Archives for the month of: August, 2014

Stafford Art Glass

imageIt is possible to know the inspired in the moment.  It is possible to feel yourself suspended in the moment in a place that you have never known or realized was even possible.  It is the impulse behind all religion for it is surely a religious experience but without the dogma.  And so, you see, this has been what has interested me about art….when those moments of inspiration would come, I knew there was something about it that was like…..well….I wont say it was like talking to God….no….but it was something that I knew I ressonated with.  I found that when I learned how to sustain this moment of inspiration so that it entered into my life as a steady state level of energy, it began to take it apart.  My life that is.  But the advantage was that is made it more possible for me to do what I…

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I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting ot figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting to figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work.  And I didn’t. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

68587152_new-pink-baby-crib-bed-canopy-mosquito-netting-jewelry-When I awoke, when I began to realize that something quite different had happened to me and that whatever “this” was, it wasn’t just imagination or some unusual effect of my physiology….I wondered what on earth this was….I wondered if there was any sort of explanation that would help me to understand what this force was that had entered my body and my life.  

Since I did not know what this thing was that was taking place within me, I was free to simply watch and observe, which was itself a great gift.  As I did this, I communicated with a friend about this happening to some degree and based on what I was telling him about my sense of two forces rising up within me that felt like a cosmic yin/yang, he pointed me in the direction of the Gnostic texts most notably found in the Nag Hammadi. He had studied in the seminary and knew these documents and how the church had sought to turn a blind eye to them as being inconvenient to church doctrine. 

I found to my surprise that these documents were describing what I was experiencing better than anything I had up to that moment I had found out there.  I would later come across the Hindu texts about kundalini, but it seemed that for the moment I needed very much to see all of this through an old lens of Christianity first.  I sense that it has been part of healing a rift I have felt I have carried about what went down with Christianity.  Its another story and I wont bore you, except to say that I felt since I was young that something was seriously amiss with our canon or bible.  The experience of finding the Nag Hammadi texts (most notably Thomas, Philip and Mary) have helped to really clear some things up.  Jesus was himself a carrier, a channel for the divine, yes, but had been a man who had done the work in order to help his disciples to know it as well.  It was becoming more and more evident that he had even spent decades in India and came home, translating all of the language of awakening into his local language and ways and customs so that others could know.  Jesus was like any other person and attained a knowing or sense of the divine within himself.  While prophecies swirled around his life as “the one” I think that this was a convenient gift for the man but it also brought in all kinds of distortive elements for the simple reason that when you bring the divine and earthly power together, the divine has to be the one calling the shots or else everything becomes distorted. Put theologians in charge of the mystical and you wind up holding a corpse.

Kundalini, the two forces of yin and yang had “risen” within my body, carefully piercing each chakra as it rose, establishing a blinding path of energy along the way which altered me forever.

Christ instead became a king who stood above all others, a kind of inaccessible force or presence that you had to entreat for his forgiveness or to gain his grace through his sacrifice.  This was itself a story that made no sense to me.  If Jesus was awakened, he knew there was nothing that he, as a man, was going to lose.  There was no death for such a man.  So where did the concept of resurrection come from?  It came from Awakening which the gnostics all described as having been “as if dead one day and then alive the next.”  It was not a literal death and birth…it was a resurrection OF THE SPIRIT.  When we awaken, this is exactly what happens.  And it happens regardless of religious affiliation; Jew, Christian, Native American, Hindu, Taoist.  Somewhere someone inserted the idea of sacrifice into the story.  Jesus may well have been crucified, yes, but what he sacrificed was his old earthly self in favor of “putting on the better person [man]” which the Gnostic Jesus entreated his followers to do.  What was moving in me was a dual energy that brought incredible bliss and transformation.  Further, this was a force that was absolutely in love with its opposite end of itself, its compliment.  And even more than this, these two forces WERE NOT SEPARATE!  If this was not a mind bending notion at the time, I don’t know what was!  Kundalini, the two forces of yin and yang had “risen” within my body, carefully piercing each chakra as it rose, establishing a blinding path of energy along the way which altered me forever. My new condition would be about getting used to the new forces alive in me and adapting to this new world I found myself in.  I lived with an energy that was in love in my body.  This idea could get reflected outward as my feeling intense love also.   

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What I discovered was a LOT of information that hit the nail on the head where my own experience was concerned.  I had to pick and choose some, though, because like all ancient texts, these texts showed signs of having been revised by different people over long periods of time.  These were, after all, handwritten texts, and not everyone was able to just make a photocopy of the original, but sometimes added or took away. This is the same situation with the canonical texts, too, if you dig into the history of these books.  It was in these heretical books, though,this Nag Hammadi,  that I found the most direct and clear description of the experience of awakening, of the union with the two-part nature of the deity or God, and what happens during such a sacred and mystical union.  All of it is achieved by way of images. Know that these are just images and that they are merely there to describe an experience that stand behind the words.  Know what is behind the words and you shall inherit the universe.  I know that sounds grand….and it is….but in so doing, a great humility has always come over me that has shown me that now that I know, it is like knowing powerful things that now must be honored and respected. 

Remember when Einstein had that BRILLIANT realization that energy = matter?  Wow.  Now what did others seek to do with that knowledge?  they built bombs with it.  Horrible things that had the power to wipe life off the face of the planet if the wrong hairless apes got a hold of them.  For 40 years the world was literaly held hostage by forces who played with this knowledge now existing as bombs and fissile material.  It was just as possible that we could have done very different things with this knowledge.  Yes, energy and matter are the same.  What implications does this have for us here?  How can we use this for the good of all?  This is the kind of responsibility I am talking about.  It is the same responsibility I felt when I began to see energy fields.  Doing this meant I had another level of awareness that I could use for healing or it opposite.  So in seeking and finding, always choosing the good is very important.  If we do not choose the good, depending on how high the stakes are, we can stunt ourselves or we can literally loft ourselves over the moon.  Lofting ourselves collectively over the moon sounds a lot better to me.  It may not serve the agenda of a small cabal of people who want all the goods for themselves (which has been the human story all over and all across time), but it does, I sense, serve the unfolding of the creation in an wonderful and ecstatic fashion.  We can know this ecstatic vision.  It is here right now and we each need to simply grasp it and make it our own and allow its presence in us to temper and guide our choices in each moment:  how does my actions help to serve the good of all, the highest?  Okay….that was my soap box moment.  But it is important for us in this moment, NOW, to get what is facing us now right. 

So the Nag Hammadi….

Union with the Deity was described less as facing the deity but more a revealing effect wherein the person would feel the presence of the “Father” and the “Mother” within themselves.  This powerful effect was a mirroring.  This was a bridal chamber because of how blissful that it is.  It was not called a grand reunion, no, and it was called the bridal chamber for a very important reason.  It is because when we reach this place within ourselves, when we touch upon the divine within, it is the most incredible experience we could ever know.  And part of it is a feeling of having fallen deeply into love with someone, a deep and abiding sense of engagement.  Looking into ones own self, a mirrored world opened up, a place where one wanted to make onse self more beautiful for the Other.  For me, I was watching this passion play unfold as two forces on each side of my spine sought to enfold the other.  I felt like I had suddenly become a vessel for the cosmic forces of the heavenly and divine.  I often wondered about this accelerated form of consciousness…..and I wondered what it was thinking.  I knew how it was acting and behaving.  I KNEW how it felt in my body.  I knew that something had taken up residence within and even as I let go of those first uncomfortable stabs of worry over what this presence intended to do within me, I found that it was all bliss for the most part…..except for when I resisted….in which case it would become misery. I quickly learned that this force did not have a single bad thing in mind for me.  I was not being possessed in the normal sense, but I was entering into a channel that exists inside each of us for the divine to flow. 

divine-man-womanYou “rise” in the spirit and in the flesh, which is the very essence of the resurrection.

The Gnostics described it well.  Jesus asks his followers what they would do when upon entering the Bridal Chamber that they discover that they are two?   One walks into the bridal chamber but two walk out.  Most people who have not experienced this might not realize what he was getting at.   You “rise” in the spirit and in the flesh, which is the very essence of the resurrection. In fact, Philip explains that we must rise in the flesh or else when we die, we get nothing.  We are here seeking to learn, to attain something that he says will not happen in the next life.  Perhaps it wont happen in the next life simply because all life is one life, whether in flesh or not.  If you can’t do it here, how can you do it anywhere else or in any other body?  Further, he also described ego-death and the aspect of the miraculous ability to cause events to happen in perfect timing, something we call synchronicity today.  This was most certainly what the first Christians were talking about.  The further you get from the fount of the bubbling spring that Jesus flowed out to his followers, the harder it is to get the original sense of mystery wonder and awe of the experience.  So it was by the time that the Church was formed that the theologians and politicians could not see or understand what these deep mystical texts were saying.  It did not help that a lot of the texts had some really quite messed up thinking attached to them.  Yes, there were some really messed up thinking that was in the mix of many of what we call today as Gnostic texts.  When I say messed up thinking, I mean that the books have some material added in that is just….well….it is way off base, even when being interpreted in an allegorical way, which many of these texts need to be, even the Bridal Chamber, which is itself not a real chamber that is physical, but a deep and wonderful communion with the divine within ones own self. 

The language used to describe what happens to you when you awaken to this presence of the two within was not that different from what Hindu and Chinese mystics have described as the yin/yang or the Shakti and Shiva.  St. Theresa of Avilla describes her awakening as the cleansing of seven rooms within her being where she found communion with her spouse, God/Jesus and looked forward to the day when she could leave this earth so she could go be with her spouse in heaven.  And this was just how it was for me.  I was absorbed completely into this and it was absorbed into me.  Whatever that had existed before that served to be the boundary between knowing this so deeply and not feeling so deeply only moments before it “rose” in me, the effect was one of an essence of spirit that was in no way built on anything resembling the old life I had known where everything existed as individual objects, divided out, separate and alone.  In fact, all of life seemed to rise upward into my awareness like individual objects being suspended, supported, and fed by this endless ocean or web of living presence that my own consciousness had a habit of being able to seep so far down into that I would lose myself in visions of how it was made or composed.  It was not too unlike what it was like if you were to awaken as a cell in your own body and were given a tour of your body, which would no doubt look like a vast teeming realm, seemingly endless in scale or scope and fascinating and amazing for how wherever you looked, you “saw” (felt deeply) the presence of this ocean….this field….this web of life supporting everything quietly, non-judgmentally and lovingly. 

I had come to peace with the reality that my own sexuality would be used as a vessel for the divine.

In fact, I had to come to peace with the reality that my own sexuality would be used as a vessel for the divine.  All of my energy which flowed through me was now…..taken.  But hadn’t it been given?  When you touch such sweetness there is nothing you can do but to say yes.  Every single act of resistance is turned into compliance in such moments as those.  It is simply too powerful.  While we may each give ourselves to it or resist out of fear, in the end it seems that this is all a large-scaled event wherein it is not always easy to see the whole picture simply because the picture is endless.  Something in this consciousness does not divide itself because to do that would be to deny life to some part of itself.  I learned that the divine simply had no shame.  This is the work we have to do here, which is to realize that when this force takes us, it takes us innocently and completely.  It does not know half-way or less than all the way.  It does so totally because….to do any less would mean that the presence of the divine somehow does not feed all of its creation equally or evenly. There is simply no exception or division or limit.  And so the sensual character, the mental, the emotional, the sexual….ALL of it becomes a vessel for the divine to reside and know itself in you.And this is the marriage that takes place. 

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As these two forces rise in your body, what the Gnostics called the Mother and Father, they reach a deep embrace that is like sexual union that gives rise to the creation of a third, a child, what we call cosmic consiousness or the Christ.  It is a transcendent energy…..it is hardly just a person but a force, too.  It coheres the a sense of presence but also goes beyond our usual sense of what a personality might be as a deity or divine presence.  I would say that what we think of as the presence of ego is different.  This less identified ego allows the presence to flow in and out of things, out of you and me with great ease without feeling a sense of losing itself.  It is, I would say, a perfect form of ego where the presence still is itself but is able to flow through all things. 

But what I found was that if I could simply resist feeling shame over being found to have this junk in me and instead just opened deeply to this presence, it would cleanse me of this darker material and my own energy and experience would refine.

This experience has shown me that as I surrender to this presence within, I am letting “it” more deeply into my being, into my light body, which is where all sorts of old knots and blockages once existed and were cleared away.  But as this energy flowed in me, the effect that it had was to amplify all of my feelings.  Even the sexual ones, too. It was itself a process of union where I let it into the deepest and most intimate parts of myself knowing that I would be consumed with this great love and passion and even lust.  All of it would rise up within me as this presence came in.  It was like I was the moon being illuminated by the sun whenever it would come into my silence and meditations at night and in my day to day work and thoughts. So for a time I had to deal with all of the old baggage getting knocked about the interior of this bridal chamber, a lot of muck being kicked up for a time.  But what I found was that if I could simply resist feeling shame over being found to have this junk in me and instead just opened deeply to this presence, it would cleanse me of this darker material and my own energy and experience would refine.  Even as I tried with all my might to hold on to the old familiar ways of feeling as a human being….i would slowly lose my grip and learn, in degrees, that I COULD become a different person…..not difference in essence, but different in what motivated me, affected me, or moved me.

This presence would move into me and create such a storm of feeling within…..and it was often a feeling from something to something.  For a time I would feel the Presence sending me love until I learned to hold that love within myself.  When I could do that, somethign quite miraculous would happen; I would find myself wed even more deeply and more inexpicably into the msytery of this experience, which is to say I would experience a still deeper sense of union where the notion of the “other” would simply dissapear.  That, or it was so deep within me it did not matter whether I say one part of me is the me I have always known and the other part is this ancient yet forever new presence that is this “other.”  This is why it is so important for me to not seek to always understand it, but to allow it to unfold like a mystery because any effort at trying to make sense of it using my logical mind will trap me and keep me caught in something that was never intended to be used for knowing the mind of God. 

There is no greater love in the universe than this, so continually seeking to surrender to it opens it up within yourself.  Struggling with it or fighting it is fighting with what you are.  How can anything good be expected to come from that? 

God does not feel shame.  It is totality in all it does.  If it feels union, it is because it does so totally.  So when you feel God truly, it will be as though one is suddenly gripped in the presence or heart of something so amazingly vast yet also so incredibly personable and so ready to take over your entire body in order to worship and love and adore you that to resist is to invite psychosis.  There is no greater love in the universe than this, so continually seeking to surrender to it opens it up within yourself.  Struggling with it or fighting it is fighting with what you are.  How can anything good be expected to come from that? 

When I do this I find that I am like a mandala that, folded, continues to unfold around its outer edges, revealing a little more dimension each time.  Something inside of me that is at once me and the divine, unfolds.  I know that this is the mystery of creation….that as I touch the bliss of being in unity with the divine, I am made more….I unfold….I am more aware of more that is at once me and also the universe.  How can that be?  That is because the divine dwells within everything.  It literally looks out from within EVERYTHING.  It is silent and it waits until, through grace, each particle that it inhabits, begins to realize that the vibration that it has is purely divine and reaches it back to its creator. The Shri Yantra unfolds within me as larger and larger triangles of phenomena, like ripples on the surface of the water, spread outward.  As they spread outward, so too does my awareness expand along with it. I have become one with the divine.  I ride along with it just as surely as it has been riding within my cells waiting for the day when I awoke to the truth of my being. 

how-to-awaken-the-divine-feminine-within-you-twin-flame-twin-flame-confusion-twin-flame-relationships-twin-flame-reunion-twin-flame-separation-twin-flame-stages-twin-flames-twinThe Hopi, who describe a dividing of the way that would happen someday in the coming of the next world, where some people would take a high road and others a lower road, may be happening now.  And like all prophecy, nothing is written.

And now, it is your time to consider who and what you are.  This is a flame that is composed of both fire and water, of the totality of all opposites and all union that will move and purify your body mind and spirit.  This is the essence of what awakening has brought to me.  It is not for anyone who is not ready to take it on and allow the work to unfold.  To resist it is to know madness.  And even as I flow with it, I too have my moments of resistance, and resistance I don’t even know yet that I am resisting.  And yet, even as I know this, I also know that I have unfolded….and will continue to do so and that there is no force that is seeking to judge me, no force that is within my cosmic orbit.  

There is not a sense as though anything is wrong or bad, just a simple matter of cleaning this all up…because the world is FULL of faults and “bad” if you want to really get honest about it and those who point fingers the most are the ones who have been the worst transgressors most often.  Motes and beams, motes and beams…..what I saw in a vision as the purification of the earth that the many native tribes of north America have foretold would happen.  The Hopi, who describe a dividing of the way that would happen someday in the coming of the next world, where some people would take a high road and others a lower road, may be happening now.  And like all prophecy, nothing is written.  Do we take a drop along with us or do we swell that drop to an ocean?  there is not real timelines on any of this and I urge you to follow your passion, your wonder, your awe and live life as fully as you can no matter what that might mean.  Be you a computer tech, a designer, a teacher, or a builder or a service worker or Mommy who nurtures her children full time or a farmer…….all that seems to be asked of us is that we punch it all up a notch or two in order to expand our awareness of what we are beyond our more dim visions into a larger vision of what we are and what we can be.

You are two-in-one, the divine awareness that is love and does love itself.

We have lived under the canopy of separation consciousness for a long time.  That is now changing as we reach into a state within ourselves, individually, where we can touch and know and feel the totality.  You are two-in-one, the divine awareness that is love and does love itself. We can sense the sacredness of the experience and be informed and changed by it. No matter who we are or what we are doing…..for the simple fact that the divine is everywhere…..it is in the atoms of the tire that the mechanic is changing in his shop, and it is moving in currents beyond the stars and is a force holding everything her together as a cohesive unit.  No matter who or what you are…..it will meet you perfectly because it is without any thought of limitation or judgement.  Truly.  If you would get to know this force you will learn that each and every act of judgement was you.  It is already awake and aware and is patiently waiting, silently and softly for each of us to come to our senses. 

And so this is a little of what I experience.  It is a deep and difficult depth to explain or plumb.  IN the end, there are no words.  In the end, it is simply what it is and I often tire of telling of it because it takes me away from my direct experience.  And while, yes, I seek bliss with the divine, I do so knowing that in each moment, that bliss heals me so I make no excuses for feeling it and letting it into my life.  It has set so much right and is setting more that still remains to be right.  I hope that you may find such fulfillment and love and wonder. 

We don’t need to make excuses for ourselves…..nor for what we suspect or feel is the right thing for us.  You don’t need to make excuses for why  you march to a different drummer or why your karma is one color while your best friend is another. It’s okay to wear what makes you happy and others not so happy.  It is their issue, not yours. 

 

Be yourself.  This is what I am actually telling myself.  Over and over for all of the times I shrank back into myself afraid of how someone would actually react or feel or say or be in the wake of me gloriously free within myself.  I am here to clean up this shite!  Old stories, old hurts, old loves, old knowing, old mysteries…..all of them, a virtual horde of mysteries from other times that my soul now says ENOUGH!  Let us now get this stuff straight!  No more bullshit.  What if the things that seem are my weakness is what will make me the strongest? What if someone being so different is what makes them fabulous? I think about growing up with closeted gays in high school…..closeted out of FEAR of being bullied, or worse, maimed or even killed.  I think about the lynch mobs….all because people are different….blacks growing up angry because of how they and their families have been treated by ever sector of the world….things are turning around some…I see it…I was walking to the tech center today between classes and thinking about how my male students are no longer afraid to be openly gay.  I say “Hooray!!!”  It makes me so happy my heart weeps.  That we have reached a place where people feel safer then they have in a very long time to just BE themselves.  What if BEING who you are has a sacred DIVINE purpose?

That is because it does. 

So some do not understand nor relate to mine.  They don’t have to.  It really isn’t their job to.  It is mine. The lifetimes of junk ends in this life….this I am clear.  So I am sorry, I can’t go to your party or be a part of your golf game or polo team.  I have stuff that is mine to work through. Selfish?  You better believe it!  Maybe for the first time in a while I do for me what me needs most.  Lonely?  It is.  But I think my soul knew that.  We are such social creatures….we really are.  And when we awaken, the thing invisible lines of connection become so much more apparent, don’t they?  The world resolves into this amazing thing turning in our heart and in the soul of the world….

 The last dragon is being slain….transformed….turned…healed….I cannot say what will result..I have remained as open as a window because I want this done as quickly as possible. The Cleansing!

Don’t make excuses for you. Love yourself.  Cherish yourself. You have all the time in the world.  People who are no longer available, well, were they really EVER available?  The only person who can truly go the distance with you is you so being on good terms with that you is pretty big.  Are you happy?  Are you at peace? Are you learning what the universe is throwing your way? Would you like to swim more and talk less, hum more and read some books?  Would you like to pick up a new hobby or read about bonobo’s in the wild or how it is that there are more neurons in your stomach than in the brain of a cat?  There is so much to know and experience for no other reason than to have been here now in this time and place, which is itself utterly unique. 

Like you. 

Enjoy the ride!

I believe that we each have an inner compass.  We may not always listen.  We may not always be able to hear the whole message all at once.  But I am firmly convinced that as we apply ourselves to “it” (whatever the “it” is) we will get it.  I believe this because of my experience which has shown me that even though the vast majority of the world does not know this or believes its crazy, my expeirence has shown me that there is actually a world of information available to each of us. 

Cayce called it Akasha.  I believe it is information encoded in light…in energy…..and it is literally everywhere.  It is surprisingly like the internet….information encoded into the cells of the universe.  All of it.  Down into the atoms.  Everywhere and everywhen.  It might sound crazy to you, but I know this is correct.  I know that when I uncover things there is NO WAY I could have known, I am tapping this vibrant field.  Perhaps this is what the Taoists and Hindus call the Buddha field.  I think it is all the same…..this living thing that is so much bigger than just you and me.

I have been a seeker for a very long time.  Since age nine.  All through it, I always felt like there was some answer I’d find inside of me.  I would seek outwardly, yes, but for hints at how others managed to get to this “inside” stuff.  I used discernment…..and I sought.  I didn’t buy into anything unless it made perfect sense to me and passed the test.  For me, I developed a form of meditation that I thought of as active meditation.  It was meditation that was oriented towards using energy to help assist in accelerating consciousness.  for me, sitting passively felt like…..well….not for me.

What I have come to realize is that the type of meditation that I practice is restorative in nature.  It is intended to heal. it is intended to boost energy, which boosts consciousness and accelerates consciousness (which is what all boosts in the energy of consciousness always does).  This is itself a form of restoration, a returning the self to a state of origin.  The effort is not in seeking to cope or mask something, but to dig down into the root cause to deal with whatever the challenge is, knowing that while we may not have the answer in front of us, we each have the capacity to find a way to heal it if we simply avail ourselves of 1) the idea that we CAN heal it and 2) allowing this new energy into our lives by allowing ourselves to be pliant enough to allow the change to take hold. 

This is a process that is not about managing your meditation. It is about allowing a larger force to do its work within you.  This is enough to freak some people out.  it did me the first six months while I was practicing this.  I was, if nothing else, pretty controlled in how I went about things. And maybe I had reason to be concerned about who I put myself into the hands of.  But either you trust the universe or you don’t.  And at the end of the day what I have found is that in each and every situation I was putting myself into my OWN hands.  What?  Yes:  I have put myself into the very agency that could help me best—my higher self.  For some it might seem like a voice from heaven or some other world.  This higher self is god-like or goddess like only because it does not live within time.  It is all time.  Once you get used to this idea, it gets easier to relate to the universe as it is. You are in your own hands.  And nothing can hurt you except that which you cannot let go of or that you willingly invite into your life.  It can be hard to clear your life while also bringing in all the garbage….and yet, it happens….we are redeemed by a process so amazing.

This redemption is a process that is about a focus and attitude more than anything.  All methods flow from this intent.  When you ask for resolution, life will bring it to you.  If you allow the universe to do this, then it will.  I know; that sounds like magic.  And you would be right.  And yet, this magic lives in my life.  People observe it and I smile and wink because its usually my daughter who is observing it.  Its not showy, its always just as its needed.  You can move mountains. All you need to do is to change a few core beliefs.  It means being like a child.  If you can do that, I promise it is possible to bring great change into your life. 

You can release the effect of countless energetic entities that surround nearly every single person on the planet.  Think of it as a kind of parasitic load like how animals have parasites weighing them down.  I once removed these beings from someone I knew and after that I realized that this was really OUR job to realize how they got there and how the continually get brought back into the harbor of our souls.  Releasing them is about knowing they are there.  Awareness, friends, is huge.  it is, in fact, the way back to the garden.  And can you imagine how  your body changes when these beings are gone?  The subtle changes in your endorphins, adrenal output, oxytocin (both hormone AND neurotransmitter!), cortisol, and perhaps even histamine levels.  I know that my own physiology changed dramatically.  What if we are each suffering under a physical and psychic toxic load to our systems?  As our body responds to a lot of physical inputs, it also responds to energetic inputs because the presence of prana has an effect, a stimulating one, on the body.  The effect is enough to be noticed by so many who observe those who have awakened.  We age slower.  In my family, I am the only one who has a head of dark hair.  Based on how all of my siblings are aging, it looks as though my age has been delayed by about seven to ten years at least. But there are other measurements. 

It is time to stop just coping and dealing with the toxic load of our emotions which go to depressing immune systems, affecting glandular processes that aid in governing healing. 

Most critical is quiet time to allow the self to return to its square-one state.  You don’t need to simply sit in silence.  That is actually quite boring. And beside the point.  You sit quietly and soak up how you FEEL.  It isn’t tuning out but tuning IN.  Instead of focusing outward so much, keep tuning inward.  LOOK inside instead of always being aware of what is in your senses.  Look to your essential self as the means of seeing.  You actually have a sensory organ that is your energy field that can see and hear and experinece ALL the senses that are built into your physical being.  Your physical being is your soul in flesh, and what you experience in your body is what you natively experience in your energy body when you are not focused in a body here on the planet….so your senses are native to you….and you have inner senses.  Just tune them in.  You will be amazed at what you get!  Turn the light of your awareness inward and don’t just tune everything out but tune it in.  Listen!

As you do this, feel how your energy changes.  Feel how it becomes blissful, or how you feel as though you are floating or moving.  All good things!  Just sit with it.  When this happens you want to allow your energy to accumulate in this way.  You are building capacity.  Let this continue to happen.  As you do this, the energy itself will trigger just what you are ready for.  Nothing less and nothing more.  This works on your own inner compass.  In the background, higher self is there.  The result is that you begin to heal the effects of lifetimes of trouble NOW. 

See your awareness as the channel through which your higher self sees what is happening in your body here and now.  Allow it to look out through you and help you. If you ask for answers, they will come.  They might come in dreams, they might come as a clear thought, a sign, or through a friend the next day.  If you are ready, the universe will assist and this can happen very quickly.  I have had these kinds of things come ’round within hours, but most often a 24 hour period is not unusual.  Kate Bush once sang, “Just saying it could make it happen.”  Indeed this is true!

This path is one of restoration.  Instead of merely coping with pharmaceuticals and methods not designed to really solve any problems, we remain caught in this weird place that is not about healing at all. It is good for pharmaceutical companies only, but not good for healing.  After all, how many medicines actually SOLVE a disease or condition so that you only need to take it for a few days and never again?  We have a few of these, but not many.  Imagine taking anti-anxiety meds for decades.  I know a woman who has been doing this for decades……and I wonder….has anyone actually suggested that she just get honest and deal with the fear she has inside of her?  How much money are the therapists making off her?  Has anyone offered this as an option?  Did she maybe shoot them down each time?  I don’t know how long I could actually council a patient who was not really interested in healing themselves.  I think I would have to refuse to be their therapist!  Maybe that is harsh sounding….maybe….

But it is time that we begin to do medicine where we seek solutions….and this means our inner medicine of spirit, too!  You can roll back lifetimes of junk NOW.

Wouldn’t that be great?  All you really have to do is say you are ready. 

So many admonishments made by old wise guys from centuries past telling us to eschew pleasure, ego, control, focus, desire…..

 

It isn’t the material that is the problem.  It is how the material can enslave us….how it can master us because we are ourselves unable to utilize the CREATION in a way that is positive.  Look at your life.  Are you creating separation or unity in your life?  In your work, do you knit people together or do you wind up penalizing and punishing people?  Look at it honestly.  Is your life running you or are you running your life from this one moment? 

Many who awaken wind up with a sense of grandeur at some point.  There is this belief they have a mission to save the world.  And in a sense, this is true….but the weight of the All is bearing into us in moments like this.  The experience of nonduality in awakening means that an experience with, say, making soup for lunch connects you to every bowl of soup every enjoyed….really.  You feel a grain of sand in your sandal and suddenly you feel the whole of the deserts rushing through your soft grasp…..this is HOW it is.  But the grandiose is there because….well….because of the sheer scope of it all.  Now connected into this vastness, you FEEL vast because you are by connection and definition.  No worries….but keep it in perspective.  We are all one.  We inherit so much in this.  For as hard as it can sometimes be, it can be the path to true liberation.  The “path” takes many turns.  For as alone as this has made me feel, I know now that I came here for this….to clean it up on my terms, to do it as my soul has sought to do it even if no one understands or can relate.  It will lead to something remarkable when you can surrender to your own truth.  Not doing so creates conflict and problems invariably.  Live your truth even if it means that others do not understand.  This is a giant leap off into the deep blue.  How could it be understandable by anyone who has not themselves awakened?  And yet, in being awake, does anyone really need to relate except to respect your path, perhaps?

This means a ripple of an wave can move through me and move through the entire Collective of humans on the planet.  I can sit and sing and ask the infinite to potentiate the vibrations of that song and it does….a steady gentle Ohm Padme….and then some other sounds meant to shake out the harder stuff from the Collective.  Have you ever tried this?  It is almost as though some larger part of you exists just beyond reach….you send it up like a prayer….a purposeful prayer and thread your awareness into it like one thread in this much larger tapestry that is this higher self. 

So its not grandiose to say we can change the world through intention.  For those who think this is all about sitting on the couch, you will miss the point that monks have been doing this for thousands of years.  A few years ago while in meditation one of my guides came and sat down next to me.  I was having a really hard time with some stuff and he said “All you have to do is step out of the old and into the new….it is hard for you to see how easy this can be…but the template has been prepared over centuries by the prayers of countless pilgrims and monks and aspirants from every religion imaginable….the blueprint has already been made.  Now step into it.”

So I will pray that this ripple through me spreads out into every silent night and between the cracks of each moment in a grandiose way.  I pray each day for the Christ, the Cosmic to become manifest.  It is why I am here.  Isn’t it why you are here?

Go to the root. Go to the foundation. Reach down to the place before all voices begin, before blood is born, before bone is formed. Look to the first causes, trace the line of phenomenon deeper and deeper and FEEL until you reach the place of First Cause. First Cause may be the birth of a cell, a world, of you, of a thought or feeling or belief or event. All things created have a first cause and all echo in their spirit their essence the same Is-ness that echoes through all of creation….be it rock or badger banana or jellyfish or celestial space dust spinning outward/inward. Find the first cause in all things……each moment born from a previous moment, shaped and formed by the bodies and people and animals and breezes and limitless phenomenon bearing upon it. A wonder-world seeking to be fulfilled. Naturally. Powerfully.

So in seeking, seek the essential. Seek the foundation. For here is what IS, not what you reflect as being. Seek to know the truth, not to bend the truth to your ends. Do not do not do not the angels cry and sing and murmur as they lay by your bedsides at night and as you feel the rush of wind and water in your lives as time seems to speed past you, as the architecture of your life seems to be used up more and more each day even as voices laugh in the silence of your forgetting, remembered in dreams that all of that is illusory. “Seek the foundation.”

Know what IS. Lose all investment in what you believe is right or wrong. So many people have destroyed others over what they thought was right or wrong. I have been destroyed by people who thought they were speaking truth when they were steeped in illusion. I have born their madness as a great lesson to myself to always seek to get it right because we are all effected by our illusions that skew our seeing and perception. Seek to know the truth. Seek to know the foundation, the essence. If you do this, you will know the all of a thing. You wont have to guess. And in being with it as it is, your natural acceptance will bring a joy and satisfaction so simple and so wonderful. Uncomplicated, it will keep your life simple and grand all at once. Such is the joy-filled life.

And once you reach that place….resist judging it. Be it a person or event or mountain or……

We hunger to know the experience of being so one with another that we feel what they feel. This idea, this desire to be so close to another is one that is deeply embedded in our makeup. This idea there is that “one” out there that we are destined for…..

Whilst dreaming and hoping for Mr. Cosmically Right and Ms. Cosmically Right, we lose something important in the mix. When we follow a belief, we follow dogma. In so doing, we diminish ourselves often unknowingly, setting clever snares for us which we will have to undo. It wont matter much by the time we realize what happened, but it can leave many running in circles thinking they have found the holy grail of spirituality. In a way we have done that. We have this cup that runneth over and it is in us, in each of us. To find it in another might be the snare I was mentioning. I wish I could tell you what everyone else is telling you about the forever of all of this but the truth is, we have all loved many times and we will love many times more. You have lived more lives than you can count. You have loved so many children, so many brothers and sisters, all who have turned to dust thousands of times over and will do the same procession from flesh to dust for many more lifetimes after this one where you are reading this.

So yes, the twin experience explodes just about everything you could hope to know about how things are supposed to go. Yes, you feel them from the inside out. they can be on the other side of the planet. Bound, connected, two complimentary pairs merge into an engine of creation. The thing is, the painting is only as good as the effort used to create it. I ask; what are you creating? Are you falling into bliss or are you allowing bliss to shift and melt you, to heal you, to undo you, to bring you back to zero, what the Zen masters all describe as that place where we return to the primordial condition. For me, kundalini awakened. It began to undo me and as it undid me, it also served to build a stronger field of energy that seemed to bring just what was necessary for the moment to serve in life and in fulfillment and in undoing and healing. For as little as some might be able to see it or to know it, it exists….for each of us.

It is time to return to zero. The twin experience is something that points to our potential in a world that is waking up. We are exploding the illusion of space. We are exploding the illusion of separation, of singularity. We are more than we seem. Let this be what leads you forward because to think there was and is and will only ever be One love will keep you from knowing love in its fullest. You will be somehow waiting and robbing who you are with now of the love that they could surely know. Life asks little else of us except to give to it our all.

So do so. Let mystery be mystery, but let it guide you and do not be so quick to make up your mind. It points to our capacity to see beyond here and now. It points to our being something more. I ask you, what is this something more? There are lots of stories about the twin soul….but what I know is that the truth is far more mysterious and wondrous than anything we could imagine. We are here to love and to learn how to BE love.

Be it!

You never were young or old in your soul.  There are no young souls nor old souls.  The idea that time exists is like a snake curled up within itself, a line or progression that is itself an illusion.  It is not an illusion that we are born live and grow old and die.  But this life we live exists like an echo that does not fade from the fabric of all that is.  One part reads the story and another lives it.  One part moves on and one abides forever.  This is the great secret upon my lips tonight……So you already are old and young and all places in between.  Let it be that you are all of this….for in so being, you will better touch it and know the boundlessness that you are.  We all have known slave and king, bound and free, owner and owned, lover and hater, blind and illuminated.  We have been and shall be what our souls call us to be.  It calls us to become and to know and to become again and again until like worn out books, we are made over. Open your mind and heart and you can actually feel it.  The lie is what blinds each of us to what we are.  You are more than this….

You are not an old soul, nor are you a young soul. You are this soul.  Glory in that whatever it might mean for you for surely there is a purpose in all of that….

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