It was one of the hardest parts of my awakening experience. All of a sudden, awakening turned a corner and went into high gear. As if it wasn’t high enough! With it came a sudden influx of….adrenaline. But this was no ordinary adrenaline rush. Oh no. This was a constant flow of adrenaline as if some unknown button had gotten stuck in the on position. To say it was excruciating was a mild way to put it. I had days where I could not escape the rush that went on for days, weeks, months. It was awful, and I was very worried that if I didn’t do something about it, it could do some permanent damage. I would sit in the most comfortable chair I had where I could relax the most without falling asleep and try to get control over this crazy thing that was happening inside of me. Tears streamed down my face. I wanted to leave, exit, be done. It was no fun. I felt driven by this constant drumming of this chemical soup in my body. I wanted to leap out of my skin. Please let it be over, I thought.
I did a lot of physical exercise which did help some. This, though, was only temporary. As soon as I got off my bicycle or stopped my vigorous walk/run, it would all be back, pounding out its painful rhythm again. You see, it is entirely possible to wind up in a state of adrenal failure some call adrenal burn-out. A family friend who went through kundalini a few years ago described her harrowing experience with it and how she was able to break the spiral down into who knows what. For her, she simply surrendered. In the middle of the night, unable to take it anymore, she just asked the universe what it was she needed to do. And then it came….a deep sense of release and calm began to settle all around her. She had gotten out of the briar patch. She also had adrenal collapse or burn-out and had to take adrenal gland treatments to get it functioning properly again. Word to the wise. Don’t let this go on for too long. And if it does, be ready to talk to a doctor or other practicioner like a naturpath.
For me, I wish it had been so simple. However, my experience showed me how to balance on a very specific wave of awareness that involved tuning my body chemistry in just the right way. I don’t know if anyone going through this will relate, I can only say what it was I observed, which was that I was hyper aware of every little thing going on inside of me. I could feel each drop of adrenaline being released. I mean, I really mean, I could feel it. It was located near my kidneys. At first, I didn’t know what it was, but with a quick anatomy lesson, located the adrenals right over top the kidneys. I could then feel the drops of adrenaline, for they were now like drops instead of the steady flow they were in the months past, and could trace each one upward as it moved into my heart muscle and affected it. I could FEEL this. It was not imaginary. I learned, over hours and days and weeks, how to identify it because it was so persistent and strong. When you see enough of something like this, you learn a lot about it. So I tuned in, and I found that over time, the bliss response is actually a complex cocktail of different body chemicals.
I first identified something that served to bond me to things and people. I didn’t know what it was, but it was real. This chemical was stronger than many others. This was what I call the first step into bliss. This can also be accompanied by sexual feelings, or a leaning into bliss. But I was not fully there. As I slowly learned, there were other feelings that were matched in physiology, and there were two that were obvious to me. Once all of these different compounds were surrogate through my feelings, they were matched in my body through its chemistry. See? Feeling does it. But you have to WANT it so bad, you will do anything for it….and this is strong enough to counter what adrenaline is doing in your body. Again, this was what I did. Later, I did some research to see if there was anything out there to match what it was I was feeling with the first compound. I found the compound; oxytocin. This is the bonding hormone. It goes up when women are pregnant, specifically their last trimester and continues through until after the birth. It is present in both men and women and it is what makes us feel the rush of being head over heels in love with someone. Oxytocin is interesting because it is also a neurotransmitter! Wowza, huh? Yes, so it is not just important to how we feel, it is involved in transmitting important signals in the brain. Love signals perchance? I think it is most certainly likely. Then along cam what I suspect was either dopamine or endorphins. I am less sure about these, but I know they were involved. I learned this balance by hook and crook over a period of some months. Once I got the first step, the other steps became much more rapid and the process began to fall together much easier with each step taken.
It was like listening to a chorus in my body. I would FEEL the bonding hormone. Just FEEL it. Then something else was needed to balance that and broaden it, too. THAT would then be felt. Another voice was joined and suddenly I would find I was atop this wave. I felt BETTER! And I will tell you, it was not easy STAYING on that wave. I fell off LOTS> But I would get back up and get back on and each time, I got better at it. this simply goes on and on until I can return to it with less and less effort. The truth I will tell you, in MY experience, was that none of this actually countered adrenaline. Nope! This is what is so amazing to me. Adrenaline was like….my enemy for a while. this giant gorilla of a thing ready to clobber me….and did. Many times! I have the bruises and a couple of T-shirts. I am happy to give you one of them if you want. I joke, but what is no joke is that once all of the compounds were balanced, adrenaline was an important part of the overall chemical chorus in my body. Yep! adrenaline was STILL there, but it was now no longer the ONLY juice running my body! Now, all of the chemistry was tuned to this new condition I found myself. Pretty wild. Adrenaline helps to create bliss…..but it has to be in the right proportion.
We associate adrenaline with fear. We can, however begin to associate very different things with it if we just let ourselves. For me, adrenaline now has a different role to play. This is alchemy, my friends, pure and simple. What once was horrible, turned golden. Kundalini makes it so that you can see all of this under a microscope. So use that microscope to your own best advantage! Let what might have blown everything out of proportion be the force that now gives you an up-close view of your physiology! Brilliant!
Just settle in and relax as best as you can and then think of something that would make you feel really good. In fact, I often found I didn’t have to think of anything from memory, I just KNEW how to feel different. But why hadn’t I felt different before? My sense is that we have latent fear in us that is being swirled around, is getting ready to flee our bodies, but before it does so, it gets mixed up, kind of like silt in a river clouds the river for a while. the body is simply responding to a somewhat over-blown effect that is now working overtime. the other side to all of this is adrenaline kind of forces you to learn how to be…..different. Can you do it by just surrendering? I suspect you can. Maybe that way is the simplest and best. For me, I am curious about how everything works. I am the kid who took things apart. That is how I am . Curious. For you, who knows? But the bottom line is to go with what you feel is right. And who knows, you might find that you do something completely different. You know, if you ask, it will come to you. In one way or another, through dream, direct cognition, a voice in your head or heart, or someone dropping off an article without ever knowing what you are going through, it will come.
Okay, just felt the need to put this all down for the just in case column. I hope it helps someone out there!
UPDATE 3/17/2014: I was watching a presentation being made by a man who has done research into brain function and he explains something that I have experienced quite clearly and offer it here for your consideration as it relates to getting a grip on your body/mind and brain connection. He explains that there are substances called neuro-peptides that are compounds that turn thought/feeling into a physical representation of that energetic quotient in consciousness into a very real physical response in the brain/body. For every thought you have, there is a specific orchestration and tuning of neuro-peptides in the brain in order to create a unique and very specific representation of that feeling (which I am assuming is consciousness/energy and thus not entirely physical in the way we normally think of it…although it iS energy) in the body. This then gives each feeling, thought, and emotion, its own fingerprint. Imagine the body taking what it is your consciousness decides to feel and making a chemical representation of that feeling in the body. Imagine the brain as like a kitchen and it is getting signals on the nanosecond-scale….trillions of these signals from all parts of you, including your own consciousness (not merely feeling physical sensation only through the nerve endings), and in this kitchen, the brain is putting together unique recipes, like a short order cook, but each order that comes in is itself highly unique, custom-made even. One recipe asks for no salt, but extra mayo, or some barley, and in another the veggies should be steamed, not stir-fried. There is an amazing level of detail involved in all of this and the brain is engaged in helping to create a physical representation of what it is you are feeling. One the one side, the brain does take in sensations from the gross body, but there is another level where the feeling parts of the self feed into all of this also. Its amazing, but it also points to how you yourself can choose, were you to want to, to shift and change the character of your feelings so that your body will output a different result, a different message. I experienced this deep and detailed level of signal processing in awakening and I know that if I can become aware of it, it is in all of us to be do. What I experienced was merely a larger flow of conscious energy in my awareness, which I think aided in being able to detect these seemingly miniscule changes taking place in my mind/brain/body/consciousness. In the case of adrenaline, something was happening to keep adrenaline pouring in as if I had no control. This was itself the result of kundalini serving to highlight ever little thing happening in my body, a good thing on one side, but a bad thing when I still had latent fear/trauma in my conscious energy field. The body was merely doing what it had always done, which was to generate the signals to release the chemistry that my consciousness was sending to it. When I learned how to feel different, my body began, immediately, to respond to those new signals, those new feelings.
At a site managed by the National Institute of Health it described neuropeptides this way:
“The discovery of neuropeptides is founded on groundbreaking research in physiology, endocrinology, and biochemistry during the last century and has been built on three seminal notions: (1) peptide hormones are chemical signals in the endocrine system; (2) neurosecretion of peptides is a general principle in the nervous system; and (3) the nervous system is responsive to peptide signals. These historical lines have contributed to how neuropeptides can be defined today: “Neuropeptides are small proteinaceous substances produced and released by neurons through the regulated secretory route and acting on neural substrates.” Thus, neuropeptides are the most diverse class of signaling molecules in the brain engaged in many physiological functions.”
Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21922398
Now that is a more generic description, but since neuropeptides have only recently been discovered (last 40 years) what is the more current understanding of these compounds in the body?
Larry Young, in his video on neuropeptides explains:
“So the brain has multiple different kinds of chemical communicators or transmitters; one of those is neuropeptides. A neuropeptides is a chain of amino acids that is released either into the blood where it activates receptors in our body, or directly into the brain where it can activate receptors in our brain. When a neuropeptide is released it binds to the receptor and that activates a series of events inside the cell, inside the neuron, and then that causes that neuron to become active. If that neuron is placed within a particular circuit, it can activate that circuit. So now you can begin to see how you can have a single molecule released from one neuron activating another neuron, and then activating a circuit and then a circuit can change an emotion and a behavior.”
Source: http://www.dnalc.org/view/2388-Neuropeptides-can-Change-Emotions-.html
Based on how Young is describing it, you can begin to see how if a neuron is itself activating a circuit in the electrical/neurological system connected to the brain, this is essentially also what the energy of consciousness is doing. This is what I have observed. I am not a researcher, and do not wish to be, I am offering you my insight and you can take it or leave it. But I do and have experienced energy as made up of a series of switches, which are actually activated by feeling that will themselves serve to allow the flow of universal energy into consciousness. the body, in this description is doing the same thing. This description is one I made as a result of my own experience in earlier blog entries. We tend to think of energy as nonphysical, but I experience it as another state of matter, which of course it is. As we know in physics, all matter is composed of energy! Within our own consciousness lies a switching mechanism that is actually composed of our own thoughts. We let in certain things and exclude others. We do this selectively and based on what we believe is important. We do this in regards to day to day experience and we also do it down to the micro-level, and the body responds perfectly by putting out the chemistry that those feelings and thoughts represent. Getting a grip on what is within you, your beliefs and biases, etc., is THE way to shift your body and brain chemistry for the better. This is itself a form of freedom. And really, the great things is the body is this amazing tool, and like a computer, we do not have to get down into the source code, down to the actual calculations being made each fraction of a second in order to appreciate and experience the changes as they happen. But it may be that if you understand that this is not something that you are a slave to, but CAN change, then knowing how your choice to feel differently can actually begin to dismantling an older means of being and feeling that did not serve you as well as a less cluttered and more direct way of feeling and knowing. ~P.
Waking The Infinite 
as an enlightened man, i invite you to read my blog
Thank-you for the invite!
Dear Parker my name is Jenny but, despite my name, I am italian (then sorry for my english). I don’t know how to thank you, you have saved my life. I really was in constant pain due to kundalini awakening occurred two months ago after a strong practice of yoga. I was suffering continuos rushes of adrenaline and consequent anxiety attacks and burning pain in my spine. I was so scared and tired that I decided to take antidepressants ssri, but they made me feel even worse and I immediately stopped them. It was awful and I used to cry all the time to have my life back. So when I found your experience here, I tried to do it without many expectations and a miracle did happen. I had the first rush of adrenaline in the afternoon but instead of panicking , as always I did, I “observed” the sensation and instinctively trasformed it in an impulse like an interior blissful void. Then I had another two or three rushes after a few minutes with a great effort to stay calm. Eventually I had no tension anymore and felt derealization for about two hours. Therefore I think that this process led to achieve this purpose: lifting the veil of Illusion (Maya). For the fist time after two months I have a hope to live again thanks to you. God bless you! Om
I am very glad you were able to navigate this difficult stretch of road with the grace you found within….how perfect. Thank you for your feedback, too. Its wonderful to learn of success stories!
I suspect adrenaline in awakening is due to suppressed fear now being activated by our growing awareness….exaggerating it mostly but helping us to see it….a mixed blessing. You, though, were able to purify inwardly…..healing something in your self. Bravo, Jenny!
Thank you 🙂
Yes, I realized I have repressed fear, above all a sort of hypochondria. Kundalini amplifies every obsession, compels you to watch inside. It’s very challenging but also healing. Ciao amico!
Could you give us a 2020 update ? Very helpful article, I’m just now going through this exact same thing.. your article was a breath of hope. Thank you.
Hi Luvena.
For me, the storm has passed. It passed when I got myself out of that place of fear, and doing this was achieved through a number of small and larger movements within myself to get there.
Looking back, what made the difference for me was a fundamental willingness to let go, to surrender so deeply, that the fear also dropped within me.
Bliss has a lot to teach us about this, but the crazy thing I found was that I was experiencing both bliss and fear chemistry side by side for quite some time! Now that was crazy, yes, but after a couple of years, I was able to shake off the fear a great deal, at least the parts that were driving the really hard parts of my own adrenal response (cortisol and norepinephrine are also part of this spectrum of “fear” compounds).
What I can tell you is that trying to dig up the fear, identifying it and then working with it wont work. It is much easier to say “I can’t control this fear, I have no way to deal with it, I will just let go and trust the universe!” Or something like that. Or, you BEGIN doing something like that that gets you to a place of such deep surrender that you just let go of it without ever really knowing what that monster in you was, what was causing the fear. Who knows, right? Someone earlier in a comment mentioned fear of getting sick. Maybe you know what most scares you…I think I knew a range of things that were causing me fear. Thing is, they were probably very valid fears. I was scared to death that my wife was going to demonize me and alienate me from my kids. That was my greatest fear. I allowed it to animate me and drive me. Yes, she DID alienate my kids. I was probably even picking this all up psychically from that really terrible environment I was in at the time. Yuck! But what I learned was that there are things I just cannot control, you know? People are going to do stuff, really mean cruel things, even people who maybe we have known for years. Maybe a disease is going to kill you one day, who knows, right? But the thing is, will you be able to control that? We tell ourselves that yes, maybe we can. And some degree of control will help us. Certainly in the midst of this covid-19 thing there are things we can do to help reduce the spread of this virus germ. There are stupid things and there are wise things we can do. I wasn’t going to be able to affect how my then-wife was going to act. I had no control. She tried to destroy me anyway.
But wasn’t that on her? And if I lost a child to her propaganda, isn’t that on the child and wont that child have to come to see the light? I could not change that child’s mind, that child was brainwashed. Hard, but that was just how it was. I had to learn to accept that. I hated it. It so corrupted my instincts as a parent, to want to help, to aid, to nurture. No, I was persona non grata.
When I let go of that….and to be truthful, I was terrible at it, I began to feel relief. I did it early before my ex and I split in our divorce. I was able to calm the tempest by simply learning or feeling within myself that there are some things I just cannot control. Stop trying to control it, and stop being concerned about an outcome you wont be able to sway. I was out of control to be honest. I just didn’t know WHAT was going to happen.
It was not knowing WHAT was going to happen that drove all of this. Before it was all over, I felt like I had been torn apart in a manner of speaking. I found that my root had been messed up good. I remember driving over the mountains to get to my studio and seeing a car wreck and then feeling a rush of sexual bliss flow through me, which upset me. Why was I feeling this sexual energy in the midst of someone being possibly hurt? It seemed nuts to me.
But it wasn’t nuts. I had this kundalini, this prana, this creative energy flowing through me, the force of God-dess and the divine and yet I was still an imperfect vessel. My root chakra, which was all about my creative foundation of survival and wellbeing physically, was itself unhealed, so when I felt the incredible flow of prana through the condition of kundalini, I also felt sexual energy because sexual energy is creative energy and the root is our most basic fundamental creative force. I always felt this way when things felt the most uncertain to me. So the wound in me was uncertainty, wasn’t it? That was like a giant red flag saying, “Over here, look at this bit of f-ery still inside of you!”
I learned to slowly support feelings of certainty over uncertainty. In some cases, I faked it. It was interesting, because even when I was faking it, certain fakes actually made me FEEL different. It led me to find an article by someone who described the same thing. I have now since forgotten who the woman was who wrote the book or article on this, so my apologies to her, but she noticed in school that if she adopted certain physical postures, her fear or terror would go away some. It allowed her to cope in an environment that was very intimidating to her. She described her pose as the “Wonderwoman pose.” Hands on hips, in fists, standing extra straight and faking the heck out it!
It worked. The body was fooled into responding to body postures that communicated back to the brain that everything was okay, and since the signal was being sent that everything was okay, everything was okay, resulting in the body not producing so much stress hormones.
What helped me also was to get out of the environment that was causing the problem to begin with. If that is at all possible, I recommend doing that. Barring that, you have to really learn how to feel into your fear and then make a choice every single moment not to respond to that fear. In the beginning it can really take a lot of effort. In fact, it can seem almost impossible to achieve, but I will tell you that I was able to achieve only momentary suspensions of my adrenal response in the very beginning. Imagine only being able to hold your breath except for a few seconds at first. Then, after a week, you find you have increased that time to five seconds. Improvement! But it really isn’t enough! “Will I ever get to the promised land with this approach?” you wonder, and you continue not giving up and a month later you find that your stopwatch has you at being able to hold your breath for twenty seconds. A year later, it is two minutes! So much doubt, so much uncertainty, so many thoughts running rampant like hyenas in the night scape of your mind and soul promising to tear everything down in a moment….except that never happens, it never does. Okay, yes, sometimes it feels like the moorings of all your efforts gets loosened from their connection with this world, but nothing every falls apart like they used to. When things fall apart now, its like its faling into perfection because the old stuff as what truly was the problem (and the hyenas become sacred animal allies not some threat to your survival—funny how it can all change on a dime sometimes). You can doubt any of this wont work while still having it work. you can still be your miserable self and make incredible, even stupendous leaps ahead. I liken this to falling of the side of a building only to land in a pile of soft trash entirely and completely by accident and somehow come out of unscathed. Like someone is looking out of me (which is happening they all say). Oh dear, voices….
I paid attention to what was happening when I managed to feel no fear and no adrenaline! I just kept doing THAT and repeating it as much as possible. At first, it seems impossible, it feels like it is too much, but trust me that every effort is making a change and you have to keep doing what works. Focus on the little things that work. whatever they are. Maybe its listening to a recording of spring peepers, or maybe it is standing on cool grass, or hot sand, or having your face stroked or listening to music of a certain kind, or eating something totally random or drawing, driving, or writing. Oh dear…
Okay, my mind is leaping around a bit trying to see what bases I have or have not covered.
Food. I found for me, when I ate, I felt no adrenaline. Why was that, I wondered? I think it has to do with pleasure and comfort. I just needed to feel some level of comfort is all. Too edgy, too unconsciously filled with fear (oh my GOD…and I going to die??? Shut up!)
That comfort I felt while eating was probably primal, deep-set into us as humans. Or maybe it was just me. But I did not feel the dread of it all while eating. I paid attention to HOW I felt when eating. I tried to emulate it when not eating. Ultimately, it had to do with the chemistry of pleasure. I found that dropping the chemistry of fear was a choice to do. I just had to decide to FEEL differently and to grab hold of some sort of different feeling long enough to come to my senses, “Oh riiiiight! THAT is how feeling good is like!” Because you really are stuck with that adrenal button keeping the system powered up in the on position.
Sexual pleasure tended to bring adrenaline up kind of high, so it was itself a concern, but then in the wake of orgasm, there was itself a mix of feel good chemistry that helped some. I can’t say that sexual pleasure was always that helpful. Perhaps for me there was this uncertainty, a trauma from childhood about losing a parent or who knows what, that got comingled in my root. So I had to be careful sometimes. I found just feeling the bliss without anything physical was more expansive, didn’t involve the uncertainty of another person, the fear of being hurt maybe, or rejected or being walked on…who knows…we are a bundle of neurosis’s aren’t we?
Something happened at a certain point in my early process that was the most helpful thing, although it appears to be permanent and it makes me different now in how my mind/brain gets used, and that is what some call ego death. It isn’t really ego death, it is instead a substantive surrender within of needing to have the rational linear mind always working on solutions for things, as well as a basic reflecting on self in relationship with matter and physical reality (we also have a…super ego, what always struck me as a higher dimensional ego aspect. I think Jung mentions this and I suspect that these two egos actually correspond to the two hemisphere’s in the brain- the left brain is very focused and linear and the smaller ego that guves us so much trouble seems to be that one while the larger more expansive ego doesn’t have this issue because it is part of the more expansive nonlinear hemisphere the right brain—see Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk to see what I mean). The small part of ego we know is connected into this, I am certain. It just cannot parse the data contained in cosmic consciousness right and it gets hung up, feels intimidated, and goes into high gear of control. It is like someone with a garden hose trying to process the same volume of water as a firefighter’s hose would. It is the wrong tool or channel.
What happened for me was when I finally let go, a lot of fear was surrendered in that moment and something quite interesting happened. My thought-making brain (left hemisphere I observe) just stopped. It was so noticeable a thing. It’s like living in a house all your life and there is this fan in the duct work that is going all the time, I mean its on ALL THE TIME! But you don’t realize its on all the time, you just don’t notice it because of how ubiquitous it is! But when it finally shuts down, now THAT you notice! Suddenly all thought, or thought related to that busy monkey mind just….stops. You have this moment where its like the machinery just stops for the first time….silence. Peace. At least for a while.
My experience was I then was able to decide when to think and when not to. When thought stops, I just feel a state of quiet presence. It is SUCH a relief. I am afraid at this point that I have gotten so used to it that I am beginning to forget what it was like to have all that chatter going on. I try to read my words and sometimes THAT reminds me (yack yack yack!).
This is where they ride off into the sunset, our intrepid hero man with his hero self. Except that isn’t how it has worked.
I can still get neurotic if I let myself. I can. In fact, if I let myself slip, it can be worse than the way it was before because before I was used to keeping it tamped down, controlled. Now, I am terrible at hiding it. So in a way some things that remain for me to deal with feel more raw. I suspect it is due, for me, because the unfinished business now is the freshest crap on the pile. It takes real grace and surrender to let the fresh stuff go. It is because our own ego’s identify with it so much. The less we do, the more we can realize how silly it all is, the easier it is to let go. For me, the hardest thing was to let go of an outcome having to do with a child. How does one do that? I struggled for years.
I am still the same old me in many ways. I am passionate, engaged, dramatic, creative, but I lack the drag on me that I once had. I also had to recognize that the people who I thought I cared so much about or who I loved were really that good for me in the long run. I did everything I could to cut that out of my life. I had someone insert themselves into my life in what can only be described as forced spiritual connection, a kind of rape actually, which sounds impossible, but it happened. It happened in large part because I allowed myself to be too naive or hopeful about people’s natures. It was my own blindside….my karma. That took years to clean up and was in many ways the hardest to pull myself out of because of how powerfully it hijacked my body chemistry. That sounds crazy, right? It happened to me with adrenaline, too, so maybe I am a certain “type” who is more vulnerable than most to these kinds of things.
I am much better today, truly. I find that it is hard for me to operate as I once did. I have to put a real effort towards ego and also using the linear more focused part of my brain in the day to day. I am still learning how to keep good balance and it is a work in progress. There is this idea that we wake up and suddenly are enlightened and nothing others you. I saw U.G. Krishnamurti say, “Nothing bothers me.” Then I saw an interview with him near the end of his life and he looked like a caged racoon fighting for his life, swearing about all the horrible people in his life when he was young. Guru’s who are miserable in all truth, deceptive in their practices. I think the people who are just to blame are believers. Why do we set up anyone like this? Why do we have unrealistic expectations? We do not come fresh from the womb of creation when we wake up. We are still human. We stink, we fart, we make mistakes, we get angry, we FEEL. We can still be a mess. We expect a Buddha. Well, yes, that Buddha wakes up, but I suspect that they embroidered a little about the Buddha’s, making them greater with each telling. We lust for Gods. I ask you, why do we do this? Why do we willingly participate in such deluding?
Something new will come along and shows me that I am not as steady as I thought in my balancing act and that tends to make me more balanced once I learn from it and stop responding in a defensive way to a personal lesson. Over and over like this, I get forged. I hated it at first, but now I see how important it is. I have seen so much bullshit in others and I have seen my own so I am so much more realistic. I have even come to see our dishonesty about reality and our skirting of truth as a tender weakness that is part of our humanity. If we took that away we might lose the sweetness in our hearts even as we also remain pretty brutal in our treatment of others. We just have a long way to go to become gods and goddesses. We are on the road, though. I think it takes a lot of time, many lives, may emergences….
Bliss is clearer now, less entangled, quieter, and some parts of it are harder to pick up sometimes. They said this would happen. Here it is. And still, more work to do. I do not pretend I am some great guru. I am my own guru and I hope that you will be your own. I hope that you dig deep and find what works for you. Really, for as hard as that adrenal thing was, it taught me to learn to rely on myself. I learned to transform fear into bliss and love….mostly.
That probably wasn’t what you had hoped for. Well, there it is. I hope it helps.
I hope that you can get through the adrenal rush. You CAN do it. It is possible, and in fact, is necessary. You will do it or your body will break down. You will need to act, put your best stuff forward or get chemical assistance, which I do not recommend. Breath work is always a way to calm the body. Alternating nostril breathing itself can be very useful. Would that or does that work for you? Or is it just too intense for breathing to touch it? You might want to try experimenting with breath work if you haven’t tried. Eating calmed it, and exercise is a stop gap for the time being. I am a believer in using your intuition to guide. You would be surprised how good it is at helping you. Things seem very 11th hour, then something amazing happens…except that is almost always how it happens, right? You just never know HOW it is going to work out. Guided meditation, yoga nidra I think could be very helpful. Look it up and see if it is offered in your area. Obviously no one is doing this NOW during the pandemic, but I know a lady in my town who awoke and she got into using, and then teaching, the practice to others. She wears by it. Just need to release a little more stuff and it will help you to shift your inner chemistry. It is true alchemy! Good luck!
thank you God