because they would have been considered blasphemy by those who had not been initiated into its mysteries.  This secret part involved a masculine and feminine aspect of the deity which,  when brought into full union within ones awareness, creates a state of pure ecstasy in the individual who is then experiencing this divine reality.  It was nothing short of flipping a switch inside ones own inner consciousness, a hitherto unknown capacity in each person for glimpsing, then experiencing a full-on union with the divine. Who then would dare to speak openly about what was described as a sacred event that occurred in a place in the soul that was called the bridal chamber?  This was how this union was described, folks! Two forces in consciousness were drawn together and when merged, formed another consciousness that changed everything; this was the Christ Consciousness. In Phillip he explains how the father and mother came down and entered the bridal chamber (the place where they embraced or became one) and on that day, he says, the Christ emerged from out of the bridal chamber! But what is he saying here? He is saying that inside each person we have a bridal chamber; this is an event that happens inside of us: “The kingdom is within.” This bridal chamber was not a physical place but was a way of describing how two opposite elements came into a mysterious form of sacred union that had no other equal save for sacred sexuality. To say that divine awareness might involve an ecstasy so powerful that the only comparable experience is a persistent orgasmic state would be enough to send the temple priests calling for the heads of the people so describing it. Utterly revolutionary! It was also utterly denied, refused in the canonical gospels. But aren’t the canonical gospels…..the gospel? Aren’t we taught to believe that the mainline gospels are the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Biblical scholars now suspect that the gospels were in fact not written, as they exist today, by the disciples they were purported to have been attributed to for a number of reasons. First, their structure is not consistent with itinerant fishermen, many of whom were illiterate. They are so sophisticated in how they are written that scholars see writers who already know how to produce great literature. Scholars also suspect that each of the four gospels were using another source, now unknown, from which to draw from which they call “Q.” In John Atwells recent book Caesars Messiah, the author puts forth a compelling argument for how Roman elites hired a Jewish historian, Josephus, to help them craft the gospels that we know today. Drawn from Biblical sources, this appears to be an effort to dampen the power of Christianity by removing the more empowering parts from the narrative. For the most devout, Atwell’s work will seem an effort at attacking Christianity, but when taken together with everything we now know from numerous other sources, it becomes harder to dismisss that something happened during those early years when it was becoming apparent that Christianity was here to stay. For a Roman elite, it would have been hard for them to grasp the importance that a trinity based in the father-mother-child (or Christ) had in Jesus’s teachings. Whoever wrote the gospels, they were literalists. Whoever wrote Thomas and Phillip, they had a firm grasp on the esoteric nuance of divine union and all that it entailed.

 

The great impedement for so many is is being able to conceive that any of this could be compared to anything like sex. But this is what the soul feels when it is in union with its source, it’s maker, it’s creator. The secret is that orgasmic energy may well be just the kind of creative motive force capable of creating new life, of begetting new souls, and resurrecting the dead ones. But unlike physical sex or orgasmic ecstasy, union with the divine is clear, without a need to engage in the physical act in order to feel the swirling eddies of bliss on a spiritual and energetic level. Initiates into this mystery discover that this is the very nature of our divine spark. This bliss is our true nature. This true nature returns us, heals us, straightens us simply because you can’t know it unless you have been carefully prepared.

But didn’t my awakening happen more or less spontaneously? In a manner, yes, but I did do certain things that triggered it. I don’t need to go into those now, but what I did was described by the Jesus found in both Thomas and in Philip’s gospels. It is the very essence or foundation upon which all awakenings are initiated or catalyzed.

Knowing this, and knowing the substance of my awakening, I knew that I had lept far beyond the conceptualizations made by others who followed along later in the Orthodox lineage. A lot is assumed, most namely what Jesus meant when he spoke of chastity or adultery. Most followers think he was teaching against being sinful. He was, but it is clear that when Jesus spoke of adultery, he spoke of not being true to ones own inner godliness,  not turning away from ones true nature, which is the kingdom within. Doing so was like adultery, or serving two masters.  I ask, what better term to describe being untrue to the divine within? Even Paul used these terms in the same way, explaining one should not consort with prostitutes, but he was not speaking about people who charge money for sex, but people who have sold themselves to that which is not true or not having to do with the indwelling Christ consciousness. It was not about sex, it was about turning from that which can save each of us; awakening does exactly that. It purifies, ressurects, and makes the crooked in us straight. But a tide of literalists followed along who seemed to have no idea whatsoever what was being described. But how can you describe such a thing that is not of this world? The answer is, “the best way that you can.” So I ask you you, did Jesus ever say the kingdom was a mustard seed, or that it was a treasure buried in a field? No. He said it is “like.” And that is important because nowhere does Jesus say it “is” because you can’t get there using 3-D words or thinking. Truth is, you can’t describe something so revolutionary and as outside our context of present physical life with mere words. And yet,they tried. All teachers do. At the end of the day, you simply must experience it for yourself. This is why those who have no experience with awakening will criticize and distort it beyond all truth with such phrases as demonic possession and not of God. Kundalini was precisely what Jesus was describing using a vocabulary that used different words, but the exact same structure and descriptions, all of which are analogs to the Hindu and Taoist traditions. I know because I have experienced it. I know it’s symptoms, it’s effects and outcomes, and they are all the same except for the languages used. To compound all of this,  they hid or destroyed books, proclaiming to all that they were heretical. They took some books and did not accept others as cannon. The Gospel of Thomas and the gospel of Philip  we’re both hidden away for centuries because they contained the very marrow of the secret teachings of the Christ and they struck those who were “dead” in their spirit as strange teachings. Furthermore, in Philip he makes clear that Jesus was seeking not just followers but people who could themselves become  Christ’s. This stands against orthodoxy but is what happens to each person who awakens; they realize the Christ consciousness that is with in them.

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I have observed that dietary changes is a natural result of listening to your body and feeling where it’s needing you to go in regards to diet. I feel that in awakening your body will absolutely let you know. In fact, some of it will feel automatic at times. Have you noticed this? You wonder for hours on end what you should be eating to help assist matters only to find you have a dream, a sudden craving, or some other odd synchronistic event and blam! Problem solved!

I’ve discussed foods and how they are known to impact your energy by working with the body, so I won’t go into that here now. But what I will share with you is how I discovered, during my “dark night of the soul” a spice that helped a LOT. It still has an impact on me, and I hope it helps you, too. Drum roll, please:

INDIAN CURRY.

I will say that curry hasn’t been a favorite of mine, at least not historically, so it took experimenting and cooking with some inspired friends who really like curry to get in the groove. I think its what you are used to eating. If you have children, trycooking with light amounts of curry; they will likely not like it at first if they are used to traditional Western cooking, but they might find themselves coming to like it better later on.

I really like Thai curries….red, green..all of it…but they don’t do the same for me what Indian curry does. Madras curry is known as the hottest, and curry, being a blend, really varies on who is doing the blending! Today, curry powder may include cloves, cardamon, ginger, nutmeg, fennel, caraway, ajowan seeds, dried basil, mustard seeds, mace, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, saffron or cinnamon. The mix depends on the cook. Curry recipes can be found in the cuisines of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand and the Caribbean. It might be me, my body, and my energy, but it’s also worth a try to consider the Thai curries. I like trying to use it in unique ways as well as in recipes that are traditionally Indian. I’m currently dreaming up some soups to try it in once cold weather sets in here. I’ll also be living with a vegetarian soon, which will encourage me to try this spice melange in interesting new ways without meat as such a steady base. And the great thing is that curry adds such richness that it’s a wonderful compliment to vegetarian cooking.

Curry is a spice that actually is a blend of a handful of spices, so if you find your tastebuds telling you that what you are tasting is complex, then you are catching on. I like to play with its pairing with sweet and savory as a way to use it to it’s fullest advantage, from mild to strong depending on mood, want, or mere adventure.

I have found that the hottest Indian curry wasn’t very hot at all, the chillies added were what made the hot Indian dishes so spicy. But its possible to get curry that is very hot, my lical grocery doesnt have versions that have been exriciating at all (you need the Thai curries for that, or a curry blend with a lot of chillies in it). I’m lucky because I have two very good Asian markets in my area for good supplies when needed, and lots of locals whose brains I can pick for ideas for traditional uses for curry.

So give it a try, but let me know what you think! And if you have already delved into curry and love to cook, I’d be interested in hearing what your favorites are. I know I haven’t given direction on how much curry to use. I feel that flavoring with spices is best left to your taste as you go along. Strong or light? Only you will know!

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My morning window view

 

 

It comes in the unexpected moments,

with lack of guard

the inbetween

where the barrier to it falls

the heart melts

the self is returned to its primordial state

a glimpse

that returns again and again

until the brilliant flash fills and alters

changing you forever.

 

 

It isn’t worth wasting it

on anything but wonder

this sovereign moment

that owns itself

turning you over to a higher ❤️

a force that

forges you

bending the crooked

straightening,

cleansing,

purifying…

 

It can come at any time

especially when you least expect it…

making a lover of you.

In the work of awakening, the great stumbling blocks we encounter are the things we resist. And what you resist is what persists.

The road to wholeness and happiness is in the singular awareness that no matter what troubles you in your life, it all comes down to an inner resistance deep within. It does not seem that way when we get upset by the events and people in our lives that upset us, but what’s unsettling you is an inability to see and respond to things as they are. When you are able to see things as they are, without your own inner dialog running, you can much more easily accept that things are happening not to unseat you from your bliss, but that you are resisting the world as it is. You probably wont change the world, but you can change yourself, which is what inspires others to want to change, and many people all doing this in their own back yards helps to sow seeds of change. People have their own reasons for doing what they do that most often has nothing at all to do with you, but is more a story all their own. When you can honestly give them real space to be, resistance ends and we can accept that none of what upsets us is personal. We choose to be hurt. We choose to be angry. Most often, we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel in each moment, though. This is resistance. Expect the feeling to persist many times each day. Or you can let it go. Was it really so important to your ego. Really?

All the great teachers taught how important it was to chang the mind. Even Jesus did so. Jesus is often thought to have used the word “repent” as the key term for shifting the tide, but he (along with John the Baptist) actually used the word Metanoia, which means to change ones mind. Call it a translational error, but if you ask me, its a significant clarification that really casts more of Jesus teaching in a new light. But I digress. The point is that all of the great teacher saw, experienced, and knew that we all have a capacity to remove thinking of one kind much the same way a mask of thinking or believing is removed (often with the effect of revealing a deeper layer of being and thinking that’s more original to our nature in the process).

So I ask you, how do you see things differently? It is all in how you choose to see it—the power is in your mind! Choose a different conclusion, choose a different assumption. It only seems hard if you have never tried.

How many times did you have something happen where you assumed an outcome that was completely wrong once you learned more about it later? We make all kinds of assumptions that are based more on who we are rather than how things are in the world. I have seen myself do this more times than I care to admit. But I do learn from them when they happen. It’s done by reflecting on events from the past and assuming the events are following the same pattern, but nothing is ever quite the way we think it is, especially from the past and how we have responded to it emotionally as we color it the way it suits us.

Now what if you could rewind the tape and assume differently using a whole different mindset? Maybe you try not to judge anything until you speak to the people involved, or until you check your messages, or gather more information. All of this behavior I’m describing says nothing about the world, it’s only saying something about you. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of similar assumptions before. Maybe you know what it’s like to have someone do that, completely convinced of the utterly fallacious script running in their heads, right? So change it on your end and it will be one less person doing this. Your greatest gift is who you are. What kind of you do you want to be?

I was once told a dream this guy had. It illustrates resistance and acceptance so well. In the dream, my friend would encounter werewolves. This dream would happen over and over. It bugged him. These werewolves would show up as these slobbering wild men who would transform into these beasts, menacing and chasing him all night long. It was really getting old and he needed a solution to this nighttime delimna.

One night my friend was in his dream and he saw these men coming through the woods. They had just transformed and came rushing up at him. The chief werewolf got up in his face. He was still wearing, of all things, his sunglasses! As my friend looked closely, he could see his reflection in the glasses. What he saw surprised him; he could see that he too was a werewolf! He could see his own teeth gleaming in the reflection as the other werewolf smiled with a grimacing set of teeth. My friend, realizing all of this, gave a chuckle and took off with the pack, howling and running like the wild things that they were. Oh, and after that, my friend no longer had another werewolf dream.

I can’t speak for him, but I think one thing is clear; our dreamer was resisting something about himself which morphed into fear and scary dreams about an aspect of himself he had been resisting. Once he accepted it, he integrated it into himself, making it a conscious (rather than subconscious) part of himself. Maybe he was afraid of what it might mean if he was a werewolf. But instead, accepting it freed him of fear and the trouble it caused and he saw these werewolves were all just out having a grand old time. He learned, I think, that what he resisted wasn’t about what he thought at all. He integrated or accepted it, and thus was free.

So for our dreamer it might have been fear of his wild side. For you, it might be something else. It could be any sort of fear that drives you…and very often these issues come down to fear of some kind. A fearless person is calm, gentle, easy in themselves. They dont jump to conclusions. Maybe you fear a seemingly thoughtless person. But let me ask; if they are being thoughtless, how could it be that they are being this way just to upset little old you? Let it be, give it acceptance, maybe see that it was in you all along, and you will see it all melt or fall away like a house of cards. It means being willing to change your mind, to change how you see it. Then, poof, like magic, it evaporates and any negative charge it had is gone because you changed it. This is the essence of all clearing of the consciousness to help reveal the true self shining within. And this self is more free to express itself. Energy moves more freely when you are not so resistant to an aspect of yourself that remains unhealed. You are, afterall, a conduit for an energy that was called “the water of life.”

“Be like water, my friend.” —Bruce Lee

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Recently I wrote about my experiences with moving through time. I know it may wind up sounding like a boast, so I am going to provide you with some current insights that I feel confident will be verified very soon, a process already underway that will soon get very loud. You get to be the judge to see if I am right.

 

 

To lay this out, let me explain that for the last number of years I have been seeing clearly that there will be an “event” that will affect how we do business forever. My seeing has shown me that this would affect currency specifically, and I have studied alternative stores of value such as silver and gold because my common sense tells me that this would be what happens when currencies go in the tank. As I began studying these stores of wealth I found that physical silver and gold have been heavily manipulated by the big commercial banks such as JP Morgan and Goldman. The purpose of the manipulation has been to suppress the price of silver and to an extent gold. Silver has been suppressed through the massive contracts written by these banks which always short silver. These “shorts” amount to a bet that silver will continue to be low in price….and because JP Morgan has made this bet, the paper contracts flooding the market everyday has sent a signal in the market that silver is not a safe bet, which drives or keeps silver low. In fact, silver has been artificially kept low well below its proportion historically to gold. And why? This is being done in order to trick the market into creating artificially low valuations for silver so these banks can then buy massive amounts of physical silver which they have been taking possession of. This should be illegal, but it isn’t. It is one loophole that the banks can get away with legally. They write cheap contracts shorting silver and then they turn around and buy the physical silver to keep. To understand what we are talking about, we are talking silver in the order of millions of tonnes. Yes, really.

 

 

To see how bad this has been, one bank wrote an order for silver more than the yearly output of one of them largest silver producers in the world; Peru. Imagine the greed involved here. Banks are buying up as much as they can so they can benefit the most when they decide to let loose their grip on the metal and it’s current price (which is artificially low). But this is only the side story, so hold on.

 

 

For the last three years I have been seeing this event coming down the pike,and it’s a biggie from what my intuition is telling me. My wealth, which was exclusively tied up in real estate, was a real concern for me. I knew that if I didn’t sell my home and get liquid, I would miss this opportunity. My senses tell me this is a once in a lifetime event. It’s just that big. My guidance has been saying that this was tied to the devaluation of the dollar, and as I studied up on currencies, I saw that sure enough, the massive printing of money that took place over the last ten years especially, has shot a hole through the dollar. Remember “qualitative easing”? Yeah, nice term that has rendered the dollar worth less and less. Thing is, both the government and the Fed knows what effect this printing has on the value of the dollar, but they don’t care. It means everything is more expensive because your dollar is worth pennies compared to what it was worth a generation ago. If you make something ubiquitous, it loses value. If you could manufacture gold out of thin air, how long do you think gold would be of any value. It has value based on its rarity. So naturally, I thought that there was never a better opportunity to get into precious metals, which always spike when currencies go through a downward spiral. I had to sell my home if I was to be liquid enough to take advantage of this coming shift. And all events conspired in really the most amazing of ways to see that this would happen. It is a story in and of itself that is quite hard to wrap your head around, but is an example of how the right things will happen at just the right time for our benefit. I felt like I was squeezing in under the line when values for homes were at all time highs again, but just ahead of this very strange event that could leave people hurting if they were in the wrong place with their investments.

 

So a few months ago I sell my home, I begin looking at silver, and an odd thing happens. I feel a pause. My inner guidance is saying “It’s like silver, but it’s not silver….it’s way better than silver will ever be.” What the heck? What could this be, I wondered? So I began looking to see if I could find something that fit the bill. I was led out of real money and even hard assets as we think of them. What I found was the world of crypto currencies. Now hang on, because I want to explain something that my guidance is telling me is the decisive factor for why cryptos will be so big. They are a store of wealth that cannot be manipulated the way silver is currently being manipulated. And silver is definitely being manipulated big time, and who knows when the banks will lose their grip on silver. When they do, silver will go parabolic with valuations going from $16-20.00 an ounce to upwards of $200.00 an ounce and possibly higher. But who knows when this manipulation will end, right? My senses were saying this event is taking place now, and it sure doesn’t look like silver is at all involved.

 

 

So I learn all I can about these cryptos. And there it is…gains in the thousands of percent. Coins “minted” that are offered for pennies that go to hundreds of dollars. This is the kind of investing power I was seeing in my mind. Crypto currencies are entirely side stepping physical silver and gold and essentially saying “We are the new store of wealth” and giving the system a big middle finger in the process. The more I read, the more I felt convinced that this was it. Everything is now in place for the system to drive these investments into the stratosphere. That said, these stores of wealth will be volatile and they will be a roller coaster. They will go higher partly because they are an entirely new idea in its early stages and because so many people will ignore them or not see their true hidden potential. This is the kind of investment you will have to put away and ignore for a bit, unshaken by the tremendous highs and then lows they will take you on. But they will trend upwards and those who get in when the prices are low will be the ones to benefit the most. I suspect that within a matter of a couple of years another event will come along to normalize crypto currencies, such as the Fed/IMF (they are now the same if you haven’t heard…a real cause for concern btw) by I think either creating new regulation that slows their growth or by their issuing their own crypto currencies (euro and US crypto currencies). Before this happens, it’s the Wild West for investors and I suspect that its a small window in terms of time.

 

 

Im not here to give you investing advice. I am communicating what I have seen in my own experience as a way to help prove a point, which is that it is possible to carefully listen to your instincts once you have done enough inner work to leave the channel clear or open for this kind of guidance or inner clarity to exist. This is available to all of us and I’m sticking my neck out here since I will begin to invest in these currencies in the next few days, starting with Bitcoin, then using Bitcoin to buy into a whole field of small and big currencies. We will see how Litecoin goes, along with the new offerings that will take place in the next few months.

 

In the last week, all signs are that the experts in the field are saying very positive things for the next few months. While I cannot educate you about the block chain and how these coins exist or how most safely to store them, there are resources out there that can. Yes, this is a radically new idea, but it is built on a very old idea not unlike a contract. It’s just a piece of paper with words or numbers to identify the buyer and seller or the holder of an asset. With fiat currency taken off the gold standard in the early seventies, money itself has been little more than a crypto currency in a way. When we use a debit card, this is not unlike a crypto currency in that nothing physical except dots and dashes are being exchanged between devices…and yet you buy gas with these dots and dashes and you even pay your mortgage with it. Welcome to the crypto world. Except with crypto, it is meant to be by the people for the people, instead of a system that is controlled or manipulated by large banking interests. More and more crypto currencies are being made with algorithms built into them to keep them from being manipulated in more traditional ways. It’s moving so fast most of the banks aren’t able to keep up. I suspect it has taken the likes of JP and Golden by surprise. And who knows, maybe silver makes a surprise move, but I’m not going to wait for it. This event, if I am right, will happen with lightening speed and there is still time to get in early if you can stomach it.

 

While doing some research on another topic on religion for an upcoming post I had the following YouTube video pop up that has nothing to do with my recent activity on YouTube, which has been on crypto currencies. All of my cookies concerning cryptos are all done on a different device, so to have a video by a top predictive analyst like Cliff High is a bit odd. Let me explain that Cliff has discovered that he can predict events before they happen due to what he has found as a subconscious anticipation on everyone’s part of future events. This guy did predictive work for Microsoft for a number of years and he has tended to have a pretty good track record. He has managed to predict a number of market moves not based on normal analytics except watching his predictive patterns he is now known for. While the video I am going. To share with you sounds more rosy than what will likely happen, I feel it will be the closest at describing what this event will be like. It will be, I suspect, a transfer of wealth or the creation of entirely new value where it had not existed before. And it’s huge and hard to believe at first. It helps to know how right Cliff has been in order to understand how he is able to peer into the future for folks now that he is on his own and not bound by confidentiality agreements. That it’s popping up as I go to write this today is nothing short of wild. Here is the video:

 

It’s a curious fact that I haven’t stayed in this one place the whole of my life. I do seem to move through what we call time, but time as we think of it isn’t the whole story.

I have broken with the rules laid down by physics and travelled away from this time into the future, the past, and it’s all been quite easy. In fact, I began doing this as a little boy. I didn’t know how I did it, except that it took place effortlessly. I didn’t even think about it something about it suited me. The reason why I am telling this unusual story is because I know that it’s in everyone, and I hope that my words can serve as a reminder.

I often think that I’ve been doing it for a very long time…lifetimes, even. For whatever reason, I seem to have chosen to be this way, to be less glued to the spot. It isnt that I dont know how to “be here now” but rather, no matter where you go—there you are. It comes with its drawbacks, which is that it comes with a mind that knows how to wander within itself.

You might not know this, but this is the first requisite for time travel. It sure has been hard, though, because everyone sees me as spacy. So glued, so nailed down to one line of thought, people react funny to a wanderer like me. But just like John Muir once said, “All who wander are not lost. It’s very was to assume that you know how another person feels or experiences by judging based on your own exprience. Far from spacy, I find my wandering to be like a wonder-filled landscape filled with emanations of spirit, like feeling the pulse of the multiverse. In fact, my thoughts are really quite pristine, it’s just that they aren’t thoughts like many tend to think of them. And really, I don’t think it’s much use explaining what this even means when there’s no common language between us. I do wish you could experience it. Otherwise if I described it, you might think I’m crazy, weird, or just….spacy. Perspective is everything I suppose. That, or maybe just experience.

I do know that in a past life the self I was peered into a future life, which is my life today. Jus as I looked forward from the past, I was peering from the future into the past. Based on my research into that life, this took place just before my lifetime as a freed slave after Emancipation. This put me in the earlier part of the 1800’s.

It wasn’t a long life. I was shot with a round lead bullet while trying to steal the horses belonging to white army officers. It was like being hit with a hammer. It didn’t go into my heart, but into my left side. I died from fever days after. I was Native American.

I had a vision in that life when I went into the mountains to pray about the atom bomb that was going off that was the result of contacts with Whites. It was a hard time. Worried, I went into the mountains to pray. Instead of great insight, I was pretty much told by a Thunder Being in the vision that it was “game over” for my people. The being went on to tell me about a day in the future when I would be reborn as a new person, this time White, at a time when the earth would be sick and be in need of “cleansing.” For a period of a week I had several “warps” in time where I saw his life events and he apparently saw mine. The curious thing about all of this was that instead of this being a memory, it was more a visitation, a trading of places. What I realize was that this was all negotiated or mediated by my higher self. A doorway opened up that Saturday evening that I could feel. Like Neo noticing the mirror in the room, I was about to tumble down the rabbit hole. It’s funny because I think my higher self is in many ways just as mobile as many of my past lives have been. Probably moreso. Most certainly so.

Because these memories are so vivid and detailed, I have been able to identify the time, sometimes the people if they were well enough known in our history. I had heard the language of the culture and I was able to track them down…in a sense. I was able to find that the culture was from California and had been displaced, absorbed into the Paiute tribe where most that was known about the language was lost.

This begs the question how I was able to find the culture based on a language that was dead? In a tribal meeting I was told that I should remember who I was. The old man pointed to my chest, emphasizing a word that turned out to be the name of the people. The name was what had survived, and for the purposes of finding the culture, my higher self knew that this conversation would serve as lock and key to understanding the historical importance of this memory.

I went on to research the archives of the Army stationed near Yosemite where I once lived. I found a description of a raid on the fort where a small group of natives rode out into the open in a brazen attempt to steal horses. Two were shot of the five or so men with everyone getting away. This was precisely the scenario I remembered during the week where the door to the past opened to me. In fact, as I lay dying from a septic wound, I came down with one of the worst fevers in my life in the present day. As my past self faded away, my future self was left to recover to continue in a new life.

In some lives, I tend to travel while in the dream state. This is the most ideal way that it happens. I can shut down normal focus and wander weeks, months, even years from my current point in time. All of this is perfect because when you use dreaming as the springboard, there are no immutable laws of physics getting broken, not when consciousness doesn’t have mass. Free of mass, you are free to travel. The lure of physical time travel appears to require bending the rules of physics, a hitherto misunderstood aspect of our universe…..an error in the equations.

I am the first to admit that I haven’t the slightest clue how I manage it, except to say I think it’s a deep interest of mine. That, and the secret that we exist in many realities beyond time. This is just one level. The others, we often dream about them and don’t even realize it at the time. We often dress these dreams up in the focus of our own current focus so the differences are less noticeable. The wandering part of me knows that time as we know it lies curled up inside of a massive expanding present in which all kinds of times exist….Time that moves to count or measure events happening at the nano-scale, times that run backwards, times that run sideways, and time that radiates in all directions.

You see, we can all do this, this coming unstuck in time. Not quite like a Vonnegut novel, but every bit as interesting and even entertaining. To do it requires being willing to wander within consciousness because it is consciousness that carries all of the keys. As a result, to achieve it, you learn how to accelerate your consciousness by opening up to inner streams of energy which we all have access to. Most people have a hard time conceiving of this as a thing because its secret is in feeling. And who trusts their feelings? It means going just a little farther than you normally go. It requires being open to the idea that it’s possible. Without that, you have no way to build those portals or bridges through time. If you don’t believe it’s possible, it isn’t.

In the last few years of my awakening I have been finding that I’m using travel in time to have an effect on my past. I know this is supposed to be a no-no, but I see no reason that it should be. If we have managed to travel back in time, as long as we are in the future relative to the time of travel, it’s still an event focused in the past even if you have yet to travel back in time (maybe this takes place a week from today). Still. I know how it all sounds. Sounds crazy. I know. That’s why only by going through it yourself can you know what I’m talking about.

Of all the traveling the most amazing journey was when I visited myself when I was 17. That was a long time ago, but it resulted in a change in my own timeline. By going backwards, I was able to talk to myself. This took place in the dream state. I made an impression on myself it seems because the next day things felt very different. It also felt very interesting meeting myself from the past. Seeing your double and talking to him is….well, it’s trippy is all I can say. It’s also unifying in an unexpected way. That was a plus. The weird thing was how I had forgotten the dream when I was younger. It took my going back from 2015 to jar my memory to remember how I had had the dream. At the time I was not sure that the me from today could ever be my 17 year old self’s double from the future. The older me just didn’t look like the me thirty years ago. The dream impressed me, but I forgot it because I looked so different from how I would have guessed. I looked like a total kook, wide-eyed and breathless. I looked that way because in the present I was lucid and was trying to think of something useful to tell myself at age 17. Should I tell him about the future? I had managed to travel back, was lucid, and was facing myself. In the end my message was the importance of love. Everything else was just details.

I think we can change our lives for the better by traveling like this. I don’t buy that I’m breaking any rules by doing it. It just seems….normal to me now. If you use it to improve, those changes will ripple down through time, reinforcing a new pattern in your present. I don’t use it for lottery numbers or betting on the market. Most often, I don’t need to. I tend to know how an investment will play out. I did this with my home and I’m about to do it with what is about to become a new form of currency. Sometimes I am off a little, but I find my way. I could feel how money is going to change in a very big way and thought that buying silver was the thing. I realized that the big banks are going to continue making silver artificially cheap by shorting silver in the markets. That’s why this new form of currency will be so huge…at least for a while.

This is what I would call “anticipatory foresight.” It’s general, but it’s anticipating events that are upcoming. The strongest events are the ones that will flow into our time and particular reality. It’s like….intuition.

I’m telling you this because I know everyone can do this, and just knowing it’s a thing is enough to trigger it’s happening all in your own. Like I said; it’s easy even if I don’t know how it’s done.

My time travel is through my projecting myself there. I’m not sending my physical self there. I go on the light….which has no mass, remember?

This is just the tip of the time traveling iceberg, though. I grew up seeing deaths, births, and world events before they happened. I saw Waco weeks before we ever would have imagined it would end in slaughter. I saw the explosion over Chernobyl which sent a radioactive plume into the atmosphere, which rained down as snow in Eastern Europe. I saw people being evacuated by railcar and that the numbers exceeded 65,000 people (100,000 was the total amount). I have seen tsunamis in Indonesia, and an earthquake in Mexico. All had enough details that enabled me to corroborate what I had seen with events in the near future.

I know that skeptics will say its coincidence, that if you wait long enough you will eventually get events close to a dream. In my case, my dreams of the future are about 3-6 weeks ahead, so the possibility of matching a dream to an event becomes increasingly unlikely. I’m not waiting years to get the dream to fit. It’s mere weeks in most cases.

Before I go I can tell you that we will develop antigravity for use in cars. This will come about through a control mechanism that keeps cars just a few feet off the ground. We won’t be allowed to lift off into space, but this will be the implication of the technology. I can also tell you that we have this technology now and that in order for it to enter the civilian sector we will need to bring pressure to bear on our government to release it because it’s being hidden right now.

I can also tell you that we will survive this difficult time in our present to develop technology that will enable us to take a quantum leap beyond our place on earth.

I think people see time travel as breaking the rules somehow…but really it isn’t. It can be used to improve your life. I’m writing this in case it rings bells for another out there who might wonder if they are travelers, too…

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