Archives for posts with tag: ascension

Your energy body is a perfect reflection of the totality of the universal truths of existence. The seven major chakras represent seven major aspects that make up the seed of all creation. In you are seven major chakras which are like an octave, a totality. When you can clear these seven chakras of all of the shame and guilt and repressed emotions, you can begin to really know by direct experience what creation is because it has been seeded in you. This is the “divine spark” the Atman, the higher self. 

This “seed” has within it the power to know truth (crown chakra), see the truth(third eye chakra), speak the truth (throat chakra) love the truth (heart), be the truth (solar plexus), feel the truth (the sacral chakra) and create the truth (the root chakra). When these centers are clear, you no longer repress the truth but experience it cleanly. As long as you have repressed emotion in a part of the light body, so too will the truth be hidden from your direct experience. Clearing these centers is an act of clearing karma. You might think karma is tied to your actions, but I ask; what is the root of your actions? This is what clearing karma is, and it closely aligned to the concept of sin (which means anything that harms your soul). It clears away bad memories, bad knee-jerk behaviors that keep you in a cycle of pain and spreading that pain to others. It clears you so you know who you truly are beneath that mountain of dross. This is the true freedom, it is true peace. 

When you reach this place, you see clearly that anyone behaving in anything other than their highest is simply acting in accord with this mountain of things. And while we are human, and imperfect, we also can step into, and remain, in a fully integrated self that calls on all aspects of the self, including the super self. Yes, the world is imperfect, but to bring perfection it is incumbent on you to reach it first for yourself. This can only be done through a process of inner inquiry, observation, and radical self honesty. You have to want truth more than you want the mountain of things.

How you do this clearing work can be found on this blog by using the Search function with the keywords “clearing blocks.” There should be more than 30 posts that speak to the techniques that are most effective for doing this work. There are techniques for clearing this blocked or stored energy using TRE, movement, breathing, and eastern methods like Qi Gung, just to name a few.

One if the biggest blocks we have as a species is in our root chakras. Here, our ability to give and receive nurture exists. It is where our creative fire is initiated, whether for creating new life in the physical or for that next new idea or way to help create your day in a new way. Creativity is so much more than an artistic pursuit as it is a way of being and living.

We are all so tied up with root block, and it shows! It shows in how we have so little regard for creativity in our culture (save for technical pursuits). It also shows up glaringly in how we treat sex. It is pushed down, made dirty by taboo and “kinks” in our being. As a result, we never get to experience our creativity as the wildly powerful thing that it is. We regulate, control, and turn it down because we think it’s inappropriate to ooze with it, or let it fill our life with its vitality, wonder, bliss, and the awe it brings. It is our collective shame that most everyone here is faced with dissolving and letting go. It is our shame that literally attenuates or blocks our full experience with the divine within. The divine does not move with these kinds of shackles. 

Getting to the root is substantive work that when cleared makes the rest of the work easier, but it’s most often the last center to clear in people. Why? It is so foundational. It leads us to what we are: co-creators. Most don’t want that kind of responsibility, so we shirk it by saying our problems are because of our parents, our loved ones, our society and its institutions. But ask any co-creators and they will tell you, your misfortunes are all entirely self made. It’s because this is so hard to face that many don’t, preferring instead to blame an event in childhood as the cause. But it isnt the cause, it is a symptom.

I know this is hard to believe or trust us true, but if you apply this awareness to your life, you will progress much quicker and be much happier.

This is why it is only a symptom….

You chose your life and your parents. You chose them in order to set up events that would challenge you to both create and to heal. No true learning comes by way of a mental understanding of how bad something is that needs to be healed; you have to know this through every inch and atom of you. No exceptions. This is how the divine is; it is not a half measure of itself. It is a full measure. It only got to be that way by not falling for anything but the best of itself. It has made itself and it is unwavering in this. This is why when you try to heal and reach into the divine that you are that you can feel a lot of tension inside building up. You are dragging your mountain of things into it, and you can feel the chaos and tension and difficulty with just trying to remain in that superstate. Eventually, you are destined to “fall” from that grace over and over until you learn that you cannot enter your heaven with that baggage. When you awaken you can visit there for longer and longer periods, but your fall is all but promised when you still have work to do. Once you clear the baggage, you naturally and effortlessly are able to remain in this heavenly state with ease. And to be clear; this is a process, so most often, ease comes gradually, piece by piece as the blocks are removed. Its because they block you from something that you really are, deeper down. 

We get tricked into thinking that we are victims of our past or our upbringing as a way of not having to dispense with our brokenness. But the events in your early life are the result of a soul that exists prior to each lifetime. It is a glitch already in you that is creating how you are. No one makes you do or be anything. You choose just as you chose the conditions of your birth. You are here to clean it up. So instead of playing the victim, play the role of the responsible creator-in-training that you truly are. If you adopt this attitude, it will straighten all that is crooked in you. It will make you strong. It will make you more honest. Now be ready to work at it each and every day until it becomes a part of your thinking and feeling; this is true empowerment!

It is for some an inconvenient truth that there are two forces working to make prana and these two are described as yin and yang, the Shakti and Shiva. They are in Jungian psychology the anima and animus. In ancient Christianity they are the father and Holy Ghost (which was considered the feminine aspect before orthodoxy came and obfuscated it’s true meaning). What we are looking at are two forces in us that we experience as archetypes in our lives and our cultural and religious institutions, and eventually they merge into one in order to fuel both awakening and divine union. In awakening, we can experience them as the “lost” sides of ourselves, our twin (a karmic relationship in awakening) or as a side of God that allows us to experience ecstatic union with the divine. This is all there to help us learn not to feel shame about sexuality and spirituality existing together in an unbridled and free way. This happens when the self becomes less divided and more whole. 

Once free, dysfunction is healed. Sexual “kinks” go away, and a desire to use sex for control (men and women both do this in different ways) and what replaces it is nothing short of relief and freedom. Your creative energy expressed through all seven centers (the seed) is free to be.

To get there, though, requires diving deep into the matters of the root in order to acknowledge what’s bent, broken, and limiting you. You can’t feel the divine by doing this intellectually. You can’t do it by leaving any single part of you behind. You can’t know the divine until you ARE the divine, which has no compunction about sexuality or ecstacy as one channel of the seven major rivers of experience which leads us to that one great ocean. To be whole, the whole must ascend together bearing no more falsehoods about itself.

I realized that I was a tantric when I began recognizing that my sexuality had to come along and be okay with complete and total surrender and flow of all that I am. That means, no shame with sexuality. So I have worked on healing this shame and it has helped me to be more grounded, healthy, and happy. I am at ease with my riotous creativity. I also no longer hang out with people who don’t understand or value my creative fire and the vast abundance that lies bubbling up from deep within me. Whenever I have been able to dispense with people who are limited in their own hearts and minds, I tend to soar on skies that I know are my own. It isn’t that I study tantra or even practice sacred sexuality,  because the truth of tantra at its core is this idea I have been telling you about, which is being healed and more fully integrated so there are no divisions within who you are. You are free to feel all aspects of yourself as bliss and the love behind it that supports the universe.

 I promise that dissolving your deep-seated shame will also dissolve the appearance of divisions in the self.

This healing is a critical first step in the awakened experience. Nothing substantive can be done before you clear the dross within. Deprogram, cleanse, heal, and you will find the you you knew existed within you.

Yes, cleansing is a process. It might take years to go through all the levels, but by clearing them, it is rare to go back and reinstitute them. My experience is that some blocks go fast and easy but there are others that are deceptively hard. You can’t B.S. your way through this, you just have to be honest with yourself when you continue having a problem cropping up; you haven’t cleared it yet. Be patient, and be ready to continue doing the work. This is not a race. Give up your misgivings because you created them. 

The conditions of your life are only a symptom that comes from your own inner origin that you have come here to clean up. Once you do, the events and conditions that were in that old life will be gone forever. A more accurate set of conditions of events will prevail. If you espouse the value of “ascension” then this is the process that will get you there.

Until next time….

I am quietly undertaking a project of educating myself more broadly concerning early Christianity because of an experience I had during the early stages of my awakening. Already this effort is forming into a book. I think I have something to show that is important about Christianity that appears to have been lost. It is to my mind the greatest story never told. 

This story has roots in my early childhood when I had what I thought was a rather odd feeling about the church. I grew up in the church, and I had a deep inward conviction that something had been hidden at some point by it. This of course was a very strange thing to feel growing up. As a child I had no reason why I felt this way. It was almost as though I had known something, had seen something,  and woke up one day with amnesia and could not remember why I thought what I did…except that I did

I kept this feeling secret for years because it seemed so utterly random and a bit strange. It would make much more sense once I began to experience awakening though.

Growing up, I searched along the margins of Christian thought wondering if I might find something that would support why I felt the way I did about something having been hidden. I reasoned that if the church had hidden something, clues might likely exist along these margins, those areas which everyone says are forbidden, but can’t give you a good reasoned answer for beyond that this is what everyone else thinks. So not being a person who thinks that everything we believe is the gospel, I trudged along in life, drawn along by this thinnest of threads that refused to break under the strain of credulity that I put to it. 
I read the Apocrypha and bought the “lost books” of the Bible. Nothing ever rang any bells for me, however. Not until 2006 when I published a piece of writing to an online community that detailed an aspect of my earliest brushes with awakening, did I begin to make a series of discoveries that upended my understandings about God and Christianity. 

Someone I knew from that online community suggested I read the Coptic Gospel of Thomas because what I had written sounded very similar to passages in Thomas.  In my early seeking I had never come across Thomas. How had I missed it? The answer may have been due in part because the first published translations of Thomas were not available until the early ’70s, and it was slow in spreading into the mainstream. It would take years for scholars to study them, to begin making sense of how it fit into the Christian narrative. Somehow, I had completely missed Thomas and the other books that comprised what is known today as the Nag Hammadi Library (NHL).

When I read Thomas, my jaw hit the floor. Passages in my writing were nearly identical to those in Thomas. When I laid the two beside each other I saw that the content was eerily similar. How could this be? I was describing the essence of ecstatic union with a force that lives in all things, that expresses itself creatively, that renews itself using the creativity of the physical-sexuality-to realize a higher dimensional understanding of the divine which is also ecstatic and which mirrors the sexual experience but in a spiritual way without the flesh. The two were transformed in such an experience (spiritual and physical unions) when the true essence of the spirit was known. Thomas spoke of a left hand becoming the right, the left eye becoming the right eye, joined, as well as the outer joined to the inner as a way to know the kingdom. “No way!” I thought. I had written essentially the same passage without ever having read or known of Thomas before. Could I had stumbled onto something incredibly important, but hidden, that was terribly inconvenient to church dogma but that laid down a secret door into the holiest of experiences?

No one knew this because the keys to it had been hidden and locked tight behind the watchful eye of the religion that shunned all talk of union with God as having anything that could be coincident, or similar to, sex. So naturally no one ever went there. Isn’t sex dirty and not of God, after all? No, sure, at least they would point out that God had, after all, created sex. But the real story lay in every heart: it would damn you to hell if you ever thought of God in this way. And of course, this would mean the boys would all have to be gay, which is unthinkable! No, this was all because someone had left out the stuff native to us AND to God.
As my awakening continued to unfold, I went back to the NHL and continued to find books that spoke directly to my experience in awakening. The Gospel of Phillip was discovered and I saw in his words the very thing that I knew all those years but could not put it to word. Its implications were explosive, and I knew that given where the world was as a whole, there was no way it would hear the truth. It had been busy hiding it for close to two thousand years.

Before I found the NHL I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know that it was called awakening, I only knew something big was happening, “a horse of another color” was how I thought of it at the time. I was a blank slate. I was free to observe the unfolding of this energy in me without any presuppositions to color my observations. 

Sitting in meditation, I felt a dual force that was in the energy rising up through my body. This dual force felt like a positive and negative energy, but alive and aware if itself. As this energy merged in my body, bliss grew to incredible heights. It felt like the union of a man and a woman, and that was just what I called them. As I progressed through the experience, I could feel the creation of a third and distinct energy that seemed to arise from the energetic union of these two seeming opposites in my awareness. This third energy was transcendent and it filled my body and mind in such a way that I felt myself being changed, transformed. I called this energy “the child” because it came about through a merging of the two in blissful union (spiritually). I began to know things that I had no way to know when I learned how to let this third energy propagate itself in my very being.  If I put my mind to any area of interest my mind felt as though it was accessing some database or library of knowledge that existed everywhere. The state of my consciousness, through this third energy, was making this possible. To top it off, I was aware that I was learning about how the universe was composed at the atomic level, a great secret I thought, I was privy to, until I found that what I had seen was described quite well in a branch of physics called quantum mechanics. While I learned about quantum mechanics in college, the sum of my familiarity with it was encapsulated in the phrase having to do with how the act of observation changed the outcome of an event. That was all I really knew about it, that is, until my inner fireworks began to take form in me. My experiences were much more vivid and detailed than anything in a book because I didnt think it, I became it. I felt the forces that were serving to form the universe that we know, and it was all really quite wonderful. What I had seen took in large swaths of realization, and it would take reading up on Plank, Bohr, and Heisenberg in order to realize that I was on to the same things that had occupied them for years. This is not to boast, but to show the potential that exists for humans to make extraordinary leaps in realization. I wasn’t a physicist. Imagine if a physicist could see as I saw, what could we discover? 
I was experiencing the “secret” knowledge that is a part of the awakening experience. The so-called Gnostics or early Christians were describing it, and as I continued to research, the Hindus had also described this as a facet of awakening.

When I read the Gospel of Phillip I realized that the triadic nature of my experience was being described in the pages of his gospel. The language was clear and unambiguous: two were joined in the Bridal Chamber, and out of it came the Christ. So simple, but elegant. They were describing my experience! Further, they were revealing the masculine and feminine aspects of the divine. The father and the mother were joined together (mirroring how the experience of ecstatic spiritual union which has its closest counterpart as  physical sexual union). But unlike plain physical sex, this union took your whole being in an embrace with a power or energy that was at once sentient but vast, a kind of ladder that allowed one to “ascend” into higher and higher levels if realization of what this union is for us. Clearly this “God” had no qualms, guilt, or shame in expressing itself in this way with us. You could say I swallowed hard at that point as I realized the truth. I knew that most believers in Christianity would not take any of this kindly. It asked us each to dive right into all that we are, including our sexual nature’s, in order to know this experience. Christianity, though, was built on shame with original sin and a pretense about our souls and bodies needing to be chaste for God. How had we gotten it wrong, I wondered? Had someone mentioned chastity at some point and it’s context had been mistaken somehow? God as I knew it was taking me whole and was connecting into me at my most basic and intimate of levels.

The questions that arise from the disconnect between what I was experiencing and what Christianity had been teaching for two thousand years. These questions formed the basis of a search that has led me to examine early Christianity to perhaps understand how the greatest story never got told. 

As it stands, the NHL is described as Gnostic, which is a way to differentiate it from the canonical Gospels in terms of content. It is also a way to dispense with the teachings as somehow heretical or unacceptable. Certainly anyone owning and teaching Thomas in 500 AD would have been branded a heretic by the church. But what do scholars know about these books? What do we know about the history of the early church and how the Gospels were written? 

My search is revealing that there is a lot to support the idea that the sayings of Jesus were used by many different groups, all with very different agendas and grasps of the teachings. For some, the most central teachings for realizing union with the divine was left out, altered, either intentionally or simply due to ignorance. Over time many people contributed to the loss of the central message and this is where my book will show people how it most likely happened. I will be using the work of other imminent scholars as well as my own discovery to write a book that turns the responsibility for cleaving to authority to the individual. If anyone is going to know this great secret, the reader will have to put down the books with all of the authorities and begin by inquiring within. Just like the kingdom is in you, so too is the ultimate authority residing in you. Certainly this was not something the church was keen on having its followers realize.

But it’s time. And this is why I am writing this book. It is also why I am writing so much about it on the blog because earliest Christianity was about awakening to the divine that is in us. It has much to teach us if we will but listen.

 

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I started a project yesterday that has been nagging at me for years that involves my encounter with early Christian texts and what I have found was an effort to change the teachings of Jesus in order to appeal to a specific group of believers.  While I’d love nothing more than to have a real cloak and dagger story for the sake of excitement, what we have as historical documents is scant.  But the fix was in even during the life of Jesus in terms of who would tell the story of this man’s teachings and what that story was going to look like.  
I know I am going against 1600 years of ingrained belief and programming, but it is a story that deserves to be told.  Jesus was deep into the forces of awakening and taught about them, but either those in power wanted to hide them away, or they simply could not understand what a certain strand of his teachings even meant.  Having said this, those who had these deeper teachings were hunted relentlessly in an effort to not allow these most important of his teachings to see the light of day.  Whether by design or by ignorance, this was the result.  And this, I now know, is a fact.

 

For me, the story begins when I was young and had trouble with the church and its teachings.  For me, my trouble wasn’t as vague as some people’s problems with the church often tend to be.  In my experience, I had this very strange and unexplainable sense that the church had hidden something of great importance from the public. It is this hidden element within Christianity that made all the difference in knowing God intimately, directly. The only problem was I didn’t know why I had this sense growing up.  But like so many people I knew who were church goers or grew up in a family who went to church, something just didn’t add up. 
The story gets interesting when I began looking at early Christian documents that had not been a part of the canon of the church. I did this after a friend  saw a piece of my writing and suggested I look at a certain book because, as he explained, what I had written bore similarities to this early book.  
I was at this time going through a six month period that was for me, the time that I was waking up.  For me, it was a gradual process with a number of steps.  Clearly, I knew something was up and that I was somehow being prepared for something.  What it was, I didn’t really have a clue.  
When I first read those passages in a book that stretched back into antiquity two thousand years, I felt a familiar stirring inside of me and wanted to know more.  It would take going through a full awakening, though, for me to be able to pick out the passages that were clearly talking about awakening.  Scholars, though, described these passages as “strange teachings” and this showed clearly to me that even they didn’t understand what Jesus was getting at.  How could it be, I wondered, that I could see these for what they were and no one else could?  
In writings by a follower of Jesus, a church developed in the second century called the Valentinian church or school. They explained that only those who had attained the light would be able to understand the teachings.  Otherwise, they would seem like strange incomprehensible teachings.  Could it be, I wondered?  How could someone without a deep background in scholarly study of the Bible like me identify what they were talking about was related directly to awakening?  
Because of how the church and our world has evolved, we tend to look to learned authorities for confirmation about what is true or not true.  But these authorities are part of a system of being and thought that is part of the problem, which is of course the same problem that the early church had to begin with when they suppressed the teachings to begin with.

 

At the center of this story is a Wild spirit that if known, brings about revelation, self knowing, secret knowledge, and healing.  This is the story that should have been told.Now that the beginning work has been done, the rest is going to be more scholarly work with research and historical accounts.  Dry stuff for me, but the story is so compelling and so interesting that I think that it will turn into an interesting read once I am done with it.  Finger crossed!
This is ultimately a work of devotion in the hopes that it can help bring a paradigm shift in thinking by placing something wonderful and wild back in a central role in an understanding of the forces of awakening that are  redemptive in nature.

Reveal your Light

Awakening.  It brings so much.  For many, the first few years of an awakening can feel like you are running to just catch up.  Incredible things have happened, and continue to.  Some of it is hard, really hard, but understanding the hardness we feel is less the energy and our own inner states as something within us opens like a flower, the outer husk pulling away hesitantly at first, then more willingly as it dawns on you that THIS is how it was supposed to be…

It brings insight.  It brings healing.  It brings the light and can guide you to your own god-given gifts that seem to be coming at just the right time.  If nothing else, the light that you can shed in your own corner of the world can help to illuminate the shadow and help to scatter and transform the thinking that keeps us in shadow.  I will tell you that based on my own experience, there is no honor in keeping your own pain within.  There is no honor in shadow, just a necessity to clear it out so that you can be clear with what is.  And with it, the inevitability of the Light.  So let it shine in your life.  Awakening is going to clear you out, it’s going to, so make yourself available, and while you are at it, you can choose happiness instead of sorrow or pain or guilt or shame.

 

See, awakening makes you more aware, yes, and this is what makes it possible to clear hundreds and thousands of blocks, all that constitute programs or patterns of thinking that simply no longer work in the awakened state.  I wrote not long ago about how at a certain stage of my awakening I began to encounter a field of energy that I call the “Sea of Sorrow” and just yesterday an old friend from my college days talked about how she sunk into the collective sadness of the human race as she dredged all of the hard feelings and regrets, the election, patriarchy, all of it. And the thing is, its all true.  None of it is not on the mark.

 

We hurt.  We have hurt collectively for a very long time.  And just like my old friend from graduate school, when I felt this vast sea of sorrow open up to my mind and inner senses, it was so tangible, so real.  I wrote in my recent post about how I thought it was mine and that I needed to cleanse it, to purge it.  So I sank into it and would find myself in the deepest grief ever. Now mind you, I think that acknowledging your emotions is important.  You can’t ignore them.  But here is the difference for many people, and I was one of them; we think it is a thing that demands our attention.  Awakening tells a very different story.  It says to me that it is there, it is real, and it is up to you what you choose to focus on.  No one was coming to me telling me “Parker, this is a fools errand…come here, let me explain a few things to you…” No, that never happened.  In fact, this was a period when I had a whole slew of guardians and guides working with me during waking and in dream.  Freewill. They were letting me work through it because they knew I thought it was important. Maybe they knew how impermanent my belief in this would be, I don’t know.  I did find that this Sea was vast.  Oh my goodness!  It was almost without end.  I thought that by processing it, I could transmute it. I realized there was no way that I had all of this sorrow in me.  Not this life and not in the sum of my lifetimes.  No way.

 

So I realized that this was one of those resonant fields that we can often tap into in an accelerated state of consciousness (or be more aware that we are indeed tapping into it, feeding into it just like everyone else is), and that it belonged not just to me, but to all of us.  The sadness was so strong, the pull so powerful, I could have stayed there as it slowly ate away my heart and soul.  No, I realized that I could not do this alone.  I had to find a better way.  So I did.  I left and I did not look back. And you know what happened?  My awakening sped up.  It accelerated.  It clarified.  I clarified more and more.  I was and remain a work in progress, and I do not claim any absolute condition of grace or light or perfect joy.  But what I do know is that there is light in all of this.  There is joy to be had, and I have a choice. We all do.

 

When I read as a young boy the stories of how people had died and were brought back from death with amazing stories about their next step beyond this life, I realized I had found an important piece of the truth that could set us free here; a real honest to goodness avenue for seeing into the next realm beyond our physical lives here.  It had the power, I thought, of erasing our fear of death.  I have been interested in these things ever since because they served to show me what religions could not, what religion simply told me I had to believe if I was to get on spiritually.  Really? These stories were about the Light.  The light.  Over and over, this great light that suffuses every single person with a sense of peace and love.  Anyone who has gone there does not want to come back. Their return is a hard affair, taking on this body again, often ravaged by whatever had taken their life to begin with.

 

But the light remains.  This light changes people’s lives.  Those who have had NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) come back with a feeling of a mission. People who awaken likewise often have some form of an encounter with the light.  I know I did.  Brilliant, pure white, I saw in it the love I have for white my whole life.  This “whiteness” of the light was less about what we see with our eyes and what we feel in our souls.  This “whiteness” or “brightness” is a soulful energy that fills everything top to bottom.  It illuminates.  And yet, even so, it is not enough to feel it “over there” but instead, to work with this light in our lives HERE in order to work it all out.  The very act of entering into creation, into what so many call “illusion” is actually an incredibly powerful conjunction of spirit and the matter or form that it creates.  We come to work out every single thing we can.  The Light itself is not enough.  Its love is so total, its compassion to great that it does not ask anything of us nor does it judge.  It is just there, available for everyone.  But here, we become aware of the shadow and then as we do that, the Light comes chugging down the pike, filling us and healing what makes us less than that Light.

 

So, see, its important to know the shadow that still lies in you.  It’s important to go through your life being as honest as you can with yourself, and in turn, with others. And sometimes, that honesty is too much for others, yes, and you just do what you can and take care of yourself (because their lack of hearing it from you might well be something within you that remains a mirror for them).  We rise through greater and greater levels of honesty as we clarify.  But I can tell you, remaining in shadow, there is no benefit. The only benefit in resting in shadow is to cast your light into it to transmute it. Otherwise,  it only reinforces itself.

 

If the light is in you, it is constantly drilling down into your darker recesses and clearing away the knots and broken bits.  And so much of it?  It’s mostly how we choose to feel.  When we let go of that identification with our hurt and pain, oh baby, it just falls away.  But our reliance on our hurt and pain is absolutely and totally neurotic in us humans.  We humans turn our hurt into great shields which hide us from the inevitability of the light overturning all of it.  We hate it and love it all at the same time.  Have you ever heard someone talk about all their ills and hurts?  They go on and on and as you look at their face, with furrowed brow, you see that while they tell themselves and act like its something terrible, they really deep down are loving it.  They love to hate it.  But look at all of that attraction to it!  And look, I know; I have been there.  Parts of me still have their hitches, but enough of this has released from me to be able to see how so many of my releases were just there for me to tend to them, like a person picking at a scab.  Isn’t it just delicious?  Oh, look at how the blood will flow….isn’t it horrible?  And we can’t look away!

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Through all of this neurosis, awakening will come for even the smallest little knot in you.  Just open like that flower, and don’t worry.  The universe has your back.  It’s not out to get you.  Nothing does.  Not even entities.  Even those entities have been invited inside of you by you.  YOU.  Your hurt has attracted them because that is all these little creatures really know.  They aren’t advanced at all, but they are doing only what feels familiar to them.  We do the same on our own level.  We are attracted to people of a certain type or even wound.  And we play out the dramas until the cows come home.

 

Note:  the cows have come home, darling.  Its time to get over it.  Open the windows, let in the air, let in the light!

 

Let your light shine.  Let it.  Find what you are good at.  Find your passion.  Find your own love. If you do, you will find a new kind of calling, a better more efficient way of being.  The closer you are to your own soul-flow, the easier things are.  Synchronicities abound.  Its kind of magical, really.  Take care of yourself and learn to love yourself.  You wont be able to love anyone authentically unless you love yourself first.  Truly.  Seek your passion.  Find people who like to talk about the same things as you and find what you can learn from them. Sometimes its good, sometimes it can be a cautionary tale.  It will be a bit of both, most likely.

 

If you are in a soul connection, find out ways that you can help bring healing.  It might be hard to do at times, but it can offer healing if you can be honest about what lies beneath, this swell of shadow you know is your work, the karma you share, but realize, too, that together this can also strengthen the karma unless you are really invested in actively digging into that shadow between the two of you and letting it go.  And in the midst of this, find reasons to smile.  If you don’t feel happy, work on that.  Sit in meditation and try cracking a smile and see what happens to your body over time.  Bid the light to come even in the midst of shadow.  You might be surprised to find that a certain block that you know you have is now feeling differently just by how you look at it.  And what if you looked at it like it was nothing?  What if you considered that all of this is just a pattern…..and you have the ability to just wipe that pattern away like dust from a chalk board.  How long do you think it will take for you to forget what that pattern was that seemed so permanent a moment before?

 

If you feel shadow, what do you really think this shadow is?  Your own feelings of remorse, guilt, shame, or upset over how something happened eons ago that now you don’t hardly remember but you know it’s just there?  Let it be anonymous.  Let it anonymously fall away.  Say you are done.  Say you want relief from it.  You can ask for this.  You can.  It is allowed.  Spirit, if it seems to want anything, is for us to know who we are in our fullness and to see us filled with the light.

 

When you let your light shine, you will release a ripple of bliss field energy into your life.  You will feel comfortable, you will feel more at ease.  You will glow.  And people will notice.  Its was actually a really nice confirmation when this happened to me.  I had finally let it flow in me.  I was so jammed up….years of jammed-up energy!  Oh my goodness sakes.  My walk changed. I felt sexy.  I felt free.  I felt alive.  I had dropped all this shame.  I remember walking past people who hadn’t even seen me only to see them turn around and scan their visual field looking for something….and boom.  This happened so often, I learned to recognize it. I could feel it.  A soul was picking up on something that they wanted in themselves.  It is true.  Even the unawakened find this to be irresistible.  We all need it. We do.  But as long as we are jammed up in ourselves, we wont realize its really what we want to feel in ourselves.  We will think its the other person, or a hundred other things.  It is US.  Here.  And its everyone’s responsibility to find it for themselves.  And me?  I am just reminding you that it’s in you and that, yes, you can.  You just need to let go.  And then, you let go even deeper.  And once you do that, you keep let going and you keep doing this for years.  It’s hard to explain just how deep our tangle goes.  Even people who have gone through awakening for years have work to do.  And this is really one big reason for why we are here.

 

So let it shine.  Let it rip!  And awakening will untangle you.  Its sort of like autopilot.  Make yourself available in each moment.  A block can go as you step out of the car, or walk through the grocery store line or as you lay in meditation….okay, maybe only I lay in meditation, but it works.  All of this is an incredible renovation job, and it begins inside.

नमोस्कार (Namaste)

 

Its been five years to the day that I began writing on WordPress, and my how time flies! It is also a date that is very close (within days) to the day of the full rise of kundalini five years prior to my incept date on Waking The Infinite. No, that wasn’t planned, it’s just how it happened (the blog and awakening). Since then, it’s been my pleasure to share with you the many insights I have been blessed with in my journey, as it’s been my sincere desire that some of it may help you in your own journey by being aware of what is possible.
With there never being a dull moment, I will share with you something that took place last night that I have not experienced before that took me by surprise. But first, a little back story….
Recently I posted about how the use of binaural beats can aid in inducing deep brain states. I even included a link to one such video that has resulted in some rather startling results. The audio I have been using has been tuned into the brain wave range of Delta and Theta brain wave activity and has helped me to quickly enter those states while still awake. Let me know if you want a copy, I am happy to send you the links.

This is the post link:  https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/binaural-beats-self-improvement-through-technology/
I am doing this work to aid in the healing of the last remaining block in my body. As I have written before, these blocks can be places where entities can attach to feed on the lower vibrational energy that these blocks create (we are actually creating this energy in the block). But once the light body is healed, the attraction ceases, the moths go elsewhere, and the light body is returned to a more pristine state. Energy goes from intense to smooth. Emotions are less disrupted. I have been keen to root out this last presence and heal the wound.

 
In the last meditation with this a few weeks ago, I had inner light activity that I associate with other consciousnesses entering my field. I used to experience them whenever I would think about another person such as the one who I thought was my soul twin. She would have a consistent color to her light as she would wink in with a brilliant star-light flash signaling “hi!”

 
This time, though, as part of my awareness was out of my body looking down through my light body, I saw a red flash that flared deep down in the lower core of my body. Inner mind said calmly, “That was the entity.” As soon as that happened, I felt it move for the first time….ever. It’s an odd sensation, much like how it might feel when something moves on top of the blankets; there is no sense of feeling movement except by way of the vibrations it makes. It has a hollow indirectness to it that feels so….curious. I hadn’t felt that since 2008 when I released from my body several entities who had took up shop in my field since who knows when. I knew they had all gone, all but one that remained too hard to see. “Huh?” I thought. I kind of shrugged and figured that I would root it out once I was ready. But it has remained very hard to see. I only became aware of it once I had cleared away all but one small area of blocks, which is where this little devil is. Interestingly, I have become increasingly aware of it in a variety of new ways. It isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I think it doesn’t want me to know or think about it….and it seems try to be as hidden as possible. I have seen how healers, even people who know how to remove entities will miss these because they are so dug in. Something is happening though; something is clarifying more and more.

 
Right after I saw its dim red flash indicating it’s presence on my right side down in my hip, I saw another light come in from about my heart chakra that was unlike any other light I have seen before. Normally when I close my eyes and see the flash of light of someone either feeling me or checking in, it’s a single well defined burst of light. I see them as being like starlight. some are big, some are small, but they always appear like that as thought reaches thought. I have learned to know who each light is over the years. I have known three such lights like this well, and they are all very different. Sometimes I can figure out who looks like what by simply sending a thought in a person’s direction and seconds later I see their colored light burst into view. The color reveals their soul’s essential vibratory rate. It is a lot like reading an aura. To see them I need to be relaxed, in the dark, and usually lying down. And no, this is not the effect that happens when you go into a darkened room where phosphene in the eyes shoot off creating bursts of light. These are different and most often happen up to an hour after going to bed. Plus, the lights are consistent in that they are the same size and color when I am thinking of that person. It’s like a projection of their thought energy and I’m just getting the end if the thread as this little burst that tells me who it is.

 
This “new” light was very different, though. It was larger, and it looked like it was composed of many smaller lights. I had never seen that before, so I watched it as it dove down towards the red light. It had the effect of seeing a light through a window screen with your face close to the screen. It created this effect of a tight cluster of golden light which, as I watched it, also looked like a distant candelabra in a cold room. Candles lit in cold conditions often quiver and pulse instead of being languid in their movement. As I gazed on it I knew what this was!

 
It was a seraph. A seraph means “fiery one” and the Seraphim are an ancient form of angelic being that has been described in Judaic thought as beings who surround God in their wings.And you might wonder how I made that connection. Well, when I looked at the many lights the movement and light spoke to me. It told me directly what it was. It was a direct transmission of energy.

 
For those of you who have followed my writing, you might recall my encounter with a being who revealed himself to me after what seemed to have been a 20 year absence, and who explained that he was a Seraphim. During my awakening, he had become visible to me again. The flash of pulsating fiery gold light was my angelic guide and protector emerging into my field of awareness again. As long as I had a certain person in my life, I was completely unable to see or feel him. But with my field clearing, he has begun making appearances again. To be honest, he has explained to me that he is with me all the time, I am his charge; it is I who does not always have the ability to feel him even though he is ever-present.

 
I watched his light as he plunged deep into my field and winked out. And then nothing. Huh. I continued with the meditation and drifted into sleep. Sometimes these events take place and then, boom, nothing. What I find is some kind of work is taking place just out of my range of awareness. Sometimes it becomes clear days, weeks, or months later.
And then there was last night.

 
I plugged in my headphones to my player and eased under my down comforter. I could feel it’s weight on my body, pushing me gently down. With the binaural beats coming in, I moved quickly into a deep state. I felt really relaxed, and happy. I have been getting so much done on my house getting it spruced up. I just felt very satisfied. And within seconds I began to feel it; the house began to shake. “Holy shit!” I thought, “there’s an earthquake!!” I laid in bed for what felt was thirty seconds as I felt the whole house vibrating in a trending vibration! I laid there, still deeply relaxed, waiting for plaster to begin breaking free from the ceiling, but there was not even the slightest whiff of dust.
I studied the vibration as it happened and I noticed how incredibly regular the tremors were. “My God, these vibrations are so perfectly spaced!” I had this thought rise in my mind that, you know, I probably ought to get up and try to get outside because I didn’t need to have my life end right then and there! I mean, I have been doing this exercise that has released so much of my fear over death, a practice or technique where I have literally purged fear of death from my cellular memory, with the perhaps unfortunate effect that I don’t feel very alarmed when “bad” things happen like oh, say, an earthquake!
As I lay there my guidance pointed out, “It’s too regular to be an earthquake…you are having a body quake…” And the joke was on me this time because for as real as that earthquake felt, as I studied it I realized that the source of the vibration was coming within me!

 
Was my body shaking? Was this like those early experiences in awakening when my body felt like it was being rung like a giant bell that had these deep repeating vibrations that shot through my whole being?

 
So it seems that something is unfolding, but I begin teaching again tomorrow, so who knows if my work will pause any of this very interesting work taking place.
As I lay there thinking about this and whether having this shady person no longer in my life has been allowing the veils to lift in my awareness I hear his voice explain, “Even when it’s someone else’s deceit in them, you can take it into yourself as if it is your own….but it is poison to all who dare drink of it!”
Live and learn…live and learn.

P.S. I’m all ready for school tomorrow and it’s time to get to bed, so it’s clothes out of the dryer and my things together for the big day. I’ll put the headphones on again and see where it takes me tonight. Fingers crossed!

This Thanksgiving I spent time making new friends and working on developing a Youtube series with my friend and gifted intuitive Alison on her island home off the coast of California.

One thing is for certain; you never know what will happen when Ali is in the mix.  I mean this in the best of ways. It all winds up feeling so perfect.  So real.  And so it was near the end of my visit that some friends came over for dinner and as the dinner seemed to be winding down, one of our guests made mention about how she didn’t know so much about the spiritual, not that she was afraid, she just felt like she didn’t have a third eye.  One of the guests mentioned how she had done a series of past life regressions with Ali and how wonderfully healing it had been.  Before you knew it, we were in the living room wrapping this lady up in blankets as Ali guided her down into the depths for an encounter with a past self. Easy, but it’s easy when you have someone who has the gifts Ali has to help guide and nudge when its necessary.

One thing that has become clear to me and that came up when we were watching a video that same weekend of an interview with a woman who has done countless regressions was that doing regression therapy is not that hard.  Our memories are all there, but resting deeper down inside of us, a place where we most often do not go so we rarely, if ever, encounter them on a conscious level.  With a little guided imagery and some deep relaxation, those memories begin to bubble up to the surface of awareness.

And so it was with our guest who lay quiet and still, breathing deeply and following Ali’s lead.  After only a few minutes, an image formed of a woman in a doorway.  This woman was the woman in a previous lifetime, and she stood continually at a door, neither here or there.  It turned out that she had a self who was stuck between lifetimes.  Ali guided the woman to begin to approach the woman, and as she did, she felt like she could not move.  She couldn’t move because both aspects of who she was as the woman in the door and as herself now we’re BOTH stuck, or seemed to be. Seems she only needed to decide not to be stuck in order to not be. Then, as she continued to try to approach the woman, she saw a spot begin to appear, which was a portal off to one side which had begun to open as she tried to help this woman, to find out why she was there in this room in a house.  Over a period of minutes the woman in the doorway moved into the tunnel and was taken into the light.  Immediately the woman felt great relief and began to see the funerary arrangements, the meal and the home of the woman she had been.  She sat up saying she felt 100 lbs lighter!

This encounter was one that helps a person to become “unstuck” both as the person they were as well as the person they are today in their current life since some aspects of that feeling of being stuck often haunts them in their present life.  Being able to do this work frees a person up and helps them to move on.  This process is called soul retrieval.  Some years ago Ali helped me with an aspect of this in one of our many talks together.  It turned out that there was a part of me that had become stuck when I was about ten years old.  The process was much the same in the after effects of feeling suddenly clearer and more integrated.  It was experiences like this along with the removal of emotional blocks through the cleansing effect of strong pranic flow (kundalini) that has had such a significant impact on my life as an agent of transformation.

The experience also showed me that I had a natural healing ability that I have always sought to sideline or put on hold because I felt that I needed to be as healed as possible before working with other people in a healing modality.  With my hands on our guest’s head, I felt energy flowing through me in such an easy way.  I identified that this was the same sort of energy that we use as healers for helping to bring about the changes that are healing moments.  My role was simply as support, but it was curious to me to see how as the woman began to describe that her past self had gone through the tunnel that the flow of energy through my hands had begun to wane moments before she described what was taking place as she looked on at the event unfolding before her.  It was one indicator to me that had a way of coming up over the course of the visit.  

Soul retrieval is claiming what is yours, a part of you that may have seemed inaccessible before the process began. By returning you to yourself, it is like a short circuit in your cosmic wiring is fixed so that an easier and more complete flow takes place. When we retrieve those lost parts, we allow them also to heal whatever it was that had them feeling stuck. But since they are us, we attain something that they become. Past life regression lets  the self help unstick it’s other selves…and sometimes when we encounter angels in other lives, it is sometimes an aspect of ourselves moving outside the confines of time and space to help bring change.
Kundalini, or strong prana, has had this effect for those who awaken. If you are going through this, you know how it stirs, helps you to feel those stuck places and as if by magic, and heal them. There are many pathways or means of doing this type of integration work that leaves us feeling more whole. I think it can also aid you even when awakening is stirring you. 
Sometimes we can get stuck in awakening, I have seen it happen often enough, and past life work is most often where the “source” of those stuck places we feel in us now that often make so little sense (because they aren’t from this lifetime), helping to release us, freeing us to move forward in a slightly more improved version of us. The bigger the healing, the bigger the leap into the higher self.
People who have had this experience often exclaim how the irrational fear they had went away when they realized that it was coming from another lifetime, or that one reason they are so good at something is because they have been at it for a number of lifetimes. A botanist in one life, a farmer in another, both with a keen interest in how to help plants grow. A slip off a cliff in one life might mean a powerful fear of heights (that might just go away once the memory is fully recognized).  So what do you think is your super power? Your achilles heel? What if I told you that regression therapy could help you integrate both while being able to emphasize the super parts while getting over the Achilles part?  

As I have been writing this post, I noticed that Ali is embracing her talent for helping people with past life regression work more and more (funny how that works!). She has done hundreds of these journies over the years, and her method came to her naturally in her intuitive work as a way to resolve patterns that were snagging her clients over the years. But recently she has begun to do more of this type of work, and it’s prompting me to go ahead and publish this now so that if you want to explore this aspect of yourself, you can get in early. The great thing is, she helps to make it easy. When you work with an intuitive like Alison, its like having someone who is one step ahead, guiding you even as the waters might seem uncertain. Its a great way to do this work.

To learn more, contact Ali at avaloncmaiden@yahoo.com or speak with her at The Spa At Catalina at 310-510-9255 and let her know I sent you. 

Merry soulful journies!

Cernunnos

I began hearing about this condition called Kundalini Syndrome a number of years ago, and its a curious thing.  I think there is a problem with it.  A biggie.  And its really all about perception and reaction.  I say this as someone who has had his butt kicked by kundalini but remained in the game and bid it to rise higher because I knew it was the source of my inner transformation: “Come and get me….yes I am scared to death of you, but I also know you are my salvation….I KNOW it….so come and get me, kundalini!”  And it would.  In spades.  I made it through ego death (a term I DO NOT like btw) and the release of thousands of things.  I made it and so can you.  I am still me.  I did not die.  I was turned into a better version of me.  Sure enough.  And if you are going through the harder stage of awakening, sit down and bear up with this reminder I have for you….

 

Most everyone who has endured the “fires” of kundalini, and while its been a challenge, it has made those going through it better people in the end.  The human race is absolutely neurotic and covered-over in sickness….did you think you were somehow immune to this?  Oh please, spare me.  EVERYONE here is here because…well…..neurosis.  And this is a great place to rid yourself of it.  

Maybe that kind of honesty doesn’t sit well with you.  I am sorry.  What do you want?  Sugar-coated BS?  There is so much on the other side of all of this that is waiting for you and it is fabulous.  Cosmic.  Your mind, blooming.  Your creativity, exploding.  Insight, expansive.

The people who who write about kundalini syndrome as a thing treat it as though it is a dysfunction, as though Kundalini is something that is not a good thing.  On the El Collie site, for example, the description of kundalini syndrome is the same as the symptoms of kundalini itself.  So here we are with a condition that is natural, albeit rare, that is healing people by untangling years of psychotic behavior and the force that is driving it is seen as a bad thing.  A dysfunction.  An “emergency” rather than “emergence.”  If El Collie suffered through this for years, maybe it was because of her own inner resistance, not because kundalini was a bad thing in and of itself.  When I look at my life up to awakening, I have to say I was on the way to it.  It was a logical next step for me.  In fact, what triggered my awakening was partly due to my asking, “Is this all there is?”  I knew that it wasn’t.  Even as I was surprised by kundalini, I must say that it has been a constant answering to the larger ontological questions we all tend to ask ourselves and ask of the universe: is this all there is?  What is my purpose?  What is the meaning of life?  Without so much as needing a belief or religion, you can feel the vibrant force of this filling you and “telling” you of the purpose that all existence has beyond mere time and space.  If you know how to do it, it can take you to those places and show you how you have been here many times and that all of this birthing and dying, its part of a larger story….an infinite story….an amazing story that you can access in all-time.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

One thing that other sites mention is how using chakra clearing as a path to awakening is not advised.  It has been noted that it can lead to psychotic behavior.  I found this very interesting because someone I knew personally who used this method to awaken exhibited a whole range of psychosis (although I suspect these were already present for years previously).  So yes on chakra clearing exercises and psychosis. But understand the mechanics behind it and perhaps use this to understand it a little better: it causes problems because it is so effective a method for clearing blocked inner material. This is precisely what awakening does. The takeaway here that I hope you appreciate is that it moves you very quickly, perhaps too quickly, out of your comfort zone. And I ask you, what is your comfort zone? Is it perhaps a vast backlog of notions and beliefs about yourself and the world that have served to limit your awareness of who you are? The psychosis only comes from our own built-in resistance from the change that is upon us. Having said this, I do feel compassion with the uncertainty that can be felt in the early stages of awakening. I was there, at least initially, and I do have to remind myself daily that whatever resistance that I feel, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, is showing me the walls I have still yet to remove in order that I can return to my own state of origin. 

Kundalini is a bit of a one-way street.  It does not care whether you want off the bus.  It does not care about your excuses.  Nor your seemingly fragile state.  It will do what it must to return you to clear-eyed honesty about yourself.  No more bullshit. And the path to this is direct and its through radical self-honesty.  Lie to yourself or others, and this force will kick your butt…..not as a punishment, but because you are now operating in a higher vibrational frequency and anything that does not align will be extremely difficult for you to continue with. The old way of being simply does not work.  Heal.  Open.  Surrender.  These are the words of the day.  No longer does the mask of your previous life work.  The moment of reckoning has come, so there you go. It is best to learn to be the water flowing in the river bed because this is kundalini.  
Be like water, my friend.  In each moment when you feel resistance, just let go; kundalini is trying to teach you something.  You don’t even need to know what it is trying to get you to let go because wherever you feel the resistance will continue until you locate it and release it.  Only the psychotic would hold onto the misalignment and enjoy the pain, right?  That was what you once were, it is what you can no longer handle anymore, am I right?

 

So kundalini psychosis is simply resistance to the kundalini.  Sorry, but you can’t put the genie back into the bottle.  Go ahead and write the story.  Follow the path and let yourself be changed.  Apparently at some deep level your soul is needing this even if your ego is fighting it.  What lies on the other side of this is a bliss so wonderful it will leave you red-faced….

 

I’m sorry, but I feel that life is as you choose to see it.  And this way of seeing kundalini is a sure-fire way to invite suffering.  Why do that?  Kundalini is not something you can bargain with.  If you let go, you will get better.  I promise.  Everyone is letting go of the river’s bank.  We are all letting go.  We are letting that rushing river take us.  Sure, it might be the unknown that scares you, but conquering fear is a pretty big thing, isn’t it?  I mean, do you really think you will lose anything that you don’t already need? The syndrome and the emergency exists in how you are looking at it, reacting to it.  What seems to you like a 600 lb gorilla will turn into a brilliant and wonderful presence that is pure blessing.  This will take some time, so a little trust is in order.

It is asking you to believe in a power larger than you, and that includes you.  It is asking you to see this in a bigger kind of way.  We are way more than just this.  C’mon.  Just let go of that river bank.  Do you think you will sink, that you will drown?  Do you really?
This is asking you to reach across a gulf, a cognitive gap, to discover something more that you are…something you have always been. It is a step into the light, the truth, and out of the error that has left us limited in the past. The power that this has is located in being present. The less you fall for the past, the closer you are to the present and more capable of moving in a positive way into the future. Awakening is calling each of us to know who we are.

Note:  The art of entity removal was known by the ancients and aboriginal peoples as an important step towards an integrated and healthy self. It is also important in the midst of an awakening, which is currently happening on our planet to people at a blistering pace now.  Awakening, my dear reader, is just the beginning…

While the methods are shrouded in mystery, the truth is, it  isn’t hard to do.  Having said this, though, I will also say that those who remove them do  need a few prerequisites that are in our day not learned.  Huh?  I know that may not have made any sense to you.  Especially those of you who think that this stuff is, like, in a book (chortle). These abilities are assumed, they come about as part and parcel of a certain level of awareness, and this awareness is not in ordinary consciousness.  This is what makes the issue of entity removal seem so mysterious and hush hush.  Once you reach the requisite level, you not only begin to be aware of them, but you have something within you that can remove them.  This is a shift in consciousness, and it is the very character, the pitch and quality of the energy that is the very force that makes the removal possible.  I know this because it happened to me, and I am a careful observer and because I could pass this awareness on to you.  I am here to report a little about it here in this post….not so much how to remove entities (because you have to be careful in this work) but what the advantages are to their removal.

 


 

It just continues to rear its ugly head…the reality of entities enmeshed in human fields.

Look, if you want to make your awakening easier, what is popularly called “ascension” then getting a grip on these beings is job one.
It isn’t difficult if you do it right. It can be very simple.

If you go about it the wrong way, without awareness, then you can cause yourself a lot of trouble. I was there and removed an entity from someone early in awakening. Yes, totally successful, but I was unaware of just how extensive the world of these lower-level beings were. I didn’t even know I was dealing with kundalini at the time, I just thought that I was picking up on another person’s entity because I was there to remove it. I did, but I also was early into the process and was attracting a lot of these things at the time. It resulted in what I can only describe as a kind of boiling point where a guide had to help me clear my field.  Buyer beware.  After this experience, I decided that I would not presume to remove any entity from anyone because, as I later learned, this is a process that is possible with the person who has them.  It serves as an important step in their development.  When the healer is removing them, the person being healed is acting as healer. Often, people need to have the right trigger to get them into the Dream.  This dream is the spell of belief.  It is just how it works.  Human beings are not fully aware yet of their capacities in the healing department, so dream or belief becomes a very effective trigger.  No?  Ask any healer is they really are the healer, or whether they serve as a catalyst for the person to find the healing within them?  Jesus said “Your faith made you whole” when a man felt he had been healed by Jesus.

It is true that without entity removal, you continue through awakening with influences that continue to cause you all sorts of problems.

Most entities attach to humans based on the emotions out of which they were created. These beings, I have observed, are often personality fragments that have been propelled from people through periods of change and even healing moments. Sometimes, instead of a person integrating a part of itself, it is cleaved away. If this happens with a part of itself that is “large” enough, a fragment results, an autonomous form of consciousness that can be both attracted and repelled by its creator. It goes it’s own way and is drawn to emotions in others that are like itself. It thus finds a home, a place that feels familiar to them. And really, this is the nature of all of life, which is the creation of these alliances. Your body is made up of trillions of such alliances called cells. They each have their own awareness and work for the good of the whole. That’s one end of the spectrum. The other end are less helpful as alliances with bacteria that can make you sick, or viruses. And still, many bacteria are also beneficial. They are drawn by a favorable environment. The same is true for entities of every sort.

Entities can follow a person through multiple lifetimes. I know that when I observed these entities etherically that it’s host has described the entity in precisely the same way that I saw them. This was made possible by the quantum leap in my perception as a result of awakening.

I have seen these entities come forward in people when they get angry, or feel jealous, afraid, or any number of emotions. We often think of them as feeding and think of them as parasites. What I have seen, though, is that these things are there because of something not yet healed in the individual. Many many people in the midst of awakening carry these for years and never realize how they are holding them back. Most are aware that they are there, but they do not appear to know what to do about them. What I notice is that most people don’t actually want them gone. It’s much easier to remain in the drama than to find an important level of peace in awakening. Our neurosis does not get solved immediately when awakening comes. But it’s more possible to remove these entities than ever once the “light” comes.

The early Christians, beginning with Jesus, were on to this issue in a big way. In a lesser-known series of books discovered in 1945 we have found in them Jesus teaching his followers about them. In the better-known books in the King James Version, there are numerous accounts of Jesus casting out these “unclean” spirits.
The Nag Hammad codices to which I refer takes awareness of them to a whole other level. The entities Jesus speaks of are more advanced than many lower-formed entities. These beings try to pass themselves off as deities. These beings may well have re-entered our collective story by appearing as a class of E.T’S. They just seem this way, however.
The curious thing is the high number of people who have ET experiences as part of awakening.
My sense has been that some contacts are indeed interdimensional beings simply interested in what’s happening here while others may be creating a false or illusory reality for abductees in precisely the same fashion as the Gnostic texts illustrated thousands of years ago. The short answer is some are real and some are not as they seem. To make it all more curious is how these beings can change appearance as we ourselves change—sometimes very significantly so.Since the ET issue comes up so often in awakening, it’s worth giving it at least a passing glance.

Some people have told me that their entities are guides, protectors, and  power animals. In some of these instances, I was able to see these beings and what they were doing with their host was not what anyone could describe as protective or guiding in anything less than self interest. And it is their own self interest that is the problem.

In one case, with someone I knew, I came under a kind of attack by a being when my awareness began to accelerate and unfold, revealing to me how this entity was connected to me, but also that it was connected to a series of people, and this was a very old and string entity. It appeared to me like a large reptile or dragon-like being. This being was later described in the same way by this person that I had seen it through my inner vision. This being was working through people in the spiritual community who counselled others on awakening and who do healing work as well. When you clear the decks of these influences, it creates a situation where the soul enters into a healing moment unencumbered by outside influences. The greatest healer amongst the Native American groups was always the most healed of the people. This renders a person more neutral, a must for effective healing. Instead, most often, we have unhealed healers…

What do you think you get as a result?

Clearing the decks of these beings is a critical early step in the healing process.

When you do, the issues that these beings help to reinforce goes away. Healing accelerates. These beings can hold up healing of blocks that represent karma because of the aspects of us that they are drawn to.
After my first removal from my friend, I decided that I would never remove them again until I was free from the beings that were connected to me. When I had the beings removed from me, it was done through a very simple act of awareness. A healer suggested that very soon, I might begin to be aware of these influences. Moments later, my visual field opened up to see my energy field and saw a series of three beings that had been present. They fled like birds being shooed out of an attic space. Easy. Simple.
What did it was simple awareness. No mantras, no special rituals necessary. I think that we only make all of this more complicated than it needs to be. Do you want them gone? Are you ready to heal? If the answer is yes, it will happen.

The Illusion Of Protection




Until you remove the blocks within you, you remain susceptible to outside forces. No amount of protection will work because the law of attraction is based on similar energies attracting one another. An entity can enter and be drawn by one small issue within. You can resist a being, but it’s only a matter of time before it returns or is replaced by something very similar.
So search yourself. If you feel as though there is an outside influence acting on you, the simplest way to know more is to observe what it does. If it’s an entity that feeds on anger, then you know exactly where your wound is. If it’s an entity feeding on your sexual energy, then you have a clear view into your own unhealed state. Clean that up and the entity falls away. There is simply no vibration to hold onto by the entity. Your own vibration changes so that the entity cannot see or detect you because the vibration that was the same in the entity is gone.

It really is that simple. Don’t get tripped up by an entity, just deal with you and the rest will take care of itself. Most often, in a negative way, people become fascinated by the beings that are causing them grief or trouble. Search yourself: is some part of you unfinished on a given issue surrounding an entity issue? When you are ready, it simply goes. It’s just that simple.

Occasionally I read on my feed on WordPress about the subject of ascension, and I have to say that there are a lot of imaginative people trying to figure out this new “ism” that really isn’t an ism….but sure feels like it, and how they think it works. 

It’s the new big idea about which much is said but so little is known. 5-D densities?  Motherships hovering in the astral?  You can find it all here under the great tent of ascended masters. When it comes to an unknown, we often like to fill that void with something, anything that feels right to us…. even if it’s sheer fantasy. 

It’s the new religion that does not involve much knowledge, experience, or need for questioning. But it sure sounds good. And in our world substance is easily sidelined by the fantastical. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the guy who thinks all this talk about the false self, illusion, & ego death is a bunch of poorly understood sophisms that never seems to get high enough on anyone’s radar for them to be able to examine it enough to really see just how flawed it all is. 
Yes to intuition and yes to feeling around for it, but testing the ideas and making observations to vet the theory or idea is kind of important. So if it’s extra dimensional beings, get a group of people to separately remote view them and see if your notes agree. Otherwise we all look like New Age quacks, loons, and kooks. 

I have spent years writing down my own visionistic experiences, and when I find that my words are being echoed by, say, scriptures or hymns in the Vedas that I had never read before, or find that my observations on the methods for shedding trauma from the light body is beginning to be mirrored in physical therapeutic practices by doctors and therapists, then I know I am on to something. Possibly.

The reality is that I think we can and are anything we want to be, and the illusions that we create in our lives are all entirely real (but only in a limited fashion). But I also know that we have chosen certain focuses in reality through countless creations/lives.
These created illusions though are lesser-made constructions that are easily swept away while the enduring light of the Great Mystery, the Tao, remains. It is the difference between the art made by a tenth grader and a graduate student: both are lovely and wonderful, but one is more insightful, mature, and even aware.
Yes, I see that all that we do here is entirely creative, but some creations simply fit divine alignment better and will be slow to be swept aside. We are all learning how to handle energy properly in all of its manifestations….from physical manipulation in our environment, to using thought, emotion, and higher order energy for all manner of things to bring each the fulfillment we each seek.

I feel anything is possible and higher order consciousness is here watching us, which includes sentient remote viewers from other worlds both physical and non. 
But this talk of ascension is like pretending we know what’s on the other side of the bridge while we have yet to walk to its other side….the truth is that what lies there is not so much a different world, but a different mind set, which has everything to do with perception. 

The path to the other side is by way of radical self honesty. It leads to a simpler life and a simpler way to be, even as awareness expands to bring in vast storehouses of knowing and experience. It remains startlingly….simple.

It’s as though we are still hung up on the proto-Christian myth of Christ’s Ascension, still thinking that the event was about his lifting up into the clouds where he will return someday. It’s a lovely bit of myth, this story, which took a very real reality and turned it so it became a fairy tale, which most have swallowed wholesale and regurgitate simply because and they then never dig deeper into their souls to grasp what the Ascension was really all about. 

Christ’s ascension was in truth a lifetime of diligent work done to free himself of the hitches that trouble most people who slumber and are trapped in the only world they know; a sensory realm that speaks only of the impermanence of the world and the suffering it seems to cause. There was no event, no moment, when it all happened. So to say  that the planet will enter 5-D vibration misses the point: there is no event to be had because we are already there in some aspect of ourselves. Christ entered a state where his infinite soul already existed in all time. If you read the stories the church tried to marginalize through claiming they were heretical, you get to see him talking to followers about this. He even says how hard it was even for him to reach it!

We are here to know ourselves. This focus shows and offers us a unique opportunity to merge or marry flesh with soul to create a new synthesis of being. When this begins to happen, you can quickly see that body was made for soul and soul in this focus is the body. The body is a perfect vehicle for challenging and then overcoming our shame about ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality,our identities as fleshy creatures, right along with desires, which many believe are the source of suffering. I could love that our world would become a paradise but my visits in the future show me that it probably isn’t possible. I remain aware, though, that there may be dimensional levels to our experience which enables us to access other probabilities, but I’m busy working on that one can and will not be writing about a theory until I observe facts that appear to support such a notiin or theory.
This place is like high school. There are too many underclassmen coming in who are still wet around the collar, continuously diluting the tide of sensitive insight with ignorance.

That’s because that’s what we do here. We learn to be. But this idea that Ascension is going to somehow do it for us is insane, really. I know someone who I was close to who writes fiction foisted as fact right here on WordPress and this is someone who has awakened. I have counted more deliberate lies in her writing than you could believe. Lies so bad that were she to add a name to them, they would be actionable in a court of law. So ascension? If that is how ascension looks to you, you can keep it.

I will be my typical heyoka self and point out that the hell of one desire contains the opposite within it, which is deliverance through cleansing desire of its shadow so that it rises clean and free, unable to “go” into the suffering that most desire seems to create or cause. Ignoble desire will always crash into hell while it’s opposite will lift you into heaven. And it is here that true ascension works. But it works because we have accepted the muck out of which the great lotus blooms like the yoni that opens to her lover, the penetrating light, twin forces that are never truly seperated in anyone, but appear to divide just so we can learn how to be creators who know how to handle higher order energies more effectively. To do this means you trample all shame. To do this, you must be honest. But out of this noble honesty grows awareness that begins to transcend or opens us to still larger realms. This is what I mean when I say we are more than just this one flesh. 
Such an awareness bears knowing of all other selves. 

The Jenanni is one who knows that they have been ruler, slave, rich, poor, sane, and crazy. This self attains this awareness not by denouncing the flesh but allowing it to serve to no longer be a problem….so it isn’t.

Just don’t think you are here to go beyond body. Here you can go beyond body because it’s part of what you are, but you are many other things too. Once the Great Work is engaged, these worlds open up not as seperate, but concurrent with your own. It is simply another focus. Your light body can show you these worlds through the parts of you that are made to see more than this one focus.

Blood, sweat, shit, and the gold, all exist side by side because it’s there as the raw material of transformation. To know the divine here means you must learn to see how divine your own body is when it creaks and pains you as well as lifting you up on a kundalini-fueled dopamine high. 

This, too, is the heart of tantra. No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about rapid and powerful transformation and transmutation that the creative force in us can bring when it’s not just about sex or a fancy position. 

Tantra is the path of liberation by daring to walk straight into the fires of our own self made hell’s to find heaven on the other side. Tantra is the lightening bolt that can heal or it can be a great stumbling block. You decide which it will be. There are awakened people who are so wrapped up in their own self-made lies and delusions that they can’t see things straight. And it’s a joke because for those who gobble their bullshit they have no clue that they are consuming deceit.

Don’t worry, I was there too. I don’t know what I’m not aware of, right? So who know for sure until the karma is healed and a newer clearer self slowly emerges removed block by removed block.

So be human, knowing that the secret of your freedom is hidden within it. The body is the pearl that is cast aside because no one knows the value it contains.

Stop with the excuses; if you lose it, your “loss” will be a great teacher if you let it. Be human and let yourself learn the great secret lying at its core. The path to it is not by way of the senses alone, but rather a balanced beam of Awareness that pulls in sensory and extrasensory experience all at once. 

And where does this all lead? Peace.

Ascension is not understood as long as you treat it like a thing. It isn’t a thing. It is a never ending process that takes lifetimes worth of work to truly refine the self. Buddha’s return over and over in different bodies in order to perfect the self. Even the great teachers return again and again because they too are imperfect. And you know, that’s beautiful.

Have a great weekend, my bearers of light…

This post is the second installment that is best read in series about how karma creates chemistry and how we can open our lives up to a new horizon, literally a new kind of life by clearing the karmic threads and “debts” which we owe to ourselves as drops in the vast ocean that is consciousness…

 

So I was thinking about how I was able to clear up the karma from this “soul twin” that I had in the beginning of my awakening. I was thinking, too, about  how effortless it was to dissolve the connection that had caused me so much angst as well as bliss.  Mind you, in the beginning, there was this expansive love that I felt as well as this fiery quality that was part of the rush of prana that is kundalini.  This was not an effort at making myself a recluse, but rather that I felt, knew, that this was not all there was.  Most everyone I observed in the “twin” community seemed fairly situated in what I was rapidly feeling was the mythos of the twin flame and comfortable with this view as the twin as “The One.” It was natural, afterall, I had been there, too.  But things were changing for me and I was no longer content with what I saw as a delightful fairy tale, a beautiful story, certainly, but not one that reflected reality.  Yes, I felt the depths of soul love inside of me and I shared this with another, but I also felt the earthly self, both where I was and where she was.  We were oh-so human.

How to deal with this dichotomy, I thought? It seemed to me that this disjuncture was the proof that there was something more at work.  What the twin community was doing, it seemed to me at the time, was the same thing we do when we are putting a puzzle together.  You know those puzzle pieces that LOOK like they fit, but don’t?  I mean those pieces that look exactly like they should fit, but the shape is off so very slightly that you are kind of stumped in that moment?  Yeah, like that.  Now I was watching as some of us were just jamming that puzzle piece into place and saying “good enough!” and going on with it.  I just wasn’t one of those people.  I am a big believer in letting a mystery BE a mystery, yes, certainly, but there is also a time when you ought to use your mind some to roll this thing around, especially when the “mystery” isn’t fitting into any of the discussed paradigms set forth thus far.

I thought about this and wondered what a later soul connection might have involved, and this time around, for soul connection #2 it was similar, but different.  It also involved a miss-identification of responsibility for a host of issues that caused me a lot of hurt and pain with this person, to be quite honest.  I was snagged by this person with her dishonesty, which was very much like my wife before my awakening began.  In fact, I considered at the time that this #2 connection might have been a way to work through what my ex-wife and I had not worked through. They were so similar in some important ways.  Sounds dysfunctional, doesn’t it?  Well, actually, it has turned out that since the two of these people were sooo similar that it has helped a LOT in working through the remaining karmic snags for BOTH.  Despite the fact that something in the back of my head was telling me that what I was being drawn into and WHY I was being drawn into it might well be bad for me.  Different stories, yet so very similar.

The Universe Becomes Your Mirror

In an interesting twist, I have been having a lot of problems popping up with my ex-wife as I have been headed towards the end-game of this soul connection, trouble that she has been initiating all on her own.  This has always been telling to me because whenever I was working through some karmic material it was as though they could feel it and would pop up out of the blue.  The timing on this has always been bizarre, at least in the beginning.  Lately, I just see this kind of behavior as proof for how we are bound by common material and that we can indeed all feel it whether it is conscious or not.

I chose to remain neutral with my ex-wife, though, in this last series of interactions, choosing not to engage her by pointing out the error in her way of behaving (which has always been over-the-top mean and hurtful).  This tack or approach has proven to shake things up in me just enough to help release some significant karmic material in both cases, ex-wife and connection #2.  In this case, the release was sooo simple. God, just to think about how much hand-wringing and worry and concern there had been about approaching this day there had been!  So much self-doubt, so much loathing of myself for being tied to these hard people! The release happened with #2  I when I was able to see an admission that one of them had emotional problems.  All I ever really needed was that moment of honesty from them, that “come to Jesus moment” that never really happened, and probably wouldn’t happen.  This had kept me active and turning on this karmic merry-go-round.  And this moment was not one that involved me talking to either of them, which was actually really nice.  Poof.  On my own, I got the one small thing that I needed that flipped the switch on all of this.  And now?  All of that hard stuff is just gone. I feel different.  I look different.  I now realize that the thoughts that I once had that I often dismissed as just a fairy tale way of being were in fact the depths of who I am, the beauty that was waiting for me on the other side of that garden gate.  One side was thunder clouds and uncertainty and the other side was bright and hopeful without a need to convince myself that anything was anything except what it was. Now, whether dark or light, I just don’t see the dividing line but feel the bliss of simply being.

I will also add that along with this hard behavior taking place as I reached the home stretch in all of this, that I was approached about two months ago out of the blue by a guy I know only peripherally, asking me if I could help him with his business.  As I was working with him and his employees, I felt deep into the energy of the group and found this troubling but interesting swarm of energy there.  I just worked for weeks and felt into it as I went about my day.

I found that there were all of these similar energies that all went back to the male wound.  For the first two to three weeks I only felt the energy.  I really had nothing to go on beyond what I was feeling. But by the third week, people were suddenly opening up and telling me exactly what I wondered about on an energy level.  All of this felt so familiar to me, but I had no hard physical history to pin it to. Without saying a word or asking any questions, except in my mind, they each began to tell me just what I needed to know.

This time, instead of working this like a problem, I accepted it without feeling a need to fix anything.  The interesting thing that happened was that I went from repulsed and upset the first few weeks, to feeling a strange affinity for these men.  I understood where they had been because I had been in similar places, too. I think we all have in one way or another.  It was as though life was giving me this opportunity to step deep into this chasm that was the inner life of these men in order to ponder my own wound, what is called “samscara.” But the brand or nature of their wound was so similar in so many ways to my own. This was tricky…..be in the world, but don’t be of it.  Step into the abyss but remain untouched…..no….not quite….surrender and accept all of it, see it, feel it, know it and don’t feel a stitch of resistance.  Yes, that is much more accurate.

It was at the moment that I began to accept them that the changes began to take place with my ex chiming in with her junk, all in perfect timing.  The distance between these men and their admissions about their past happened within 24 hours of my ex texting me and trying to “yank my chain.”  I remained stolid and calm.  It all passed with some hurt on my side, but no reaction, which was the big difference.  In the past, I knew that she took some pleasure from getting a reaction out of me.  As long as I reacted in pain, it confirmed to her that I was just as messed up as she was.  It was her way of keeping me in the boat.  But wait, no, it was me allowing myself to be controlled, effected, and enmeshed.  And THAT was the difference.  I had control now. Hurt me all you want, or try to; it just no longer works.  The first few times, yes, it still hurts…but the behavior and the energy is actually changing, and this was part of how I just stepped out of that old restrictive suit of clothes that made the man who he was.

After this took place, about a week later, another layer was unfurled and this time there came the beginning of a series of releases. I was able to feel the energetic side of the block releasing from my right lower range of the meridian when I got out of the work van at our work site several days ago.  This was between root and sacral chakras and was not felt IN the chakra like so many releases in the past.  This one was stubborn, bug in, and I felt the root block more as points within the meridian line on the male or solar side of yang energy (based on the Chinese medicine system). Then I was able to read about an admission from this soul connection and it all resulted in this perfectly timed matrix of effects that felt like a landslide or cascade of inner releases that brings me to where I am now. Poof. Gone.

Energetically, I feel different and my thoughts are different, too.  I am no longer obsessed with loss and lack churning inside of me.  Poof.  This buoyancy has resulted in my feeling like I can reach something that I didn’t feel….worthy of.  Can you believe that? With this hard energy weighing me down, I just didn’t feel like I could reach it easily.  Everything had this cast over it that had an edge of the negative. With a root-related block this type of thing relates to issues of nurture and abundance.  If the block is big enough, it can result in problem taking care of ones self or creating abundance.  I knew that my block was partial because of how events happened in my life.  I had always used creative visualization for the important things in my life: school, job, career, and children.  They all came as I had asked.

In my life I have always been able to manifest pretty big things in my life, but they almost always have some kind of hitch in them, sort of like the wish the genie grants you that you always wind up regretting.  Now, though, I know that we no longer have to regret the wish because the wish is now forged in the clarity of the soul’s purpose free from these troubling alliances having to do with loss and lack and hurt and pain and all the rest. This corresponds to the root now being clearer. I should now see a new level of clarity to what is brought into my life through our ability to co-create our lives.  I also find that any problems that come along just don’t flatten me like they had before.

Today as I opened a new book I bought for myself as this change was underway, it revealed a quote by the Buddha that spoke about how releasing the karmic bonds that hold us down to the earth…..free us so we can fly like eagles who can leave this world or be untethered by the concerns that weighed us down.

I have been hoping for this moment for years.  Years. Me an my dear friend Ali  have been talking about this idea which she brought up in our early discussions back in 2008 about how karma creates chemistry.  I wondered at first how anyone would believe such a thing as this?  At first, it didn’t make sense to me.  What I felt in connection felt natural, not fabricated, and this karma=connection sounded a lot like that. There was something about it that didn’t make sense….but now what I know is that the reason why it did not make complete sense at the time was because I was seeing through  distorted lenses, that my way of sensing and seeing the world was itself….bent. I was myself captured by karma and you cannot fix an old problem using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place (thank you, Albert E.) And this is something that you will need to know about yourself if you find that this also makes little sense to you. I wont ask you to believe me, just file it away and then get on with your “work” and when the day comes when it happens to you, let’s talk.

When I  explained how karma created chemistry to my second soul connection, she did not believe what I was saying.  I hadn’t either.  It just didn’t seem right, based on how the energy felt. It felt like a “foreverness” that you just don’t want to ever let go of.  There are lots of people similarly hooked in the twin phenomenon that keeps them engaged but not healing the blocks.  But do you know why this FEELS like a forever thing?  Do you really?

The Reward Cycle

Dopamine.  I know it sounds simplistic, but it is really that simple.  Our reward centers physically are designed to give us that peasant reward for just about ANYTHING that our mind/brain believes is a good thing.  Sex is one of these things, but there are loads of others. Prana creates bliss and as it is identified, the mind sends a signal to the body to produce dopamine among other things to reward us for something that is actually very good for us.  The idea of connection with another person whom we love generates this rich chemical landscape that keeps us coming back, though, and the connection itself is most often karmic.  This means that on the one side you are feeling prana flow, which is good, but the karma is in there, too, which is a kind of soup of both shadow and light, so you get a bit of both.    If you have a lot of negative karma surrounding an issue, then the chemical train gets colored with that karma and you have the potential for bliss along with the chaotic emotions that are still suppressed within the psyche. This is the double-edged sword of life.  You have the dark and the light.  Learning how to navigate through all of this is what yields victory in clarifying and cleansing the self. There is this very insightful saying in the Gospel of Philip that says in essence that God is a dyer of souls. When God dyes a soul, it goes in one color and comes out white.  This is to say that the dying work that God does is to clear us of all color.  This is not to say that we are colorless. We do not lose our character or personality, but that we lose that which made it hard for us to see the divine within.

Dopamine also does something else where pain and trauma are concerned.  When it is created in the body, it helps to eleviate the pain so that it does not burn deep grooves in our minds.  It helps us to move on.  This is one reason why kundalini works on emotional blockages so well; the body is pumping out a LOT of dopamine (and there is evidence for this state at various stages of the awakening process that I wont go into here but I write a lot about it on the blog).  This is also why people who have PTSD or other types of trauma-based issues will often turn to opiates to soothe the pain.  In fact today as I sat waiting to pick my child up from an appointment, I listened on the radio about a woman who had begun using heroin as a way of dealing with her pain.  She spoke of how it soothed her, made her feel like she could cope.  Sadly, by doing this, she was actually shutting down her body’s own native ability to produce the compounds necessary to make her feel the way she needed in order to heal. Dopamine does this, it is the body’s own natively produced opiate and I can tell you that once I identified what it was I was experiencing that was making me feel so peaceful and smoothed out and wonderful and dreamy, I was able to see how a strong “dump” of dopamine into my system also corresponded with releases.  To put it simply; you just don’t CARE about the pain anymore.  When you do this, your brain and body can simply release the old hurt like that: poof!  The mind stop supporting the old programming and the brain and body are now charged and ready to take in a different story.  The result?  You feel instantly transformed. You are literally reconnecting the brain and the body in new ways, creating new pathways for though to flow.  At an energetic level, the change is felt in a myriad of ways as well.

The dopamine cycle works for a host of reasons, from building a strong family unit for the rearing of children, to the benefit that being with another gives to us as a couple as well as the cohesiveness of a community. There are other compounds involved like oxytocin (which is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter—think on that one for a minute!) a little adrenaline, estrogen, and testosterone.  Once our mind/brain has identified something as important enough, it sets up a reward system for it.  And we can become addicted to it in just the same way we become addicted to the very behaviors that keep us enmeshed in certain karmic merry-go-rounds.  But is this bad?  The curious thing is that some people, in order to get the dopamine blast into their systems will use some behavior that will trigger it.  The important part is whether you are using something else to make it happen, or are you choosing to just feel differently, which is itself the spiritual compliment OF dopamine.  You see the difference?  If its, say, sex, that creates the dopamine reward trigger, then you can become a sex addict.  The sign is that sex is an empty experience for you at some point because after all, you aren’t in it for the experience that sex can give, not really.  You are after the high of the dopamine. As a result, sex addicts wind up having a feeling of emptiness in the wake of sex. It is a terrible place to be.  They need to move the dopamine cycle, the reward cycle, so that it is not divided from the self by any degrees of separation. The trick, people, is to learn how to trigger dopamine production in your body so that you get a nice flow going all the time at a low healthy level so you mirror the physical state of peace.  We have forgotten how to do this, or that the body will respond in a fraction of a second to a desire to feel bliss by pumping out dopamine. We are a generation of pill poppers.  This does not solve the problem, it only masks it.  What is curious is that it appears that when your body is producing dopamine for no other reason than to feel good (not just for a reward cycle) the body does not appear to become addicted to it.

Sometimes the glitches in our karma can go on for lifetimes.  The trick here, the whole point of all of this inner work, is to choose the beneficial positive karma over the negative ones.  If you watch people who are obsessively upset, you will see that they are actually enjoying being upset.  They spend so much time engaged in explaining why they hurt and why.  Most often, they are pointing to some source outside of themselves as the culprit, when all along the culprit is  within. Through a simple turn in awareness, the true culprit is seen for what it is.  Doing this work accomplishes this.  And the result?

For me, when this last wrinkle unfurled in me and the hooks dropped away, I felt….a series of new feelings that felt authentic and good.  My energy felt buoyant.  So simple, so clean and so clear.  I didn’t feel this clenching tightness that could also be associated with sexual tension in an intimate relationship.  When I say tension, this was a tension that felt a little over the top and was a kind of warning signal even as I was unable to change it until I healed the karma at its deepest level. The really interesting thing was how supercharged my sexual energy felt in the wake of this.  I was actually concerned that it would all just go away.  As kundalini/prana cleanses the body/self, the energy is less chaotic or intense.  I worried that I might lose this intensity.  I identified that the intensity made me feel vital and alive….I just didn’t like the hardness.  It finally felt like a flowing powerful form of energy that was unencumbered by these tight or tense spots that I knew were there but was powerless to do anything about (until they were healed).  Like some silent reminder, they let me know in each moment that they were there, these tight spots, these blocks. But in the end, it was much-ado about nothing.

The “Reset”

There was a point in my awakening when I had what I call a “reset” of my energy field about a year and a half into my awakening.  This “reset” helped me to more clearly relate to the blocked energy that still remained in me. How this was done was completely unexpected by both me and my healer.  She was told by her guides to simply follow their guidance and take on my energy for a moment.  I was on the phone, doing this at a distance, and didn’t know that this was happening.  She told me to hang up and just breathe deep and wait.  I felt a sudden lightness to my being that was very nice.  Peaceful.  But after about one minute, I felt my old energy come back down around me.  The only way I can describe it was that in taking on my energy, by entering into my energetic capsule, she was able to lend or imbue or surrogate a much needed form of awareness that I was able to inherit as a result of this exchange.

What took its place was….not easy. At all.  I think if I had known what was about to happen, I would not have gone along with it.  What it felt like was a screeching clamor of metal like the sound of a freight train wrecking all around me.  It was accompanied by a deep and abiding physical pain that remained with me throughout my awakening until I released the remaining material. Okay, so that sounds really bad.  But actually, it wasn’t.  This was NOT physical pain.  What it was, was referred pain.  This was soul pain, a pain I had been blocking from my awareness….even in the midst of awakening.  Yes, I was aware of this pain, I had felt it, but I had simply dialed the volume down.  My healer dialed the volume back up so that I could hear what was happening.  I was, simply, much more aware of what was happening to me. And this sped me along on an accelerated path because the pain I felt in my heart was really hard.  But when the pain was released, as the blockages were released that following year, what followed in its wake, was a wonderful feeling that I keep with me to this day.

This level of awareness based on this “reset” has been of huge benefit to me because it has enabled me to see or feel into my energy body that much more deeply so that I can detect even the smaller things in a much more vivid way.  It will, in time, make me that much better of a healer should I choose to go that route.  It was this awareness that created a sense of pain in one of my meridians that helped me to pinpoint the exact area a year ago so I could show my Kahuna healer where to concentrate on in order to begin releasing material there through energy medicine and deep tissue massage.

And?  Poof!  Gone was all of the obsessing over this person I felt connected to but who I knew had been hurting me and would continue to do so because of her entitlement to being trapped in the meme of victim.  I had been told that I just needed to forgive this person…..but in the end, it wasn’t forgiveness that did it.  What did it for me was in being able to see things so clearly….something that I KNEW but that I seemed to hear from them as being the truth.  That was my hitch; I seemed to need to know that they knew.  I know that seems weird, but for my brand of karma, that was just what the doctor ordered.  Quietly, I was able to simply slip the bonds and soar.  Now, how it does it for you, what YOUR trigger is, I can’t say.  For me, though, it was like someone finally saying, “I know that what I was doing was messed up….I know…..and I am sorry about it…” That was all I needed to know, that yes, they knew that what they were doing was off. And now?  I feel no draw to this kind of thing at all.  It is as though I have transcended a murky layer in the ocean and am now in a much clearer place.

Having said all of this, my own energetic awareness shows me that there is still more murk in the root chakra, but it does not seem to be so entangled with others and this blame game that I have gotten tangled in.  I for one am glad to be free from it.  Come what may, at the least THIS part has been cleared, something I have been working on clearing for years.

How It Works

Until such an event takes place where you can resolve the “hitch” or the “hook” of the karmic connection, you remain on the merry-go-round caught in a recursive set of behaviors due to a suppressed set of emotions that are begging to be healed.  This can be done by a simple moment of honesty.  In this one important wrinkle, I was waiting on the honesty of another in order to feel the sense of release I hoped for for so long.  And for me, in my case, it released a whole series of difficult to live with feelings.  Now, free from all of this, I can FEEL myself unencumbered by the weight of another and their feelings of incompletion.  I simply had to know once and for all that this was not mine….but had been making it mine in this codependent cycle that was my karma.  Now with this new clarity of self and heart and soul, I ask myself: what am I going to do now? It will be interesting to see what manifests in the days that come.  With the karma gone, so too is the old chemistry that was caught in the dark goddess.  I am ready for the one who dwells in the light.  And the ONLY reason why I am going to the trouble of opening up like this is because each of us can reach this same place in our own time.  It is possible!  Whoot!

There are numerous methods that can be useful to you in assisting prana in doing its work re-magnetizing you to your larger authentic self.  I have done all of this work without traditional methods like yoga.  While I esteem yoga greatly, I know that it is but one of many methods that can be used.  Ultimately, the goal is doing what makes you flow and open up to the energy.  Breath work helps a lot, including alternating nostril breathing, something I created for myself that I call “Active meditation” which involves working on moving energy in my body and dropping into a deep state where I can feel the buoyancy of my lovely energy that connects me to the universe and reveals to me how the presence of the All is hidden in the atoms and cells of my body.  Centering attention on centers where you feel resistance helps to clear flow, as does movement, ANY movement from dance to things like Chi Gung, deep tissue massage, energy work, reiki, and more.  If you are dealing with awakening, drop into your deeper self and ask yourself what you most need to know.  Try it; then await the answer.  I will bet that you will wind up with resources coming out of your ears….people handing you books, people showing up to act as mirrors, teachers, guides, any number of things can manifest themselves. So trust in the power that is yours and that is also part of the universe.  You are, after all, a part of it and it is part of you!

नमस्ते

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