Archives for category: spiritual healing
A47B6BD1-7293-4791-869D-0F1F5358A758

My morning window view

 

 

It comes in the unexpected moments,

with lack of guard

the inbetween

where the barrier to it falls

the heart melts

the self is returned to its primordial state

a glimpse

that returns again and again

until the brilliant flash fills and alters

changing you forever.

 

 

It isn’t worth wasting it

on anything but wonder

this sovereign moment

that owns itself

turning you over to a higher ❤️

a force that

forges you

bending the crooked

straightening,

cleansing,

purifying…

 

It can come at any time

especially when you least expect it…

making a lover of you.

Advertisements

In the work of awakening, the great stumbling blocks we encounter are the things we resist. And what you resist is what persists.

The road to wholeness and happiness is in the singular awareness that no matter what troubles you in your life, it all comes down to an inner resistance deep within. It does not seem that way when we get upset by the events and people in our lives that upset us, but what’s unsettling you is an inability to see and respond to things as they are. When you are able to see things as they are, without your own inner dialog running, you can much more easily accept that things are happening not to unseat you from your bliss, but that you are resisting the world as it is. You probably wont change the world, but you can change yourself, which is what inspires others to want to change, and many people all doing this in their own back yards helps to sow seeds of change. People have their own reasons for doing what they do that most often has nothing at all to do with you, but is more a story all their own. When you can honestly give them real space to be, resistance ends and we can accept that none of what upsets us is personal. We choose to be hurt. We choose to be angry. Most often, we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel in each moment, though. This is resistance. Expect the feeling to persist many times each day. Or you can let it go. Was it really so important to your ego. Really?

All the great teachers taught how important it was to chang the mind. Even Jesus did so. Jesus is often thought to have used the word “repent” as the key term for shifting the tide, but he (along with John the Baptist) actually used the word Metanoia, which means to change ones mind. Call it a translational error, but if you ask me, its a significant clarification that really casts more of Jesus teaching in a new light. But I digress. The point is that all of the great teacher saw, experienced, and knew that we all have a capacity to remove thinking of one kind much the same way a mask of thinking or believing is removed (often with the effect of revealing a deeper layer of being and thinking that’s more original to our nature in the process).

So I ask you, how do you see things differently? It is all in how you choose to see it—the power is in your mind! Choose a different conclusion, choose a different assumption. It only seems hard if you have never tried.

How many times did you have something happen where you assumed an outcome that was completely wrong once you learned more about it later? We make all kinds of assumptions that are based more on who we are rather than how things are in the world. I have seen myself do this more times than I care to admit. But I do learn from them when they happen. It’s done by reflecting on events from the past and assuming the events are following the same pattern, but nothing is ever quite the way we think it is, especially from the past and how we have responded to it emotionally as we color it the way it suits us.

Now what if you could rewind the tape and assume differently using a whole different mindset? Maybe you try not to judge anything until you speak to the people involved, or until you check your messages, or gather more information. All of this behavior I’m describing says nothing about the world, it’s only saying something about you. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of similar assumptions before. Maybe you know what it’s like to have someone do that, completely convinced of the utterly fallacious script running in their heads, right? So change it on your end and it will be one less person doing this. Your greatest gift is who you are. What kind of you do you want to be?

I was once told a dream this guy had. It illustrates resistance and acceptance so well. In the dream, my friend would encounter werewolves. This dream would happen over and over. It bugged him. These werewolves would show up as these slobbering wild men who would transform into these beasts, menacing and chasing him all night long. It was really getting old and he needed a solution to this nighttime delimna.

One night my friend was in his dream and he saw these men coming through the woods. They had just transformed and came rushing up at him. The chief werewolf got up in his face. He was still wearing, of all things, his sunglasses! As my friend looked closely, he could see his reflection in the glasses. What he saw surprised him; he could see that he too was a werewolf! He could see his own teeth gleaming in the reflection as the other werewolf smiled with a grimacing set of teeth. My friend, realizing all of this, gave a chuckle and took off with the pack, howling and running like the wild things that they were. Oh, and after that, my friend no longer had another werewolf dream.

I can’t speak for him, but I think one thing is clear; our dreamer was resisting something about himself which morphed into fear and scary dreams about an aspect of himself he had been resisting. Once he accepted it, he integrated it into himself, making it a conscious (rather than subconscious) part of himself. Maybe he was afraid of what it might mean if he was a werewolf. But instead, accepting it freed him of fear and the trouble it caused and he saw these werewolves were all just out having a grand old time. He learned, I think, that what he resisted wasn’t about what he thought at all. He integrated or accepted it, and thus was free.

So for our dreamer it might have been fear of his wild side. For you, it might be something else. It could be any sort of fear that drives you…and very often these issues come down to fear of some kind. A fearless person is calm, gentle, easy in themselves. They dont jump to conclusions. Maybe you fear a seemingly thoughtless person. But let me ask; if they are being thoughtless, how could it be that they are being this way just to upset little old you? Let it be, give it acceptance, maybe see that it was in you all along, and you will see it all melt or fall away like a house of cards. It means being willing to change your mind, to change how you see it. Then, poof, like magic, it evaporates and any negative charge it had is gone because you changed it. This is the essence of all clearing of the consciousness to help reveal the true self shining within. And this self is more free to express itself. Energy moves more freely when you are not so resistant to an aspect of yourself that remains unhealed. You are, afterall, a conduit for an energy that was called “the water of life.”

“Be like water, my friend.” —Bruce Lee

It’s a curious fact that I haven’t stayed in this one place the whole of my life. I do seem to move through what we call time, but time as we think of it isn’t the whole story.

I have broken with the rules laid down by physics and travelled away from this time into the future, the past, and it’s all been quite easy. In fact, I began doing this as a little boy. I didn’t know how I did it, except that it took place effortlessly. I didn’t even think about it something about it suited me. The reason why I am telling this unusual story is because I know that it’s in everyone, and I hope that my words can serve as a reminder.

I often think that I’ve been doing it for a very long time…lifetimes, even. For whatever reason, I seem to have chosen to be this way, to be less glued to the spot. It isnt that I dont know how to “be here now” but rather, no matter where you go—there you are. It comes with its drawbacks, which is that it comes with a mind that knows how to wander within itself.

You might not know this, but this is the first requisite for time travel. It sure has been hard, though, because everyone sees me as spacy. So glued, so nailed down to one line of thought, people react funny to a wanderer like me. But just like John Muir once said, “All who wander are not lost. It’s very was to assume that you know how another person feels or experiences by judging based on your own exprience. Far from spacy, I find my wandering to be like a wonder-filled landscape filled with emanations of spirit, like feeling the pulse of the multiverse. In fact, my thoughts are really quite pristine, it’s just that they aren’t thoughts like many tend to think of them. And really, I don’t think it’s much use explaining what this even means when there’s no common language between us. I do wish you could experience it. Otherwise if I described it, you might think I’m crazy, weird, or just….spacy. Perspective is everything I suppose. That, or maybe just experience.

I do know that in a past life the self I was peered into a future life, which is my life today. Jus as I looked forward from the past, I was peering from the future into the past. Based on my research into that life, this took place just before my lifetime as a freed slave after Emancipation. This put me in the earlier part of the 1800’s.

It wasn’t a long life. I was shot with a round lead bullet while trying to steal the horses belonging to white army officers. It was like being hit with a hammer. It didn’t go into my heart, but into my left side. I died from fever days after. I was Native American.

I had a vision in that life when I went into the mountains to pray about the atom bomb that was going off that was the result of contacts with Whites. It was a hard time. Worried, I went into the mountains to pray. Instead of great insight, I was pretty much told by a Thunder Being in the vision that it was “game over” for my people. The being went on to tell me about a day in the future when I would be reborn as a new person, this time White, at a time when the earth would be sick and be in need of “cleansing.” For a period of a week I had several “warps” in time where I saw his life events and he apparently saw mine. The curious thing about all of this was that instead of this being a memory, it was more a visitation, a trading of places. What I realize was that this was all negotiated or mediated by my higher self. A doorway opened up that Saturday evening that I could feel. Like Neo noticing the mirror in the room, I was about to tumble down the rabbit hole. It’s funny because I think my higher self is in many ways just as mobile as many of my past lives have been. Probably moreso. Most certainly so.

Because these memories are so vivid and detailed, I have been able to identify the time, sometimes the people if they were well enough known in our history. I had heard the language of the culture and I was able to track them down…in a sense. I was able to find that the culture was from California and had been displaced, absorbed into the Paiute tribe where most that was known about the language was lost.

This begs the question how I was able to find the culture based on a language that was dead? In a tribal meeting I was told that I should remember who I was. The old man pointed to my chest, emphasizing a word that turned out to be the name of the people. The name was what had survived, and for the purposes of finding the culture, my higher self knew that this conversation would serve as lock and key to understanding the historical importance of this memory.

I went on to research the archives of the Army stationed near Yosemite where I once lived. I found a description of a raid on the fort where a small group of natives rode out into the open in a brazen attempt to steal horses. Two were shot of the five or so men with everyone getting away. This was precisely the scenario I remembered during the week where the door to the past opened to me. In fact, as I lay dying from a septic wound, I came down with one of the worst fevers in my life in the present day. As my past self faded away, my future self was left to recover to continue in a new life.

In some lives, I tend to travel while in the dream state. This is the most ideal way that it happens. I can shut down normal focus and wander weeks, months, even years from my current point in time. All of this is perfect because when you use dreaming as the springboard, there are no immutable laws of physics getting broken, not when consciousness doesn’t have mass. Free of mass, you are free to travel. The lure of physical time travel appears to require bending the rules of physics, a hitherto misunderstood aspect of our universe…..an error in the equations.

I am the first to admit that I haven’t the slightest clue how I manage it, except to say I think it’s a deep interest of mine. That, and the secret that we exist in many realities beyond time. This is just one level. The others, we often dream about them and don’t even realize it at the time. We often dress these dreams up in the focus of our own current focus so the differences are less noticeable. The wandering part of me knows that time as we know it lies curled up inside of a massive expanding present in which all kinds of times exist….Time that moves to count or measure events happening at the nano-scale, times that run backwards, times that run sideways, and time that radiates in all directions.

You see, we can all do this, this coming unstuck in time. Not quite like a Vonnegut novel, but every bit as interesting and even entertaining. To do it requires being willing to wander within consciousness because it is consciousness that carries all of the keys. As a result, to achieve it, you learn how to accelerate your consciousness by opening up to inner streams of energy which we all have access to. Most people have a hard time conceiving of this as a thing because its secret is in feeling. And who trusts their feelings? It means going just a little farther than you normally go. It requires being open to the idea that it’s possible. Without that, you have no way to build those portals or bridges through time. If you don’t believe it’s possible, it isn’t.

In the last few years of my awakening I have been finding that I’m using travel in time to have an effect on my past. I know this is supposed to be a no-no, but I see no reason that it should be. If we have managed to travel back in time, as long as we are in the future relative to the time of travel, it’s still an event focused in the past even if you have yet to travel back in time (maybe this takes place a week from today). Still. I know how it all sounds. Sounds crazy. I know. That’s why only by going through it yourself can you know what I’m talking about.

Of all the traveling the most amazing journey was when I visited myself when I was 17. That was a long time ago, but it resulted in a change in my own timeline. By going backwards, I was able to talk to myself. This took place in the dream state. I made an impression on myself it seems because the next day things felt very different. It also felt very interesting meeting myself from the past. Seeing your double and talking to him is….well, it’s trippy is all I can say. It’s also unifying in an unexpected way. That was a plus. The weird thing was how I had forgotten the dream when I was younger. It took my going back from 2015 to jar my memory to remember how I had had the dream. At the time I was not sure that the me from today could ever be my 17 year old self’s double from the future. The older me just didn’t look like the me thirty years ago. The dream impressed me, but I forgot it because I looked so different from how I would have guessed. I looked like a total kook, wide-eyed and breathless. I looked that way because in the present I was lucid and was trying to think of something useful to tell myself at age 17. Should I tell him about the future? I had managed to travel back, was lucid, and was facing myself. In the end my message was the importance of love. Everything else was just details.

I think we can change our lives for the better by traveling like this. I don’t buy that I’m breaking any rules by doing it. It just seems….normal to me now. If you use it to improve, those changes will ripple down through time, reinforcing a new pattern in your present. I don’t use it for lottery numbers or betting on the market. Most often, I don’t need to. I tend to know how an investment will play out. I did this with my home and I’m about to do it with what is about to become a new form of currency. Sometimes I am off a little, but I find my way. I could feel how money is going to change in a very big way and thought that buying silver was the thing. I realized that the big banks are going to continue making silver artificially cheap by shorting silver in the markets. That’s why this new form of currency will be so huge…at least for a while.

This is what I would call “anticipatory foresight.” It’s general, but it’s anticipating events that are upcoming. The strongest events are the ones that will flow into our time and particular reality. It’s like….intuition.

I’m telling you this because I know everyone can do this, and just knowing it’s a thing is enough to trigger it’s happening all in your own. Like I said; it’s easy even if I don’t know how it’s done.

My time travel is through my projecting myself there. I’m not sending my physical self there. I go on the light….which has no mass, remember?

This is just the tip of the time traveling iceberg, though. I grew up seeing deaths, births, and world events before they happened. I saw Waco weeks before we ever would have imagined it would end in slaughter. I saw the explosion over Chernobyl which sent a radioactive plume into the atmosphere, which rained down as snow in Eastern Europe. I saw people being evacuated by railcar and that the numbers exceeded 65,000 people (100,000 was the total amount). I have seen tsunamis in Indonesia, and an earthquake in Mexico. All had enough details that enabled me to corroborate what I had seen with events in the near future.

I know that skeptics will say its coincidence, that if you wait long enough you will eventually get events close to a dream. In my case, my dreams of the future are about 3-6 weeks ahead, so the possibility of matching a dream to an event becomes increasingly unlikely. I’m not waiting years to get the dream to fit. It’s mere weeks in most cases.

Before I go I can tell you that we will develop antigravity for use in cars. This will come about through a control mechanism that keeps cars just a few feet off the ground. We won’t be allowed to lift off into space, but this will be the implication of the technology. I can also tell you that we have this technology now and that in order for it to enter the civilian sector we will need to bring pressure to bear on our government to release it because it’s being hidden right now.

I can also tell you that we will survive this difficult time in our present to develop technology that will enable us to take a quantum leap beyond our place on earth.

I think people see time travel as breaking the rules somehow…but really it isn’t. It can be used to improve your life. I’m writing this in case it rings bells for another out there who might wonder if they are travelers, too…

 

 

20150223_103607

Blown Glass, Parker Stafford

You can care for your soul, and the souls of others if you do not let the crazy energy moving through the world right now get to you.  The lesson?  Well, it is easy to say there is a lesson here… But we can take a lesson for ourselves in moments like these.  Fever pitched, with the world going up in flames, hurricanes one after another.  Bangladesh, Texas, Florida.  Hundreds of thousands of forests are ablaze, marches that lead to violence.  Everyone is so raw, the nerves just beneath the surface vibrating, ready to leap after the next punishing touch.

 

I am experiencing the intensity of this earth energy, which is synced right up to the life here….animal and human kingdom.  All of it, rock, star, water, air and fire.  It feels apocalyptic.  When I say that, I mean it in the original Greek, which originally meant a sudden revealing.  Like a curtain pulled away suddenly, the nakedness of our perception, our hearts, our bodies laid bare.   Its easy, oh so easy to pull back from such a shock.  It is easy to find it is just too much.  It is easy to assume what does not actually exist.  It is easy to hurt when we do not mean to.

 

So its important to take care during this time, to open up to a whole new level of letting those energies flow through all of us, even if they are hurricane winds or roaring forest fires.  If we don’t, if we hold onto them and do not let them pass, the energy will get stuck in us.

 

20150215_093937

Blown Glass, Parker Stafford

 

Take time to rest, take time to eat well.  Take time to read a book and smile. Remind yourself to give a kind word even to those who are not being kind.  Everyone is going through a struggle of some kind deeper down that none of us know anything about.  A smile wont hurt, a kind word like salve to the soul.  And breathe.  Just breathe through your day.  Alone or together, let it move through you, feel its rippling energy turn from hard to extreme ecstasy, for surely it can and will if you just position yourself just right.  Are these bodies the only line leading us into eternity?  No.  Enjoy them, cherish them, treat them right and honor them around those who are friend or mere acquaintance.

 

This, too, is a shift in seasons.  This last eclipse, with undertones of Piscean energy, can bring up the deep waters of the soul and bring tidal waves and tsunamis of emotion.  It feels like too much, I know….but if you go with it, it has a higher order vibration within it that is cleansing.  There are other worlds, other lives, other realms and adventures waiting.  This is not all there is, and yet, we should find a way to care for our Gaia before she is no longer ours and we get slowly shrugged off.  We need to get our stuff together, no doubt about it, but these times were also foretold by the seers and prophets in Native America.  The Hopi, the Cherokee, the Lakota, and more, all have prophecies pertaining to this very period of time.  They are described as the  birth pangs of our entry into a new world.  Called The Cleansing Time, or The Day Of Cleansing, these prophecies have figured prominently in my life and have led directly to my awakening.  Its force is like lightening, and it seeks to strike to the center of things.

 

…And this is not easy to feel when it also is happening to us…

 

So the way through the nagual (pronounced “Nah-whah”), through the dream of the superconscious as a higher-order aspect of the subconscious and urge for union within, we can begin to knit all parts back into wholeness so that the circle might not be unbroken, so that the Kingdom might come in each of us, the Christ, the Cosmic, the transcendent anchored right here in us and in earth. We can be the bridemaid of earth accepting heaven and becoming married to it om a sacred alchemical marriage (of sorts) without cloaks or religions but hearts and souls…

 

Learn your place as co-creator.  Discover how each of us can participate, training wheels are okay, even necessary.  I wish you well, and I wish you self-care.

He said, as I struggled, “You wouldn’t be doing this if you knew what lay on the other side of this…” He was right; the only struggle was with myself. I had made a struggle out of thin air. Ego made it important. Ego just wants more like itself.  It perpetuates what it thinks is important. Your stuff is so important, isn’t it?

 

 

Now I invite you to look at someone else’s junk and think about how easy it is to see how much folly it is. It’s easy to do, isn’t it? We see the mote so easily, but we miss the beam in our own eye. And that’s how it is. Now turn it around on yourself: you are just like this. Your junk isn’t junk, it’s important stuff! But really, how important is it? If you knew the clarity, calm, and bliss lying on the other side of each “problem” you wouldn’t be feeling so stretched, pulled, or slammed into a vice. Such a tight place, right? But it’s important, your ego says, so you keep the vice ratcheted down nice and tight. We all like it nice and tight. We like it because it proves to us that we are validated by just how hard the world is. But it’s not the world, but our reaction to it that’s the problem. The real problem is when you make the injustice so grandly horrible just so you can feel grandly horrible.

 

 

Just walk away.

 

 

It’s simple, you see. Letting go isn’t work. You just need to let it be….simple. When you do, it just goes….poof! (Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?) Many don’t know that this can be because most of us just hang on for dear life —we spend lifetimes like this until we ripen into needing to do things differently (and the way increasingly becomes clear).

 

 

When you are ready to make it simple, the biggest problem is made small. It’s huge roots untangle from you and turn to slick threads that billow in the wind. Just. Like. That. The suffering comes from having become addicted to our attachment to feeling like…..crap. In so many cases, you’ll find that a negative reaction washes away your willingness to bear compassion and understanding because your hurt is more important than affording the other person understanding. I could go into detail giving you example after example, but we are making this simple, right?

 

 

If you keep “working it” you just delay its release…..anger, upset, jealously, you name it. Over and over this is how it plays out for all of us. The harder you try, the harder it is to break free. It’s like Chinese finger traps; they hold harder the more you pull on them. So imagine loosening up deep inside. Use imagination to feel and realize how easy it is to loosen inwardly enough to realize YOU have been the one who was the vice holding those roots tight within you. I’ve been through it hundreds of times and each block is like this. Oh the emotion might be different, yes, but the result is always the same. You just give up. You might have to practice this to bring this into your experience more and more. No, it might not get easier. In fact, it might even get harder because the stuff you have been holding onto the hardest can be the last to go. Awakening for me removed the easiest stuff first with the harder parts later. The fresh stuff. The memes that plays out the most in my mind. The freshest hurt. The strongest attachment to suffering. But an aspect of it gets easier; I know I can do it. But a warning: as you get deeper into the fresh stuff, you owe it to your sanity to give it the heave-ho because the longer you put it off, the more it can fester and just build more of itself. That’s why many can get tangled in the hardest stuff even in awakening and become stuck. Remember; you have this. You can do this. It’s yours and no one else’s….and you owe it to yourself, you really do.

 

 

So do yourself a favor….keep it simple. You will like what lies on the other side of this.

 

 

Blessing of All That Is.

Your energy body is a perfect reflection of the totality of the universal truths of existence. The seven major chakras represent seven major aspects that make up the seed of all creation. In you are seven major chakras which are like an octave, a totality. When you can clear these seven chakras of all of the shame and guilt and repressed emotions, you can begin to really know by direct experience what creation is because it has been seeded in you. This is the “divine spark” the Atman, the higher self. 

This “seed” has within it the power to know truth (crown chakra), see the truth(third eye chakra), speak the truth (throat chakra) love the truth (heart), be the truth (solar plexus), feel the truth (the sacral chakra) and create the truth (the root chakra). When these centers are clear, you no longer repress the truth but experience it cleanly. As long as you have repressed emotion in a part of the light body, so too will the truth be hidden from your direct experience. Clearing these centers is an act of clearing karma. You might think karma is tied to your actions, but I ask; what is the root of your actions? This is what clearing karma is, and it closely aligned to the concept of sin (which means anything that harms your soul). It clears away bad memories, bad knee-jerk behaviors that keep you in a cycle of pain and spreading that pain to others. It clears you so you know who you truly are beneath that mountain of dross. This is the true freedom, it is true peace. 

When you reach this place, you see clearly that anyone behaving in anything other than their highest is simply acting in accord with this mountain of things. And while we are human, and imperfect, we also can step into, and remain, in a fully integrated self that calls on all aspects of the self, including the super self. Yes, the world is imperfect, but to bring perfection it is incumbent on you to reach it first for yourself. This can only be done through a process of inner inquiry, observation, and radical self honesty. You have to want truth more than you want the mountain of things.

How you do this clearing work can be found on this blog by using the Search function with the keywords “clearing blocks.” There should be more than 30 posts that speak to the techniques that are most effective for doing this work. There are techniques for clearing this blocked or stored energy using TRE, movement, breathing, and eastern methods like Qi Gung, just to name a few.

One if the biggest blocks we have as a species is in our root chakras. Here, our ability to give and receive nurture exists. It is where our creative fire is initiated, whether for creating new life in the physical or for that next new idea or way to help create your day in a new way. Creativity is so much more than an artistic pursuit as it is a way of being and living.

We are all so tied up with root block, and it shows! It shows in how we have so little regard for creativity in our culture (save for technical pursuits). It also shows up glaringly in how we treat sex. It is pushed down, made dirty by taboo and “kinks” in our being. As a result, we never get to experience our creativity as the wildly powerful thing that it is. We regulate, control, and turn it down because we think it’s inappropriate to ooze with it, or let it fill our life with its vitality, wonder, bliss, and the awe it brings. It is our collective shame that most everyone here is faced with dissolving and letting go. It is our shame that literally attenuates or blocks our full experience with the divine within. The divine does not move with these kinds of shackles. 

Getting to the root is substantive work that when cleared makes the rest of the work easier, but it’s most often the last center to clear in people. Why? It is so foundational. It leads us to what we are: co-creators. Most don’t want that kind of responsibility, so we shirk it by saying our problems are because of our parents, our loved ones, our society and its institutions. But ask any co-creators and they will tell you, your misfortunes are all entirely self made. It’s because this is so hard to face that many don’t, preferring instead to blame an event in childhood as the cause. But it isnt the cause, it is a symptom.

I know this is hard to believe or trust us true, but if you apply this awareness to your life, you will progress much quicker and be much happier.

This is why it is only a symptom….

You chose your life and your parents. You chose them in order to set up events that would challenge you to both create and to heal. No true learning comes by way of a mental understanding of how bad something is that needs to be healed; you have to know this through every inch and atom of you. No exceptions. This is how the divine is; it is not a half measure of itself. It is a full measure. It only got to be that way by not falling for anything but the best of itself. It has made itself and it is unwavering in this. This is why when you try to heal and reach into the divine that you are that you can feel a lot of tension inside building up. You are dragging your mountain of things into it, and you can feel the chaos and tension and difficulty with just trying to remain in that superstate. Eventually, you are destined to “fall” from that grace over and over until you learn that you cannot enter your heaven with that baggage. When you awaken you can visit there for longer and longer periods, but your fall is all but promised when you still have work to do. Once you clear the baggage, you naturally and effortlessly are able to remain in this heavenly state with ease. And to be clear; this is a process, so most often, ease comes gradually, piece by piece as the blocks are removed. Its because they block you from something that you really are, deeper down. 

We get tricked into thinking that we are victims of our past or our upbringing as a way of not having to dispense with our brokenness. But the events in your early life are the result of a soul that exists prior to each lifetime. It is a glitch already in you that is creating how you are. No one makes you do or be anything. You choose just as you chose the conditions of your birth. You are here to clean it up. So instead of playing the victim, play the role of the responsible creator-in-training that you truly are. If you adopt this attitude, it will straighten all that is crooked in you. It will make you strong. It will make you more honest. Now be ready to work at it each and every day until it becomes a part of your thinking and feeling; this is true empowerment!

It is for some an inconvenient truth that there are two forces working to make prana and these two are described as yin and yang, the Shakti and Shiva. They are in Jungian psychology the anima and animus. In ancient Christianity they are the father and Holy Ghost (which was considered the feminine aspect before orthodoxy came and obfuscated it’s true meaning). What we are looking at are two forces in us that we experience as archetypes in our lives and our cultural and religious institutions, and eventually they merge into one in order to fuel both awakening and divine union. In awakening, we can experience them as the “lost” sides of ourselves, our twin (a karmic relationship in awakening) or as a side of God that allows us to experience ecstatic union with the divine. This is all there to help us learn not to feel shame about sexuality and spirituality existing together in an unbridled and free way. This happens when the self becomes less divided and more whole. 

Once free, dysfunction is healed. Sexual “kinks” go away, and a desire to use sex for control (men and women both do this in different ways) and what replaces it is nothing short of relief and freedom. Your creative energy expressed through all seven centers (the seed) is free to be.

To get there, though, requires diving deep into the matters of the root in order to acknowledge what’s bent, broken, and limiting you. You can’t feel the divine by doing this intellectually. You can’t do it by leaving any single part of you behind. You can’t know the divine until you ARE the divine, which has no compunction about sexuality or ecstacy as one channel of the seven major rivers of experience which leads us to that one great ocean. To be whole, the whole must ascend together bearing no more falsehoods about itself.

I realized that I was a tantric when I began recognizing that my sexuality had to come along and be okay with complete and total surrender and flow of all that I am. That means, no shame with sexuality. So I have worked on healing this shame and it has helped me to be more grounded, healthy, and happy. I am at ease with my riotous creativity. I also no longer hang out with people who don’t understand or value my creative fire and the vast abundance that lies bubbling up from deep within me. Whenever I have been able to dispense with people who are limited in their own hearts and minds, I tend to soar on skies that I know are my own. It isn’t that I study tantra or even practice sacred sexuality,  because the truth of tantra at its core is this idea I have been telling you about, which is being healed and more fully integrated so there are no divisions within who you are. You are free to feel all aspects of yourself as bliss and the love behind it that supports the universe.

 I promise that dissolving your deep-seated shame will also dissolve the appearance of divisions in the self.

This healing is a critical first step in the awakened experience. Nothing substantive can be done before you clear the dross within. Deprogram, cleanse, heal, and you will find the you you knew existed within you.

Yes, cleansing is a process. It might take years to go through all the levels, but by clearing them, it is rare to go back and reinstitute them. My experience is that some blocks go fast and easy but there are others that are deceptively hard. You can’t B.S. your way through this, you just have to be honest with yourself when you continue having a problem cropping up; you haven’t cleared it yet. Be patient, and be ready to continue doing the work. This is not a race. Give up your misgivings because you created them. 

The conditions of your life are only a symptom that comes from your own inner origin that you have come here to clean up. Once you do, the events and conditions that were in that old life will be gone forever. A more accurate set of conditions of events will prevail. If you espouse the value of “ascension” then this is the process that will get you there.

Until next time….

©Parker Stafford

I remember feeling that dot activate in the center of my brow even when I was little. It was maybe the size of a pea. Okay, maybe half the diameter of a dime, a little bigger than a pea. It always came with this curious sense of pressure there. Like something was just…resting there….a dime, a pea, really it could have been anything. I would wonder if my third eye was activating.

But then I was jettisoned into an awakening, and it began, in part, when this voice in my head told me to close my eyes and focus my eyes along the center-point of my brow line. That changed it for me. It sounds impossibly simple, right? This has been one method used by many people across time and cultures to activate life force so that it flows at a higher level (Egyptian Mystery Schools, early Christians, Hindu, Taoists, and more). I slipped past the mirror and began a journey into a world within that was expressing itself through myriad lives here on earth….atoms, trees, fish, stars, and the ten thousand things.

That dot transformed. I felt it as it changed, grew, then spread across my forehead. I didn’t know that this would lead to awakening, I was trusting in the inner voice that was urging me along. I drew a picture of it as it felt on my head. It was just that vivid. It was no longer a dot, but a double channel of yin and yang energies fueling my inner sight. 

Bands of energy radiated outward horizontally and wrapped all the way around my head. The pressure was intense, but it never hurt. It was an ethereal energetic pressure, and it felt like it was cracking my head open like a nut.

The dot, a seed, really, had sprouted and grew each night as I sat down in bed to meditate before going to sleep. I watered the seed with my attention. You don’t have to think magic thoughts, you don’t have to do anything when you turn your awareness to it. In fact, it seems like you are doing precious little. It is like flipping a switch. But be aware what you are in for. Are you ready for a relentless process of realignment, cleansing and release? Are you ready to go forward one step, crossing a threshold from which there is no return? “Buckle up because Kansas is getting ready to go bye-bye.” There’s no putting the genie back in the bottle. But when you are ready, you are ready.

Please come take me,”  I wrote in my journal that night. “I am not afraid of you, I know you do not mean any harm. I know you want to open me like a lover opens his beloved.” Unashamed, unafraid, I knew that this was how this had to go. I was to be lit on fire by the Holy Ghost, the Cosmic Fire, the Kundalini. One part of me was the initiator and another was being initiated by this new fire of life. And it happened so effortlessly, like I had come here for this. My ticket had been reserved aeons ago. It was going to happen. 

This is a full third eye awakening, my friends. I thought I knew, but I knew only the tip of its tail, that pea-sized dot. The dot is the seed. Nascent, full of promise, but not fully activated. Maybe that’s why they paint the bindi on their foreheads I thought. They do it because that’s how it feels to them.

When the third eye blossomed in me, it was so radically different, you see, that I had to draw it, recording it both so others could see it and so I could look at it with my  physical eyes, too.

It led me into undescribable bliss. Like a rocket, it took me there until I learned how to reach that pearlesent bliss on my own. It taught me that I had to work to clear my baggage. This took years. I wish I could say it was easy, but it wasn’t. But the inner presence that woke up within me didn’t care; it offered me endless chances with no judgement. While I would feel defeated by my stumbled, it seemed to smile as if to say, “This is how you learn. You stumble, you fall; you get back up and go farther each and every time.”

Some refer to it as “the helmet” some as “a vice.”  I wanted to study it. My little secret is that if you bring your fiery love of awakening with you, unashamed, into the moment and come to your wanting to know more about something, something in the universe opens inside of you, like a blossom, a riotously wild but free blossom that contains just what you want to know. The universe opens its “secrets” to you. I don’t know who is being seduced more, me or God. But it works so beautifully. Just silence your mind and be ready to let your imagination build the images or words or smells to give you it’s truth and meaning….because when you do, you naturally can become the thing you are after to know. What better way to know something than to become it in your heart.

How do I explain to you that you fall in love with the Universe? How do I explain that while this intense live flows, it just gives all of itself to you in the process? It responds to the seductive power that is the human spirit. This spirit, gifted through God, is a spark or piece of God and thus our own desire is God’s desire. How do I explain how when you feel this love you lose who is you and who is God? The gift is that in this live beyond all our loves, all secret hidden things become plain as the scales of our earthly condition fall away…or can…if you can give yourself completely to this love. 

It is this way that I have learned so much. No teacher, no guru, and no need to wade through what parrots have to say. But this was how I began to learn and how I use my third eye as a sacred instrument of knowing. It is. It is part of my inner temple. And we all have that temple in us, that place where we meet the divine. My third eye let’s me see what is important or most immediate in my life. It’s force spreads across my head, a reminder that it’s there. The secret is to keep it simple. Our rational minds stumble and fall in its advancing presence. No, you have to be able to let yourself think and feel in an impossibly big way.Are you ready? It is like an amazing dream, impossible for it to be real, but is. 

I was pleased to see that what I had drawn matched perfectly the Tilak that yogis paint on their foreheads. They too were just drawing what they had felt. Maybe some were just parroting what others had done, not realizing that this was how a fully awakened third eye felt like. Shiva has it always painted on his head. The yogis sometimes don’t have the horizontal bands on their Tilak. Some do. Some have a series of dots with those horizontal pressure bands. It’s all the same, I know, different versions, varieties of the same experience. Below are some images of the Tilak, so you know, so you can see that it isnt just decoration, not merely a ritualized marking; it is an illustration. It describes something. Something real in us…

Look at my drawing again….

So look for this, but do so carefully because if you are feverishly seeking awakening, no one will keep you from it, but it’s good to prepare. It makes things easier. But if you are going to be taken by God, it’s just going to be. This third eye is how they got there. The yogis describe it, Jesus even taught about how to activate it (few even realize that he was teaching about something so esoteric), and anyone who knows where it is that his teaching on the third eye shows up wins a prize! I will give you a hint; it is in one of the canonical Gospels! Verily I say to you, it is true! Let me know if you can find it…

You can travel with the third eye, you can. I was taught by “it” this broad inexhaustible divinity in all things, how it’s to be used (or how I would use it). You can step into worlds through it and glimpse wonders. If that sounds too impossible to you, just remember; it’s already been done, and I do it whenever there is enough of a need. It’s always about something I either need to know or would love to know. Either way, it’s always juicy and perfect. It’s also teaching me how to live my life on the narrow path….which is in truth how to balance between shadow and light so that I might know the depth of love and bliss right here and now. That of course freaks out the fundamentalists, but is understood by the esoteric, the mystics: the shadow we create through our actions does not dissolve until we recognize and heal it (“repent and sin no more”). Until then, it haunts us, taunts us, until we can call on the grace that we are that is God-given, a lifesaving, soul-saving gift. We can be saved, but not until we repent…or recognize that we were doing shadow work to begin with. 

I Ask You….





So how does the third eye feel to you? Has it given you wonders, has it been a curious thing, a mystery? Have felt pressure there? Does it seem inconsequential to you?  Is it a mystery? Do my words seem impossible?

 Know the mysteries. Like stars, they beckon us to adventure. How does it feel, this awakened third eye? Is it a dot? Does it spread across your forehead? Where has it gone? Did it open to you, was your life changed? Has it been hard? Did the hardness show you the way into supreme bliss?

I’d love to know your story…

Sorry to be away so long; so much is afoot right now for me. I’ll write about it later. Meanwhile, how does the third eye treat you? I would love to know.

Swimming in bliss…

There is a new page I have put up on the blog, and I hope you will take a look.  I will be adding more information as time goes by, and I’d like to extend to you an invitation to include any books that you have found useful in your journey as a woman as it relates to your spiritual journey.  This is the link:

http://wp.me/P3bZGN-13g

I don’t really see the thing we do, this intense multi-year process of shedding old skin as “work.”
I use the term..work, but it is, for me in truth, a letting go, a deeper and deeper surrender. This is not an effort, you see? But in the beginning it seems that way.

 

This “work” is a returning to a quieter less noticed part of us. It is the “part” that so easily gets drowned out by our barrage of physical sensory information. If you want to see effort, see how we hold onto those looped strands of energy we have formed by hard emotion and a lack of surrender. This is the stuff that forms our inner programs, conditioning, and negative karma!
When the programs, negative energy blocks, drop, those things that you obsessed over dozens of times each day just go “poof” and are just GONE. In fact, once they go, isn’t it hard to even remember what they were, or why all the drama?

We actually clench our minds recursively around so much that hurts us, numbs us, all without realizing we are doing it. But what a relief when the hand of the mind.just.lets.go. So this has been my “work” since awakening entered my life.

I’m at a place now where I’m getting down to the bottom of the barrel. I will say that while I’m pleased with how much I have released, it’s a small pleasure, a lowercase “p.” I feel different, and things are getting easier even as I hold tight to a few last broken pieces. They are doozies…but as I say that some part of me is laughing because it seems to know how ridiculous that is, saying, “It’s only that way because of the power you gave it….and it’s a thing that disempowers you!” True.

I’ve not been so keenly aware of this “doozie” though as I do now. It has come into vivid focus because so many other blocks near it have been removed. These  blocks veiled the ones deeper down. I am now aware of the deeper blocks more keenly. This is of course a good thing because awareness is what helps bring change. It tightens my abdomen, it keeps some part of me dull, upset, clinging to….what? An investment in hurt. Yuck.

This state, though, however temporary,  leaves me feeling graceless, bumbling even. I lose grace, I sometimes feel normal….and I’m aware that it’s my inner compass telling me I’m a hippocrite as long as I’m holding this last bit, this pile of stinking stuff. But after being here hundreds of times it tends to play out the same way.  Being not filled with grace seems to be the whole point, which is to help point out the glitch that keeps me unsettled.  More so than usual.  This place is different than just grinding away on something that is firmly planted inside of me, though.  Its got a bit of that muck being stirred, you know?  Something is up. there is a feeling of something is about to happen.  My feet, feeling the edge of a great cravass, teeters there a little and something in the back of my mind begins to calculate (which I wish it would not do) and wonders what would happen if I fell.  And again, that is the whole point.

It leads me to being at a loss for words. Entering here, I feel the inner earth shaking, uneven, like a world on fire, burning, strange, even dark. It leaves me feeling vulnerable. I have this “work” to do, and it makes me feel… upset. Mildly agitated. For as much as I once reveled in the cosmic energy of union with a “twin” I have never before felt so relieved not to have to deal with my un-becoming and all it entails while dealing with another in my head space going through their own gyrations and chaos.
We all do this differently, and for as much as I have wanted to beat back loneliness with connection, I am finding that when I can just be left to do my “work,” my part of it, it gets done. I’m learning, stubbornly, to love the grace that will be permanent, common, sure, and solid instead of falling for the idea that this can be done while enmeshed in a karmic connection. Yes, a karmic connection  drives powerful energy, but it also leaves me yearning for an ideal I see in that person that has yet to be manifest. I used to think that because I could see a soul in its pristine state that this meant it HAD to manifest itself in them. But their time scale is not mine. I’m making peace with how we all go at this with a different pace. I might leap forward, now no longer attracting nor attracted to that old karma. The tension goes slack right along with the sexual tension, tightly focused previously. When it goes, my focus widens.Each time, the force widens, sublimes, and then grows stronger….but only because I am now more open…less clenched and cluttered. And the things that mattered before don’t. I’m left having to figure how I do feel about any number of things. I’m left having to figure out what fulfills me enough to even keep me here.

It isn’t that I don’t care. Im a feeling passionate person in all truth. It’s that the old arguments…they are, so many of them, just gone. I remind myself, though, that there’s more work to do. I keep leaning into the wind, though. I’m ready for the next thing.

This leaves me wondering what even to write. This process leaves me at odd ends at times. When I’m processing blocked material I often feel agitated, raw, upset, and close to the presence of a block that gives me grief right up to the moment that I find that gap in my heart mind and soul where I can root it out deep so it can go away entirely. Transmuted, redeemed it feels like. This makes it very hard to write.
I’m reminded I have 60 posts in draft mode. I can have one posted each week for a year and not run out. I’m thinking that I’m all out of words. I kind of wonder what is the use. I mean, nothing seems more important to the journey inward that is me and mine. I’m thinking I want to garden quietly, contemplatively, seeing into the mystery that fills me that I alone must face and encounter wordlessly. It’s made all the more precious because it is so quiet.
I’ll be working on getting those drafts more acceptable and not worrying about what next to say. I just can’t. But all those drafts will make it possible for me to go quiet without really being quiet. That’s nice. Better when I’m shedding my skin. I want to move quiet, silently, heeding my own bliss.
Like all of these periods, it’s temporary….but it’s necessary.

I’m working on my house. But The house is connected to me in this weird way. I find I am shifting the energy pattern in the house just as I shift and heal my own—some which are compliments and some have been mirrors to some aspect in me.
It isn’t that the house has the same patterns as me. It has patterns that are present in the awareness of all-time that were created by previous owners here. Both me and my daughter can sense the energy here, and we sense it best when it’s something that is also in us. It’s easier to relate it and to tune it in this way.
It’s two years worth of renovations. Detail work with trim and feelings being stripped away and repainted so this old house looks anew.  It’s more than just looks, though. It’s feeling differently day by day.
Already so much has been done, and it feels like my house is changing right along with me. We are drawn to people and places because they match something in us. I am ready to change the pattern in me as well as the person who buys it. Once complete, I won’t have to worry about its being valued….because it will be a different story based on seeing this house in a new way. It wont be because there are new curtains or new paint just covering the old with new.  Something else will be in the mix, changing the feel.  It is already happening.  A friend of mine told me a few years ago I needed to be careful about those stuck emotions in me and in the house.  People can feel them….and yes, while someone else who is stuck in a similar way might be attracted to it, I prefer to just change the narrative by editing out the noise.  This, I suppose is the work, if ever there was any (on the house I mean).
Columns stripped and repainted, looking brand new. Walls clear and clean. Weeds pulled, mulch beds framing the house in a new look. It’s a labor of love. Now eleven years in, I am ready to sell and move on. Out of it will come an explosion of creative output I have been pushing hard against the harness on for many years. Free now to create just as I have always yearned for: free and clear. Clear inside, free outside.

Meantime, I have research on a book about early Christianity and it’s forgotten mystic roots….and teaching. And renovation in more ways than one.

So I am taking a”rest” for a bit while I work on me and drink deep of this lovely life that keeps growing sweeter…I will have blog entries scheduled each week, and I might just be more consistent by posting all those old drafts than I ever was when writing when the spirit struck.

sahin-6

Artist: Hüseyin Şahin

 

The lock of the Beloved

curls thrice

gently,

lovingly,

gasping quietly

until she is freed from her deeply chambered place.

 

Years in dream she prepares 

edging closer to you and me
longing across a bridge not yet built,

eying your capable hands.

 

I heard your voice speaking

in events surrounding me

you wrapped me in impossibilities

transforming the mundane

into the profound.

 

You were the essence of the miraculous

and  bid me deeper

so that I might know

finally

what I had been seeking.
Though I might drown

I am drawn deep into your sea…

 

Your waves shook me deep

over and over,

your golden presence

lifted me into light

and bid me enter the chamber

of the bride and the groom

a secret consumated in mystery.

 

My watery self

emerged from new birth
challenged

an old memory

rewritten,
it was…

a resurrection

an inundation

there are no words to contain you…

but you bloom here in my chest

and open me to the grandeur

the same as when life comes to itself

knows itself

and knows what has made it.

 

You undid me

and remade me all at once.

 

I am left having to make new sense of old maps

 

listening to a still-older compass

that whispers at night in dreams

and shakes me to my core;

it is waiting for you” 

and I struggle through the sleep

to find myself on the other side

awake

%d bloggers like this: