Archives for posts with tag: ascension

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Awakening is like the Magic Visitor.

I am reminded today that if you have a teacher, that teacher might guide you to awakening. But if you don’t have a teacher, then awakening can come without the bells and whistles, instead being the force that brings you to it (this was how it happened to me—the force itself made it possible for me to awaken—I think it really wanted to wake me up!). Awakening, the Magical Visitor, finds the perfect way when there is a need. On a desert island? No worries; conditions will arise that will make it so you have visions. You will he tutored at night in the mysteries. Wherever you are, whatever your situation, the Magical Visitor will give you exactly what you needed in that moment. It feels so perfect because the solution has come from a place outside of time. That is why it feels so….fated…so perfect…because it comes from that place outside of our time. When you create a solution to a problem, you can see past, present, and future, so the solution will feel perfect.

Those in other traditions see this phenomenon, of course, but when you live in a country where there are yogis and yoginis, you use what you have. The Magic Visitor provides you with what fits you best for the time. But in so doing, people erroneously believe that the yogi or yogini is the Way. The Magic Visitor is much too versatile than that…

I have been told by a number of Indians that there is no way I could have awakened kundalini. They cite reasons, such as I do not have a guru, that I have not had darshan, that I did not cleanse the nadis (नाडी), that I did not do yoga, all prerequisites for even beginning to consider kundalini as making its way inside of you.

But what is kundalini?

I know that it is an abundance of life force, this thing we call prana or chi/qi. I know that in its abundance, I have felt its presence, its intelligence. I have tried speaking to it and I have quietly listened. It has spoken to me in the way that it seems to do best; imagery seen internally like dreams. To connect with it, I myself must be open to feeling, to being receptive, sensitive, intuitive. It whispers I must tap my feminine receptive side in my consciousness. It is a kind of vulnerability, it is also setting aside what I think I know. It is also embracing all the parts of who I am as my soul has created itself through many lifetimes as both man and woman. I pay heed to what my soul has sought in these lives as a way of knowing the Magic proportion necessary to bring myself to riotous creative fecundity, which is, simply, adjusting the masculine and feminine traits in my consciousness so that what is naturally in my soul can be expressed in this life, in this time. There is no better way to honor the Magic Visitor and no better way to bring forward and embody your authentic self. It means listening more than professing, at least for me. When I listen for it in nature, I know I am listening to myself. We exist in intensities cleverly hidden behind a veil of forgetting. You can pierce that veil by being receptive…

You cannot be hardheaded and do this well. I am heard-headed, but not when I hear it speak. I listen, I have made this promise to it that I want nothing more than to be more like it is….to grow into what it is, which is a visitor from the future. It doesn’t just come to me, but rather It is ready for me and waits for me to come to it, like how the feminine waits upon her suitor, using her own magical grace to make the call as It ripples through every atom on it’s way to him. What we are talking about is how intuition is able to access vast sums of information. It feels like how the feminine accesses the masculine.

It is a cheat, a wonderful opportunity to learn, to change my present and to change the whole time line – past, present and future. It says that we all win when we let this force into our lives. This is what it tells me.

What does it say to you? If you don’t think it will speak to you, have you tried? It is interesting how if you don’t have a teacher, it will bring the events perfectly timed so that you will get just what you need. Sometimes I think that we want to hear words from someone when all along we really needed to listen to the words that are welling up within us. By not listening, that wellspring can go dry, or appear to. Imagination is where you must go to begin accessing it. It is why so many miss it because they think imagination is just for fabrication, for making things up. True, but if you step three steps deeper into the secrets that imagination hides, you will quickly realize that imagination is used as a technology for making the unseen seen, the unknowable, known. Instead of fabrication, your mind goes blank, really blank, and you do not even worry about your mind being blank. So many people think the mind is like an art gallery whose spaces must be filled with objects, but this is not so at all. When you can not let your tinges of angst get to you that your mind is emptying out (gasp!), you can begin to experience transmissions both from the infinite as well as from your higher self. This is all done simply, by letting I tuition lead, by letting the blind part of the self seek it out….it is to me like being blinded, I cannot use my physical senses, I must use my inner senses instead, be blind to physical sensory experience and let my intuition and open imagination guide me. I can tell you that the more masculine rational mind will fuck it up every time because it is not made to comprehend the infinite. The feminine aspects of consciousness do. As a man, I have had to approach all of this openly, by making myself the way I need to be to find that Oracle within me, to sense the Presence of the Magic Visitor.

I have learned so much from this energy. It has shown me how it is. It has told me what I could hear when I asked questions of it. The answers also changed over time, too, as I matured and as I changed (which is telling; we may only hear what we ourselves will allow ourselves to know or grasp consciously). Sometimes there were things I either could not know the full answer on or would not be able to hear the answer for one reason or another….but always, the energy was kind and compassionate and considerate in its answers to me.

Sometimes I think that it would be nice to be in a community of like minded people, and in many ways I remain unwaivering in that sense. But then I get around these folks and I realize that what I am doing is perfect for me right now, and that I have reached a point where I rely so much on this energy to guide me that I may well be ungovernable…maybe that is a good thing!

Listen. Ask. Wait. Be ready for the answer. It might come through an inner message, it might come in the form of an unwitting conversation with a friend or stranger. When wading into these waters, expect the miraculous.

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Long before awakening came along for me, I had been seeing energy, called auras, for decades. I had studied energy and how it works in us for some time before awakening came. When awakening came though, there emerged a more complete and perhaps more direct and intense awareness of energy in all of its forms. Instead of just seeing the energy as I had done for years, I was feeling it, inside my own shell of perception. This is a perception that the late Jane Roberts trance personality Seth described 40 years ago as “Inner Vibrational Touch.” * Simply put, the sensory abilities that I had prior to the awakening event caused my inner senses that had already been used prior to be tripled in their strength at the least.

 

Some of my earliest perceptions as a consequence of my awakening was of an aspect of energy bodies better known as the meridian system. I saw these in others as well as myself (I had only seen a kind of fibrous character to the aura in the halo in the years prior to awakening with my ordinary energy sensing but now I was sensing the inner core of energy of all kinds). I didnt know at first that what I was glimpsing were meridians. I was doing this not with every person I saw. I was able to glimpse this through a particularly intimate or close connection that was forged as a facet of many awakenings that are referred to as the Twin Soul phenomenon. These are marked by a feeling as though one is sharing the same space as the other, that two consciousnesses are occupying the same psychic space even though they might be seperated by vast distances (in my case I had never met my “twin” in this life and she lived in another country).

In our encounters, which were less a willed process and one that simply was, I found  that my own inner proclivity to want to explore and discover manifested itself in my usng my newly enhanced third-eye perception to explore the physics of our bond. I wanted to understand why we were joined at the hip, so to speak, and why was it that thousands of others were also reporting the same phenomenon. I think I was able to see these meridian lines because of her and my initial close bonding.  Part of the experience was that the force of the draw was simply much too strong to resist, so instead of resisting, I went into it as deeply as I could in order to find out as much as I could about this experience (this blog is an outgrowth of those earliest of discoveries)

Very recently I realized that this perception of the meridians in the human body has a tie-in with what people describe as the “grid” or patterns in the universe. I was so not getting or even relating to all of this “grid” talk, mostly because the universe isnt a grid. I mean, if you look at it energetically, it isn’t. Instead, at the nano-scale, there are strands connecting everything to everything else in physical space, but this is seen at the subatomic scale mostly. The strands are so many that they wind up creating the appearance of a coherence…a glow rather than individual strands. Yet, this is the fundamental reality underlying this energy which is the necessity for a strand is based on laws related to physics (albeit energetically).

Since our bodies are made of matter and matter is energy, and because our consciousness is made up of aware energy (prana or qi), it makes sense to understand what we are dealing with here. I’m a guy who really loves to know how things work. I love how things work because I really want to know how I, a human, can co-create with the creative energy that pervades the whole universe ( and I know the energy is matter at a different vibration). That is it in a nutshell.

That said, the path to clearer seeing and perceiving is through a clarified self. To see clearly, the mirror must be polished, the glass must be cleared of its stain, the lake must be clarified of all of its muck to not only see into its depths, but to also see out of it. As a consequence, the inner work of clarifying, cleansing, and healing the distortions in the self are critical for a self that itself becomes the clear lense of inner sight (“insight”). The self must be cleansed of the forces that bias consciousness and misdirect attention. It is interesting that the force of awakening itself actually serves the purpose of helping to cleanse the self in this way. Followers, pilgrims, monks, and yogis through the ages have utilized the power of awakening to help cleanse the apparatus of perception so that they might see more clearly. The self, consciousness, becomes the telescope and microscope through which we can examine the world (and this includes the inner senses as well).

Doing this work leads to learning the difference between what I call the ego-compass and the soul-compass, which tends to point us in different directions (with the soul compass always getting us to the right place and cutting through the bullshit even if its the bullshit we have created for ourselves). We often tend to pick up the ego compass because it was such a central part of our thinking for so long, even if it led us into ditch after ditch. This is how we begin to adopt cosmic consciousness or cosmic mind. We learn that this so-called “false self” (boy I dislike that term!) is the same as this false or egoic compass. It is filled with things we desire, but those desires are driven by our distortions carried in our light body/consciousness . A real conundrum. Learning to detect the soulful compass from the selfish one can be a real challenge, but I have found that there are signs that help to identify it (both actually).

In the realm of energy, my eyes really were opened to a level I hadn’t quite experienced with seeing energy for years before awakening came. One of the first things that I found while existing in a state of union most of the time with a “soul twin” or “twin flame” experience was that I found that I would routinely use my inner sight to see her energy body. In truth, I coukd not always tell which was hers and which was mine sometimes.  I found that my consciousness would get very small and be able to see these strands of energy that moved through her whole body that looked like these white stands of light that looked a lot like nerve fibers. In fact, when I moved my energetic hand through them, I could feel them give and pull against my hand. They were kind of rubbery to my inner sense for energy. I also found that when I combed my hands through her field, it did two things. First, she would go into states of ecstacy, which she would complain of as being too much to take, to be able to feel, and still stay focused in the physical. Second, she would also go into opposite states that corresponded to what happens when we resist letting go of blocked energy. We have emotional meltdowns. I was there, combing her energy with my energy because I could feel how the interaction was so healing, but that it also was not the heady healing she was ready for. At this time, these meridians looked like white fibers. I was able to do this combing, a healing kind of massage, I guess, that I layer found was much like Reiki for how it was higher order energy and because I could do this from many thousands of miles away while it felt to her as though I was nearby The picture above is a poor representation of the strands I later saw, and how in earlier perceptions they were like veins or nerves, albeit energetic in nature and seeable only through the third eye. They were everywhere, down to the smallest level (cellular and subatomic) and up to the largest size along the torso.

If we fast forward a decade, we get to a point in my healing process where I have released a significant amount of material and I am finding that things are looking more and more different to me. What things, you might ask? Well, a lot of things really changed. For example, the release of so much emotionaly distorted stuff led me to understanding peoples’ behavior in relation to me in a much different way, which is that so much of what people think they see is the result of the distortions present in awareness. We assume so many things about how we think the world is or why people do what they do when in all truth we are judging based on each of our own inner rule book, which has nothing at all to do with what might actually be happening to the people in the world that we are seeing and judging (unknowingly). Our own inner distortions keep us from seeing things as the are, you see. That said, I am not suggesting that I am completely clear. I still have my work that I am actively engaged in, but increasingly, as I go from energetic event to energetic event, from one clearing to the next, my inner sensing has become much changed.

I knew that these white strands I had seen corresponded to the meridians in Chinese medicine. I saw that where each strand crossed another strand, ormwhere a branch moved into a central a channel, that there was always this little…chakra there, a vortex of energy. As each strand joined to still larger strands, these points got bigger and bigger, these chakras. Long before I knew anything about the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of chakras in the body, I was seeing many many of these points in the bodies of people who let me see them. I looked at my own, too, and it was when I was able to do this during a body work session with my healer that I was able to see something that I had never seen described in any of the literature….anywhere. Looking down at my body, I was able to see how each accupuncture/pressure point was actually made up of many other points all inside this one point. I saw in each strand also that the strand was not solid or monolithic but was instead made up of thousands and thousands of strands all within the same meridian itself. It was not unlike how it might look to see a bundle of fiberoptic fibers upclose. I could see some fibers within the meridian that were colored more darkly and I could trace that fiber back to a chakra point or meridian point down, say, into the leg or near the back, even though I was looking at the meridian going up the torso before it moved into the heart chakra, for example. I was able to see that everything in this meridian system was related to everything else and that all ofmit was delicately, masterfully, created as a portal for bringing in energy from the universe and spirit into our here and now. This energy could be for healing, for creating new technologies, for any number of things.

What came next was the realization that what was in us was also in the universe. Now, I knew that the torus field exists around every atom, every living being, and is also surrounding the earth, the sun, and also the galaxy, but so too is this thing everyone has been calling “the grid.” I just wasn’t making the connection! Tiny little torus’s that make up ever subatomic particle on up to living things, planets, suns, the whole shooting match. Making this connection helps to explain why it is that we feel everything as sentient and alive (because this living energy that runs through everything sentient and nonsentient is alive even if its in nonsentient matter….(as if THAT now makes ANY sense whatsoever!) It also shows that just as we have blocked energy in our bodies there can be blocked energy placed in the physical system, too. This manifests as troubled areas in the world where mostly humans fought or hurt each other and got energy stuck in the area where things took place. This can be released in the same way that we release stuck energy in ourselves.

I noticed that when I saw these energy points or chakras with all of these other smaller points from other strands or meridians within them, I realized that this was probably what was behind the depiction of chakras as many-petalled flowers. What I saw was a disc with many other discs within it. Each smaller disc was a strand from another chakra in the body, which means that our energy body is this interconnected, redundant system that takes the idea of connectivity to a whole new level. To say we were made for connection is an understatement! I had not read anywhere that a petal on one chakra corresponded to another chakra…but here I was seeing how these little ringlets or sphericules surrounding a pressure point were relating to a point in another chakra. Have you ever touched a point on your body and felt as though it was also touching another point further away?…as if you were touching two points, one physically and one energetically? It is very much like this in a way.

Now hang on: I want to stress something and I hope you can get what I am going to say. Inhave enough observations in thenworld of energy to know that since energy rides between one dimension and others, trying to get it to fall into neatly defined catagories is probably foolhearty to do. I have noticed that my perception will sometimes offer me something that is more like a hallucination, or an inner sensory creation in order to provide me information about the truth of what is going on. Many people who see auras describe them in a fairly uniform way despite the fact that the eyes cannot really see into that wavelength of energy! So what gives? The deeper truth here is that seeing auras is not a physical sense…at all. It is an inner sense. It appears that one is actually seeing this halo around the body when in fact, this is all just a seeming. Wait!! What?!! It is now widely known that when the brain is confronted with information that does not come from the five senses, it will plug that data into a sensory slot that makes the most sense to it at the time. Physiological psycholgists are familiar with this spectrum of behavior and itnis now well documented tha this does indeed happen. In  the case of seeing auras, the brain is aware of all of this information and it puts it into a visual center to be processed, even though it is not coming in from physical senses (this is how psychics can report hearing voices-claireaudience-as a means if speaking with thise who are no longer physical, for example). It seems that we are wired or designed for psychic senses.

As long as we carry powerful enough distortions in our fields of awareness, we will mistake our distortions for the truth. This is the risk we take. By learning how to FEEL fully and more deeply, we can begin to feel the deep innermost compass in our soul that will not err in directing each of us to the right place for our development and fulfillment.

I have also noticed that we can’t really examine these points beyond a third eye awareness and make much sense of them. Yes, we can objectively see where a strand or a chakra is blocked, but the path to unblocking is one that is not done objectively, but rather, subjectively. Subjectively how? By feeling, of course! By letting that rip-tide of near-orgasmic energy that is the bliss field pouring through us illuminate the blocks and push them on up and out, effectively transmuting the blocked energy into bliss energy! This is irrational. Forget your need or ability to control-like Shakti this is wild and free. This is through feeling that we do this. When you let this bliss flow and then shine that bliss into the darker corners of yourself or another, it begins to break up the blocked energy right away….unless the other resists it. And sometimes when we turn it on ourselves, we can actually feel the resistance building in us. But what I have found is that this is not cause for upset with ourselves, just see the resistance as a sign that points directly to where your next challenge in healing lies. A problem thus becomes your teacher….not just a problem to be solved or set aside (or worse; hidden). Some people have an amazing ability to hold onto old junk and keep from letting go their grip on the familiar in favor of the new human experiencing the cosmic (I count myself as one of these people with an extraordinary grip!). Anyway…

So we can use the rational mind to see things as they are if we can clear the third eye chakra. But seeing is not feeling, so be ready to feel the issue full-on with your whole energy body. But to feel clearly, I have found we each need to be clear….and to be clear, we really need to be honest with ourselves. I have seen how others have fooled themselves into thinking they were further along then they really were because of how their own work was used to fuel their often brutalized ego, which soaked up all the love and turned it into more of itself (which was ego-energy).

If you want a quick way out of the path of progress, just feed that ego. It will tell you all kinds of things, some completely true, but some remarkably distorted, about how things are. This is in large part because the small individual ego onlynhas access to your own localized belief systems that you have adopted in this life, it does not access as a matter of course the information from the superself or cosmic consciousness (which is where an even more expansive sense or superego resides that is involved in touching the others in cosmic encounters beyond ordinary consciousness) This is why it is so useful to be able to step outside of ego and into that silence of the self where the eternal stream of pranic bliss can be met and felt. It isn’t that ego is bad or evil. It is in fact completely necessary as a filtering device for phenomenon (trust me, feeling your neighbor stubbing her toe isn’t always the great experience-we are individual for a reason). Without ego, you would be completely overtaken with the flood of information flowing through the whole of the universe, which happens to also be flowing through you as well (we just feel it as “flow” instead of the gazillions of feelings thoughts and bitsmof information from everyone and everything else in the universe). Haven’t you ever felt that stream of energy-as-information? Have you sensed how it would be just too much for any one person to be completely aware of? Have you felt that overwhelming immensity, knowing that you were standing off to the side, like a person looking at an immense vista rather than merging with its totality? Well, that is what we do each moment of the day. It is also why the energy is orgasmic…it carries so much creative energy, which is naturally stimulating in nature. And by orgasmic, I mean energetically orgasmic, what the Buddhas have all known as bliss. To handle it all, and to experience individuality, we have the marvelous filter called ego. But we also have to be careful that it doesnt get inflated, right? By learning to side-step ego, cosmic consciousness can be experienced without it getting in the way. Some want to call this “ego death” which, having gone through what this is supposed to represent, I can say that ego does not die…only our dependence on its filling a central role in our lives dies or is refigured. No death, only life. More and more life!

I observed that the meridian system connects everything in the body, along energetic lines, together. This means that I saw how these lines exist all the way down at the subatomic level. This is what I mean when I said in the beginning that I explored the energy body of the one I was connected to at the early stages of my awakening. AsmI delved into the energy field, I saw that these lines went to finer and finer lines until the lines went into subatomic particles. Its really wuite a fascinating thing to see. At the level of the atom, these lines look different than the main meridians do. At the level of the meridians that travel along the trunk of the body, there are so many strands existing there from all the other things that the energy is connecting, that it looks like an artery when it is in truth made up of millions of individual strands, much like fiber optic cables that are bundled together. Further, the way a strand or “artery” feels in the torso is different from how it feels at the subatomic level. At the subatomic level,the force is very weak compared to the force of the overall auric field. Still, though, there is nothing quite so joyous as feeling what the “subatomics” are feeling every moment of the day. The capacity might be small at the subatomic level, but the force it connects to is very strong (the universe). When I have seen the strands at the subatomic level, they are much like spiders webs, except that the strand is made up of extremely thin strands of white light that has this slight glow around them. The glow from a distance in perception can be read as the strand itself, making it seem bigger than it is. Look closely and I saw that the energy was both field and particle all at once. It was hard for me to divide this perception…it was simply…both all at once. It had magnetic properties that made it possible to disrupt the flow while still maintaining the overall structure of the energetic field. If you cut off a finger, the field is not cut off, it reforms itself like the body does in order to heal.

Whether or not our own chakras corresponds to chakras that are in the physical system, like the earth or cosmos, I can’t say. I haven’t looked into it like this yet, but I am interested in doing so. I am also very interested in anyone who might have some observations that they have made along these lines. I do know that I have felt the energetic lines of the earth every day, and I have felt the energy of the sun and how it interacts with earth. I just haven’t sensed into these bodies or fields for the presence of these transit lines or points where they cross (aka chakras). Maybe in the universe it is on a different scale than our own bodies. I’m not sure that our chakra system is a carbon copy of anything except the human being. Maybe the transit system for energy is what is common, tying everything together regardless of how things connect together. I would love to hear your thoughts because you know how meditating on and noodling these things are…

 

* While in trance, Jane Roberts personality Seth described a series of inner senses which readers ofmthe Seth books could discover and use for better understanding the world and their place in it. Inner Vibrational Touch was described as picking up where empathy leaves off. Empathy suggests an ability to reflect on ones own past experience and infer what someone must be feeling. With IVT, it is possible to feel as the other person is feeling in that moment. One is able to tune into the specific vibration of emotion and replicate it within ones own perception. It thus feels as though one is experiencing directly what the other person is feeling (this is also consistent with the majority of people and their experiences with awakening).

For perspective, the Egyptian culture brought us the description and detailing of hundreds of inner senses, of which IVT is but one of many.

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My morning window view

 

 

It comes in the unexpected moments,

with lack of guard

the inbetween

where the barrier to it falls

the heart melts

the self is returned to its primordial state

a glimpse

that returns again and again

until the brilliant flash fills and alters

changing you forever.

 

 

It isn’t worth wasting it

on anything but wonder

this sovereign moment

that owns itself

turning you over to a higher ❤️

a force that

forges you

bending the crooked

straightening,

cleansing,

purifying…

 

It can come at any time

especially when you least expect it…

making a lover of you.

In the work of awakening, the great stumbling blocks we encounter are the things we resist. And what you resist is what persists.

The road to wholeness and happiness is in the singular awareness that no matter what troubles you in your life, it all comes down to an inner resistance deep within. It does not seem that way when we get upset by the events and people in our lives that upset us, but what’s unsettling you is an inability to see and respond to things as they are. When you are able to see things as they are, without your own inner dialog running, you can much more easily accept that things are happening not to unseat you from your bliss, but that you are resisting the world as it is. You probably wont change the world, but you can change yourself, which is what inspires others to want to change, and many people all doing this in their own back yards helps to sow seeds of change. People have their own reasons for doing what they do that most often has nothing at all to do with you, but is more a story all their own. When you can honestly give them real space to be, resistance ends and we can accept that none of what upsets us is personal. We choose to be hurt. We choose to be angry. Most often, we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel in each moment, though. This is resistance. Expect the feeling to persist many times each day. Or you can let it go. Was it really so important to your ego. Really?

All the great teachers taught how important it was to chang the mind. Even Jesus did so. Jesus is often thought to have used the word “repent” as the key term for shifting the tide, but he (along with John the Baptist) actually used the word Metanoia, which means to change ones mind. Call it a translational error, but if you ask me, its a significant clarification that really casts more of Jesus teaching in a new light. But I digress. The point is that all of the great teacher saw, experienced, and knew that we all have a capacity to remove thinking of one kind much the same way a mask of thinking or believing is removed (often with the effect of revealing a deeper layer of being and thinking that’s more original to our nature in the process).

So I ask you, how do you see things differently? It is all in how you choose to see it—the power is in your mind! Choose a different conclusion, choose a different assumption. It only seems hard if you have never tried.

How many times did you have something happen where you assumed an outcome that was completely wrong once you learned more about it later? We make all kinds of assumptions that are based more on who we are rather than how things are in the world. I have seen myself do this more times than I care to admit. But I do learn from them when they happen. It’s done by reflecting on events from the past and assuming the events are following the same pattern, but nothing is ever quite the way we think it is, especially from the past and how we have responded to it emotionally as we color it the way it suits us.

Now what if you could rewind the tape and assume differently using a whole different mindset? Maybe you try not to judge anything until you speak to the people involved, or until you check your messages, or gather more information. All of this behavior I’m describing says nothing about the world, it’s only saying something about you. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of similar assumptions before. Maybe you know what it’s like to have someone do that, completely convinced of the utterly fallacious script running in their heads, right? So change it on your end and it will be one less person doing this. Your greatest gift is who you are. What kind of you do you want to be?

I was once told a dream this guy had. It illustrates resistance and acceptance so well. In the dream, my friend would encounter werewolves. This dream would happen over and over. It bugged him. These werewolves would show up as these slobbering wild men who would transform into these beasts, menacing and chasing him all night long. It was really getting old and he needed a solution to this nighttime delimna.

One night my friend was in his dream and he saw these men coming through the woods. They had just transformed and came rushing up at him. The chief werewolf got up in his face. He was still wearing, of all things, his sunglasses! As my friend looked closely, he could see his reflection in the glasses. What he saw surprised him; he could see that he too was a werewolf! He could see his own teeth gleaming in the reflection as the other werewolf smiled with a grimacing set of teeth. My friend, realizing all of this, gave a chuckle and took off with the pack, howling and running like the wild things that they were. Oh, and after that, my friend no longer had another werewolf dream.

I can’t speak for him, but I think one thing is clear; our dreamer was resisting something about himself which morphed into fear and scary dreams about an aspect of himself he had been resisting. Once he accepted it, he integrated it into himself, making it a conscious (rather than subconscious) part of himself. Maybe he was afraid of what it might mean if he was a werewolf. But instead, accepting it freed him of fear and the trouble it caused and he saw these werewolves were all just out having a grand old time. He learned, I think, that what he resisted wasn’t about what he thought at all. He integrated or accepted it, and thus was free.

So for our dreamer it might have been fear of his wild side. For you, it might be something else. It could be any sort of fear that drives you…and very often these issues come down to fear of some kind. A fearless person is calm, gentle, easy in themselves. They dont jump to conclusions. Maybe you fear a seemingly thoughtless person. But let me ask; if they are being thoughtless, how could it be that they are being this way just to upset little old you? Let it be, give it acceptance, maybe see that it was in you all along, and you will see it all melt or fall away like a house of cards. It means being willing to change your mind, to change how you see it. Then, poof, like magic, it evaporates and any negative charge it had is gone because you changed it. This is the essence of all clearing of the consciousness to help reveal the true self shining within. And this self is more free to express itself. Energy moves more freely when you are not so resistant to an aspect of yourself that remains unhealed. You are, afterall, a conduit for an energy that was called “the water of life.”

“Be like water, my friend.” —Bruce Lee

Your energy body is a perfect reflection of the totality of the universal truths of existence. The seven major chakras represent seven major aspects that make up the seed of all creation. In you are seven major chakras which are like an octave, a totality. When you can clear these seven chakras of all of the shame and guilt and repressed emotions, you can begin to really know by direct experience what creation is because it has been seeded in you. This is the “divine spark” the Atman, the higher self. 

This “seed” has within it the power to know truth (crown chakra), see the truth(third eye chakra), speak the truth (throat chakra) love the truth (heart), be the truth (solar plexus), feel the truth (the sacral chakra) and create the truth (the root chakra). When these centers are clear, you no longer repress the truth but experience it cleanly. As long as you have repressed emotion in a part of the light body, so too will the truth be hidden from your direct experience. Clearing these centers is an act of clearing karma. You might think karma is tied to your actions, but I ask; what is the root of your actions? This is what clearing karma is, and it closely aligned to the concept of sin (which means anything that harms your soul). It clears away bad memories, bad knee-jerk behaviors that keep you in a cycle of pain and spreading that pain to others. It clears you so you know who you truly are beneath that mountain of dross. This is the true freedom, it is true peace. 

When you reach this place, you see clearly that anyone behaving in anything other than their highest is simply acting in accord with this mountain of things. And while we are human, and imperfect, we also can step into, and remain, in a fully integrated self that calls on all aspects of the self, including the super self. Yes, the world is imperfect, but to bring perfection it is incumbent on you to reach it first for yourself. This can only be done through a process of inner inquiry, observation, and radical self honesty. You have to want truth more than you want the mountain of things.

How you do this clearing work can be found on this blog by using the Search function with the keywords “clearing blocks.” There should be more than 30 posts that speak to the techniques that are most effective for doing this work. There are techniques for clearing this blocked or stored energy using TRE, movement, breathing, and eastern methods like Qi Gung, just to name a few.

One if the biggest blocks we have as a species is in our root chakras. Here, our ability to give and receive nurture exists. It is where our creative fire is initiated, whether for creating new life in the physical or for that next new idea or way to help create your day in a new way. Creativity is so much more than an artistic pursuit as it is a way of being and living.

We are all so tied up with root block, and it shows! It shows in how we have so little regard for creativity in our culture (save for technical pursuits). It also shows up glaringly in how we treat sex. It is pushed down, made dirty by taboo and “kinks” in our being. As a result, we never get to experience our creativity as the wildly powerful thing that it is. We regulate, control, and turn it down because we think it’s inappropriate to ooze with it, or let it fill our life with its vitality, wonder, bliss, and the awe it brings. It is our collective shame that most everyone here is faced with dissolving and letting go. It is our shame that literally attenuates or blocks our full experience with the divine within. The divine does not move with these kinds of shackles. 

Getting to the root is substantive work that when cleared makes the rest of the work easier, but it’s most often the last center to clear in people. Why? It is so foundational. It leads us to what we are: co-creators. Most don’t want that kind of responsibility, so we shirk it by saying our problems are because of our parents, our loved ones, our society and its institutions. But ask any co-creators and they will tell you, your misfortunes are all entirely self made. It’s because this is so hard to face that many don’t, preferring instead to blame an event in childhood as the cause. But it isnt the cause, it is a symptom.

I know this is hard to believe or trust us true, but if you apply this awareness to your life, you will progress much quicker and be much happier.

This is why it is only a symptom….

You chose your life and your parents. You chose them in order to set up events that would challenge you to both create and to heal. No true learning comes by way of a mental understanding of how bad something is that needs to be healed; you have to know this through every inch and atom of you. No exceptions. This is how the divine is; it is not a half measure of itself. It is a full measure. It only got to be that way by not falling for anything but the best of itself. It has made itself and it is unwavering in this. This is why when you try to heal and reach into the divine that you are that you can feel a lot of tension inside building up. You are dragging your mountain of things into it, and you can feel the chaos and tension and difficulty with just trying to remain in that superstate. Eventually, you are destined to “fall” from that grace over and over until you learn that you cannot enter your heaven with that baggage. When you awaken you can visit there for longer and longer periods, but your fall is all but promised when you still have work to do. Once you clear the baggage, you naturally and effortlessly are able to remain in this heavenly state with ease. And to be clear; this is a process, so most often, ease comes gradually, piece by piece as the blocks are removed. Its because they block you from something that you really are, deeper down. 

We get tricked into thinking that we are victims of our past or our upbringing as a way of not having to dispense with our brokenness. But the events in your early life are the result of a soul that exists prior to each lifetime. It is a glitch already in you that is creating how you are. No one makes you do or be anything. You choose just as you chose the conditions of your birth. You are here to clean it up. So instead of playing the victim, play the role of the responsible creator-in-training that you truly are. If you adopt this attitude, it will straighten all that is crooked in you. It will make you strong. It will make you more honest. Now be ready to work at it each and every day until it becomes a part of your thinking and feeling; this is true empowerment!

It is for some an inconvenient truth that there are two forces working to make prana and these two are described as yin and yang, the Shakti and Shiva. They are in Jungian psychology the anima and animus. In ancient Christianity they are the father and Holy Ghost (which was considered the feminine aspect before orthodoxy came and obfuscated it’s true meaning). What we are looking at are two forces in us that we experience as archetypes in our lives and our cultural and religious institutions, and eventually they merge into one in order to fuel both awakening and divine union. In awakening, we can experience them as the “lost” sides of ourselves, our twin (a karmic relationship in awakening) or as a side of God that allows us to experience ecstatic union with the divine. This is all there to help us learn not to feel shame about sexuality and spirituality existing together in an unbridled and free way. This happens when the self becomes less divided and more whole. 

Once free, dysfunction is healed. Sexual “kinks” go away, and a desire to use sex for control (men and women both do this in different ways) and what replaces it is nothing short of relief and freedom. Your creative energy expressed through all seven centers (the seed) is free to be.

To get there, though, requires diving deep into the matters of the root in order to acknowledge what’s bent, broken, and limiting you. You can’t feel the divine by doing this intellectually. You can’t do it by leaving any single part of you behind. You can’t know the divine until you ARE the divine, which has no compunction about sexuality or ecstacy as one channel of the seven major rivers of experience which leads us to that one great ocean. To be whole, the whole must ascend together bearing no more falsehoods about itself.

I realized that I was a tantric when I began recognizing that my sexuality had to come along and be okay with complete and total surrender and flow of all that I am. That means, no shame with sexuality. So I have worked on healing this shame and it has helped me to be more grounded, healthy, and happy. I am at ease with my riotous creativity. I also no longer hang out with people who don’t understand or value my creative fire and the vast abundance that lies bubbling up from deep within me. Whenever I have been able to dispense with people who are limited in their own hearts and minds, I tend to soar on skies that I know are my own. It isn’t that I study tantra or even practice sacred sexuality,  because the truth of tantra at its core is this idea I have been telling you about, which is being healed and more fully integrated so there are no divisions within who you are. You are free to feel all aspects of yourself as bliss and the love behind it that supports the universe.

 I promise that dissolving your deep-seated shame will also dissolve the appearance of divisions in the self.

This healing is a critical first step in the awakened experience. Nothing substantive can be done before you clear the dross within. Deprogram, cleanse, heal, and you will find the you you knew existed within you.

Yes, cleansing is a process. It might take years to go through all the levels, but by clearing them, it is rare to go back and reinstitute them. My experience is that some blocks go fast and easy but there are others that are deceptively hard. You can’t B.S. your way through this, you just have to be honest with yourself when you continue having a problem cropping up; you haven’t cleared it yet. Be patient, and be ready to continue doing the work. This is not a race. Give up your misgivings because you created them. 

The conditions of your life are only a symptom that comes from your own inner origin that you have come here to clean up. Once you do, the events and conditions that were in that old life will be gone forever. A more accurate set of conditions of events will prevail. If you espouse the value of “ascension” then this is the process that will get you there.

Until next time….

 

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I started a project yesterday that has been nagging at me for years that involves my encounter with early Christian texts and what I have found was an effort to change the teachings of Jesus in order to appeal to a specific group of believers.  While I’d love nothing more than to have a real cloak and dagger story for the sake of excitement, what we have as historical documents is scant.  But the fix was in even during the life of Jesus in terms of who would tell the story of this man’s teachings and what that story was going to look like.  
I know I am going against 1600 years of ingrained belief and programming, but it is a story that deserves to be told.  Jesus was deep into the forces of awakening and taught about them, but either those in power wanted to hide them away, or they simply could not understand what a certain strand of his teachings even meant.  Having said this, those who had these deeper teachings were hunted relentlessly in an effort to not allow these most important of his teachings to see the light of day.  Whether by design or by ignorance, this was the result.  And this, I now know, is a fact.

 

For me, the story begins when I was young and had trouble with the church and its teachings.  For me, my trouble wasn’t as vague as some people’s problems with the church often tend to be.  In my experience, I had this very strange and unexplainable sense that the church had hidden something of great importance from the public. It is this hidden element within Christianity that made all the difference in knowing God intimately, directly. The only problem was I didn’t know why I had this sense growing up.  But like so many people I knew who were church goers or grew up in a family who went to church, something just didn’t add up. 
The story gets interesting when I began looking at early Christian documents that had not been a part of the canon of the church. I did this after a friend  saw a piece of my writing and suggested I look at a certain book because, as he explained, what I had written bore similarities to this early book.  
I was at this time going through a six month period that was for me, the time that I was waking up.  For me, it was a gradual process with a number of steps.  Clearly, I knew something was up and that I was somehow being prepared for something.  What it was, I didn’t really have a clue.  
When I first read those passages in a book that stretched back into antiquity two thousand years, I felt a familiar stirring inside of me and wanted to know more.  It would take going through a full awakening, though, for me to be able to pick out the passages that were clearly talking about awakening.  Scholars, though, described these passages as “strange teachings” and this showed clearly to me that even they didn’t understand what Jesus was getting at.  How could it be, I wondered, that I could see these for what they were and no one else could?  
In writings by a follower of Jesus, a church developed in the second century called the Valentinian church or school. They explained that only those who had attained the light would be able to understand the teachings.  Otherwise, they would seem like strange incomprehensible teachings.  Could it be, I wondered?  How could someone without a deep background in scholarly study of the Bible like me identify what they were talking about was related directly to awakening?  
Because of how the church and our world has evolved, we tend to look to learned authorities for confirmation about what is true or not true.  But these authorities are part of a system of being and thought that is part of the problem, which is of course the same problem that the early church had to begin with when they suppressed the teachings to begin with.

 

At the center of this story is a Wild spirit that if known, brings about revelation, self knowing, secret knowledge, and healing.  This is the story that should have been told.Now that the beginning work has been done, the rest is going to be more scholarly work with research and historical accounts.  Dry stuff for me, but the story is so compelling and so interesting that I think that it will turn into an interesting read once I am done with it.  Finger crossed!
This is ultimately a work of devotion in the hopes that it can help bring a paradigm shift in thinking by placing something wonderful and wild back in a central role in an understanding of the forces of awakening that are  redemptive in nature.

Reveal your Light

Awakening.  It brings so much.  For many, the first few years of an awakening can feel like you are running to just catch up.  Incredible things have happened, and continue to.  Some of it is hard, really hard, but understanding the hardness we feel is less the energy and our own inner states as something within us opens like a flower, the outer husk pulling away hesitantly at first, then more willingly as it dawns on you that THIS is how it was supposed to be…

It brings insight.  It brings healing.  It brings the light and can guide you to your own god-given gifts that seem to be coming at just the right time.  If nothing else, the light that you can shed in your own corner of the world can help to illuminate the shadow and help to scatter and transform the thinking that keeps us in shadow.  I will tell you that based on my own experience, there is no honor in keeping your own pain within.  There is no honor in shadow, just a necessity to clear it out so that you can be clear with what is.  And with it, the inevitability of the Light.  So let it shine in your life.  Awakening is going to clear you out, it’s going to, so make yourself available, and while you are at it, you can choose happiness instead of sorrow or pain or guilt or shame.

 

See, awakening makes you more aware, yes, and this is what makes it possible to clear hundreds and thousands of blocks, all that constitute programs or patterns of thinking that simply no longer work in the awakened state.  I wrote not long ago about how at a certain stage of my awakening I began to encounter a field of energy that I call the “Sea of Sorrow” and just yesterday an old friend from my college days talked about how she sunk into the collective sadness of the human race as she dredged all of the hard feelings and regrets, the election, patriarchy, all of it. And the thing is, its all true.  None of it is not on the mark.

 

We hurt.  We have hurt collectively for a very long time.  And just like my old friend from graduate school, when I felt this vast sea of sorrow open up to my mind and inner senses, it was so tangible, so real.  I wrote in my recent post about how I thought it was mine and that I needed to cleanse it, to purge it.  So I sank into it and would find myself in the deepest grief ever. Now mind you, I think that acknowledging your emotions is important.  You can’t ignore them.  But here is the difference for many people, and I was one of them; we think it is a thing that demands our attention.  Awakening tells a very different story.  It says to me that it is there, it is real, and it is up to you what you choose to focus on.  No one was coming to me telling me “Parker, this is a fools errand…come here, let me explain a few things to you…” No, that never happened.  In fact, this was a period when I had a whole slew of guardians and guides working with me during waking and in dream.  Freewill. They were letting me work through it because they knew I thought it was important. Maybe they knew how impermanent my belief in this would be, I don’t know.  I did find that this Sea was vast.  Oh my goodness!  It was almost without end.  I thought that by processing it, I could transmute it. I realized there was no way that I had all of this sorrow in me.  Not this life and not in the sum of my lifetimes.  No way.

 

So I realized that this was one of those resonant fields that we can often tap into in an accelerated state of consciousness (or be more aware that we are indeed tapping into it, feeding into it just like everyone else is), and that it belonged not just to me, but to all of us.  The sadness was so strong, the pull so powerful, I could have stayed there as it slowly ate away my heart and soul.  No, I realized that I could not do this alone.  I had to find a better way.  So I did.  I left and I did not look back. And you know what happened?  My awakening sped up.  It accelerated.  It clarified.  I clarified more and more.  I was and remain a work in progress, and I do not claim any absolute condition of grace or light or perfect joy.  But what I do know is that there is light in all of this.  There is joy to be had, and I have a choice. We all do.

 

When I read as a young boy the stories of how people had died and were brought back from death with amazing stories about their next step beyond this life, I realized I had found an important piece of the truth that could set us free here; a real honest to goodness avenue for seeing into the next realm beyond our physical lives here.  It had the power, I thought, of erasing our fear of death.  I have been interested in these things ever since because they served to show me what religions could not, what religion simply told me I had to believe if I was to get on spiritually.  Really? These stories were about the Light.  The light.  Over and over, this great light that suffuses every single person with a sense of peace and love.  Anyone who has gone there does not want to come back. Their return is a hard affair, taking on this body again, often ravaged by whatever had taken their life to begin with.

 

But the light remains.  This light changes people’s lives.  Those who have had NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) come back with a feeling of a mission. People who awaken likewise often have some form of an encounter with the light.  I know I did.  Brilliant, pure white, I saw in it the love I have for white my whole life.  This “whiteness” of the light was less about what we see with our eyes and what we feel in our souls.  This “whiteness” or “brightness” is a soulful energy that fills everything top to bottom.  It illuminates.  And yet, even so, it is not enough to feel it “over there” but instead, to work with this light in our lives HERE in order to work it all out.  The very act of entering into creation, into what so many call “illusion” is actually an incredibly powerful conjunction of spirit and the matter or form that it creates.  We come to work out every single thing we can.  The Light itself is not enough.  Its love is so total, its compassion to great that it does not ask anything of us nor does it judge.  It is just there, available for everyone.  But here, we become aware of the shadow and then as we do that, the Light comes chugging down the pike, filling us and healing what makes us less than that Light.

 

So, see, its important to know the shadow that still lies in you.  It’s important to go through your life being as honest as you can with yourself, and in turn, with others. And sometimes, that honesty is too much for others, yes, and you just do what you can and take care of yourself (because their lack of hearing it from you might well be something within you that remains a mirror for them).  We rise through greater and greater levels of honesty as we clarify.  But I can tell you, remaining in shadow, there is no benefit. The only benefit in resting in shadow is to cast your light into it to transmute it. Otherwise,  it only reinforces itself.

 

If the light is in you, it is constantly drilling down into your darker recesses and clearing away the knots and broken bits.  And so much of it?  It’s mostly how we choose to feel.  When we let go of that identification with our hurt and pain, oh baby, it just falls away.  But our reliance on our hurt and pain is absolutely and totally neurotic in us humans.  We humans turn our hurt into great shields which hide us from the inevitability of the light overturning all of it.  We hate it and love it all at the same time.  Have you ever heard someone talk about all their ills and hurts?  They go on and on and as you look at their face, with furrowed brow, you see that while they tell themselves and act like its something terrible, they really deep down are loving it.  They love to hate it.  But look at all of that attraction to it!  And look, I know; I have been there.  Parts of me still have their hitches, but enough of this has released from me to be able to see how so many of my releases were just there for me to tend to them, like a person picking at a scab.  Isn’t it just delicious?  Oh, look at how the blood will flow….isn’t it horrible?  And we can’t look away!

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Through all of this neurosis, awakening will come for even the smallest little knot in you.  Just open like that flower, and don’t worry.  The universe has your back.  It’s not out to get you.  Nothing does.  Not even entities.  Even those entities have been invited inside of you by you.  YOU.  Your hurt has attracted them because that is all these little creatures really know.  They aren’t advanced at all, but they are doing only what feels familiar to them.  We do the same on our own level.  We are attracted to people of a certain type or even wound.  And we play out the dramas until the cows come home.

 

Note:  the cows have come home, darling.  Its time to get over it.  Open the windows, let in the air, let in the light!

 

Let your light shine.  Let it.  Find what you are good at.  Find your passion.  Find your own love. If you do, you will find a new kind of calling, a better more efficient way of being.  The closer you are to your own soul-flow, the easier things are.  Synchronicities abound.  Its kind of magical, really.  Take care of yourself and learn to love yourself.  You wont be able to love anyone authentically unless you love yourself first.  Truly.  Seek your passion.  Find people who like to talk about the same things as you and find what you can learn from them. Sometimes its good, sometimes it can be a cautionary tale.  It will be a bit of both, most likely.

 

If you are in a soul connection, find out ways that you can help bring healing.  It might be hard to do at times, but it can offer healing if you can be honest about what lies beneath, this swell of shadow you know is your work, the karma you share, but realize, too, that together this can also strengthen the karma unless you are really invested in actively digging into that shadow between the two of you and letting it go.  And in the midst of this, find reasons to smile.  If you don’t feel happy, work on that.  Sit in meditation and try cracking a smile and see what happens to your body over time.  Bid the light to come even in the midst of shadow.  You might be surprised to find that a certain block that you know you have is now feeling differently just by how you look at it.  And what if you looked at it like it was nothing?  What if you considered that all of this is just a pattern…..and you have the ability to just wipe that pattern away like dust from a chalk board.  How long do you think it will take for you to forget what that pattern was that seemed so permanent a moment before?

 

If you feel shadow, what do you really think this shadow is?  Your own feelings of remorse, guilt, shame, or upset over how something happened eons ago that now you don’t hardly remember but you know it’s just there?  Let it be anonymous.  Let it anonymously fall away.  Say you are done.  Say you want relief from it.  You can ask for this.  You can.  It is allowed.  Spirit, if it seems to want anything, is for us to know who we are in our fullness and to see us filled with the light.

 

When you let your light shine, you will release a ripple of bliss field energy into your life.  You will feel comfortable, you will feel more at ease.  You will glow.  And people will notice.  Its was actually a really nice confirmation when this happened to me.  I had finally let it flow in me.  I was so jammed up….years of jammed-up energy!  Oh my goodness sakes.  My walk changed. I felt sexy.  I felt free.  I felt alive.  I had dropped all this shame.  I remember walking past people who hadn’t even seen me only to see them turn around and scan their visual field looking for something….and boom.  This happened so often, I learned to recognize it. I could feel it.  A soul was picking up on something that they wanted in themselves.  It is true.  Even the unawakened find this to be irresistible.  We all need it. We do.  But as long as we are jammed up in ourselves, we wont realize its really what we want to feel in ourselves.  We will think its the other person, or a hundred other things.  It is US.  Here.  And its everyone’s responsibility to find it for themselves.  And me?  I am just reminding you that it’s in you and that, yes, you can.  You just need to let go.  And then, you let go even deeper.  And once you do that, you keep let going and you keep doing this for years.  It’s hard to explain just how deep our tangle goes.  Even people who have gone through awakening for years have work to do.  And this is really one big reason for why we are here.

 

So let it shine.  Let it rip!  And awakening will untangle you.  Its sort of like autopilot.  Make yourself available in each moment.  A block can go as you step out of the car, or walk through the grocery store line or as you lay in meditation….okay, maybe only I lay in meditation, but it works.  All of this is an incredible renovation job, and it begins inside.

नमोस्कार (Namaste)

 

Its been five years to the day that I began writing on WordPress, and my how time flies! It is also a date that is very close (within days) to the day of the full rise of kundalini five years prior to my incept date on Waking The Infinite. No, that wasn’t planned, it’s just how it happened (the blog and awakening). Since then, it’s been my pleasure to share with you the many insights I have been blessed with in my journey, as it’s been my sincere desire that some of it may help you in your own journey by being aware of what is possible.
With there never being a dull moment, I will share with you something that took place last night that I have not experienced before that took me by surprise. But first, a little back story….
Recently I posted about how the use of binaural beats can aid in inducing deep brain states. I even included a link to one such video that has resulted in some rather startling results. The audio I have been using has been tuned into the brain wave range of Delta and Theta brain wave activity and has helped me to quickly enter those states while still awake. Let me know if you want a copy, I am happy to send you the links.

This is the post link:  https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/binaural-beats-self-improvement-through-technology/
I am doing this work to aid in the healing of the last remaining block in my body. As I have written before, these blocks can be places where entities can attach to feed on the lower vibrational energy that these blocks create (we are actually creating this energy in the block). But once the light body is healed, the attraction ceases, the moths go elsewhere, and the light body is returned to a more pristine state. Energy goes from intense to smooth. Emotions are less disrupted. I have been keen to root out this last presence and heal the wound.

 
In the last meditation with this a few weeks ago, I had inner light activity that I associate with other consciousnesses entering my field. I used to experience them whenever I would think about another person such as the one who I thought was my soul twin. She would have a consistent color to her light as she would wink in with a brilliant star-light flash signaling “hi!”

 
This time, though, as part of my awareness was out of my body looking down through my light body, I saw a red flash that flared deep down in the lower core of my body. Inner mind said calmly, “That was the entity.” As soon as that happened, I felt it move for the first time….ever. It’s an odd sensation, much like how it might feel when something moves on top of the blankets; there is no sense of feeling movement except by way of the vibrations it makes. It has a hollow indirectness to it that feels so….curious. I hadn’t felt that since 2008 when I released from my body several entities who had took up shop in my field since who knows when. I knew they had all gone, all but one that remained too hard to see. “Huh?” I thought. I kind of shrugged and figured that I would root it out once I was ready. But it has remained very hard to see. I only became aware of it once I had cleared away all but one small area of blocks, which is where this little devil is. Interestingly, I have become increasingly aware of it in a variety of new ways. It isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I think it doesn’t want me to know or think about it….and it seems try to be as hidden as possible. I have seen how healers, even people who know how to remove entities will miss these because they are so dug in. Something is happening though; something is clarifying more and more.

 
Right after I saw its dim red flash indicating it’s presence on my right side down in my hip, I saw another light come in from about my heart chakra that was unlike any other light I have seen before. Normally when I close my eyes and see the flash of light of someone either feeling me or checking in, it’s a single well defined burst of light. I see them as being like starlight. some are big, some are small, but they always appear like that as thought reaches thought. I have learned to know who each light is over the years. I have known three such lights like this well, and they are all very different. Sometimes I can figure out who looks like what by simply sending a thought in a person’s direction and seconds later I see their colored light burst into view. The color reveals their soul’s essential vibratory rate. It is a lot like reading an aura. To see them I need to be relaxed, in the dark, and usually lying down. And no, this is not the effect that happens when you go into a darkened room where phosphene in the eyes shoot off creating bursts of light. These are different and most often happen up to an hour after going to bed. Plus, the lights are consistent in that they are the same size and color when I am thinking of that person. It’s like a projection of their thought energy and I’m just getting the end if the thread as this little burst that tells me who it is.

 
This “new” light was very different, though. It was larger, and it looked like it was composed of many smaller lights. I had never seen that before, so I watched it as it dove down towards the red light. It had the effect of seeing a light through a window screen with your face close to the screen. It created this effect of a tight cluster of golden light which, as I watched it, also looked like a distant candelabra in a cold room. Candles lit in cold conditions often quiver and pulse instead of being languid in their movement. As I gazed on it I knew what this was!

 
It was a seraph. A seraph means “fiery one” and the Seraphim are an ancient form of angelic being that has been described in Judaic thought as beings who surround God in their wings.And you might wonder how I made that connection. Well, when I looked at the many lights the movement and light spoke to me. It told me directly what it was. It was a direct transmission of energy.

 
For those of you who have followed my writing, you might recall my encounter with a being who revealed himself to me after what seemed to have been a 20 year absence, and who explained that he was a Seraphim. During my awakening, he had become visible to me again. The flash of pulsating fiery gold light was my angelic guide and protector emerging into my field of awareness again. As long as I had a certain person in my life, I was completely unable to see or feel him. But with my field clearing, he has begun making appearances again. To be honest, he has explained to me that he is with me all the time, I am his charge; it is I who does not always have the ability to feel him even though he is ever-present.

 
I watched his light as he plunged deep into my field and winked out. And then nothing. Huh. I continued with the meditation and drifted into sleep. Sometimes these events take place and then, boom, nothing. What I find is some kind of work is taking place just out of my range of awareness. Sometimes it becomes clear days, weeks, or months later.
And then there was last night.

 
I plugged in my headphones to my player and eased under my down comforter. I could feel it’s weight on my body, pushing me gently down. With the binaural beats coming in, I moved quickly into a deep state. I felt really relaxed, and happy. I have been getting so much done on my house getting it spruced up. I just felt very satisfied. And within seconds I began to feel it; the house began to shake. “Holy shit!” I thought, “there’s an earthquake!!” I laid in bed for what felt was thirty seconds as I felt the whole house vibrating in a trending vibration! I laid there, still deeply relaxed, waiting for plaster to begin breaking free from the ceiling, but there was not even the slightest whiff of dust.
I studied the vibration as it happened and I noticed how incredibly regular the tremors were. “My God, these vibrations are so perfectly spaced!” I had this thought rise in my mind that, you know, I probably ought to get up and try to get outside because I didn’t need to have my life end right then and there! I mean, I have been doing this exercise that has released so much of my fear over death, a practice or technique where I have literally purged fear of death from my cellular memory, with the perhaps unfortunate effect that I don’t feel very alarmed when “bad” things happen like oh, say, an earthquake!
As I lay there my guidance pointed out, “It’s too regular to be an earthquake…you are having a body quake…” And the joke was on me this time because for as real as that earthquake felt, as I studied it I realized that the source of the vibration was coming within me!

 
Was my body shaking? Was this like those early experiences in awakening when my body felt like it was being rung like a giant bell that had these deep repeating vibrations that shot through my whole being?

 
So it seems that something is unfolding, but I begin teaching again tomorrow, so who knows if my work will pause any of this very interesting work taking place.
As I lay there thinking about this and whether having this shady person no longer in my life has been allowing the veils to lift in my awareness I hear his voice explain, “Even when it’s someone else’s deceit in them, you can take it into yourself as if it is your own….but it is poison to all who dare drink of it!”
Live and learn…live and learn.

P.S. I’m all ready for school tomorrow and it’s time to get to bed, so it’s clothes out of the dryer and my things together for the big day. I’ll put the headphones on again and see where it takes me tonight. Fingers crossed!

This Thanksgiving I spent time making new friends and working on developing a Youtube series with my friend and gifted intuitive Alison on her island home off the coast of California.

One thing is for certain; you never know what will happen when Ali is in the mix.  I mean this in the best of ways. It all winds up feeling so perfect.  So real.  And so it was near the end of my visit that some friends came over for dinner and as the dinner seemed to be winding down, one of our guests made mention about how she didn’t know so much about the spiritual, not that she was afraid, she just felt like she didn’t have a third eye.  One of the guests mentioned how she had done a series of past life regressions with Ali and how wonderfully healing it had been.  Before you knew it, we were in the living room wrapping this lady up in blankets as Ali guided her down into the depths for an encounter with a past self. Easy, but it’s easy when you have someone who has the gifts Ali has to help guide and nudge when its necessary.

One thing that has become clear to me and that came up when we were watching a video that same weekend of an interview with a woman who has done countless regressions was that doing regression therapy is not that hard.  Our memories are all there, but resting deeper down inside of us, a place where we most often do not go so we rarely, if ever, encounter them on a conscious level.  With a little guided imagery and some deep relaxation, those memories begin to bubble up to the surface of awareness.

And so it was with our guest who lay quiet and still, breathing deeply and following Ali’s lead.  After only a few minutes, an image formed of a woman in a doorway.  This woman was the woman in a previous lifetime, and she stood continually at a door, neither here or there.  It turned out that she had a self who was stuck between lifetimes.  Ali guided the woman to begin to approach the woman, and as she did, she felt like she could not move.  She couldn’t move because both aspects of who she was as the woman in the door and as herself now we’re BOTH stuck, or seemed to be. Seems she only needed to decide not to be stuck in order to not be. Then, as she continued to try to approach the woman, she saw a spot begin to appear, which was a portal off to one side which had begun to open as she tried to help this woman, to find out why she was there in this room in a house.  Over a period of minutes the woman in the doorway moved into the tunnel and was taken into the light.  Immediately the woman felt great relief and began to see the funerary arrangements, the meal and the home of the woman she had been.  She sat up saying she felt 100 lbs lighter!

This encounter was one that helps a person to become “unstuck” both as the person they were as well as the person they are today in their current life since some aspects of that feeling of being stuck often haunts them in their present life.  Being able to do this work frees a person up and helps them to move on.  This process is called soul retrieval.  Some years ago Ali helped me with an aspect of this in one of our many talks together.  It turned out that there was a part of me that had become stuck when I was about ten years old.  The process was much the same in the after effects of feeling suddenly clearer and more integrated.  It was experiences like this along with the removal of emotional blocks through the cleansing effect of strong pranic flow (kundalini) that has had such a significant impact on my life as an agent of transformation.

The experience also showed me that I had a natural healing ability that I have always sought to sideline or put on hold because I felt that I needed to be as healed as possible before working with other people in a healing modality.  With my hands on our guest’s head, I felt energy flowing through me in such an easy way.  I identified that this was the same sort of energy that we use as healers for helping to bring about the changes that are healing moments.  My role was simply as support, but it was curious to me to see how as the woman began to describe that her past self had gone through the tunnel that the flow of energy through my hands had begun to wane moments before she described what was taking place as she looked on at the event unfolding before her.  It was one indicator to me that had a way of coming up over the course of the visit.  

Soul retrieval is claiming what is yours, a part of you that may have seemed inaccessible before the process began. By returning you to yourself, it is like a short circuit in your cosmic wiring is fixed so that an easier and more complete flow takes place. When we retrieve those lost parts, we allow them also to heal whatever it was that had them feeling stuck. But since they are us, we attain something that they become. Past life regression lets  the self help unstick it’s other selves…and sometimes when we encounter angels in other lives, it is sometimes an aspect of ourselves moving outside the confines of time and space to help bring change.
Kundalini, or strong prana, has had this effect for those who awaken. If you are going through this, you know how it stirs, helps you to feel those stuck places and as if by magic, and heal them. There are many pathways or means of doing this type of integration work that leaves us feeling more whole. I think it can also aid you even when awakening is stirring you. 
Sometimes we can get stuck in awakening, I have seen it happen often enough, and past life work is most often where the “source” of those stuck places we feel in us now that often make so little sense (because they aren’t from this lifetime), helping to release us, freeing us to move forward in a slightly more improved version of us. The bigger the healing, the bigger the leap into the higher self.
People who have had this experience often exclaim how the irrational fear they had went away when they realized that it was coming from another lifetime, or that one reason they are so good at something is because they have been at it for a number of lifetimes. A botanist in one life, a farmer in another, both with a keen interest in how to help plants grow. A slip off a cliff in one life might mean a powerful fear of heights (that might just go away once the memory is fully recognized).  So what do you think is your super power? Your achilles heel? What if I told you that regression therapy could help you integrate both while being able to emphasize the super parts while getting over the Achilles part?  

As I have been writing this post, I noticed that Ali is embracing her talent for helping people with past life regression work more and more (funny how that works!). She has done hundreds of these journies over the years, and her method came to her naturally in her intuitive work as a way to resolve patterns that were snagging her clients over the years. But recently she has begun to do more of this type of work, and it’s prompting me to go ahead and publish this now so that if you want to explore this aspect of yourself, you can get in early. The great thing is, she helps to make it easy. When you work with an intuitive like Alison, its like having someone who is one step ahead, guiding you even as the waters might seem uncertain. Its a great way to do this work.

To learn more, contact Ali at avaloncmaiden@yahoo.com or speak with her at The Spa At Catalina at 310-510-9255 and let her know I sent you. 

Merry soulful journies!

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