Archives for category: Healing Blocks

I have been increasingly busy lately with a relaunch of my business, a “redux” that takes into consideration the tools we now have for doing business remotely. The internet represents a giant shift in how we communicate, connect, do business, and live our lives. Not good or bad (not yet anyhow), and those who can learn to harness it will find their way down this new path.

These last two years have been marked with my designing entirely new work in my creative medium, hot glass. The old wasn’t tossed, just added to. In the process I shared the new work on Facebook, and watched as my base grew. This period represented some of the most productive periods in my life creatively since founding my studio in September of 1997. Literally scores upon scores of new works were brought forward. There is still more to bring forward. Goodness sakes.

While Awakening appeared to tear me down, it also released a lot that was not necessary. So much change, some extremely rapid, some slower. But what made it impossible for me to create in my medium at one stage became the very thing that vaulted me forward. I am left praying that the universe offers up all the right people in divine timing for the next chapter of growth upcoming, because I will need just the right kind of people who can be a part of the studio to help it move forward.

For a time I considered that the intelligence within this energy had no care as to my welfare, but I found that I was wrong. It just wants me clear and aligned, the rest are details. Turns out I may have been sabotaging myself without fully realizing it.

As a result of all this work, which has transformed my studio practice, I have been running to keep up with the pace. I just haven’t had time to write much unfortunately, so you haven’t heard much from me.

In the last few months, a very interesting thing happened. I was about to cancel my subscription to Gaia after subscribing to this online channel for a few years. As a result, I was trying out videos I might not have tried otherwise. One was called Soul Power with Carolyn Myss.

In it she described a series of archetypes in personalities. All are universal and regardless of culture, and each responds in exactly the same way for everyone when working through the shadow side of them to begin embodying them in a positive polarity. She began describing one archetype that I knew made up a part of my own inner landscape. When she made the prescription for how to release the shadow aspect, I found myself very quickly reaching into her words and being able to put her words into an inner action in a radical act of forgiveness for what my ex-wife had done to me and my children during our divorce a few years after awakening had come. It was like the flip of a switch on a large part of this issue. I will also explain that none of the bad things would have happened to me had I simply made better choices in a spouse. To do that, I would have either been healed already, ir not reacting to the elements that subconsciously triggered me. I will also state here that I certainly had warning signs from my subconscious through dreams and quite bizarre signs (one just before stepping out to get married), so there is that.

I found also that a relationship I had after my divorce which ended up involving someone who acted in spookily similar ways towards me as my ex resulted in a release of that person from a small but persistent hook in my karmic life. I could actually feel the hook release. I could then feel my energy reach a calmer state, with a feeling of more balance and solidity which followed. My energy later began peaking back into those highs of rarefied pranic-induced states. But calm now, no longer turbulent.

The voice spoke:

When you accepted or believed in your own limitations, you naturally attracted others with complimentary limitations which then served as a foil to your own self-imposed limitations dictated by those beliefs. When you let those limiting beliefs go, you gave up the hook along with the sinker that weighed you down. Naturally, forgiveness was the fulcrum that shifted this within you.

I could feel my own essential energy flood back with the admonition to not look back. “Flee the burning building, just leave. The whole world is a burning world, with everyone trying to keep their beliefs carefully in place as they cannot see the flames all around them. Their immolation will be their own lesson, just as it was once your own. Just go…” And I did just that. A feeling of relief followed. I had this feeling that with that weight gone that I was now more than ever myself, free from entanglements, freer than I had been before, at least. That voice said sonething about how I had handed my own energetic essence to those peole for misuse. I misused it myself, too. I came away with the distinct sense that they will now be missing something they thought was theirs. A sucking sound, a rebalancing happens, and a new more real path will open to them without my energy to feed on. I’m not sure if that is how it will really play out because I also want to remain optimistic for the best outcome for everyone.

It reminded me of an experience I had after getting out of college. I had gone through a relationship with someone who experienced a deep trauma partway through our relationship while she,was away during the summe on a trip to Europe. We wound up going our different ways after school, and about six months late, I had a dream in which I dreamed that something, a cord perhaps, broke free from her. I found myself strapped into the cockpit of the space shuttle as it shot up into space. The feeling I had then helped to illustrate how our energy can become enmeshed in others and remain that way, acting as a drag on our systems all the while. I’m in a very different place than I was then, so the experiences were different and yet they also shared clear similarities with one another.

Many things got easier in the wake of this most recent release. Still other issues rose to the surface to be looked at, but this is a great improvement. The path of clearing continues and with each one I can see more clearly and less through a glass painted with belief.

It’s interesting how quickly things change, though. Behavior changes, habits change. Some remain, but they aren’t the ones that are causing grief or upset. It will all get done. And each time, a clearer channel of perception, a better ability to see things as they are. I remain humble and watchful for that which remains.

Part of this issue I released appears to have been related to abundance. Gearing up for a studio event, there seemed to be one hurdle and challenge after another. It made me second guess myself. Was this the universe or my higher self telling me I needed to get on with my healing work for others, to write that book that has been nagging at me? No, it wasn’t a message, it was my own energy getting in the way all along. The release came, and despite all of the technical glitches with the roll-out of a complicated new site, people began piling on shooting my profile upwards almost all on their own. No, it was working. Instead of losing customers over glitches, I began gaining them. People called in to have orders shipped who could not attend in person, or who couldn’t order online because of some odd glitch in the site that remains to be figured out.The tables were turning.

The event resulted in my nearly selling out of work. And here I was fretting over having made too much. I could have made twice as much. Leason learned. Sometimes we really do need to suspend belief if we are to see things as they are. I had it all wrong. I had to get out of my own way.

While incredibly busy, I find my thoughts are more systematic. I feel less scattered and I am able to plough through what needs doing more easily. There is less second guessing, although the volume of work was itself a remaining tail of the old way from around the time this healing took place, which was also near the time that this studio event was planned. What’s more: I feel blessed with this time and these creative gifts that I get to share with my community to help others realize their own capacity for being inspired, be it learning glassblowing in classes or buying something from the gallery as a treasured gift. People sent me photos of their piece sitting on their dining room tables or the one lady who showed me her glass collection just to drive home how she really was an enthusiast when it came to glass. That was better than any sale I could have ever made. It was like their inner child felt brave enough to peek out to show itself. The heart glows in moments like those.

Our nature is essentially creative. All around us we see its positive and negative effects (because even waging war is itself a creative activity at its root-as much as it pains me to say). It oozes out of everything we do, and yet so many of us throttle it back. When released, we glow.

People say that kundalini is sexual energy. What they miss is at its root, prana is wildly creative. It does not have the limits placed on it as those we impose on ourselves. We do not realize how limited we are, all the result of our having shut down our inner creative flow. So if prana is focused through our sex, it feels sexual, but it also flows through all other channels and corners of our being. Its only because of how shut down sexually that we are that the enegy feels like its coming to get us in a sexual way. If you remain open and stop clutching at it, that intense sexual awareness softens and changes character. It becomes buoyant, less troubled, less clutching, and gripping. You realize this can be used for anything and you are only experiencing the tip of the tiger of prana. Instead of grabbing, open your arms. Open your heart, open your mind, and open your body together all at once. I will bet where the energy feels intense is where healing remains.

I don’t know what tomorrow looks like,and I recall I have over a hundred draft posts I could publish, one a week for almost the next two years if I needed to. I know that if things keep getting better, I will be able to use the relative calm of January and February to sit down and thrash out this book on early Christianity. Maybe if I can get every piece of research sorted out it might be easier than I fret over its being. I have learned a lot about the early church and how different Christianity really was from what it is today. A secret lies at its core, though, and its time that this secret is released. I feel like I am faced with completing these things, that it is time to just get on with it. This book, that voice says, is one big life purpose. That is daunting, so I hesitate. It tells me the way forward is how I always move forward: ignore what I think others might think and do it how I feel in my heart it needs to be done. In a way, the book isn’t for anyone except me, one of my final testimonies of my hourney through countless incarnations. If I make it into some stage production, I freeze up. If I write it like I am writing it to myself, everything about it changes. It seems to just flow.

I hope you will read the newest interviews, all in the menu’s at the top of the page. I think they help to show how awakening is experienced through our glorious (not illusory) individuality. I am so glad the people who took part did so. We are not all identical Buddha’s. We each are experiencing this phenomenon through the inviolate validity of our own souls in motion and in time.

Finally, I leave you with this inspiring video that puts a fine enough point on all of this. Namasté.

Included at the top of this blog is the next interview with Cynthia. I hope you find it helpful in your journey to remembering what you are.

Each interview has been given their own page so that they remain front and center on the page, making them easy to find. My thanks to Cynthia for taking the time to provide this resource for others.

These interviews are with people who have had what is commonly called an awakening, or an awakened kundalini. So far, everyone interviewed has been hip deep in the experience for a handful of years. That isn’t to suggest in any way that those new to this aren’t as informed. I know for myself, I am grateful to have kept a journal my first few years (I thought it would help me keep up and maybe figure it out–ha!) because it has helped me to remember just how the early experiences were like. For perspective maybe.

If you would like to add your voice to this growing body of information, I welcome your participation. I do this just to do my part to help others. You can email me and I will forward the questions to you. Sometimes I will ask follow up questions that I think may be relevant or to try and clarify some points for readers. In some cases, I am curious to know more.

Info@staffordartglass.com

Blessings,

~Parker

The interview with Ian is now up and is now permanently installed on its own page, which you will see along the header for the blog.  My thanks to Ian for being willing to go along with this project. I hope that it helps folks gain a broader perspective based on those who have been going through it.  ❤

 

We all are familiar with the seven major chakras that are situated along the torso of our bodies, but would it interest you to know that there are many thousands of minor chakras all through the body?

The ancients knew, who developed their understanding of the subtle energy system known by the Chinese as the meridians and naddi by the Indians, that this system carried chi or prana. This subtle energy system also had the ability to record or contain emotional energy that would then serve to effect the proper flow of the subtle energy. This is the energy of both life and consciousness. Releasing this blocked energy helps to make for a more peaceful and authentic life (more naturally enjoyable).

In the Indian system, one worked to clear this material as a precursor to raising kundalini. Doing so, they contend, makes awakening the kundalini, our hidden energetic potential, a less chaotic an affair. As Westerners, though, we tend not to have these practices available to us, so we often have to go about it differently. Lucky for us, kundalini will help clear the stuck, knotted, or blocked energy (albeit in a more intense fashion for a time).

Most often when we speak of chakras we think of the major seven, but as I have pointed out here before, there are many others. The energy we call prana is itself conscious. The more that we tune that in, the more we can be enriched by its limitless knowledge and potential.

The swami’s of India teach about knowledge that does not come from the senses but comes through ones consciousness, which is itself a sensing means for the knowing that can come from “tuning in.” It makes sense, then, that clearing away the detritus within can help you to see and feel more clearly. As Westerners, we are catching on a bit late, but we are catching on.

I have known people who were unable to do this clearing work. Their minds are clouded by the material that masks their inner perception. I can say being with these folks is challenging because they cannot see what is truly there and they feed off perceptions colored by their innermost emotional baggage. Do you want to be that person? Many teachers point to this as an absolute necessity to do asap. I concur. It takes time and patience, but you also have all the time in the world.

What you do today stays with you as an indelible accomplishment. Plus, what you do not finish now can be picked up in your next life. If my experience is any guide, you will pick this work up again in another body and what you release now wont be there when you pick it up again (hint: this work is too important to the soul not to continue with!). If you begin and develop a strong enough interest, it will carry through. Plus, you may be reading this because an earlier version of you in time was involved in a similar pursuit.

I have noticed a keen interest taken in the posts I have done on leg chakras previously. We have them, but little is said about them. Because of how little they are covered, not much is known in a popular way about them. You can find several posts on this subject by using the search bar and it will take you to those.

In one post, I describe each chakra in the legs and what energies in consciousness that they align with. This post is for people who are used to meditation and are able to sit quitly enough to begin to feel into their energy that we call prana or chi.

I will point out for those interested that the points in the legs where energy can get stuck can often be effectively released by a good body worker or massage therapist very often. This is done by way of deep tissue massage along with the practitioner who can sense of feel where the stuck energy is. I have found some very accomplished energy workers in this field. There are othee methods such as Chi Kung (also spelled Gung), acupressure and acupuncture.

Not long ago I described a healing meditation that could be used to arouse prana for helping to heal blocked energy through a simple position of the hands together. You could say that the hands help to enrich and activate prana in the body when you can wuiet your mind and place your focus only on your hands (no “doing”).

In the meditation which I refer to as a foot “mudra” it is possible to begin to tap into the awareness that you have of the energies that flow through the legs along with the energetics of consciousness that reside there in feeling.

There is something that happens at the subtle level when we bring hands or fingers together from each side of the body. The existence of mudras acknowledges this. What happens when you bring your hands together like this on an energetic level is you are joining the energies, in part, of the whole field of your energy body in the upper torso part of the field. We call this Ida and Pengali, the masculine and feminine. While there is a large channel of these two running up the torso alongside the central channel called the shushuma, there are channels in the arms and legs that also have these lines or channels in them (because consciousness exists as a result of the union of these seeming opposites in ourselves, even at the level of the energy, which merge moment by moment to generate all phenomenon).

When we place thumb and index finger on one hand together in a mudra position, what happens is we are joining the circuitry from different parts of the energy body in that region together. If you can dial up your sensitivity to feeling your energy, you can feel a subtle difference energetically and in consciousness between thumb and index finger touching than, say, your thumb and middle finger. For those who try this and don’t feel anything, my suggestion is that you need to try tuning in more. Get quiet. Let your thoughts quiet down. Feel your energy. You may only feel the edge of something at first, but given optimal conditions of introspective curiosity and a receptive openess to feeling your own energy, you can tune this in like a faraway radio signal more and more. You accomplish this less by trying and more by allowing, letting down those noisy barriers you didn’t even realize you had. I know this is supposed to be about the feet, so here we go.

If you want to try this “mudra” as I call it, simply sit with feet uncovered and place them together. You might want to calm down and center yourself by performing some breathwork which is well suited for this. I have always found breathing like how we breathe when we are asleep to be highly effective because it signals to the body that you are relaxed. It is a great trick.

Slow steady breath in, hold it for a two or three count, and let it go in a slow steady exhale. Pause at the bottom for a second or two, and repeat a number of times. You will find yourself feeling much calmer in no time. You can keep a slow gentle breath throughout this exercise, and how long you do this is up to you.

There is nothing gained in feeling uncomfortable. I know some yoga practices teach you to deal with feeling uncomfortable in the hopes of your being able to stay in a given position for long periods, but my experience has shown me that you will be much more succesful if you can adopt a posture that you will remain comfortable in so discomfort doesn’t even enter in. There is nothing honorable in feeling physical discomfort. When prana flows at a high enough level, you will experience supreme bliss. This is what all methods are there for. There is no reason to climb a mountain in boots that make you feel like you are slipping and falling. The point is reaching this beautiful place as efficiently as possible. So be comfortable because you will want to keep at it more. When you realize that cosmic consciousness is for all of us as an aspect of what we are, you might begin to appreciate how we are all the same deep down. We are each like glasses filked with water. Qualitatively, what is the difference between the water in your glass and the water in the ocean?? The only difference is in quantity. You are a bit of the cosmic. All water knows itself and the drop knows it is also the ocean. It is a beautiful thing and it waits for when you are ready. This work can help you along the way…

I have done this posture before and I have had others who are like me in terms of their awareness of their energy in their bodies, and the results have been interesting when I have asked them to take this position. I discovered this position in meditation when my inner voice told me to place my feet together.

So sit like this, quiet mind, letting thoughts coming and going without getting hooked on any one thought, and feel your energy. Just feel. Feet together, breathe to calm your mind and body. Don’t try to do anything or force anything in your mind. This is all about checking in a little more deeply than you are used to. By not trying to make this into anything, see if any sort of impressions begin to arise without your trying to turn them into anything. Don’t judge, just observe. You can keep your breath gentle, deep and slow, if you want.

Take note of what you feel or what seems to express in your mind. You are just a reporter here, so you can take this time for yourself to simply observe.

In work like this it is sometimes possible to encounter the effects of blocked energy. You could feel the edge of an emotion that might get stronger, but let it come and don’t feel like you have to break through anything. Let them be like air bubbles that float up to the surface. Try not to react negatively to what you feel or may seem to feel; your emotions are like thoughts. Thoughts are the result of your reaction to something, but it may not be the whole story, so do your best not to get hung up on what you feel or see. Often just being aware can cause them to dislodge and rise.

I think of the legs as aligning to our most problematic emotions, but also to the simpler and more primal ones. They can be expressed in a positive or negative polarity and any energy stuck down there might be pretty hard, but this is why I am telling you to be as neutral as you can be. I think it is fair to say that many people have a hard time bringing the light of their awareness to this region both in their bodies and their consciousness because of this. Bear in mind that anything troublesome that you might feel is only energy which has gotten stuck in a negative polarity. That same energy is waiting to be turned to its positive pole through a simple act of forgiving yourself for whatever that energy represents. It is easy to turn hard into soft if you remain detached and keep your wits about you. On the other hand, you should always consider your comfort zone and know when enough is enough. That said, with each exploration, you can gently push the envelope bit by bit so that in time you make progress through this deep dive into yourself.

For those already familiar with energy and who may have awakened kundalini, it may be that this work may feel intense. I found myself wanting to turn away from what I felt the deeper I went, but I also found that by simply bringing the light of my awareness to this place that I shook things up, like how a spade turns old hard earth. Each exploration was a benefit.

I have also performed this posture with hands clasped together at the same time, which is akin to turning all currents, save the crown and root, into themselves. Since there isn’t a lot that seems to be taught on this position (one form of yoga expressly states not to use this bound foot position while others do), I would be interested in whatever it is that you find yourself experiencing.

There you go. I hope that this adds another wrinkle that you can try discovering. If you try it let me know what you think. If you liked this post, let me know by hitting the like button. I’m never sure if the things I find interesting get through the same way with others, so it’s helpful to get feedback.

~Blessings~

P.

Sleeping, slumbering, rolling deep within is that part of you you always suspected must be there, your link to the infinite.

Bigger than you, scary when it first comes, its resources are amazing. Like a deep ocean, an aquifer moving silently beneath your awareness, the path to its ineffable reality lies in the innocence of your heart, the desiring of your soul, a few chance encounters with eyes closed or an event that shakes you out of your workaday world. It is like a mystery, and yet there it is, shining new in each moment that you find it. Or did it find you?

Letting go puts you in its grip. Dissolving the rational allows it to step forward. Now this is usually where most “normal” people stand up with raised hand, seeking to interject a “Yes, but!..”  But what I am explaining to you is not business as normal.  Humans have, for centuries, sought to control by way of the rational, and this, I will point out, is precisely the problem.  Anyone, most great teachers in nonduality have pointed, who seeks to go this path will find only trouble and difficulty.  Shoals await you in such an effort, and this is where many remain.  No, the path forward is letting go of those tendencies that have hung us up since forever.  The way to cosmic consciousness, this larger stream or sense of presence, does not lie through the limited rational mind and it’s left brain.  Instead, it is the right mind or brain that has the demonstrated capacity for handling the broad sweep that is cosmic mind.  Listening, expecting miracles, bids it to come near. Every single teacher, every single experiencer all comes back from this experience and explains that this is not a thing tied to “doer-ship.” Are you getting the picture?   Wiping your slate clean is how it can communicate with you, or rather, perhaps even better, letting go of what it is that you think you know is one of the cracks in the wall between the mundane and the ineffable. Let go the small to grasp the big, and yet it is no grasp, no trying. It is the one that can bring you so much.

People struggle saying how hard it is. Only if you let the rational and its playmate, ego, have its way. This teaches you how not to be so you can BE. It is a great windswept silence that returns you to those places long forgot. So simple, this is no place for a linear mind. This is our multidimensional nature. How could anything so linear as the rational left brain ever hope to guide you? You need the nonlinear, holistic part of your mind, which is a mirror for that part of your eternal consciousness to channel and express itself through this body, this self. Learn its secrets which are breath, movement, and quiet intuition. The Sophia within.

When awakening came I saw that there was another part of me, clearly tied to both body and mind, that had come on line.  A switch flipped, a new world of a kind, a very new kind.  Awakening is not some kind of exotic, it is not tied only to consciousness.  The body must also follow, as it is a mirror of consciousness.  I observed that my ability to see the bigger picture increased significantly to the point of increased intuition, and psi ability. These are the symptoms of awakening.  The Hindu call these siddhis, and they have been extensively reported by those in eastern traditions as well as those who are awakening today more or less spontaneously.  We also know that the two hemispheres of the brain are oriented differently.  One deals largely with linear processes, handles language, and does not show a masterful ability to tap into feeling.  The right brain, however, is not linear, but shows every sign of being able to process many streams of information at once.  The left brain abstracts, finding the most important aspects of an idea or object and it highlights those.  Very useful for certain things.  The right brain, however, is able to see the whole picture without any need to abstract.  This is one reason why artists are said to be “right brained” which is that they “draw what they see.”  However, the right brain does not appear to have an ability to pinpoint the important aspects of this big view.  It is the right brain that has the capacity to comprehend cosmic consciousness.  Remember, the right brain is not here judging or prioritizing. It is this capacity that makes the right brain so good at this “new” state of mind because it is less apt to be biased or creating some sort of preconceived bias which would color what the whole mind or person thinks they are seeing.

Perception is not done at the level of the physical senses only, but it is has been shown to be “formed” by the individual as that person “thinks” about what it is that they believe they are experiencing.  As a result, you will get all kinds of explanations about what people think awakening is.  Luckily, we have a host of pretty specific symptoms to help this hold together pretty well, but it also leads to a lot of speculation based on thinking.  This is both good and bad, a double-edged sword.  As one remains unbiased in what they think they are experiencing, the more the phenomenon leaks through over time and informs the individual.

If you would like a primer on what it is like to have the left hemisphere shut down for a time, I recommend that you go to YouTube and watch Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk entitled, “A Stroke Of Insight” which describes her experience of how a stroke in her left hemisphere left her, a neuroanatomist, without many of the functions of her left hemisphere.  What she describes in her talk is nothing short of a brush with samadhi, and samadhi is the cornerstone experience of awakening (or is eventually once the person has gotten a handle on this new kind of state of being).   You can see her talk HERE. So what is the point in this little brain primer?

Let the rational observe. Let it watch from a distance. Don’t let it get any ideas. Take notes but don’t pretend that you know. The more empty you are, the more you can be filled by it. The more empty that you are, the more you can be guided by its great mystery and power. The more you have it figured out, the more it eludes you. Consider the choice you might not usually take but that keeps bubbling up around the edges of your awareness. That is the corner stone that most toss away as unimportant.

You have this, but to gain it, you must let it all go in order to grasp the bigger. It is like embracing the wind. Now let it it take you. This befudles most people and sounds like wishy-washy bullshit.  But this time, it is not.

There is a sleeping giant within. So many never find it because the way to it cannot be known by what you know. Instead, feel. Who wants to do this?  TO learn how to orient yourself to deep feeling would also mean that the closet within your consciousness that we now call the subconscious would suddenly be opened.  That is terrifying to many people because, as Carl Jung has said, people will run from this their whole lives in order to not face up to themselves.  But there is more on offer here than a blast from the dark past.  It is a kind of existential deal on offer that has the power to free you, to remake you, to save you and resurrect you (to the degree that you avail yourself of its power which I note is greater than your own). Open to mystery, and trust that it will come, a giant ready to merge with you to lift you into a new awareness. Let it do the work. It has all of this. It alone is perfectly suited to take care of anything that feels beyond your ability. Trust. Ask. Wait. Be patient. Believe it could come, and it will.

 

POST SCRIPT – There are myriad methods and means to aid in awakening.  Ultimately what these methods achieve is a bringing together of the opposites within awareness and the mind.  No method is some kind of magic, but aims at bringing a person to a certain state of feeling.  This is why awakening has been so elusive to so many for so long.  The answer is not in patting your head and standing on one foot.  It is not only in breathing, it is not only in visualizing a force rising up the spine, but rather tapping into the primal feeling state that actually knows the way.  More people have awakened as a direct result of becoming inspired and led along in that state to reach a whole new level.  Ultimately, something breaks down within the vigilant left brain and a stream begins, first a trickle and then a blast that can be both bizarre and bewildering while at the same time life-saving.  Every culture on the earth has described this experience in one form or another, emphasizing some aspects of it over others, but it is clearly not something that comes about because of a religious viewpoint or belief, but as a result of a hitherto poorly understood mechanism within every single human being.  That said, it has been found that a religious framework often serves to help or assist a person through this process, but it is not required.  It is also true that some fundamentalist ideas held within numerous religions can  lead to demonizing the experience, resulting in misunderstanding this gift.

My awakening came gradually. It came in somewhat measured steps. The first step clearly opened me to a strong flow of prana and my first experience of nonduality. Then, over five months, I began having innexplicable events occurring that led me deeper. A friend loaned me a hemisync cd for clearing emotional baggage. Another gave me a meditation technique I have detailed in the last post.

A Voice spoke in my mind telling me to close my eyes and focus on the center of my brow. Complying, I awakened my third eye, a process that expanded over several days once I focused my attention there and saw the fiery brightly lit eye emerge into my field of vision. Then I was taught or tutored in how to alter my consciousness to take advantage of the wave-form part of our consciousness, the part we call the feminine, the Shakti, the right brain and left side of the body. Everything was unfolding, gradually, carefully, as if by some plan. I wrote about it to close friends. I had no idea what it was leading to.

I had several events that all directed me along a path to awakening in a way that left me the last to know what all of these things were adding up to. Clearly, a higher intelligence was involved. This is not to say everyone must awaken the way I did. What is clear to me, because of my own experience, that at the base of awakening is an effort to break through a logjam of trapped energy to liberate or open a hole within us that will let the water of life stream in. First a trickle (for me), and growing stronger each day, each week, until my body was conditioned enough so the full rising event could come. A breaking through this logjam.

One of the events that took place in October of 2006 was a day-long acceleration of prana, which was a preview of what kundalini would bring. I had a vivid vision-a certainty in inner vision and through intensely felt feelings-about how all life feels prana or life force in the same way when it is felt abundantly (which is all kundalini really is—unusually high levels of pranic flow).

Getting ready to go home, this information nagged and pulled at me until I put it down on my computer starting at 7:30 pm and finishing at 7:34 pm (I had no idea why I should note the start and ending time but I did…now try and type what I typed in under four minutes).

This writing spoke of prana and how it was affecting both my body and mind. After writing this, I would find myself experiencing an odd synchronicity involving my finding the only magazine on a rack full of popular magazines whose content was uninteresting to me except one magazine I had to hunt for around a corner, blocked by a card rack placed in front of it. Without anything on its outside to suggest its contents, I would find that it had an article that read in bold: “When it comes to seeds, it’s all about sex.” Here is the piece I wrote to try and get that stuff out of my head, a first brush with a powerful burst of prana.


The Yearning

The fields are wet from rain after the corn has been harvested. Trees slowly turn from green to yellow, then gold. The air cools and the mind thinks back on days when life was brimming over and the air was thick with the smell of pollen. The same corn, now nothing but stubble, stood gold and green with tassels swaying with the breeze, releasing its sweet nutty smell. To some it was just a delightful thing that marks the passage of seasons. To me, its more than that. It speaks of life seeking its own, making itself over; a new generation. A yearning, a leaning toward the wind in the hopes that Nature will take care of Nature, and carry its life giving sweetness on the air to waiting seeds, waiting for that breath of life, that germ of passion that makes the flowers grow, and makes life turn ‘round once more in the endless cycles this world is known for.

Seeds and plants and pollen, all lean into passion in ways we can scarcely imagine. For this is the glue that keeps life going. For them, it must be pleasurable, a passionate act of giving, a release, an immersion into a mystery far older than our own known seasons, our own individual lives and experiences. For this is the gravity that pulls them, moves them to continue. How can it be any other? Why then would life seek to replace itself through an act as perfunctory as the dropping of an apple from a tree? No, the drop of the apple is not perfunctory, or a second thought, but part of a yearning to become, a part of merging with some larger dance. If trees can’t feel this, then why continue? Why go on? Perhaps in measures we can only guess or imagine, there is some divine spark of wantonness, of passion and pleasure bound up within their shells of being. How can it be any other? Perhaps there is a secret life these rooted beings feel that is beyond our ken, beyond our too quickened ways. We have been “beyond” these beings for so long that they are now “just plants.” And yet, they are more. They will speak if only you will listen, and they yearn to tell of this ancient dance, this incredible desire and passion bound up within every cell of their being, so it pays if you will only listen.

I know that seeds seek and yearn and hope and dream; dreams perhaps that are so different I could never scarcely imagine or see them for what they are. And yet, it seems inescapable that these creatures, ancient as all of life here, yearn for the touch of pollen upon their seed pods and enclosures, waiting patiently for the bee to carry their spawn beyond them into other regions where others await the touch of the life giving sparks that enliven and awaken a new generation. Even the warming caress of sun and drenching rain is an act of divine providence, or giving in a wheel that knows no end and no beginning. Quiet and still, these beings mask their greater inner lives.

So even we do these same things, even we make this dance of longing and yearning, so old and ancient that its root can escape us as we are caught up as if in some whirlwind, some deeper dance both of passion and letting go as we give ourselves to life’s great mystery, to its passionate embrace, and longing that brings us to this place, this wonder filled state where our minds and bodies and hearts are excited beyond the normal trebling that life gives or provides.
To touch my eye with your eye, to touch smile to smile, or hand to hand, we join in this ancient dance, this passionate longing for life seeking to complete itself, and in so doing, complete ourselves. Round and round we turn, like stars upon an endless wheel that rolls and ducks and sways in the lost night of time. We are carried one by the other, some by our imaginings, some by the reality, but always by the same glue that keeps life turning turning back and forward at once, calling to the roots of what it was to the heavens of what it will become.

So as our hands embrace, our smiles merge, as face becomes face, and eye becomes eye; as flesh becomes flesh, we excite in this dance, this subtle movement first tentative, then more certain as we are gathered by the compass of its certainty, of its need to move as it moves, which is ever forward into endless days and tomorrows.

We came here as boundless beings who knew neither limit nor touch, and followed down into narrow pathways into minds of earthlings, like spirits on a cosmic voyage, we entered the world of limit and pain and loneliness, only to be called back by forces that were brought to bear in this world, moving us through realms of limit and bounding to that greater reminder that this is a dance of mystery, passion, and love. In this love we touch the infinite, wrapped in that which pulls and grabs us like hawk talons grasping talons in a spiral dance of yearning, moving us one step beyond this one, seeking the divine, seeking the infinite. 10/13/06 – 7:30-7:34 p.m.

Someone recently asked me for a meditation technique which I have written about in the past, but during a search for it I realized it might be easier to have it be at the top of the blog roll.

This is a gentle and healing method that is very simple and was passed on to me from an old friend just before awakening took hold. It was in fact one of several types of meditations that I used that helped to train my mind in how to trigger and sink into the part of our awareness where we process cosmic consciousness in the brain. This is the right brain, and to utilize its native focus requires a big shift in your awareness which I will describe to you as a potential outcome of this method.

It is my experience that this method can be an important prelude to awakening, but there also needs to be several other parts added in order to more fully prepare the energy body for this significant change that can take place once you are properly prepared. This technique is gentle so anyone can do it in order to learn about their powers of consciousness.

To begin, you should pick a time when you can be both relaxed but alert. I have always meditated before bedtime because my body was already trained to become deeply relaxed, a precursor for all meditation work. In Buddhism this is often done very early in the morning and it is done consistently, again, because the body will in time slip more easily into these deep states of calm. I will go to bed early so that I am less prone to just fall asleep. I also like having a quiet house and dim or even darkness to cut out any distractions. You might have times that work just as well with you that are different from how I do it. Do what works for you.

You can sit or you can lie down. Just be in a relaxed position. Place your hands together like you are praying. Do you ever wonder why so many traditions use placing the hands together? Could it be that it helps to bring the mind together in a unified way energetically?

I want you to imagine getting very small and standing in the crevices and grooves of where your hands come together and to focus only on your hands. Feel your hands and keep your focus on them and try to eliminate all thought reactions for as long as you can. You can start with doing breathwork if it helps to settle you and quiet your mind. Long deep breaths, focusing on just your breathing, works wonders for calming and quieting the mind. Breathe deep and long and hold the breath for at least three seconds, four or five might work even better…just don’t do it for so long that it makes you deel out of breath.

So here you are, focused on your hands. Just do that. Settle in. Eventually, your mind might wander, but don’t be upset with yourself. Just bring your awareness back to your hands again. Doing this will slowly train you to have longer periods where you are focused on just your hands and fingers. This is an important first step. Feel and focus on the place where your hands touch. Very simple.

You need to do this meditation for at least two weeks each day in order to see any benefits or results. This takes time in order for the right kind of shift to work within.

Over time, maybe quickly, you will notice that you might move from your usual awareness to an awareness where you lose your focus of self. I liken this to how we dream. We often aren’t aware of ourselves in quite the same way when dreaming. It is slightly….defocused. Have you ever been drifting off to sleep but found yourself suddenly in a kind of blank state, perfectly quiet, but you ask yourself “where am I?” only to jerk back to waking consciousness? This meditation will assist you in cultivating that awareness by letting your mind go blank for periods of time. This is the beginning of the shift I am relating to you.

This state is not a normal observer state and any effort to bring ego awareness into it will break the wave of awareness and any phenomenon that might be arising. This is not your “doer” consciousness, this is almost like dreaming consciousness. It works very differently than your waking awareness does.

Now you might begin having small dreams or visions with this method. Just observe and don’t judge. As you sit or lie with your hands together, just keep your awareness on the space between your hands. Being able to not disrupt the flow of phenomena is itself the challenge of this method.

I know how simple this method is, but it is hard because of how spare it is. It must be, in order to train you to shift awareness, but all the while it is also cycling your energy back into your system through joining the hands together.

It is important to be quiet in your thoughts so the energy can do its work. Its possible to experience a state of presence which is largely devoid of a need to think. If you are familiar with this state I am mentioning, you can use it here. Often we feel this state only fleetingly, but its time base can be stretched so that it lasts longer. Don’t worry if you can only hold this for short periods, this isn’t a race! And if you are unable to do this, concentrate on your hands and put your attention there.

Twenty minutes a day will work for this method, but it is even better if you can go forty minutes or an hour. Do what you can and start with where you are. We are all different.

In time, you will notice things happening. What exactly, I wont say because it can be different for each person, but know that this method is very healing.

Pay attention to your dreams during this time and see if you notice any changes. Do you notice any changes during the day? During the meditation being able to hold on to that state of nonlinear being which is the feeling nonverbal self is key. This part of you can begin to come forward and with it some very interesting things. When I say “feeling” I don’t mean your emotions. I mean your capacity to feel and to feel deeply.

The important thing is to not try and use your rational observer mind during this, but the part of you that sees but does not critically examine and think the way you usually do while awake. I know this might sound impossible to do, but give it a try and don’t worry whether you feel like you aren’t catching on fast. We are each unique and different.

If things start to happen, it just means that it is working well for you. If anything comes up that seems odd or alarming, don’t judge it, never judge, just watch it and observe with curiosity and interest, but let it pass as it does naturally. And if you wind up experiencing something that you don’t understand or are confused by, feel free to leave me a comment. I can see your comments before they get published so if its personal I can not publish your comment and then leave a comment of my own that answers your question. But most of what people experience wont be earth shattering or private, so I welcome your comments or questions.

Now as an aside, once you begin, you want to carry through each day with this meditation for at least two weeks. You will need to give it an opportunity to work its magic. If after the first week you feel like you are getting nowhere, simply stop. It might not be a good match for where you are. But if given time, this method tends to bring very good results when applied in the way described. If this method works for you, you can do the meditation while standing in line at a store by placing just a few fingers together. This helps to concentrate the energy in your body in a very particular way!

As an adjunct to this meditation, being able to learn what your biggest hot button issues are and do the work to bring energy to those places where they normally reside in your body will assist this work later for stimulating a more gradual opening to awakening. Choose something you can do, that is easy enough for you to deal with but that has dogged you most of your life. These are blocks and they impede the flow of this energy that is behind awakening.

For example, whenever you feel your stomach tighten or your heart cramped, these are signs of blocked energy in the body. Learning to know how to release them opens the light body to a better flow of prana or qi (chi). When you remove what divides you, you open yourself more and more to the flow of energy tied to awakening or kundalini. Go slow, take it easy, but also engage your intuition. Going at this with fear is not the way. You need to cultivate trust in the energy. While the energy is strong, stronger than you, it wont ever hurt or harm but seek to heal you even more, even if it all seems a bit much.

Have fun and let me know how it goes!

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Sunset over St Marks Nature Preserve, Wakulla County Florida. Copyright Parker Stafford 2018

 

Several years ago I decided to interview people who had experienced awakening for inclusion on this blog.  This was an effort to help bring the perspective of those who have experienced the phenomenon to the fore in order to help others who have gone through this life changing event to gain perspective, understanding, and perhaps greater awareness. I have recently published two of those interviews and they have been given their own page which are located under the header at the top of the page.

 

It is hard to know how much awakening can change your life.  It is like a quantum leap into the unknown.  It is bewildering.  It crowns just as it crucifies.  Navigating it is at once easy, difficult, with old rules now completely out the window.  It leaves many feeling scattered to the four winds sometimes, and yet it is also a saving grace.  It is powerful medicine.  Many awaken without a background in any philosophy or religion to provide a framework for the experience.  My sense, as it was perhaps my own experience, that we have much more to learn from awakening when we don’t have those frameworks in place. This is for the simple reason that we face the phenomenon without preconceived notions of what it is that we are experiencing.  We don’t get “captured” by the “rules” of other groups who, I note, have been unable to glimpse the larger potential that awakening offers us. While the experience happens in every culture and corner of the world, there is also a rising tide within the Christian church, factions of it, who would paint this as an inauthentic experience, what is called a “counterfeit spirit.”  Sadly, there are those who would resist the universality of this experience and they do so out of nothing more than ignorance.  The only way to deal with ignorance is with education, with information, and with what we find to be true (rather than what we believe) from direct experience.

 

There are plenty of frameworks that do speak of awakening and many of them wind up, for me at least, to include just as much belief as they include factual information, which to my mind makes it a mixed bag.  To know the truth, it seems, we have to go beyond what the masses are saying about it in order to learn to trust our own experience.  This is a lonely proposition and can put us at odds with the mainstream (like Advaita or Neoadvaita for example).  While awakening has very specific symptoms and signs, it leads us to an awareness that places us in a whole new kind of mind and heart space.  This can be a lonely road for many of us.  The interviews reminds you that you are not alone, that you are part of what appears to be a growing number of people waking up all around the same time frame.  Curious, perhaps purposeful, we can each learn from each other.  This is my hope.

 

My hope,too, is that we can build a library of these interviews for the assistance of anyone wanting to learn more about the experience, be they curious or an “experiencer” themselves.  If you have had an awakening and would like to add your voice to the chorus, your interview is welcome here.  Interviews are kept anonymous if you wish, but very real people are behind them.  You can simply respond in the comments section and I will arrange to receive your answers to the questions (which are just a jumping-off point) for inclusion here.  I am interested in whatever insight that you feel that you have, regardless of what others may say about awakening (or even myself) because we all have a lot to learn.

I have been so busy. A new direction and new work, so much to do, so little time. From my drafts vault. Enjoy, lovelies! Spring is close!!


COPYRIGHT, Stafford Art Glass

Let reason go. Turn to cosmic mind, the ineffable state, what we have called She, our feminine side. Here, reason must be lain aside. Quiet your mind. Calm body. Return to the primordial state…to that before pretense began. By abandoning this part of the mind, the rational and reasoning mind, a much larger one can be felt and utilized. A great teacher emerges who is the best of your teachers. The teacher resides in the center of your chest. It can bloom like flowers in Spring and are just as beautiful.

I experienced awakening as the rise of two energies that later joined in pure union to give birth to a transcendent state of being, a sacred third. I saw how this was a trinity. It took years to tease its secrets out. That alone led me to a great discovery and uncovered my roots in the past within esoteric Christianity in the early fourth century A.D. I lived then and was responsible for hiding documents that would have otherwise been destroyed by the creators of “orthodoxy” which was known as a great lie, but it had the big guns, the power, the money, the control. We were heretics and we were run out from every corner and center. It is how things are here; people prefer the lie than the truth.

For me, I experienced the mystic Trinity as originally intended. It’s heresy now. My how things have changed. For me, the Teacher is the Christ within. It creates awareness so that I can find problem areas where the presence will bring them up and heal them…an unwinding process of sorts. I enter by way of ecstacy. What remains I offer up to the Source of all life.

Somehow, for whatever reason, I have come to a place where devotional practice feels magnificent to my heart. It short circuits a desire to control things and as a result, leaves only what I can change or effect now. I continue offering up what remains in me to be finally taken into the light. There is a trigger for this one; I am confident that in time it will be found, felt, known. In finding that In attracting highly devoted people to me who are themselves very devoted, heart centered, and hard at work on coming closer to the divine within.

No one can truly know your journey. As a result, its important that if you walk this kind of path that you have people who love and respect what you must do on your journey. Life is too short to swim in waters that lack this love, forebearance, and understanding. I came to see how others painted their own troubles into my life. I once met someone who was convinced they knew me in the South in the 1800’s. The inner teacher had shown me, years before, how I had a life at that time that was completely different from their supposed memory. The quiet moral is we often make our inner struggles the subject of projections because the truth is not yet available to them at the time. Always trust your instincts but be careful when strong emotion plays around difficulties emotionally because here is where projections happen. Listen to the Teacher within.

You know, I have found when I need an answer I can ask my heart. I can feel it give a thumbs up or down depending on the answer. It’s like….a dowsing rod. You get used to feeling the answers come this way and you get used to what a “yes” feels like was opposed to a “no” answer. You can feel it in your field. You must get quiet in order to hear it at first. If you learn how to tune this in you have access to something that is impossible for anyone to lie and it not be not known. There is a part of you at least that knows the truth. I say water that seed and let it grow and flourish inside of you. You will be at odds with the world but you will have a much better world living inside of you.

Who could believe this except yourself? Why expect anyone to understand? It is a juicy secret between you and the universe. Beyond scripture lies the truth…which is beaten up with pages missing….too many edits and messing with the text. The Teacher is from the immovable race. It lies in truth within your heart.

She was the one who was touched by the growing bloom of desire. Each center opened to a presence that moved all through her. It was little more than a wisp, really, like a rising tide of water. Just like that. This touched her at every level of her being. Pulling him close, though he was far from her, she initiated a dance that she was never able to complete perhaps because the prize was just that precious and powerful a thing; fire from heaven.

The truth amongst our kind is that once touched, we are forever changed. We cannot pretend to be the same. We cannot act as though the genie has gone back into the bottle. We try, many times we do, just as she had done, hoping to return to her Kansas and her blissful ignorance. We all do, if the truth is told. We do grow accustomed to it though and in its big roaring realm of a shift it awakens us to deeper truths, and not all of them sit comfortably with us. With such power, with such roaring realms as these, we are ourselves made into instruments of the emanations that is our universe. The Gods and Goddesses speak through our fiber, our bone, our idiosyncracies, our desire, our failings and our triumphs. We face up to the fact that to be spiritual is to be sexual, which is to be creative, which is about begetting both spiritually and physically. We cannot nor will we ever remove ourselves from the truth of this which is that at its core, all of this awakening is creative. She wants to create with him, to feel his words and his presence upon her lips, drawing out of her a consummate creation born of a love that is transcendent….something more than just she and more than just he. Through every center she feels how the truth of this touches her inwardly just as it touches him inwardly. They are carried, touched, enlivened…. by this fire to know how they both share in an inuterable truth about it and each other….Such a truth draws souls together unlike anything else.

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People can turn their backs on these things but so strong are these events that they make indelible marks on our lives, our souls, our hearts, and even our bodies. For as much as we seek to seem normal, to fit in, to fly under the radar, we are rendered an exotic forever after and for always. All of the heresies come to live in us all at once, shaking us to that inevitable conclusion that each of us make, which is that the world is both backwards and upside down. …and it has been that was for a long time.

We, even touched as we are by this, remain backwards and upside down creatures until we relearn and allow ourselves to break under the pressure of the great force that is the divine bearing down on us and on the falsehoods of our innermost lives. The difference is that we are pilgrims who travel not without comprehension to the Promised Land but with full realization that we each ARE what was once promised us.

She is the kind who can sense and even smell him before he arrives. Her innermost senses are so enlivened by him that her own senses begin to form a world around him that is made up of him. Something in her is made to know him perhaps as much as he knows himself. It is at this great level of intimacy that she can never again pretend she had not caught glimpse of the bringer of that fire to her frame in this life or that she served as the crucible within which their surrender became the Great Revealer. She knows him and he knows her in a way that defies any idea that we are in any way separate or that the universe itself is not strung together in an incredibly intimate fashion such that no lie about separation can stand long before the roar of this world washes over it and topples it, washing its pieces away as we stand gape-mouthed wondering over what just happened, and also over how we could build such castles to honor the deeper heresy of separation.

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And even those who have parted still meet in the breathless silence of their innermost realm at night and between the sentences of spoken words and between the architecture of our thoughts. They are just too large for that not to happen, and we must learn to forgive ourselves if the fire is ever to make any sense to us and not burn us to a crisp in fear or in anger, or in jealousy, or in uncertainty. It is in the in-between that it calls to us and does not care the channel or vessel who carries it. It seems to need us to tell its story, like some wordless presence, like some vivaciously creative mute that is suddenly tired of keeping silent but has no means itself with which to speak or caress or to love the other in the way that we are equipped.

For many, it’s just too much. It’s too much as long as we resist being as big as it is. It’s too much as long as we refuse to stretch into its being and learn to give that higher self a place in our lives. We resist because the higher self is not uncertain but knows…..and we, the children waking up to its presence within us, are limited and do doubt and are afraid that it might mean our end…..even though that never seems to happen.

He can feel how she visits him. It’s often only after she falls completely asleep. Some nights he waits up and others, he slips off into a sleep that contains chapters only the two of them know, but mostly know peripherally or secretly (even when its secret from themselves sometimes). It isn’t always clear, and there isn’t always a narrative to paint the sky so it can be seen, or a room or a sense of place…..because this now belongs to the timelessness that we each touch when our bodies open their eyes and as our mind is dragged along for the ride. He holds his hand up; this is all he needs do to transmit the ripple of pure bliss which penetrates and travels faster than light and ignores the laws of our world because of how it lives and breathes the one Law that has ever really mattered and is the one Law upon which worlds have been built. This Law lives within him and its movement into her is what remains a world of endless pleasure and delight.

This plays out in this way with many today. Married, single, alone but connected….it has taken all of us into its arms regardless of our laws and rules or conventions. It asks us to tell the truth by BEing the truth, and so it changes our lives when this enters them. We are shaken by this and it is hard, but it is like leaving Kansas with no hope of ever returning, perhaps never wanting to return. The genie is out of the bottle and the truth turns in us until we learn to face it more fully each time it swings us ’round in its pulsating dance of both pleasure and becoming. This truth, if ignored comes back around in other years, seasons, and lives. There is all the time in the world and yet, it seems to make us all feel that there is little time left. I think that this is because of how long we have remained ignorant of how much we have lived outside of its Law even as some of us proclaimed to know it intimately. This force does not care about how our lives are composed it seems, and will clear a path in us to see that its will is done. Eventually, the truth catches up with all of us….and until it does, it exerts a steady pressure on each of us until we give way and forgive in order for the resistance to allow flow again. He remains in silence until she acknowledges that nothing has the power to stop this…

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Their opposites, both as the Cosmic She and He attract. Karma attracts, that which is left undone attracts. But what is really at the root of our misgivings after all? In each case, it is always something that felt that we did not reach in its fullest apogee for our hearts to feel filled with it. We return to lovers who died too soon for us to play it again just as we turn the wrongs other have done to us into the force that cracks our insides open to reveal the greatest bliss one could ever imagine. In each case, we feel a sense of lack that always has us forever chasing it, forever yearning for it, forever focused on it even if it is done subconsciously. We hide so much from ourselves that our lives do not adequately allow fulfillment for. But how

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do we correct for a wish never filled that is now thousands of years old, covered over by ten lifetimes or more? These bones form the substance of our desire in some of this as we wake up…..and there is nothing so compassionate a hope as this; to free ourselves and to know the force of love not as something that we feel FOR someone but a force that we finally ARE.

There are many stories that remain silent and secret but that live vibrantly in the luminous realm. Don’t let its grace pass you by.

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