Archives for posts with tag: divine union

Your energy body is a perfect reflection of the totality of the universal truths of existence. The seven major chakras represent seven major aspects that make up the seed of all creation. In you are seven major chakras which are like an octave, a totality. When you can clear these seven chakras of all of the shame and guilt and repressed emotions, you can begin to really know by direct experience what creation is because it has been seeded in you. This is the “divine spark” the Atman, the higher self. 

This “seed” has within it the power to know truth (crown chakra), see the truth(third eye chakra), speak the truth (throat chakra) love the truth (heart), be the truth (solar plexus), feel the truth (the sacral chakra) and create the truth (the root chakra). When these centers are clear, you no longer repress the truth but experience it cleanly. As long as you have repressed emotion in a part of the light body, so too will the truth be hidden from your direct experience. Clearing these centers is an act of clearing karma. You might think karma is tied to your actions, but I ask; what is the root of your actions? This is what clearing karma is, and it closely aligned to the concept of sin (which means anything that harms your soul). It clears away bad memories, bad knee-jerk behaviors that keep you in a cycle of pain and spreading that pain to others. It clears you so you know who you truly are beneath that mountain of dross. This is the true freedom, it is true peace. 

When you reach this place, you see clearly that anyone behaving in anything other than their highest is simply acting in accord with this mountain of things. And while we are human, and imperfect, we also can step into, and remain, in a fully integrated self that calls on all aspects of the self, including the super self. Yes, the world is imperfect, but to bring perfection it is incumbent on you to reach it first for yourself. This can only be done through a process of inner inquiry, observation, and radical self honesty. You have to want truth more than you want the mountain of things.

How you do this clearing work can be found on this blog by using the Search function with the keywords “clearing blocks.” There should be more than 30 posts that speak to the techniques that are most effective for doing this work. There are techniques for clearing this blocked or stored energy using TRE, movement, breathing, and eastern methods like Qi Gung, just to name a few.

One if the biggest blocks we have as a species is in our root chakras. Here, our ability to give and receive nurture exists. It is where our creative fire is initiated, whether for creating new life in the physical or for that next new idea or way to help create your day in a new way. Creativity is so much more than an artistic pursuit as it is a way of being and living.

We are all so tied up with root block, and it shows! It shows in how we have so little regard for creativity in our culture (save for technical pursuits). It also shows up glaringly in how we treat sex. It is pushed down, made dirty by taboo and “kinks” in our being. As a result, we never get to experience our creativity as the wildly powerful thing that it is. We regulate, control, and turn it down because we think it’s inappropriate to ooze with it, or let it fill our life with its vitality, wonder, bliss, and the awe it brings. It is our collective shame that most everyone here is faced with dissolving and letting go. It is our shame that literally attenuates or blocks our full experience with the divine within. The divine does not move with these kinds of shackles. 

Getting to the root is substantive work that when cleared makes the rest of the work easier, but it’s most often the last center to clear in people. Why? It is so foundational. It leads us to what we are: co-creators. Most don’t want that kind of responsibility, so we shirk it by saying our problems are because of our parents, our loved ones, our society and its institutions. But ask any co-creators and they will tell you, your misfortunes are all entirely self made. It’s because this is so hard to face that many don’t, preferring instead to blame an event in childhood as the cause. But it isnt the cause, it is a symptom.

I know this is hard to believe or trust us true, but if you apply this awareness to your life, you will progress much quicker and be much happier.

This is why it is only a symptom….

You chose your life and your parents. You chose them in order to set up events that would challenge you to both create and to heal. No true learning comes by way of a mental understanding of how bad something is that needs to be healed; you have to know this through every inch and atom of you. No exceptions. This is how the divine is; it is not a half measure of itself. It is a full measure. It only got to be that way by not falling for anything but the best of itself. It has made itself and it is unwavering in this. This is why when you try to heal and reach into the divine that you are that you can feel a lot of tension inside building up. You are dragging your mountain of things into it, and you can feel the chaos and tension and difficulty with just trying to remain in that superstate. Eventually, you are destined to “fall” from that grace over and over until you learn that you cannot enter your heaven with that baggage. When you awaken you can visit there for longer and longer periods, but your fall is all but promised when you still have work to do. Once you clear the baggage, you naturally and effortlessly are able to remain in this heavenly state with ease. And to be clear; this is a process, so most often, ease comes gradually, piece by piece as the blocks are removed. Its because they block you from something that you really are, deeper down. 

We get tricked into thinking that we are victims of our past or our upbringing as a way of not having to dispense with our brokenness. But the events in your early life are the result of a soul that exists prior to each lifetime. It is a glitch already in you that is creating how you are. No one makes you do or be anything. You choose just as you chose the conditions of your birth. You are here to clean it up. So instead of playing the victim, play the role of the responsible creator-in-training that you truly are. If you adopt this attitude, it will straighten all that is crooked in you. It will make you strong. It will make you more honest. Now be ready to work at it each and every day until it becomes a part of your thinking and feeling; this is true empowerment!

It is for some an inconvenient truth that there are two forces working to make prana and these two are described as yin and yang, the Shakti and Shiva. They are in Jungian psychology the anima and animus. In ancient Christianity they are the father and Holy Ghost (which was considered the feminine aspect before orthodoxy came and obfuscated it’s true meaning). What we are looking at are two forces in us that we experience as archetypes in our lives and our cultural and religious institutions, and eventually they merge into one in order to fuel both awakening and divine union. In awakening, we can experience them as the “lost” sides of ourselves, our twin (a karmic relationship in awakening) or as a side of God that allows us to experience ecstatic union with the divine. This is all there to help us learn not to feel shame about sexuality and spirituality existing together in an unbridled and free way. This happens when the self becomes less divided and more whole. 

Once free, dysfunction is healed. Sexual “kinks” go away, and a desire to use sex for control (men and women both do this in different ways) and what replaces it is nothing short of relief and freedom. Your creative energy expressed through all seven centers (the seed) is free to be.

To get there, though, requires diving deep into the matters of the root in order to acknowledge what’s bent, broken, and limiting you. You can’t feel the divine by doing this intellectually. You can’t do it by leaving any single part of you behind. You can’t know the divine until you ARE the divine, which has no compunction about sexuality or ecstacy as one channel of the seven major rivers of experience which leads us to that one great ocean. To be whole, the whole must ascend together bearing no more falsehoods about itself.

I realized that I was a tantric when I began recognizing that my sexuality had to come along and be okay with complete and total surrender and flow of all that I am. That means, no shame with sexuality. So I have worked on healing this shame and it has helped me to be more grounded, healthy, and happy. I am at ease with my riotous creativity. I also no longer hang out with people who don’t understand or value my creative fire and the vast abundance that lies bubbling up from deep within me. Whenever I have been able to dispense with people who are limited in their own hearts and minds, I tend to soar on skies that I know are my own. It isn’t that I study tantra or even practice sacred sexuality,  because the truth of tantra at its core is this idea I have been telling you about, which is being healed and more fully integrated so there are no divisions within who you are. You are free to feel all aspects of yourself as bliss and the love behind it that supports the universe.

 I promise that dissolving your deep-seated shame will also dissolve the appearance of divisions in the self.

This healing is a critical first step in the awakened experience. Nothing substantive can be done before you clear the dross within. Deprogram, cleanse, heal, and you will find the you you knew existed within you.

Yes, cleansing is a process. It might take years to go through all the levels, but by clearing them, it is rare to go back and reinstitute them. My experience is that some blocks go fast and easy but there are others that are deceptively hard. You can’t B.S. your way through this, you just have to be honest with yourself when you continue having a problem cropping up; you haven’t cleared it yet. Be patient, and be ready to continue doing the work. This is not a race. Give up your misgivings because you created them. 

The conditions of your life are only a symptom that comes from your own inner origin that you have come here to clean up. Once you do, the events and conditions that were in that old life will be gone forever. A more accurate set of conditions of events will prevail. If you espouse the value of “ascension” then this is the process that will get you there.

Until next time….

I am quietly undertaking a project of educating myself more broadly concerning early Christianity because of an experience I had during the early stages of my awakening. Already this effort is forming into a book. I think I have something to show that is important about Christianity that appears to have been lost. It is to my mind the greatest story never told. 

This story has roots in my early childhood when I had what I thought was a rather odd feeling about the church. I grew up in the church, and I had a deep inward conviction that something had been hidden at some point by it. This of course was a very strange thing to feel growing up. As a child I had no reason why I felt this way. It was almost as though I had known something, had seen something,  and woke up one day with amnesia and could not remember why I thought what I did…except that I did

I kept this feeling secret for years because it seemed so utterly random and a bit strange. It would make much more sense once I began to experience awakening though.

Growing up, I searched along the margins of Christian thought wondering if I might find something that would support why I felt the way I did about something having been hidden. I reasoned that if the church had hidden something, clues might likely exist along these margins, those areas which everyone says are forbidden, but can’t give you a good reasoned answer for beyond that this is what everyone else thinks. So not being a person who thinks that everything we believe is the gospel, I trudged along in life, drawn along by this thinnest of threads that refused to break under the strain of credulity that I put to it. 
I read the Apocrypha and bought the “lost books” of the Bible. Nothing ever rang any bells for me, however. Not until 2006 when I published a piece of writing to an online community that detailed an aspect of my earliest brushes with awakening, did I begin to make a series of discoveries that upended my understandings about God and Christianity. 

Someone I knew from that online community suggested I read the Coptic Gospel of Thomas because what I had written sounded very similar to passages in Thomas.  In my early seeking I had never come across Thomas. How had I missed it? The answer may have been due in part because the first published translations of Thomas were not available until the early ’70s, and it was slow in spreading into the mainstream. It would take years for scholars to study them, to begin making sense of how it fit into the Christian narrative. Somehow, I had completely missed Thomas and the other books that comprised what is known today as the Nag Hammadi Library (NHL).

When I read Thomas, my jaw hit the floor. Passages in my writing were nearly identical to those in Thomas. When I laid the two beside each other I saw that the content was eerily similar. How could this be? I was describing the essence of ecstatic union with a force that lives in all things, that expresses itself creatively, that renews itself using the creativity of the physical-sexuality-to realize a higher dimensional understanding of the divine which is also ecstatic and which mirrors the sexual experience but in a spiritual way without the flesh. The two were transformed in such an experience (spiritual and physical unions) when the true essence of the spirit was known. Thomas spoke of a left hand becoming the right, the left eye becoming the right eye, joined, as well as the outer joined to the inner as a way to know the kingdom. “No way!” I thought. I had written essentially the same passage without ever having read or known of Thomas before. Could I had stumbled onto something incredibly important, but hidden, that was terribly inconvenient to church dogma but that laid down a secret door into the holiest of experiences?

No one knew this because the keys to it had been hidden and locked tight behind the watchful eye of the religion that shunned all talk of union with God as having anything that could be coincident, or similar to, sex. So naturally no one ever went there. Isn’t sex dirty and not of God, after all? No, sure, at least they would point out that God had, after all, created sex. But the real story lay in every heart: it would damn you to hell if you ever thought of God in this way. And of course, this would mean the boys would all have to be gay, which is unthinkable! No, this was all because someone had left out the stuff native to us AND to God.
As my awakening continued to unfold, I went back to the NHL and continued to find books that spoke directly to my experience in awakening. The Gospel of Phillip was discovered and I saw in his words the very thing that I knew all those years but could not put it to word. Its implications were explosive, and I knew that given where the world was as a whole, there was no way it would hear the truth. It had been busy hiding it for close to two thousand years.

Before I found the NHL I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know that it was called awakening, I only knew something big was happening, “a horse of another color” was how I thought of it at the time. I was a blank slate. I was free to observe the unfolding of this energy in me without any presuppositions to color my observations. 

Sitting in meditation, I felt a dual force that was in the energy rising up through my body. This dual force felt like a positive and negative energy, but alive and aware if itself. As this energy merged in my body, bliss grew to incredible heights. It felt like the union of a man and a woman, and that was just what I called them. As I progressed through the experience, I could feel the creation of a third and distinct energy that seemed to arise from the energetic union of these two seeming opposites in my awareness. This third energy was transcendent and it filled my body and mind in such a way that I felt myself being changed, transformed. I called this energy “the child” because it came about through a merging of the two in blissful union (spiritually). I began to know things that I had no way to know when I learned how to let this third energy propagate itself in my very being.  If I put my mind to any area of interest my mind felt as though it was accessing some database or library of knowledge that existed everywhere. The state of my consciousness, through this third energy, was making this possible. To top it off, I was aware that I was learning about how the universe was composed at the atomic level, a great secret I thought, I was privy to, until I found that what I had seen was described quite well in a branch of physics called quantum mechanics. While I learned about quantum mechanics in college, the sum of my familiarity with it was encapsulated in the phrase having to do with how the act of observation changed the outcome of an event. That was all I really knew about it, that is, until my inner fireworks began to take form in me. My experiences were much more vivid and detailed than anything in a book because I didnt think it, I became it. I felt the forces that were serving to form the universe that we know, and it was all really quite wonderful. What I had seen took in large swaths of realization, and it would take reading up on Plank, Bohr, and Heisenberg in order to realize that I was on to the same things that had occupied them for years. This is not to boast, but to show the potential that exists for humans to make extraordinary leaps in realization. I wasn’t a physicist. Imagine if a physicist could see as I saw, what could we discover? 
I was experiencing the “secret” knowledge that is a part of the awakening experience. The so-called Gnostics or early Christians were describing it, and as I continued to research, the Hindus had also described this as a facet of awakening.

When I read the Gospel of Phillip I realized that the triadic nature of my experience was being described in the pages of his gospel. The language was clear and unambiguous: two were joined in the Bridal Chamber, and out of it came the Christ. So simple, but elegant. They were describing my experience! Further, they were revealing the masculine and feminine aspects of the divine. The father and the mother were joined together (mirroring how the experience of ecstatic spiritual union which has its closest counterpart as  physical sexual union). But unlike plain physical sex, this union took your whole being in an embrace with a power or energy that was at once sentient but vast, a kind of ladder that allowed one to “ascend” into higher and higher levels if realization of what this union is for us. Clearly this “God” had no qualms, guilt, or shame in expressing itself in this way with us. You could say I swallowed hard at that point as I realized the truth. I knew that most believers in Christianity would not take any of this kindly. It asked us each to dive right into all that we are, including our sexual nature’s, in order to know this experience. Christianity, though, was built on shame with original sin and a pretense about our souls and bodies needing to be chaste for God. How had we gotten it wrong, I wondered? Had someone mentioned chastity at some point and it’s context had been mistaken somehow? God as I knew it was taking me whole and was connecting into me at my most basic and intimate of levels.

The questions that arise from the disconnect between what I was experiencing and what Christianity had been teaching for two thousand years. These questions formed the basis of a search that has led me to examine early Christianity to perhaps understand how the greatest story never got told. 

As it stands, the NHL is described as Gnostic, which is a way to differentiate it from the canonical Gospels in terms of content. It is also a way to dispense with the teachings as somehow heretical or unacceptable. Certainly anyone owning and teaching Thomas in 500 AD would have been branded a heretic by the church. But what do scholars know about these books? What do we know about the history of the early church and how the Gospels were written? 

My search is revealing that there is a lot to support the idea that the sayings of Jesus were used by many different groups, all with very different agendas and grasps of the teachings. For some, the most central teachings for realizing union with the divine was left out, altered, either intentionally or simply due to ignorance. Over time many people contributed to the loss of the central message and this is where my book will show people how it most likely happened. I will be using the work of other imminent scholars as well as my own discovery to write a book that turns the responsibility for cleaving to authority to the individual. If anyone is going to know this great secret, the reader will have to put down the books with all of the authorities and begin by inquiring within. Just like the kingdom is in you, so too is the ultimate authority residing in you. Certainly this was not something the church was keen on having its followers realize.

But it’s time. And this is why I am writing this book. It is also why I am writing so much about it on the blog because earliest Christianity was about awakening to the divine that is in us. It has much to teach us if we will but listen.

How do I say

without eyerolls

that I enter into a place

where I turn into something

that touches the All?

There are no altars

no candles

no scepters

nor crucifixes

or ankhs

but a vibrant presence

that changes each time I go

the going is itself a deep surrender

and my vibratory rate changes

deepens

and peels away into bliss

like love distilled

and burned as light.

This being is there

intelligent and aware

it is watching everything

because it is IN everything.

It is here that I sense a love

that it feels for every single thing

that it is itself

through this marvelous creation

that seems to have emerged from it

in a time outside of time

with no real inception

but an expanding sense of the conception

born of all aspects of its own being

which we here see as yin and yang

Goddess and God

the current cycling that is expressed in electricty

solar rays

and our very consciousness.

It is energy turning itself into everything else

and is thus connected

continuguous

boundless

and bounded all at once.

This being

it pours over your life

but remains silent

because that is just how sacred freewill is

and freewill emerges from individuality

and so

monks and gurus and yogis and all the rest

who wish to say “Kill the ego!”

are to me entirely deluded in their task

for this is by definition a sacred cow that this being seems to always respect

and hold dear.

Our individuality is no less an illusion than this being’s individuality.

Killing it only reveals the folly in such things

for the cosmic mind touches our own mundane world and mind

and you just can’t escape it.

So why try?

Here, come this way….

It is here in letting go so deep

that you can feel this being

which is the All.

Comprehension expands each time it seems

and what I see one day changes the next because I change and it changes each timeĀ  the embrace ensues….

It is like a vast switchboard where all channels are open from the smallest to the largest.

Here the words “split the stone and I am there” is understood.

It is in everything

but to see it

you must see yourself so clearly that all of this comes into view.

the good that you are is seeking you as much as you are seeking it….

like star-crossed lovers

this is

and this being

like it or not

wishes to seduce you in any way that you are willing

when you set aside your righteousness and sinful thoughts.

It is beyond sin

and thus is itself the sexiest lover of all

for it has no shame

when it gets so close that it can feel your breath

and caresses your soul

in that embrace that changes you forever.

 

II.

This is where it begins.

Looking inside, it is like I turn inside out

with bliss.

This is a lessonĀ  “seek the bliss and you find me”

It says.

But it is true that to find it

you must cast aside your shame

and be like a child

innocent

but sexy.

Our sex is one channel

one of many

all equivalent

and capable to bearing experience

of the divine here in us

the divine everywhere “out” of us.

We are all made one by this

because when we go to God and Goddess

we all go to the same place

like stones upon a great medicine wheel,

looking into the center

turning in the dim light of night

seeing the same brilliant star

all from different angles.

But when we reach it

it takes us completely.

It has been pulling at us for ages untold.

And here we are.

 

I have seen this great burst of Presence,yes,

but it contained no trappings of anything you might relate to.

Pure feeling

it felt purely

everything.

We say God is uncaring for it has remained outside our lives

and yet what I know is its is silent

only because it honors our individuality

our freewill

and that freewill has been in getting lost

from the very source

that is our lives

that is our redemption

and is the great wellspring of our love.

Why can’t we love like that?

“You soon will”

it says,

“….the closer you get to me”

it adds.

 

Like a blind woman reading braille,

this is how the God and Goddess read our lives….

it is not enough to see

it is everything to feel

as their invisible fingers trace every lost part of our days

the invisible core of our days

which we tread over the surface

never realizing that It resides within our self-made journey.

It loves us and wants us so much

that it just can’t stay out of our business.

It is there

like an egg waiting to hatch,

a world within our own.

A path lying within the core of all paths

a smile within our own

the love amidst the loneliness.

Quiet, yes, but yearning us

and when lit by its fire, we yearn right back.

We yearn perhaps imperfectly

but it still smiles

because any drop of our yearning it would take

because we then are on to a great mystery

which is its own to reveal in us.

It is the mystery within the mystery

the love within love

the soul of yearning within the body of yearning.

Its thoughts lie curled up in our own

just as we are curled up within its great mind

which goes on forever

in infinities enough to make you run red-cheeked from view.

“This is my love….

it has never been any other….

silent and unyielding as a great center point of everything….

waiting for you to come join in the feast.”

Here, you learn this God has been silent only in appearances

until its utter ubiquity has shown itself in everything that is.

It waits for you

and while it does,

its great love continues to unfold for you

as its great incomprehensibility

is its strong suit

so that every moment with it is like a sparkling gem with facets beyond count

the best of everything.

 

None of us are alone.

We might wax sad in those moments when our illusions grip us

but we know the truth

because we are more than the surface paths of our lives.

We make like stupid mongrels

when we are the royalty awaiting our kingdoms,

an inheritance

beyond all measure.

 

Here, within you is where you may find what you are looking for.

No cars or money or love of things will quite do it

for its simpler than that

but finer than All.

Its love is like that

and I could go on

like this

singing sacred mantras to the Light…

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