Archives for posts with tag: tantra

The quarentine has been the best test for my progress and development. Before the meme (below) spread across the internet I was at home working in my studio and keeping to myself and keeping a pretty good level of peace. I had a good wrinkle emotionally after having a close family member in the hospital and out of touch for weeks during the quarantine. That has been the hardest difficulty in the last six weeks. This has pointed to more work to be done – how do you not let a child being sick not get to you? So my reactivity needs some attention.

I am going to be delving into TRE to see if I can shake some things loose. If you don’t know about TRE, do a search on my blog and you will find a very good video that I linked to that shows how to fine tune your body in order to release stored or repressed emotion. Do I need to remind you that it is this type of emotion that is giving you the most trouble? I can say with great confidence that your biggest challenges come from these submerged emotions, what you call “triggers.” It is a fact that when you do this release work, you will release not just the emotion but also the trigger effect. I will add that some triggers are also clusters of very similar traumas over time because individual trauma events are all recorded perfectly and individually. As a result, be patient. That said, clearing consciousness has been THE way to return to peace. Peace is our native state because our souls know that we are immortal and without limit and born from bliss.

Enjoy the meme-do you feel me?

UPDATE: 5/18/2020

I settled in last week and performed TRE. In fact, I watched a video I had posted a couple of years ago in order to get the finer points of one part of the method, which is a posture that stretches more of the base of the psoas, the muscle group that gets effected and where so much trauma is stored.

I got into the position in order to fatigue the muscles. I was in that position for five, ten, then fifteen minutes and those muscles just weren’t fatiguing! I thought how it would be great if I could have someone sit on my stomach in order to get those muscles fatigued and beginning to tremble!

I kept at it, and you know, it wasn’t happening. Instead, I began a psoas stretch instead. I took a low long stretch, alternating between each leg.

After the stretch and into the being before going to bed, I found myself feeling increasingly grouchy, emotional. This wasn’t a full release, but I went to bed knowing I was going to work on this again. Maybe find a weight to get my psoas muscles trembling!

*To learn more about the psoas and its role in stored trauma or emotion, search on this blog and you will be able to see images of the psoas and exercises that can be used to stretch that important muscle.  In India, they call it the seat of the soul, and based on how much early emotion that can be locked up into it, your destiny emotionally certainly appears to hinge on the health of the psoas. Want to feel more at peace? Working out the wrinkles in the psoas can have a role in some of it.


I found this to speak so closely to my experience, what I strive for, what I have encountered, what I strive for more…truly, not as effort, but as what naturally arises as the self is purified more and more. More work to do, but his words are so on point…


In the first years of a spontaneous awakening without a practice or even understanding of what kundalini is, there is first bewilderment, then a settling into the rhythms and peculiarities of this new life.  You begin perhaps by learning that this has a name, and once you do, you probably gobble up as much information about it as you can.  The process itself, though, shows you that a lot of change is taking place in a very short span of time.  The chakras are pierced, opening, and then much more susceptible to the stirring of pranic force now moving more forcefully in the body.  Old things bubble up and lift away one by one, the energy is impacting your bodily systems “amping” up adrenaline, cortisol, but also dopamine, sexual hormones of testosterone and estrogen, as well as endorphins in the mix.  In a period of mere months it is not unusual to feel as though you have gone through what might feel as only achievable through years of traditional talk therapy sessions.  Things heat up, the process continues, and the light body releases what seems a vast backlog of stored emotional material that makes up the karmic load for the person.  The soul enters in, samadhi is experienced, incredible states of bliss are known, and the self feels as though it is being reformed, healed, and brought to a new understanding of its place in the order, the design—now revealed—of the cosmos.  All of this is rich, rewarding, and wonderful amidst the backdrop of such great energetic intensity.

Over time, the self most often begins its struggles with the trappings of ego.  We all seem to come to it in our own way when we are ready (or not entirely ready as the came may be). This is often marked by what is termed the Dark Night of the Soul, more a period of time than a singular event which is where the “rubber meets the road” in coming to terms with how the self was ordered prior to awakening. This is due to an arrangement of the psyche where ego was once front and center, and then is slowly – perhaps painfully – pushed into the background by the sheer force and immensity that is now facing it. Ego is simply being outpaced by cosmic consciousness, and the cosmic has to move now.  As necessary as it is, most call this a death because of how traumatic it is for some people (at least while it is happening).  This is, though, a very necessary stage to reach in order to catch the “new gear” that our awakening selves require, which is loosening the ties to the part of the linear self in favor of the nonlinear holistic self. As an aside, I will say that this is only “necessary” when our ego is already so centrally focused in our awareness—not everyone will need this “death” whose ego is already not so front and center, but it will happen naturally if it is needed. This ties directly into how the brain itself carries a mirror of or for the cosmic within it that allows it to process cosmic consciousness and its sweeping vastness (which is the right brain, which I write about a lot in other parts of this blog).  When this happens successfully, cosmic consciousness is no longer  overwhelming, or a fearsome struggle. It is a shift (not a death). It just becomes the new normal. Things become easier over time, and this new gear comes into fuller use.  The mind quiets, there is a greater sense of peace and understanding that this new condition, the awakened self, involves.  I wont say that all is perfect peace, but things are much easier, especially for those who awakened spontaneously. But with it comes, perhaps, a place in experience that is what I think of as the “now what” state.

Many people experience this state at one time or another.  With the incredible bliss comes crashes, and the yo-yo effect I mentioned in my previous post related to comping with kundalini.  Some call it “rubber-banding” or “contractions” of the self into its old familiar pattern. You have been to the summit, you have had incredible insights, the world has been turned on its head, and events now take on a different form in their creation.  You know that your own consciousness is absolutely creating so much of your life experience as evidenced by synchronicity, and other events very similarly aligned by way of their significance to what you might think of as your destiny are popping up all over the place. But in seeing behind or through the veil that is so often described as being a part of awakening (the veil that separates the different parts of the self— conscious, subconscious, as well as superconscious) you perhaps see into the very simple source code that runs all of this, the very engine of creation….the twin energies that are now alive in you that have been described in many esoteric traditions as the “Shakti and Shiva” union, the “I am one with the father and mother” described by Jesus in the so-called Gnostic texts of early Christianity. All of these traditions are simply pointing to the union of opposites within consciousness that make cosmic consciousness possible.  But in knowing this, its almost as though there is this “what now?” moment at one point or another.  You can reach a point where all of the old ways of being no longer hold their interest.  Your body, too, might have been so impacted by the intensity of the physiology of kundalini that it creates a physiological form of doldrums within you, too.

If you have a karmic draw to certain people, those engage you and keep you in the intensity, but when you begin questioning even these powerful draws, this too can fall away and you enter into this very quiet place that is increasingly so new that it feels like a land of no more turbulent storms, no more drama, only you and the Tao, the persistent Presence of the All emanating throughout creation.  You no longer have as your god the dramas of the old life.  The battle standard is put away, and the world becomes cause-less.  It is a good place to be, but it can feel like a loss sometimes. As Westerners, we are extremely unfamiliar with working with life in this way.  This is very similar to what the Zen Buddhists describe as “zero” which means neither for or against anything, a place of no agenda, a point many observe as being where you can more clearly glimpse the truth of your own life and how the world is (to the degree that we each are capable). I think that being able to reach this place is actually important for the still-deeper blocks that remain as the deeper blocks that even our own intellect or compassion is outpaced or eluded by.

This can manifest or come in as such a stillness that it puts you off, making you feel at a loss as to what to do.  When you know how things work in the world instead of thinking that you do by taking a side or an agenda, and you lose your investment in ego, the need to go on another crusade just drops away.  We are, I think, so accustomed to making life into this dramatic play that we are in (it makes us feel engaged and fully in on the game) that when it changes, it can feel like a kind of loss of sorts.  Maybe less a loss as a feeling of having won the world, you have also given it up in the way you had lived in it before. You actively lose so many things that you thought were important that had been driving you so hard and for so long, and this loss can leave you feeling like you are resting in a windless still-water world with no up or down, no “this” or “that.”

The part of you that corresponds with the super-ego, that I knew to be something I called the “watcher” (Osho uses the same term it turns out) is a higher order version of the earthbound ego, but without the restrictive qualities it places on us, helps to drive this feeling of detachment.  Its incredibly useful when learning to surrender and to let all of the old memes drop away. For some of us, detachment can be hard sometimes.  You see the drama in the world and this super-self ego says “There have been wars….there will be more wars….there will be drama, and still more dramas; they will come and go, and drama will unfold as it has done in the past….this is all a drama that repeats for those who need to work through their own junk….keep moving through it….just keep moving and be like a passerby.” And it is this state, that without bliss, can feel hollow or empty.  It can lead to depression, and it can feel as though everything you fought so long and hard for in your previous life has less and less meaning (because it is supposed to mean something, right?). The things that fulfilled you before no longer fulfill you now. This could be a crisis or it could be a remedy.

I can tell you that this is a big adjustment.  I can also say that when this took hold of me (or I took hold of it), I found that this happened after years of very intensive releases and the dropping of ego in the midst of a 24/7 awakening experience that had proceeded for five to seven years.  I had incredible insights daily, unbelievable synchronicities that would boggle the mind, as well as difficult challenges as I learned to drop more and more of my own karmic material. It felt like a very real victory to have been able to release so much material.  But it left me with a “blah” feeling as well. There was so much change and so fast!  Once I was able to reorient myself, I found that in my own experience, there was more material to work through, another layer lying deeper still in the substratum of my awareness that I could not see in the previous cycle of releases.  All of this happened when I was able to release the easiest material and had swept through all of the major chakra centers and through the five koshas, or layers, within each chakra (it is said that we have five, and my own experience has shown me that this corresponded to numerous clearings of the same chakra over and over but at different “states” of the energy).

What I found for myself was that the material that remained was much more fundamental and even primal in nature, the blocked energy that lay in the root for me that had to do with childhood nurture and my feeling safe and secure in the world in a material way.  The point I noticed was that the blocks that remained were the ones that had been the most activated and were the most fresh.  Since they were the most commonly activated, they also were he least understood or really “seen.” These were blocks that had been triggered during my very difficult divorce just a couple of years after awakening began. As a result, I observe, they were the blocks most difficult to let go of. These seemed to now lay in a substratum of my psyche that was the most irrational, most fundamental, and also the most difficult to get at.  Yes, I had had some very challenging times doing the work up until this time with blocks in the heart, throat, crown, and the solar plexus, sacral, and root. It all seemed like a mammoth effort that spanned seven years.  Now it seemed as though I reached some plateau and while I knew there was more to do (I could feel it pretty clearly in my energy body as tension, pain, or resistance), things had slowed down a good bit as I felt like I was literally chipping away at a stone now instead of these big sweeps of release. It was here that the “blahs” entered in.  I think that this is one stage where I could have gotten stuck really easily had I stopped paying so much attention to bringing in the forces of change in my body.

What I know is that this was not some end, but merely the beginning of another chapter.  I would meet friends who would be in the same place, a signal to me that life was a great mirror for me in telling me where I was.  As I sat helping a friend move through a guided meditation, I realized that the visualizations I was providing were just the ones that I needed to use in order to get deeper into my own rooted issues.

Desire is such a double-edged sword. It can drive us powerfully to discover and to find what had been a mystery only moments previously.  It can also serve to hold blocks in place, too, because desire that is not pure is being colored by our many blocks.  We wind up wanting things or being drawn through desire to our very own karmic material, which are the things that cause us trouble and are not good for us (even as we crave them).  It can feel like a trick to us that karma creates chemistry, but being double-edged, I observe that if used properly that it can also free us.  This is very much in keeping with the soul of what tantra is, the part that is about the lightening bolt of realization through using desire as the crazy wild energy that can move mountains (and no, I am not talking about using it for sex, I am talking about using it for supreme bliss).  It has to be used as honestly as possible, though. It can also burn the mountains down. Over time, I note, that desire itself transmutes as our own karma clears.  I suspect that it is an adjustment period, and desire itself is not the bad thing so many point to. For as much as the wise ones (you know…just about everyone who speaks out about spiritual matters) speaks out against desire, I do not align to those views at all. I think that we simply do not understand desire and how our karma takes it over.  While I speak as though its something being done to us, realize that all karma is based on a choice, a decision that we once made in the past, so it isn’t like we are helpless at all in the face of our own seeming karmic battles.  It isn’t that desire itself is bad, it is that desire is so pure a force from the divine that it flows through everything, even our own blocked material.  Animated in this way, old desires that we know aren’t good for us rise like phoenix’s from the ashes.  We get upset with ourselves for having fallen for what seemed like a merry-go-round (which of course it is).  Clean up the material that desire flows through and desire is free in a way that perhaps few (including his Holiness the Dalai Lama) have  yet to experience.

I know that this might seem like a u-turn on the path of having lost direction and passion for life, but I know in my heart that even the Prime Creator of the All lives in a sublime state of desire.  Its desire birthed all realities, all worlds, all possibilities.  Desire was what moved it to create in the way that it did.  Its release of us and our potential from its own dreaming was itself the orgasmic surprise just before a moment of sheer risk of losing it all, that by releasing it, it might just all float away like the children we birth who leave home and exit our lives. There is, I know, a vista ahead of us where, freed from our shame and guilt and glitches, is an experience that is beyond limits.  I know it sounds grandiose, but in truth I am talking about being bowled over by a cup of tea or a sunset, or dinner out with friends.  The simplest of moments looking out your window becomes a sheer miracle.

What I am saying is don’t turn away from desire, but examine it. If it seems as though it is causing you trouble, it is a sign that there is more material that needs clearing out.  I can’t tell you the end-point in this simply because it is new ground and we are all traveling together.  But its the next big thing, I think.


You might think that my words on the sacred two are about tantra and are thus sexual in nature.  I have had friends make comments about my poetry and writing as being about sex.  But that would be  a mistake.

Most often, when I write about the “two” I am actually writing about the twin forces contained within awakening.  This was what Jesus spoke about when he said “I am one with the father and the mother.”  Problem is, mainstream Christian dogma wrote the “mother” part out so that the religious experience became an all-male club.  The Hindu, though, along with the Taosists, recorded it rightly: kundalini, or life force, the Tao, is known as twin forces that move through the body and awareness as a potentiating force of both healing and radical change.  To show how powerful this force is, it is possible to do more healing work in ten minutes with this force alive in your than in ten years of standard talk therapy.  Part of the energy is said to be sexual.  And here is what is so important, right along with the twin-thing; the force of awakening is like a carefully controlled stream of water being so carefully tended, is allowed to overflow its tight bounds and allows for other water and other new bounds to enter in.  The flow grows, the flow breaks down old barriers.  It is sexual, yes, but it is creative, it is mental, it is physical, it is emotional, it is ego, it is intellect, it is all that we ARE. By allowing our energy to flow as one varied current, we can actually catch a glimpse of what we can be if we become less compartmentalized and controlled.  We return to a primordial state which I describe as a return to the Garden.  This is us, you see….

All that we ARE.  So my poetry?  It is about THIS. And yes, it is cast in the form of pure adoration.  This is significant and important because the “two” are not themselves really separate.  They are in truth ONE, when you experience them within your awareness, but they pull apart to form what seems to be two in the etheric body structure of the Ida and Pengala channels, and in so doing, they become a powerful creative force.  This force exists in every single person on the planet.  So when this force is liberated deep within ourselves, the twin force of kundalini releases, it is said, the Shakti and Shiva currents through the body.

Like a plug into the cosmic, we plug into the universe with a blast up the spine. Never are we ever the same after this.  And I make them adore one another like lovers because of HOW closely they work with each other in the body when you become aware of them. You cannot have one without the other.  I found that I could allow the “two” to grow in strength by allowing them to come closer and closer to one another through nothing except my own focus and awareness on my own process of energetic flow through my body and upward through the chakras and my spine.  Out of these two, there is birthed an even finer form of energy that is the core of the Christ, or Cosmic Consciousness.  Awakening is akin to conception, what the early Christians mention as “begetting” as a spiritual practice (the only remnants we have of this teaching are extant in the gnostic writings of the Nag Hammadi).  For the bulk of Christianity, the subtlety of what Jesus had to say was largely lost where his core apex teachings were concerned.  He was a man who spoke in pictures and parables to people who were drop-dead literal in their understanding and approach.  But you think I feel the Christ?  I feel what HE felt in his life and what he sought to get his followers to know.  This is also the same force that all yogis and pilgrims have felt down through time.  This is a HUMAN experience, you see, not religious or dogmatic.

I pay homage to these things.  I pray, I look, I long, I breath, and I find healing through them.  Always always, as they turn turn around the other.  And yes, I am here to state emphatically that you cannot have God the Father without Goddess The Mother.  Anything less is ignoring the truth that will one day stare straight at you like looking down the barrel of a cosmic gun ready to shoot you through and through with truth, murdering your lies and your false belief.  We all hold lies in ourselves, and most of us do not know they are lies.

Strong words, I know.  But I am through pussy-footing around.

Time to bring back the Her to the Him.  And that is what I am doing.  My words. they are about the She as much as the He.  they are at once religious in feeling but shunning dogma and false belief.  They are also fanciful, playful, fun, and passionate.  Just like every good love story should be.  So there you go.  Sexual energy, along with the REST of your energy is healing.  Subsume or hide your sexual energy out of some feeling of shame or guilt and you lose a strand of your own healing.  And what does that get you?  More repression and sickness.

So why did we strip the man-god from his woman?  Why do you think we did that? I mean, really, what do you think was beneath all of that? Fear? Short-sightedness?  There may be many reasons, but in a moment we can change all of that by choosing differently.

The Goddess joins with her God right here inside of me.  It informs me, heals, and innervates.  It is for me the way Home.  And what is this?  It is merely a joining of all the opposite ends of things in the universe using a glorious and beautiful form of cosmic short-hand.  ALL opposites are thus strung along the invisible string of the Creator….IN OUR AWARENESS.  And that is the core of all religious feeling.  So back to the poetry….

Within cell walls


lies curled

the Two


in blue

and golden hues

an endless meditation

birthing the spirit of all religion.


His gaze

undoes her

she brings to him

his returning


bearing vulnerabilities

as the sweet syllables

of those secret mysteries.


Here they turn

forevers upon their lips

their sweetly swaying hips

Round and round

for infinities

a perfectly pitched moment

measured in whispers



born through soulfulness

and awe.


Everything else falls away

all memory is locked into a moment


worlds form from this

flowers and sea foam

gallactic twisting

rivers runnin

stones tumbling


but feeling

prayers lasting centuries

ushered from their lips

a lineage of everything

where the god and  goddess




turning round and round

central core

within a cell trebled into life

bursting with potentiality.

This is the divine masculine and feminine….

yin and yang

the servants to the Tao

handmaidens to the All

and that dwells in each leaf

and cell

and doubt

that it even exists…

I woke up two days ago with a whole book running through me. It is a book about union.  After getting the bulk of it in that early morning rising, I was able to see that this project may well move concurrently with some blocks I am working on releasing right now.  About three weeks ago, perhaps longer, there was this release deep within the root that I had been circling for years.  As it has lifted, one side channel within one center, I tend to expect other things to give or lift into awareness.

The deepest part of this project involves union at our deepest levels, and in order to do this properly, if I am to write less from the head and from the whole of me, then I have to get to work living this.  This is how these things tend to go.  A project like this is a kind of slight of hand where something in my higher self is conspiring to lead me into places even I do not fully know how to do for whatever my limitations impose on me.  But in the process, it is worked out.  Like magic, we undo ourselves.  How did I accomplish that?  Something bigger is in the wings.

The book is about each center, the major centers for energy called wheels or discs in Sanskrit, meaning chakra.  But for me, they are each wombs for the creative fire to be lit.  Each one resonates at a different frequency.  each has both masculine and feminine capacities and currents moving through them.  One is pierces from below while it in turn pierces the next, if you follow a straight-line progression (which this type of thing is not always so—nor necessary that it even be so!). But still it is a nice image.

It is a book on Tantric practice from someone who has not studied Tantra one whit….or much at all.  But I am audacious enough to state that I know it…..that we all know it to varying degrees.  This is important because Tantra as a practice is based on an overarching energy that is what we are.  When we work with it by refining our energies of creative potential, it is what Tantra is even if we do not call it that.  The good thing is that this can be known directly in your own experience.  Most who awaken speak of being initiated into Tantric practice even if they never knew what the fine points of it are in the Tibetan tradition.  My efforts are not in seeking to emulate any system, but to create imagery that Westerners may be able to relate to.

We will see how it goes!  With Waking The Infinite, as a manuscript all but done (save for some editing work), the creative juices are continually moving.  This effort, though, I think will be much shorter and to the point than WTI has been.  It begins with solitary work, which is, I feel, the very core of all authentic practice and which is necessary in order to “get it right” and then moves into an understanding of the vessels, their liberation from past patterns to how each works with the other in a process of both sublimation, liberation, and union.  Liberation and union may seem at first to be at cross purposes, but it is I feel what lies before us.  Might seem dual, but then so do Shakti and Shiva seem dual (but they aren’t).




When you awaken, you awaken to a world where nothing much is the same as it was.  Clearly, there is a channel within that is opened.  Thought energy is more than just your own private thoughts.  You come to realize that thoughts really DO have power.  And here we are on the planet, chattering away inside of ourselves, and its possible to hear all of this.  Your own thoughts aren’t as private as you may have previously realized.  It isn’t that people are snooping on you, no, because once you awaken, there just isn’t the desire to such things.  The quality of your thought counts, especially when you realize just how real thoughts are.

So thought is itself energy.  We ourselves are made up of all kinds of sheaths or facets within us that all process energy in a different way.  We have maybe five basic bodies that bend the energy in certain ways the way that a prism bends light and breaks it into different colors (if you are into dividing us into such neat categories)….physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc., and so each of these will experience the same energy differently.  Each will be a facet or expression of what you are. At one place it will feel as exquisite sexual energy while in another place it will feel more sensual, less sexual.  In another place, it will feel so powerful as though you can do anything.  In another place within you, this energy might be like divine love, in another place it might illuminate and clarify your inner sight….there are so many ways that energy from the cosmos can be experienced!

One aspect of your energetic being is sexual energy.  Now we have a lot of repression surrounding this part of ourselves.  There is a huge amount of shame as a race on this count.  This shame that has remained unresolved in most people and it has tended to make many of us prisoners to old hurts and old karmic threads that have kept us on the merry-go-round of karma for lifetimes.  LIFETIMES. But sexual energy is one aspect of who you are, and it is easier to deal with the more you allow yourself to be healed. Once you are able to clear each vehicle (as the Hindus call it), as you clear each center that channels energy through you, you can begin to have a clearer and more peaceful existence.  You can also use each center for life in a way that brings you fulfillment instead of snags or problems.

What makes Tantra so important isn’t that its about sex, its that it deals with sexual energy as a way to reach union with the divine as well as a way to heal powerfully and also quickly (when you make yourself available to it).  See, the divine does not have the shame you have.  The universe has no problem meeting you and merging with you in any way you are willing to merge with it.  The vast consciousness that IT is simply has moved beyond shame a long time ago.  As a result of this, it seems perfectly capable of experiencing bliss and wonder no matter how we approach it.  the only thing missing is how WE react to the same thing.  Learning how to be without shame is important.  By this I do not mean to say that you are shameless and thus unstudied in your morality, no.  What I mean is that you are more like a child.  You return to a purer place within before all of the guilt and shame about your body, about who you are or how you are was put into place by you. When you do that, you experience whatever it is more directly, less encumbered.  When you do this sexually, you are dealing with a very powerful form of energy.  This energy can speed yourself along, but it is not for the feint of heart.  Using all of you is a beautiful thing in spiritual work.  It reaches into religion but without the dogma. Sexual energy, then, moves fast and is felt by others.  You need to be careful about how you direct it and use it.  As a result, your own mind and your own issues need to be healed and worked on so that the quality of your experience will continue to be more and more refined.

Approaching this kind of work requires a great deal of self honesty and courage. To dig down beneath the surface is something that most people find very uncomfortable.  To do this kind of work, the very soul of what tantra is (which isn’t predicated on sex….no…sex is ONE manifestation or arm of tantra) you need to be ready and you need to be willing to see that some of what you think you are perceiving is part of a worn out belief system about yourself, about sex itself, and about other people as well.  There are few other places where these shortcomings rise to the surface as quickly as in sacred sexuality.  Most are afraid of it, or see what they want to see through the eyes of shame when they get down into its depths.  But the path provides a powerful and potent way for healing to take place.

It is hard for some folks to know what remains.  What remains in you is what gets in the way with a direct experience of yourself and the divine.  What remains to be surrendered?  What is not in your highest?  It is hard to know what isn’t in your highest always…..because sometimes your highest is a few steps ahead of where you are… this means that you have to be willing to accept what your higher self sends to you as signs, as directives, or as outcomes or events that can lead you to the next step in your path.   In time, with enough attention, the answers will come.  I know this may sound laissez- faire, but I promise you that this is an aspect of co-creation that will work if you allow it.  the secret is that you can make ANY technique work IF you believe in it enough.  If doing a series of incantations allows you to believe that something will come to pass, then by golly, it will!  That is the nature of belief!  Ask that you be shown.  And be patient.

Keep at it.

Sometimes you need to be ready to see before you can see. Let the universe pave the way for you.  You think you are this limited being in this small body when in truth you are one life looking out through this one body but you have many many many more bodies, lives, experiences beyond comprehension.  With time being an illusion, ALL of you is available NOW.  Your future selves, your God or Goddess self in its advanced state is available to you…..and its at your fingertips.  Accelerate yourself….and you will see.



So tantra isn’t really about sex, but it is about creative energy, surrender, and, yes, sexual energy.  There is a very big difference, there, though.  Some feel the need to respond in a more typical way with tantric energy and release the energy.  However, it can also be used to elevate ones self.  You can use it to do things, create things, or to live a life that is devoted to love in a more subtle way.  There are countless ways to utilize the energy, and no one way better than another. But its not always about sexual union only.  Feeling sexual energy is not the same as being engaged sexually, and this energy when felt powerfully enough actually has the power to transform you.  This has been the aim of many followers, many monks, many priests and priestesses down through the ages.  It isn’t the only one, of course, but it is one very valid way toward self transformation.

I have found how love and sexual energy go hand in hand….for love is NOT sexual energy, but sexual energy is an expression of love, or CAN be if love is holding its hand.  Do you see?  Sexual energy is like a raw fire.  For a long time we have simply misused this gift, not understanding its hidden potential and power for healing. We can use that fire to burn down the house and barn or we can  manage that fire within the bounds of love and devotion.  By allowing yourself to be open to the All, you can experience something here on the planet with the divine that is simply not here with many humans yet.  Being able to FEEL something HERE that is about this seeming “other world” on the planet is huge.  It is what I call Anchoring The Vibration.  Being able to anchor a vibration here is so important.  Really.  So by doing this kind of work, you aren’t JUST doing it for yourself, you are also laying down a path that makes it easier for others to reach it.  You are setting up a frequency that will be easier for others to match or follow or find.

And I am just here reminding you that this is so.

So with tantra, you can find God-dess or the divine.  It is right in front of you.  Now breathe deep and just let it in.  Let it be.  Realize and remember who you are.  You are more than just this one life.  You are so much more… breathe it in and let the divine cradle and love you….it is possible to know the “more” that you are by letting it all be.

The energy will guide you if you don’t allow yourself to go immediately to the sexual part.  Feel into the energy what is less obvious at first. Meditate on it, and feel how you feel when you surrender sexually, and then seek to do the same without sexual expression.  What does that result in?  Does it bring you to a level of humility or devotion?  Does it help you to see yourself in a new way?

Part of sexual energy is connected to something called prana.  Some think of it as life force, but I experience it as a universal energy that is of a very fine vibration.  As you allow this energy to move through you, it can help to throw off old traumas and hurts as well as false beliefs about yourself and the world.  By learning how to become more aware of prana, you can also learn how to direct it with purpose.  This is done largely through breathing exercises.  Breathing stimulates the flow of prana.  The reason why “breath of fire” is used in kundalini yoga, a very fast and aggressive form of breathing, is because it CAN stimulate a lot of prana to flow.  Yogi’s have learned that prana is stimulated by breath.  As a result, there are methods, entire branches of yoga dedicated to this one practice such as pranayama yoga.  Through centering focus on energy centers in the body and through breath work and fasting, the ancients knew that kundalini could be aroused.  Kundalini is itself nothing more than an abundance of prana in the body.  It is not a spirit or a religion at all.  By arousing this energy, the self comes face to face with an acceleration of process in healing.  And coincidentally, creative and sexual energy are also enhanced (but then, so are all other faculties).

If you thought that tantra was just about sex or an orgy or something like that, you missed the boat on that one.  Like the layers of a bloom, the flower opens to reveal what is often a mystery to many.  We have just scratched the surface.  U

Blessings to you…



I will admit that I used the title to grab your attention.  When we think of the word tantra, it sound exotic, a spiritual way to feel sexy, or maybe a sensual form of spirituality.  Unfortunately, tantra I think is being utilized in a way that helps sell workshops on how to be a better lover, but maybe not always a better person.

I will keep this short and sweet.

Beneath what you feel is what has been overlooked.  What is overlooked is what it yet to be resolved.  What is not resolved turns in you and is your master.  Most people simply do not have the awareness of what lies deeply lodged in them.  Sometimes they need the awareness in others to point it out.  Sometimes we have seen it but ignore it or do not see it for what it is.  But as you do the work to surrender all of your junk, to die to what you were to be born to what you can be, your experience of energy will absolutely change.

It will be like layers of old clothes are taken from your body as you return naked but intensely alive.  What was removed was what you thought defined you.  And for a time, it did.  Your hates, your dislikes, your fears, your worries, your concerns, your hopes and dreams (often driven partly by some fears and worries!!) all come off of you and what remains?

You do.

So your experience of what you think tantra is will change dramatically.

I have discovered how sexual energy can actually be sublimated fear and rage.  Really?  Yes, really.  But its not easy to get to, but its always there if you look at it.  Look at HOW you feel with your sexual energy.  really be honest with yourself.  Do you ever feel an edge of fear?  DO you ever feel an edge of rage for some reason?  Do you tell yourself “Oh, that’s just my animal nature coming out,” or “It’s only natural to want to pull hair or rip off clothes….”  Look more deeply into this.  FEEL into it.  Do you feel yourself expanding or do you feel some part of you contracting?  Do you feel sexual energy as sexual tension that has to be released?  There is something deeper down.  We can get so drawn in by the draw, the yearning that this energy drives in us.  But the energy is not like some perfectly sacred thing that is perfect.  it is only as good as our insides.  We are like a lampshade that has any number of smudges and darkened regions that when cleared allow the light to shine through without any struggle to see or know it.  The sad thing to me is that tantra is so often sold as a sexual experience when in truth it is a path of liberation that only comes about when you are willing to remove all of the old lenses that have made it seem so raw and even hard sometimes.  At first tantra might lure us through lust, but it wins us through bliss.  Not just yearning, but a yearning that is like a river that flows into larger and larger tributaries and then opens out into a sea and then vast ocean.  It is hard to know sometimes where all of this will lead, but if you want to know where you are, observe your yearning and how it makes you feel.

It was once explained that tantric temples were themselves entirely empty and plain.  They might have had incredible depictions of sexual love on their outsides.  They might even have sensual sculptures as one enters.  The central areas, though, were plain and remarkably empty.  Perhaps that might serve as a clue to what lies ahead in this journey.

Part of the answer lies in death.  Death, you see, is the soul of surrender.  Implied in it is a form of surrender that is ultimate.  In dying, we give up all investment in what has come before in order to know what lies ahead.  By conquering our fear by simply allowing ourselves to allow what is inevitable to be, we die.  We die to what we conceived of or were.  And the truth is, we can die many many deaths in any day or week or year.  Most often, we cling to life over our fear of death.  When we embrace death, not actual physical death, but the soul of what death is, we are transformed.

In releasing the fear we have of our ultimate death you can also begin to free yourself from the fear of other forms of death, the ones that actually make the biggest difference in your life.  By learning to be fearless and to live in the present, you overcome death.  You do. It isn’t that you become immortal, it isn’t that you will continue to live in your body.  No.  Your body is designed to live a certain time and then return to the earth.  It serves you in the same way that a petal serves a flowering tree.  The petal will soon fall and become the earth even as the tree continues to live and grow ever larger.  Your soul is like this tree.  It lives on forever.  Countless lives, realities, worlds.  You may not see it or know it.  You may not have to, either.  That isn’t the answer.  Knowing about a past life isn’t as important as being able to surrender all that hung you up in that past life and that also hangs you up in this one.  As you remove these barriers to becoming, you also open new doors to perception, memory and awareness.  It is just that simple.  Your higher self knows the many lives you have lived, yes, for THAT is important to it.  What is important to you is that you get this one right.  In so doing, you do a service to all the selves that you are….that you have been and shall be, for even as you release fear of death, you also open up new possibilities in living.  You begin to realize that you are just one of many bodies, lives, experiences.  Suddenly the picture broadens because your perception also broadens.  Here, fear of death begins to wane.  We each cease the grasping to the material that held us and which kept us powerless through fear.

it is the same with tantra.  It is the same with a smile.  It is the same with food.  The same with music and a billion other things.  They all change.  You change.  It is marvelously simple and direct.  And the way to making this road smooth is to know that you are more than just this one self, or life.  As ego slips away, something more slips in. Your larger or expanded self has more and more room to simply be.  Before, it had been crowded out.  Now there is more room for it to express itself.

Then the old sexual draw becomes something lighter and more wondrous than ever before.  We are each here, knitting heaven and earth together.  When you can face death head-on, those countless deaths to what you thought were ideas and investments that were so important but now no longer matter, you touch the essence of this path.  It is not for the feint of heart, but we were all born with radiant hearts and souls.  So how about we let in that light?

When I awoke tantra awoke within me.  I was given keys to a kingdom.  I would learn that this energy, fire and water mixed, two ends of the universe brought together in my subtle field, were now powering a new engine of becoming.  Two wires from the cosmos twisted together, uniting the entirety of the universe.  This perhaps sounds a boast, but it is the only answer I can give, for I know through experience that what lies within me is without limit.  It is only the “I” that  serves to limit.  When “I” goes away, the sky explodes and the earth shakes.  You would not believe except that it must be true.

There is much said about tantra, all of it touches on tantra simply because of what tantra is.  But like those two wires now joined, it is everything that is made of this energy.  I must infer that the entire universe is built on this energy, subtle shifts and changes in its vibration.  It is why tantra is the lightening path to enlightenment.  It is so close to the divine.  It is the Gnostic bridal chamber, the Buddhist bliss, the Hindu nirvana.  I experience it as a flow because of who and what I am, not because of anyone or anything.  I have discovered a natural original state.  It pours through me like water, fire, entire deserts and oceans slip through me.  I do not identify any one grain, I let it all simply be.  The more I do that, the less I must grasp.  The less I grasp, the stronger it becomes.  The less I grasp, the more I know.  Some larger mind must take over to get it all.  “I” is simply to limited to do that.

But for me tantra is not about another, but the dance of the divine within.  The cup has been emptied by awakening.  Cracks have been made in the facade, the walls came tumbling down.  the glue that holds it together, this is tantra.  Each stone was reused, but by kundalini’s hand did I follow and replace each stone.  The work continues.  But it is in acknowledging imperfection that I embrace what is perfect and no worries arise about tomorrow or now or yesterday.  The bliss, orgasmic, flows stronger and deeper as a result.  The more I let go, the stronger it becomes.  Not because of anything, not for someone or something.  Simply because of what I realize, what I am.  What I am is what you are, what the neutrino is, the river, star, and soul. Not above, beyond anything.  What everything is.  If you ever thought there was something more, that thins weren’t entirely right….some secret lay between the pages of your life, then some distant memory in you was most likely pondering this.

That does not satisfy most who must have an object for it.  Something to grasp outside of themselves….a person, place, a THING.  But this is a thing that so not a thing that it is all.  What do you think the all  will change you.  Tantra is troublesome since tantra is a lightening path and not all can traverse its bolts of light in an even manner.  I suspect that the pairing must be born of heaven’s most perfect grace for this to be.  For centuries we have been paired based on karmic attraction, an attraction that utterly escapes most people since the attraction seems to be THE thing.  Grasping, it says we are less than perfect and need something to complete us.  Once all grasping stops, grace begins.  Once grace fills you, changes you, heals you, perhaps the road to another may open.  But this wonder is so great that turning from the old way is itself a wonderful mercy.  Just to know yourself as this incredibly beautiful being inhabited as it is with the presence of two such adorned lovers, showing you the way to something better.  Just in who you are is the secret to tantra.  Be nothing less than what you are deeper down.

Until then, tantra is used for all manner of purposes, to achieve a goal, to come closer to a lover, to heal the heart, to still the mind, to soften the body and renew the self.  Instead of a need to release, tantra becomes a building of orgasmic potential.  This grows ever higher and builds and tumbles through old thresholds as fear is cast out.  For those whose potential for building this energy is high, great fear can be felt in others.  It tears down the old barriers, it is just what it does.  This can be very hard for people who are not ready.  And to be sure, tantra is not something to be taken lightly if you are to tread its path powerfully.  You must go by grace or else lust will only remain.  For generations, this has been how it has been.  Tantra has not always been given the opportunity to raise people high enough to know its amazing potential.  I cannot tell you what you do not already know, for you would simply not believe it.  In not believing, you would be lost and assume what is itself not correct.  It is only through direct transmission that we each find the essence of tantra, and this transmission comes directly through our core and unites with the rest of everything.  The union comes when we cease grasping for something outside and grasp the infinite within.  Here, the two elements of yin and yang are merged in the light body.  Here, the engine of creation begins.  It does not seem to need to ever stop, and will build as high as your “I” can stand.  the more you build it, the more it rebuilds you.  As this happens, there is more room for grace.  So now walk out into the world and do what you feel is yours to do, mundane things achieved, done, eggs cooked and tea made.  All while trembling on the verge of explosion, but never exploding.  Each explosion, frozen in time as it builds in potential.  This, for me, is the tantric path.

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