Archives for category: consciousness

When I was young, eight years old, I dreamed of a very unusual building. I had never seen it before, but because of the content of the dream I suspected that it was a location I had lived in, or maybe it was created in my mind-it was so unusual looking.Enough information was there in the dream to inform me that this had taken place in the 1800’s. When it is important to find a way to convey the information, dreaming will accomplish it.

Years later I saw an image of the exact same building I had seen in my dream. I saw this building on the cover of a magazine. The building was the Tibetan monestary in Lhasa, the location where the Dali Lama resided before Tibetan monks were persecuted under the Chinese invasion of their country.

I know very little about Tibetan Buddhism. I grew up under a kind of inner decree as a child with a directive which stated that I was not to join any school of thought or any religion. This voice or presence said later when I asked why that I would understand this in time. For a particular reason it was important for my own path to not become invested in systems.

When awakening came, it soon became clear. My final chapter in dealing with the innermost secrets of Christianity was it seemed to show how its secrets are the secrets of all other traditions and that these secrets are accesible to all.

This has not been the case before our time now. In fact, the secrets have been surrounded by traditions that have locked them within veils both cultural and dogmatic. There have been reasons for secrecy in order to protect people who had not properly developed their minds and bodies for a force of understanding and presence that can send a person into shock and overwhelm. But in recent years, something has changed…

A series of events worldwide has resulted in a condition whereby what was secret is now being known. These events go back through the centuries and were catalyzed by what you could call steps backwards by humanity. There are too many to count, but they helped yo create a condition by which a threshold was crossed. I will say that I do not see this effect as being like God coming to our aid, but rather is part of a requirement for there to be balance if at all possible. The appearance of many people within so short of a time on earth who are awakening is just such an example. On the one hand, it communicates that we are in a dangerous time, but it also indicates that there are ways that we can eliminate or heal this danger through understanding better our relationship to each other, to our consciousness, and the interrelatedness of all life.

Dangerous times? What??

Yes. While the wave of awakenings is a very hopeful sign, it also is a sign of possible danger because something is being countered. Like? Like extremism of all types, like a darkening rift between those seeking illumination and those stuck in shadow. When I awoke I saw just how deeply some around me tumbled into shadow just as I awoke. One of the people tumbling down asked me if I had noticed this. Oh yeah, I noticed. I remained quiet about it because I knew what it meant. I knew these people would become purposefully ignorant, cruel, even bestial. And they did. The message was “respect freewill,nothing you say will dig them out, only they can do that.” And so it was. I fled the burning world.

So yes, our presence is part of a balance. Its also part of an evolution. This is an innevitable rise of a long-turning tide. In time, the tide will likely turn in the other direction. There will be a flowering for a time, and our movement or day in the sun may turn to winter. That is, if we let it. If we don’t teach, or spread knowing nondogmatically, people could devolve again. It is a cycle. It could also becone part of a new evolutionary spiral. It is up to us. Freewill. Anyway, I digress.

One remarkable culture that walked the talk of kindness and compassion has been the people of Tibet. They remain an important example for how we can be and what is in us to know. Their insistence on compassion and nonviolence is something we all could learn from. Many cultures that have remained sequestered from Western culture in the last 16000 years often developed keen insights into these secrets.

Venerable Nupa Rinpoche

This morning I had a video come across my feed. I wasn’t looking for it and I hadn’t looked at anything related to it recently. When I watched it, I saw someone in it who I felt an immediate recognition of. It was completely unexpected. I found myself in tears. Okay, so he is an old friend, someone from that time most likely in Tibet. He chose to reincarnate there as a monk later, but I chose to reincarnate in the West. I saw that what he is doing now is not that different from what I am doing, it is just that I am learning to do it without the presence of a tradition or teacher. I needed to have other experiences in order to break open the cosmic egg once and for all.

The Tibetan tradition is steeped in learning how to harness tummo or kundalini for perfecting the body and mind. The video I stumbled upon today is a rare look into what many believe is a tradition that is dying out. I suspect it is in the process of transforming. The Dali Lama has said he will choose to reincarnate outside the Tibetan system next time. I did this a few lifetimes ago, choosing instead to explore the golden thread that runs through other traditions instead. I think this is what will transform some traditions, force them open, and make the secrets more accessible to everyone. I think also that awakening can be spread through a simple act of Presence now. This wont be enough, however. It wont be enough to “trust in God.”

Note: Before having watched the entire documentary myself, I went back to it after writing this to find the documentary expressing aspects of this sense about balance I have been describing. For me it helps to see how, for me at least, that this was a confirmation of the things that I have sensed inwardly.

It is with that that I reccomend to you this important documentary. It is not the be-all, but a piece of a longer strand of truth that runs through all traditions. We are the secret. To know this secret we need only know ourselves beneath the day to day monkey-mind that keeps so many distracted.

Yogis Of Tibet

Twelve years in and I have had enough water under the bridge to see how all the work I spent clearing away the dross has impacted my life.

I can say that for as challenging the early stages can be, sticking with it has its benefits. Awakening led me to an undeniable awareness that I had made many compromises in my earlier life that came back to bite me once I could no longer live the old way. Not living the old way simply no longer was tenable once awakening came. This wasn’t just caprice, a desire to be different, but was itself a fundamental return to a basic ground state that had become, to some degree, self-evident.

What was interesting to me as awakening got underway was that the mere presence of awakening in me was showing every sign of affecting those in my life who didn’t align to the presence of my own truth. I thought this curious effect was my imagination at first, but as awakening proceeded it was clear that as I released old karmic material, it served to unsettle others who did not fit this truth, what the Polynesians call “Pono” which means correct alignment.

I should explain that this was not merely the result of my behaving differently in front of others, but that there were deeper subconscious reactions taking place around me that were tied to my own inner work. I have described in previous posts how my then-spouse would go into emotional meltdowns as I privately released inner blockages in my own field of awareness, a reaction that I was able to see was causally tied to what I had been doing just the day before. I observed nine times in a row that this took place over a three month period, each resulting in her going into a temporal meltdown each time. These events continued beyond the nine, but I stopped counting after nine times because I felt I had already met the burden of proof for myself at that point.

This was the crazy world of my awakening, an awareness of this underlying truth of what we all are that began to emerge even though I was living in a toxic environment that favored slumber and dysfunction of those around me. To see how they sought to demonize it (awakening) and me, I saw graphically just how off they were. I was able to see how deception and dishonesty was raised in order to attempt to keep the old regime up and running. It was sad back then, and hard to take because I was the butt of these efforts at keeping the lid on a poisonous can of worms. This helped me to see how buried we can all be in beliefs that limit us all.

After a serious injury the same year that awakening came, I was unable to work and the economic debacle of 2008 the following year made clear that this was a major turning point in many ways for me. Like it or not, I was being put into an environment where my eyes would be opened more and more by having time to myself to reflect on my life. If you knew me pre-awakening, you knew someone who worked long hours trying to grow his business who had his head buried in the sand.

In a reading many years later, this time period was described as my being made into a sacrificial lamb. This characterization seemed odd at first, but as I reflected on what this reader had told me, it made a lot of sense in the end. This is what we ALL do when someone presents us with a view of truth we are not ready to face: we dismiss and sometimes even demonize it. We literally begin to project the falsehoods of our own inner deceits on others as if they belong to those people. It’s so strange how we do this, isn’t it?

I was to focus on awakening. I did. I was able to spend time on it alone. While things might have seemed dire to others, I had this feeling like everything was going to be alright. That was one of the most important time periods in my life. My time in the wilderness. I was able to see that the life I thought I had didn’t fully conform to reality. I was blinded by hope instead of illuminated by clear seeing. I spent easily a year free to reflect and absorb what was happening to me. I wish everyone could do this, just take off a year and meditate, commune with nature, and be with people of like mind.

Like clockwork, whenever something was needed, the universe provided. When I thought about finding work someone I didn’t know contacted me about a job that was perfect for me. I landed the job and it helped me to develop my teaching skills, an important step in the next phase of my work. But before that, I had been carefully cared for even though it didn’t seem that way to others. It allowed me an unprecedented gaze into the mysteries of this phenomenon and how it was slowly but surely taking me apart and putting me back together again.

I learned that those to whom I was connected were not really able to see me for who I was despite the innextricable deep soul ties that we had. I saw that what probibited this clear knowing was always their own inner baggage. I myself also had my own baggage, and awakening, while clearing me of it, did not clear all of it in one magical twinkling, but was instead a process. Storms of energy would sweep through, and each time less and less remained. More peace took its place each time, but this was gradual. It was fast by any other standard, but still it was a process. I wa able to see how someone so close to me could know so little while inserting so much into the narrative that didn’t belong.

I learned that when people aren’t ready to face truth, they will project. It does no good to point out the truth. People are only ready when they are ready. The mere presence of connection does not mean that there is a purpose or destiny in it, only that there is something in me that is not fully resolved at a karmic level, and that these karmic entanglements are at the heart of the soul connection phenomenon…the twin flame or whatever your term dejour is for it.

In one case for me, a connection was forced. You might think there is no way this could happen, but it absolutely did. It was true that I had known this person before this forced coupling took place and I had no underlying fascination with this person previous to this event. How this went down showed me that a soul connection is not destiny but in fact can be manufactured when the right ingredients are present. It is made all the stronger bye preponderance of karma that cane passed to the other person in this entangling of twinning process. While others get lost in the foreverness of these connections, I saw that it instead was simply a mechanism for unlocking soul potential and that this had little to do with destiny at all. I know this throws cold water on the entire topic, but I can say if it happened to me, I am not merely an anomoly. In fact, I found an entire community of people who suspected that this phenomenon was not all as it seemed. They attributed the phenomenon to an outside agency or force that had less than perfect intentions. I don’t agree with their take on the phenomenon either, since I see as many holes in the argument as there are in other “twin” descriptions out there today. I think I fall into a middle way that states that the universe is neutral.

Entanglement (“twinning”) is a phenomenon that can occur when all the right set of requirements are met. The universe does not care if the ingredients are positive or negative, only that they be present. If so, an entanglement takes place. The ingredients that are used determine the intensity of the entanglement. The ingredients can be our own innability to see the truth and thus whatever that karma represents in specific feeds into the entanglement. The problem, though, is you can have a direct line to a person’s soul while the personality is itself extremely polarized from the higher self to the point where earthly self and higher self bear little resemblance to one another. This happened to me. My experience was with someone who resisted her transformation instead of embracing it to the degree that she could have. Still, awakening is difficult for all of us and we do what we can do. All of this opened my eyes to show me that even those who awaken can languish for years in the remaining karmic tangles they have set for themselves. I no longer needed to be their helper or savior. In fact, I was much better off alone instead of mtrinating in a desire to quell lonliness. I found that true love arises out of aloneness, in owning our solitary state while seeing how everythng is simultaneously wedded together even at the subatomic level. It is the higher levels in us that need the work, not the more fundamental ones.

By seeing how this person tried to blame her troubles on the world and me I got a clear view on the depth of inner deception we can build around ourselves, even as we awaken. I had in my own way done similar things a few years before, but now I was rushing the exits. I had a little more perspective by this time.

I had been, for my part, unsettled by a lot that went down during awakening, unsure that I’d ever get back to my business again. Clearly, awakening could not be bothered about what I wanted. I was going to take this time to slow down whether I liked it or not. This resulted in my reaching states where I could tap into streams of pure information that I was able to use to further my development. These states came as blissful epiphanies where it was like I was being attended to by a cosmic librarian who would show me to books that would teach me about a host of subjects I knew litle about. In some cases, this “librarian” would push me in certain directions. Sitting by a river on rocks, my mind flipped through the pages of a world of living information existing as energy and described by the Hindus as the akashic records. Edgar Cayce had said he used these to perform his readings. Curiously, they way he described how h achieved this was exactly how I found myself accessing them.

In one instance, I was shown how matter is created from energy. This helped me to see how two complimentary energies served to form physical reality. The bottom line, the lesson, was that the universe was not just alive, but that it was based in play and bliss. It showed that creation is a cooperative unifying event that happens inside of us along the line of the Ida and Pengal currents and that we can also create in groups a well as with a singular other.

I was shown the role that the three brains have in learning how to utilize awakening to its best effect. These brains, the light explained or showed me, were the reptile, mammal, and primate brain all present in us as beings on the planet. It explained that no part of this system could be ignored, and explained how best to use each part of the brain in order to realize the best process. Denying their presence was a disastrous way to go, it explained, and it showed how to balance thought and feeling across them in order to harness them in what could be a new synthesis of consciousness where there is less fragmentated behavior. All parts had to present. The brain had a way to mirror higher order consciousness by kowing how to use what gifts we were bestowed with.

I was shown in another epiphany moment how the energy body and the neurophysiology are in some ways mirrors of each other. I was shown the role that the “zero point” energetically has with the way that the brain and body are arranged in order to mirror a very similar principle in brain wiring or mapping.

I am pointing these things out in order to illustrate how fleshed out all of this information was and that all I needed to tap it was a deep open bliss state coupled with a focus or desire to know more even though I knew little on the topic. I mention this because you can do it also. This was what a psychic who did a reading on me described as my ability to speak from the master realm. If I can do it, you can too, but it requires an ability to keep your mind a total blank slate or else you will fill it with information that does not belong. You have to constantly feel as though you are empty and constantly grasping for the material. You always do this blindly, always unassuming but excited in the heart that soon, its life/information will fill you. There is no determining or chewing or digesting in process as far as trying to determine what it all means as it is coming, you just soak it up first, then roll it around in your head later. No expectation of any outcome. This got easier the more I could trust the process.

In retrospect, I wouldn’t have changed anything. For years I lost my creative groove. I lost confidence and then discovered how easy it is to do that when surrounding yourself with toxic people. I had been using my creativity as a way to gain approval. Yuck! It all crashed and burned and was ressurected to what it is today, which sems to be much healthier and much more stable and dependent on no one’s say-so. It was me handing my powe to another. Shame on me.

Now, over a decade later, I have recreated my lines of work in my business. I literally have all new work including the old standby’s. I am utilizing the internet for marketing, building community, and growing my business. This is a third incarnation of my business, first on a retail model, then wholesale, and now using the internet to do both. The thing is, it’s working. The steps are modest but each one is a step forward instead of backward. I have as many new designs created as designs that I had originally before all this happened.

Since October I have taught over 235 sessions to members in my community, held open studio events, and I am getting ready to migrate my site to a new server for greater speed and accuracy. I will begin growing my base on a national level in the new year. What feels different now is just how open and possible everything is. Step by step… While I sometimes worry about cash flow, there is a presence that tells me that everything is goung to be okay just as long as I stay out of my own way.

This past Spring I was given the gift of Ganesh, known as the remover of obstacles, a Hindu god that is the elephant-headed child of the union of Shakti and Shiva. It seems that many obstacles have been removed. It was a symbolic event spurring me to see that yes, there are fewer obstacles in the way. It feels exciting, like a new lease on life.

Being able to follow my instincts has led me to increasingly better and better places. By going it alone I have been able to also leave the old dysfunction behind, the very kind that served to limit. I know now that with a studied approach, anything is possible.

Recently I began having a flood of ideas for sculpural work dealing with nonduality as content. I have very much wanted to do sculptural work in this vein.

I realized that this new body would require a new special oven for making the work. While trying to upgrade a kiln in the studio, I was sent the wrong size elements. When things like this happen, it is usually a sign that something is up. It wasn’t a simple oversight, it was something more. While trying to work the problem, I realized that I had a kiln a friend had given me a number of years ago for helping her move it out of her parents house. At the time, I really had no use for it but thought I would store it. I forgot it was even there until this glitch happened. Turns out I have a fully functional kiln for large work. Perfect. I just had to stop going in the old direction to realize the new one waiting for me. Follow the flow.

In the midst of all of this, I have been educating myself through researching early Christianity for a book I promised myself I would begin working on in the new year. I announced recently to my customers that I would be closing down the studio for a few months in order to build new equipment, clean up the studio, and get started on this book. This book is about how Christianity may well have been changed by the power elites in the third to fourth centuries while attempting to wipe the existence of a private doctrine from history, an event they nearly succeeded in doing.

The thing is, I didn’t make this discovery because of my superior knowledge of Christology, but because I had an awakening. I have had to educate myself in order to get up to speed on what is known historically about Christianity in order to speak with any sort of authority about whtst will surely strike many people as a revolutionary take on the mission of Jesus as a Christ. It has been daunting.

Scholars study the content as well as the materials that make up the oldest known gospels. They also study how the words were formed on the page as providing insight into when a text was written, for example. A lot can be known from what exists. However, what I discovered was not something scholars have understood, which is how heretical texts present the single most sophisticated understanding of the “physiology”of spirituality to date and that it links them to a level of esoteic understanding that the Hindu’s have possessed for generations. And yet scholars see but do not always understand just what they are looking at.

I have been considering spending a month abroad in Europe doing the bulk of the writing just to get it done. No distractions, no one who knows me, and a lot of quiet. I love the idea of doing this, but I may hole up in my bedroom instead. I would love to visit family in Denmark and see friends in the U.K. I’ll see if the universe offers up an unexpected twist on that one.

In the meantime, I have a new interview I am transcribing from an audio recording I made from a family friend who experienced awakening exactly one decade before me (within a week of my own awakening) that will be put up soon. It is a pretty interesting account of two strangers meeting and awakening together.

In another post I will be passing along some very interesting developments in math and science in regards to nonduality and the nature of consciousness which you wont want to miss. That comes in a few days. I think it is pretty groundbreaking material. Until then….may the force be with you!☺

~Parker

I have been increasingly busy lately with a relaunch of my business, a “redux” that takes into consideration the tools we now have for doing business remotely. The internet represents a giant shift in how we communicate, connect, do business, and live our lives. Not good or bad (not yet anyhow), and those who can learn to harness it will find their way down this new path.

These last two years have been marked with my designing entirely new work in my creative medium, hot glass. The old wasn’t tossed, just added to. In the process I shared the new work on Facebook, and watched as my base grew. This period represented some of the most productive periods in my life creatively since founding my studio in September of 1997. Literally scores upon scores of new works were brought forward. There is still more to bring forward. Goodness sakes.

While Awakening appeared to tear me down, it also released a lot that was not necessary. So much change, some extremely rapid, some slower. But what made it impossible for me to create in my medium at one stage became the very thing that vaulted me forward. I am left praying that the universe offers up all the right people in divine timing for the next chapter of growth upcoming, because I will need just the right kind of people who can be a part of the studio to help it move forward.

For a time I considered that the intelligence within this energy had no care as to my welfare, but I found that I was wrong. It just wants me clear and aligned, the rest are details. Turns out I may have been sabotaging myself without fully realizing it.

As a result of all this work, which has transformed my studio practice, I have been running to keep up with the pace. I just haven’t had time to write much unfortunately, so you haven’t heard much from me.

In the last few months, a very interesting thing happened. I was about to cancel my subscription to Gaia after subscribing to this online channel for a few years. As a result, I was trying out videos I might not have tried otherwise. One was called Soul Power with Carolyn Myss.

In it she described a series of archetypes in personalities. All are universal and regardless of culture, and each responds in exactly the same way for everyone when working through the shadow side of them to begin embodying them in a positive polarity. She began describing one archetype that I knew made up a part of my own inner landscape. When she made the prescription for how to release the shadow aspect, I found myself very quickly reaching into her words and being able to put her words into an inner action in a radical act of forgiveness for what my ex-wife had done to me and my children during our divorce a few years after awakening had come. It was like the flip of a switch on a large part of this issue. I will also explain that none of the bad things would have happened to me had I simply made better choices in a spouse. To do that, I would have either been healed already, ir not reacting to the elements that subconsciously triggered me. I will also state here that I certainly had warning signs from my subconscious through dreams and quite bizarre signs (one just before stepping out to get married), so there is that.

I found also that a relationship I had after my divorce which ended up involving someone who acted in spookily similar ways towards me as my ex resulted in a release of that person from a small but persistent hook in my karmic life. I could actually feel the hook release. I could then feel my energy reach a calmer state, with a feeling of more balance and solidity which followed. My energy later began peaking back into those highs of rarefied pranic-induced states. But calm now, no longer turbulent.

The voice spoke:

When you accepted or believed in your own limitations, you naturally attracted others with complimentary limitations which then served as a foil to your own self-imposed limitations dictated by those beliefs. When you let those limiting beliefs go, you gave up the hook along with the sinker that weighed you down. Naturally, forgiveness was the fulcrum that shifted this within you.

I could feel my own essential energy flood back with the admonition to not look back. “Flee the burning building, just leave. The whole world is a burning world, with everyone trying to keep their beliefs carefully in place as they cannot see the flames all around them. Their immolation will be their own lesson, just as it was once your own. Just go…” And I did just that. A feeling of relief followed. I had this feeling that with that weight gone that I was now more than ever myself, free from entanglements, freer than I had been before, at least. That voice said sonething about how I had handed my own energetic essence to those peole for misuse. I misused it myself, too. I came away with the distinct sense that they will now be missing something they thought was theirs. A sucking sound, a rebalancing happens, and a new more real path will open to them without my energy to feed on. I’m not sure if that is how it will really play out because I also want to remain optimistic for the best outcome for everyone.

It reminded me of an experience I had after getting out of college. I had gone through a relationship with someone who experienced a deep trauma partway through our relationship while she was away during the summer on a trip to Europe.

This trauma put a heavy burden on our relationship. It made me feel as though I was living with a stanger in many ways because of the effects this event had on her. We wound up going our different ways after school, and about six months later, I had a dream in which I dreamed that something, a cord perhaps, broke free from her. I found myself strapped into the cockpit of the space shuttle as it shot up into space after this cord broke free. It was a sense as though I had been lending my energy out to her. Had I? Had I called this onto myself? Was it just me lending my energy out in order to remain attached? Or was this something that happened because of both of us?

The feeling I had then helped to illustrate how our energy can become enmeshed in others and remain that way, acting as a drag on our systems all the while. I’m in a very different place than I was then, so the experiences were different and yet they also shared clear similarities with one another.

Many things got easier in the wake of this most recent release. Still other issues rose to the surface to be looked at, but this is a great improvement. The path of clearing continues and with each one I can see more clearly and less through a glass painted with belief.

It’s interesting how quickly things change, though. Behavior changes, habits change. Some remain, but they aren’t the ones that are causing grief or upset. It will all get done. And each time, a clearer channel of perception, a better ability to see things as they are. I remain humble and watchful for that which remains.

Part of this issue I released appears to have been related to abundance. Gearing up for a studio event, there seemed to be one hurdle and challenge after another. It made me second guess myself. Was this the universe or my higher self telling me I needed to get on with my healing work for others, to write that book that has been nagging at me? No, it wasn’t a message, it was my own energy getting in the way all along. The release came, and despite all of the technical glitches with the roll-out of a complicated new site, people began piling on shooting my profile upwards almost all on their own. No, it was working. Instead of losing customers over glitches, I began gaining them. People called in to have orders shipped who could not attend in person, or who couldn’t order online because of some odd glitch in the site that remains to be figured out.The tables were turning.

The event resulted in my nearly selling out of work. And here I was fretting over having made too much. I could have made twice as much. Leason learned. Sometimes we really do need to suspend belief if we are to see things as they are. I had it all wrong. I had to get out of my own way.

While incredibly busy, I find my thoughts are more systematic. I feel less scattered and I am able to plough through what needs doing more easily. I can’t say things are completely healed, but it is an improvement. There is less second guessing, although the volume of the emotional work was itself a remaining tail of the old way from around the time this healing took place, which was also near the time that this studio event was planned. What’s more: I feel blessed with this time and these creative gifts that I get to share with my community to help others realize their own capacity for being inspired, be it learning glassblowing in classes or buying something from the gallery as a treasured gift.

People sent me photos of their piece sitting on their dining room tables or the one lady who showed me her glass collection just to drive home how she really was an enthusiast when it came to glass. That was better than any sale I could have ever made. It was like their inner child felt brave enough to peek out to show itself. The heart glows in moments like those.

Our nature is essentially creative. All around us we see its positive and negative effects (because even waging war is itself a creative activity at its root-as much as it pains me to say). It oozes out of everything we do, and yet so many of us throttle it back. When released, we glow.

People say that kundalini is sexual energy. What they miss is at its root, prana is wildly creative. It does not have the limits placed on it as those we impose on ourselves. We do not realize how limited we are, all the result of our having shut down our inner creative flow. So if prana is focused through our sex, it feels sexual, but it also flows through all other channels and corners of our being, and that is what I want to point out to you here. Its only because of how shut down sexually that we are that the enegy feels like its coming to get us in a sexual way. If you remain open and stop clutching at it, that intense sexual awareness softens and changes character. It becomes buoyant, less troubled, less clutching, and gripping. You realize this can be used for anything and you are only experiencing the tip of the tiger of prana. Instead of grabbing, open your arms. Open your heart, open your mind, and open your body together all at once. I will bet where the energy feels intense is where healing remains.

I mention kundalini as creative because it is that nature that has the power to heal, to show us a new way. A new life awaits and most likely it is achieved gradually as each stuck emotion and its history is felt fully and then released from the deeper parts of ourselves. Call it shadow work, call it whatever you like. It can bring change.

I don’t know what tomorrow looks like and I recall I have over a hundred draft posts I could publish, one a week for almost the next two years if I needed to. I know that if things keep getting better, I will be able to use the relative calm of January and February to sit down and thrash out this book on early Christianity. Maybe if I can get every piece of research sorted out it might be easier than I fret over its being.

I have learned a lot about the early church and how different Christianity really was from what it is today. A secret lies at its core, though, and its time that this secret is released. I feel like I am faced with completing these things, that it is time to just get on with it. This book, that voice says, is one big life purpose. That is daunting, so I hesitate. It tells me the way forward is how I always move forward: ignore what I think others might think and do it how I feel in my heart it needs to be done. In a way, the book isn’t for anyone except me, one of my final testimonies of my journey through countless incarnations. If I make it into some stage production, I freeze up. If I write it like I am writing it to myself, everything about it changes. It seems to just flow.

I hope you will read the newest interviews, all in the menu’s at the top of the page. I think they help to show how awakening is experienced through our glorious (not illusory) individuality. I am so glad the people who took part did so. We are not all identical Buddha’s. We each are experiencing this phenomenon through the inviolate validity of our own souls in motion and in time.

Finally, I leave you with this inspiring video that puts a fine enough point on all of this. Namasté.

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I have been doing a lot of research now on a subject near and dear to me: early esoteric Christianity. As a result of this work, I have begun to discover a few things about Eastern tradition as it relates to awakening, and most specifically kundalini.  When I say “Eastern” I include Indian, Chinese, and Japanese traditions for the most part.

Before I touch on that, let me say that I made a fascinating discovery about esoteric Christianity that happened concurrently with my awakening experience in the first few months of my awakening: they, early Christians, were describing kundalini in their own way. Sure, the words being used were different, but by cross-referencing throughout their documents, it was clear what they were describing. My research is about this and I am hoping to develop it into a decent guide that helps to show that Jesus was indeed teaching a secret doctrine. This was a secret because not everyone was ready for it. And no, I am not remotely suggesting Jesus travelled to India or Tibet to “get” this. For my money, my theory is more fascinating and hopeful than that. I think there is ample evidence to suggest that anyone who has awakening can describe and then teach about it after having experienced it if they are good at being able to understand its many facets and can convey the information in a cogent and direct way….and even in indirect ways.

This, though, is about a link to awakening that was picked up by Jesus that does not appear to be taught in the East. At least not in any direct way. I know this link because it was a clear and certain element in my awakening. Coincidence? Nope!

This missing element strikes me as the essence of what opens us each to awakening. This link, a seed really, if understood properly, could help awaken more of us. Maybe.  Probably. It would mean having the right teacher who knows how to relate a person to what this missing link means in our consciousness. It would mean learning how to be different, or how we relate to what we are deeper down. Its just a seed, but great things grow from them. Like a mustard seed, maybe. Winks.

The interview with Ian is now up and is now permanently installed on its own page, which you will see along the header for the blog.  My thanks to Ian for being willing to go along with this project. I hope that it helps folks gain a broader perspective based on those who have been going through it.  ❤

 

We all are familiar with the seven major chakras that are situated along the torso of our bodies, but would it interest you to know that there are many thousands of minor chakras all through the body?

The ancients knew, who developed their understanding of the subtle energy system known by the Chinese as the meridians and naddi by the Indians, that this system carried chi or prana. This subtle energy system also had the ability to record or contain emotional energy that would then serve to effect the proper flow of the subtle energy. This is the energy of both life and consciousness. Releasing this blocked energy helps to make for a more peaceful and authentic life (more naturally enjoyable).

In the Indian system, one worked to clear this material as a precursor to raising kundalini. Doing so, they contend, makes awakening the kundalini, our hidden energetic potential, a less chaotic an affair. As Westerners, though, we tend not to have these practices available to us, so we often have to go about it differently. Lucky for us, kundalini will help clear the stuck, knotted, or blocked energy (albeit in a more intense fashion for a time).

Most often when we speak of chakras we think of the major seven, but as I have pointed out here before, there are many others. The energy we call prana is itself conscious. The more that we tune that in, the more we can be enriched by its limitless knowledge and potential.

The swami’s of India teach about knowledge that does not come from the senses but comes through ones consciousness, which is itself a sensing means for the knowing that can come from “tuning in.” It makes sense, then, that clearing away the detritus within can help you to see and feel more clearly. As Westerners, we are catching on a bit late, but we are catching on.

I have known people who were unable to do this clearing work. Their minds are clouded by the material that masks their inner perception. I can say being with these folks is challenging because they cannot see what is truly there and they feed off perceptions colored by their innermost emotional baggage. Do you want to be that person? Many teachers point to this as an absolute necessity to do asap. I concur. It takes time and patience, but you also have all the time in the world.

What you do today stays with you as an indelible accomplishment. Plus, what you do not finish now can be picked up in your next life. If my experience is any guide, you will pick this work up again in another body and what you release now wont be there when you pick it up again (hint: this work is too important to the soul not to continue with!). If you begin and develop a strong enough interest, it will carry through. Plus, you may be reading this because an earlier version of you in time was involved in a similar pursuit.

I have noticed a keen interest taken in the posts I have done on leg chakras previously. We have them, but little is said about them. Because of how little they are covered, not much is known in a popular way about them. You can find several posts on this subject by using the search bar and it will take you to those.

In one post, I describe each chakra in the legs and what energies in consciousness that they align with. This post is for people who are used to meditation and are able to sit quitly enough to begin to feel into their energy that we call prana or chi.

I will point out for those interested that the points in the legs where energy can get stuck can often be effectively released by a good body worker or massage therapist very often. This is done by way of deep tissue massage along with the practitioner who can sense of feel where the stuck energy is. I have found some very accomplished energy workers in this field. There are othee methods such as Chi Kung (also spelled Gung), acupressure and acupuncture.

Not long ago I described a healing meditation that could be used to arouse prana for helping to heal blocked energy through a simple position of the hands together. You could say that the hands help to enrich and activate prana in the body when you can wuiet your mind and place your focus only on your hands (no “doing”).

In the meditation which I refer to as a foot “mudra” it is possible to begin to tap into the awareness that you have of the energies that flow through the legs along with the energetics of consciousness that reside there in feeling.

There is something that happens at the subtle level when we bring hands or fingers together from each side of the body. The existence of mudras acknowledges this. What happens when you bring your hands together like this on an energetic level is you are joining the energies, in part, of the whole field of your energy body in the upper torso part of the field. We call this Ida and Pengali, the masculine and feminine. While there is a large channel of these two running up the torso alongside the central channel called the shushuma, there are channels in the arms and legs that also have these lines or channels in them (because consciousness exists as a result of the union of these seeming opposites in ourselves, even at the level of the energy, which merge moment by moment to generate all phenomenon).

When we place thumb and index finger on one hand together in a mudra position, what happens is we are joining the circuitry from different parts of the energy body in that region together. If you can dial up your sensitivity to feeling your energy, you can feel a subtle difference energetically and in consciousness between thumb and index finger touching than, say, your thumb and middle finger. For those who try this and don’t feel anything, my suggestion is that you need to try tuning in more. Get quiet. Let your thoughts quiet down. Feel your energy. You may only feel the edge of something at first, but given optimal conditions of introspective curiosity and a receptive openess to feeling your own energy, you can tune this in like a faraway radio signal more and more. You accomplish this less by trying and more by allowing, letting down those noisy barriers you didn’t even realize you had. I know this is supposed to be about the feet, so here we go.

If you want to try this “mudra” as I call it, simply sit with feet uncovered and place them together. You might want to calm down and center yourself by performing some breathwork which is well suited for this. I have always found breathing like how we breathe when we are asleep to be highly effective because it signals to the body that you are relaxed. It is a great trick.

Slow steady breath in, hold it for a two or three count, and let it go in a slow steady exhale. Pause at the bottom for a second or two, and repeat a number of times. You will find yourself feeling much calmer in no time. You can keep a slow gentle breath throughout this exercise, and how long you do this is up to you.

There is nothing gained in feeling uncomfortable. I know some yoga practices teach you to deal with feeling uncomfortable in the hopes of your being able to stay in a given position for long periods, but my experience has shown me that you will be much more succesful if you can adopt a posture that you will remain comfortable in so discomfort doesn’t even enter in. There is nothing honorable in feeling physical discomfort. When prana flows at a high enough level, you will experience supreme bliss. This is what all methods are there for. There is no reason to climb a mountain in boots that make you feel like you are slipping and falling. The point is reaching this beautiful place as efficiently as possible. So be comfortable because you will want to keep at it more. When you realize that cosmic consciousness is for all of us as an aspect of what we are, you might begin to appreciate how we are all the same deep down. We are each like glasses filked with water. Qualitatively, what is the difference between the water in your glass and the water in the ocean?? The only difference is in quantity. You are a bit of the cosmic. All water knows itself and the drop knows it is also the ocean. It is a beautiful thing and it waits for when you are ready. This work can help you along the way…

I have done this posture before and I have had others who are like me in terms of their awareness of their energy in their bodies, and the results have been interesting when I have asked them to take this position. I discovered this position in meditation when my inner voice told me to place my feet together.

So sit like this, quiet mind, letting thoughts coming and going without getting hooked on any one thought, and feel your energy. Just feel. Feet together, breathe to calm your mind and body. Don’t try to do anything or force anything in your mind. This is all about checking in a little more deeply than you are used to. By not trying to make this into anything, see if any sort of impressions begin to arise without your trying to turn them into anything. Don’t judge, just observe. You can keep your breath gentle, deep and slow, if you want.

Take note of what you feel or what seems to express in your mind. You are just a reporter here, so you can take this time for yourself to simply observe.

In work like this it is sometimes possible to encounter the effects of blocked energy. You could feel the edge of an emotion that might get stronger, but let it come and don’t feel like you have to break through anything. Let them be like air bubbles that float up to the surface. Try not to react negatively to what you feel or may seem to feel; your emotions are like thoughts. Thoughts are the result of your reaction to something, but it may not be the whole story, so do your best not to get hung up on what you feel or see. Often just being aware can cause them to dislodge and rise.

I think of the legs as aligning to our most problematic emotions, but also to the simpler and more primal ones. They can be expressed in a positive or negative polarity and any energy stuck down there might be pretty hard, but this is why I am telling you to be as neutral as you can be. I think it is fair to say that many people have a hard time bringing the light of their awareness to this region both in their bodies and their consciousness because of this. Bear in mind that anything troublesome that you might feel is only energy which has gotten stuck in a negative polarity. That same energy is waiting to be turned to its positive pole through a simple act of forgiving yourself for whatever that energy represents. It is easy to turn hard into soft if you remain detached and keep your wits about you. On the other hand, you should always consider your comfort zone and know when enough is enough. That said, with each exploration, you can gently push the envelope bit by bit so that in time you make progress through this deep dive into yourself.

For those already familiar with energy and who may have awakened kundalini, it may be that this work may feel intense. I found myself wanting to turn away from what I felt the deeper I went, but I also found that by simply bringing the light of my awareness to this place that I shook things up, like how a spade turns old hard earth. Each exploration was a benefit.

I have also performed this posture with hands clasped together at the same time, which is akin to turning all currents, save the crown and root, into themselves. Since there isn’t a lot that seems to be taught on this position (one form of yoga expressly states not to use this bound foot position while others do), I would be interested in whatever it is that you find yourself experiencing.

There you go. I hope that this adds another wrinkle that you can try discovering. If you try it let me know what you think. If you liked this post, let me know by hitting the like button. I’m never sure if the things I find interesting get through the same way with others, so it’s helpful to get feedback.

~Blessings~

P.

Awakening and inspiration share very similar attributes, and are to my mind siblings to each other within the self.

To reach each, the path or method is so similar. The inspired state requires surrendering everything that does not belong, that will hold you back, not push you forward. Inspiration is thought of as that elusive state that cannot be forced. Artists and creatives go “looking for it.” Popping on a CD, taking a walk, maybe some coffee in a corner of the shop scribbling, waiting for the mood to strike. You look or wait for it like an elusive jaguar slipping through the dense underbrush…you never know when it is going to show itself. One waits for it expectantly.

When it does arrive, you are letting it in, not wresting it to the ground. When it comes, it is as if you are invincible, on top of the world. Anything is possible.

In truth, inspiration comes when we allow ourselves to be dissarmed, when we let go the monkey mind that chatters away. You don’t force inspiration the same way that you don’t force awakening. Why is that?

Inspiration isn’t a rational process at its core. It may suit up using rational decisions…which instrument to play, what key, what time signature, or brush or color. But all of those things are subjects of inspiration, subservient to its need, desire, and play. Inspiration is, or can be, an utterly unbounded state in which anything is possible but only one thing can usually be done at a time. An entire year’s worth of creative output can be conceived in moments like these. I know that this is often the case for me. I have to pick and choose the things that have the best use of my time. Much is similarly discovered when one is awakened. Worlds emerge in both the inspired and awakened state. Why?

Both inspiration and nonduality are deeply rooted in creativity. All forms of it. People describe kundalini as a libidinous force, but I experience it as radical creativity in all of its forms. The desire in the physical for the beloved is itself a creative act of love…that creates new life. Curious, too, how we have so much shame surrounding that part of ourselves. Curious as well how little our cultures honors the arts. The powers that be prefer to make money selling war machines. So easy, so uncreative, so destructive. A world upside down. One expands, the other contracts. For now, this is how this world is.

We must fill it with the juiciness of our art, our music, our photography, and the love that is present in both inspiration and in awakening or nonduality. We must do this without cheapening either of them but making them even more precious…inspiring others even if they cannot hold a note, or paintbrush or a meditative state (yet).

So if you want to know awakening, know your creative impulse because that is the tail of the cosmic tiger.

I found this to speak so closely to my experience, what I strive for, what I have encountered, what I strive for more…truly, not as effort, but as what naturally arises as the self is purified more and more. More work to do, but his words are so on point…

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Sleeping, slumbering, rolling deep within is that part of you you always suspected must be there, your link to the infinite.

Bigger than you, scary when it first comes, its resources are amazing. Like a deep ocean, an aquifer moving silently beneath your awareness, the path to its ineffable reality lies in the innocence of your heart, the desiring of your soul, a few chance encounters with eyes closed or an event that shakes you out of your workaday world. It is like a mystery, and yet there it is, shining new in each moment that you find it. Or did it find you?

Letting go puts you in its grip. Dissolving the rational allows it to step forward. Now this is usually where most “normal” people stand up with raised hand, seeking to interject a “Yes, but!..”  But what I am explaining to you is not business as normal.  Humans have, for centuries, sought to control by way of the rational, and this, I will point out, is precisely the problem.  Anyone, most great teachers in nonduality have pointed, who seeks to go this path will find only trouble and difficulty.  Shoals await you in such an effort, and this is where many remain.  No, the path forward is letting go of those tendencies that have hung us up since forever.  The way to cosmic consciousness, this larger stream or sense of presence, does not lie through the limited rational mind and it’s left brain.  Instead, it is the right mind or brain that has the demonstrated capacity for handling the broad sweep that is cosmic mind.  Listening, expecting miracles, bids it to come near. Every single teacher, every single experiencer all comes back from this experience and explains that this is not a thing tied to “doer-ship.” Are you getting the picture?   Wiping your slate clean is how it can communicate with you, or rather, perhaps even better, letting go of what it is that you think you know is one of the cracks in the wall between the mundane and the ineffable. Let go the small to grasp the big, and yet it is no grasp, no trying. It is the one that can bring you so much.

People struggle saying how hard it is. Only if you let the rational and its playmate, ego, have its way. This teaches you how not to be so you can BE. It is a great windswept silence that returns you to those places long forgot. So simple, this is no place for a linear mind. This is our multidimensional nature. How could anything so linear as the rational left brain ever hope to guide you? You need the nonlinear, holistic part of your mind, which is a mirror for that part of your eternal consciousness to channel and express itself through this body, this self. Learn its secrets which are breath, movement, and quiet intuition. The Sophia within.

When awakening came I saw that there was another part of me, clearly tied to both body and mind, that had come on line.  A switch flipped, a new world of a kind, a very new kind.  Awakening is not some kind of exotic, it is not tied only to consciousness.  The body must also follow, as it is a mirror of consciousness.  I observed that my ability to see the bigger picture increased significantly to the point of increased intuition, and psi ability. These are the symptoms of awakening.  The Hindu call these siddhis, and they have been extensively reported by those in eastern traditions as well as those who are awakening today more or less spontaneously.  We also know that the two hemispheres of the brain are oriented differently.  One deals largely with linear processes, handles language, and does not show a masterful ability to tap into feeling.  The right brain, however, is not linear, but shows every sign of being able to process many streams of information at once.  The left brain abstracts, finding the most important aspects of an idea or object and it highlights those.  Very useful for certain things.  The right brain, however, is able to see the whole picture without any need to abstract.  This is one reason why artists are said to be “right brained” which is that they “draw what they see.”  However, the right brain does not appear to have an ability to pinpoint the important aspects of this big view.  It is the right brain that has the capacity to comprehend cosmic consciousness.  Remember, the right brain is not here judging or prioritizing. It is this capacity that makes the right brain so good at this “new” state of mind because it is less apt to be biased or creating some sort of preconceived bias which would color what the whole mind or person thinks they are seeing.

Perception is not done at the level of the physical senses only, but it is has been shown to be “formed” by the individual as that person “thinks” about what it is that they believe they are experiencing.  As a result, you will get all kinds of explanations about what people think awakening is.  Luckily, we have a host of pretty specific symptoms to help this hold together pretty well, but it also leads to a lot of speculation based on thinking.  This is both good and bad, a double-edged sword.  As one remains unbiased in what they think they are experiencing, the more the phenomenon leaks through over time and informs the individual.

If you would like a primer on what it is like to have the left hemisphere shut down for a time, I recommend that you go to YouTube and watch Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk entitled, “A Stroke Of Insight” which describes her experience of how a stroke in her left hemisphere left her, a neuroanatomist, without many of the functions of her left hemisphere.  What she describes in her talk is nothing short of a brush with samadhi, and samadhi is the cornerstone experience of awakening (or is eventually once the person has gotten a handle on this new kind of state of being).   You can see her talk HERE. So what is the point in this little brain primer?

Let the rational observe. Let it watch from a distance. Don’t let it get any ideas. Take notes but don’t pretend that you know. The more empty you are, the more you can be filled by it. The more empty that you are, the more you can be guided by its great mystery and power. The more you have it figured out, the more it eludes you. Consider the choice you might not usually take but that keeps bubbling up around the edges of your awareness. That is the corner stone that most toss away as unimportant.

You have this, but to gain it, you must let it all go in order to grasp the bigger. It is like embracing the wind. Now let it it take you. This befudles most people and sounds like wishy-washy bullshit.  But this time, it is not.

There is a sleeping giant within. So many never find it because the way to it cannot be known by what you know. Instead, feel. Who wants to do this?  TO learn how to orient yourself to deep feeling would also mean that the closet within your consciousness that we now call the subconscious would suddenly be opened.  That is terrifying to many people because, as Carl Jung has said, people will run from this their whole lives in order to not face up to themselves.  But there is more on offer here than a blast from the dark past.  It is a kind of existential deal on offer that has the power to free you, to remake you, to save you and resurrect you (to the degree that you avail yourself of its power which I note is greater than your own). Open to mystery, and trust that it will come, a giant ready to merge with you to lift you into a new awareness. Let it do the work. It has all of this. It alone is perfectly suited to take care of anything that feels beyond your ability. Trust. Ask. Wait. Be patient. Believe it could come, and it will.

 

POST SCRIPT – There are myriad methods and means to aid in awakening.  Ultimately what these methods achieve is a bringing together of the opposites within awareness and the mind.  No method is some kind of magic, but aims at bringing a person to a certain state of feeling.  This is why awakening has been so elusive to so many for so long.  The answer is not in patting your head and standing on one foot.  It is not only in breathing, it is not only in visualizing a force rising up the spine, but rather tapping into the primal feeling state that actually knows the way.  More people have awakened as a direct result of becoming inspired and led along in that state to reach a whole new level.  Ultimately, something breaks down within the vigilant left brain and a stream begins, first a trickle and then a blast that can be both bizarre and bewildering while at the same time life-saving.  Every culture on the earth has described this experience in one form or another, emphasizing some aspects of it over others, but it is clearly not something that comes about because of a religious viewpoint or belief, but as a result of a hitherto poorly understood mechanism within every single human being.  That said, it has been found that a religious framework often serves to help or assist a person through this process, but it is not required.  It is also true that some fundamentalist ideas held within numerous religions can  lead to demonizing the experience, resulting in misunderstanding this gift.

I’m an artist by profession and was trained in being good at observation. I have been involved in fairly technical media during my training and career, so I have spent a lot of time testing things for a wide range of results and insight. I have had to pay attention to a broad range of phenomenon in order to properly understand what is happening, from melting metal to melting and forming glass.  This power of observation stemmed from learning to be a good observer, to really see what is in front of me without my applying my own bias on what I think is happening and why.  It just so happens that because of how technical my materials are, I have had to expand that power of observation into more arena’s than when I was drawing from the figure in drawing class all those years ago.

If you learn how not to bias yourself with what you think you are seeing, the data often will lead you right to the issue and you can then begin to formulate solutions from there.

Hang on, there, this does tie into spiritual or energetic work, I promise.

By my second year into awakening, I noticed that while I was having lots of synchronicities, I had this feeling, though,  like there was something more to this facet of awakening than met the eye. Was there a way to test this phenomena so I could learn more about it? It seemed reasonable to me.

I began with a hunch that synchronicites were in fact part of a poorly understood phenomenon that was creative in nature.  I just felt in my bones that synchronicities were just the tip of the iceberg.  That said, I was careful not to be blinded by my hunch.  Instead, I just watched and observed.  if there was any truth to my hunch, I would know.  in the meantime, I would have to be careful not to try and make any evidence for my feeling to fit my own preconceived notions, a pitfall that every scientist can fall into.  Or any person when doing this kind of work.

Let me explain for you how it is for me with kundalini, first.  Through this unusually high level of prana flowing through my body on a consistent basis, I found that the nature of events in my life began to shift right along with my awakening experience.  Was it coincidence?  After having read countless accounts of others’ awakening experience I knew that this was not unusual at all.  Like I said before, synchronicities are a regular experience.  They are the “new normal.”  I also identified that I had been experiencing various layers or levels of what the Hindu call “samadhi.”  This is a high level of bliss brought on by the prodigious flow of prana in the body.  I say that prana causes bliss not because I read this somewhere but because I saw it directly in my own experience.

The period of time in which I made this discovery or observation was in 2009 when I was able to break out of a five month cycle of high adrenal output, another fairly common occurrence for many people who awaken. This was really a horrible time because of how high my adrenal levels were on a consistent basis.  I knew that this was something I had to break out of or else it would wreck my body and put me into adrenal collapse.  Through sheer will, and observation, I learned how to regulate adrenaline in my body.  After five months of this horror-show of an experience, I emerged out of this into a fairly clear place.  This was accompanied by a number of releases of old stored trauma from earlier in life, which also helped my state of mind resolve into a more peaceful state. That said, what I found was that while my energy was no longer in “fear mode” it was replaced or was transmuted into something much finer in quality.  The energy was every bit as high, sometimes higher, but was now a powerful vibratory force that would create a shimmer effect all through my body.  Still, it was a lot to take but I was happy to be at this point in the process because adrenaline 24/7 is simply dreadful.

It was against this backdrop that I was able to see if there was any correlation between my energy levels and the incidence of synchronicities.  While my energy levvel was pretty high at this point, I did have dips and rhythms.  I might have one week of powerful energy followed by a week of quiet energy.  This was not unusual, and it seemed a good reason to begin paying attention.

During this time I noticed when the energy got to a really high in frequency, I would begin having more synchronicities. If the energy cut out, so too would the synchronicities. This was repeated many times.  I watched and observed for months to see if this were mere coincidence or if it was a pattern.  I found, at least to my own satisfaction that each time energy peaked, so did the incidence synchronicities.

It was at this point that I then began thinking about the concept of manifestation as being connected or responsible for what we think of as the synchronistic event.  Now I needed to find a way to test this idea to see if it held water.

Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity and wrote a short book explaining the phenomenon.  The thing about synchronicities according to Jung was that they all had an aspect to their occurrence that involved a coincidence that was meaningful to the person they were happening to.  As a result, these were almost always highly personal or tailored to that person.  There is also an aspect to the phenomenon which is the seeming impossibility of the event taking place in the way that it does.  He described one such synchronicity in which he was in a therapy session with a woman who was describing a dream she had which had Egyptian symbology or archetypes in it.  While he was listening to her in his study in Geneva he watched as he saw a beetle climb across the outside window.  This was no ordinary beetle, though.  This was an Egyptian dung beetle, an insect that is considered sacred among Egyptians.  This is the scarab.  There was absolutely no way that this beetle could have flown from Egypt to be on his window at that precise moment in time, and yet there it was making its appearance.  Jung intuited that this was sign to him, to prod him in his analysis of the dream.  he brought up the scarab symbol and found himself explaining to the woman what her dream meant.  this led to her having a major breakthrough in her inner work as a result.

Taking all of this into consideration, I had felt like there was a lot more “juice” behind what drive synchronicities.  I felt like this was just scratching the surface.  But how could I develop a way to see if I could shift these events into a more meaningful way? Many people who experience these events nowadays almost always describe seeing unusual numerical sequences.  Mostly it is on clocks that are at “11:11” or “3:33” for example.  There are even people who try to decode what these numbers all mean.  For all I know there might be a meaning, I mean, I think for the most part these events are like the subconscious trying to communicate to the conscious level of the self.  It seemed that if I did a little digging I might find a way to expand this more, to see synchronistic events for what I felt like they were.

First, I knew that any event that you would like to see happen has to be something that you really feel like could happen.  There can’t be any “yeah but” feelings in your wish or intention.  The problem with this is that the negative feelings mingle with the positive ones and can either cancel each other out or deliver you a manifestation that has been tinged with both sides of your intention.  To do this form of creative visualization as Shakti Gawain wrote about in her book so many years ago of the same name, you had to have a way to leave out the negative parts so they did not co-create along with the positive part of the energy.  Then, all that was left was to have something that I was really engaged in that I really truly wanted.

Around this same time I began writing a manuscript for a book about the awakening process.  Most of it was first hand, but there was a chapter in the book that I felt like needed to be sound tried and true methods for helping people to cope with awakening.  I knew that I needed to find sources for this because the methods I used were just too hard to explain to people. I didn’t follow a method or teacher of any kind.  I felt like I needed to have things taken from outside my experience.  The truth was, I had no idea where to start.  A week later, though, I had a series of synchronistic events that came in threes that were simply bizarre.  To explain them, I need to set them up for you.  First, these events happened at a time when I had not spoken to anyone about this chapter I was writing.  I had no idea how it was going to turn out and it was ore or less “in the wings” at this point.  The second condition was that I did not in any way initiate the event, it merely happened on its own and involved, usually, another person who was the unwitting participant.  With that explained, let me describe this one set of events.

It was about a week into my thinking about this chapter, but I had written nothing on it.  I had a friend who began telling me about how as a small child she found that in order to cope with the effects of kundalini she happened on shaking as something that made her feel better.  She would go into a closet and shake for extended periods and this would help to ease the effects of the energy.  While she was telling me this, I had this feeling like this was something that I was looking for.  It felt significant.  Almost like a bell ringing in my head, I sat up and took notice.  I didn’t mention how I was looking for just such a technique.  It gets better, though.

A day later, I take my friend to the airport and return home, running a few errands in town and stopping by a friends house who had been going through a battle with cancer for many months.  I showed up completely unannounced and thought I would say how I was thinking about her and to wish her well.  I was greeted with her smiling face and her ushering me onto her back deck as she was eager to tell em about the events of the last year.  As soon as she was finished with her brief history, she said, “you know, I have just finished a book written by an animal behaviorist…..”  Once she said this, I felt that bell going off in my head.  I sat up, took notice, and listened intently.  She went on to describe how the author had observed that prey animals who had survived attacks by large predators (lions, tigers, bears) would universally go through a shaking fit for about fifteen minutes and then go about their way as if nothing had happened.  he considered that this may have been a way for their nervous systems to literally “shake off” the trauma of the attack they had just survived.  He applied a technique of shaking on soldiers returning from the Persian Gulf and found that it gave them relief.  Bells were going off in my head like crazy.  But wait, it gets more interesting!

As soon as I let her house, I decided I should probably try to research some books to see if I could find anything that might be useful for my chapter on techniques for coping with kundalini.  I in fact found very few books on the subject of kundalini at our university library.  I did find one book by Gopi Krishna that was a second book he had written later in life that I was not familiar with. I headed to the stacks to find the book.  Along the way, well before I got to the row where the book was, I walked by a small book that just caught my eye.  For no real reason, I plucked this book off the shelf and took it with me.  In a minute or so I had reached the book I had actually searched for and I headed to the desk to check out my randomly plucked book and the book on kundalini.

It turned out that the book by Krishna had no usable material in it.  No bells, not interesting coping methods.  My “random” book was interesting but it too contained nothing in it as I had suspected all along. I held onto the books for about two weeks and on the evening before they were due back at the library I was lying in bed and I picked up that small book and flipped through its pages really fast,  like how you shuffle cards. I opened the book to a random page (bear in mind I had not read through the book, I had only skimmed to see what it was about and had dropped the book as anything meaningful) and my eyes fell on the last paragraph on the right side page. This paragraph began to describe how a therapist named Arthur Janov had cured a patient of a long-standing trauma from his childhood by getting him to feel the full breadth of the emotion that he had, Janov felt, had been repressing since an early age.  There, on the page, was a description of how just before being cured of this trauma the young man went into a shaking fit while lying on the floor.  Immediately after he stopped shaking or convulsing, the young man looked up at Arthur Janov and exclaimed, “You did it, you cured me!”  he no longer had this hanging over his head anymore.

I was dumbstruck.  I leafed through the book to see if there were more incidences like the one the author had described.  There were none.  In fact, the author did not identify the shaking as even important, only as an element in the retelling of Janov’s own account which was being retold in this small book. I had literally found the one account in this book that described how shaking was part of a healing process. I realized that this concept of shaking was not something that was really understood, not until the animal behaviorist had written about it.  My random book had been written at least a decade before the first one my friend told me about earlier in the day when I had met with her.  What I realized I was dealing with was a quintessential needle in a haystack.  For me, however, this was a huge plus because when you think about it, how was I going to find books in print in a library that would tell me about this method that I would go on to write about in my manuscript?

I went on to have a number of these similar events while writing my book, all just as strange or bizarre as the one I just recounted. I had another set of three events that all pointed me to a philosopher whose ideas conformed to my own and helped me in fleshing out what I was dealing with as a central theme to both awakening and the book as a work.  I will, however, resist telling you about that series of events.  The point here was that I found that if I needed something in my book (or in my life for that matter) and had not real way to get to it “out there” the resource would magically find me by hook or by crook. I remember trying to describe this to someone once and she so distorted the concept that she retold the story as though I had been working some kind of magic on people to get my way.  Nope.  But it was a lesson in how some people will quite naturally misunderstand the nature of a phenomenon by applying their own inner biases on what it is they believe they are seeing.

For me, intention is key as it is in all teachings related to manifesting your desires.  I found that after I found a way to use intention to go beyond mere funny number sequences, those events tended to lessen and the more significant events took more form.  Always, there was a pressing need, a clear and pressing need and desire for something but without any understanding about how that was going to take place.  All on its own, those events would form around my own life and would repeat three times, often providing additional needed material in order to understand it better. For me, the number three is important because it deals with the trinitarian quality of kundalini itself and served as a kind of code or signal to me to sit up and pay attention.  Even when experiencing the first of any of these events, they always have this feeling that I experience, which is that of being somehow significant, even if I don’t always know how.  Once the number set of events completes itself then I always have just enough material to go on to get to the next point in my writing.

I wanted to pass this along for anyone who has either had this happen or who wants to test it for themselves to see what results they get. I hope this adds a little new wrinkle to your day. ♡

(Copyright, Parker Stafford)

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