Archives for posts with tag: ascension
Jesus’s Baptism by Giotto

While we do not know for certain why, John the Baptist showed signs of being at great odds with the ruling elites of Jerusalem in the Jewish temple. John was himself in the wilderness, we are told, and showed every sign of living the life as an ascetic: he wore simple clothes and subsisted on honey and locusts. A man like this would be freed to some extent from having to work in order to survive. This would have afforded him more time for contemplative prayer and meditation. Ascetics like this often were mystics, people who sought to know the thoughts of God. There is evidence that John was just this, that he became aligned to the divine compass that rests in all of us. How so?

Baptism as it is practiced today was very different in John’s time. Today we sprinkle water on a child’s head and say their sin is forgiven, their path to heaven is promised. But baptism by John was a different affair. We know through the disciples of Jesus, which took up baptism as an important precursor to discovering the kingdom within that it was imperative that the person want to be washed clean with all their heart

And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is the water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? (37) And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest.

Acts 8:36-7

While in Acts the baptism was couched in believing Jesus as the son of God, baptism was developed as a critically important way to free people from the division that previous sin, that which separates our hearts from the heart of God, could serve as a mechanism of release for people. All you had to do was to buy into it (believe). John was doing this in order to remove sin. John was setting souls free.

One important step toward awakening is cleansing the self of those things which divide us from the light that shines upon us, in us. In every way, Jesus explained that all of this was found within. It begins like a smallest of all seeds, the mustard.

Ritual cleansing baths are an important part of Judaism. John, I note, took the idea of cleansing one step further and created a way to free people from the burden of their past. What is remarkable is that John broke with the temple practice of blood sacrifice as the way to remit sin.

By whose authority did John do this? In his day John would have pointed to God. As any prophet, mystic or seer can tell you, this God is found within us. By John’s own perceptiveness and his desire for a better more peaceful way, he invented baptism. His own authority stamped the method with effectiveness. Yes, just saying it could even make it happen. John and Jesus both understood the role that belief or faith had in the work they did. Anyone employing methods like these understands the role belief plays.

People think there is magic in baptism, but it is entirely empty in truth, it is instead entirely filled by ones faith in it. By the same rule, baptism can be a hollow act if you don’t approach it correctly. There is evidence in the scripture to show that the early ones knew how to do it so that achieved its desired impact. One’s own faith is what works the magic. Does God forgive the sin? No, instead we do. God is always ready to forgive, but it is we who must prepare ourselves, to make our minds and hearts right to be forgiven. At any moment this can happen because of the abundant love that God has for all. We must be able to empty ourselves of the coarse stones that hides how ever-present this love is, how all-encompassing it has always been.

This would easily be counted as heresy today, but that is just how far the faithful have wandered from the core of these rituals. We think there is magic in just doing them, but that just isn’t so. If drinking the wine doesn’t make you feel closer to Christ, it’s your fault. You really have to let your imagination take you for a powerful ride. You had to be ready to give everything up to receive the power of baptism.

It’s important to understand how baptism was performed. In the earliest days a person left all of their garments and went into the water naked. This is one reason why there were furors over women in the early church baptising people. It was considered scandalous for a woman to be performing this with people who were naked. Women did, however, perform baptism. Sadly, baptism has been altered from its original form where one strips away the covering, the guile of the self, to come to God utterly naked. This ceremonial stripping away of what protects and hides us was an important ingredient to the process.

Being naked served to do two two things: it helped a person to surrender to the ritual. It is hard to hide your soul and heart when you stand naked in the water. It also emphasizes how the body will be washed clean of sin. If you believe it will happen, then it will. That is the true magic of baptism, which relies on belief. But who really is letting go of the sin, the burden? You, of course. Most people think of baptism as the method that works it magic. Baptism was a mechanism to help bring a person to a state of surrender: the grip on what needs to be let go is softened, and if the heart is ready, it goes. The more you let go, the less you have standing between you and God. We have forgotten these principles today. In fact, every baptism is done fully clothed. Besides, what’s the big deal, really?

Something happens to a soul when it is unburdened by the weight of the inner division that divides us from the divine; we suddenly are relieved of that which had been weighing us down only moments before. This adds buoyancy to the heart, and brings one ever closer to the divine presence. It is a trapdoor into the soul and its connection to divine presence. Release the right block or stone holding up the dam and the whole eddifice can come tumbling down.

Humans are made up of a series of these blocks or “stones” that serve to keep out the light or the water of life. All awakenings proceed in the same manner: surrendering to the powerful force that undoes us, that, like a physician, removes those things that keep us from the divine light. You didn’t have to be a Jew, you could be from any faith, from any walk of life. The church created the impression that you had to become Christian if you were to enjoy the benefits of the true light.

It’s quite possible that John was in the wilderness because he was not accepted by the temple priests as legitimate. While his method of baptism was drawn from tradition, it also departed from it. There is no mention of John taking money for his services, which would have been different from what happened at the temple in Jerusalem. This may be why he was in the wilderness. It may also be that John saw the corruption there and chose not to participate, we don’t really know for sure. What we do know is that John developed this method on his own and was offering it to others, which stood as a method that bypassed the temple methods of tithing and sacrifice that were filling the coffers of the temple.

It is worth mentioning that during this time the temple priest began hoarding the Jewish coin used for tithing to the temple. This was called the half shekle (also shekel), as no coinage from a pagan Rome could be accepted. This created artificial scarcity and drove the value for coin up. People from the region would come for yearly blessings and religious observances, bringing a bushel of grain or chickens, doves, or other valued resources which would get converted to the shekle. Under the hoarding regime, what took a bushel of grain could end up costing two bushels, later. That’s some pretty bad corruption for you. And who of conscience would want to deal with a system like that? This was the world that John and Jesus found themselves in.

Jews weren’t the only tradition to practice a cleansing of self for reaching the divine, however. The Native American sweat lodge or inipi is an important precursor to receiving divine guidance. One had to cleanse ones self in order to be closer to the divine and to be able to receive its guidance. The Hindus describe a process of cleansing energy channels where they knew past emotion can be stored, a process that also achieved a closeness to the creator. Much of yoga is concerned with this process of cleansing.

Now you might look at this and say, “This has no similarities to baptism!” But you would be wrong. What is key here is psychology. All of these methods work as psychological triggers….if you buy into or believe them. Under the skin, they achieve the same thing.

Rumi once wrote that people argue about the light saying one is better than another when all is light and none better than the other. All of these cultures knew and practice a similar method because it works because of how all people universally divide themselves from their heritage of children of the creator.

When I awakened, I clearly had released a long-standing issue that had me at odds with myself and the universe. As soon as I let it go, I began having symptoms tied to awakening. It was as though a path had been cleared for me where my awareness was freed up to know the fundamental truth of my being as tied to the divine. I didn’t reach this because of a belief or any expectation of any return from having done this work. Likewise, the work of John worked just as much for Jew as Gentile in his day. Jesus’s work and message worked for all-comers. Jesus saw the benefit in John’s work and began to employ it because it worked when done correctly.

To me, this method reveals the compassion that John had for the spiritual suffering of people. He went out of his way to do this work. Imagine this man, holding you and pushing you gently into the water and pulling you back out, pronouncing how you had been washed free of your sin. To do this, you had to trust John, you had to bodily place yourself in his hands. You had to be ready to let go.

Something powerful happens when you are with someone who has achieved this same type of release, also, which has been a well-known principle in many traditions. A teacher is more effective when they embody the knowledge of how the method works? You better believe it. Each person whose heart is open and ready can feel it since it is a deep spiritual truth, and that truth actually has a life beyond just the teacher (as long as followers don’t fall away from the core principles of the method). It was so powerful a method that Jesus went to be baptised, and when he did, his own connection to the divine was in that moment realized.

We often want to think that Jesus was different, but what I see is a man who wanted his own inner sin to be washed away. No one bothers to look at this, though, within the church. It’s as if, as how the institution has portayed it, that baptism was somehow different for Jesus. The elephant in the room is that people were finding relief from what had them divided from the divine. It is entirely reasonable to think that Jesus sought out John as the physician of his heart and soul.

Division within the self serves to hide or obfuscate our deeper, truer, nature. A person not burdened by unresolved feelings of anger, frustration, fear, or guilt, is much more able to understand and glimpse their deeper fundamental nature as a spark of the divine. The same appeared to be true for Jesus, since in the moment as he emerged from the water, something powerful had happened. It may have been more effective for Jesus than others, and this may also be why he adopted baptism as one of the ritual practices that now make up the Christian faith.

While my awakening wasn’t initiated with a baptismal event, the event that took place was, I suspect, identical to how baptism worked in the old days, which was that I was given the opportunity to unburden myself of an inner tangle of emotion about a past even that I hadn’t been able to resolve. I had a slow burn of frustration, guilt, and anger that had been burning a hole in the pocket of my soul. This angst was as much directed at myself as it was the universe for having sent a challenge spiritually that I felt I had failed in the face of. What was so interesting was once this initial release and subsequent shift took place, the challenge completely resolved itself. It could be said that this challenge to my system set up the conditions where enough pressure was brought to bear to serve as the force that would break through the wall seperating me from the depths within. Once I was able to just let it all go, everything changed from that moment going forward. For me, this one stone removed from that wall I had built caused the wall itself to weaken, ultimately allowing the water of life to stream into my awareness and initiate the changes to get me to a better place. It resulted in years of removing barriers I had erected to the divine.

These stones, all of them, were knots of emotion that only served to drown out or hide the soft flow of life-giving water/light of spirit. This all began with one initiatory act, and I suspect that this was also what John, Jesus, and many others were doing some two thousand years ago. Baptism washes away the lower so that the higher may be better glimpsed. It’s not a guarantee of awakening, but one in a series of steps that can work to bring a person closer until they can see the Christ or saving grace that is in us all.

Paul, in his letters explains it as not something that came from without, but as the Christ that was within. He said that God showed him this in his road to Damascus moment when he was struck by a bright white light. Paul wasn’t a believer at all, and was actively persecuting Christians. He waa shown this Christ within himself. Only then did he become such a vocal proponent of the movement. It’s kind of beautiful when you think about it. A tent-maker going around persecuting followers being baptised in the spirit of the Holy Ghost. That’s what happened to Paul. It was so sudden a transformation that he was blind for three days. This could easily have been a condition we call hysterical blindness. If true, it was because Paul needed some time to catch up with the new reality he suddenly was facing. Blindness can manifest it times like these when you are still unable to comprehend the about-face that happened. This underscores just how sudden his awakening was. This is not unlike many awakenings today. It’s quick, really in a glimmering of an eye and there it is. Boom. Say goodbye to Kansas.

This kind of experience was often spoken of in terms of dying to the old self in order to realize a new life, which was the Christ. Paul wrote of dying daily as he came nearer to Christ, a process identical to awakening.

This was one reason why the esoteric strand or sect within Christianity which we call Gnostic today took Paul as their hero. It was this esoteric strand that was best positioned to understand and convey the very keys to this kingdom, which rested on inner seeking and then discovery of a spark which could be kindled into a great light and a realization of the divine hidden within us all. These descriptions were incredibly similar to those found in other cultures which describe the process of enlightenment.

The conspiracy to destroy the Gnostic sects, which contained so much understanding of these and other sacred rituals by the Orthodoxy (that came later) was a conspiracy of ignorance. Within several generations this more secretive group of sects were driven from the institutionalization process we call Christianity today.

What John, his disciples, Jesus, and his disciples knew was that one of the most important aspect to the work they were doing rested on belief in an important way.

Today, we refer to belief in scientific terms as the “placebo effect.” While we tend to denigrate the power of belief in our modern culture by renaming it with a “sciency” moniker (placebo) belief, regardless, remains an important power of mind. Sign up for, say, a drug trial, where you are a subject who might get a new type of antihistamine as part of a study, and you can glimpse what this power of mind can do. It is known that a certain percentage of participants who believe they are getting the drug and not the sugar pill (the placebo) but do get the sugar pill, will often exhibit physiological reactions as if they are actually getting the drug.

While the placebo effect has its limits in terms of how it can heal, it is a significant enough of a response to begin turning the tables for many touched by it. It helps to show how belief can drive the power of the mind for positive change.

John and Jesus knew about this and even explained many times (Jesus specifically) that it was a person’s faith or belief that had healed them. In first century Judea where access to medicine was nothing like what we have today, the effect of their belief made a huge difference in how people felt.

The Orthodox sect of Christianity claims that the books of the Nag Hammadi Library are heresy, but what interests me is how sophisticated the teachings are and just how probable it could be that they represent, in part, a private teaching by Jesus and his followers. Scholars seek to attribute some of the writings to a man named Valentinus who had a vision of the risen Christ and lived in the first century. Valentinus wrote about how he had visited a direct disciple of Paul who explained to him that Paul had both a public and private teaching. The disciple, named Theodus, taught Valentinus about this inner or secret teaching. While this itself does not prove that Jesus had an “inner ministry” there are indications in the synoptic gospels that Jesus did not teach openly to Gentiles, preferring to teach in parables in order to veil the meaning of his teachings, which happened in Mark and to a degree again in Luke. Every tradition on Earth that has had an esoteric wing which hides certain teachings in order to protect the uninitiated from what could prove to bring awakening before the student was ready for the experience.

Baptism was the beginning, one step in a series of passages to free the self of the burdens that exist in a person’s heart. This today would be called “release work” and it plays an important role in luving closer to the divine presence and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it.

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Copyright, Parker Stafford

I was given weed recently as a result of my describing what took place this Summer where weed had made me more psychic, something I wrote about here at WTI.

Alone finally last night after the holiday goings-on, I decided to get ready for bed and go through a meditation after using the weed I had been given.

I used a very small amount, about a pinch, about 3/4 the size of a pea (if that). This amounted to two regular puffs and one fraction of a third. This was a very low dose, although the version I used was described as being a strong hybrid version. I put on my headphones, pulled up a Monroe Institute Hemisync program from the Gateway Experience, and listened with headphones. This particular audio helps to induce deep Theta states, and while there are directions for relaxation and breathing, most of it is designed for your own inner work. The audio lasts about 45 minutes, just enough to get you there.

Everything happened very quickly. Before the narrator/guide began his first comments, I already felt a presence of a male who was speaking to me in this bright excited voice who seemed to be positioned above me who extended his hand saying, “Take my hand and I’ll show you all the places you can go!” At this point I was already dissociated from my body and traveling through what looked to be outer space. I remember having an experience like this before many decades ago where I moved out of my body and began seeing a starry sky and feeling that the stars were actually consciousness. The sensation at the time was overwhelming and it put an end to the projection because of the state of overwhelm I invariably would fall into that kept me from further projecting. This time, I thought about this and as I saw all these stars, I didn’t feel overwhelm but instead felt a stirring warmth in my core where there was only love. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I acknowledged this love as the next step in my evolution and the evolution of everyone on the planet.

I was interupted by the narrator of the audio a number of times as he made suggestions for how to breathe and relax. I was there in seconds, I was ready instantly and kept having my meditation interrupted by this voice. It didn’t trip me up completely though, it was more that I paused my meditation and waited for the voice to complete what it had to say since it pulled me out of the “broad mind” state as I felt pulled into a more linear language-based state (rational left brain). I’ll have to work more on that in the future. I found myself back at my body after expanding outward through both space and dimension, which all took place very quickly.

I noticed during this whole experience that my third eye had become very active. This time, though, I could feel the third eye pressure at the bridge of my nose. My third eye is now a vertical band that goes from my nose all the way up to my hairline. When it activates, it is usually felt as a large dot on my forehead with a sense of energy and even something that feels akin to tightness of a sort. This tightness isn’t inhibiting in any way, it signals that my third eye is activating in a strong way. It is more that this tightness is the result of these bands of energy that flow around it and out of it. When this happens, it is a sign that I can begin to see clearly beyond the physical if I focus my mind correctly with the third eye center. The two work together in bringing information through. I was aware of information streaming into different parts of my brain which would get routed to the third eye as the lens used to see into the realities that these intuitions represented. Likewise, I was aware that the third eye could see into the mind to pick these things up. It was a fluid dynamic system where informatiin flowed both ways.

As I thought about this, the third eye energy shifted up into its usual place which was mid-brow up to the edge of my hairline. The whole area constitutes the third eye for me, which is akin to a long extended flame of awareness and sensation. The Hindu seers who paint the tilak on their foreheads are using an image of how I experience the third eye. Two vertical lines with a cental line in the center all corresponding to the Ida, Pengali, and Shushumna nadi. The Ida and Pengali merge in union and balance in the Shushuma, the place of boundless bliss. Below is a photo of the tilak as it is worn by mendicate monks. There are variations of the tilak, so the one shown below is just one of a handful of versions used.

I was also met by a small presence that I can only describe as dwarfish that spoke and moved excitedly as it began showing me the energy lines in my legs. I had gone from standing on a beach to being up in the hills in a tropical location atop a flat-topped roof of someone’s house, which was where this being began pointing out the energy lines in my legs.

I was in this kind of environment because the hemisync audio uses ocean waves as part of its audio. I naturally found myself standing on a beach, and later moved from the beach uphill into the mountains above where I landed on a slightly sloping rooftop. The being was showing me where the energy lines crossed in my legs when the narrator broke in and it made it hard to continue. I will see about going back to this in another meditation. I knew or could feel how others had mapped the energy body in not too different a way in the past in meditations much like this one, and I thought how easy it was, not the arduous task as I had originally had thought it was.

I was keen to get into the leg chakras because I could feel how there was some blocked energy that resided at the junction of the torso and the legs. It was curious how this energy trailed off behind me, right around my behind and extending out like coat-tails behind me. This awareness has always been one of the great gifts conferred by awakening, and the awareness itself has been enough to dissolve countless blocks in my field. At one time many years ago this awareness would make me feel defeated by the sheer volume of material present to still clear. Now, though, it existed more as a remnant, a trailing bit of material near my lower back.

What is worth mentioning is the back trouble I have been having since November. The week of Thanksgiving was where it came to a head after driving to see family. It was so bad I couldn’t move from a sitting to a standing position without the use of a broom handle which I used for about a week to get up from my couch. Luckily, I somehow managed to keep working even though all I wanted to do was to lie flat on the floor. I have been slowly rehabilitating my back muscles so I can move more freely. What would have taken weeks if adjystments by a chiropractor I was able to do on my own and now the sore muscles are in a much better place with slow and gentle stretches. It was I think not a coincidence that I was having this tightness along with the enhanced awareness of the stuck energy near my bottom in this meditation.

I soon decided to drift off to sleep after this took place. I revisited the idea of telepathy before going to sleep but every person who I put my mind to seemed much too vivid and in a tangle for me to even try another experiment along these lines. I did however find a part of my mind aware of one person who I kept feeling like I was communicating with during the meditation, like a quick check-in contacted me and there was an important message waiting for me from tat person when I checked messages this morning.

I say this only as a reminder about the things we can explore, learn, and discover. We are all inheritors of a noble light that is supportive and loving. We go and experience things that are part of our present “set and setting” and experiences are part and parcel of where we are at any moment in time.

I will note that up until this summer, I have only ever used natural methods for reaching accelerated states of being and awareness. I have also been an advocate for this approach for many decades (using it myself exclusively) since my early twenties—in the late 1980’s. My experience this past summer made me rethink this approach. After being able to reach these ecstatic states naturally, I have considered what some substances might do to help further expand both awareness and experience. While I have no interest in being a heavy user, I am considering this as one wrinkle among many in this entire process.

If weed helps me to hone in on the remnants if blocked energy, then I will consider future meditations using very small amounts to assist in sharpening that awareness. I don’t sense that weed opened my third eye, that initiation took place in a meditation in late 2006. Rather, my intent to do this meditatiin was set on “finding out what I might see ir discover” with my third eye dutifully responding to that intent and also aided by the much more fluid state I found myself in as the weed began to take affect.

The goal for me is to learn how to emulate these states without outside substances. I will mention though that even the food that we eat can have a significant effect on our physiology not unlike weed has done. I have found states of bliss after eating cantaloupe and other melons because it served to modify how my body responded to the energy of the awakened state. Just being well hydrated can change how I feel. Taking vitamin D has had dramatic effects on how I experience bliss, for example. So weed? It may well be one of many plant helpers that I can use to help open up my cognition and awareness to valid physical and nonphysical states, not as a distorter of experience, but as a liberator from an inhibited state to one that is not as inhibited.

I hope you are getting a break and have enjoyed the holidays. If you don’t hear back from me, happy new year!

Two years ago, while learning a new glass form in the studio, I made a wrong move and got a serious burn on my arm. A curious thought arose just as the pain began to barrel into my body. The thought went like this: “it wont hurt…” In seconds, the sense of burning pain ‘flipped’ to become a sensation of coolness, not pain. It remained that way as the burn scabbed over and then healed. It amazed me that I could get the result that I did. I mentioned this event in a post in the Fall two years ago here at WTI. It was one of the first hints that mind could convince the body and brain to change how signals in the body are interpreted. On the one hand, having signals read as pain serve a purpose, but on the other, they show evidence that they can be mediated by the mind when the need arises to change them.

Two days ago I was working in the studio making a piece for an order. In walks some customers. Feeling rushed, I didn’t slip on the protective wear I normally do to protect myself from radiant heat burns. The piece I was working on had to be extra hot in order to properly complete a certain step in the making of the piece. With glass, it is in the range of 15-1900 degrees F. inches from the hand, so even without touching a hot object you can get burned if your skin remains too long in close to the heat source.

I know how crazy this sounds: why would anyone keep their body so close to a heat source that it burns? The answer, my friend, is a glassblower does this often. Normally we are aware of the kind of exposure to keep from getting more than a heat rash or a sunburn-like condition. You learn the difference between heat that will cause discomfort and what will result in burns (and as a glassblower I reach that threshold many times in a day). Normally. I felt my hand and arm burning, and by the time I was near to being finished, the damage was done. Like Icarus, I had flown too close to the sun. Then the piece didn’t turn out either. I was slowly getting caught up in frustration…which is never a good thing.

Putting away the pipe, the severity of the burn became apparent to me. It was the worst radiant burn to date (after 25 years of working with glass). Whoo, boy! I shifted quickly into customer mode and rushed into the gallery to wait on my customers before the burn became unbearable.

I was also feeling preoccupied with how stuck I had become in both the frustration and the pain as I entered the gallery. I explained this to my customers, apologizing if I was not acting my best. I lifted my arm to take a look. My forearm was speckled red with some small blisters forming. The side of my hand had a blister about the size of a nickle. I stayed stuck in my frustration as my customers took their time. All this while, the effects of the burn continued to develop.

After a bit, I was back in the studio facing this situation. This wasn’t good. I imagined that I would be out of commission for a few days as my arm and hand healed. Then I remembered what happened with my burned arm a couple of years ago and how I was able to do what I did back then. Why wasn’t I able to make the pain go away this time? Why wasn’t I immune to it now?

While I thought about this, the realization arose that I hadn’t tried to change the outcome yet. Oh right, I need to go down into it first. I had to find that place in my mind that acts like the operating system for the body. I had to tap into the autonomous nervous system.

First, I quieted my mind despite the physical pain. I do this by considering it’s possible that I can create a place of calm seperate from all of the sensory hubbub going on. I reached into this bottomless calm that is always available when I can get my mind right. After a few moments, I then regarded the pain. As I did this, there came my own presence of mind along with calm accompanied by the pain. I simply thought how I could make the pain go away. I sat with the pain and calm at the same time. To do this yourself, there is no magic to it except that you are willing to consider that both states are possible. It only becomes possible when you do it. I suspect that when you can be calm and not wince at the pain this is a dignal to the deeper part of the brain. It’s like you are behaving as though it doesn’t hurt. I suspect that when you do this and come to the brain with this kind of state, the brain is susceptible and willing enough to take that as a signal and makes the change. I am the first to admit that it isn’t easy to do this in the face of pain of this sort. If you can not act as though you are getting caught up in the pain signal, you can actually make it go away or “shift” it. It will likely feel like an imperfect alliance of stark contrasts. Still, you can tell yourself that anything is possible, much like I did.

In turns, the pain ebbed away, and then came back, before retreating again. While I observed this I saw that the pain was behaving the way it was because my thoughts had not been consistent. The pain came along because I was expecting it to. It was the most curious effect watching this happen the way it did. The pain came because of a deep natural belief that it would. I had momentarily wandered into both the fear reaction along with a resistance feeling put up against the pain, and these two identifiable elements tracked along with the experience until I was able to get better command of the situation. Both were keeping me in pain, I realized. I let those go using intention and imagination: I imagined what letting it go might feel like. While this was a kind of pretend, added to a deep inner calm and ignoring the pain, the situation began to resolve. I hadn’t jumped on this immediately, so there was now more to contend with, I realized. Then a few unexpected things happened quickly after I was able to shift the pain…

The red rash on my forearm went away very quickly. The line of small blisters went away also (in minutes). There were now only a series of red spots (those haven’t gone away). The blister on the side of my hand then began to subside. It had been filled with fluid moments before. Within an hour, the blister reversed itself. That had never happened before.

The blistered skin knitted itself back to the dermis the following day. This was new in my experience. Now a second day later, the area that was the blister feels and behaves like regular skin. Normally, the skin dries out and becomes a bit like a scab, which then peels away after about a week. The upper layer of skin isn’t drying out. There is some discoloration, a darkened area that looks like it is on the lower layers of the skin. I know, too much information, huh?

Since beginning this experiment my burn -while discolored slightly – is behaving normally, now a week later.

I mention this with a degree of caution because this hints at an area of inner work and mind/body connection that while beneficial for how I have used it, is not without risks. I am reminded of an interview many years ago by NPR where a group of Chinese monks who had learned to gain control over their autonomous nervous system. They demonstrated their abilities by going out during the coldest night of February (during the full moon of that month) donning nothing more than wet sheets, which they would dry by controlling their body temperature. The journalist described how the monks wrapped in the sheets, would open and close the sheets while their bodies seemed to be unfazed by the low temperatures in their environment. They came down from the high mountains having dry bed sheets. Later, a monk when asked how they achieved this, explained that he could not explain precisely how it was done because, in his words, “You could kill yourself.” In this case, this feat of control had as much to do with being able to slow heart rate as ramping up body temperature.

You need to go carefully into this kind of work, and this is one reason why I have not gone further into it with trying to slow my heart rate, for example. That said, someone at some point discovered this and developed it at one point without the benefit of a teacher either. My suspicion is that this was very carefully investigated by going very incrementally into this area of mind/body control, and anyone doing this should also consider this reality that could lead to harm for anyone who acts foolishly. This work, I suspect, opens the door to ALL controls over the body at a level that we are not accustomed to.

The converse is also true, though. It is possible to effect change that is positive for the body by helping to regulate chemistry that may have been run by subconscious material rather than conscious intent. It is possible, when carefully and incrementally done, to shift body chemistry to ranges that benefit the body instead of tearing it down. Fear, and its corresponding chemistry of adrenaline and norepinepherine, could be controlled in order to break the looping cycle of fear and wean a person off what may have been an instinctive pattern over many years to always go to the fear response and an unhealthy dose of adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. This alone can lead to better health and a body that is in a more balanced state (without pharmaceuticals which never solve the root cause but only address a down-stream condition of result). Sadly, and understandably, there is no public instruction available on how to achieve this type of work.

Now in typical Parker style, I am going to toss you what might seem to be a curve ball. Stay with me though, because I think it will hint strongly at our potentials as humans.

In a town called Varhinga in Brazil, there were multiple sightings of ET beings out in the open. There were multiple witnesses from local women to a physician who worked for the military there to fix a broken bone in an ET who had been captured by the military there. If you read about this incident in popular media, it sounds like a “nothing burger” but it wound up being one of the most amazing encounters in ufology. Robert Leir, who was known for his removal and analysis of implants many abductees have wrote a book about his findings about the events surrounding the case. In it, he interviews the attending physician who says he worked on the being. During the procedure the being communicated tellepathically with him. The ET also took control of the physician’s body in order to get him to perform the surgery in the correct way. He recounts that the being told him many things, but he also said he would only tell the author about two of the things it had said. He described the information as hitting him in his head like a hammer, coming in fast, and left him with a feeling of nausea. He said the being said that it felt sorry for humans because they could do what this being could do, but didn’t know how to do it. It also expressed sadness that humans didn’t inquire more inyo their spirituality, giving him the sense that humans had little clue about what was possible with a better awareness in place.

SOURCE: Leir, Roger. UFO Crash In Brazil, 2005, The Book Tree, San Diego CA. p. 78-82

Now that might sound way out there, but there are other encounters reported that tend to reveal ET’s stating similar sentiments. We are a bit like the planet of the apes to them when we could be much more evolved and more in command of ourselves. The mere suggestion of tellepathy, which every ET race has exhibited an abillity for is a subject that will instantly get the hackles up of the average man or woman on the street. While this is changing bit by bit, we stand before a kind of conspiracy of ignorance that keeps the past replaying itself in regards to humans being able to glimpse their inner potential (and their inner senses). For as strange as this may sound, it is pointing us in a direction many are discovering in our current day, which is evidence of inner senses and a broader capacity we have as humans which was only thought to be the domain of the yogis and adepts, locked up in a vault of secrecy, and the ignorance that always leads from such embargo’s of how things could be different. Reversing pain is just one hair on the tip of the tiger I think.

So there you go. The reason why I mention this is to make you aware that if I did this, so can you if you are willing to give this a try. Being able to cancel pain in this way can be very helpful. As for changing heart rate and blood pressure, that remains to be seen and absent a monk being able to counsel me on this, I will offer great caution going forward.

Learning about this has been one of the most formidable lessons in my awakened life (and it got me into plenty of jams before I got the memo). ❤

One outcome of my awakening experience was my personal discovery of books from early Christianity that had been largely unknown until a large cache were discovered in the desert of Egypt in 1945. One book purported to be the secret teachings of Jesus to his innermost circle. What I realized, or thought I did, was that these books were describing awakening with a pretty high degree of specificity. It wasn’t only that, but how they appeared to veil the teachings in many cases by using descriptions that made it difficult for anyone not having the experience to even know what the writers were refering to. It was to my mind like a way of coding the teachings just enough that it made it hard to understand. This may have been intentional, but it could also have been the result of not having a specific enough vocabulary with which to do the describing.

This might sound strange, but let me give you an example for what I mean. Not long into awakening, me and a person who awoke along with me (a country apart, didn’t know each other, this all happened from a distance) we both referred to what was happening to us as “it.” That was how sophisticated our vocabulary was. We had no reference point, no context, nor a teaching to guide us. Overnight, innexplicably, we had a tellepathic connection (which was proven numerous times each week). “It” fit though, because how on earth would you describe “this” (we used that term also)? It also kept what was happening to us from prying eyes and ears since who would understand or believe it? There was no real context in which to put it in. When that’s the case, you create a language or vocabulary for it much like people who are dealing with it do today (witness the use of words like “downloads” and “portals” to refer to aspects of the experience). You create your own vocabulary to help describe what is happening to you.

How could it be, I wondered, that these books were described as heresy by certain people within the church when they so clearly revealed a sophisticated understanding of a very rare state of being?

When I first found these books and realized they were pretty clearly describing my state, I considered that it was a conspiracy that they were not just shoved aside, but that in many cases, the books that were part of an unnacceptable take on Christian thought were destroyed. Now however, I am realizing it was little more than a conspiracy of ignorance…and an easy trap to fall for by anyone who was not in the know, who hadn’t had the experience, or wasn’t initiated into the system.

Was it as many scholars have asserted, that these books were jibberish, mere speculation, and could not be tied to Jesus at all? Was it true that as some Orthodox apologists have said, that these people, called “Gnostics” were late-comers? Were they forging documents, slapping Jesus’s name on them in order to give their own “wild speculations and fantasies” more caché?

I have learned that the opposition will say just about anything in order to put a good man or woman down. Maybe this speculation was right, and my initial gut sense was all wrong. There were times when this certainly appeared to be the case.

This question put me on a 15 year journey where I made myself familiar with early Christianity. I didn’t spend years in seminary getting my doctorate in divinity, nor did I learn Greek or Hebrew. I knew next to nothing about the field and I just couldn’t square my sense that these early Christians were on to something of immense importance versus what those in what would become known as the Orthodox church had to say about these teachings. Something didn’t add up.

I have realized that while I lack the background in the history of early Christianity that many scholars in the field have, I have something most (perhaps nearly all) do not: I have the experience of awakening with all of its dizzying effects, signs, and symptoms. I have read at length even scholars who specialize in the Gnostic texts speculating about the meanings of the gospel of Thomas or Philip. My sense from the beginning was that these Gnostics were the real deal, and that these works constitutes a “lost Christianity” as Bart Ehrman has described it. Having said this, I will also say that they go far afield from the words of Jesus as we have come to know them. The difference between an esoteric system and an exoteric one (the Gnostics as we refer to them ate esoteric) is that esoteric systems have much greater production of documents because the followers keep having experiences and writing about them. In the case of these early Christians, they believed that the Christ was revealed to be within a person (some Gnostics considered Paul to be a bit of a hero because he writes in his letters that God revealed to him the Christ which was within him when he was struck by a blinding light on his way to Damascus). For the Gnostics, then, the crucifixion lost much of its importance because they found salvation from the awakening to the indwelling Christ.

I ask you: what teaching by Jesus ever made anything appear to be outside of ones self? The kingdom was all within one, and seeking was done inwardly. Those who “seek him” were seeking a quality that was already there. It is worth noting that this is precisely what most Eastern traditions that describe awakening say. It is also a completely different story that Orthodox Christians have put forward since about 100-130 A.D.

I will say, however, that there were times in my work on this subject where it looked like the Gnostics were a later “invention” or movement and could not be definitively pinned to Jesus. I was, for a time, considering that for as insightful as they were, there just wasn’t a connection to Jesus’s life. I got used to the idea that these were amazing people who spun their own insights into what the Christ was all about. Maybe they were a seperate development that still managed to “get there” even though they came later.

That was before I found out about the work of Walter Bauer who did a study or survey of documents from earliest Christianity, who, in the 1930’s (and before the discovery in 1945 of this cache of early books in Egypt) determined that heresy came first and Orthodoxy came later. Orthodoxy, based on Bauer’s work, placed Orthodoxy a hundred years after the heretics (give or take a decade or two). Source: Orthodoxy & Heresy In Earliest Christianity

Heresy has always been described by the church as that branch off of the “main vine” that represents a divergence from the central truths of the dogma (see church father Origen since he originated this concept). This begged the question: how could this be so in light of what Bauer found? This may have been the result of the church, a group within it, seeking to hide the truth about how things were in the early days of the movement. It could have been as simple as ignorance by another group who didn’t have the deeper teachings (and thus could easily not understand them even when they saw them).

Then there is the troubling reality that Bart Ehrman points out in his book Jesus Interupted which is that most of the discoveries we have made in the last 100 years of Christian documents are nearly all Gnostic (which is used to describe this group of Christians today—gnosticism meaning ‘one who knows’ or who has inner knowledge not attained through books or instruction alone). Ehrman asks pointedly, did the Orthodoxy not have anything to say that there have been so few new discoveries of Orthodox books or letters during the same time period? It is plausible, then, that Gnosticism was far more robust, engaged, and involved in the matters of Christian thought than the early heresy hunters would have us believe. The historical record is certainly showing us this in spades in this regard. In Bauer’s work he points out letters that show that the church gave up trying to convert Asia Minor because the heretics were so numerous and resistant to their message. It would be easy to just say they were deluded and utterly lost, but it hides the fact that this was a situation that had always been described as no big deal by those in the Orthodox wing of the church, something more like a few flies that needed to be swatted away as the Orthodoxy has tried to represent it as. No, “heresy” was much more developed than Orthodoxy was, and at a very early period. It begs the question as to which tradition was the original or earliest one.

When I think about what happens to our leaders today it is easy to see how each side in a political campaign seeks to demonize and dethrone the leader who is in the opposition. Those with the loudest voices wind up being heard and believed. We are well aware of the sentiment that the winners of a war get to tell the history as they want it told.

Orthodoxy won the war of ideas not because their thinking was superior but because they were more worldly and systematic in their willingness to take down what they considered an opponent. You can easily see just how harsh the rhetoric was by reading the writings of these noted antiheretics like Tertulian, St. Justin, and others like them. In fact, we know a lot about early Christian “heretics” because the diatribes about them were so long-winded (and detailed) by those who were opposing them. Christians don’t like the idea that there may have been a larger story here because they have lived with a version of a story they have come to know and love. But to say that a belief system is right simply because we have lived with it for 1600 years or more is not evidence that it is necessarily right or the final word. It only means that one group stamped out another group such that their knowledge base was silenced.

Yes it seems strange and foreign, and yet this is just what archeology has revealed and the voice that was silenced was showing us the very keys to the kingdom. These keys as I call them are a suit of methods that appear in the so-called Gnostic writings mostly found in the Nag Hammadi Libray but that are also found in documents discovered earlier like the Pistis Sophia. These documents describe the same phenomenon as those in Eastern schools of though which describe the process of enlightenment.

I am not suggesting that these people went to India, but managed it on their own and that the “ressurrection” of the soul was achieved by attaining a quality that one culture called Christ while another called it Buddha. As such, this knowledge wasn’t predicated on belief alone, but pointed to a universal quality that every person has regardless of race or creed.

Rumi, the great poet and mystic once wrote about how we all squabble over the names of things and that we try to differentiate the light falling in one place as fundamentally different from the light falling in another when it is all the same source, the same thing. I think Orthodoxy tried to do this in an effort to carve out its own seemingly unique niche when in fact it had discarded important elements along the way that would have enriched it tremendously.

The Mar Saba Discovery

Then along comes Morton Smith in the 20th century. Morton Smith claimed to have made a discovery of a book in Mar Saba near Israel in the early 1960’s that contained writing by Clement, a figure from early Christianity. Clement quotes lines from a book that he calls “Secret Mark” which was, as he described it, part of a private teaching Jesus gave to his closest followers. Clement emphasizes that these teachings were never spoken before the uninitiated, a situation Jesus cautions about even in the synoptic gospels when he refers to swine and pearls, those who were “without.” In this case, Jesus was pointedly obfuscating his teaching so the Gentiles could not understand lest they be saved. The book was intended for the “perfecting” of those who were followers of this Jesus.

Morton Smith took photographs of the document and when he returned later to examine the book again, it had vanished. It has not been seen since. Here’s the thing: forensic examination of the photographs themselves have established that the book is an authentic document of the era. Christian apologists go so far as to criticize the writing as being “too Clementine” which to me may well be enough to prove the point. The writing style is consistent with what historians know about Clement, who has many writings attributed to him. Those within scholarly circles who are Christian apologists set upon Smith in attack after attack, however.

The letter was about one thousand words and had been copied onto the endpages of a seventeenth century book which no one had ever mentioned before. The find shook the scholarly world, although it’s existance made hardly a ripple in popular Christian circles because the letter denounced the group involved as heretical. That seems to be enough for any reasonable believer of the faith, but it raised important questions for many who find the discoveries of this kind to be suggestive of what Bauer had found to be the case and which continuing discoveries like the Nag Hammadi Library texts had done two decades prior, which was whether we have been told the whole story. Here is an excerpt from an article in The Nation about the discovery:

These heretics, as Clement and Theodore saw them, claimed that they possessed a secret version of the Gospel of Mark. Jesus, they believed, had taught his followers that they were freed from the law and could do whatever they wanted without sinning. According to one of their Christian critics, Irenaeus, they actually thought they earned salvation by “doing all those things which we dare not either speak or hear of, nay, which we must not even conceive in our thoughts.”

The Nation, Gospel Secrets: The Biblical Controversies of Morton Smith, January 8, 2009, Anthony Grafton.

It is worth noting that as a result of scholarly research we now know that it was Mark’s gospel that was the earliest of all the gospels. While Clement denounced the teachings in Secret Mark, he did not say that this Mark didn’t exist. Here we have a proof that books like Secret Mark were later destroyed by the Orthodox church, with copies that have yet to surface. Consider what would happen if the prevailing attitudes and beliefs of today were against you, what would you do? Would you perhaps hide away the books that you do have in order to preserve them? If your books were unapproved of, they would be destroyed with fire.

While some scholars like Ehrman have suggested that the Nag Hammadi find may well have been an effort on the part of local Christians to free up space in their libraries by burying the collection several kilometers away, I am reminded of an email from Elaine Pagels recently that the burial of the NHL documents is well within the same time frame as the letter by Bishop Athanasius, written in 365 A.D. which spelled out what books were to be acceptable for use in the church. Every book Athanasius mentioned in his list is contained in the New Testament today. It was Athanasius’s letter that would set the die for all that would follow. Anything else would come under scrutiny and risk being remanded to the flames. Remember, before the printing press, books were copied by hand in what could take many months to complete. Burning one book or two could end an important thread within the early movement. Back then, in the first century, stories abounded about the life of Jesus, an oral tradition, that was only later written down after Jesus’s death.

This article is helpful to gain the full scope of the issue about how the New Testament was formed.

My thesis has been and continues to be that Jesus was a man who attained awakening. The books attributed to his private teaching happen to also describe what is known in India as kundalini. While there isn’t compelling evidence that Jesus had gone to India, there is no good reason to suggest that in order to awaken he would need to study under an enlightened guru either. It’s possible he got instruction locally from John the Baptist, or the Essenes. We just don’t know because for as a man as famous as Jesus is, there is a huge gaping hole that is unaccounted for in his life in terms of time. I never studied under a guru and managed to trigger the first initiatory steps into awakening on my own. Likewise, it is quite possible that Jesus did the same. All he would need would be a quality of intense curiosity and a drive to seek. I suspect that this is just what Jesus meant when he said seek and ye shall find. He sought, and he found. But what did he find? He described it as a world that was within each person. At no point does Jesus ever say that his kingdom was outside of himself. All of this was an inside job. So meditation would have been part of it, something Jews of the time were well familiar with. The right kind of meditation would do it, nothing fancy, but something that would serve to achieve a first release of inner emotional material followed by inner inquiry.

It turns out that I did precisely what the heretical Jesus prescribed, which was to remove what keeps one divided within the self. This is actually a prescription Jesus mentions in the gospel of Thomas and mentions in the gospel of Phillip. The way I achieved this was through a conversation with a holy man when I felt a long-standing frustration guilt, and frustration with the universe, afterwhich everything began to change. I unburdened myself of a giant knot that had me tied up for decades, it was almost like an insurmountable impasse for me at the time.

I suspect that the story of Jesus’s baptism was like this or served a similar purpose for him because in the Gnostic texts he is teaching about how to attain the kingdom by resolving what divides you within, and a teacher always relays to his or her students how they achieved it themselves. The elephant in the room is if Jesus was God why was he going to John to have his sin removed? Why did Jesus need baptism? He obviously felt like he needed it, and instead of seeking the God, according to Orthodox scripture, which had always been within him. It’s a huge leap around the question that Christians never seem to ask. I think that it is a perfectly reasonable question to ask and actually makes loads of sense once the private teachings are known and taken into consideration.

With John, who claimed he could relieve the burden of sin through ritual washing, or baptism, Jesus was relieved enough of his own burden for the first flashes of “the light” to begin showing through. Jesus also spent forty days fasting and praying in the wilderness near where John was located. I will point out that this is the same approximate time that the Taoists prescribe for awakening the secret of the golden flower, their take on the awakening process. Similarly, in Hindu practice the number of 40 to 45 days comes up a lot for a time frame. It takes some effort to break through the veil of the earthly self to attain to the “heavenly” one (regardless of what tradition you ascribe to). Orthodoxy glosses over this precisely because it knows nothing about these practices. Then, when presented with the very means to do so, they cried foul heresy. The kingdom thus was found and then lost within a few short generations. The apostolic era came to an end not because of some God-ordained event with dubious reasoning but precisely because people no longer had access to the teachings that would have kept the era chugging along nicely. All of the signs of the holy ghost, and of awakening, were gone because the knowledge had exited the building.

If Jesus had awakened, the libertine attitude shown in the works of some of the Christian mystics like the Carpocrations that Clementine was speaking out against in his letter mentioned earlier has a very good chance of being true. Awakening pushes you beyond the normally accepted mores of the time by virtue of the fact that the energy of awakening vivifies and stimulates the body in new and novel ways. The Hindu describe it as a libidinous force, a creative current that leads one to new levels of bliss that are experienced and described as orgasmic. It’s not that it is literally so, but that this is the only way to aptly describe it so it can be halfway understood. Awakening absolutely impacts the master glands of the body resulting in high outputs of all sorts of hormones. Kundalini a sexual energy? I have always felt that the energy of awakening stimulates all sorts of things, including libido. Kundalini does much more than just stimulating libido.

Many people who are awakened know about the futility of skirting issues. No, the energy seems to push us to leap headlong into the cleansing fire that is the holy ghost, the feminine aspect, what in India would be called Shakti or the Ida current. All of this is consistent with awakening, and there is no reason to think it wasn’t the case with Jesus.

The problem with the Orthodoxy was that none of the secret teachings made any sense to them. How was it possible that by finding the savior within, the Christ, one washed away ones shame of human sexuality? Or guilt, or any other issue that represents stored emotional material that awakening can help the person to clear? Awakening can do this, though. It cleanses and returns you to a renewed mind and state of being. It is a salvific force.

It is now more likely that Jesus did have a private teaching and that the synoptic gospels represent only a thin slice of a larger picture. While Clement railed against this “Secret Mark” as heretical, I ask the question: says who? On whose authority? Why should I pay any attention to someone who was never included in the private teachings of a realized master? Even when Jesus says “No one comes to the father except by me” Christians don’t consider how that statement could mean something significantly different than what they assume it does. In Jesus’s day he was the only person around who had attained to the level that he had, so yes, Jesus was the only game in town. Like any great teacher, if you wanted to get there quickly, you studied under him like any teacher anywhere who had a grip on the esoteric or hidden things.

It took a bit of courage to photograph and then publish the marks that showed up when kundalini rose a decade and a half ago. It was an odd thing to witness these marks, one on my right hip and another that emerged after a clearing of karmic material tied to my heart center several years later. The posts about this are in the archive. I include one from the heart below.

At first when I wrote about it, there was little comment about them, but after about a year comments began to come in with people describing similar marks who had been running searches for burn-like marks after spiritual events, and voila—they found me. Many tended to be either on the hips or near the shoulders. Then, a few years ago, a Japanese graduate student shared photos with me of his own marks which were nearly identical to my own, also on his hip and another like my heart center mark except at his throat chakra which following a kundalini awakening.

I thought that someone or something had done this to me, but as increasing numbers of people have come forward to describe their own burn-like marks, it seems to me that these marks may simply be what happens when strong energy is being released (because of its proximity to the energetic event tied to kundalini awakening). Intuitively it seems right that the marks could happen when energy is trying to move up the legs to the torso, and vica versa, and like an energy bolt used to traveling in a more or less straight line, it has to make a sudden turn and becomes impeded and marks result (this is my theory at this point). This could result in a burn or iritation to the skin. For me, I know that this is nothing mystical or “woo-woo” but serves as a physical trace of the energy in the physical. I also have not just marks that emerged around the time I awakened, but I have a persistent mark over my heart and recently that mark has moved.

It would be helpful if science were to take an interest in this observable phenomenon. Absent that, I am left to investigate and collect accounts by others with similar effects that have happened to them.

Three days ago, I noticed that the mark over my heart center has moved. It started at the lower sternum as you see in the photo. It has moved up by about 2 and a half inches, and the mark, which has tended to be circular, and which has been constant in its presence for years now has grown three times in size. It is less noticable but can be easily seen in the right light. It hasn’t waned in that time and resembles two semicircles that sit opposite each other along the vertical axis of my torso. The end of each semicircle doesn’t touch the semicircle beneath it, but the effect is seeing a near-perfect circle being formed (or at least suggested). I am observing it to see what it does after this move, if anything.

I often find it hard to describe what I feel because while I know that it became a novel but continuous state compared to how I felt previous to this experience of awakening, its constancy has led me to find it to be a new normal. How do you normalize supreme bliss? I spent years learning how to appear normal while speeding through another world within. It’s progress now that I can keep from needing to sit or lie down for an hour or two because the bliss is so strong. There were periods where I would be so blissed out that I would forget from one moment to the next what I was thinking about or even doing. It didn’t even matter in many cases. I can’t say that I handled it all that well in the beginning, but over time I learned how to carry that bliss while being able to focus on the kinds of things that would normally get wiped away by the thick blanket of bliss.

The effect of the bliss is that it has had a significant effect on dulling or eliminating a lot of pain in my body, and softening emotional pain. While this is helpful, even miraculous, I am concerned that it could make identifying a physical problem difficult in the future. Pain is an important feedback when things go wrong that need attention. I sometimes worry a little about this. Could I miss important signs of my imminent demise? The bliss says, “pipe down, it’s okay, just chill…” What’s behind the bliss? A cocktail of chemistry, I have found. It isn’t all just dopamine, but a good portion is based on my experience and investigation into it.

I disagree with Jana Dixon in her assertion in the Physiology of Kundalini that dopamine does not play an important role in the symptoms of kundalini. I have observed that high dopamine levels are responsible for being able to take part in the release process because while dopamine is a natural pain killer, the effect it had on me psychologically was that it made it possible for me to let go, and to stop “grasping” for the old familiar psychological patterns that were the basis of old beliefs and programming. What I experienced fell neatly into the realm of high dopamine levels. Additionally, I have found that in people with schizophrenia, the condition involves an inability to properly metabolize dopamine, resulting in a build-up in the brain resulting in the psychotic break if nothing changes. I found an online conversation of a group of schizophrenics who had gone off their medication just to see how long they could go without serious problems. One person said that he discovered his symptoms after a week were identical to kundalini. For me, this was proof that at the right level, dopamine is directly tied to elements that makes kundalini feel the way that it does. It may also be responsible for boosting psi ability in the brain by allowing the self to tune out the usual signals through the sensory cortex in favor of tuning in the nonphysical senses. Dopamine, it could be said, gives peoole a pleasant rush at one level, but could do much more at higher levels.

When I read accounts of people who smoked opium (a dopamine analog in plant form) many of the accounts described symptoms very similar to my own experience with dopamine. When the self lets go and surrenders, the chemistry instantly shifts away from the stress hormones of norepinephrine and adrenaline and into the softer more dreamy dopamine/oxytocin range of the spectrum. And who among us haven’t felt intense feelings of love during awakening? I am not suggesting that dopamine production is kundalini, I am suggesting that dopamine is the concoction that creates part of the experience of bliss in the body. This is all being coordinated at the nonlocal consciousness level. Dopamine doesn’t get produced or released until the signal from the consciousness comes. I will also add that I am aware that other compounds are in this mix, it’s just that the effects of dopamine were so easy to identify with some simple online searching. I do think that without a little adrenaline, dopamine tends to make me want to lie down for considerable lengths of time. It slows motor response, it has even slurred my speech and gave me the stereotypical “Buddha gaze” where eyelids are often at half mast. I wouldn’t rule out the presence in small amounts of DMT since in small amounts it has been shown to create bliss. I for one would like very much to test this in a clinical setting to see how DMT bliss compares to my own physically produced bliss compounds.

When this shift in the heart happened, what I count as the fifth in a five-layered process (tied to the koshas—each chakra is like an onion, kosha meaning “husk” and each layer aligns with the five major aspects of the energy body: emotional mental, physical, energetic, and spiritual). This means that each chakra can be cleared by kundalini up to five times as it acts on each aspect of the chakra and its koshas.

At this time, just a week before the change in location, I inquired in meditation to find out the nature of a hitch that I had for most of my life, which is a habitual tendency to move into poverty consciousness. This never made much sense to me in the past because I always had a capacity to get whatever I needed in life, so what gives? Just ask and it will be given.

I realized in the course of the inner inquiry that there were no limits that existed within, and what was causing it was a vestige remaining that came from growing up in a family where this issue seemed front and center. I was myself taken on a very fast journey through a space that I knew was my being and what felt curiously similar to a spaciousness that I experienced in the wake of the third clearing of my heart center in 2008.

In my recent meditation, my inner guidance took me through this vast open space and there was simply nothing there that would impede it (it was completely clear—a vast brilliant white space–my own connection to and experience of the divine white light capable of being anchored here by me in this life). Huh.

This was new to me because over the years this inner space was always cluttered with something. I grew accustomed to feeling the “remainder” of the stuck energy that had yet to be resolved, with the process always being where I saw, noted its presence (after a while of getting used to this process), knew it was there, but relied on the energy to get to it in its own time. I, as a result, never second-guessed the energy in terms of which block it would get to next because it was much better at getting it done than I could ever do on my own. That said, I did practice Qi Gung and meditation in order to ‘soften the ground’ so to speak in a hope of making things go more smoothly for this intelligent energy. It was my “project” and after years of doing this work sudden it became a wind-swept silence of a space.

“There is nothing there” my inner guidance said to me. There was nothing in my way, whatever that hitch was that I had was now gone. Looking back I realize that most of it was the result of other people who either expressed a poverty consciousness, or it was people near me who tried to connect me with it. Luckily those people have edited themselves from my life now and for the last three years I have been actively engaged in bringing my studio business back to life (with the greatest growth happening during the pandemic).

Within days events changed. I had cobbled together work from last month’s production in the studio, held an event, and in 20 years of doing shows and events, this one wasn’t just better than anything I had done before, it was head and shoulders beyond anything that I had ever done since I began the business in 1997. I thought it was a fluke until the next week’s event was just as crazy as the first. This was repeated a third time for good measure and the result was the same. The whole tenor of the business has changed. I am hiring part time help and the truth is, it wont be enough. A new chapter has opened up. The heart mark had shifted during this time, signaling a readiness to step into the next phase of the journey.

The curious thing about this is that I keep hearing that abundance is tied to the root or base energy center. I feel that for me, it all happens in my heart as a pivot point, a mediator, between root and crown centers. For whatever reason, this was the most natural outcome for me. How is that possible? Is it that when we do something with love, it can only really emerge best from the heart? Would it then be an outcome mediated by it?

All of this is the culmination of years worth of work, so while this recent development was a pleasant surprise, it was one step along a long line of steps. And why am I even saying this? It’s to show that there are different ways of doing this work, to convey that the moment someone says that something must happen a certain way, you can know there are many paths that lead to the same summit. The other side is my sense that none of this is supernatural but is, I think, natural. It’s physioligical and driven by an energetic force we unfortunately don’t know much about in a scientific way because so few researchers are willing to delve into it. We do have reams and reams of accounts both current and ancient by the people experiencing the phenomenon. It is described as a serpent in India. Based on how the energy rose up through my body, I can understand why. But there is no snake, there isn’t even a Shiva and Shakti meeting at the crown. Those are apt descriptions to say what it is like, no one thinks it actually is that. This is much the same as Jesus saying the kingdom is like a candle, or a treasure in a field. The kingdom isn’t literally those things, it is like those things. Based on my observations it is more likely that this energetic even is the result of the two brains, the left and right hemispheres finally synchronizing in a very particular way which leads to a sudden rush of energy and bliss flowing into the crown and radiating throughout the body. That may not sound terribly exciting, but how the mechanics sound and how it feels can appear quite different. Prana is just electricity?? It might be that a slight “over-volt” in the body is enough to supercharge the brain and kick the endochrine system into high gear where a host of hormones kick into high gear resulting in better health, sharper physical senses, and an expansion of cognition even into intuitive abilities. Clearly these burns or marks are the result of a real physical force, and the best explanation is an arc of electricity perhaps coupled with resistance at critical points where energy flows from and to the torso to the legs. It would help if someone with a technical background were to take an interest. How to rouse those in slumber?

Personally I suspect that the phenomenon represents an area of inquiry scientifically that would likely serve to challenge materialist views long held about consciousness as arising from matter rather than the other way around (which is what I think this is). It also has the potential to vault us into a new understanding of ourselves, and our potentials If only we can break the log-jam of enlightenment-era thinking (namely Descart who championed the idea that we are just biological machines entirely driven by the matter assembled that we call biological life). The incidence of marks that show around energetic events like awakening is one such example of real physical traces that help to anchor the phenomenon in something more than “woo-woo” and gets us all closer to “how-to” through an investigation of this field as a once-rare event that is fast becoming a more common phenomenon.

I know that it is entirely possible that my heart mark could help show the physical traces and existance of the chakra, not as a belief or notion promulgated by Eastern philosophy and esotericists, but as a reality that could serve to point to the system most directly tied to the forces of consciousness.

Additionally it could help us to understand the size of the chakra in the energy body. The fact that the mark on my heart emerged immediately after a heart clearing event, was the size of a dime at that time (in 2011), only to change size while also moving up my sternum by about three inches may have a lot to tell us about how this system behaves. While we may not have dozens of people for a half-decent study, we may be able to glean information from the few who do exhibit these markings as a response or reaction to the energy. Is this mark, which persists, the result of a strong energetic pathway that opened up in the wake of awakening and the release of emotional baggage? It feels electric to me, so that would be one clue for future investigation. I also sense that what might be increased electrical activity in my body may well be felt or read as bliss in consciousness. I see a connection with this energy serving to stimulate my endochrine system which has led to a host of positive physical results. It also, not surprises, has pushed libido a good deal, and with so many experiencers describing kundalini as a sexual energy, this effect may help us to understand why, while helping us to see how this energy impacts the body in a positive way (while understanding better how to support the physical organism so it has less chance of burning us out or experiencing negative side effects from the energy).

Currently most materialistically inclined thinkers think that the idea of the chakra is just speculative hogwash. I think that by upping our game on this front we could begin to show anecdotal evidence that this is more than mere speculation.

The problem I face is finding the people who are affected in the same or similar ways as I have in regards to the marks. While I have a handful of people who have reported having had simkar marks only one has been willing to share pictures which he took before the marks faded after the surge of energy that likely produced them faded. While I had a hip mark, my Japanese friend developed a mark at his throat chakra which is not that different in size and shape as my heart chakra mark. At this point, these kinds of numbers are not enough to convince any researcher that there is anything to it.

If you have experienced this type of phenomenon, I would like very much to know because it will help us to better understand this phenomenon and without data, there isn’t any interest. If you have images you can send them to info@staffordartglass.com. Your info will be held in confidence for any contacts that you make.

~Parker

All throughout this blog much of what I have written in regards to my personal experience related to the phenomenon of awakening has been to suggest directions in which we can all go, or consider as areas of inquiry about the unfolding nature and emergent nature of our consciousness particularly as it relates to “enlightenment” (for as much as I dislike the term) or awakening (which is much better I think since it more accurately suggests what is happening in the process). This is something that you have yourself. You only need enough interest and passion, to investigate it seriously enough to begin developing your own natural abilities.

Many masters who teach about the nature of enlightenment warn against filling the mind of the student with too many ideas about what to expect concerning any number of different facets of the journey to enlightenment. What often happens is, by not knowing, the student or neophyte builds up in their mind what they think the experience might look and feel like. By doing this, the mind creates an imagined image of something that in all likelihood is innacurate. The problem with this is that it represents a journey away from what is most essential. These things are so simple even a child knows how to relate to them. Be ye like children!

The other side of the coin is that as sentient beings, we have the operations for enlightenment already within us. The Buddha sleeps in all, and when it awakens, it reveals what is most essential or true when the personality can listen to it with the innocence and open curiosity of a child (with no assumptions taken on). If one does what was prescribed for reaching the awakened state, there is nothing else to teach because the innermost knowing, the cosmic consciousness of the Hindu the Tibetans, Taoists, or the gnosis of the early Christians, is revealed or made manifest. Even as I say this, though, there can be the expectation that awakening is an arrival, suggesting to some that upon awakening I will know all that needs to be known when in fact this knowing operates more like an onion that we peel back layer by layer to the degree that the personality (and ego) are ready to examine and be open to this new knowledge. It is possible for the personality to be resistant to an important truth in the process, and as a result, the information or awareness of that information can be kept out from personal awareness and ones experience.

In reality the ordinary person is laboring, unknowingly, under the operatiom of countless inner programs which directs her attention which we call beliefs. It is hard to know or to realize the degree to which these beliefs govern perception or awareness. All who labor under them do not know that they do so, and are completely unaware that belief is governing them.

When I say belief, I mean any number of ideas which a personality can hold. It can be beliefs about how the person thinks the world works, which can include beliefs from the culture (often reflected in words like “values”), politics, and religion or spirituality. The hardest beliefs to identify are the ones that don’t seem to be beliefs at all. There is a very neat trick we play on ourselves sometimes when we tell ourselves that we don’t believe in something. “I don’t believe in this Judeo Christian concept of God” and the self then thinks it is being naturally innoculated against belief. In truth, this is itself a belief, one in which the world is devoid of a superconscious whose existence gave direction or form to the worlds we know today. What results is an end to any meaningful investigation along these lines of an inner direct manner.

What this belief does is it builds up an artificial wall within experience and perception that then says (without pronouncing it loudly), “I will disregard anything pertaining to the existence of a divine presence!” The self perhaps believes this because the stories written about God strike them as preposterous or unlikely, maybe more reflective of our ideas of what a God might be like (which of course many stories about God do contain). What is lost is the path to what a god might actually look like or be beyond the world of built-up ideas, legends, myths and tales (i.e., beliefs).

We all have the ability to know just about anything about the universe. I know that may sound impossible to some, but one thing I learned early on in my awakening process is that beyond the island of our carefully managed beliefs is an ocean of knowledge just waiting to be tapped into.

It’s interesting how a belief, which we tend to feel is so completely true can in fact misdirect us so much. The reason why it does this is how belief requires the mind to stop probing and sensing inwardly. This probing is called the intuition, and part of it involves the nonlocal or universal mind. Some call this the higher self. In truth all designations have truth and each are connected to the other so that yes, it is universal mind AND it is the higher self AND it is the accumulated wisdom of the self that you are right here, right now.

Belief involves a suspension of critical examination, part of the logic process, that shuts down any effort at questioning the belief. Belief has at its core a circular motion whose only purpose is to perpetuate itself. This is how silly ideas have been perpetuated for thousands of years largely unchecked.

As humans, we are so used to using the rational mind as if it is the end-all and be-all of intellectual determination, when in fact logic only plays a very limited role in this process. The part of the mind and brain that handles logic has no intuitive capacity. Logic is a tool that was designed to be used by the intuitive self for testing its knowledge. It isn’t the knowledge itself, but is a process by which things can be known experientially. Logic, then, would be the discipline that would allow you to properly investigate the evidence of God existing in all of matter, for instance. How that is done is an investigative process when the intuition either does not know or knows so well that it gives up its knowledge so clearly that the logic-driven experiment is simply known without needing trial and error to reveal the correct steps in the experiment. Both instances are possible but it seems that unless a person is clear or knowledgable of the steps required that some trial and error is required. Einstein knew in an intuitive flash the ideas behind Relativity but spent years working out the math to explain it, for instance.

It sounds impossible that the mind could know what the self has no experience with, but this is precisely what intuition can do. You might be like Einstein and see the core of the math as phenomenon without knowing the math at all. It is instead experienced directly as a felt experience. Feeling is operative in having intuition work well. It is the opposite of logic.

The most important part in learning to cultivate intuition is being alright with having no formulated ideas about how a given inquiry will go. Will we find God lurking in the subatomic particles? Who knows, it’s a mystery. Let’s keep our mind completely open.

The mindset most necessary to nurturing intuition in my experience is this attitude. It assumes nothing at all. In fact, the more you can learn to let the mind be a blank screen, the more likely you are to catch glimpses of what is actually out there. In this case, the radio is not talking to itself but is in contact with the multiverse. I am trying to show you how to be a gifted channel for the universe. Intuitive is receptive and has often been seen as feminine while logic is more masculine. These are qualities every person has, so everyone has an equal opportunity to be able to develop it if that is their interest.

The more you can completely suspend belief, the better you will be at receiving, like a radio, the information that exists “out there.” While this has been central to the investigative and psychic method known as remote viewing, it is also how many of the most gifted psychics operate: completely blind. Doing this, while disconcerting for some at first, is the only real way to go when doing this work. It requires a suspension of ego, and self as the judge of experience. There is a lot of very neurotic habits tied up in needing to know to the point where one becomes rigidly fixed in ego and the personality and all of its previous experience, now controlled and filtered by its conglomerate of beliefs, traumas, and habits, so that the deeper truth may have no hope of ever emerging. There is simply too much competing material.

This also suggests that releasing stored emotion is another strand in the path to becoming more intuitive. Experience has shown that the best intuitives are those who have been at this work for lifetimes and is often an outgrowth or consequence of a deep abiding desire to know the truth and not a version of it. This is most often driven by a great love within and a devotion for truth. It often means stripping the self bare, often of cherished notions, just to know what is real or true. This forms itself into a multi-lifetime journey that takes time to develop and mature into. It may be that you have done this work before and are reading this now because you need to be reminded. If you have no experience with this, this might be the catalyst that starts the process. It isn’t like you will have to wait lifetimes because its capacity is already in everyone. You need only to know how to bring it out. Experts may have been at it before, but this is a capacity all humans have.

To cultivate this in your life requires practice. Most assume that the logical part of the mind is superior, and so always grasp for that reflexively. Can you differentiate between logic and intuition? Do you know it when you feel it?

In truth, logic is inferior to the part of mind that can know the cosmic, which is a completely different part of the brain from the logical linear left hemisphere. It isn’t that the brain creates or generates these experiences, but more that they both receive, like a biological radio, signals from the nonlocal consciousness that exists outside of time and space and is thus transcendent by its very nature. The personality thus does not realize how naturally psychic that it is.

The most uncomfortable condition for many along this path is being okay with not knowing. The most important skill to my mind in this work is getting used to not knowing, or being a blank slate. When you can do this, you do not engage the part of you that grasps. This is always the logical side of self. It thinks that is the path to success. Only in its limited way is this true.

What I want to point you to is how to not grasp, instead, holding your hand (your mind) open. When you do this, all the sands of all the deserts flow through your hand. Try and grasp it, and you only get a bit of grit.

The intuitive right brain operates best when wide open so that it can be the expert channel that it is. It knows nothing and yet can know All. The skill in using it lies in knowing when it is being used then trusting that when the sand flows that it can see the one single grain that you wish to see. It’s intelligence is a mystery how it does what it does. When I use it to locate a friend, it shows me the scene where she is in this very moment. I note the time, I jot down the details, and I ask her what she was doing between 11:00 a.m. to noon EST. I never know what I will see or be led to. Sometimes intuition will work on its own. You pluck a book randomly off a library bookshelf, pop it open, and find the very page that answers your question from an hour before.

Putting my money where my mouth is, I did all my research for a chapter in a book using only the intuitive as the way. Instead of researching authors and finding dead-end after dead-ends after spending hours in the library, I instead would accidentally discover passages in books that contained the informatiin that I needed. People would mention sources without my hsving mentioned needing the source—this was all serendipity. This happened numerous times. I already knew the material but I needed additional sources more than just me saying it for the book. This worked beautifully. Intuition brought me to sources within moments instead of days or weeks of searching card catalogs or reading extracts, for example. This all seems impossible, but for the intuition, anything is possible (or nearly so). Anyone can do what I do. This is the entire point for me writing this to you.

The good thing about this is you can test yourself and work to hone your skill in this area. When you get a miss, it requires, for me, to go back and think carefully about what I was doing at the time. Chances are, I assumed something or thought something instead of abiding with the information. I inserted an assumption somewhere. It usually isn’t a mere miss, but because I inserted something from my mind into the flow of information.

There are many benefits to doing this work. It reveals how neurotic we can be in needing to know and to control our environments when the impulse to control is itself the antithesis of genuine knowledge very often. By clearing the mind you can enter into silent presence, which is a great way to feel the soul of the world or the presence behind all things. It leads to deepening relaxation and the untying of emotional knots within the self. It is an undoing that feels like a threat to the neurotic, to those who always needs to know what’s happening and how to manage it. It undoes the fundamental lack of trust in the world as a safe place to be. There is no need to rush—we have plenty of time (lifetimes in fact). It can lead you to your fundamental nature as a creative being, a creative energy felt as bliss.

You have to learn to trust yourself and to depend on yourself to do this work. Start simply, inquire, and practice. If you keep the findamental ideas in place, any practice (not built on belief) will likely work.

I had been telepathically connected to her, tied as it were, after an effort on her part to pull me into her field forcefully at the point of her awakening. This was all done nonlocally. Anyone who says “twin flames” cannot force you to do anything you don’t want to do hasn’t experienced what I did. It was the equivalent of having someone charge into your inner life unbidden, unasked, and insinuating themselves into your life.

You might want to believe that these connections are divine and predetermined, or the result of a process where there are no mistakes. I can confirm that the wild card is human will and when it is exercised unconsciously we want to call it “fate” or the “will of God.” I can say that it is possible for these connections to be forged without our consent and against our hopes dreams or desires. It’s one of the things that hardly anyone will tell you because most feel so caught up in the engine of bliss that it can blind them to a world of faults. I think that the bliss keeps one from critically examining the phenomenon. Perhaps that is part of the point, a cosnic stab at unraveling our own personal errors in the hope of returning everything back to love. “Shush….all of those things are details, all that matters now is love. Now comes the age of forgiveness” it seems to say in the light of experiences such as the one I encountered in early 2011.

I am one who tries to make lemonaide out of those lemons, so at one point after dozens of preturbations and freakouts and contractions on her part, I ceased trying to help outwardly. I just stopped. I then began speaking to her higher self. Clearly, for as upside down as this was, it must surely be an effort on the part of her self in time and her soul (unbound by it) to get the memo on her own, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes it is with the aid of angels whose unsung roles are at work in the bakground.

I got the idea of just speaking to her soul instead to the self after realizing that she was always locked in one drama or another. I sat quietly on my bed before sleep and focused my attention on her and I began to tell her how beneficial bliss is for healing, in the hopes that she might inquire further into the topic on her own. When I was stripping paint from trim outside my house a few days later, my mind would again speak to her, and it would be all about the power of bliss. I would do what I could to slip the idea in through back channels instead of telling her directly. If I told her directly, I knew she would resist it because of her egoic innability to accept what I offered to her as truth. Instead, I made it so it would seem it occurred to her herself. It turned out that it worked very well.

After a week of my daily meditations and inward sugestions to her about the benefits of bliss, she started asking me about bliss out of the blue. There was no better confirmation that something was working than this. Here was a topic we had never spoken about at all and now she was suddenly asking me about it. I kept quiet about my inner suggestions and began to tell her about the benefit of bliss. She asked me in a morning text exchange that first week, “So do you feel bliss?” I replied that I did feel bliss. She asked how often. I explained that it tended to be nearly constant. She responded as if she couldn’t believe that a person could do that. I assured her it was possible, and that I had reached that in my work. She wondered how that was even possible. It was here that I knew that a transfer was possible because I did truly feel bliss most of the time and that she was becoming open to the idea that this state was possible for a person. It had taken years for me to come to such a place (feeling bliss in this way).

Those with whom we share these connections can feel what we feel to greater and lesser degrees, depending on how the personality is set up. In her case there was a lot of resistance and fear which got in the way sometimes of an aligning between portions of the self that can benefit from this type of work. When I would think of her she would feel it but she interpreted it as my wanting to be involved with someone else. She once messaged me explaining how she could feel my desire for another woman, how I would kiss her, even. At the time I let her think what she wanted to think because it served to drive her away from me (I was stalked for years by this person), but the truth was, it was her that I was thinking about. This helped me to see how we can receive information very clearly, but we can step in a distort with our personalities the meaning of the information. There was an edge of concern that she might distort what I was sending her.

Being able to do the work completelly on the etheric or subtle level because of how much ego was present in this case was a good outcome and was probably the ONLY way she was going to learn how. It was better to let her think it was all her own idea…and the thing was, it was because she had to first accept the idea from me as if it was her own. You can’t make them accept an idea but you can use your telepathic connection to plant seeds. Just keep planting them and don’t need to be the one who gets the accolades. Most growth happens this way which is the result of seeds having been planted in this way.

When she began asking me about this bliss, it was then a very simple matter to transfer to her the awareness the bliss field or bliss body to her telepathically while also using our verbal communication as one medium of focus and exchange for an event that was largely taking place internally or etherically.

I said that it was very easy to feel bliss and all she needed to do was to follow the steps that I spelled out to her which involved breathing and focusing only on the breath. I told her how to breathe and the breaths to take. I was breathing in bliss and breathing out bliss, transmitting outward as she breathed inward. Understand, I was not THE source for the bliss. I know that what I feel as bliss is just the awareness of a field of bliss that exists. I am a miner of gold that already exists, you see. I could hold my hands out etherically to her and have her respond because of the nature of our entanglement or connection. I didn’t need to say this was happening, and it it’s best that you do not mention it. Feel it, then transmit it directly through feeling. You become a lighthouse. Understand, this is only for things that WILL directly benefit them (not you). Anything less is manipulation and generates negative karma for yourself.

In the moments during my breathing suggestion, she very suddenly began feeling bliss run all through her. I knew at that moment that the door had opened for her and as long as she didn’t respond with fear, this state would grow and establish itself. It was so easy to do, really. She just had to be open to it Bliss is not what you do, it is what you are, so this is easy if the right things are in place. I explained that she had gotten it and that she could go back to it anytime that she wanted, another neat trick of suggestion, which forms the very useful belief that this state can he accessible at any time or in any place. From all accounts, it has been precisely this for her. It worked because it was all based in what is true. Bear in mind, it could have gone a different way, in which case I would need to have dropped the idea after a while. There is something important about not wanting it or needing it too much, or obsessing over it too much.

Sometimes it is easier for the egoically inclined to think they are doing all of this themselves, especially someone like the person I had to deal with for a time. Tricky? Maybe a little, but it wasn’t an effort to manipulate her but to provide for her something thst she sorely needed in her world as what I refer to as her role of “professional victim.” Its hard to know how dissempowering such a state of mind is to us when it is you who are buried in it. In fact, there is no use in even trying to explain it. It is easier to plant seeds in the hope that they will take root (all of this is done nonlocally).

I tell you this because you might be dealing with someone you are connected to that has been hard to deal with. This method or approach could be of some benefit. In order to feel it best, you have to feel it natively in your own skin first and then imagine whatever that state of mind is, being offered, not pushed, on the other over and over. Do this at various times during the day. Don’t be obsessive about it, treat it as a casual thought without a hope of an outcome. You do though, offer up the suggestion of its benefits as you feel them yourself (because through you they will feel it).

I later found out that gurus in India teach their students in this way by holding certain states in mind, which students will tend to pick up on in meditation. I thought how perfect.

In the Indian tradition they said what a great responsibility it was for the guru. I myself thought how easy all of this was, how this method made growth and healing much easier when I stopped trying to help outwardly and began working inwardly. Perhaps it can be a subtle way to help the other grow and heal. It is like osmosis.

~Nemasté

Boy, this has taken a bit of courage to post especially given my stance on using substances for altering consciousness in the past. Gulp. I am writing, though, to share an observation and point something out that happened in the event that you are interested in taking a deeper look on your end. Or not.

July 1st 2021 was the day that the prohibition of marijuana ended in the state of Virginia. Not long after that, a friend stopped by the studio after having obtained weed. All legal, now, and what a strange place to be I suppose.

If you read my blog you will see that I advocate natural means for reaching alternate states of consciousness. While Terrance McKenna didn’t believe it was possible to enter into the numinous without DMT or psilocybin, I know different. While I very much respect what these early psychonauts were attempting to do, theirs was just one path or road to “Oz.” In a way I would have liked to have spent some time with Terrance explaining to him how I came across this naturally. I don’t think it would have changed his mind, though. For his generation he had found a viable way of gathering knowledge and experience that in many ways is perfectly valid because of how broad and far-reaching consciousness is. My way took longer so it was not a path meant for the impatient. People get bored quickly.

While under the influence of a drug we say that our consciousness has been altered. Has it really been “altered” unnaturally? We have receptors for all kinds of substances that are found in nature that allow us to experience what those agents do to us. We also have bodies that produce many of those compounds naturally also. You can see that I might appear like I am hemming and hawing. The truth is, I think that plant agents can be very helpful if used judiciously and not used so they become like a crutch. That said, what I hear from friends who have used marijuana for years illegally, is that it is far superior for cutting anxiety and helping with sleep than drugs that leave them feeling out of sorts and with other unintended symptoms (“may cause intestinal bleeding, rapid heart rate, shingles, fear of the unknown, sleeplessness, and dizziness”).

Recently a friend offered some of the devils lettuce to me and I decided that I would take a very small amount because I was curious to see what effect it would have on me now that I have awakened. I decided quite unexpectedly that I would give it a go after many decades of having sweared it off. I explained to my friend that one reason why I didn’t smoke the stuff was because it made me feel like I could feel this immensely large consciousness very close to me and I explained that I could not tell if that consciousness was me or if it was something else. It made me feel very….self conscious too! My friend looked at me and just smiled. I realized she had no idea what I was even talking about, and I kind of felt funny even mentioning it. That’s one reason why I don’t talk much about any of this stuff because I inevitably wind up sounding like I am crazy. Or baked.

“I’m not baked! It just sound like I am!”

After my friend left to go home, I was free to turn my attention inward, which I was eager to do to see if I could trace the contours of my awareness and see if I noticed anything different about it. Obviously I felt different, yes, that was the drug, but what about whether it might confer something interesting in regards to awareness? It all happened quite quickly.

At first I thought it was my imagination. It seemed real, but ever the scientist, I needed some form of proof one way or the other. What had happened was my mind turned to my two children who live on their own now, having grown up. When I thought of them I had the distinct impression that my mind was locking into their own vibration and that I was seeing through their own awareness, something that had not happened before in the way it was happening on that day recently (I keep my distance so as not to spy on my kids). It was novel and different from what I have experienced in years past when I had a connection to someone or when I was running some strong energy that would have an effect on my awareness. I don’t mean to sound contradictory; when awakening came there was a slew of phenomenon that I was peppered with and they all seemed to just happen without knowing how or why. Yes, so I was psychic from having awakened. The Hindu write at length about this, it is a sign of attainment. And everyone is a little different, none of this is a competition. In those earlier cases, my perceptions would become more sharp or would open up more. This would mean I would feel what others around me were feeling. The difference between then and now was that back then I felt like I was tossed bodily into the experience. I felt like I had little say-so about it. I felt it bodily, but what I was feeling or experiencing recently was a lot more controlled. I felt it more as though I was in control of myself, and I had the distinct impression that something in my awareness was able to just slip into these thought-streams and it certainly had the distinct feeling like that was exactly what was happening. Still, maybe it was just my imagination, maybe it was the weed. I took a few moments and surveyed the landscape of the mind of one child and when I decided to pull out of it, it was like breaking the surface of the water and I was out of it. In fact, it was like waking up from a dream where it got to be a little hard to even remember what it was I had just seen and experienced.

Reflexively, my mind turned to my second child, and the experience was completely different. I experienced what felt like a panic attack, but it was unlike any kind I have myself ever experienced before. It came on very fast and then was gone very quickly. While I was experiencing this, it felt completely real to me. What’s more, it showed me something about my child that I had not considered previously. I had seen these sudden outbursts before and I had not understood them, two had happened just recently when I was helping with a move from one apartment to another. It had thrown me for a loop. It was upsetting, and I was left at a loss as to what on earth had just happened. Was it possible that I had gotten inside someone’s head? Was it possible that I was now seeing or experiencing what this child sometimes experiences? In similar fashion as the first experience, when I was out of it, it felt like popping out of the ocean, moving from one phase or mode into another. I was now back in my own local focus. When had that happened before the way I had just experienced it? I couldn’t say that I had experienced reading someone like that in the way I had just done. The difference was that I felt like I was in control of the experience. I was able to pull out when I was ready. I felt like there was this observer in me that was able to watch and then feel what this emotional and mental material meant (or seemed to mean). Still…was it just the weed that had done this, had created the appearance of this phenomenon? Like I have said, it felt like the real thing.

The memory of the experience kept at me the rest of that afternoon. By that evening, I resolved to call my child to compare notes. My only concern was there might be no interest in talking about any of this, but when I did call there was no resistance to discussing it. I was so relieved. I remembered what a psychic friend of mine explained to me many years ago who said that often when we read someone and really see them, when we see them next, they will often tell you everything about what it was that you had seen perhaps a few days or a week before. She explained that it was like some part of them knew that they had been seen, and this is something that sparks a response even if it comes from a more subconscious state. We know, but we don’t know that we know. Perhaps we suddenly feel like we want to tell that person our life story, or one part of it. I had experienced this before with a number of people who I had read in similar ways before, so I had seen some evidence of this being a thing. “Read them and then they will then speak back to you everything that you saw, which is a very good way to confirm without needing to ask that what was seen was accurate.” What was remarkable was how much of a breakthrough it represented in my understanding of another person. It became clear to me that what was experienced was in line with what my child experiences.

The feeling that I had when this scan happened was a sense that I was going deeper into my mind than I normally go. I don’t know how else to describe it than that. I had the distinct impression that I was using or utilizing a part of my brain that doesn’t normally get used and it felt like it was a deep innermost core part of brain and self. Each time that I had this experience happen, I was aware that I was in this very deep place within that had been made possible with the use of the marijuana. Maybe it is a little bit like what we do when we channel? No, strike that; it didn’t feel quite like that. No one was taking me over. I was slipping into a mind-stream and my own inner perceptions were analyzing and sensing what was taking place or what exists within their mind-field of thought and feeling. That is what it seems like from my vantage point right now. One outcome was that I understood a little better how my child might get triggered by me or something I say or do. It was helpful because by being more aware of what I say or do or how I interact, I can in some instances head the triggers off at the pass.

It feels like I have gone full circle in my work and my experience with kundalini. In the beginning, I was swept up by the force of the energy and I had all kinds of unusual experiences taking place that I seemed to have no control over, they simply would happen. I would know things, I would walk past someone on the street and I would feel their painbody or their load that they were carrying around. I didn’t seem to have any control over it or when or how it would happen. Now, though, it felt much more controlled. It felt like I had found that place in the center of my brain where there is this transceiver. It felt just like that. It felt like I went into a place don’t normally go that was quite deep and it was there that I could see in this “new” way. Yes, I have had experiences similar to this before, but now it was also different. Now, it was controllable, more intentional. At first, I felt like I was spying to be honest. But then I also realized, if what I was experiencing was on the mark and not just imagined, then this kind of insight could help me to better understand the behavior and reactions of others who are near me.

Clearing the inner junk is critical for being able to fine tune your inner senses. This is why doing the “work” not only helps you to be free from the distortive effects of your own repressed emotion, but it also can make you clearer as a seer or psychic. It makes your life more peaceful as you integrate the truth of who you really are in a concrete way in your inner sensory landscape. I have seen in myself how stored emotional material can get in the way of inner sensing work. I have also seen in another person that I knew very well who was constantly projecting her own mental illness onto me or others whenever she “read” them. The problem was how readily apparent she was drawing from her own inner index of past material but was unable to see how it was clouding her own inner vision. Another friend who is an established psychic with years of experience counseling others is someone who has worked doggedly most of her adult life to clear and cleanse herself of stored emotional material, and the result is that she can do cold readings that have an incredible level of accuracy. The only difference is one person has done the work and the other person still has a lot of work left to do. So let this be a lesson to you; do your work! One sure sign of what you are seeing is inner material being projected onto the other person is that fear is often involved. When I felt my child I didn’t feel fear, I simply experienced something on a visceral level but I can’t say that “I” was the one feeling it. I was sensing it, yes, but I knew it didn’t originate with me….and that is, I think, the small but significant difference. Mind the gap.

So did weed make me more psychic? Did it open part of my mind in a way that it helped to catalyze this new shift into awareness? Possibly. I find myself having to admit that I will have to conduct a few more controlled experiments first to see if I can more completely confirm what it is exactly that has ben taking place. For all I know this might be something specific to me, but then again, it might not be. I think it is worth taking a look at, especially given how after decades of negative press about marijuana the results are showing that instead of being dangerous, that it has medicinal qualities and for this person, it is a great sleep aid. Much better than taking some complex pharmaceutical compound that might leave you with a host of undesirable side effects.

I’m not rushing out to buy and use. I am, however, quite keen now on seeing what else it might suggest to my consciousness as directions to go. Sometimes a compound in a substance will act like a trap door in our consciousness which we can then go back without the compound in us and recreate through our own native chemistry. How? We meditate on the state that the substance produced in us originally. Does that sound strange? Turns out, people describe how they can recall the states experienced with psychedelics in such a way that they don’t have to actually take the drug again in order to produces its effects in consciousness. THIS is how the plants can help us. We can recreate their effects in our bodies and consciousness if we simply focus on them and remember their effect so clearly that the body itself produces the effect that we are thinking about (which the body is expert at doing). It is amazing when you think about it: if you focus on feeling a certain way, your brain will see this and then your body will begin putting out the chemistry for the state you are imagining.

So? I guess my views on using substances has changed. There is nothing wrong with using them if you understand what you are going into. Psychedelics have been known to help people perform some of the same “exorcisms” of emotional material as kundalini does. There have been a lot of recent studies in this area that involve the use of magic mushrooms that have had some very amazing results for those involved in the studies who took the mushrooms, and were more positive in result than other drugs that are legal to use which can produce many undesirable side effects. That isn’t to say a psychedelic wont produce some intense experiences for the person, the difference is that often when faced with a negative experience, the issue is often being brought up to be healed. Just noticing and seeing that emotion fully for the first time can be enough to break the bonds it has in our subconscious. Ergo, it can be, however hard, a path to authentic healing. And no, it isn’t for everyone.

Absent the drug effects, it seems that all of the same requirements are the same: face the fear or the emotion, see it for what it is, let it play through you but remain dispassionate in relation to it (don’t grab back at the emotion in order to keep it) and it just goes “poof” and is gone forever. Ayahuasca does the same with a lot of vomiting and being led to facing old repressed emotions and fears in order to overcome them. DMT seems to offer some emotional release effects as well. But I think at what point do these things become crutches? No one will know except you. As for me, I am now a little more curious than before and is an old dog who is learning some new tricks.

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