It is easy to get stuck and not even know it. In fact, being stuck is defined as a lack of awareness. In that lack of awareness, you can believe that what you think feel and see is true. The problem is, belief serves to filter what we experience. That is not to say that a belief that aligns with the universe will trip you up, but a lot of beliefs that do not align can. I am not even going to talk about false belief. I am not interested in any kind of righteous crusade. Thing is, it is entirely within our capacities to be shown the truth IF we are ready. The problem is, the more dug in you are, the more stuck you are. The more stuck you are, the less ready you are to see the mess you have gotten yourself into. That kind of gives you a bit of embarrassment, no? Ego dislikes being wrong. And yet, being like children, we open our eyes to the promise of what is and let fall away that which is inferior. When you do this, you will find, perhaps to your surprise, that you have been grasping chaff, not wheat. To turn around, to become unstuck, you simply have to be ready. Since belief absolutely governs behavior, the very lens through which we view the world, be aware of what your beliefs are. Examine them, for they will most certainly rule you whether you like it or not. Through ego, we take this all on, identify with it and then it defines us and masters us. LIke Buddha said, believe nothing until you have made sure such a belief holds water. And here is the thing…..when you go through a radical experience like awakening, everything may be new to you and thus it is easy to form all kinds of wild ideas about what it is that you think you see. We are each a babe in the woods on this one, so do not make your mind up too soon. Let the landscape shift and change; if you awaken, this will happen daily, weekly, monthly. Moment by moment, it will happen. Let it happen, and let the change come. If you try to grasp it, it is like a chimera that is a snake one day and a griffin the next. Thing is, in each moment, in each form, there is a kind of relevance, and yet, it is only a smaller part of a larger story. This crash course will take some time.
And there are a lot of ideas that propagate. Be grounded, let your kite fly high into the ether. A kite, which can go far, also does so by having a tail weighing it down. Remember that. I once believed, because of how my awakening moved forward, that what I was experiencing was a twin soul. I had reasons to believe this. And yet, over time, the stories about it simply no longer held any water. You should know, though, that I am one of the most hopeful people you will meet. I am not a cynic in my bones. We do need to exercise some reason while letting that kite fly high. What I thought was a twin was the effect of energy that attracts more of itself. When you feel that similarity, it creates more energy flow. that energy flow creates bliss because the energy IS bliss. Prana is itself bliss when you remove enough blocks that impede its flow. This is why kundalini is often felt as bliss; kundalini is the verb that is moving us within a sea of energy. But energy attracts more of itself. This is not always done at the highest vibration, and when we are attracted to others based on what is yet fully healed, we wind up reinforcing more of the same energy. It becomes a cosmic tar pit where the more we try to wrestle with it to “fix” or heal it, the “stucker” we become. Most of the time you will find there is some measure of an argument in the feeling….some stress or tautness to the energy. That is a sure sign that this is old junk. Yes, it moves energy, but yet it also moves it through less than clear lenses of our being. It is a coin with two sides. We are here, I observe, to clean it all up.
But the twin experience did feel amazing. But what I also knew was I was experiencing kundalini. There was a trick here…..and it is not a good one. We wind up telling ourselves that we are feeling all this energy because of another person. Well no, that is not so. We are allowing ourselves to open up and flow….and perhaps being in relationship helps this. My observation was that when I determined that the stories were “off” about what a twin was, my own soul responded by changing my kundalini experience in a dramatic way. Boom. Just like that. Something deep in me said something was not right. As I focused on this, sources that helped me to bridge my own cognitive gap appeared as if by magic. Poof! In the world of awakening, this becomes a known effect as life becomes ever-more magical. I found that by asking the question, I learned a lot in the answer. If the twin soul experience was one where you only had one, why did I experience it beyond my first twin. How can I have had more than one twin? That is simple; I was now in a new world where mind was more aware of the energy that was moving through it. Further, I could feel it from a distance. Thousands of miles away. But that is hardly magical, it is just how energy works. Reiki practioners can heal from a distance, so none of this should be so surprising. It is just a new experience. But we often want to mythologize the experience. it isn’t that the experience isn’t significant, it is just that the signal has been amped up much higher. We carry more energy and along with that comes some phenomenon that has not been noticed since before the amping began. We are now stronger receivers and senders of energy. As such, it also means, you have to be much more aware and careful about where you go, where your thoughts go and what you choose to embody. It is a new world, a new dimension. It is amazing, wonderful and amazing…..but it need not be mythologized.
The thing we do not always realize is that when it comes to karma, we really did make a choice about it. We CHOSE to feel a certain way and this choice did not involve another person directly. Oh sure, there may have been a person there, trees, rivers, buildings…..but the decision to feel or act a certain way, that was our own. And in developing a stumbling karmic block, we wound up reencountering this same thing over and over until we each learn to heal it. Let it go. Until that happens….same taughtness, tightness, struggle, issue, chip, splinter. It is there, no matter how seemingly small. By seeking to see the speck in your neighbors eye, you miss the beam in your own. How true. Like with the twin experience, I realized there were all these people who had twins, some even faced the fact that they had experienced more than one of these so-called “twins” yet continued to believe in the mainline story. All the while, these people were stuck. They sought to go for the bliss of what a close friend once termed the “foreverness” of the experience instead of doing the work. In fact, when I logged on to a twins board years ago, I saw people who had been in the same place for years. Had they changed? Had they helped to move the old karmas? Some twins seemed as dysfunctional as ever. I was staring into a vast mirror. I am not perfect, no, far from it, but from time to time I have this thing I have slowly learned to listen to (even as I have often ignored it much to my peril in the past), and it has helped me immensely when I have. And it has hurt me when I haven’t. It might be that an idea appeals to us in a reasonable way, but if that idea or belief is off in any way, it can lead to being stuck. I am now at a place where I don’t know the truth, but I suspect that this may be the best place to be….which is like a child who just does not know and is fresh and open to new change. I pray for that change daily. And doing away with old beliefs is not like shooting a beloved pet. It never dismisses any of the awe or wonder that life presents. I am living in a whole new world, afterall. That will never change. I have been forever changed. We just can’t know fully the big picture until we first get down to the zero point, the place of complete surrender and erasure of all old programs installed. Don’t be afraid; wiping the hard disc means room for that which now aligns with the universe. I seek humility, believe it or not in this enterprise. Becoming unstuck is merely an intent to know differently. It is not an affectation, a fad, or an idea. It is a fundamental willingness and discipline to follow what an old belief may seek to pull us away from. Sometimes we can become addicted to our old beliefs and obviously, this leads to addictive behavior (naturally, right?)
I seek the love that overarches all of this. It is big and sometimes I miss it, but it is there and I want very much to “understand” it. It is bigger than anything I have thus far experienced. Something in me says it is a great mystery, but one that we comprehend more like how poetry is grasped than a fact is known.
All my hopes…