Archives for posts with tag: ascension

Part of me didn’t want to come here, but another part had made a promise to.

This world is like the womb of heaven. It awaits its opposite to bring heaven to earth. It is how the soul guaranteed that we would enter into relationship: with ourselves, with each other, with matter itself. Our myths contain elements about this union of opposites. I see them as much in us as in the world…for we are a part of it. We are learning about the aspects related to creative energy. As our relationships often bear out, we are imperfect with it. These polarities exist in our two brain hemispheres, our two sides (left and right) mirror it as do the sexes, the yin and yang. The great secret is it has been in us as well as outside of ourselves.

This relationship is multidimensional in nature, existing at many levels at once. It is in the atom, the cell, the soul, and exists as a unifying element that can lead us to our salvation. It can also lead us to our doom if we refuse to understand it.

Presence here, to be more realized, has always meant breathing awareness into this world, into ourselves, to bear heaven to earth, to recognize a trinitarian consciousness whereby two opposites within merge and birth a third consciousness, a synthesis of the two, an ascendant aspect or quality in our consciousness that leads us each to a greater life, better awareness, and with time: bliss. Some fold that quality into higher vibrational relationships that offer redemption and cleansing. It can also be done alone, and is done alone (even when in relationship). It is along one end of the spectrum of awakening dealing with the archetypes of the divine feminine and masculine.

This redemption isn’t achieved by believing that earthly existence is somehow flawed, broken, or inherently bad. It is instead waiting for us to make it into what we will. Each one of us has a part to play. You need only listen to your own inner voice. The Buddha within points to this inner knowledge as did the Christ…and both tend to point away from physical life as some ultimate answer seems to loom. The ultimate has always been here in the power of the present moment.

The delights here are a mirror of what exists in spirit. They always have. To what degree are we each good at translating that reality here on earth? Right. There is a lot of work to be done.

I find that the way into this work is to regard our experience here as filled with possibility and adventure. The sensual need not be eschewed, for our desire isn’t a force leading to our downfall, but to its opposite, if we can realize what the forces are at work: opposites not made to snare you, but to teach you. When we surrender to them a transcendent quality in us knows just what to do.

Be an earthling, take part in its wonders, know that this is a place to learn, a place where we each agree to dream an experience that has in the past felt like a “fall” into density. I came here to raise that dense vibration up by adding something to it in my own personal experience…to experience it, to share it, and then to tell at least one or two more souls about the alchemy that our souls and bodies bear. So much shame that was not necessary.

For me, the height of the spiritual is seeing the physical as an important part in the cosmic play. This is not a place to be feared but a place to be redeemed…and we are the ones whose beliefs need to be remade and redeemed.

Physical and spirit, two ends of a spectrum. I leave you with the words of a man who got it:

Just a note, I don’t know who needs to see this, but for those who have done clearing work, the act of allowing the force of prana (often expressed as kundalini, but not always) then you are familiar with how this works. If you aren’t, there are numerous modalities that can help, with or without an abundance of prana present. Many of them involve movement of the body: deep tissue massage, chi gong, ecstatic dance, acupressure/puncture. Whether the stuck emotion is in the body or there is an important feedback from the body for unlocking stuck emotion, the body plays an important role.

The release of stuck energy is a bit of a rabbit hole, though, and this is because the energy body has five nested aspects that make it up, which is your full energetic expression on this plane. This means that you can clear an energy center once, twice, three times, and on up to FIVE times. It can be a bit mystifying sometimes. When it happened to me, I wondered if I had somehow missed something. This was the result of these layers of the energy body that in the Sanscrit is called ‘kosha’ which means sheath. The energy body is like a multidimensional nesting doll, with multiple aspects all nested one into the other. This is why you might have a fabulous clearing of the root chakra only to come back the following year to be at it, clearing it again.

Koshas are like the layers of an onion.

The clue here that you aren’t just clearing new material you managed to store away, is how the center feels each time you perform a release. It is like entering a room, say the living room, and it feels completely different and even looks different as you enter each of its different aspects. It’s possible to clear a center five times, and each clearing feels as if you are in a different space.

Clearing the heart center years ago left me wondering what was going on. Hadn’t I already had a dramatic clearing already? I shrugged and figured it would make sense later. It did, luckily, as I found by accident the concept in yoga of the koshas.

I found that by clearing material in the heart, it got hard for me to relate to certain people the same way as before. Turned out, we shared an energetic arrangement and karma that created a kind of tense ‘cord’ between us. I was able to observe what dissolving that glitch in me did to another person who was not ready for change. Now this is highly individual. One person might just feel an emptiness tied to peace, but another person who is invested in their inner junk could feel unsettled. I saw how many of my releases definately impacted my then-wife who, it turns out, was not a person interested in doing any inner work to speak of. Meltdowns ensued within 12 hours of each release. This happened over a dozen times. The important thing to remember is I never told anyone about my releases as they happened, so this type of coincidence goes beyond coincidence in my book (most likely probably 🙂 )

This work has also meant that by releaaing so much, it effectively allowed me to step over the wall of people’s own limits as a personality on Earth to go into the realm of their soul so that I could feel the sublime character of souls in communion….even as that person could not feel what I felt and seemed incredulous about my insistence that I could feel what I felt. Since all of our hopes as social creatures is to have the other share in the experience, it is like having someone meeting you in a restaurant but who can’t see you when you show up. It has happened before, and it is a sign that real substantive work is being done. It can also be lonely, too.

Just as an aside, this is why I often say traditional methods of psychic protection are not that effective by putting up resistance. What happens perceptually with ANY consciousness is when you change your energy signature to something finer, it is difficult for others to see you or sense you etherically. Lower level entities can’t hook into your energy neither can they see you since to see you would mean matching your vibration. This is to my experience the only real “protection” from untoward influences. Your energy doesn’t contain unhealthy desires that can hook or be hooked by something.

That said, I am not convinced that the goal is to ever be without desire (and their corresponding hooks) because even the Dali Lama admitted not long ago that some desire is noble. Me, I think some desire can be of a very high quality that avoids the coarser qualities that may have been present in our nature or consciousness at one point in our development. Some desires lead us to God. And no, that union isn’t one that is devoid of junk, but full of a live that isn’t divided, which means all aspects of love are present in that moment, regardless of how embarrassed you might be about it. Mystic union is in fact heresy were the Christian church to know its fullest reality. Luckily, we have other arrows in our quiver.

The work for me was a slog at first. As time went by by sense that each release would acrue to a better state that woukd be persistent and not subject to swings from amazing bliss to horrible depths of shadow…a dark night of the soul. I dug myself out by digging deep. To dig deep you just need to feel deep and allow your intuitiin to guide you. It might not be perfect, but it is far superior to anything your rational mind cooks up. With the rational is also the most restrictive form of ego. It has forgotten that it is a budding creator. The path to understanding this is the feeling part of the self. Doing this is so simple many people make it too complicated (I did). It drives a simplicity along with a joy as you realize that all of this is a creation. Are you creating a sense of limitation and the poverty of heart and mind it brings? It doesn’t matter how rich you are because this is about feeling. Learning to conquer feeling opens up a vast dominion that is what you are.

I hope you can put this to use to assist in freeing yourself. . .

Life is full of surprises.

Copyright, all rights reserved

I have been working methodically on a manuscript about early Christianity. It’s a slog in order to have all of the right sources. My project presents the thesis that in earliest Christianity there was a very different understanding concerning some foundational concepts that would inform the religion for centuries. It’s a story of one group that pitted itself against another and sought to wipe away its influence for all time. But like the sun, moon, and the truth, what was hidden was later revealed when documents began to surface from early on in the movement that told a very different story. It is one of the greatest stories never told about a religion that exerted tremendous influence for centuries.

It’s here that someone from the distant past emerged, a seeker herself, and artist like me, who was keen to collaborate with me. What has emerged has been a new project on a facet of awakening most commonly known as twin souls or twin flames. This is an aspect of awakenings today that link people who have karma in common.

I have been critical of the concept, though, and it was a surprise finding myself considering a project like this. The result has been a flood of information that provides a new perspective on the phenomenon that I have been bringing through. Because of my familiarity with the subject already and the history of awakening, I found I have been able to bring what I think may be a new perspective on the phenomenon.

The agreement was that the project had to be small. I didn’t have the time to devote to a 200 page manuscript. As a result, a book of 120 pages emerged very quickly. The collaboration begins with me writing and my coauthor providing illustrations and proofreading the manuscript.

The illustrations in some cases reveals the artist’s own discoveries of her brush with a new energy in consciousness, which shows up in her work, which I think helps to bring added meaning and comprehension to the project. Being able to have the work illustrated is a plus, something that makes the project unique, I think. There will be some intersections with the book I am working on related to early Christianity, which is awakening and how kundalini was actually being taught. Other cultures and traditions that have teachings or writings on awakening also tends to include the phenomenon of union both on the individual level as well as between two people, which is a second wrinkle in the awakening phenomenon. The book shows that the history on twins as they are called today is scant in the way some would like them represented, but a more abundant field of understanding awaits when you can shift your focus. To this end, I show instances through time when high vibrational relationships emerge. The phenomenon has been hiding in plain sight, but is not obvious to anyone unfamiliar with the subject. It helps if you know how and where to look. A little sleuthing can make for interesting reading.

A lot has been done in a short time, and with our moving into the Fall, I am facing the busiest time of the year for my studio business in glassmaking, so work on the book will go into a less intense phase now which will be a refinement period where I will have friends help review the work for editing. It managed to get slipped in just in the nick of time!

In the meantime, I will be publishing excerpts from the book as the editing work proceeds. This has moved along so quickly we don’t even have a title yet! I am including preliminary illustrations from the artist, which will help give you a sense of the character of the artwork and the flavor of one important aspect of our story telling.

Thanks for stopping by!

We invited our ghosts in with a gesture now long forgotten. They have been haunting us ever since. We love our ghosts for how they ride us, making us feel like weaker versions of ourselves, defeated. We are such curious creatures for how much we love what we dislike. We protest against such truths, but there it is.

A gnawing sense that all is not right in a marriage, we tell ourselves that it could be worse, or how we swallow so much and brush aside what offends our hearts until we turn ’round to find ourselves dunn-hearted, isolated, and alone in our theater of ghosts. Jobs we love to hate, politicians, the line at the store, the broken clock, computer, or way home…we love to hate it all. Why?

It takes great love to not hate ourselves for this, but to summon that love that, when felt, extends to everything it touches, including ourselves is one of the kindest of things we can do not just for ourselves, but for the good that will come to those around us. We take those parts of ourselves, in love, like how a parent loves their child, in order to show ourselves the way to a better place, where the ghosts are free to live their truer lives – no longer unknowingly grasped within our hearts and bodies, no longer held to a less than perfect expectation that our underwhelm has trapped them in. In so doing we appeal to the greater lights of our becoming to incrementally find our way home – which is itself a constant process as we go. What once was profane is rendered sacred, what was empty is now full, and what was forgot is remembered.

Someone asks about implants or entity attachments. Beyond this, you’ll need to read my book when it’s out.

So much said about these. My observation over years (40) of active energetic sensory perception is that we become vulnerable to energetic entities of every stripe, based on the emotional issues we carry. Read that again and let it sink in. Some can be akin to simple life forms all the way up to bipedal types (but still not all that intelligent). There is alot out there that isn’t physical that is entirely energy beings. Also, some beings are fragments of consciousness. It just takes enough energy focused in a particular way to create them. Homes often have them from their occupants. We call them ghosts, but I don’t think people understand what ghosts are in all truth (not completely…and that’s a post for another time).

Every single case I have seen, the entities attached due to a “trauma” or emotional wrinkle in the psyche of the person. This is always dependent on the person. What hits you wrong might not impact me…at all. This is to say that this is all because of you. Your choice in feeling led to this outcome. As hard as that may be to hear, its true. The good news is by doing your inner work, you can naturally clear these entities by clearing your backlog of emotional material. The other side to all of this is that there is no real protection in a universe as fluid as this. Vibration is everything. If you carry an off vibration somewhere in your field, it can be fair game.

Some have said drug use can cause it, but that isn’t correct. Most drug use stems from a condition of deficiency, a perception of deficiency, even if subconsciously. Something the drug supplies, that the emotion felt, robs the body of. The drug type doesn’t always track the emotion, but rather the personality type determines the drug used. I could experience the same trauma as another person but medicate with a different drug because I have a different constitution or turn of mind.

I have seen one entity daisy-chain with people. It does this because of the law of attraction. One person will attract certain people, and in that circle, many will be interesting to an entity because of the similarities between them. People do flock together.

If you use drugs of any kind, ask yourself what are you medicating? The true answer leads you right to the problem that needs your attention. Feel it, acknowledge it, and let it go, like a spirit leaving a bottle. By doing this, you engage in soul retrieval. Remember not to fall back into the habit of what the drug use represented. If you think that this is too hard, you might have become hypnotized into thinking this work is hard, and you might not be used to using the wisdom or intuitive part of yourself. That part knows where all your shit lies. It’s so easy, you will think, “That can’t be it…that was too easy…” That’s the brain washing. I can go deeper into how this is done, but this would be a chapter in a book.

There are ways to get at this material. Body work (deep tissue massage), energy work, chi gung, cranial sacral, acupressure/puncture, and TRE (trauma release exercise), holotropic breathwork, Rolfing (deep tissue again) are all ways that this material can be released. Kundalini and awakenings in general can often release this material also. You have to be very clear about whether you are ready to let it go.

People hold onto their stuff while swearing they are ready to let it go. Be humble. Be honest with yourself. Some things that feel great are in fact the illusion that a constriction in your field will make something energetic feel more intense and fool you into thinking it is “the bomb” or the thing, the person, the experience. You have to watch closely, honestly, and be able to see how inner feeling relates to how you respond to the things in your environment that are matching that unresolved issue. When it goes, the tight intensity goes and an expansiveness replaces it. It’s good to let it teach you how to be in this part of the new you.

I knew a person who had an entity attached to her. I described the being and she recognized it, saying, “He is my guide!” The being was a text book demon. Red skin. Horns. I was careful to confirm her description of the being. I offered that what I saw was a being just like Hellboy. She agreed that it did look just like him. In another case, I saw the entity which looked like a kind of dragon/dinosaur with terracotta colored skin, male. The person replied that this was her guide also. I had seen this being attached to a well-known psychic and it was attached to many of his female clients. When I offered to the woman that this was what I saw, she threatened me saying that this kind of talk was slander, and saying this could destroy the man’s ability to provide for himself. Stockholm Syndrome, anyone? I suspect both people still have their lower level entities still in place.

I chose not to remove them because I had done this once before and it made life difficult for me. I don’t regret it, I just know there are better ways (hint: it is an inside job). It is much better if the person can be made aware of what might be atrached to them so they can let them go.

I hope this primer helps. There is a lot of nuance I have missed, but posts can get long when I really dig in and I lose people. If you have questions, ask, and if you have experiences, do share! We swim in the ether. The nature of life is that we are made up of aggregates of consciousness. Our bodies are cells that have their own consciousness. Not all of this is bad or negative. The path to your higher evolution is in knowing what hinders you and what helps you.

There are a handful of methods that have been used down through time to liberate the mind from the shackles of its previous life, leading it to a new dawn of self realization. The methods are all very similar and they involve looking within. So we have meditation and there are visualization exercises, too, designed to bring about a condition that happens once this inner switch is flipped.

I hear those who say “you cannot induce awakening intentionally…” but you can. My old friend Jensen, who I spoke to not long ago after not being in touch for close to a decade described his experience for me when he went to a recreation department class on kundalini meditation….and awakened kundalini. I have a close family friend who went to a Vipissana retreat, the method that Guatama Buddha recommended, and it was there that something shifted and her life was forever altered. I had gotten the sense that this old friend had become awakened but wasn’t using terms that described it directly, so I asked her if she had had any remarkable experiences in the last few years. Vipissana is a retreat where one is silent for about ten days and meditates the whole time. Gopi Krishna sat in the early morning hours bidding an energy rise up his spine and it did, forever changing his life from then onward. I was given a meditation technique whose central method was to quiet the mind. I had meditated up to that time for years and no awakening. Once I was given this technique, I had results immediately. Within a week I found myself suffused in a brilliant white light, and wondering what had just happened was enough to cause the brilliance to vanish. I had managed to begin using a part of my mind that was usually shut down so much that I didn’t fully know that it even existed in me. I thought that it existed in other people, that it was something that people developed over lifetimes. While I think there is some truth to this, call it a gradual ripening into a place that is suitable for awakening, I also observe that there is something much like a switch, and one of the ways to it is through meditation. I know that my meditation got me there, because it was only after meditation and the use of hemisync discs that induced a deep theta state, that I entered into a period of high strangeness that culminated in a full rising event of kundalini.

Was I intentionally seeking to awaken kundalini? No. Was I seeking to wake up somehow? Yes. It had been part of my life for many decades before this. I was a seeker after all.

That said, there are people who haven’t used meditative practice to awaken. There are people who woke up in nature, walking down the street, and one case describes being scared to death nearly as the “jolt” that brought on awakening. I wasn’t meditating when kundalini rose, it just happened as an outcome of a process that began much like an automated system produces an end result. All of the changes that took place over the course of five months were autonomous in nature. I was little more than an observer watching and wondering what these sensations were about.

To be clear, not everyone does this. Awakening processes are all very individual and each are unique. Looking back on it the process I was going through was being driven by something inside of me, but I was clueless as to what all of the symptoms meant over those five months. Clearly, I was hallucinating some things…like the voices I heard and the Native American drumming and singing, all may have been psychic energy expressing itself. The dreams, which were like a giant inventory punctuated with brilliant and vivid imagery of water and light and a mysterious language embedded in water and light, made me wonder just what was up.

Some people I have known awakened when they met someone. That in itself was enough to trigger them. In one case, with someone I have interviewed for the site, the person had known the other in another life and they shared a karmic thread, one which they didn’t see for what it was, and was taken by the power of the draw. Ultimately they didn’t resolve their karma together, they each resolved it individually.

Buddha said it right when essentially he said no one makes you feel a certain way or makes you react a certain way. You do. At the root of karma are our honest reactions and feelings. Some feelings are based in beliefs and thinking that are not aligned to our truer higher selves. Is it something that the cosmic judge will put us away for forever? There appears to be no such judge, save for our own inner compass. In NDE’s the only person judging the person was themselves, and no one, not a one, being sent to hell. Yes, there are accounts of people going to a dark place they thought was hell, but pay attention to the account of the NDE closely: in every case the person winds up in the light.

In my research it appears that awakening is essentially like a near death experience in that there is a communion with the energy that represents “the light.” Not all awakenings involve a white light like mine did. Some involve vibration, heat, sound, or other representations of energy. At the end of the day, this is what out minds and bodies are trying to explain to ourselves or to interpret, which is that awakening is at its core an energetic event. Along with these events can come karmic relationships, and they wind up being powerful movers sometimes. But for as powerful as they are for inspiring change, often the change is limited in all truth. It is, though, enough for most people. It “gets your attention” as one person once explained it to me. It certainly does. But beyond that, what does it materially do? I myself really thought I had to work something out with this person who I had karma with. I even knew what the karma was, as I have seen most of the karmas from others who I have known who were like this.

We think that it is something we create together, but in truth, we don’t. All of the karma that I ever worked through was always something that I worked out on my own. It is rare to find someone who is as engaged as you are in wanting to work through the same set of issues as yourself. My “twin” often went into meltdowns when I tried to push the energy to begin clearing our karma. Something inside of her simply resisted it. She wasn’t ready. No harm no foul. And sitting alone, a number of years later, I thought that I had to work it out with her, and in so doing, or trying to do it, I asked her what it was she needed from me. Her response surprised me. “This awakening helped me so much. It changed my life and kept it from being ordinary…and I am a better person for it. What do I need from you? I don’t need anything from you: I am happy!”

And just like that, it was done. Poof. The karmic threads fell away. But what was it that did it? What was holding up the train? My feelings were holding up the train, that’s what. I thought there was something I needed to do. There was nothing I needed to do. It could have been over years earlier, but I labored under the false assumption that we had to do this together. It’s a good thing that I reached back to her all those years later (seven years later in fact), because if I hadn’t, I might still be feeling this draw created by the charge of feeling like I owed someone something or that something wasn’t finished right or done. Except that it was in everyone’s mind but mine.

You might be like this somewhere and you don’t even know it. You might be taken in by the love that you feel. It’s good to feel it, but I can tell you it wont take you anywhere significant because the force is for your change, not anyone else. In order to go anywhere significant with another in such a rarefied environment, you need to be exactly the same and respond and want in exactly the same way. This experience makes you think that you are one, that you are twins. Yes, we are ALL ONE, we are, but goodness sakes, we also have free will and individuality and for as much as the Advaita people want to say it, self is real and ego serves an important purpose in learning while here. That means that individuality is the real wild card.

I have tried to help so many people over the years and what I have found is that the bulk of the advice was unheeded or not acted on. And you know what, it’s perfect because at the end of the day a person has to be ready to see their lessons in front of them. In fact they have to own them before they see them.

A teacher once told me to be careful about telling someone something they weren’t ready to hear because most often people will reject perfectly good advice because it comes from the outside. Not all information from the outside is bad. In fact, we each have blinders about our issues in life. A close friend can see our junk so much easier for the simple reason that it isn’t theirs and that they don’t have the same blinders. But after that, as for what to do or how to do it, fagetaboutit! It really has to be an inside job from there on out. But listen to your friends when they are trying to waive you off the runway when you are trying to take your jet full-throttle across the runway. They might just be seeing the tire that is flat that you doggedly are refusing to look at. And yes, that is a metaphor… But even more importantly are the people who think they have insight into your life when they don’t, when their insight is little more than their own beliefs wrapped up in such a way that they are fooled into thinking what they have created is genuine. Already two such people have described events they knew to be real when there was nothing to them…at all. They convince themselves they are psychic and so they are…no matter what. They may have been at some point, but somewhere something happened. It’s a bit like the Hollywood psychic saying, “I see a woman in your life right now…” with the respondent saying, “Yeah, no woman in my life, nope…” Only to be followed with, “I see you received a promotion!”

“I’m self employed, so no promotions really…” Humility and self honesty are critical components to this. Mercy…where was I?

The most successful methods shut down thought and keep you present and aware. You aren’t shutting down, you are shutting down the monkey mind. When that happens, you are that much closer to the recognition that takes place that everyone experiences, which is nonduality, the awareness and experience that everything is One and everything is connected. Kundalini, is one step further than that where the portion of consciousness that is able to understand what nonduality feels like then takes it one step further and beings a process of churning consciousness in the hopes that something breaks free. While the Hindu systems of yoga and meditative practices all say do this work before you awaken Westerners simply do not do this work. the good news is that kundalini itself will cleanse the system the Hindu call nadi, and much of the fireworks you read about as it relates to awakening in the West is attributed to clearing that kundalini can do. Nadi are seen as channels in the body that carry prana. The meridian system in Chinese medicine maps out the same energy even though it is called chi (qi). Going back lifetimes, the idea of union within was learned through the systems alive in various cultures I have lived in that have ritual forms of union like hieros gamos in its many different incarnations. In this there is implicit an understanding of awakening since they involve elements that are identical to one another.

After attempting to awaken and not succeeding, what is missing may be your being ripe for the experience. When someone I know attempted to force an awakening years ago, I was witness to someone who was off her rocker for most of the time. It sounds harsh, but it was true. Was this person always this way, I wondered? Maybe. Or maybe what kundalini did was to drive the shadow out into the light….with the exception that this person wasn’t letting go. She just wasn’t ready. Friends questioned whether she had actually had a real awakening. It was real, even if she forced it by utilizing my energy in the etheric. And on the flip side you can have someone who wants to awaken and despite all efforts, they just don’t or can’t. Any number of hurdles stand before them. You can lead a horse to water, but we all must learn to drink ourselves. The woman I knew in 500 B.C. had in her an inability to be happy where she was. Other than that, she was an incredible person. That pattern is still playing out today and there is nothing that I can do to change it, and now I am at peace with it being that way. She will change once she knows that it is an issue for her and can really see it for herself. Telling her it is an issue would likely cause her to get upset and angry, even go into denial. She has to figure it out on her own. She has to get to that place where she really think that she was the one who had it all figured out (even though people may have been trying to tell her this for years…who knows really if that is so, but these things have a way of happening like this) And really, that is good because waking up is about growing up spiritually. It will only ever work when we take those steps to the water ourselves.

Awakening isn’t a mystery though…not as deep a mystery as we would like it to be. We may not always understand it, but it is a phenomenon tied closely to our consciousness (because it is a function of it) and as such it is not some exotic phenomenon. It isn’t for the lucky few, the elite or chosen. It is a state that everyone can experience when they are ready. I once tried to explain this to a friend and I said to her that awakening is like a second puberty, a growth into a new state of being. You are still you but this energy has helped to divest you of a lot of the programming that was cast into you since infancy. And to what end? To know more of the truth both of reality and of ourselves.

Bettmann / Newsweek / Contributor

It is becoming less and less of a mystery to those who have awakened and those who have had ET contact that the two phenomenon are often intertwined. In the work that I am conducting on early Christianity, we now have documents written by Gnostic seers who described a nonhuman (perhaps extraterrestrial) presence that is discernible once a person assumes or attains a more enlightened or awakened state. The writing which was produced close to two thousand years ago, is found in two notable books within the Nag Hammadi Library: The Apocalypse of James and the Hypostasis of the Archons. Between these two books, the “Archons” as they are called, are described in terms that fit the modern ET presence perfectly. It isn’t a vague similarity, though, but a long check-box affair where very specific qualities are noted. I will list some of these a little later, because I want to get to the core of what this post is about. Many contactees, which are people who say they have had contact with nonhuman intelligences over years, are told by their visitors, how important it is to develop their psi abilities. This would, they often assert, help humans to better understand themselves, as well as the nature of reality and the world around us.

The single most moving experience I think that an awakened person can have is the initial realization of how everything is connected, how everything is one. When that happens, when you feel that unity with all things, you naturally want to take care of that unity, or those things that you feel connected to. What better way to save the planet than to have people waking up and naturally wanting to take care of the planet because they feel it as an extension of themselves? Instantly ego gets put on the back burner, we become much more collaborative in our approaches, and we seek ways to help this second part of ourselves, which we call our Mother, the Earth. Such an outlook and awareness would have a profound effect on human culture and how we do business here. How do you do violence to another when you know that other is a part of you?

Awakening, notably kundalini awakening, has shown me that we are like radios, biological entities that produce a low-potential electrical current that shows every sign of being able to act as a transmission medium for more than just signals to the brain in order to operate the body and keep it running. I observe that this energy, most likely the portion expressed as a field (not the particle end of the signal material), is what is connecting us to the cosmos. It connects us, potentially, with each other. I have reached a point in my own experience where I have seen that the ability is real, we just need to learn how to utilize the facility. If I say that your biases and beliefs play into this, you might be able to appreciate that something as seemingly nonmaterial as consciousness could order very real energetic material that appears to be coming into your body and mind. Yes, we can be transceivers, but there is a part of us, our consciousness, which can distort the signal. Knowing how to clear the decks of competing material that might not serve getting clear information is key. I have also made a study of observing highly psychic people over the years (I attract them it seems, which is a good thing). One of the most gifted psychic I know describes her gifts as being the result (watch for it…) of having no filters. This is, for her, a bit of a double-edged sword. She doesn’t seem able to filter out the bad stuff. Instead, it all comes flowing through. For her, I suspect, she has to constantly be working on ways to remain neutral in her work so that she does not become overly saturated with the hard things. If you are reading this and have experience in this area, you too might find yourself in familiar territory. If you do, I encourage you to add your two cents worth in the comments because so much of this is about stretching beyond the known to make sense of what appears to many to be a mystery or an unknown. It is my observation that by using our inner senses correctly, we can acquire information that might take years to get at through the usual channels.

There is a passage in a book written by John Leir who has become noted for his work in removing implants from people who, in some cases, have a history of known ET contact. The book is entitled UFO Crash In Brazil, published in 2005 by Book Tree and available at Amazon HERE. According to numerous eyewitnesses, an unidentified flying object crashed near Varginha, Brazil on January 20, 1996 and at least two beings were reported to have survived. One was taken to a local hospital for treatment and was operated on while the military stood guard. It is here that the most interesting part of the story unfolds. I will point out for the reader that if you go to Wikipedia or any other mainstream source, you will find an effort to delegitimize the events surrounding the case (“there is nothing here!”) and there appears to have been an effort on the media more widely to do little to no reporting on the incident. That said, Dr. Leir interviewed one of the doctors who worked on the ET who was brought in by military personnel. It is interesting to see what the ET did and what it said to the doctor. I can say that for me, the one interesting part of the entire book are a couple of pages where the Doctor discusses his interaction with the ET in the operating room of a hospital in Varginha (pronounced Var-Hinga).

First, the ET took over the motor control of the Doctor and guided his hands so that he was able to help correct what was a broken bone in the ET’s leg. The ET then communicated with the Doctor telepathically. The Doctor claims that he was told a number of things by the ET which he refused to disclose, but one of the things he said that he would was that the ET felt sorry for humans because they didn’t know themselves very well, they didn’t know that they could do what the ET’s could, in terms of psychic abilities. The being also explained that humans were not very spiritual, and were thus not aware of who they were in a larger context. Other contactees have also expressed the same sorts of sentiments, being told by their ET contacts that they need to develop their inner senses more, that this will help to bring about a needed change on the planet. Currently, we are being seen as Planet of the Apes on the part of most ET’s. When we hear skeptics of all things ET say “I’ll believe it when they land on the White House Lawn” they are entirely missing the point. No ET in their right mind would ever bother to land on the White House lawn since they would be shot within minutes by a lone sniper, or taken into custody by Homeland Security and used as research subjects ad nauseum by our own government.

For the record, ET ships did cross through some of the most protected airspace in the United States in July of 1952 an event which was known as the “Carousel Lights” which those in the Pentagon made pains to point out, were not a part of their own secret program. Later on, however, officials would tend towards an official denial of sightings being anything more than weather effects or, as was made into a character meme: swamp gas. The following video covers this incident in some detail.

The policy that our government and the Pentagon has followed where U.F.O.’s in the U.S. are concerned has been one of denial and denigration. Colonel Corso, in his book The Day After Roswell in which he breaks his silence in his role involving the disseminating of technology gleaned from crashed discs from the late 1940’s through to the 1950’s explains in his work that the military and the government at that time did not want Russia to know that it did not have full command of its airspace. The second concern was catalyzed by the recent memory of what had happened when War Of The Worlds Aired as an April Fools joke, resulting in widespread panic nationwide. Corso explained that the military was well aware what disclosures might involve, and part of it could have been wide spread panic. This policy warned people off from becoming too interested, he said, by engaging in an effort to smear or denigrate people who showed too much interest in the phenomenon, or who claimed to have been abducted by ET’s. Americans have lived under this type of programming for an entire generation, so when the subject of ET’s comes up there are often snickers and sneers that come as a result. All is according to plan. Currently, that plan is changing because now the military industrial complex have found a new use for the ET presence, which could become a way to fatten more the budgets of the military by painting the ET’s as a threat.

In May 2010, aerospace engineer Tom Keller wrote an article for the Mutual UFO Network’s journal that said Ben Rich revealed that extraterrestrial UFO visitors are real and that the U.S. military has aircraft capable of travel to the stars. Keller, who worked as a computer systems analyst for NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, quoted Rich as saying the following:

“Inside the Skunk Works, we were a small, intensively cohesive group consisting of about fifty veteran engineers and designers, and a hundred or so expert machinists and shop workers. Our forte was building technologically advanced airplanes of small number and of high class for highly secret missions.”

“We already have the means to travel among the stars, but these technologies are locked up in black projects, and it would take an act of God to ever get them out to benefit humanity. Anything you can imagine, we already know how to do it.”

“We now have technology to take ET home. No it won’t take someone’s lifetime to do it. There is an error in the equations. We know what it is. We now have the capability to travel to the stars. First, you have to understand that we will not get to the stars using chemical propulsion. Second, we have to devise a new propulsion technology. What we have to do is find out where Einstein went wrong.”

“When Rich was asked how UFO propulsion worked, he said, ‘Let me ask you. How does ESP work?’ The questioner responded with ‘All points in time and space are connected?’ Rich then said, ‘That’s how it works!’ ”

SOURCE: Bill Wickersham, May 27, 2014, UFO Accounts Are Stuff Of Journalists’ Dreams, Columbia Tribune

In the last few years, we have been witness to our military doing an abrupt about-face to begin to disclose what it knows about the ET presence. Excuse me for being just a little skeptical after sixty years of denial of the ET presence by the same agencies who now seem keen to change their tune. If you want to see how belief is created in a populace, study the history of UFO’s in the U.S. As time goes by we have learned, for example, that Project Blue Book, which was dubbed an honest effort to get to the bottom of the U.F.O. question, is now known, through disclosures by whistleblowers, to have been a straight up effort at propagandizing the public in order to create the impression that the U.F.O. phenomenon is largely (although not totally) a nothing burger. Thus, you are crazy if you believe that U.F.O.’s represent a nonhuman intelligence (NHI) visiting Earth. Currently, though, the management of this belief is being massaged and changed, and millions, perhaps billions of people will fall in lock step with what the government says is what is true, which may include casting the ET presence as a threat that requires weaponizing space at great expense. The interesting wrinkle in all of this is that many, perhaps close to all craft that are being filmed and leaked to the press, could well be our own technology which we gleaned from crashed discs.

According to Carol Rosin, who was assistant to Werner Von Braun in the final years of his life, he warned her that the military had created conflicts in order to justify fat military budgets. He laid out the 50-year plan, which in 1972, included “rogue nations” and terrorism, meteor threats, and then a threat from ET’s invading or seeking to take control of Earth. As crazy as his story seemed to her, Carol chose to come forward as part of the Disclosure Project spearheaded by Steven Greer who had the event recorded for posterity in the late 1990’s. The upshot of Von Braun’s warning was that even the Cold War had been created to justify vast spending on a sector of our economy that we were warned about by Eisenhower in his farewell speech.

With ET craft known to disable our missiles in their silos, the message has been clear: “You have a problem. Your problem is also our problem. You need to disarm now before you hurt your delicate environment, which is also our environment.” As I write this, the Biden Administration is pushing the West closer to atomic war over an issue that could have been resolved swiftly by pledging a neutral Ukraine. Instead, we have gotten a barrage of propaganda, and the sad part is that the journalists doing the good work are those not working for the major networks. Yes, Russia invaded, yes it is bad, but the West has also helped to stage a coup in Maidan in 2014 in Ukraine which helped to set the stage of ratcheted up tensions with Russia. The West had promised Russia that NATO would not encroach a “single inch” toward Russia, and that promise was kept until each president after Regan and Bush came into office. We need to get past all of this if we are to hope to move on to the next level. We simply have to just say no to the machinery of pain and strife and to always work for peace harder than we work for war. Making war unprofitable would be a good first step to having the warmongers shriveling on the vine. To learn more about the roots of the current discord this article helps with the history some: https://jacobinmag.com/2022/02/maidan-protests-neo-nazis-russia-nato-crimea

Not long ago I wrote a blog entry in which I made the case for the importance for us to develop our inner senses (psi) as a prerequisite for going out into the stars. Those abilities would provide crews with the ability to anticipate problems before they became catastrophic as well as being able to navigate unknown regions and less than known conditions in parts of our galaxy for instance. Not long after having considered this, up popped a quote from Jane Roberts’s Seth saying the same exact thing, which was an interesting coincidence, shall we say. But one very important reason for developing our psychic senses has a very practical side, which is that we can communicate with races that are not from this planet. When you consider how many languages there are on Earth itself, being able to communicate telepathically is an elegant run-around the language barriers that might exist with other beings that are nonhuman. It is just as possible that some races have never even developed language as we think of it. The vast bulk of ET encounters involve witnesses describing telepathic communication as the norm.

I can say that my awakening has certainly opened up a vast realm of communication for me. In the beginning I considered many of my early results to be nothing more than my imagination, but I was also open and hopeful that my experiences could result in something verifiable in a more or less objective way. I have, in a few notable instances, have gotten forms of confirmation from these efforts at contact. I have also been able to use the inner senses that have activated post awakening to see locations I have never been to nor knew nothing about (I have three witnesses to these efforts). I wrote some months ago about how the use or marijuana may have made me even more psychic when I experimented with it in a controlled setting. Ayahuasca and other substances like it have resulted in the pulling down of a barrier in consciousness that appears to have kept us divided from a part of our natural selves, a part that appears to be psychic.

In other cultures other than the West, particularly India, discussion of psychic abilities is frowned upon as it is believed that it can represent a spiritual cul-de-sac where focus on the psychic feeds ego and is beside the point. I take a different view, which is that focus on psychic abilities is not a distraction along the path at all, but is part of who we are in an enlarging context. To use abilities to gain attention or notoriety can cause problems, yes, but to my mind these abilities were not made to be rare, and as long as they are rare fascination is heaped upon them. Make them common place, and the fascination goes out of that inflated balloon of ego and self importance. For me, I find them fascinating because they serve as a tether that guides me to the deepest parts of my being. These are the primal senses, the ones that preexist before our entrance into the physical and are the senses we will use when we drop our bodies in this life and transition into our next phase of existence. I am as fascinated by them as a child is fascinated by watching a frog hopping across the water, or fireflies in the evening dusk. By opening up to the reality of their presence in our lives, we can begin to learn more about who and what we are…and from all accounts, our cosmic neighbors are waiting there for us.

This would be a good place to go into how to develop your inner senses and psi powers, but I am reminded to keep it as short and simple as possible, a feat which I am largely unable to achieve! Already the day is awash in such glorious energy, that it seems a shame to waste it, so I leave you for now and hope that this is food for thought. I will meet you in the field.

Not long after what I would describe as an over-the-top energy event, I had a new wrinkle that surprised me.

In the midst of feeling like I may have been responding to turmoil in the world by getting blasted with energy, I received some suppliments in the post that I had ordered just before this latest spike. The irony is that one was a human growth factor precursor and another that boosts testosterone. Like I really need it, right? Was I crazy? My intuition said I should get them, sense be damned, it seems.

I began taking the suppliments about two weeks ago and found that they helped to moderate the very high bliss with sensual energy down to something that made me feel more like I was in my body and more grounded. Curiously, this led to less sexual/sensual bliss and more of a feeling of physical energy and groundedness.

It was like drinking an espresso before going to bed in order to sleep. You wouldn’t have thought that would be what I should have taken, but it helped a lot and it has boosted the hours that I work. I’m not sure that is a good thing since I am working seven days a week now and I really ought to take more time off for myself.

I was curious to see if it was just my imagination. After going off the suppliments, the pranic energy came roaring back like before. I found that I missed this feeling of being grounded. Instead, I found myself meditating on a feminine presence that served to ground my energy. I am under no illusion that this is an aspect in my own “subtle psyche,” which is that part of us connected to, or aware of, other lives lived and available for tapping into them for insight and help in gaining awareness into certain psychological states, for instance. In Gnostic terms, this is the szygy, the blend of like-masculine and like-feminine into a unity, that unity that serves to give vigor or life to kundalini.

As the last weeks have shown, a major operation has been underway in the U.S. under Biden and the allies, which has been to induce an invasion on the part of Russia so the U.S. could slap on sanctions and then legally sell it’s LNG to Germany which once was being sold by Russia.

With the propaganda machine being ratcheted up, casting this as being about democracy, the invasion would stop if Ukraine did what Russia has called for for decades: remain neutral and stop attacking the separatists in the Dombas region. Instead, the U.S. has been determined to ignite a new cold war with Russia. The maniacs are in control, and they are trying to play on our patriotism to push their agenda. Meanwhile Condaleeza Rice says on t.v. that Putin invading Ukraine illegally makes him a war criminal. God help us all. Invasions, the U.S. stoking a new cold war, unnecessary actions that suggest a deeper agenda…and all of this perhaps causing the ripples that I would feel as an over the top energetic response?

I am glad to find that my intuition was on the mark in regards to the supplements, I am feeling much more peaceful. None of it made any sense, though, not conventionally. Is it possible to get these effects as we age? I am sure a lot of this post doesn’t make any sense either.

I work weekends so yesterday and today were my days off. While I ran some errands, I wound up back in the studio cranking out new work, working until past nine p.m. when I realized how late it was and that maybe it was time to relax and go to bed. That in fact is what I am about to do. That’s the news from the wilderness…

I often see forecasts for energies, and while I am aware of the body of people who have awakened on the planet, I can’t say that the energy forecasts have had much relevance to me. I think that I have been so active clearing material over the years it may be that I grew unaware of the energetic landscape to a certain extent. I say this and I can also admit that around the time that awakening came I was aware of a lot of pretty strange energies which I attributed to the earth and cosmos. And after all, the Schumann Resonance did begin to change a lot in the earlier part of Y2K, as it continues to do (and that can make you feel absolutely crazy sometimes). I sound so certain and oh so clear, don’t I?

About a week ago I posted a quick little post about getting it right, and it was the week before that, that I began to feel like something had just turbocharged in my body and inner awareness. I can’t lie, it has been alternatively bad and good, but it has been more intense than I can remember it being in a long time. I have had this odd sense of being self-conscious like I was the first few weeks after my awakening, feeling like I had a giant neon sign over my head saying “Awakened!!” I was relieved when I found that no, no one could feel it or notice anything had changed. I would later read how Buddha had wondered the same thing, if people could tell something had happened to him. The only difference was they didn’t have neon signs….but I bet that if they had, he’d have made that allusion sure as shooting!

This energy is a bit of a double-edged sword. When it is so strong it can be very distracting. I have found it hard to do much of anything with any degree of full recognition that it was done. A day of work will fold in on itself and I turn around, as I walk across from the studio to home, just 75 paces in all, and I wonder what I had done all that time, because the time felt like it had simply evaporated. I will have put in a full day with many pieces made, a lot of sweat given up to those pieces, and it is as if a world just pulls in on itself by virtue of my being so present that I sometimes cannot remember what it was I have just done. It isn’t that I can’t, it is that I am swept so powerfully along a tide of bliss that honestly, I could care less. When I am in the bliss I am in the moment and in the moment it is easy to forget things….not because you don’t care but because that is how things are. I know how that sounds, but how different is this from the Buddhists and the Zen teachers who taught non-attachment? I think this is the same. I have it in some areas of my life, but not in others (like relationships — I appear to have pretty solid attachments in regards to those).

In this last week especially, the energy has gone from bliss to stronger and stronger. It feel like a channel is getting overloaded sometimes. I begin to have the feeling like I just need to find something that I can discharge this energy into. I described this to a friend recently as feeling like I am like a lightening bolt without its ground. The energy just seems to build and build. Since bliss is so close to orgasmic energy, this has gotten difficult because it seems like if there was something working in me to clear out some old stuck energy that it would have done it by now. Normally when kundalini begins to work in this way, it is doing something to clear my system. It just does it on its own, this intelligent energy. Maybe I just reached a new peak or ability to hold this much bliss, but I have my doubts about that (but check with me in another month – if it is still pegged up high then maybe I was wrong and this is the new normal).

It’s in a place such as this where I began to wonder if I haven’t been interfacing with the world somehow. Sometimes really strong raw energy in the world, reflective of hard emotions and deeds, I seem to feel as pure energy without knowing what that energy is. Ripples in the Force, perhaps. Sometimes, often actually, I will feel the intensity of it, which can feel fantastic, but then I will get some symptom or edginess with it that tells me there is more to this that I am not seeing or sensing fully. I consider that maybe this is energy out there that has been stamped a bit too hard with the thinking of others that were less than enlightened. I want to disabuse you of the notion that energy somehow “belongs” to any one person. Instead, we swim in a nondual stream where all is one while also individual all at the same time. Saying that one drop of water in the ocean is somehow “yours” in a case such as this is kind of ridiculous. At a certain point, all can be known once you get past the barriers that you have erected before yourself (and which I seem to still have since I don’t always immediately know who put this vibratory stamp on this batch of energy!). I have begun to consider this past week that this might be tied to some world event or other. And then Ukraine happened. To be fair, this run-up to Ukraine has been on a slow roll for years it turns out. It can be real easy to jump to conclusions that this crazy energy might be tied to the events on the other side of the earth. I am not convinced they are, but it’s possible. It’s also possible that there is something wrong with me, and I wont discount that either, but if that is true then the bliss is acting in a protective role in this case. Yes, this is me ruminating. . .

Then I hear how Pluto transits or conjuncts with the U.S.A. on 2/22/2022 an event that hasn’t happened before since about 1776. Pluto is about death and change. It isn’t necessarily about bad things, but change…uh…

Yesterday and today have been a peak. The energy just continues to drive as hard as ever. I have begun to wonder what the point is. Breathing, meditation, nothing calms it.

With the coming of kundalini there also came extrasensory abilities. At first their evidence appeared as blips on my screen, the result of mere coincidences where I thought of something and found out later that what I had thought about had happened, or that when thinking of a person I could see where they were even though I had not ever been there or had that location described to me. Over time I found that these happenings were consistently taking place, repeatedly (not just a one-off) and my sensory take on whatever I was picking up on had a high percentage of accuracy. Now, of course, I have read about how in Eastern practice and their knowledge base in India that abilities are one of a number of signs of the presence of kundalini.

By having this energy pegged so high lately, I have been able to experience something that was very noticeable to me at the time, which was the notion that in the energy there is…..information encoded into it. It sounds a bit strange or counterintuitive, but when I first had interactions with this energy during my initial awakening period, there were signs or symbols in my dreamscapes that revealed a kind of psychological or psychic/spiritual language of sorts present in the symbols of my dreaming (codes or letters in light or in water, for instance). These symbols had a very definite character to them, but were also unlike any form of writing that I have known or seen before. What is curious is how similar those symbols are to what those who have attempted to reproduce them who have also seen them in dreams and meditations. The symbols look somewhat, although not exactly, like Hebrew writing.

I would also add for anyone who is familiar with this language which some have called “light language” it seems to me at least to be a language less about words as it is about describing state of being or intensities in awareness. I also suspect that this language is also tied to the phenomenon of speaking in tongues, known as glossolalia, and which some call ‘light language’ which many people describe singing or talking in, which gives a release or flow of energy that strikes me as being the same kind of release as kriyas do. These symbols may in fact be more like code that makes up the landscape of feeling instead of just thoughts. Anyway, I have suddenly felt closer to this language all of a sudden as well as feeling as though I am in some version of a Matrix movie where everything around me has information encoded within it (which I suspect it does). My Matrix movie, though, develops its plot without violence.

The point here is that beneath the energy lies what I sense is a data stream for lack of a better word. When the energy is strong that stream becomes more obvious to me. This happens because the reality is that sexual energy alters consciousness in such a way that certain ranges of cognition appear to open up in rather fantastic ways, but they don’t always open up during ordinary intimate encounters, and so can be missed entirely. I don’t feel this undercurrent until the energy begins to get to a certain level, and it is as if the energy serves as an illuminating presence that reveals to me that this transmission is going on all the time and I simply hadn’t noticed it. It is a bit like looking at your router where your computer is hooked up. You see all of this data, a bunch of dots and dashes, and there is this tremendous amount of information flowing and what comes out the other end is a picture of a horse or a cat, or a spreadsheet on your computer. The question I have is what is the rest of all of that information doing? It feels like there is a lot more there that we simply aren’t getting at this point.

In the early stages of awakening I was shown how what we call time is itself a very deceiving thing because of the true nature of time outside our system of reality here. I was shown that time itself is real, but what we see here is only one aspect or facet of a much larger phenomenon, which is itself a kind of energetic radiance. The teaching here was that outside the world of mass and gravity here, time is very different. Outside out reality everything is accessible all at once. The sense of sequential events is overturned a good deal as those who have experienced NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) describe how everything felt like it was happening at once, or that they had access to all times, lives, or existences. I was shown that under such a state of awareness what we think of as our snail-paced linear transformation that has taken lifetimes in our earthly perspective has already happened “over there.” I had a hint of this reality in a past life as a man who was crying for a vision as a Awaneechee in California in the mid to late 1800’s. In his vision he was shown by a Thunderbeing how all time existed for it like a landscape. This being spoke of a time in the future when I would be reborn as a new person in a time when the earth would be going through a cleansing (now), and as I looked out through that being’s eyes, I could see how it related to the future. It already existed for this being. It spoke with great certainty about the event of my birth in this world at an important time in earth history. For the Thunderbeing, all it had to do was to look off slightly in the distance to see where I was in this other life, the one that I am living today. For the Thunderbeing, all of this was a certainty, it looked off into the distance slightly and could see my life there which had not yet happened in the life as our Native American man. If this is so, and I think it is, then there are states we access where the unity of all things is not only possible but can be shared in a practical way with us here through these glimpses into these rarefied spaces of awareness. I suspect, though, that most people will want to frame them as an encounter with
God or something outside of themselves when in truth they may be encountering the god of themselves unbound by time and space where there is no cause or effect, only the realization of what we are in the scope of infinity. Its so big a thing that it can be almost irrelevant for most people here, making it difficult if not impossible to discuss with words. It may only be transferrable through direct cognition, psi (or maybe poetry).

It is this information that lends to my mind the sense of what the ancients called hieros gamos, which is simply put ‘sex with a god.’ This was clearly a facet of human experience in many cultures, and it is curious to me, and perhaps telling, that people felt close to the gods when intimate. I suspect that this is so because of the effect that bliss energy has on consciousness. It is interesting to me that in my life I have had two women both describe a precise account of an experience during intimacy with me that involved seeing energy as a star field that sped up and exploded, and how it was that this experience that they both experienced was tied in some way to our physical intimacy. In each case, we were experiencing ourselves in a higher nonphysical form. I think that the idea that the gods may be in us or that our awareness expands in certain states to include a much larger story has been there for a very long time.

I have long been aware of a presence of my higher self that comes forward during meditation and in acts of intimacy. It only happens when I am completely surrendered and feel at ease with who I am with. It can’t be forced, and sometimes just an expectation of it being there on the part of my partner can be enough to make me feel self conscious enough to make finding that state elusive. There is too much of a feeling of being on some stage. All this to say that this is a very natural phenomenon that has arisen as my consciousness has expanded or accelerated over these last fifteen years. As I reflect I realize that right now is very close to the anniversary of my awakening.

In fact the period of time that I have been feeling such intense energy corresponds with my awakening in early 2007. Added to this is how Pluto is coming into the picture (is there anything to any of this planetary movement?), and what is up with the world at large. It becomes very easy for me to wonder whether what I have been experiencing is a synchronized anniversary event that may have been exaggerated by the very turbulent energies at play in the world stage that are now playing out in Russia. Whether or not that is so, I can say that whatever you think you see playing out as the official version of reality (a public narrative) is most certainly not what is actually happening. One thing is for sure: the world is drenched in deception, and there is a lot of it happening on a daily basis that often has more to do with how one person or country wants an outcome and is willing to lie to get it.

OMG….He Is Going Political…

Right now the narrative at play on the world stage is that Russia is an aggressor who is invading Ukraine. That is true, but what is also at play are how Western forces, especially the U.S., who have been meddling in Ukraine, going so far as to pick the people in the government in a recently discovered recording leaked to the press has revealed. Ukraine was supposed to be for Russia a buffer from NATO and now the Western allies are going against that promise which was made by Reagan and Bush when the fall of the Berlin wall was front page news. Most people see what happened in Ukraine through a Western lens, but there is more to the story, which includes Russian wanting to protect itself.

Right now there are a bunch of narratives being pushed that hides the involvement of Western forces in a conflict that is being represented to appear to be a straightforward invasion by Russia when in truth there is a lot more at work, but because of how much faith some people put in corporate media, it means that the narrative they want to put out gets taken up by a large block of the population. For those willing to dig there is another narrative that tells a different story. And what is taking place right now in this regard is no different from what has been happening for hundreds of years. It’s just that the deceit has ratcheted up considerably from where it was fifty years ago in the U.S.A. If you don’t agree with the Orthodox view then you become a kind of outcast and that becomes your punishment. For some people that means losing jobs and their place in society as a person of influence, say. What is interesting to note though is that in this system, those who push back and fight this effort to silence through demonizing, people have won back a level of credibility again (which is a ray of hope for now).

When I awoke I could feel the mass of deception turning in the world even though I didn’t know specifically what it was at the time. What this sense has done is it has led me to investigate news story more deeply, more thoroughly, to see if there is more to the story than is being reported. On the one hand it can look like someone like myself is being paranoid, but as is often the case, I will find out later that my concerns which were rooted in a feeling of deception in a world event and the reporting on it were founded in truth, but not one that was immediately apparent. I will also say that in order to do this requires that you clear away as much of the rubbish within your subconscious because the self has to be clear to get a clear signal. I am not suggesting that I am some great psychic, though. I am not. I have certain areas where I do pretty well, but I am not always 100%.

Can Our Inner Senses Save Us From Ourselves?

It is against this backdrop that I often feel rumblings months and weeks before events taking place. I, like others like me, can detect the smell of deception most often, and while we may not always know exactly where the deception is in world events, they can often be seen once the events have rolled out. In some cases anyone can see how what officials say often falls apart when scrutinized, so this is not always a hard thing to do for the average person as it now stands, but to feel it coming down the pike and not being aware fully enough to know that there is a new version of “fuckery” coming our way or what form it will take exactly is the real challenge at this point. In that space the awareness is beyond physical sensory capability, and this is just where we need to go as a race just to keep people honest. Once we get to that level we will be able to see events emerge just before they do, or as they do, and be able to see how they are in fact constituted instead of how they are sold or represented to the public, we will be much more able to fight against this endless need to spin and lie. It is possible for us that in the future we will all be able to smell the rat in world events. There is this old axiom that says here on earth we can hide things, but in spirit all things are known. I think we are in the process of knitting spirit more closely to our world here, which itself serves to alter how this reality can be experienced. If we can raise everyone’s awareness as a simple matter of course, I think that would spell hope for humanity. As was said in the movie Avatar, “We must first cure you of your insanity…”

All of this to say that I think that we can be more aware of what is happening around us because it may well be streaming through us as a kind of coded light signal much like the computer code that makes it possible for you to see a horse or kitten or that spreadsheet on your computer screen. I know that I can feel it and often dip my toe into it in order to begin detecting what is moving by at the speed of light. I also know that this is happening all the time, and under certain instances, I am more aware of it than in others. The fact that I am more aware of it through sexual energy is very curious to me and I think it suggests to me that in meditation I may need to extend the level of surrender I feel in intimacy to my meditative practice. While the bliss is constant and assists greatly in staying in that nondual state, I sense that there are more blocks to knock down, blocks that I think are entirely artificial and unnecessary. I do wonder whether sexual surrender and bliss creates the same required state needed in order to use psi abilities correctly, that is, an empty mind that doesn’t seek to insert what it think fits but instead waits for the information to come (the difference between tuning in a station and making up what you think that station might say were you to be actually be able to be tuning it in).

It seems counter-intuitive but clearing the mind is the first precursor or requirement for clear and uncluttered psi sensing. I am reminded of this person I knew who was convinced that she had superior psi ability. She went on telling me what I was thinking and feeling and over and over again, it was clear that she had done little other than insert her own fears and beliefs into what she thought was a genuine sensing ability. Because she believed that if she was sensing psychically, it had to all be correct. That was the logic that appeared to be used. She had superior intuition, she had after all sensed all of this material (which was completely off the mark). This was for me an important lesson in learning to clear away all the crap within that can cloud inner sensing. It is soooo easy to want to insert something that you feel is right instead of being that still receiver, like a radio.

One good thing to come out of all of this has been my reaching a point where I began to sit back and kind of laugh about it all. Somewhere inside my heart I just wanted the people of the world to be good ethical people. We aren’t, though. Self interest flies through the air like flaming arrows, all at cross purposes with others in transit as they create chaos in the world. It is what I call The Big Ugly Beautiful. It’s ugly, that is true, and it is going to probably stay that way, and the point may be not to have a perfect world, but to be perfectly human and not take it all so damned seriously.

I looked at all of this, the whole thing, and I thought how what we really need is to spend more time sitting down eating meals with one another, seeing each other for who we are and not judging. Everyone is on their own journey, and everyone is at a different place than everyone else. If asked I would have said to those angels to save Sodom, because the whole world is like that. Perfect? What a heresy that is. Come, have some smoked pork. Or try this salad…stuff your mouth and just look at the light in each person’s eye. We are killing everything that we eat, come join the celebration of death and life! Maybe we either find a way not to kill through our technology or we find a way to be humane in our killing so we may live. It’s a conundrum, don’t you think, all this killing in order to survive, killing that none of us really wants to look at or acknowledge is happening (so it’s done behind closed doors so we don’t see the slaughter)?

We are all so different but also much the same. We have spent centuries feeling shame for the very range of energy that might free us from our bonds, which is this crazy thing I feel when the sexual energy is driven or pegged high enough, which is how everything is like a vast internet and I am plugged in, plugged into some great cosmic play of divine union second by millisecond….and I really don’t know how to even say it to anyone except myself.

I lean back in my chair and my back cracks from mid-back all the way up into my shoulders. My muscles are just a little tight, causing those bones to slip out of alignment. And yet, with one gentle release of breathe and leaning backward, those bones all line up like they know how they are supposed to be. DO we know how we are supposed to be, what we may be in a fuller or larger context? Is it even important to seek that? Will it do any good for this, our corner of Sodom? My back will fall out of alignment in another hour and I will lean back, arching backward over the chair back as I feel that delicious alignment brought back to rights…I am clearly unclear on something niggling at me, though, but it isn’t clear enough that I seem able to just find it on my own. Maybe by saying that it will signal to my innermost self that a challenge has been thrown down for it to delicately deliver to me….maybe in a dream, maybe in the midst of meditation, maybe in that gap of thought that transpires at seemingly random moments during the day where I become inattentive enough that a bigger story can be told and my mind can absorb it. I could say that this is as simple as a need for all humans to have communion, but it feels like there is more than just that on offer, there is a new world rising. Can we understand what that ultimately means for us, or will we sink back into our illusions again because they are the devil that we know instead of the strange angel of our better nature. One thing is for sure: I am not going to find it sitting here for another minute.

Dinner is served at 6 o’clock sharp…

Jesus’s Baptism by Giotto

While we do not know for certain why, John the Baptist showed signs of being at great odds with the ruling elites of Jerusalem in the Jewish temple. John was himself in the wilderness, we are told, and showed every sign of living the life as an ascetic: he wore simple clothes and subsisted on honey and locusts. A man like this would be freed to some extent from having to work in order to survive. This would have afforded him more time for contemplative prayer and meditation. Ascetics like this often were mystics, people who sought to know the thoughts of God. There is evidence that John was just this, that he became aligned to the divine compass that rests in all of us. How so?

Baptism as it is practiced today was very different in John’s time. Today we sprinkle water on a child’s head and say their sin is forgiven, their path to heaven is promised. But baptism by John was a different affair. We know through the disciples of Jesus, which took up baptism as an important precursor to discovering the kingdom within that it was imperative that the person want to be washed clean with all their heart

And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is the water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? (37) And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest.

Acts 8:36-7

While in Acts the baptism was couched in believing Jesus as the son of God, baptism was developed as a critically important way to free people from the division that previous sin, that which separates our hearts from the heart of God, could serve as a mechanism of release for people. All you had to do was to buy into it (believe). John was doing this in order to remove sin. John was setting souls free.

One important step toward awakening is cleansing the self of those things which divide us from the light that shines upon us, in us. In every way, Jesus explained that all of this was found within. It begins like a smallest of all seeds, the mustard.

Ritual cleansing baths are an important part of Judaism. John, I note, took the idea of cleansing one step further and created a way to free people from the burden of their past. What is remarkable is that John broke with the temple practice of blood sacrifice as the way to remit sin.

By whose authority did John do this? In his day John would have pointed to God. As any prophet, mystic or seer can tell you, this God is found within us. By John’s own perceptiveness and his desire for a better more peaceful way, he invented baptism. His own authority stamped the method with effectiveness. Yes, just saying it could even make it happen. John and Jesus both understood the role that belief or faith had in the work they did. Anyone employing methods like these understands the role belief plays.

People think there is magic in baptism, but it is entirely empty in truth, it is instead entirely filled by ones faith in it. By the same rule, baptism can be a hollow act if you don’t approach it correctly. There is evidence in the scripture to show that the early ones knew how to do it so that achieved its desired impact. One’s own faith is what works the magic. Does God forgive the sin? No, instead we do. God is always ready to forgive, but it is we who must prepare ourselves, to make our minds and hearts right to be forgiven. At any moment this can happen because of the abundant love that God has for all. We must be able to empty ourselves of the coarse stones that hides how ever-present this love is, how all-encompassing it has always been.

This would easily be counted as heresy today, but that is just how far the faithful have wandered from the core of these rituals. We think there is magic in just doing them, but that just isn’t so. If drinking the wine doesn’t make you feel closer to Christ, it’s your fault. You really have to let your imagination take you for a powerful ride. You had to be ready to give everything up to receive the power of baptism.

It’s important to understand how baptism was performed. In the earliest days a person left all of their garments and went into the water naked. This is one reason why there were furors over women in the early church baptising people. It was considered scandalous for a woman to be performing this with people who were naked. Women did, however, perform baptism. Sadly, baptism has been altered from its original form where one strips away the covering, the guile of the self, to come to God utterly naked. This ceremonial stripping away of what protects and hides us was an important ingredient to the process.

Being naked served to do two two things: it helped a person to surrender to the ritual. It is hard to hide your soul and heart when you stand naked in the water. It also emphasizes how the body will be washed clean of sin. If you believe it will happen, then it will. That is the true magic of baptism, which relies on belief. But who really is letting go of the sin, the burden? You, of course. Most people think of baptism as the method that works it magic. Baptism was a mechanism to help bring a person to a state of surrender: the grip on what needs to be let go is softened, and if the heart is ready, it goes. The more you let go, the less you have standing between you and God. We have forgotten these principles today. In fact, every baptism is done fully clothed. Besides, what’s the big deal, really?

Something happens to a soul when it is unburdened by the weight of the inner division that divides us from the divine; we suddenly are relieved of that which had been weighing us down only moments before. This adds buoyancy to the heart, and brings one ever closer to the divine presence. It is a trapdoor into the soul and its connection to divine presence. Release the right block or stone holding up the dam and the whole eddifice can come tumbling down.

Humans are made up of a series of these blocks or “stones” that serve to keep out the light or the water of life. All awakenings proceed in the same manner: surrendering to the powerful force that undoes us, that, like a physician, removes those things that keep us from the divine light. You didn’t have to be a Jew, you could be from any faith, from any walk of life. The church created the impression that you had to become Christian if you were to enjoy the benefits of the true light.

It’s quite possible that John was in the wilderness because he was not accepted by the temple priests as legitimate. While his method of baptism was drawn from tradition, it also departed from it. There is no mention of John taking money for his services, which would have been different from what happened at the temple in Jerusalem. This may be why he was in the wilderness. It may also be that John saw the corruption there and chose not to participate, we don’t really know for sure. What we do know is that John developed this method on his own and was offering it to others, which stood as a method that bypassed the temple methods of tithing and sacrifice that were filling the coffers of the temple.

It is worth mentioning that during this time the temple priest began hoarding the Jewish coin used for tithing to the temple. This was called the half shekle (also shekel), as no coinage from a pagan Rome could be accepted. This created artificial scarcity and drove the value for coin up. People from the region would come for yearly blessings and religious observances, bringing a bushel of grain or chickens, doves, or other valued resources which would get converted to the shekle. Under the hoarding regime, what took a bushel of grain could end up costing two bushels, later. That’s some pretty bad corruption for you. And who of conscience would want to deal with a system like that? This was the world that John and Jesus found themselves in.

Jews weren’t the only tradition to practice a cleansing of self for reaching the divine, however. The Native American sweat lodge or inipi is an important precursor to receiving divine guidance. One had to cleanse ones self in order to be closer to the divine and to be able to receive its guidance. The Hindus describe a process of cleansing energy channels where they knew past emotion can be stored, a process that also achieved a closeness to the creator. Much of yoga is concerned with this process of cleansing.

Now you might look at this and say, “This has no similarities to baptism!” But you would be wrong. What is key here is psychology. All of these methods work as psychological triggers….if you buy into or believe them. Under the skin, they achieve the same thing.

Rumi once wrote that people argue about the light saying one is better than another when all is light and none better than the other. All of these cultures knew and practice a similar method because it works because of how all people universally divide themselves from their heritage of children of the creator.

When I awakened, I clearly had released a long-standing issue that had me at odds with myself and the universe. As soon as I let it go, I began having symptoms tied to awakening. It was as though a path had been cleared for me where my awareness was freed up to know the fundamental truth of my being as tied to the divine. I didn’t reach this because of a belief or any expectation of any return from having done this work. Likewise, the work of John worked just as much for Jew as Gentile in his day. Jesus’s work and message worked for all-comers. Jesus saw the benefit in John’s work and began to employ it because it worked when done correctly.

To me, this method reveals the compassion that John had for the spiritual suffering of people. He went out of his way to do this work. Imagine this man, holding you and pushing you gently into the water and pulling you back out, pronouncing how you had been washed free of your sin. To do this, you had to trust John, you had to bodily place yourself in his hands. You had to be ready to let go.

Something powerful happens when you are with someone who has achieved this same type of release, also, which has been a well-known principle in many traditions. A teacher is more effective when they embody the knowledge of how the method works? You better believe it. Each person whose heart is open and ready can feel it since it is a deep spiritual truth, and that truth actually has a life beyond just the teacher (as long as followers don’t fall away from the core principles of the method). It was so powerful a method that Jesus went to be baptised, and when he did, his own connection to the divine was in that moment realized.

We often want to think that Jesus was different, but what I see is a man who wanted his own inner sin to be washed away. No one bothers to look at this, though, within the church. It’s as if, as how the institution has portayed it, that baptism was somehow different for Jesus. The elephant in the room is that people were finding relief from what had them divided from the divine. It is entirely reasonable to think that Jesus sought out John as the physician of his heart and soul.

Division within the self serves to hide or obfuscate our deeper, truer, nature. A person not burdened by unresolved feelings of anger, frustration, fear, or guilt, is much more able to understand and glimpse their deeper fundamental nature as a spark of the divine. The same appeared to be true for Jesus, since in the moment as he emerged from the water, something powerful had happened. It may have been more effective for Jesus than others, and this may also be why he adopted baptism as one of the ritual practices that now make up the Christian faith.

While my awakening wasn’t initiated with a baptismal event, the event that took place was, I suspect, identical to how baptism worked in the old days, which was that I was given the opportunity to unburden myself of an inner tangle of emotion about a past even that I hadn’t been able to resolve. I had a slow burn of frustration, guilt, and anger that had been burning a hole in the pocket of my soul. This angst was as much directed at myself as it was the universe for having sent a challenge spiritually that I felt I had failed in the face of. What was so interesting was once this initial release and subsequent shift took place, the challenge completely resolved itself. It could be said that this challenge to my system set up the conditions where enough pressure was brought to bear to serve as the force that would break through the wall seperating me from the depths within. Once I was able to just let it all go, everything changed from that moment going forward. For me, this one stone removed from that wall I had built caused the wall itself to weaken, ultimately allowing the water of life to stream into my awareness and initiate the changes to get me to a better place. It resulted in years of removing barriers I had erected to the divine.

These stones, all of them, were knots of emotion that only served to drown out or hide the soft flow of life-giving water/light of spirit. This all began with one initiatory act, and I suspect that this was also what John, Jesus, and many others were doing some two thousand years ago. Baptism washes away the lower so that the higher may be better glimpsed. It’s not a guarantee of awakening, but one in a series of steps that can work to bring a person closer until they can see the Christ or saving grace that is in us all.

Paul, in his letters explains it as not something that came from without, but as the Christ that was within. He said that God showed him this in his road to Damascus moment when he was struck by a bright white light. Paul wasn’t a believer at all, and was actively persecuting Christians. He waa shown this Christ within himself. Only then did he become such a vocal proponent of the movement. It’s kind of beautiful when you think about it. A tent-maker going around persecuting followers being baptised in the spirit of the Holy Ghost. That’s what happened to Paul. It was so sudden a transformation that he was blind for three days. This could easily have been a condition we call hysterical blindness. If true, it was because Paul needed some time to catch up with the new reality he suddenly was facing. Blindness can manifest it times like these when you are still unable to comprehend the about-face that happened. This underscores just how sudden his awakening was. This is not unlike many awakenings today. It’s quick, really in a glimmering of an eye and there it is. Boom. Say goodbye to Kansas.

This kind of experience was often spoken of in terms of dying to the old self in order to realize a new life, which was the Christ. Paul wrote of dying daily as he came nearer to Christ, a process identical to awakening.

This was one reason why the esoteric strand or sect within Christianity which we call Gnostic today took Paul as their hero. It was this esoteric strand that was best positioned to understand and convey the very keys to this kingdom, which rested on inner seeking and then discovery of a spark which could be kindled into a great light and a realization of the divine hidden within us all. These descriptions were incredibly similar to those found in other cultures which describe the process of enlightenment.

The conspiracy to destroy the Gnostic sects, which contained so much understanding of these and other sacred rituals by the Orthodoxy (that came later) was a conspiracy of ignorance. Within several generations this more secretive group of sects were driven from the institutionalization process we call Christianity today.

What John, his disciples, Jesus, and his disciples knew was that one of the most important aspect to the work they were doing rested on belief in an important way.

Today, we refer to belief in scientific terms as the “placebo effect.” While we tend to denigrate the power of belief in our modern culture by renaming it with a “sciency” moniker (placebo) belief, regardless, remains an important power of mind. Sign up for, say, a drug trial, where you are a subject who might get a new type of antihistamine as part of a study, and you can glimpse what this power of mind can do. It is known that a certain percentage of participants who believe they are getting the drug and not the sugar pill (the placebo) but do get the sugar pill, will often exhibit physiological reactions as if they are actually getting the drug.

While the placebo effect has its limits in terms of how it can heal, it is a significant enough of a response to begin turning the tables for many touched by it. It helps to show how belief can drive the power of the mind for positive change.

John and Jesus knew about this and even explained many times (Jesus specifically) that it was a person’s faith or belief that had healed them. In first century Judea where access to medicine was nothing like what we have today, the effect of their belief made a huge difference in how people felt.

The Orthodox sect of Christianity claims that the books of the Nag Hammadi Library are heresy, but what interests me is how sophisticated the teachings are and just how probable it could be that they represent, in part, a private teaching by Jesus and his followers. Scholars seek to attribute some of the writings to a man named Valentinus who had a vision of the risen Christ and lived in the first century. Valentinus wrote about how he had visited a direct disciple of Paul who explained to him that Paul had both a public and private teaching. The disciple, named Theodus, taught Valentinus about this inner or secret teaching. While this itself does not prove that Jesus had an “inner ministry” there are indications in the synoptic gospels that Jesus did not teach openly to Gentiles, preferring to teach in parables in order to veil the meaning of his teachings, which happened in Mark and to a degree again in Luke. Every tradition on Earth that has had an esoteric wing which hides certain teachings in order to protect the uninitiated from what could prove to bring awakening before the student was ready for the experience.

Baptism was the beginning, one step in a series of passages to free the self of the burdens that exist in a person’s heart. This today would be called “release work” and it plays an important role in luving closer to the divine presence and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it.

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