Archives for category: spiritual healing

Yesterday Facebook memories reminded me that wild cherries that I used to pick were ripe. I took the picture on the day I picked those cherries and then posted it that day, so I had an assurance that the same trees were bearing. The cherries grow on a tree in a dear friend’s yard who deceased in November of last year. He was one of my very best friends. We were like wheels that had come off the wagon of the world, misfits, iconoclasts whose journey song no longer matched a loud and increasingly jarring world that seemed like it was losing itself. So we took shelter in our friendship. We had talks about all kinds of things, and he helped me with my electrical equipment since he was an electrical engineer. Rational, but highly creative, the kind of people I often gravitate towards.

With his property still in limbo I went to his place and checked to see if the cherries were ripe. They were. I took a small step ladder to help me reach them because I was going to pick as many as I could get. These cherries are wild, so they are small. They are both bitter and sweet all at once, and being wild, I like that about them.

Normally, I tend to have some communication with someone like my friend after they pass, but I have only gotten glimmers, and it has made me wonder what was up. I was thinking about this as I walked across the yard to get an even larger step ladder to get up higher into the boughs.

Being there, though, in nature, did something to me. It wasn’t a surprise, it is something that happens to me a lot. If I am going to feel a burst of prana, it is going to happen when I am alone in nature. The quieter I am in my mind, the better it is. And I had gotten very quiet. Still. Hands reaching for the cherries still ripe and not overly ripe. I was busy with very little…

As I stood there, I felt my heart open up, and I enjoyed that moment of communion with the tree and all of the life around me…birds, the insects, other trees. I sank into it, and as I did, it was like I found someone there looking out through it all. It was my friend, but it was an aspect of him that, while I recognized it as him, he was just very different. I “got” that it was him, but it was as if he opened up in a way he had never done (perhaps because we weren’t communicating telepathically with each other while he was alive). What happened next is nearly impossible to explain or describe, but I am here to try, so here goes.

Have you ever watched a movie that is in a language you don’t understand, and instead of reading the subtitles, you fix your eyes on the people talking? You are aware that you are not getting the full drift or meaning of the conversation, but you are getting the feel of it, and probably a lot more than you even realized. I could feel my friend coming through, communing with me there, but also speaking to me but not in words….not completely. He was telling me something, but it was more like listening to a symphony of feeling more than anything else. The explaining in word was only a small subset of all of what happened. Part of me craned my neck to try and hear his words…but this seemed like it wasn’t entirely the point. Still. What I was getting was something that was partly just feeling with a kind of narrative wound around it….but he wanted me to get the depth of feeling, and was there I think, because he knew I might be able to catch it in that moment. He approached me, I think, in the way that he did because he knew he could. While I really liked his earthly presence, what I was feeling into was really quite grand, like an inner self without any fear or sense of vulnerability that we often experience here with people.

What he was doing was he was feeling something and telling me about it. I didn’t need the words if I could just stretch out into what he was feeling. I did that. I let myself get closer and closer and to open up more and more without engaging my rational side.

He was capturing a state of mind, one, which, he was explaining, he had spent his life on Earth finding and keeping. He was saying how it would elude him…he would get it and then it would wane and slip between his fingers. What was that? He was showing me and it felt like for a moment that we were somehow suspended outside of time just a bit while I was standing on that ladder picking cherries. I didn’t skip a beat, didn’t get “way far out” I was just very present….right here in the Now. Tears streamed from my face as I leaned into this feeling he was “telling” me about. His big regret was that he couldn’t stay in that state all the time. He said something to the effect that he always knew that this kind of state could change the world. I chuckled at that, and he said something that approached “Okay, it changed my world…”

I stayed with it and I could feel this transmission keep going, and the less I tried to hear it the more I felt it, the stronger it got. It felt a bit like a saxophone playing this really long note, and the longer that note was played, the sweeter and riper it would get, the more intense it was. It required a surrendered state where I could become inspired, and this was what was fueling the experience. It would be very easy to think that I was making this all up in my head, except by now after many instances or experiences like this where I have encountered people who I have not even met before saying and doing things in the ether, I have come to suspect that when it comes fully “hatched” as this experience did, the likelihood of it being something from someone else and not self-created, is very high. I have done this in my work where I have been able to describe the behavior of people who I have not met before and who have been deceased. This feeling that was so nuanced, so full, and that had this undeniable stamp of his nature on it, was sweeping all through me. I was reminded how the rational mind, when allowed to come stumbling into encounters like this can make a mess of things. I checked the rational a few times in the process of this in order to allow the part of my mind, which had the capacity to expand and roam free, the greatest room. It was like being told that being so inspired, so full of wonder and awe is what the world needs more of. My friend has this brand of it that is part of who he is, and he chased it the whole time he was in his life. Later in life, however, he grew jaded and tired of how the world seemed to be falling apart around him, and wondered what the whole point was. This encounter was him setting the needle back into the groove again.

It was very much as Jesus said, that we must be like children in order to get there. There was something orchestral about it. Funny, too, because he was a great musician. We used to make music decades ago in another life when I was in my 20’s. We lived a few miles apart back in the 90’s, and then I went to graduate school and wound up settling in the opposite end of the state four years later. In 2006 I had the opportunity to invest in real estate in the area, and considered my old stomping grounds in the mountains. The only problem was there was only one building on the market that fit the bill. There just wasn’t anything around to buy…and the one building that worked for what I do was almost directly across the street from my friend. We had a good chuckle about that when I bought the property (just as awakening was taking hold). I eventually moved to the area where I bought the property and here I am today. We had both lived in many different places (him the son of a Joint Chief of the Pentagon, he moved around a lot) but this area we both loved more than anywhere else. Now we were just across the street from each other. How funny. This was not an area that I was looking for property nor did I particularly care to go there…but it was the only building like it on the market in the region. Kismet.

What was fascinating about our interaction was it was an exercise in reaching a certain vibration, which was really only the result of surrender and letting myself “fall” into it deeper and deeper. It’s funny how we talk about changing our vibration in cases like this, but honestly, when I experience things like this, it feels more like opening up my mind and heart, removing the blinders, the barriers to the experience. Why it is I sometimes have resistance, why we as humans have resistance, I don’t know. Maybe it is this fear of being “out of it” and fearing a saber toothed tiger might eat us or something. But that was then and this is now, and so we are learning a new way to be…an old new way, I think you could say. But for me, my friend didn’t just present his earthly persona, he dug deep and inspired me to do the same, apparently. Maybe he didn’t need to dig deep in the state he was in without a body. It was one of the most remarkable experiences…and a lot has been happening on the telepathy front as of late. It reminded me that these states are what the earth needs, people who can reach deep and feel…and then pass it along to the others. I think that when we do this, we begin to realize our potential as beings here. It is like stealing back a bit of heaven to plant it here. I find so much of what I try to do is to help bring that “higher vibration” here to the earth (which is I think simply surrendering to our deeper truer nature). But what we think of as a high vibration is I think being honest with who we are, what we are, and learning to first shed the bullshit programming that we have taken on foolishly in our time here. Even if a million wise guys said it wasn’t good to do this or that….and if the strongest and most powerful parts of ourselves have been shamed in the process I say question what those wise guys say. There is so much activity around wanting to control our creativity, our energy, our inner power.

I am finding that this is getting easier as time goes by, and I think that this is so is because it is actually a natural capability. If I can do this anyone can. You have to reach within, something that many people doesn’t want to do for fear that it comes from a place where it is fabricated or made up. Getting past that and beginning to be open to the possibilities is one of the first steps. The feeling state, the energy body, is the means of receiving and sending these messages. The universe is energetic and so are we.

I wish you were here to share these with me. That will, though, have to wait for another time, maybe another life.

Someone asks about implants or entity attachments. Beyond this, you’ll need to read my book when it’s out.

So much said about these. My observation over years (40) of active energetic sensory perception is that we become vulnerable to energetic entities of every stripe, based on the emotional issues we carry. Read that again and let it sink in. Some can be akin to simple life forms all the way up to bipedal types (but still not all that intelligent). There is alot out there that isn’t physical that is entirely energy beings. Also, some beings are fragments of consciousness. It just takes enough energy focused in a particular way to create them. Homes often have them from their occupants. We call them ghosts, but I don’t think people understand what ghosts are in all truth (not completely…and that’s a post for another time).

Every single case I have seen, the entities attached due to a “trauma” or emotional wrinkle in the psyche of the person. This is always dependent on the person. What hits you wrong might not impact me…at all. This is to say that this is all because of you. Your choice in feeling led to this outcome. As hard as that may be to hear, its true. The good news is by doing your inner work, you can naturally clear these entities by clearing your backlog of emotional material. The other side to all of this is that there is no real protection in a universe as fluid as this. Vibration is everything. If you carry an off vibration somewhere in your field, it can be fair game.

Some have said drug use can cause it, but that isn’t correct. Most drug use stems from a condition of deficiency, a perception of deficiency, even if subconsciously. Something the drug supplies, that the emotion felt, robs the body of. The drug type doesn’t always track the emotion, but rather the personality type determines the drug used. I could experience the same trauma as another person but medicate with a different drug because I have a different constitution or turn of mind.

I have seen one entity daisy-chain with people. It does this because of the law of attraction. One person will attract certain people, and in that circle, many will be interesting to an entity because of the similarities between them. People do flock together.

If you use drugs of any kind, ask yourself what are you medicating? The true answer leads you right to the problem that needs your attention. Feel it, acknowledge it, and let it go, like a spirit leaving a bottle. By doing this, you engage in soul retrieval. Remember not to fall back into the habit of what the drug use represented. If you think that this is too hard, you might have become hypnotized into thinking this work is hard, and you might not be used to using the wisdom or intuitive part of yourself. That part knows where all your shit lies. It’s so easy, you will think, “That can’t be it…that was too easy…” That’s the brain washing. I can go deeper into how this is done, but this would be a chapter in a book.

There are ways to get at this material. Body work (deep tissue massage), energy work, chi gung, cranial sacral, acupressure/puncture, and TRE (trauma release exercise), holotropic breathwork, Rolfing (deep tissue again) are all ways that this material can be released. Kundalini and awakenings in general can often release this material also. You have to be very clear about whether you are ready to let it go.

People hold onto their stuff while swearing they are ready to let it go. Be humble. Be honest with yourself. Some things that feel great are in fact the illusion that a constriction in your field will make something energetic feel more intense and fool you into thinking it is “the bomb” or the thing, the person, the experience. You have to watch closely, honestly, and be able to see how inner feeling relates to how you respond to the things in your environment that are matching that unresolved issue. When it goes, the tight intensity goes and an expansiveness replaces it. It’s good to let it teach you how to be in this part of the new you.

I knew a person who had an entity attached to her. I described the being and she recognized it, saying, “He is my guide!” The being was a text book demon. Red skin. Horns. I was careful to confirm her description of the being. I offered that what I saw was a being just like Hellboy. She agreed that it did look just like him. In another case, I saw the entity which looked like a kind of dragon/dinosaur with terracotta colored skin, male. The person replied that this was her guide also. I had seen this being attached to a well-known psychic and it was attached to many of his female clients. When I offered to the woman that this was what I saw, she threatened me saying that this kind of talk was slander, and saying this could destroy the man’s ability to provide for himself. Stockholm Syndrome, anyone? I suspect both people still have their lower level entities still in place.

I chose not to remove them because I had done this once before and it made life difficult for me. I don’t regret it, I just know there are better ways (hint: it is an inside job). It is much better if the person can be made aware of what might be atrached to them so they can let them go.

I hope this primer helps. There is a lot of nuance I have missed, but posts can get long when I really dig in and I lose people. If you have questions, ask, and if you have experiences, do share! We swim in the ether. The nature of life is that we are made up of aggregates of consciousness. Our bodies are cells that have their own consciousness. Not all of this is bad or negative. The path to your higher evolution is in knowing what hinders you and what helps you.

There are a handful of methods that have been used down through time to liberate the mind from the shackles of its previous life, leading it to a new dawn of self realization. The methods are all very similar and they involve looking within. So we have meditation and there are visualization exercises, too, designed to bring about a condition that happens once this inner switch is flipped.

I hear those who say “you cannot induce awakening intentionally…” but you can. My old friend Jensen, who I spoke to not long ago after not being in touch for close to a decade described his experience for me when he went to a recreation department class on kundalini meditation….and awakened kundalini. I have a close family friend who went to a Vipissana retreat, the method that Guatama Buddha recommended, and it was there that something shifted and her life was forever altered. I had gotten the sense that this old friend had become awakened but wasn’t using terms that described it directly, so I asked her if she had had any remarkable experiences in the last few years. Vipissana is a retreat where one is silent for about ten days and meditates the whole time. Gopi Krishna sat in the early morning hours bidding an energy rise up his spine and it did, forever changing his life from then onward. I was given a meditation technique whose central method was to quiet the mind. I had meditated up to that time for years and no awakening. Once I was given this technique, I had results immediately. Within a week I found myself suffused in a brilliant white light, and wondering what had just happened was enough to cause the brilliance to vanish. I had managed to begin using a part of my mind that was usually shut down so much that I didn’t fully know that it even existed in me. I thought that it existed in other people, that it was something that people developed over lifetimes. While I think there is some truth to this, call it a gradual ripening into a place that is suitable for awakening, I also observe that there is something much like a switch, and one of the ways to it is through meditation. I know that my meditation got me there, because it was only after meditation and the use of hemisync discs that induced a deep theta state, that I entered into a period of high strangeness that culminated in a full rising event of kundalini.

Was I intentionally seeking to awaken kundalini? No. Was I seeking to wake up somehow? Yes. It had been part of my life for many decades before this. I was a seeker after all.

That said, there are people who haven’t used meditative practice to awaken. There are people who woke up in nature, walking down the street, and one case describes being scared to death nearly as the “jolt” that brought on awakening. I wasn’t meditating when kundalini rose, it just happened as an outcome of a process that began much like an automated system produces an end result. All of the changes that took place over the course of five months were autonomous in nature. I was little more than an observer watching and wondering what these sensations were about.

To be clear, not everyone does this. Awakening processes are all very individual and each are unique. Looking back on it the process I was going through was being driven by something inside of me, but I was clueless as to what all of the symptoms meant over those five months. Clearly, I was hallucinating some things…like the voices I heard and the Native American drumming and singing, all may have been psychic energy expressing itself. The dreams, which were like a giant inventory punctuated with brilliant and vivid imagery of water and light and a mysterious language embedded in water and light, made me wonder just what was up.

Some people I have known awakened when they met someone. That in itself was enough to trigger them. In one case, with someone I have interviewed for the site, the person had known the other in another life and they shared a karmic thread, one which they didn’t see for what it was, and was taken by the power of the draw. Ultimately they didn’t resolve their karma together, they each resolved it individually.

Buddha said it right when essentially he said no one makes you feel a certain way or makes you react a certain way. You do. At the root of karma are our honest reactions and feelings. Some feelings are based in beliefs and thinking that are not aligned to our truer higher selves. Is it something that the cosmic judge will put us away for forever? There appears to be no such judge, save for our own inner compass. In NDE’s the only person judging the person was themselves, and no one, not a one, being sent to hell. Yes, there are accounts of people going to a dark place they thought was hell, but pay attention to the account of the NDE closely: in every case the person winds up in the light.

In my research it appears that awakening is essentially like a near death experience in that there is a communion with the energy that represents “the light.” Not all awakenings involve a white light like mine did. Some involve vibration, heat, sound, or other representations of energy. At the end of the day, this is what out minds and bodies are trying to explain to ourselves or to interpret, which is that awakening is at its core an energetic event. Along with these events can come karmic relationships, and they wind up being powerful movers sometimes. But for as powerful as they are for inspiring change, often the change is limited in all truth. It is, though, enough for most people. It “gets your attention” as one person once explained it to me. It certainly does. But beyond that, what does it materially do? I myself really thought I had to work something out with this person who I had karma with. I even knew what the karma was, as I have seen most of the karmas from others who I have known who were like this.

We think that it is something we create together, but in truth, we don’t. All of the karma that I ever worked through was always something that I worked out on my own. It is rare to find someone who is as engaged as you are in wanting to work through the same set of issues as yourself. My “twin” often went into meltdowns when I tried to push the energy to begin clearing our karma. Something inside of her simply resisted it. She wasn’t ready. No harm no foul. And sitting alone, a number of years later, I thought that I had to work it out with her, and in so doing, or trying to do it, I asked her what it was she needed from me. Her response surprised me. “This awakening helped me so much. It changed my life and kept it from being ordinary…and I am a better person for it. What do I need from you? I don’t need anything from you: I am happy!”

And just like that, it was done. Poof. The karmic threads fell away. But what was it that did it? What was holding up the train? My feelings were holding up the train, that’s what. I thought there was something I needed to do. There was nothing I needed to do. It could have been over years earlier, but I labored under the false assumption that we had to do this together. It’s a good thing that I reached back to her all those years later (seven years later in fact), because if I hadn’t, I might still be feeling this draw created by the charge of feeling like I owed someone something or that something wasn’t finished right or done. Except that it was in everyone’s mind but mine.

You might be like this somewhere and you don’t even know it. You might be taken in by the love that you feel. It’s good to feel it, but I can tell you it wont take you anywhere significant because the force is for your change, not anyone else. In order to go anywhere significant with another in such a rarefied environment, you need to be exactly the same and respond and want in exactly the same way. This experience makes you think that you are one, that you are twins. Yes, we are ALL ONE, we are, but goodness sakes, we also have free will and individuality and for as much as the Advaita people want to say it, self is real and ego serves an important purpose in learning while here. That means that individuality is the real wild card.

I have tried to help so many people over the years and what I have found is that the bulk of the advice was unheeded or not acted on. And you know what, it’s perfect because at the end of the day a person has to be ready to see their lessons in front of them. In fact they have to own them before they see them.

A teacher once told me to be careful about telling someone something they weren’t ready to hear because most often people will reject perfectly good advice because it comes from the outside. Not all information from the outside is bad. In fact, we each have blinders about our issues in life. A close friend can see our junk so much easier for the simple reason that it isn’t theirs and that they don’t have the same blinders. But after that, as for what to do or how to do it, fagetaboutit! It really has to be an inside job from there on out. But listen to your friends when they are trying to waive you off the runway when you are trying to take your jet full-throttle across the runway. They might just be seeing the tire that is flat that you doggedly are refusing to look at. And yes, that is a metaphor… But even more importantly are the people who think they have insight into your life when they don’t, when their insight is little more than their own beliefs wrapped up in such a way that they are fooled into thinking what they have created is genuine. Already two such people have described events they knew to be real when there was nothing to them…at all. They convince themselves they are psychic and so they are…no matter what. They may have been at some point, but somewhere something happened. It’s a bit like the Hollywood psychic saying, “I see a woman in your life right now…” with the respondent saying, “Yeah, no woman in my life, nope…” Only to be followed with, “I see you received a promotion!”

“I’m self employed, so no promotions really…” Humility and self honesty are critical components to this. Mercy…where was I?

The most successful methods shut down thought and keep you present and aware. You aren’t shutting down, you are shutting down the monkey mind. When that happens, you are that much closer to the recognition that takes place that everyone experiences, which is nonduality, the awareness and experience that everything is One and everything is connected. Kundalini, is one step further than that where the portion of consciousness that is able to understand what nonduality feels like then takes it one step further and beings a process of churning consciousness in the hopes that something breaks free. While the Hindu systems of yoga and meditative practices all say do this work before you awaken Westerners simply do not do this work. the good news is that kundalini itself will cleanse the system the Hindu call nadi, and much of the fireworks you read about as it relates to awakening in the West is attributed to clearing that kundalini can do. Nadi are seen as channels in the body that carry prana. The meridian system in Chinese medicine maps out the same energy even though it is called chi (qi). Going back lifetimes, the idea of union within was learned through the systems alive in various cultures I have lived in that have ritual forms of union like hieros gamos in its many different incarnations. In this there is implicit an understanding of awakening since they involve elements that are identical to one another.

After attempting to awaken and not succeeding, what is missing may be your being ripe for the experience. When someone I know attempted to force an awakening years ago, I was witness to someone who was off her rocker for most of the time. It sounds harsh, but it was true. Was this person always this way, I wondered? Maybe. Or maybe what kundalini did was to drive the shadow out into the light….with the exception that this person wasn’t letting go. She just wasn’t ready. Friends questioned whether she had actually had a real awakening. It was real, even if she forced it by utilizing my energy in the etheric. And on the flip side you can have someone who wants to awaken and despite all efforts, they just don’t or can’t. Any number of hurdles stand before them. You can lead a horse to water, but we all must learn to drink ourselves. The woman I knew in 500 B.C. had in her an inability to be happy where she was. Other than that, she was an incredible person. That pattern is still playing out today and there is nothing that I can do to change it, and now I am at peace with it being that way. She will change once she knows that it is an issue for her and can really see it for herself. Telling her it is an issue would likely cause her to get upset and angry, even go into denial. She has to figure it out on her own. She has to get to that place where she really think that she was the one who had it all figured out (even though people may have been trying to tell her this for years…who knows really if that is so, but these things have a way of happening like this) And really, that is good because waking up is about growing up spiritually. It will only ever work when we take those steps to the water ourselves.

Awakening isn’t a mystery though…not as deep a mystery as we would like it to be. We may not always understand it, but it is a phenomenon tied closely to our consciousness (because it is a function of it) and as such it is not some exotic phenomenon. It isn’t for the lucky few, the elite or chosen. It is a state that everyone can experience when they are ready. I once tried to explain this to a friend and I said to her that awakening is like a second puberty, a growth into a new state of being. You are still you but this energy has helped to divest you of a lot of the programming that was cast into you since infancy. And to what end? To know more of the truth both of reality and of ourselves.

Ever have dreams of people who you do things with? When I was younger, I had dreams of helping people who were dying or who had just died, to cross over and to get settled in their new environment. I also was paired with a woman my age who I had never met for some of these jobs.

I think this points to how we really are multidimensional: our existances aren’t these linear progressions that we thought. We are the angels and devils both.

I wish I could tell you about what I feel. There are no words to contain this. I do try, though. My being is a swirl of bliss if I let the reflexive thoughts stop. That bliss would make me blush, running red-faced from the room. Hours have been spent lying down, unmoving, caught in the grace and transcendent wonder as worlds would shift and move through me like some cosmic broadcast. We are all like radios, I thought. I would realize my capacity for realizing dimensional aspects of reality and the Source which I could not explain using words was the best way for grasping this new realm of experience. It was curious, too, how just a look could contain it all. This is perhaps why love is so powerful because at this level, it may be one of the few states that can contain and be aware of the multitudes inherent in reality. Feeling, I found, was how the universe lives and breathes (and responds to you) while the rational was designed to be limited because the feeling mind isn’t. Like man and wife, they compliment each other. I became a lover, but one who, in time, was content to be alone, the beloved alive in my heart.

I was shown that this love was not divided out but included all forms. Like every Christian mystic, I was found wed to God, or like yogis deep in a trance of samadhi, I made the realization that love is the way. People don’t know this but in Luke Jesus uses three different forms of love to ask Peter if he loves him. One of the forms of love was erotic love. This passage was mistranslated by scribes in order to obfuscate the true meaning. Most Christians just think Jesus is trying to point out that Peter denied him three times. That wasn’t what was happening at all. Jesus was describing a love or encompassing a love that included all loves into one. It was not divided like my love, it was all of it in one go. Somewhere the power of this teaching got lost and there is not more about it in any of the sources coming down to us. Whether Jew or Hindu, the experience is the same. It was so for me, as well.

A friend and I spoke for the first time recently about my experience and he asked what it was like. It was the first time I had ever tried to explain it to a person who hasn’t awakened. I tried as simple and direct an approach as I could, saying, “You know that moment when you can feel the point of no return in orgasm?” He nods. “I feel that as a spiritual and physical energy all the time.” My friend said what I thought he would, which was, “That’s gotta be frustrating!” I replied, “At first it was. We are taught that we have to throw this energy away. I learned that when that energy accumulated, a thresh hold was crossed where this energy began healing me, transforming me. I could have become desperate, and sometimes I am, but it’s like the energy is there offering a chance for transmuting it where this unspeakable mystery is found…”

I feel like I have been disabused of my old habit of feeling, which is to always think of bliss as just sexual. It’s funny how the sexual bliss is the door to another finer state. It’s quite something. Maybe I’m not like Gautama Buddha who was said to have found solace in being able to feel such bliss without a partner. I am singular and happy, but we are social creatures who I don’t think have found peace with having intimate relationships while being so “spiritual.” There’s always someone who thinks this is about being a guru or a teacher and then the old memes get dragged out and it becomes a show. Maybe we just aren’t ready for this to enter all aspects of our lives. Such capable levels of deep communion can be scary sometimes. I get it. I’m still sitting here catching up with how awe inspiring nature is. Talk about the ultimate technology of the gods..

It’s been worth it to have been through so much. I stuck with it, stone by stone, grain by grain. After a few years I turned around and found my mountain had moved. Everything seemed so big at the beginning. It was like living in a blizzard of energy. Instinctively I knew my job was to drive the energy higher in order to…..to what? I soon learned what. I availed myself of every opportunity, every method, every happy accident and synchronicity that led to a release. I was in the belly of the dragon for years. There were times in the first few years when it all seemed bleak, but persistence has paid off.

I will also add, there are more things to heal, but the difference now is I don’t feel defeated by them. Every single thing dealt with was like acruing some cosmic grace that never went away. I have found great solace in this. I also found myself drifting away from “normal” human understanding. I fit less and less. That too was an adjustment. I would feel out of sorts, but then find a new angle with which to be able to relate to people I know and love.

Twenty four years ago I was awakened out of sleep by the angelic being who had appeared in my room only weeks before and I was told at four in the morning to go outside. There in the dark, he said “Look over here..” and motioned to the woods. There I saw a long hallway open up, kind of like something out of a Maurice Syndak story where the boy’s bedroom slowly turned into the wild outdoors. This hallway began tilting downward uneasily as I heard my guide say, “This lifetime is the conduit through which lifetimes may be healed or redeemed.” That hallway was shaken like a bag of potato chips to get the last bits out that were left. I was being shown how this would go and that my guide had been there since my birth, “Watching over you.” I realized the next day that this had happened on Good Friday.

Maui

Since then, I have been reminded, like on my trip to Maui, that I am the “doctor” for my soul. I was connected almost immediately to a past life on Maui with a man who had become stuck, mired in a poor definition of what being male was all about, and in a fifteen minute direct experience while driving along the coast, I was able to telepathically show him the way to feel. This was a past life of mine that was unfolding very quickly. He was taught to be the tough guy who didn’t talk about his feelings to the point that he was miserable. When I hear about “toxic masculinity” I think about how little our culture really understands how the culture carves out behavioral niches that are not natural or healthy for men (or women). A lot of toxic masculinity is the result of cultural expectations put onto men that are not natural. But what man feels like he can emote and not have his woman feel her stomach turning or feeling like her man is weak…because we misjudge just how attracted we are to these programmed responses. Men are silent strong and quiet. We support and the quieter we are the better. Don’t talk about your feelings as you really feel about them (millions of men quietly wanting to explode from holding it in or so disconnected from feeling that they don’t even know what the heck their feelings even are)/ While being the mute male sure makes women feel secure, it is making men neurotic in the same sort of way that women have difficulties with unrealistic expectations put on them as well. Okay, so in that moment I could enter his heart and show him how to feel, to bring in what he could not allow himself to feel (which he really needed but equated with being feminine or being weak). Immediately, there is this expansion, this joy that was completely new and then this guy lying in his hammock began crying for the first time in decades in his hammock. Crying because his life had been made into a kind of emotional sepia tone image. When I reached him, there was a tear coming down his eye already, but it was not a tear of feeling deeply, it was more the tear of a man who had been put into a vice and then crushed for about forty years. He had been holding it all in for so long and he was miserable. And with those tears, his hardness was gone. It bled out of him like puss from a wound. I had to pull over to cry, to let all that emotion out and to move it along so I didn’t get stuck, too. To him, my past life gentleman, I was like an ancestor spirit coming to him to give him that good medicine. Me, I just knew right where to go to find him perhaps at his worst point in time. I just had this feeling like I had to go to Maui, but not for the reasons other people go there. It felt like I really needed to go to get something done or to see something…it wasn’t really clear. It was ironic, too, because there he was, dressed in traditional Hawaiian garb, lying in a hammock near the beach, looking at the sunset in what most would describe as paradise, and he could not have been more miserable. All of this was done by way of feeling, and being open. Truth is, I don’t know much, a lot of this involves me being led by a more capable self. So when my guide showed me all of those doors in that hallway and explained how this life would be a life where I would be able to clear and cleanse my soul going back lifetimes, he wasn’t kidding. It has been quite the ride and there have been no dull moments. I am glad I am alone because if I were to describe this to a “normal” person, I would likely wind up in a hospital.

I do a lot of listening inwardly and outwardly…and I also realize that I have a turn of mind that allows me great flexibility emotionally so that I can be what these past selves need me to be in order to get over their own humps, glitches, and limits. Every time this happens I feel as if I am rewriting the past and improving the present and future lifetimes and timelines. While its hard to travel physically through time, your consciousness can travel back with ease! I can only imagine the ripple effects this will have. Has this ever played through your mind, the implications of this work? If nothing else, I was able to help a number of people in my soul, all past lives and one future lifetime, to reap greater reward through this awakening. No matter what happens, the ripple effects will be spreading out through time and consequence…

Sometimes I tell my higher self that I’d like to help others, too, but it tells me that in my evolutionary spiral, it is better to help myself so that in other lifetimes my purpose can be dedicated solidly with serving others.

There was a time when meditation was tricky. I would drift into another energy state, but it never went anywhere. I wondered what I was doing wrong. Only after opening up this powerful energy did I realize how solid our “veils” in consciousness can be. The rise of kundalini found me pierced from bottom to top seven times. It was as though I had been pierced and opened so that the flood waters from the cosmic could come in. They did. I had to navigate tsunami waves. It wasn’t always easy. With practice and familiarity, it got easier.

Sometimes “it” felt like a challenger, but it wound up an ally. It depended on what I brought to it. After months of struggle, the same struggle over five months, something finally clicked and everything went quiet. I mean to say, no thoughts. It was as novel a condition as weightlessness might be the first time in the body. After that, a great peace was available to me. I will also say that despite such a wonderful outcome, I would find plenty of instances where I would choose to be upset about something! We are so very human. Note to self: you can become a yogi overnight but you will still have to pay the rent…

I think that I think differently now. I rely on the grace of the universe saving me sometimes. It is tricky to be both Mr. Cosmic and Mr. Business at the same time. When I rely on God or the universe, it always seems to work out perfectly. A customer who is used to worrying about things, was put off by my peaceful demeanor recently. It was funny because she was speaking as though the thing out of place with me was this devil may care attitude that I seemed to have. Perhaps there is this idea that artists starve, that it’s a problem and since I am an artist, that is what must be happening. It isn’t happening, lol! “It must be so hard for you as an artist…” people often have said, and I kind of roll my eyes because it isn’t that way at all. It is a business like any other.

People incorrectly think that this is me not caring, which is my bliss state, when I care very much. I just don’t care to think about or worry about the same things other people worry about. I get how the visionaries tend to all get killed: they are no longer bound by the same steering forces and are no longer governable or controllable. People can look at you funny… It’s been worth it though.

It’s worth it to see my breath, so full of bliss, enter this world. I pray that it can be a gift to someone somewhere. I am not much of an evangelist…no religion, or guru to be found. I find I am just as J. Krishnamurti was on his pathless path. When you rely on yourself, an abundance of wisdom makes itself available to you. The more you rely on it the greater the wisdom that pours forth. We aren’t aware of the deep well of knowing that is available to us. You are one life among many. You are a child to a still-larger self. You exist outside of time. You are instantly god-realized in that part of you outside of time…and it then seems to be the task of these selves to realize their own divine lineage. Everyone is like this, I think. The answer seems to be found in our becoming limited in order to learn the most precious lessons, which often is about how to experience limitation and to touch one thing at a time, rather than constantly embracing the All in such an all-encompassing state.

All the work has been worth it. Keep at it. Follow your gut and heart while remaining open. If you can feel something with all your heart, that something will come. It seems like it takes forever, but every single ounce of it is accounted for and as the load drops, the soul becomes light. The bliss, which we once thought was to be used, or even thrown away, is now seen as The Way, a part of who we are. Instead of rising and falling, it is steady now. Hardly anything lessens it now. I am glad to have been able to show one person the way to bliss. If we all did that, the world would be a much better place. I talked to their soul about it and in one week the switch was flipped. I pray it has remained. If we can each do this, we would have a better, more peaceful world, perhaps.

It gets better. Stick with it. Surrender. Be a devotee. Within you is all the wonder you could ever imagine. Your divine parentage makes it so.

All My Love,

~ Parker

Not around, but through. Don’t resist, let yourself feel what you had refused yourself. For all the reasons. Trust the innate goodness of your heart and your soul.

Let it flow through you, no worries about what might happen. Let it happen.

We often let go best when we feel into it without that reflexive grasp. Why do we do that?

It’s a mystery. Let them be mysteries and away they will go.

Does being reminded of what doesn’t align to the one true light help? Or does it remind you of what you aren’t here for?

I wish you all the great works in whatever way they work for you. In the end, it will be about a love that knows no boundaries nor limits, and confounds so many rules we have made to try and control and contain it.

Breathe it in, let it through, this is how all sacred flames are kindled.

Inanna

Many years ago I came across a writing that was attributed to a goddess named Inanna. In it she was asking for her lover, Demuzi, to come and make love to her. While reading this ancient poem, I felt the echo of awareness present in that ancient tradition with the power that is within awakening, which I contend, is the result of a unity of the opposites of our nature (and the hemispheres in our brain). I shared it with a friend at the time who was knee-deep in the concept of divine union and she agreed that it was an important chapter. That was about 2010.

Fast forward to 2017. I am corresponding with someone who I suspected I had known whose work I had read online a few times and wound up having a most unusual dream about. Driven by a sense of familiarity, I found that there had been something there, but where and when, I had no idea. Instead of trying to shoe-horn it into a narrative, I did what I do nowadays: I waited. One evening while checking on my glass furnaces in the studio, I heard in my mind a clear voice that said “He was a lead general in the army of a king…” This was my first bread-crumb and it did what tantalizing lead-ins always do: it opened my intuitive faculties wide. Suddenly I saw a space, a bedroom and a window that looked out onto a courtyard. Details rose up spontaneously all around me. There were no glass windows, but shutters. I saw here there, tall and willowy, but dark and rich in body tone and skin. She wasn’t from here, I knew, she was from further North…maybe closer to Turkey, I thought. How I knew all of this, I couldn’t tell you. I later learned that what I was seeing was very much on-point. There she was, like a message from the past, one iteratiin amongst many, and many frustrated until I learned that it’s not my job to pull people out of their own tar pits. Still…there is this love that always moves us to want to help. “They have to grasp what helping themselves mean. Until then, they remain conflicted and in desire.”

The building was massive and tall, and my take was that this was a palace, although this would make it an ancient palace built in a desert country. When I thought about where this was, I found that I could feel it out. Was it Arab? No. Turk? No. Certainly not Persian. Not Judean. Not Roman. Not Greek. And then as I felt into it, there arose a clear thought: “This was in Babylon.” Iraq. Assyrian. Aruk, Ur….I began to see moments, like snapshots, from that life. How dry the land was and what lengths I went to to see that water got hauled up to the palace for bathing and for growing flowers and plants for my wife (later I would learn that we were king and queen of this patch of desert) was testimony to the care present. Yes it was a desert, but I will make it into a garden…

Fast forward two more years and I was doing much the same again, checking on my furnaces late at night, and in a quiet moment, thinking about the memories of this time in Babylon. Up until that moment this memory was completely anonymous, a kind of ghost, something I could not prove one way or the other. As I crossed the floor of the studio in the exact location where I had received the first clue, I received another, which was like hearing a conversation that had been interrupted for a couple of years which I was now getting to hear in its entirety. It went just like this: “….He was a general to a king, who then became king.” With that one extra detail, that one extra data point, a trove of information began to take shape. I had seen the room, I had seen outside. I saw a cast bronze “keeper” that held the shutters open that looked like a bit like a star with many points. I later looked this detail up and saw the same image depicted on relief carvings of the royal family of that time—it was star anise, an herb used in cooking at that time. It was so revered that it made its way into all manner of decoration, it turned out.

I saw plants growing stories below in the courtyard, a place I knew they would not have normally grow. Great effort was made to keep this garden alive in this desert land. I saw myself, what I looked like, a dark-haired man with a barrel chest who was busy keeping a kingdom going. What I realized, too, was with the addition of “..and who became king” I might be able to find this man since serving as a general to a king and then becoming king was akin to finding a unicorn. Commoners, who might serve under a king, hardly ever rise to a royal station themselves. How often does that happen? Right. Incredibly rare, if it happens at all. So I looked it up.

There were plenty of generals that served under Assyrian kings, but there was only ever one general who went on to become king of present day Iraq. That man was the father to a king who was written about in the Old Testament Bible as Nebuchadnezzar II. His father, Nabopolassar, had ascended to the throne by way of what looks to have been a coup, a moment when the new heir to the throne showed some ambivalence about taking power. That was the man I saw in a bronze mirror. It was in that gap that I stepped in and essentially said, to heck with this. We need to take our country back.

At this time in its history, which was around 620 B.C., Babylon was ruled by a king from another region. Babylon was effectively being occupied by those who were not native to the land, Assyrians. Nabopolassar roused his troops, offered them positions in the new government if they helped him topple the heirs to the throne after the king Ashurbanipal died, and achieved it.

The most important take-away from that life was how important it is to appreciate what it is that you have and what you have built. I saw how people, despite how easy they had it, were unhappy creatures, and it has underlined to me today how solitary some journey’s are. While we always want others by our side, there is also an element of the solitary vision that is part of this interesting duality which seems to seek to evolve itself in the breach between the two polarities.

I also knew that my wife, my Queen, knew about sacred union of the kind that was practiced in those days. This was known later as heiros gamos, which is essentially how the ancients “let in” the gods and goddesses onto our plane of existence. This practice would be described or explained as fertility rites where the god and goddess join in union with the king and queen in order to help bring the rains or fertility to the fields. You see this same imagery in the Arthurian legend, for example. In that culture, Beltane was itself a practice whereupon the people would go out into the fields to practice ritual sex because it was believed that this brought fecundity to the crops and guaranteed a good harvest. As I read about the culture at this time sure as shooting, the King and Queen would take part in ritual sex, the heiros gamos, each season as part of their religious ceremonies. Why not all the people? Why just the King and his Queen or a temple priestess? This is something that I have wondered about for ages to be honest because I have always seen this as a fault in our psychological DNA. It is always an authority who told us what was what, or who performed the important rituals. Even today we want others to do this kind of work for us: to tell us the truth, the way to go, the way to meditate, the way to wake up, or once awakened tell me what’s what….just hold my hand and please tell me what to do and where to go!

Why is that? And yes, I was certainly part of that. It may be one reason why I stand for individuality today to the degree that I do. “No guru, no method…” has been my very Van Morrison-esque mantra. All I needed was my Queen, the one whose very presence was electric, whose presence crackled with this magnetic quality born out of knowing herself. It was this person who I instantly recognized today in the writings online of a person I didn’t even know. It was like a needle in a haystack kind of experience…except there are no accidents. What I learned though was how important it was to let others be where they are and not feel like I have to be with them because we were together in the past. Not everyone is the right match either. The desire for energetic connections is very seductive, but without a day to day anchoring in the physical, these unions are like plants that grow reedy and thin like grass under a pail that gets little sun….it arcs toward what it thinks is the light and the energy of the creative gets ever stronger because that is how we are, we are creative beings, so the energy seems stronger but it is because it is trying so hard to reach completion. “Not this time, apparently” said the voice in the back of my heart. So you let it be a grand love but it is one that cannot manifest in the present. In that was an important lesson to me today. It might have been a lesson on offer back then, too, because sometimes our patterns can follow us for thousands of years and through countless lifetimes. I just can’t see how living this way would make anyone happy. Luckily, it is only mind to wonder and not to know. Peace be with the past.

In the wake of this, I have been a little more interested in Babylonian culture and history. What I know about it encompasses what is taught about in Sunday school and touched on in early elementary school, which was how Nebuchadnezzar II created a new dynasty or empire. I realized recently that the poem of Inanna about her lover Demuzi was in fact Babylonian, and I was reminded of my memories. I looked up Inanna and began to realize that she was an incredibly important goddess, a goddess that would be copied by other cultures and would become the Great Mother in Western regions. When you read about Inanna and the hymns written to you, the sense is that the Babylonian culture revered the feminine. I do wonder about this, though. In India, there are more goddesses than gods in their pantheon of deities and yet the culture remains mired in a class system that has a built-in misogyny. I suspect, though, that these beliefs or images emerge through very real beliefs held at one time or another, as cultures tend to be a kind of amalgam of centuries worth of movements that come and go much like clothing styles do. Each leave their mark on the cultural memory of the people such that a period a thousand years ago of fervent reverence for the feminine may be eclipsed, or diluted by other concerns that come along later. I suspect culture, then, is a giant patch-work or anthology of different views and concerns that are the result of particular periods in time.

For Inanna, she appears to be nearly everything to the people of Ur in 600 B.C. and earlier Babylon. What is so interesting is how the name sagurra or even sakura is associated with Inanna’s name in the scholarly works. It looks like to me that sagurra or sakura (as it is alternatively referred to) may be part of her name, but a part that most Westerners don’t know about. These are a bit tricky to find because there has been so many thousands, hundreds of thousands, in fact, clay tablets that have been unearthed that span thousands of years worth of Babylonian culture. Many were carted off by the British and lie in vaults, photographed along with their accession data, but without translation. Many of these tablets were little more than shopping lists, or inventories to aid in keeping records. In some, however, important cultural details are included. The use of sagurra/sakura is curious and there is no explanation about the significance of this name or designation, or its background. This was found in the article published by De Gruyter in 2009 by Åke W Sjöberg Entitled In-nin sagurra. A Hymn to the Goddess Inanna by the en-Priestess Enheduanna

I often wonder if light language as it is termed isn’t in some way tied to this epoch in history. I know it may sound odd, but there is a story about the universality of language that exists in the Old Testament Bible, and that story is tied to the Babylonian culture. What I suspect is that this story is itself an old memory about how language could be made to be universal through speaking in tongues, something referred to as glossolalia.

When I first heard someone speak in tongues in this way, I found, surprisingly, that I could understand parts of what was being said. What I found was happening was that the nonsense of the language made it impossible for me to use my logical mind to tease out the details, and the less rational and larger-seeing part of my mind was then engaged. I found, quite to my surprise, that I felt like I knew what was being said, but it wasn’t because I understood what the person was saying in terms of an easily decoded vocabulary. Instead, nothing was known about this language, but it was (again, I suspect) the sing-song quality of the language that put me into an altered state which had the effect of opening up my own innate telepathic abilities. Otherwise, none of this encounter made any sense to me. I had this whole dialog in my mind that I somehow “got” as a result of hearing this woman speaking in this language…and it was pretty crazy because of what happened next…

Later, the person who was speaking in this language told me what she was going through, and what she was describing in her language, I was stunned to find that I had picked up on all of the main points that she had been “saying” despite the fact that her language had no reference to English or any other language that I am myself familiar with. What I am suggesting when it comes to light language, which I suspect is the very same thing as glossolalia or speaking in tongues, is that the sounds of the language access certain parts of our minds which are naturally intuitive and psychic and those pathways are opened up through the process of speaking in this way. I also suspect that this is an old capacity that we as humans have had and I also suspect that this is what is behind the story of the Tower of Babel, except with a twist.

“Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.'” (Genesis 11:4)

I point this out because what it does is it helps to show that we have had periods in our past when we were more developed psychically than we may realize today with our languages that serve to so narrow down experience as to make accessing these numinous realms impossible. What we need, spirit suggests, is a language that can open us up to our larger innate potential, and I suspect that what most people would call “nonsense languages” are precisely what is necessary. If you talk to someone who is familiar with light language you will likely find that what they say is not a normal language in the way that we think of it today, but in some cases is a language that has the capacity to convey states of being or energetic states and feeling states in a single word or term without the customary descriptions that take place with languages that we use today. A word in light language can act as a key to open the soul or energy body to a certain experience. This language, then, can work as a triggering device, a kind of soulful technology that uses sound and “words” but in a completely different way. I suspect, since language is always contained and processed in the left brain in humans, that this language is a language that is used by the right brain and as such does not have the same kinds of rules pertaining to it as English, French, Arabic, or Persian does. It is interesting, too, because Hebrew contains within it what appears to be a memory of this concept for how words could cause things to happen in consciousness. In Genesis certain Hebrew letters were used to spell out the creation. If you dig deep into the Hebrew language you see that there are all kinds of references made to each letter (such as a numerical counterpart for instance) and this all gets very mystical very quickly. When I say this, I mean to say that it looks like Hebrew may have been used in the distant past as a language for speaking to the soul directly.

At this time in antiquity, all the people spoke the same language and their minds were befuddled so that they could no longer understand each other. I find this interesting. is this the memory of an age-old capacity that we have had for a very long time to understand this type of language regardless of the language that we ourselves speak? Additionally, it is commonly known in Christianity how the Holy Ghost is what brings on the speaking in tongues. The Holy Ghost was known to be the feminine aspect with the Godhead and that godhead was not found outside a person but was inside of them. The implications of this knowledge, then, are immense, and also is congruent with the work that I am doing on Early Christianity and how the early dogma started out as something quite different….before it began to be changed or misunderstood or misconstrued. That, though is for another time, but it is interesting that the feminine is found here in all of this because the feminine itself is the quality in each person and is found in the nonlinear right brain. It was in bringing the union of the two opposites together that sacred union was known within the person, this is literally the genesis of being resurrected, or reborn, and also of kundalini, which was being taught in the earliest day of Christianity (yes really). All of this is to point to how the feminine is in all of us and can be honored and brought forward. It is literally the missing link in ecstatic experience and in enlightenment. This is the opposite end of the electrical circuit, not switched into the “on” position.

It is interesting, too, to note that the person who is credited as being involved in the building of the Tower in Genesis was a man named Nimrod. When we look in Babylonian accounts, we cannot find a similar character as the Jewish tradition describes, but what the story does do in Genesis is to explain that Nimrod was one of the first Babylonian kings. What I suspect is that there was a memory of the babylonians having a means for speaking to others who didn’t speak their native tongue and this became, over time, to be thought of as a universal language that all people spoke (and that might be true in a certain sense: we may have had a much greater facility for glossolalia in our past). This story might help to chronicle how human beings fell away from using this inner language of the soul that was a kind of nonlinear and non-rational language. All of this in a place where a goddess was revered.

All of this may look like a giant rabbit hunt (first one path then another), but what I suspect is that as you go back through time you reach periods when the goddess was revered. When that happens, I contend, you find a culture that is much more mobile in its consciousness. Men, revering women, are much more ready to see how the qualities we ascribe to women are also in the male, and vica versa. Inanna was seen as a goddess of love, nurture and sex….but she was also seen as a goddess who could make war. She was a goddess that could make the rain showers come to help plants thrive while also sending storms that could also destroy. If we go back far enough, we likely see a time when the priestesses of Inanna spoke in this language which some call light language in order to reach the states and to convey the information that they would bring back from those alternate states of mind. It is interesting, too, because the priestesses of Inanna would use a drum in their work and it is well known now that certain drum beat frequencies can induce different brain states. It is possible to go into an alternate brain state, such as a theta state through drumming alone. When we see drumming in so-called primitive cultures we also find visionary work being done. Many shamanic cultures utilize drumming or repetitive sound within certain frequencies in order to induce the brain states necessary to begin accessing what many call “vision space.” This space is marked by the lack of any reference to time and as such one could easily see or sense the presence of shamans in that space from other times and places, even thousands of years past or hence. Amongst the Lakota it is observed that when one cries for a vision, the place they enter is the same space that all other visionaries have been. This isn’t because the Lakota have unlocked something special for themselves alone. They recognize something that many other cultures also have recognized, which is what we might call a “field” of nonlocality that has more to do with states of mind as a “location” over their being a “space” in spirit. As such those who long for the days of the Goddess can find themselves very close to her in alternate states of mind….something that is happening to a greater degree today with all of the awakenings.

I will also point out that the Goddess, in whatever form you might take her, represents at the level of the archetype, a quality not just in women but qualities in consciousness itself. When we take the archetype of Shakti and Shiva we see a description of the potentiating of the left and right brains, of the logic (male) and the nonlinear nonlogical (feminine) parts of the human physiology regardless of sex. As such, kundalini, depicted as these two sexual forces (opposites) rise upward to join in union because when the two opposite forces in consciousness reach union it feels orgasmic, hence the reference to men and women as one. In the early Christian mythos, the father and mother join together to create the third, the Christ, in what is seen as a divine syzygy, which is described androgynous and capable of drawing from both sides of the self. These systems are describing not a sexual quality but a spiritual one since both men and women both can experience both sides of this dynamic. This is not a desexualization of the person but instead a drawing together of the two opposite forces (as contained and processed by the left and right brain in both men and women) which results in all of the lights and sounds and explosive qualities that we generally ascribe to kundalini. This is why the twin serpents meeting at the crown were used to describe the experience in the Hindu tradition. The Buddha, upon awakening, expressed joy that he could feel this level of bliss because it mean that the didn’t need to be with a woman in order to achieve this. That was one person, though, and I find that path uninteresting to say the least, but it does speak to what this energy can do. The images below are from present day France, are preChristian and show a man who has developed control over the serpent, his own vital force and energy. This has brought him into a harmony with all life around him.

When we see the goddesses along with the gods you typically will find a spectrum of ecstatic experience and an awareness of what we call awakening. Curious, isn’t it? There is evidence that this was known in Europe with the imagery of the Cernunos, which was found in Gaul (present day France). In Ireland, snake imagery was tied to vital force and was throughout the culture, despite St Patrick’s efforts to “drive them into the sea.” Early Christian imagery contained many references to the serpent in Ireland, just so long as the locals didn’t admit that they were anything other than the one who deceived Adam and Eve in the garden. In the case of the Cernunos, the man is shown in a number of depictions holding a serpent and no other animal.

In ancient cultures the serpent represented vital force and an energy in human beings tied to a mystic realization. So universal was it that we see the serpent even being used in Asia and Meso-america under the same banner as elsewhere. In the case of Quetzalcoatl, the serpent would consume the human in order to take it on journeys of the spirit. On the one hand the serpent could be problematic, but on the other, for one who had mastered it, a path to the divine.

It was Moses who also “raised the serpent” in the desert. We are told that the cast brass depiction of a serpent on a staff was enough to cure snake bites, but it may be that this is an old memory of a time when people were being awakened and by meditating on the image of the serpent, they could complete the process of ascension and find relief since the “serpent” of awakening rises (just as it can also fall or expand out into awareness). It seems unlikely that a person could look at such an image and be cured of snake bites. I suspect that the origins of this action on the part of Moses was lost to the average person and so their best guess has prevailed (albeit one that doesn’t make a lot of sense). The point being that where these images are found we find ecstatic experience and a greater awareness of ourselves as energetic beings that exist beyond this one world. The curtain of perception is pulled back, intuition increases, and insight grows. Since the feminine qualities in consciousness are part of this, we would expect to see female imagery, perhaps in the form of forces in nature or in animals or expressed as a woman herself. In the case of Inanna, she was seen as pretty much the whole kit and kaboodle. The hymn in part follows.

You alone are majestic, you have renown, heaven and earth…..not….You rival An and Enlil, you occupy their seat of honour. You are pre-eminent in the cult places, you are magnificent in your course…..The great gods kissed the earth and prostrated themselves. The high mountain land, the land of cornelian and lapis lazuli, bowed down before you.” And then a few paragraphs later: “…mercy and pity are yours, Inanna….To cause the heart to tremble,…..illnesses are yours, Inanna. To have a wife….to love…are yours, Inanna. To rejoice, to control…are yours Inanna. Neglect and care, raising and bowing down are yours Inanna. To build a house, to create a woman’s chamber, to possess implements, to kiss a child’s lips are yours, Inanna. To run, to race, to desire and to succeed are yours Inanna. To interchange with the brute and the strong and the weak and the powerless is yours Inanna.”

SOURCE: https://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/section4/tr4073.htm

Additionally, Inanna (Sumerian) is also referred to as Ištar (Akkadian) who is also tied to the morning star Venus. She has an aspect that is dual: she is a nurturer, but she is warlike. In many ways she is a study in contrasts, and it appears to me that her many faces are the result of how the people felt they needed to invest her with qualities that the people themselves wanted to possess.

She is included in the epic of Gilgamesh as a lover who he ultimately rejects because of how her other lovers were cast aside and destroyed. In Babylon, Inanna was part of the “sacred marriage” between king and the goddess, which helped to assure abundance to the land and its people. It is not clear whether this was an actual ritual that was performed by the king each year, or whether it was just an idea, a spiritual construct that the people believed in. I myself have a memory of what this kind of union entailed because I learned about it from this lifetime (among others: it seems that this is a pattern for me where I investigate many different aspects of spiritual union here on the planet).

What we find existing with rulers and the gods or goddesses in the past often wind up being qualities that each person actually had within themselves, but may have been a power or knowledge kept for the ruling elites and out of the hands of the great unwashed. Additionally, scholars have argued that the reason why in graves images of Inanna/Istar are more prevalent is because of her connection to the underworld or the spirit world. What I contend is that this world is not a place we go to but is instead part of a focus. We are focused now as physical beings, but that focus will shift once the body is dropped. Do we go somewhere?

Do our death stories suggest that we travel somewhere? My experience suggests that these are all belief constructs and all depend on the person involved. We experience the tunnel, I suspect, because that is what we experience at the beginning of our physical life, while exiting from the body of the mother and into the light. In today’s experience what do people see once they go into the light? Why, they see “the father” of course! And in our physical life, this is also what we do here, as many births attest to on earth. I was the first person to see my children when they were born as most fathers are. When we die we speak of god the father who we see. It is curious to consider how these experiences appear linked.

SOURCE http://oracc.museum.upenn.edu/amgg/listofdeities/inanaitar/

Ishtar evolved into Diana and Artemis in Asia Minor and Aphrodite in Greece. Interestingly, Inanna was worshipped by the Babylonians as the “Queen of Heaven” since the virgin Mary has been referred to this also. The belief in Mary as Queen of Heaven received the papal sanction of Pope Pius XII in his encyclical Ad Caeli Reginam (English: ‘Queenship of Mary in Heaven’) of October 11, 1954. Never mind that the Babylonians had beaten the Christians to the punch by at least a millennium! While Christians shrink back in horror over their images being tied to pagan images, I think it is all part of the great mill of the gods: we are all made in lines that are interrelated. We all seem to need our gods and goddesses to represent certain things as part of a larger curriculum of our evolution here on the planet. I know how that might sound, but I think that knowledge of the feminine waxes and wanes as we go through different epochs of development. Additionally, I would not say that the past was necessarily better for women even though Inanna was revered. In some cases, and in some cultures women’s lives were better. In Babylon, the first laws were written to protect people. The idea of a minimum wage comes from Babylonian law as has the concept of a woman being able to own property and to proceed with a divorce. I think there were times when things were better for women, and that our development has not been linear. We are, I think, readying for a kind of explosion into a new realm concerning our identities as humans and not all of it will be good, but not all of it will be bad, either. There will be people who go to extremes and others who will strike a perfect note that will catapult them out of ever needing to come back here for another incarnation.

What we know, though, is that these stories repeat, and the story of the Christ is itself a recombination of a much older story that had already had several incarnations in the world. Virgin births amongst god-men was common. Anyone who had been sufficiently different was said to have not been born of humans in some way shape or form. Inanna was one such god-woman who would serve as a template for others to come after her. What I find so interesting is how it may be that in the old times the concept of speaking in tongues may have been something that didn’t emerge just within Christianity, but was instead a quality in humans of just about any culture. This might also be a nonlinear and nonliteral language that concerns itself more with intensities of states over traditional word formation and symbol usage to help depict sounds, but instead symbolize qualities of consciousness. I have seen the symbols of this language in dream and in vision and what I saw is surprisingly similar to what some have drawn who claim to have seen this language. It’s a rather remarkable thing to have seen it and then you see someone who you have never spoken to who has the language on their site or they blog about it or they mention it in conversation in passing. If you have experience with this, I encourage your input. Am I full of it, or does any of this resonate? I suspect though that because of how the issue of awakening has followed along with me throughout many of my lifetimes, that my time In Babylon included elements of this as well.

Did the priestess of Inanna speak in that unified language described in the Old Testament? Was there a form of communication that was as much a part of the nonlinear right brain as spoken language is of the left brain? I am also reminded of Enki, the Sumerian God who, along with other creator beings, came to Earth to create human beings using a technology that may have been part genetic engineering and part hybridization. The Anunnaki were said to have been off-put by how humans spoke. They made a lot of racket. Was this because the language was so linear in nature? Were the Anunnaki telepathic? Are we experiencing a pattern of awakening and a return of the feminine spiritually that has been seeking to assert itself down through time? If so, I think it is high time that we get it right. We can begin on that path by being thankful, grateful for what we have and for what lies ahead for us to yet create. Being able to expand awareness of this innermost feminine can help the world in many ways. Perhaps Inanna calls to many of us from across the centuries still. The ancients once said that we are the ancestors to the gods….so perhaps it is true that the gods are creations, in part, from our own creative imaginings, or are at least in part at various stages of the process. Perhaps we make the gods and goddesses into our image as much as they make us into theirs…

When we say how someday, when we die and are in heaven, we will be happy, why do we think we will be okay there and not here?

Why do we think heaven isn’t possible here? Why do we get upset that the world is in such a bad state all while we do little to nothing to make our own backyards better?

Didn’t we come to redeem the world? One pebble per person means mountains…

I wonder are we getting it right?

Jesus’s Baptism by Giotto

While we do not know for certain why, John the Baptist showed signs of being at great odds with the ruling elites of Jerusalem in the Jewish temple. John was himself in the wilderness, we are told, and showed every sign of living the life as an ascetic: he wore simple clothes and subsisted on honey and locusts. A man like this would be freed to some extent from having to work in order to survive. This would have afforded him more time for contemplative prayer and meditation. Ascetics like this often were mystics, people who sought to know the thoughts of God. There is evidence that John was just this, that he became aligned to the divine compass that rests in all of us. How so?

Baptism as it is practiced today was very different in John’s time. Today we sprinkle water on a child’s head and say their sin is forgiven, their path to heaven is promised. But baptism by John was a different affair. We know through the disciples of Jesus, which took up baptism as an important precursor to discovering the kingdom within that it was imperative that the person want to be washed clean with all their heart

And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is the water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? (37) And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest.

Acts 8:36-7

While in Acts the baptism was couched in believing Jesus as the son of God, baptism was developed as a critically important way to free people from the division that previous sin, that which separates our hearts from the heart of God, could serve as a mechanism of release for people. All you had to do was to buy into it (believe). John was doing this in order to remove sin. John was setting souls free.

One important step toward awakening is cleansing the self of those things which divide us from the light that shines upon us, in us. In every way, Jesus explained that all of this was found within. It begins like a smallest of all seeds, the mustard.

Ritual cleansing baths are an important part of Judaism. John, I note, took the idea of cleansing one step further and created a way to free people from the burden of their past. What is remarkable is that John broke with the temple practice of blood sacrifice as the way to remit sin.

By whose authority did John do this? In his day John would have pointed to God. As any prophet, mystic or seer can tell you, this God is found within us. By John’s own perceptiveness and his desire for a better more peaceful way, he invented baptism. His own authority stamped the method with effectiveness. Yes, just saying it could even make it happen. John and Jesus both understood the role that belief or faith had in the work they did. Anyone employing methods like these understands the role belief plays.

People think there is magic in baptism, but it is entirely empty in truth, it is instead entirely filled by ones faith in it. By the same rule, baptism can be a hollow act if you don’t approach it correctly. There is evidence in the scripture to show that the early ones knew how to do it so that achieved its desired impact. One’s own faith is what works the magic. Does God forgive the sin? No, instead we do. God is always ready to forgive, but it is we who must prepare ourselves, to make our minds and hearts right to be forgiven. At any moment this can happen because of the abundant love that God has for all. We must be able to empty ourselves of the coarse stones that hides how ever-present this love is, how all-encompassing it has always been.

This would easily be counted as heresy today, but that is just how far the faithful have wandered from the core of these rituals. We think there is magic in just doing them, but that just isn’t so. If drinking the wine doesn’t make you feel closer to Christ, it’s your fault. You really have to let your imagination take you for a powerful ride. You had to be ready to give everything up to receive the power of baptism.

It’s important to understand how baptism was performed. In the earliest days a person left all of their garments and went into the water naked. This is one reason why there were furors over women in the early church baptising people. It was considered scandalous for a woman to be performing this with people who were naked. Women did, however, perform baptism. Sadly, baptism has been altered from its original form where one strips away the covering, the guile of the self, to come to God utterly naked. This ceremonial stripping away of what protects and hides us was an important ingredient to the process.

Being naked served to do two two things: it helped a person to surrender to the ritual. It is hard to hide your soul and heart when you stand naked in the water. It also emphasizes how the body will be washed clean of sin. If you believe it will happen, then it will. That is the true magic of baptism, which relies on belief. But who really is letting go of the sin, the burden? You, of course. Most people think of baptism as the method that works it magic. Baptism was a mechanism to help bring a person to a state of surrender: the grip on what needs to be let go is softened, and if the heart is ready, it goes. The more you let go, the less you have standing between you and God. We have forgotten these principles today. In fact, every baptism is done fully clothed. Besides, what’s the big deal, really?

Something happens to a soul when it is unburdened by the weight of the inner division that divides us from the divine; we suddenly are relieved of that which had been weighing us down only moments before. This adds buoyancy to the heart, and brings one ever closer to the divine presence. It is a trapdoor into the soul and its connection to divine presence. Release the right block or stone holding up the dam and the whole eddifice can come tumbling down.

Humans are made up of a series of these blocks or “stones” that serve to keep out the light or the water of life. All awakenings proceed in the same manner: surrendering to the powerful force that undoes us, that, like a physician, removes those things that keep us from the divine light. You didn’t have to be a Jew, you could be from any faith, from any walk of life. The church created the impression that you had to become Christian if you were to enjoy the benefits of the true light.

It’s quite possible that John was in the wilderness because he was not accepted by the temple priests as legitimate. While his method of baptism was drawn from tradition, it also departed from it. There is no mention of John taking money for his services, which would have been different from what happened at the temple in Jerusalem. This may be why he was in the wilderness. It may also be that John saw the corruption there and chose not to participate, we don’t really know for sure. What we do know is that John developed this method on his own and was offering it to others, which stood as a method that bypassed the temple methods of tithing and sacrifice that were filling the coffers of the temple.

It is worth mentioning that during this time the temple priest began hoarding the Jewish coin used for tithing to the temple. This was called the half shekle (also shekel), as no coinage from a pagan Rome could be accepted. This created artificial scarcity and drove the value for coin up. People from the region would come for yearly blessings and religious observances, bringing a bushel of grain or chickens, doves, or other valued resources which would get converted to the shekle. Under the hoarding regime, what took a bushel of grain could end up costing two bushels, later. That’s some pretty bad corruption for you. And who of conscience would want to deal with a system like that? This was the world that John and Jesus found themselves in.

Jews weren’t the only tradition to practice a cleansing of self for reaching the divine, however. The Native American sweat lodge or inipi is an important precursor to receiving divine guidance. One had to cleanse ones self in order to be closer to the divine and to be able to receive its guidance. The Hindus describe a process of cleansing energy channels where they knew past emotion can be stored, a process that also achieved a closeness to the creator. Much of yoga is concerned with this process of cleansing.

Now you might look at this and say, “This has no similarities to baptism!” But you would be wrong. What is key here is psychology. All of these methods work as psychological triggers….if you buy into or believe them. Under the skin, they achieve the same thing.

Rumi once wrote that people argue about the light saying one is better than another when all is light and none better than the other. All of these cultures knew and practice a similar method because it works because of how all people universally divide themselves from their heritage of children of the creator.

When I awakened, I clearly had released a long-standing issue that had me at odds with myself and the universe. As soon as I let it go, I began having symptoms tied to awakening. It was as though a path had been cleared for me where my awareness was freed up to know the fundamental truth of my being as tied to the divine. I didn’t reach this because of a belief or any expectation of any return from having done this work. Likewise, the work of John worked just as much for Jew as Gentile in his day. Jesus’s work and message worked for all-comers. Jesus saw the benefit in John’s work and began to employ it because it worked when done correctly.

To me, this method reveals the compassion that John had for the spiritual suffering of people. He went out of his way to do this work. Imagine this man, holding you and pushing you gently into the water and pulling you back out, pronouncing how you had been washed free of your sin. To do this, you had to trust John, you had to bodily place yourself in his hands. You had to be ready to let go.

Something powerful happens when you are with someone who has achieved this same type of release, also, which has been a well-known principle in many traditions. A teacher is more effective when they embody the knowledge of how the method works? You better believe it. Each person whose heart is open and ready can feel it since it is a deep spiritual truth, and that truth actually has a life beyond just the teacher (as long as followers don’t fall away from the core principles of the method). It was so powerful a method that Jesus went to be baptised, and when he did, his own connection to the divine was in that moment realized.

We often want to think that Jesus was different, but what I see is a man who wanted his own inner sin to be washed away. No one bothers to look at this, though, within the church. It’s as if, as how the institution has portayed it, that baptism was somehow different for Jesus. The elephant in the room is that people were finding relief from what had them divided from the divine. It is entirely reasonable to think that Jesus sought out John as the physician of his heart and soul.

Division within the self serves to hide or obfuscate our deeper, truer, nature. A person not burdened by unresolved feelings of anger, frustration, fear, or guilt, is much more able to understand and glimpse their deeper fundamental nature as a spark of the divine. The same appeared to be true for Jesus, since in the moment as he emerged from the water, something powerful had happened. It may have been more effective for Jesus than others, and this may also be why he adopted baptism as one of the ritual practices that now make up the Christian faith.

While my awakening wasn’t initiated with a baptismal event, the event that took place was, I suspect, identical to how baptism worked in the old days, which was that I was given the opportunity to unburden myself of an inner tangle of emotion about a past even that I hadn’t been able to resolve. I had a slow burn of frustration, guilt, and anger that had been burning a hole in the pocket of my soul. This angst was as much directed at myself as it was the universe for having sent a challenge spiritually that I felt I had failed in the face of. What was so interesting was once this initial release and subsequent shift took place, the challenge completely resolved itself. It could be said that this challenge to my system set up the conditions where enough pressure was brought to bear to serve as the force that would break through the wall seperating me from the depths within. Once I was able to just let it all go, everything changed from that moment going forward. For me, this one stone removed from that wall I had built caused the wall itself to weaken, ultimately allowing the water of life to stream into my awareness and initiate the changes to get me to a better place. It resulted in years of removing barriers I had erected to the divine.

These stones, all of them, were knots of emotion that only served to drown out or hide the soft flow of life-giving water/light of spirit. This all began with one initiatory act, and I suspect that this was also what John, Jesus, and many others were doing some two thousand years ago. Baptism washes away the lower so that the higher may be better glimpsed. It’s not a guarantee of awakening, but one in a series of steps that can work to bring a person closer until they can see the Christ or saving grace that is in us all.

Paul, in his letters explains it as not something that came from without, but as the Christ that was within. He said that God showed him this in his road to Damascus moment when he was struck by a bright white light. Paul wasn’t a believer at all, and was actively persecuting Christians. He waa shown this Christ within himself. Only then did he become such a vocal proponent of the movement. It’s kind of beautiful when you think about it. A tent-maker going around persecuting followers being baptised in the spirit of the Holy Ghost. That’s what happened to Paul. It was so sudden a transformation that he was blind for three days. This could easily have been a condition we call hysterical blindness. If true, it was because Paul needed some time to catch up with the new reality he suddenly was facing. Blindness can manifest it times like these when you are still unable to comprehend the about-face that happened. This underscores just how sudden his awakening was. This is not unlike many awakenings today. It’s quick, really in a glimmering of an eye and there it is. Boom. Say goodbye to Kansas.

This kind of experience was often spoken of in terms of dying to the old self in order to realize a new life, which was the Christ. Paul wrote of dying daily as he came nearer to Christ, a process identical to awakening.

This was one reason why the esoteric strand or sect within Christianity which we call Gnostic today took Paul as their hero. It was this esoteric strand that was best positioned to understand and convey the very keys to this kingdom, which rested on inner seeking and then discovery of a spark which could be kindled into a great light and a realization of the divine hidden within us all. These descriptions were incredibly similar to those found in other cultures which describe the process of enlightenment.

The conspiracy to destroy the Gnostic sects, which contained so much understanding of these and other sacred rituals by the Orthodoxy (that came later) was a conspiracy of ignorance. Within several generations this more secretive group of sects were driven from the institutionalization process we call Christianity today.

What John, his disciples, Jesus, and his disciples knew was that one of the most important aspect to the work they were doing rested on belief in an important way.

Today, we refer to belief in scientific terms as the “placebo effect.” While we tend to denigrate the power of belief in our modern culture by renaming it with a “sciency” moniker (placebo) belief, regardless, remains an important power of mind. Sign up for, say, a drug trial, where you are a subject who might get a new type of antihistamine as part of a study, and you can glimpse what this power of mind can do. It is known that a certain percentage of participants who believe they are getting the drug and not the sugar pill (the placebo) but do get the sugar pill, will often exhibit physiological reactions as if they are actually getting the drug.

While the placebo effect has its limits in terms of how it can heal, it is a significant enough of a response to begin turning the tables for many touched by it. It helps to show how belief can drive the power of the mind for positive change.

John and Jesus knew about this and even explained many times (Jesus specifically) that it was a person’s faith or belief that had healed them. In first century Judea where access to medicine was nothing like what we have today, the effect of their belief made a huge difference in how people felt.

The Orthodox sect of Christianity claims that the books of the Nag Hammadi Library are heresy, but what interests me is how sophisticated the teachings are and just how probable it could be that they represent, in part, a private teaching by Jesus and his followers. Scholars seek to attribute some of the writings to a man named Valentinus who had a vision of the risen Christ and lived in the first century. Valentinus wrote about how he had visited a direct disciple of Paul who explained to him that Paul had both a public and private teaching. The disciple, named Theodus, taught Valentinus about this inner or secret teaching. While this itself does not prove that Jesus had an “inner ministry” there are indications in the synoptic gospels that Jesus did not teach openly to Gentiles, preferring to teach in parables in order to veil the meaning of his teachings, which happened in Mark and to a degree again in Luke. Every tradition on Earth that has had an esoteric wing which hides certain teachings in order to protect the uninitiated from what could prove to bring awakening before the student was ready for the experience.

Baptism was the beginning, one step in a series of passages to free the self of the burdens that exist in a person’s heart. This today would be called “release work” and it plays an important role in luving closer to the divine presence and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it.

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Copyright, Parker Stafford

I was given weed recently as a result of my describing what took place this Summer where weed had made me more psychic, something I wrote about here at WTI.

Alone finally last night after the holiday goings-on, I decided to get ready for bed and go through a meditation after using the weed I had been given.

I used a very small amount, about a pinch, about 3/4 the size of a pea (if that). This amounted to two regular puffs and one fraction of a third. This was a very low dose, although the version I used was described as being a strong hybrid version. I put on my headphones, pulled up a Monroe Institute Hemisync program from the Gateway Experience, and listened with headphones. This particular audio helps to induce deep Theta states, and while there are directions for relaxation and breathing, most of it is designed for your own inner work. The audio lasts about 45 minutes, just enough to get you there.

Everything happened very quickly. Before the narrator/guide began his first comments, I already felt a presence of a male who was speaking to me in this bright excited voice who seemed to be positioned above me who extended his hand saying, “Take my hand and I’ll show you all the places you can go!” At this point I was already dissociated from my body and traveling through what looked to be outer space. I remember having an experience like this before many decades ago where I moved out of my body and began seeing a starry sky and feeling that the stars were actually consciousness. The sensation at the time was overwhelming and it put an end to the projection because of the state of overwhelm I invariably would fall into that kept me from further projecting. This time, I thought about this and as I saw all these stars, I didn’t feel overwhelm but instead felt a stirring warmth in my core where there was only love. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I acknowledged this love as the next step in my evolution and the evolution of everyone on the planet.

I was interupted by the narrator of the audio a number of times as he made suggestions for how to breathe and relax. I was there in seconds, I was ready instantly and kept having my meditation interrupted by this voice. It didn’t trip me up completely though, it was more that I paused my meditation and waited for the voice to complete what it had to say since it pulled me out of the “broad mind” state as I felt pulled into a more linear language-based state (rational left brain). I’ll have to work more on that in the future. I found myself back at my body after expanding outward through both space and dimension, which all took place very quickly.

I noticed during this whole experience that my third eye had become very active. This time, though, I could feel the third eye pressure at the bridge of my nose. My third eye is now a vertical band that goes from my nose all the way up to my hairline. When it activates, it is usually felt as a large dot on my forehead with a sense of energy and even something that feels akin to tightness of a sort. This tightness isn’t inhibiting in any way, it signals that my third eye is activating in a strong way. It is more that this tightness is the result of these bands of energy that flow around it and out of it. When this happens, it is a sign that I can begin to see clearly beyond the physical if I focus my mind correctly with the third eye center. The two work together in bringing information through. I was aware of information streaming into different parts of my brain which would get routed to the third eye as the lens used to see into the realities that these intuitions represented. Likewise, I was aware that the third eye could see into the mind to pick these things up. It was a fluid dynamic system where informatiin flowed both ways.

As I thought about this, the third eye energy shifted up into its usual place which was mid-brow up to the edge of my hairline. The whole area constitutes the third eye for me, which is akin to a long extended flame of awareness and sensation. The Hindu seers who paint the tilak on their foreheads are using an image of how I experience the third eye. Two vertical lines with a cental line in the center all corresponding to the Ida, Pengali, and Shushumna nadi. The Ida and Pengali merge in union and balance in the Shushuma, the place of boundless bliss. Below is a photo of the tilak as it is worn by mendicate monks. There are variations of the tilak, so the one shown below is just one of a handful of versions used.

I was also met by a small presence that I can only describe as dwarfish that spoke and moved excitedly as it began showing me the energy lines in my legs. I had gone from standing on a beach to being up in the hills in a tropical location atop a flat-topped roof of someone’s house, which was where this being began pointing out the energy lines in my legs.

I was in this kind of environment because the hemisync audio uses ocean waves as part of its audio. I naturally found myself standing on a beach, and later moved from the beach uphill into the mountains above where I landed on a slightly sloping rooftop. The being was showing me where the energy lines crossed in my legs when the narrator broke in and it made it hard to continue. I will see about going back to this in another meditation. I knew or could feel how others had mapped the energy body in not too different a way in the past in meditations much like this one, and I thought how easy it was, not the arduous task as I had originally had thought it was.

I was keen to get into the leg chakras because I could feel how there was some blocked energy that resided at the junction of the torso and the legs. It was curious how this energy trailed off behind me, right around my behind and extending out like coat-tails behind me. This awareness has always been one of the great gifts conferred by awakening, and the awareness itself has been enough to dissolve countless blocks in my field. At one time many years ago this awareness would make me feel defeated by the sheer volume of material present to still clear. Now, though, it existed more as a remnant, a trailing bit of material near my lower back.

What is worth mentioning is the back trouble I have been having since November. The week of Thanksgiving was where it came to a head after driving to see family. It was so bad I couldn’t move from a sitting to a standing position without the use of a broom handle which I used for about a week to get up from my couch. Luckily, I somehow managed to keep working even though all I wanted to do was to lie flat on the floor. I have been slowly rehabilitating my back muscles so I can move more freely. What would have taken weeks if adjystments by a chiropractor I was able to do on my own and now the sore muscles are in a much better place with slow and gentle stretches. It was I think not a coincidence that I was having this tightness along with the enhanced awareness of the stuck energy near my bottom in this meditation.

I soon decided to drift off to sleep after this took place. I revisited the idea of telepathy before going to sleep but every person who I put my mind to seemed much too vivid and in a tangle for me to even try another experiment along these lines. I did however find a part of my mind aware of one person who I kept feeling like I was communicating with during the meditation, like a quick check-in contacted me and there was an important message waiting for me from tat person when I checked messages this morning.

I say this only as a reminder about the things we can explore, learn, and discover. We are all inheritors of a noble light that is supportive and loving. We go and experience things that are part of our present “set and setting” and experiences are part and parcel of where we are at any moment in time.

I will note that up until this summer, I have only ever used natural methods for reaching accelerated states of being and awareness. I have also been an advocate for this approach for many decades (using it myself exclusively) since my early twenties—in the late 1980’s. My experience this past summer made me rethink this approach. After being able to reach these ecstatic states naturally, I have considered what some substances might do to help further expand both awareness and experience. While I have no interest in being a heavy user, I am considering this as one wrinkle among many in this entire process.

If weed helps me to hone in on the remnants if blocked energy, then I will consider future meditations using very small amounts to assist in sharpening that awareness. I don’t sense that weed opened my third eye, that initiation took place in a meditation in late 2006. Rather, my intent to do this meditatiin was set on “finding out what I might see ir discover” with my third eye dutifully responding to that intent and also aided by the much more fluid state I found myself in as the weed began to take affect.

The goal for me is to learn how to emulate these states without outside substances. I will mention though that even the food that we eat can have a significant effect on our physiology not unlike weed has done. I have found states of bliss after eating cantaloupe and other melons because it served to modify how my body responded to the energy of the awakened state. Just being well hydrated can change how I feel. Taking vitamin D has had dramatic effects on how I experience bliss, for example. So weed? It may well be one of many plant helpers that I can use to help open up my cognition and awareness to valid physical and nonphysical states, not as a distorter of experience, but as a liberator from an inhibited state to one that is not as inhibited.

I hope you are getting a break and have enjoyed the holidays. If you don’t hear back from me, happy new year!

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