Archives for the month of: May, 2014

book blog

I know; I should not begin a sentence with a semicolon so close to the beginning but I have to say this quick! Okay; the work continues on that book, but I have to tell you that things are looking better and better. As a writer, I don’t know that I will ever be completely happy with what I have written (I am also told by my cat that I should not be admitting that, but she just caught a vole in the yard, so…). Like my art, it is a progression, so for me, I guess, what gets me excited and fulfilled is the next project. When I look back at an older work I have that impulse to go back and fuss with it. Somebody hold me back!

But. I am currently having the book reviewed by another writer who is familiar with the topic and after a few months of silence and being disciplined not to bug anyone about it, I got a preliminary piece of feedback. And it is really encouraging. In fact, so encouraging, I am having trouble seeing it for what it is at this moment.

I am initiating the process of finding an agent who will shop the book first in the hopes that it will be picked up by a major publisher. Then, the option to self publish will also remain as an opportunity to pursue, along with converting the work to e-book format.

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waterish

Where I live, and maybe where you do too, the locals use this term to describe the experience of radical self-honesty as a “come to Jesus” moment. Maybe you know this kind of moment. I know that in my life, the most moving and liberating moments have been when I have been able to reach this place. It has almost always been one where I become very honest with myself about how I was seeing the world and relating to it. It is being willing to see things as they are in order that what is not aligned within us gets rewritten, changed, or redeemed.

I write a lot about how the process of releasing old stored material essentially IS this very thing. It can sometimes sound mechanistic when I try to explain it with descriptions of the energy body, electromagnetic fields and all the rest. All of that does play into it, but that is more like how your experience on a wonderful journey is made possible by the car you are riding in. It is the machinery, and to be sure, the machinery is part of the wonder of this incredible journey we find ourselves on, since it is all made up of all the same material as everything else is (energy!), but its what rides on that machinery, on those waves of energy that seems to be the thing. So when you say “come to Jesus” we mean becoming more truthful within ourselves. You can’t hide from this truth, you see. Oh sure, you can delay it. We are wonderful at that, aren’t we? We have been delaying the inevitable for lifetimes. In this time, it seems so many are looking around wondering what’s the buzz….what on earth is happening?

Well, its as simple as this. It is contained within this colloquial term I have been using in this post, and it is nothing to be afraid of. Sure, we fear it, run from it, deny it, and make all kinds of deals around it and excuses for not facing it. It is very much a part of how we become glued to what is familiar, and in fearing change, we hold on to the devil we know.

We do, though, have a capacity built right into our very brains and body that lean into this newness in the same way that we lean into the familiar. Thing is, the universe, I have found, is designed to be a mirror of us and to be what I call a giant chalkboard whereby we write all sorts of seemingly concrete and permanent things on it that say what we believe is true and real and then it becomes so. We see it is so, after all, right? And yet, in truth, it is all just chalk. It doesn’t even matter what you write on that chalk board. With freewill, you write what you want to write. We each also live by what we write. Are you writing a story that is in your highest? Do you feel happy with your life, with your existence? I will tell you, a lot of it can be found on that chalkboard. For as permanent as all the facets of your life may seem to be, they are in truth an encoding of electromagnetic energy (oops, here comes more cosmic mechanics!). This energy, which is in you, attracts more of what it is. Many go through their lives so fast without looking long enough to see that this is even happening. It takes some effort to stand back and be honest about it. But when you do, you are in the perfect place to begin wiping that chalk away and writing something new. Something better. And you know what? Everything can change in that instant because YOU are changing. It is so simple a thing that it tends to escape us and we also do a lot to make it hard or more difficult than it is. The key is in just being honest with yourself. Until you do that, the old programs just continue rolling and churning out the same old product. The merry-go-round keeps you right where you are. The more aligned you are to what you want to be, the more of a delight it can be. The more aligned you are with things that do not serve you, well, it can be a whole lot of trouble. I say this because I have myself been a pro at not seeing the truth or seeing what is in front of me. And, really, what I am saying is nothing new.

So the first part is awareness. Sometimes we just aren’t even aware of our condition. It is interesting, though, that we have a means to become aware. You do not even need a guru or some grand experience to do it. You simply intend it, want it, and hold onto that feeling for as long as you need because the world will have a very curious way to some to your aid. A book might present itself to you, a chance conversation at a coffee shop, a dream, or even a moment of reverie where you suddenly feel something slip away…maybe some old grudge or hurt….and then you begin to see quite suddenly how things can and do change. Piece by piece, this is how I have seen it happen in my life. It has been like a puzzle, pieces being redeemed and put into their right and just place, or old ones tossed out because they never really did fit into the bigger picture. And it may be that it just SEEMED like that old puzzle piece fit, but now, in your new place of awareness, you realize they never really did. We do this a lot. I know I have. I am embarrassed to even admit how many times I have done this, but I have. Slowly, stubbornly, and sometimes humbly, I am getting the message. We are, after all, human.

Part of awareness infers honesty, and when we can do that, when we can have our own “come to Jesus” moments and overcome the fear we might feel in facing them, why, things change. That’s the good news.

So really, all the talk about being embodied, awakened, ascended, enlightened, it really isn’t about anything more difficult than this. Over and over again I come back to this and each time I do, I move some old fragment of an old world that no longer suits the new man I am becoming. And its not always clean, or peaceful, or full of rainbows and light. In this, I am honest. But, I know that this is not why I am here. I am a being who has known himself as perfect, even without flaw, entirely bored and fed up with infinite perfection and light and asked as I believe we each have asked, how it is we can become imperfect in order to add something new into the rather static blissfield of infinity? So I came here and got caught up in all kinds of things and didn’t have my infinite self to always fall back on. But gradually, that old self have been found and gradually, I have been able to use that self is a cosmic parent to begin guiding me. It is a partnership of the best kind.

Sometimes, we just need a little reminder. 😉

665e5-firebuddhaface
you
who do not know me
I
who am self-made
inviolate
mystery
bearer of fire
heavenly bliss
through me
not because of me
in me
out of me
flows
the sacred fire of a hundred lost deserts
the water from a million silent jungles
who do not give up their secrets easily.

I know where I have been and no one else speaks for me
you would not believe the story even if I tried

My hips have struck the chord
atop the temples of Palenque
the memory of my fathers
the laughter of my daughters
the blood of my soul
the song of my kind
breathes into my frame
moving me beyond time
the sacred place
redeemed
found
self made,
inviolate,
turning ’round
until I am here.

Buddha points to earth

Everything resolves back into Now.

The pants drying on the line
speaking in riddles
beyond this time
flowers open and speak riddles
sung backward in coded sequences
you have to be quick to catch
clouds turn dark and thunder rolls.
The cat turns over and says,
licking herself,
“I taste good, but you should see interstellar space…”
“Oh, believe me, I know…”
Squinting she says, “belief is not required…”

The house shakes and cracks
as I release that old poison
like ghosts leaving a cemetery
you know how it goes; scary as hell until you realize its all in how you
look at it.
Their forms flee laughing
tricksters
it is all in how you see
and seeing is a choice, you see.
All of this
a wonderful choice
and many have forgot
as fingers wag outwardly
I wonder what journey will bring them
to that vast sea.
To know
is not for me.

The pants on the line say,
“You bring it all with you
like bishops and beliefs
random scraps
and boundless stupidity
you bring it
all of it;
tsk,
tsk,
you thought you would be changed.”
Something tells me we already are.

Buddha sits, one eyebrow raised,
a smile parting his lips
a smile I think will part this world someday
will part me surely
as wave after wave is allowed
so much forgotten
abandoned
like old shipwrecks
you just have to get out and let it go
and in so doing
smile
and laugh
at the utter absurdity of it all…
Pants smile and say,
“Now you are getting it;
abandon everything so you know what you got!”

The thunder in the world
the thunder in me
makes me incomprehensible
I have played others’ stories of me
always resulting in illusion
distraction
delusion
sadness
and loss.
Hands that clutch
keeping me in the fight
while I wonder why it even ever needed to be a fight.
“Illusion makes people like that mad…..the whole world is that way….but interstellar space is better than any fish”
so says the cat peering around the house.
“You gonna let me in or am I going to have to call in my homie troops? I’m kinda hungry.”

It is time to let in the cat
lay down
and wax multidimensional.
It wont be too much longer
that I too will be a goner.

“Abandon! Abdandon!” a sattva says with her wild eyes ablaze
Another points to earth in that knowing gaze
this old house shakes and shudders
now in joy
for
what
comes
next.

IMG_1616

I know it sounds simplistic and not very mystical and woo-woo enough, but the seat of the two cosmic forces that are experienced as enlightenment rest in how the brain mirrors this state. I have been writing about this for a while, and I am going to keep it short. Just as the two forces of the yin and yang, the Ida and Pengali, rise to create the effect or experience of kundalini (a verb!), you are experiencing a potentiating of your own life force, prana or qi. And you can have much much more of it by allowing it to flow with your own greater awareness. It is that simple, but we make it complicated. The old yogis and ancients remind us; it is all within you. It really is. When we try to look outside at the world of effects, this is where we (I included) get tripped up. Ask yourself what an event in your life is teaching you. It is there not because of a series of random events. It is there for a reason, all based on a simple law of Attraction. This is what the Secret of the Golden Flower taught, a simple book about turning your awareness in on itself. By doing this, we see inwardly instead of merely outwardly. You may not believe it, but by changing what is in you, you WILL change the substance of your life. Okay, so there was your moment of woo-woo!

So what this has on offer to us is a new way to be. I observe that the world leans to the left brain in all that it does. Linear, logical, we have created a lot of amazing things out of this way of being from the linearity of language to the linearity of computer code. It is all the domain of the left brain by and large. And this is good. the left allows us to identify individual objects, focus on them, examine them, but it also means we do not see these things in relationship. And what part of us helps us do this? Why, it is the right brain! As we as a species learn to use this other part of ourselves, we also tend to become more creative, more able to handle mystery, and more able to see the interconnectivity of all things. Like being able to see how you sabotage yourself in your own life. Or seeing how you DO indeed have blinders on. the right brain will help you plumb this. People say to me how right brained they are when I speak of how left brained we are. I explain that it is relative. Yes, you can experience greater right-brained activity, but this is like someone who has been living in a desert being given a canteen of water. Wow! That is a lot of water! you exclaim. Smiling, I think of the ocean that enfolds me. That enfolds all of us without our entirely realizing it. It is a matter of awareness.

So today, consider that overcoming the world in all of its problems that it puts to you is actually something that can be handled with the part of you that does not rationalize at all but delights in the mystery of the vast realm of interconnected parts that now behave in a new way; an interconnected whole! Shift yourself, and you WILL shift the world around you! Stop pointing the finger and look inside yourself, not because there isn’t injustice in the world, but because that injustice is not entirely solved by merely pointing. Be the change you wish to see and it will be that much closer to becoming a reality. When you become more loving in yourself, you will inspire others to be the same. And it will spread because it is infectious!

You can overcome anything when you overcome yourself. You will also be surprised just how quickly this change can come when you just. Let. Go.

Jesus-casting-money-changers-from-the-temple

There is a saying that goes, “What would Jesus do?” When you think of that little dittie, consider what Jesus did one day while at the Jewish Temple. He fashioned a whip with many pieces and went into the arena where the money changers were and began whipping and turning over the tables, explaining that these people should immediately leave.

It was that moment where Jesus lost his zen. Most of us are taught or told that Jesus was ticked off that the temple had been turned into a place of business. Certainly what he was said to have said would suggest this. Dig deeper, and you might just get a little more depth on this story. And it is interesting and it might well provide a little more insight into Jesus the dude who lost his zen. But before you begin thinking Jesus would just whip out his whip whenever he got upset (he did reportedly cause a fig to wither because it was not bearing any fruit—Jesus must have really liked his figs!).

The Jews did not use pagan money in their temple. They would not use any money with the figure of a roman or roman god-dess struck on its face for their tribute payments. Instead, they had something called a half-shekel minted for their use. The money changers, it turns out, were hoarding these shekels, which caused the cost of them to go up. It was an artificial rarity that was being created, effectively, market manipulation. What this did, though, was it made all trade for tribute payment more expensive for the common people. If it cost a farmer a bag of grain for a half shekel, it now would cost him and his family more, say, a bag and a half. This was a tax on the people and who was getting the tax? You got it; the temple moneychangers.

And this ticked Jesus off. A lot. So much, in fact, he went in and turned over tables and ordered these folks out. And of course, he very likely got on the wrong side of the Pharisees and Sadducees. I like this story for the very fact that it puts a human face on the man we so often wish to deify and make less than human and more unearthly. He was, after all, human.

I am not a big one for days we set aside in order to honor something. I was grumping recently about Earth Day because I felt every day should be Earth Day. But not Mother’s Day. For me, this is like a birthday, a celebration.

We all seem to be effected by how we were raised. For years I felt a deep sense of anger towards my Mother, a feeling that came from not getting what I needed in my early years of infancy. I was able to let that old hurt go by going deep into the experience and the feeling in order to really experience it. It is this one act that most often clears old long-standing blocks that will continue to cause problems going forward in life. Now, with that gone, I have been able to come to a new place in my relationship with my Mother. Being able to overcome, within ourselves, what is there that serves to separate us from ourselves serves to help us relate to the universe. This is an amazing outcome to self work. Most often, I have found, the problems we face with others are entirely self made. It goes back to what many teachers have observed about the nature of our expectation and resultant suffering when the world does not meet our own self-made expectations. All of this work has been, for me, about seeing things as they are. So on this Mother’s Day, I am all about What Is and celebrating that. And you know what? In perfect timing, along comes all this stuff showing me how I need to heal the womb of the world that is my own part, and this womb, interestingly, is felt right where it should be in the woman, except it is expressed as an etheric or energetic form within me. It has been coming up now as one of the last (it feels like) major issues to clear in my energy field. Since awakening, I have watched as center after center, chakra after chakra was cleansed of these old wounds. When the heart chakra was cleared, it was like an epiphany. Now, a similar kind of wound remains to heal, to let go. My feeling is that individually, it bears on the hurts that are connected to the creative fire of the feminine over my evolutionary spiral on this planet both as man and as woman. Healing that part helps others to heal, healing the planet, lifting our awareness, and changing the vibration here on Gaia. What could be more amazing as that?

For some of you, this might sound foreign, maybe even strange, but consider this: I have been a woman before in past lives. All of what I am in my universal essence has the experience of the feminine within me to the degree that I have taken lives to help add that to balance in physical what is in the spiritual. Awakened, I am more aware of that essential self more than ever. Far from making me bland or androgenous, it has helped me to understand more, relate better in some ways, and also to reach back into my own being for the resources I need to know the self I am “beyond” my current awareness here. The feminine has become more and more a part of this as I have overcome the hurdles that have stood in my way. As I have written over the past year or so, I have mentioned instances where I have encountered this inner feminine as an overarching archetype, a kind of feminine goddess of Parker. She is there in a number of dimensional forms or realities. It is no surprise that the problems I have had with my own Mother, birther, nurturer, have been the ones I have struggled with and am now learning to uproot, cleanse, heal, and bring to peace with. Our family can be our greatest teachers, you see. Every problem we face is a teaching opportunity in disguise.

In wondrous intelligence, nothing in our world is lost. All is transformed. I have always thought the idea of a hell was so wasteful of a deity…..until I really realized hell is just something we came up with, but as an objective reality created by some angry father god, no. So in healing, you never lose anything. Your own Mother comes right along, transfigured herself most likely in your own eyes as you learn to see her for just as she is which is, I think, the greatest honor we can pay our Mothers because what Mother does not delight in her children really truly seeing her (and perhaps in a more complete way maybe for the first time).

Tomorrow I get to have my Mother all to myself. She seems to need that these days as she ages. Life has conspired that it will be this way, and I am looking forward to it. So to all Mothers out there, to the children who have them ( smiles), here is to Mothers!

It is easy to get stuck and not even know it. In fact, being stuck is defined as a lack of awareness. In that lack of awareness, you can believe that what you think feel and see is true. The problem is, belief serves to filter what we experience. That is not to say that a belief that aligns with the universe will trip you up, but a lot of beliefs that do not align can. I am not even going to talk about false belief. I am not interested in any kind of righteous crusade. Thing is, it is entirely within our capacities to be shown the truth IF we are ready. The problem is, the more dug in you are, the more stuck you are. The more stuck you are, the less ready you are to see the mess you have gotten yourself into. That kind of gives you a bit of embarrassment, no? Ego dislikes being wrong. And yet, being like children, we open our eyes to the promise of what is and let fall away that which is inferior. When you do this, you will find, perhaps to your surprise, that you have been grasping chaff, not wheat. To turn around, to become unstuck, you simply have to be ready. Since belief absolutely governs behavior, the very lens through which we view the world, be aware of what your beliefs are. Examine them, for they will most certainly rule you whether you like it or not. Through ego, we take this all on, identify with it and then it defines us and masters us. LIke Buddha said, believe nothing until you have made sure such a belief holds water. And here is the thing…..when you go through a radical experience like awakening, everything may be new to you and thus it is easy to form all kinds of wild ideas about what it is that you think you see. We are each a babe in the woods on this one, so do not make your mind up too soon. Let the landscape shift and change; if you awaken, this will happen daily, weekly, monthly. Moment by moment, it will happen. Let it happen, and let the change come. If you try to grasp it, it is like a chimera that is a snake one day and a griffin the next. Thing is, in each moment, in each form, there is a kind of relevance, and yet, it is only a smaller part of a larger story. This crash course will take some time.

And there are a lot of ideas that propagate. Be grounded, let your kite fly high into the ether. A kite, which can go far, also does so by having a tail weighing it down. Remember that. I once believed, because of how my awakening moved forward, that what I was experiencing was a twin soul. I had reasons to believe this. And yet, over time, the stories about it simply no longer held any water. You should know, though, that I am one of the most hopeful people you will meet. I am not a cynic in my bones. We do need to exercise some reason while letting that kite fly high. What I thought was a twin was the effect of energy that attracts more of itself. When you feel that similarity, it creates more energy flow. that energy flow creates bliss because the energy IS bliss. Prana is itself bliss when you remove enough blocks that impede its flow. This is why kundalini is often felt as bliss; kundalini is the verb that is moving us within a sea of energy. But energy attracts more of itself. This is not always done at the highest vibration, and when we are attracted to others based on what is yet fully healed, we wind up reinforcing more of the same energy. It becomes a cosmic tar pit where the more we try to wrestle with it to “fix” or heal it, the “stucker” we become. Most of the time you will find there is some measure of an argument in the feeling….some stress or tautness to the energy. That is a sure sign that this is old junk. Yes, it moves energy, but yet it also moves it through less than clear lenses of our being. It is a coin with two sides. We are here, I observe, to clean it all up.

But the twin experience did feel amazing. But what I also knew was I was experiencing kundalini. There was a trick here…..and it is not a good one. We wind up telling ourselves that we are feeling all this energy because of another person. Well no, that is not so. We are allowing ourselves to open up and flow….and perhaps being in relationship helps this. My observation was that when I determined that the stories were “off” about what a twin was, my own soul responded by changing my kundalini experience in a dramatic way. Boom. Just like that. Something deep in me said something was not right. As I focused on this, sources that helped me to bridge my own cognitive gap appeared as if by magic. Poof! In the world of awakening, this becomes a known effect as life becomes ever-more magical. I found that by asking the question, I learned a lot in the answer. If the twin soul experience was one where you only had one, why did I experience it beyond my first twin. How can I have had more than one twin? That is simple; I was now in a new world where mind was more aware of the energy that was moving through it. Further, I could feel it from a distance. Thousands of miles away. But that is hardly magical, it is just how energy works. Reiki practioners can heal from a distance, so none of this should be so surprising. It is just a new experience. But we often want to mythologize the experience. it isn’t that the experience isn’t significant, it is just that the signal has been amped up much higher. We carry more energy and along with that comes some phenomenon that has not been noticed since before the amping began. We are now stronger receivers and senders of energy. As such, it also means, you have to be much more aware and careful about where you go, where your thoughts go and what you choose to embody. It is a new world, a new dimension. It is amazing, wonderful and amazing…..but it need not be mythologized.

The thing we do not always realize is that when it comes to karma, we really did make a choice about it. We CHOSE to feel a certain way and this choice did not involve another person directly. Oh sure, there may have been a person there, trees, rivers, buildings…..but the decision to feel or act a certain way, that was our own. And in developing a stumbling karmic block, we wound up reencountering this same thing over and over until we each learn to heal it. Let it go. Until that happens….same taughtness, tightness, struggle, issue, chip, splinter. It is there, no matter how seemingly small. By seeking to see the speck in your neighbors eye, you miss the beam in your own. How true. Like with the twin experience, I realized there were all these people who had twins, some even faced the fact that they had experienced more than one of these so-called “twins” yet continued to believe in the mainline story. All the while, these people were stuck. They sought to go for the bliss of what a close friend once termed the “foreverness” of the experience instead of doing the work. In fact, when I logged on to a twins board years ago, I saw people who had been in the same place for years. Had they changed? Had they helped to move the old karmas? Some twins seemed as dysfunctional as ever. I was staring into a vast mirror. I am not perfect, no, far from it, but from time to time I have this thing I have slowly learned to listen to (even as I have often ignored it much to my peril in the past), and it has helped me immensely when I have. And it has hurt me when I haven’t. It might be that an idea appeals to us in a reasonable way, but if that idea or belief is off in any way, it can lead to being stuck. I am now at a place where I don’t know the truth, but I suspect that this may be the best place to be….which is like a child who just does not know and is fresh and open to new change. I pray for that change daily. And doing away with old beliefs is not like shooting a beloved pet. It never dismisses any of the awe or wonder that life presents. I am living in a whole new world, afterall. That will never change. I have been forever changed. We just can’t know fully the big picture until we first get down to the zero point, the place of complete surrender and erasure of all old programs installed. Don’t be afraid; wiping the hard disc means room for that which now aligns with the universe. I seek humility, believe it or not in this enterprise. Becoming unstuck is merely an intent to know differently. It is not an affectation, a fad, or an idea. It is a fundamental willingness and discipline to follow what an old belief may seek to pull us away from. Sometimes we can become addicted to our old beliefs and obviously, this leads to addictive behavior (naturally, right?)

I seek the love that overarches all of this. It is big and sometimes I miss it, but it is there and I want very much to “understand” it. It is bigger than anything I have thus far experienced. Something in me says it is a great mystery, but one that we comprehend more like how poetry is grasped than a fact is known.

All my hopes…

The more I move along in this, the more I come to the powerful conclusion that what we call awakening or kundalini (that’s a verb, you know) is in fact what we are wired for. See, in the not-so far-past, this “thing” which someone like U.G. Krishnamurti had, or that Gopi Krishna experienced while seeking to raise it at home, was once a very rare event or phenomenon.  There were very few people on the planet who “had” this elusive, perhaps esoteric thing going on.  Now, we are absolutely in a new day.  People by the thousands, literally, are awakening in what I determine is nothing short of a watershed event.  And it is none too soon!  What is happening, though, is what I observe to be what the ancients talked about with a good degree of aplomb using their vocabulary-set of the times.  Jesus and his disciples spoke of “the left and the right” in context to the trinity, the force of the two who joined to create the third.  While mainline Christianity deemed these texts that spoke so clearly of the awakening experience heretical, they persist as excellent examples of what Jesus spoke of as being The Kingdom.  And I don’t mean to suggest something tentative or thinly laid, but rather a whole series of documents, most of them lost for centuries and recently rediscovered by scholars.  The Taoists, the Hindus as well as the Mystery School initiates were all on to the same thing.  And what was this?  With my own voice added to the mix, it was nothing short of a top to bottom merging of both consciousness and physiology, all of which serve to support awakening.

The secret is dissolving what divides you.  Its less a science as poetry and art.  Art is not easy, but does bring grace, and this makes it all effortless.  So a little backstory, explanation, of what I now call an “epiphany talk” I had with the force that was is in me and “talks” to me since my awakening.  It is more that I merge deeply into its presence, deep into the energy, and find that anything I am interested in arises into my awareness with an amazing vividness, much like a movie or dream- while awake.  In an odd sort of twist, I came across the words of Edgar Cayce who described how he “did” what he did, and while he went into trance, I found that my perhaps-lighter trance state was similar in how he described it.  It was, in fact, what I had been doing whenever I found myself in the grip of a great inspired moment when making art. Okay….

When I sat on that late August night two years ago on my porch, I felt the presence of this familiar force alive in me, a force that has what I often feel is a consciousness all its own but that I know is an extension of myself, the higher self.  And on that night it wanted to show me something because I had been puzzling over the linkage between body and cosmic consciousness.  What it showed me was that the force of energy that is beyond the body yet also within it coheres to the electromagnetic field in the body.  Think of this as like how we beam signals and information using radio waves.  Talk and text and images, all travel astride this energy which our devices then decode.  Our bodies, our nervous system and brain as well as our bodies are amazing devices of a soft sort that are expertly capable of decoding information that travels within our bodies and even beyond it.  Our heart, which pumps iron rich blood, is creating electricity through this activity in the same way the earth generates electricity when the molten iron rich core moves within it.  In fact, physicists have discovered that we can generate massive amounts of electricity by circulating molten metal within a cavity.  So it is not so strange to see how the body is creating a much lower level of energy which is expressed as electricity that the nervous system uses to convey information throughout the body as nerve signals.  It’s all electricity and it is all being expertly decoded by our brains and felt by our bodies.  Electromagnetic fields are the result of this electricity as electricity and electromagnetism are two sides of the same coin!  Cool, right?  But hang on!  These fields also have a polarity.  Our bodies also have a polarity.  Even the Chinese observed this and called it Yin and Yang.  Just like a magnet, just like the sun and earth.  For us, this field shields us from life killing plasma from the sun.  We would be dead within weeks without it.  It is also why Mars is a dead planet; no more molten activity in its core (although it has the largest volcano yet found in our solar system!).  So I was pondering all of this and I was shown in the usual fashion what this force in me wanted to show me or reveal, which is how in our bodies RIGHT NOW there is a current of energy moving in us that moves from one polarity to another.  Where this energy merges is where the Hindu describe as being the crown chakra, the placed that is supposedly where cosmic consciousness flowers (so they say; I have a different opinion and experience….but for now, its good enough for what I am trying to get across).  In the body, there is this flip that happens, where one energy pole merges into the other.  This is union.  It is also, this presence said, what explains why one hemisphere controls the other side of the body.  It was, it said, this way to ensure that the two merged.  The left and right brains are mirrors of the yin and yang energies.  They cohere closely to aspects present within both.  Some call this the divine masculine and feminine, but in a larger scope, these are aspects that are within each person and is not in any real way aligned to our sexuality or sexual orientation. In fact, the idea that there is a man and a woman within us might seem a little silly.  This is simply that there is a higher order energy that is not so focused in our physical operations that is focused at this slightly higher dimension.  It carries qualities that COULD be called masculine and feminine and DO most certainly connect into those archetypes for people so focused, but it’s not a rule as far as I can tell. It just can help you to relate to these opposite ends of yourself……which is itself a mirror of all the things that are in the universe.  The yin and yang are themselves a reflection, I say, of the Tao, that formless thing that is within everything. It is in the atoms (neg and positive) it is in energy (neg and pos. poles) and it is in us….in the atoms in our bodies, and in our electrical field you can also call the aura.  This energy can be seen or perceived even by those who have caught on to how to do it.  I have been reading fields since I was 18 and there is simply no doubt that our consciousness rides upon a very real and perceptible field of energy.  In fact, it really isn’t so hard to learn to see auras.  You can find the simple exercises all over the net and they are all about the same.    I first saw them when my mind was emptied….which led me to being open to my natural present ability to pick them up.  Seeing this field before you can be life changing in the sense that it creates a tangible sense of awareness that we are more than just bodies, atoms, and mere electrical activity.

This energy does this flip, and this is where union takes place, so they say.  What I experienced was that this union takes place at the atomic level and happens the moment awakening takes place.  SOme will say they did not “raise” their kundalini correctly, but my experience was that the very force OF kundalini WAS defacto union.  It is like trying to raise only positive energetic force; the positive does not exist without the negative as its counterbalance.  They are, like electrical fields and magnetic fields, two sides of the same coin. So knowing all of this, what is the difference between one who is awakened and one who is not?  Simple; division cognitively and emotionally.  When you can remove enough competing material within you, you literally remove the blocks in your field of awareness and your field of energy that allows for  a greater flow of energy to happen.  Question is, where is the tipping point where awakening will happen?  It could be that childbirth could spark it, with its rich bed of hormones helping to mirror many of the cosmic elements that take place in awakening.  That could help support awakening, and this has been known to happen.  Sometimes a stressor happens that can stir it.  Sometimes a simple meditation, or a series of meditations can do it.  For me, I triggered awakening by simply resolving a long-standing issue that had me tied up in knots.  By letting it go, releasing it, awakening began to gather force.  How my awakening unfurled, though, was by no means text book.  it is why I write; there are many ways we can awaken and you ought not be put off by what others have to say about it.  You KNOW something has been triggered and is a horse of an entirely different color!  For me, I was able to observe this force in me without knowing it was kundalini.  I was able to see it for what it was before doing reading on it.

What I know now is that our bodies and our consciousness itself coheres to a model of energetic polarities that will take me beyond the body and into the body of the universe, into cosmic consciousness, a kind of vast network so unbelievably complex that it boggles the mind, but delights the soul.  By moving beyond concepts of the self as separate, we can begin to glimpse and then embody greater volumes of awareness here and now.  It is nothing less than knowing heaven on earth.  And for an earthling like me, that is a pretty huge inspirational experience!

So dissolve division.  What divides you is what keeps your awareness from settling into the natural pattern of the left and the right, the yin and the yang…..the left side of the body carries the yin and the right carries the yang.  They are constantly merging and commingling all throughout their current-journey through your body.  And they move with the speed of light, so the idea that kundalini “rises” is itself merely an effect the body registers as a result of this realization, most likely the potentiating of the energy in the body so that more cosmic juice can now flow.  And how it feels?  If you surrender to it, it is pure bliss.  This very fine energy called Qi (Chi) or Prana is bliss when we strip ourselves of notions and beliefs that do not serve a direct approach to it.  In fact, beliefs can serve to distort it, and over time, the energy will tend to show you a better way (to the degree that you make yourself available—note: some of us are notoriously hard-headed!).  I do know that the action, the verb that is kundalini, is itself a churning effect in my being and it shakes out the chaff.  Bit by bit emotional blocks are dissolved that have impeded the flow of energy.  The less I have in the way, the more it flows.  Perfect.  And if you are blocked and kundalini rises, the force will help to clear you (again, to the degree that you make yourself available!).

So what stands in your way?  What bothers you?  What irks you?  Realize that something in the world is just what it is; what bothers you is not because of the thing you see, it is because of YOU.  I know, great injustice bothers us, as it rightly ought to do, but what I mean is that too often, what gets at us is less about another as what is in us.  You may not realize this at first, but in each instance where something bothered me, it ALWAYS led right back to….you guessed it; me.   And it is up to me to simply see the thing AS IT IS.  When I do that, I realize that it is because I expect it to be different than what it is.  Someone who has a crazy outlook about the world is simply working their life where they are.  They are a work in progress, and why should I make an argument about that.  Wasn’t I at a place similar to that at one time, too?  So then I am free to be more neutral and realize that this is how the world is.  Otherwise, its just a bunch of energy wastage.  Let it go.  Find your peace.  If you have guilt, resolving that guilt or that shame is a huge issue.  In one of the lesser known early Christian books that didn’t make it into the mainstream Bible, Jesus was asked how one is able to know this kingdom.  He explained that when you can trample the cloak of your shame like a child naked, then you can see the kingdom.  ANd this is perfect, really, because shame and guilt all serve as anchors that weigh our souls down and keep us from being able to embody the incredible lightness of being that is part of this experience.  One very good way of coming face to face with your energy is through stillness of mind, turning inward (not looking outward) and concentrating on your breath.  Prana is coincident with your breath, and when you focus on breath, you are also focusing coincidentally on your energy.  If you stay with your slow and steady breath, you will find yourself feeling very different.  This is the leading edge of something really quite big.

While some will caution about awakening, as if it is some dangerous thing, I take a different view; this is our native state which we have fallen away from.  What gets in the way of our awakening is NOT kundalini but ourselves.  Us!  When you learn the art of surrender, it becomes much easier.  When I was ready for more, kundalini obliged and poured it on….so strong in fact, that I went into a kind of spiral that was very difficult for me, but ultimately led to a place where I felt something crushed in me.  Once this took place, a kind of cognitive collapse, I realized I had experienced what was described (very poorly I must admit) as the much-feared “ego death.”  It is a real misnomer, because what took place was more a rearranging of my inner landscape so ego was not front and center.  Also, while I know that the psychological community has their own ideas about it, I have observed that ego corresponds to that part of ourselves that observe objects as separate within space.  This level of cognition corresponds, I will point out, to the left brain.  I have reached a place where I have observed that when I am most creative and working in my right brain (being an artist, this has not been hard to observe many many times!), that I have a corresponding suspension of ego as I feel myself move into this large  space where what I am is…different.  I am more fluid and the idea of ego is less important.  Ego is still there, it is always there, but its just not rigidly held within awareness.  Anyone who claims to have killed ego is just kidding themselves.  Even the most known of people who have gone through this all have ego after. In the Gospel of Phillip Jesus even describes this collapse of the self, a kind of “destruction” after which the self achieves an uncanny power to make mountains move.  And of course, this all makes sense, because by letting the ego step aside, we are embracing the waveform, not the particle side of our awareness.  The left brain is focused on individual things, like particles, while the right brain can focus on the wave.  The left brain is a linear processor of information, which makes it limited, while the right brain, we now know, can process vast amounts of information in nano-seconds!  People who have had their left brains impaired have discovered savant-like abilities.  And this all makes perfect sense, because the right brain can take billions of particles, ideas, or visual information and process it very quickly.  We have needed both sides of this coin in ourselves in order to deal with reality.  The problem for us is that we have tended to be very left-brained as a species.  This, though, is changing, and as this changes more, the merging of the left with the right will result in more awakenings.  This is what we call divine union.  It exists within yourself!  Here!  Now!

So.  As I said in the last post, I do not get to write much lately.  I am getting this off just so you know I am still active, I simply am doing other things and concentrating on myself. It is so easy to get caught up in what is “out there” and forget the work that one needs to do…..and you would be surprised how much more clearly the picture resolves when you do that!  The compass is within each of us.  Each of us must find it ourselves.  But it IS within you.  And while kundalini yoga might seem the way to go, the way is far more simple than all of that.  Your belief, which will govern and control your actions and what you choose to do, can keep you from discovering just how simple, how foundational, actually, this experience is.  Perhaps it is because it is so simple that it has evaded our notice.  That, though, is changing fast!

So you made it this far; one word that needs to be kept in mind because without it, this can be empty words: LOVE.  Seeking the highest, you will tend to find it.  Love to you.

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