Archives for category: Healing Blocks
Copyright, Parker Stafford

I was given weed recently as a result of my describing what took place this Summer where weed had made me more psychic, something I wrote about here at WTI.

Alone finally last night after the holiday goings-on, I decided to get ready for bed and go through a meditation after using the weed I had been given.

I used a very small amount, about a pinch, about 3/4 the size of a pea (if that). This amounted to two regular puffs and one fraction of a third. This was a very low dose, although the version I used was described as being a strong hybrid version. I put on my headphones, pulled up a Monroe Institute Hemisync program from the Gateway Experience, and listened with headphones. This particular audio helps to induce deep Theta states, and while there are directions for relaxation and breathing, most of it is designed for your own inner work. The audio lasts about 45 minutes, just enough to get you there.

Everything happened very quickly. Before the narrator/guide began his first comments, I already felt a presence of a male who was speaking to me in this bright excited voice who seemed to be positioned above me who extended his hand saying, “Take my hand and I’ll show you all the places you can go!” At this point I was already dissociated from my body and traveling through what looked to be outer space. I remember having an experience like this before many decades ago where I moved out of my body and began seeing a starry sky and feeling that the stars were actually consciousness. The sensation at the time was overwhelming and it put an end to the projection because of the state of overwhelm I invariably would fall into that kept me from further projecting. This time, I thought about this and as I saw all these stars, I didn’t feel overwhelm but instead felt a stirring warmth in my core where there was only love. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I acknowledged this love as the next step in my evolution and the evolution of everyone on the planet.

I was interupted by the narrator of the audio a number of times as he made suggestions for how to breathe and relax. I was there in seconds, I was ready instantly and kept having my meditation interrupted by this voice. It didn’t trip me up completely though, it was more that I paused my meditation and waited for the voice to complete what it had to say since it pulled me out of the “broad mind” state as I felt pulled into a more linear language-based state (rational left brain). I’ll have to work more on that in the future. I found myself back at my body after expanding outward through both space and dimension, which all took place very quickly.

I noticed during this whole experience that my third eye had become very active. This time, though, I could feel the third eye pressure at the bridge of my nose. My third eye is now a vertical band that goes from my nose all the way up to my hairline. When it activates, it is usually felt as a large dot on my forehead with a sense of energy and even something that feels akin to tightness of a sort. This tightness isn’t inhibiting in any way, it signals that my third eye is activating in a strong way. It is more that this tightness is the result of these bands of energy that flow around it and out of it. When this happens, it is a sign that I can begin to see clearly beyond the physical if I focus my mind correctly with the third eye center. The two work together in bringing information through. I was aware of information streaming into different parts of my brain which would get routed to the third eye as the lens used to see into the realities that these intuitions represented. Likewise, I was aware that the third eye could see into the mind to pick these things up. It was a fluid dynamic system where informatiin flowed both ways.

As I thought about this, the third eye energy shifted up into its usual place which was mid-brow up to the edge of my hairline. The whole area constitutes the third eye for me, which is akin to a long extended flame of awareness and sensation. The Hindu seers who paint the tilak on their foreheads are using an image of how I experience the third eye. Two vertical lines with a cental line in the center all corresponding to the Ida, Pengali, and Shushumna nadi. The Ida and Pengali merge in union and balance in the Shushuma, the place of boundless bliss. Below is a photo of the tilak as it is worn by mendicate monks. There are variations of the tilak, so the one shown below is just one of a handful of versions used.

I was also met by a small presence that I can only describe as dwarfish that spoke and moved excitedly as it began showing me the energy lines in my legs. I had gone from standing on a beach to being up in the hills in a tropical location atop a flat-topped roof of someone’s house, which was where this being began pointing out the energy lines in my legs.

I was in this kind of environment because the hemisync audio uses ocean waves as part of its audio. I naturally found myself standing on a beach, and later moved from the beach uphill into the mountains above where I landed on a slightly sloping rooftop. The being was showing me where the energy lines crossed in my legs when the narrator broke in and it made it hard to continue. I will see about going back to this in another meditation. I knew or could feel how others had mapped the energy body in not too different a way in the past in meditations much like this one, and I thought how easy it was, not the arduous task as I had originally had thought it was.

I was keen to get into the leg chakras because I could feel how there was some blocked energy that resided at the junction of the torso and the legs. It was curious how this energy trailed off behind me, right around my behind and extending out like coat-tails behind me. This awareness has always been one of the great gifts conferred by awakening, and the awareness itself has been enough to dissolve countless blocks in my field. At one time many years ago this awareness would make me feel defeated by the sheer volume of material present to still clear. Now, though, it existed more as a remnant, a trailing bit of material near my lower back.

What is worth mentioning is the back trouble I have been having since November. The week of Thanksgiving was where it came to a head after driving to see family. It was so bad I couldn’t move from a sitting to a standing position without the use of a broom handle which I used for about a week to get up from my couch. Luckily, I somehow managed to keep working even though all I wanted to do was to lie flat on the floor. I have been slowly rehabilitating my back muscles so I can move more freely. What would have taken weeks if adjystments by a chiropractor I was able to do on my own and now the sore muscles are in a much better place with slow and gentle stretches. It was I think not a coincidence that I was having this tightness along with the enhanced awareness of the stuck energy near my bottom in this meditation.

I soon decided to drift off to sleep after this took place. I revisited the idea of telepathy before going to sleep but every person who I put my mind to seemed much too vivid and in a tangle for me to even try another experiment along these lines. I did however find a part of my mind aware of one person who I kept feeling like I was communicating with during the meditation, like a quick check-in contacted me and there was an important message waiting for me from tat person when I checked messages this morning.

I say this only as a reminder about the things we can explore, learn, and discover. We are all inheritors of a noble light that is supportive and loving. We go and experience things that are part of our present “set and setting” and experiences are part and parcel of where we are at any moment in time.

I will note that up until this summer, I have only ever used natural methods for reaching accelerated states of being and awareness. I have also been an advocate for this approach for many decades (using it myself exclusively) since my early twenties—in the late 1980’s. My experience this past summer made me rethink this approach. After being able to reach these ecstatic states naturally, I have considered what some substances might do to help further expand both awareness and experience. While I have no interest in being a heavy user, I am considering this as one wrinkle among many in this entire process.

If weed helps me to hone in on the remnants if blocked energy, then I will consider future meditations using very small amounts to assist in sharpening that awareness. I don’t sense that weed opened my third eye, that initiation took place in a meditation in late 2006. Rather, my intent to do this meditatiin was set on “finding out what I might see ir discover” with my third eye dutifully responding to that intent and also aided by the much more fluid state I found myself in as the weed began to take affect.

The goal for me is to learn how to emulate these states without outside substances. I will mention though that even the food that we eat can have a significant effect on our physiology not unlike weed has done. I have found states of bliss after eating cantaloupe and other melons because it served to modify how my body responded to the energy of the awakened state. Just being well hydrated can change how I feel. Taking vitamin D has had dramatic effects on how I experience bliss, for example. So weed? It may well be one of many plant helpers that I can use to help open up my cognition and awareness to valid physical and nonphysical states, not as a distorter of experience, but as a liberator from an inhibited state to one that is not as inhibited.

I hope you are getting a break and have enjoyed the holidays. If you don’t hear back from me, happy new year!

It took a bit of courage to photograph and then publish the marks that showed up when kundalini rose a decade and a half ago. It was an odd thing to witness these marks, one on my right hip and another that emerged after a clearing of karmic material tied to my heart center several years later. The posts about this are in the archive. I include one from the heart below.

At first when I wrote about it, there was little comment about them, but after about a year comments began to come in with people describing similar marks who had been running searches for burn-like marks after spiritual events, and voila—they found me. Many tended to be either on the hips or near the shoulders. Then, a few years ago, a Japanese graduate student shared photos with me of his own marks which were nearly identical to my own, also on his hip and another like my heart center mark except at his throat chakra which following a kundalini awakening.

I thought that someone or something had done this to me, but as increasing numbers of people have come forward to describe their own burn-like marks, it seems to me that these marks may simply be what happens when strong energy is being released (because of its proximity to the energetic event tied to kundalini awakening). Intuitively it seems right that the marks could happen when energy is trying to move up the legs to the torso, and vica versa, and like an energy bolt used to traveling in a more or less straight line, it has to make a sudden turn and becomes impeded and marks result (this is my theory at this point). This could result in a burn or iritation to the skin. For me, I know that this is nothing mystical or “woo-woo” but serves as a physical trace of the energy in the physical. I also have not just marks that emerged around the time I awakened, but I have a persistent mark over my heart and recently that mark has moved.

It would be helpful if science were to take an interest in this observable phenomenon. Absent that, I am left to investigate and collect accounts by others with similar effects that have happened to them.

Three days ago, I noticed that the mark over my heart center has moved. It started at the lower sternum as you see in the photo. It has moved up by about 2 and a half inches, and the mark, which has tended to be circular, and which has been constant in its presence for years now has grown three times in size. It is less noticable but can be easily seen in the right light. It hasn’t waned in that time and resembles two semicircles that sit opposite each other along the vertical axis of my torso. The end of each semicircle doesn’t touch the semicircle beneath it, but the effect is seeing a near-perfect circle being formed (or at least suggested). I am observing it to see what it does after this move, if anything.

I often find it hard to describe what I feel because while I know that it became a novel but continuous state compared to how I felt previous to this experience of awakening, its constancy has led me to find it to be a new normal. How do you normalize supreme bliss? I spent years learning how to appear normal while speeding through another world within. It’s progress now that I can keep from needing to sit or lie down for an hour or two because the bliss is so strong. There were periods where I would be so blissed out that I would forget from one moment to the next what I was thinking about or even doing. It didn’t even matter in many cases. I can’t say that I handled it all that well in the beginning, but over time I learned how to carry that bliss while being able to focus on the kinds of things that would normally get wiped away by the thick blanket of bliss.

The effect of the bliss is that it has had a significant effect on dulling or eliminating a lot of pain in my body, and softening emotional pain. While this is helpful, even miraculous, I am concerned that it could make identifying a physical problem difficult in the future. Pain is an important feedback when things go wrong that need attention. I sometimes worry a little about this. Could I miss important signs of my imminent demise? The bliss says, “pipe down, it’s okay, just chill…” What’s behind the bliss? A cocktail of chemistry, I have found. It isn’t all just dopamine, but a good portion is based on my experience and investigation into it.

I disagree with Jana Dixon in her assertion in the Physiology of Kundalini that dopamine does not play an important role in the symptoms of kundalini. I have observed that high dopamine levels are responsible for being able to take part in the release process because while dopamine is a natural pain killer, the effect it had on me psychologically was that it made it possible for me to let go, and to stop “grasping” for the old familiar psychological patterns that were the basis of old beliefs and programming. What I experienced fell neatly into the realm of high dopamine levels. Additionally, I have found that in people with schizophrenia, the condition involves an inability to properly metabolize dopamine, resulting in a build-up in the brain resulting in the psychotic break if nothing changes. I found an online conversation of a group of schizophrenics who had gone off their medication just to see how long they could go without serious problems. One person said that he discovered his symptoms after a week were identical to kundalini. For me, this was proof that at the right level, dopamine is directly tied to elements that makes kundalini feel the way that it does. It may also be responsible for boosting psi ability in the brain by allowing the self to tune out the usual signals through the sensory cortex in favor of tuning in the nonphysical senses. Dopamine, it could be said, gives peoole a pleasant rush at one level, but could do much more at higher levels.

When I read accounts of people who smoked opium (a dopamine analog in plant form) many of the accounts described symptoms very similar to my own experience with dopamine. When the self lets go and surrenders, the chemistry instantly shifts away from the stress hormones of norepinephrine and adrenaline and into the softer more dreamy dopamine/oxytocin range of the spectrum. And who among us haven’t felt intense feelings of love during awakening? I am not suggesting that dopamine production is kundalini, I am suggesting that dopamine is the concoction that creates part of the experience of bliss in the body. This is all being coordinated at the nonlocal consciousness level. Dopamine doesn’t get produced or released until the signal from the consciousness comes. I will also add that I am aware that other compounds are in this mix, it’s just that the effects of dopamine were so easy to identify with some simple online searching. I do think that without a little adrenaline, dopamine tends to make me want to lie down for considerable lengths of time. It slows motor response, it has even slurred my speech and gave me the stereotypical “Buddha gaze” where eyelids are often at half mast. I wouldn’t rule out the presence in small amounts of DMT since in small amounts it has been shown to create bliss. I for one would like very much to test this in a clinical setting to see how DMT bliss compares to my own physically produced bliss compounds.

When this shift in the heart happened, what I count as the fifth in a five-layered process (tied to the koshas—each chakra is like an onion, kosha meaning “husk” and each layer aligns with the five major aspects of the energy body: emotional mental, physical, energetic, and spiritual). This means that each chakra can be cleared by kundalini up to five times as it acts on each aspect of the chakra and its koshas.

At this time, just a week before the change in location, I inquired in meditation to find out the nature of a hitch that I had for most of my life, which is a habitual tendency to move into poverty consciousness. This never made much sense to me in the past because I always had a capacity to get whatever I needed in life, so what gives? Just ask and it will be given.

I realized in the course of the inner inquiry that there were no limits that existed within, and what was causing it was a vestige remaining that came from growing up in a family where this issue seemed front and center. I was myself taken on a very fast journey through a space that I knew was my being and what felt curiously similar to a spaciousness that I experienced in the wake of the third clearing of my heart center in 2008.

In my recent meditation, my inner guidance took me through this vast open space and there was simply nothing there that would impede it (it was completely clear—a vast brilliant white space–my own connection to and experience of the divine white light capable of being anchored here by me in this life). Huh.

This was new to me because over the years this inner space was always cluttered with something. I grew accustomed to feeling the “remainder” of the stuck energy that had yet to be resolved, with the process always being where I saw, noted its presence (after a while of getting used to this process), knew it was there, but relied on the energy to get to it in its own time. I, as a result, never second-guessed the energy in terms of which block it would get to next because it was much better at getting it done than I could ever do on my own. That said, I did practice Qi Gung and meditation in order to ‘soften the ground’ so to speak in a hope of making things go more smoothly for this intelligent energy. It was my “project” and after years of doing this work sudden it became a wind-swept silence of a space.

“There is nothing there” my inner guidance said to me. There was nothing in my way, whatever that hitch was that I had was now gone. Looking back I realize that most of it was the result of other people who either expressed a poverty consciousness, or it was people near me who tried to connect me with it. Luckily those people have edited themselves from my life now and for the last three years I have been actively engaged in bringing my studio business back to life (with the greatest growth happening during the pandemic).

Within days events changed. I had cobbled together work from last month’s production in the studio, held an event, and in 20 years of doing shows and events, this one wasn’t just better than anything I had done before, it was head and shoulders beyond anything that I had ever done since I began the business in 1997. I thought it was a fluke until the next week’s event was just as crazy as the first. This was repeated a third time for good measure and the result was the same. The whole tenor of the business has changed. I am hiring part time help and the truth is, it wont be enough. A new chapter has opened up. The heart mark had shifted during this time, signaling a readiness to step into the next phase of the journey.

The curious thing about this is that I keep hearing that abundance is tied to the root or base energy center. I feel that for me, it all happens in my heart as a pivot point, a mediator, between root and crown centers. For whatever reason, this was the most natural outcome for me. How is that possible? Is it that when we do something with love, it can only really emerge best from the heart? Would it then be an outcome mediated by it?

All of this is the culmination of years worth of work, so while this recent development was a pleasant surprise, it was one step along a long line of steps. And why am I even saying this? It’s to show that there are different ways of doing this work, to convey that the moment someone says that something must happen a certain way, you can know there are many paths that lead to the same summit. The other side is my sense that none of this is supernatural but is, I think, natural. It’s physioligical and driven by an energetic force we unfortunately don’t know much about in a scientific way because so few researchers are willing to delve into it. We do have reams and reams of accounts both current and ancient by the people experiencing the phenomenon. It is described as a serpent in India. Based on how the energy rose up through my body, I can understand why. But there is no snake, there isn’t even a Shiva and Shakti meeting at the crown. Those are apt descriptions to say what it is like, no one thinks it actually is that. This is much the same as Jesus saying the kingdom is like a candle, or a treasure in a field. The kingdom isn’t literally those things, it is like those things. Based on my observations it is more likely that this energetic even is the result of the two brains, the left and right hemispheres finally synchronizing in a very particular way which leads to a sudden rush of energy and bliss flowing into the crown and radiating throughout the body. That may not sound terribly exciting, but how the mechanics sound and how it feels can appear quite different. Prana is just electricity?? It might be that a slight “over-volt” in the body is enough to supercharge the brain and kick the endochrine system into high gear where a host of hormones kick into high gear resulting in better health, sharper physical senses, and an expansion of cognition even into intuitive abilities. Clearly these burns or marks are the result of a real physical force, and the best explanation is an arc of electricity perhaps coupled with resistance at critical points where energy flows from and to the torso to the legs. It would help if someone with a technical background were to take an interest. How to rouse those in slumber?

Personally I suspect that the phenomenon represents an area of inquiry scientifically that would likely serve to challenge materialist views long held about consciousness as arising from matter rather than the other way around (which is what I think this is). It also has the potential to vault us into a new understanding of ourselves, and our potentials If only we can break the log-jam of enlightenment-era thinking (namely Descart who championed the idea that we are just biological machines entirely driven by the matter assembled that we call biological life). The incidence of marks that show around energetic events like awakening is one such example of real physical traces that help to anchor the phenomenon in something more than “woo-woo” and gets us all closer to “how-to” through an investigation of this field as a once-rare event that is fast becoming a more common phenomenon.

I know that it is entirely possible that my heart mark could help show the physical traces and existance of the chakra, not as a belief or notion promulgated by Eastern philosophy and esotericists, but as a reality that could serve to point to the system most directly tied to the forces of consciousness.

Additionally it could help us to understand the size of the chakra in the energy body. The fact that the mark on my heart emerged immediately after a heart clearing event, was the size of a dime at that time (in 2011), only to change size while also moving up my sternum by about three inches may have a lot to tell us about how this system behaves. While we may not have dozens of people for a half-decent study, we may be able to glean information from the few who do exhibit these markings as a response or reaction to the energy. Is this mark, which persists, the result of a strong energetic pathway that opened up in the wake of awakening and the release of emotional baggage? It feels electric to me, so that would be one clue for future investigation. I also sense that what might be increased electrical activity in my body may well be felt or read as bliss in consciousness. I see a connection with this energy serving to stimulate my endochrine system which has led to a host of positive physical results. It also, not surprises, has pushed libido a good deal, and with so many experiencers describing kundalini as a sexual energy, this effect may help us to understand why, while helping us to see how this energy impacts the body in a positive way (while understanding better how to support the physical organism so it has less chance of burning us out or experiencing negative side effects from the energy).

Currently most materialistically inclined thinkers think that the idea of the chakra is just speculative hogwash. I think that by upping our game on this front we could begin to show anecdotal evidence that this is more than mere speculation.

The problem I face is finding the people who are affected in the same or similar ways as I have in regards to the marks. While I have a handful of people who have reported having had simkar marks only one has been willing to share pictures which he took before the marks faded after the surge of energy that likely produced them faded. While I had a hip mark, my Japanese friend developed a mark at his throat chakra which is not that different in size and shape as my heart chakra mark. At this point, these kinds of numbers are not enough to convince any researcher that there is anything to it.

If you have experienced this type of phenomenon, I would like very much to know because it will help us to better understand this phenomenon and without data, there isn’t any interest. If you have images you can send them to info@staffordartglass.com. Your info will be held in confidence for any contacts that you make.

~Parker

Narcissism is a term used to describe an emotional dysfunction and personality type. I never knew what a narcissist was until I lived with one. What is so crazy about life with a narcissist is how they are able to operate for years undetected even by their victims. The narcissist is a consummate actor or actress. They don’t even seem to be acting, they appear to be completely convinced of the positions that they take. It is their apparently certainty that makes them hard to spot. They are highly functional people who hold positions often of power and control over other people. They can be leaders, authorities of some kind or another. For a narcissist to be successful there is one thing they need to make it all work: the victim. This isn’t just anyone. This person needs to be unable to understand how a narcissist could in fact be devoid of true feeling and proper emotional boundaries. To the victim the narcissist seems normal. In fact, the victim can often want to believe that the narcissist is a normal person. This can go on for years. I was married to a narcissist for 16 years and most of what she did to me and my children was carefully done behind the scenes, behind my back, so that I was left wondering what on earth was going on. I doubted my sanity, I felt like something was going on but I just didn’t know what. This ate at me, and it wasn’t until years later when family members began coming forward to fill me in on what she had been saying that the behavior all began to make sense.

My abuser was so successful because I was so unwilling to consider what it was she was doing was as bad as it was. No way she could be working against me. No way she could be trying to hurt me by using my children as pawns. I just could not imagine anyone doing that. I mean, who would do such a thing? After all, I had lived with this person and she showed no sign of being the kind of person who would do something like this. Get real, already!

This did happen, though. It was nothing short of a nightmare. After seven years of this kind of petty behavior that drew my children into an abusive spiral, my ex when confronted, refused to admit that she had done anything untoward or wrong. Standing outside my building which I had caught her breaking into, I asked her why she had said the things she did to my children. She looked me straight in the eye and said she had never said such things to my children. Ever. And if you didn’t know her very well, you might believe her, or want to. She sounded….wow, it was a great performance. I think people like this are missing something in their heads and hearts. They think what they are feeling is real but they just don’t know this level of real. it is like they have a reptile brain and they just go along and ape everyone else when it comes to the higher functions of being a mammal or a primate. I know that sounds hard, but after years of this I finally realized that people like this are fundamentally different from the rest of us….and most of us don’t even know that they are.

Years ago I had an old friend from high school who I remained friends with throughout my college years and into after I got out of graduate school. I noticed how she had a string of relationships that always started and ended the same way, over and over. I became her go-to shoulder to cry on when things went south. It wasn’t until years later that I figured it all out; she was having relationships with men in her life that were replays of her relationship with her father, which was strained to say the least. Because she was unable to get past her misgivings with him, she replayed that drama over and over in her relationships with other men in her life. Remember the saying “what you resist persists?” Well, it happened to my friend and later in my life it also happened to me. After I divorced my ex, almost exactly a year after we separated, I became involved with someone who was a carbon copy of my ex in many respects, but with a twist. In this case, this person actually tried to utilize my own kundalini to facilitate hr own awakening. This was something that was done in absentia, or through the etheric, but the result was very real. Strange, but real. A telepathic bond was created that was so strong I was unsure that I would ever be able to break it. My life with this person was an experience of their projecting most everything they suffered from being put onto me. The narcissist has no ability to truly self-reflect. But wait….didn’t she say how sorry she was? Didn’t she say how sorry she was, how horrible she had been only to tell me later how she had gotten better? Turns out this is another part of the abuse spectrum, which is saying how horrible they have been and then begging to be taken back or swearing how they will change even though the behavior never does change in any material way.

My second narcissist told me early on in my knowing her that she hadn’t stayed in any one place for very long. She said she only stayed about five or six years in one place at a time, a pattern that had been with her her whole life. Before knowing me, she had been married for about six years. Before that, she had also been married prior to that. She wound up staying about 5 years in the area before moving on. Publicly she sounded like she had a great life, but privately she expressed how much she disliked her work and how unhappy she was. I saw how she would say one thing to one group of people and say something different to another group. Sometimes, these stories would grow or shrink in scale depending on how stressed or upset she was. It is never about herself, it is always about another person or some other source that is causing the problem. What happens when you combine kundalini with narcissism? Is it even possible? We are all human and the realm of spirit can be nuanced and complex. There are also levels to it. We all go at our own pace and we often get in trouble when we try to define their experience through our own experiential lenses. Fundamentally, there is a dishonesty lying at the base somewhere, a dishonesty with ones own self that keeps a part of the self in a broken and delusional state where these types of people seem to believe that the problem is with the world, or with some person or some other shadowy threat “out there” when in truth, the threat comes from within. Trying to redeem them never works because all of this is an inside job. So the empath can get sucked into trying to help this type of person. Round and round they go until the empathic person finally realizes that the same pattern continues to repeat. It only seemed like they were gaining ground. It was all a show. And the only cure is to cut them free so they can go on and continue their behavior until the universe conspires to reveal to them when they are ready to see the fatal flaw within and then set about healing it. it might not happen in this life, who knows when it happens. It is an inside job. The empath learns a great lesson that it is not their job to save anyone, only themselves. This is the lesson for the empath that will lead them to their own healing, which will take them out of the orbit of people like this in the future. The one thing I had in common with a narcissist was me.

It’s easy to point fingers, harder still to do the work inwardly to look good and hard at your own flaws. And yes, needing to help so much that you are blinded by who the narcissist is is a flaw. It is the one flaw I am working to give up in total. Sometimes the greatest act of compassion is letting go. It doesn’t come easily, but within it lies the greatest of lessons. To be able to cease seeing yourself as a victim in this is the next step. If you were pulled into this type of dynamic, you played a part. It was a great cosmic set up meant to help to show you where the flaws exist on both sides if you are ready to see clearly enough. The most important thing one can do is to forgive yourself for putting yourself through that. I have found that when I do this first, forgiving them comes naturally. This isn’t the usual perfunctory “I forgive you” but is instead a much deeper and ore substantive forgiveness that has the power to shift the draw that we have with people like this. The lesson is learned and when it is, these people lose all their charge for us. This isn’t something you can fake, it has to be done in an authentic way. In some cases, just being away from it long enough can help to create the contrast necessary to see just how bad it all was and how you never want to go back to that kind of madness again.

I was once told that the universe is neutral….but the forces in the universe are not. Whether you are drawn to someone based on negative or positive karma, the draw can often feel very similar….but the difference is what lies beneath. Being able to get to that deeper substratum within the self is where the work lies. It seems the way forward is in being radically honest with yourself. The draw can seem supernatural but the past can be marked by strife and trauma from other lifetimes. All of this is healed with love and that just lets all those threads drop away.

I was actively doing this with my first narcissist years ago in a period of rapid cord removal. It was one of the blessings of kundalini; I just made myself available. What I found that bothered me a good bit at the time was that many of the cords I was dissolving were cords that were tied to my ex at the time. I could feel these taut cords let loose, often in quiet moments, and moments after it was gone I could feel her presence on the other end pulling them back into a taut position. By then, it was too late. But what was so interesting was how she would go into a meltdown within about 12 hours or so after the release. I counted nine times that a cord was released that was tied to her, followed up with her going into an emotional meltdown, upset for some reason or another. It was very instructive to me because it showed me the etheric effects and presence of these lines of influence that work behind the scenes in our lives. Instead of my ex accepting the healing, she went in the other direction completely. She got worse. She got more angry, more mean, and poor thing, she didn’t seem to even know why. All of this felt very dangerous to me because this I knew would lead to her lashing out at me and my children. She was never able to see or sense more deeply to understand what was at the root of her own behavior. It showed me that at least in this life she was not redeemable. She wasn’t about to heal, she was going to hold on for dear life, and that was that. I had married someone who didn’t have it in her to heal in any substantive way, at least not with me around. Narcissist 2.0 was much the same except with the added quality of saying how she was changing while she in fact had not changed. The stumbling block that I had sensed in her from day one remains to this day. Some day she might get around to healing it. I hope she does because it will add a little more peace to the world somewhere, but luckily, it wont be anywhere in my sphere of experience. When I am able to give up these things, the universe has a very efficient way of clearing these people from my life. Thank goodness.

Acceptance is the most adult and most compassionate thing that can be done in my estimation. Narcissists only respect the authority like judges and police, never their victims. Until they can see what it is they have done will they begin to change. Only they can do this work, and who knows how that will play out. It has been incredibly instructive, just as my inner voice had told me it would be, which would be one of my greatest of teachers. It just wasn’t the kind of teacher I thought it would be. But that is fine, because the universe is neutral and sometimes we take the light with the dark and do what we can as we can.

What is interesting is how everything can change when I decide to no longer be silent on the matter. In the case of my first narcissist, writing to one of my children who was affected by what his mother had done was one important outgrowth of this process. It is hard to explain how vulnerable a child can be when their mother is so willing to lie and obfuscate the truth to a young child. What is a child to do? Whom are they to believe? Families can be torn apart by this kind of behavior, something known and parental alienation syndrome. Whether that child can take what I write to heart isn’t what is important at the cosmic level because that child will do what that child’s freewill dictates. However, just by writing the letter some things have shifted for the better. And for my second narcissist, just by writing to that person and letting them know some of the inconvenient truths which I never spoke about (what was the point I wondered?), that alone has begun to bring rapid change in my life at a material level. New people are beginning to filter into my life all with a very different vibe than from before. When we signal we are ready, that signal can often be honored. I think for me, it was long over due.

How To Deal With A Narcissist

But before you deal with a narcissist you might need to figure out if they are a narcissist or not. One thing that is helpful to understand is that when identifying personality disorders, you don’t need to have all of the symptoms present. People exist along a spectrum in all aspects of life. You can easily have someone who has borderline personality disorder who only has half of the stated symptoms as stated in the DMS 5, a guide for health professionals in diagnosing and treating personality disorders. My first narcissist was hard to identify because she had so many behaviors that looked like she was selfless, kind, and caring. When the gloves came off, though, the truth was revealed to me: a lot of this was an act. When she got mad enough, she would start telling me exactly how she felt, and it wasn’t pretty at all. It was in moments of stress that the truth came out and that was when I was able to see for certain that this person said a lot that sounded like she was a kind compassionate person but that these outbursts would show how she really felt. Was she an undercover narcissist? Did she submerge a lot of her behavior that was narcissistic unless there was stress in her life? With narcissist #2, some behaviors were easier to identify right out of the gate. I suspected that this was a replay of my life with the first narcissist, so I think I was more able to watch and observe behavior. With narcissist #2 there was more apologies but with the result of pulling me back into the web of manipulation and chaos. Being able to identify these types can save you from a great deal of strife in the future. Luckily, narcissists are fearful of being found out and will go to great lengths to keep that from happening. In my situation, I was told by my attorney to make notes of my ex’s behavior and to save all texts and emails. This helped a lot in helping to dispel any notion that this was just in my head. The same was repeated for the second narcissist. I saved posts and emails and texts and they helped in creating a library that revealed how contradictory her statements were and how much of a liar she had been. Because she tends to crave others’ attention and approval, having someone who can call them out is not someone who will stick around you if they know that this is the case.

Identifying A Narcissist

Good luck, and take my advice: there is not real dealing with a narcissist. They alone must reach a point where they themselves are willing to change (or an authority imposes it on them). It is better to step away and ask yourself why it was you were drawn to them in the first place.

~Parker

Lao Tzu once said that men, in order to know the Tao, needed to cultivate a receptive feminine quality in their minds, in their consciousness. It was this quality that open men up and allows them to relate better to the feminine principle so that they might better understand and appreciate the power that exists in yielding and receiving. It is all too easy for men to exaggerate or emphasize their masculine traits as a kind of emotional armor against which they protect themselves from what the world might seem to throw at them. Really all this ever has done is to insulate men even further from their natural selves. While seeming to protect them from the world what men might fear, what is really at work is how men have chosen to feel about the world and how that world might be at odds with their truer nature. So then the armoring really only serves to shield you against yourself, or your truer nature. A lot of this is learned behavior, so it follows that it can be unlearned as well.

A lot is thrust upon us here on earth, man and woman alike. We are taught from early ages how to be, what to like, and what we ought to believe. All of this is the product of culture, and culture is not the self, but a kind of collection of many selves that have gone before us that chose or valued things they thought were important. That is all. As a result, we take what others have fashioned and we try to make it into ourselves. The result is that some things work, and others do not. One thing that is becoming clear is that a lot of these cultural beliefs don’t suit us, not always.

I will point out that these learned behaviors are being instilled in us, supported, by men and women alike. I was once in a marriage where my wife, when hearing me express myself emotionally, would chide me saying, “This isn’t about you…” It was a quick way to express her discomfort at a quality that she believed was not a masculine trait. It is interesting because it was always okay for her to express how she felt without any pressure from me to do otherwise. But more importantly was how my son was raised up. She called him her “protector.” This is similar to calling a small boy a “little man.” We say these things often with swelling pride because we value certain qualities and want our children to take those on. We don’t understand sometimes how destructive these expectations are to children. A child does not know how to be a man, he is only three or four years of age and does not have the emotional means to handle what an adult does, nor should he. In the case of my son, when he was drafted into his protector status, when all you have everything is a nail. It turned out to be a quality that served to blind him in his life about the true nature of the relationships around him and how his Mother would later abuse his trust in her for less than noble reasons. The relationship fell apart with my then-wife when I stopped behaving in the old ways and simply was myself. Yes, it was a loss at the time, but it also meant that I gained my soul. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to pretend to be something that you aren’t. A large part of this had to do with a fundamental shift that was happening where I began to see the value in this receptive quality within myself. Not everyone is going to value it, and if they do not, they might just be the wrong kind of people to surround yourself with. It’s a hard lesson sometimes, but once learned you can do better and be with the kind of people who do value what you value as well. In fact the Law of Attraction will see to it that this happens, but only after you have changed your beliefs surrounding these programmed behaviors. You have to be aware of what is driving you if you are ever going to attract something different. We are all involved in our culture so by being aware of what we are doing to instill what anthropologists call “cultural knowledge” (or values) we can choose to do better in our raising of children (and ourselves).

For men, there is this particular idea that they have to be strong, and that means denying certain emotions or feelings. If you don’t believe this, just notice how often you ever see a man weeping over the sight of a puppy or a baby. There isn’t a lot of that kind of thing going on. You see, we have been taught as men that this is a sign of weakness. In fact, we have been taught that whatever a woman might experience or express is what a man ought never to engage in lest we become weak like women are weak. That of course is an assumption, a bias, a belief, that women are somehow weak. The problem with this way of thinking is that we know that women aren’t weak at all. The story is much bigger than that. Emotionally, women are much healthier in many ways than men are because they have permission to express and emote. Men do not, except for those emotions that are considered to be more masculine (aggressive ones usually). Now of course I am making a generalization, because not all men are like that, and the tide is indeed changing in a favorable direction currently, but there is more work to be done, and more to be aware of. I can explain this by asking the simple question: how many women in the last ten years have been involved in mass shootings? What do you think is at the root of the fact that men take guns and go out and shoot as many people as they can? Of course it is wrong to go out and kill people, it is a terrible thing to do to another human being. What I suspect is at the core of this kind of behavior is an inner rage, an inability to be seen or heard or to emote while at the same time the belief that the only way a real man can express himself is through aggressive behavior. These shootings are a manifestation of the most exaggerated qualities in male nature, but they do help to prove a point. Instead, expression is limited to violence because being tough is the only thing left for men. It doesn’t need to be this way.

Cultivating an ability to receive, to have a certain feminine quality in your awareness does not make you less of a man, it makes you more of a man. It allows you to relate to women better and it also allows you to feel your emotions instead of denying them. It is unnatural for men to deny their feelings. It is as unnatural for a man to deny his feelings as it is for a parent to call their two year old boy child their “little man” which is, of course, how these values are passed down to male boys who then grow up thinking that they have to be like men. The problem is that boy doesn’t really know how to be a man. It is unnatural. And yet, each year, there are parents all around the world who are calling their boys their “little men” and they do so with swelling pride because we have been taught, programmed, to value these qualities. So what the culture does not provide for you, you must learn to provide for yourself.

In all change, there is always the “threat” of not being accepted. We are all so programmed to value and to be triggered by certain behaviors that we see. Our bodies will respond to our inner beliefs about what manhood is when we see the programmed behaviors in others and ourselves running on automatic. We all have this programming, what it is the culture has told us masculinity and femininity is, and it all works automatically. You can change all of that, of course. You start by changing it in yourself. If you are a man, you begin by being courageous and cultivate this inner sensitivity. You learn to become a channel in your thinking. To know the greater mysteries of the universe you must receive. If you do receive, you can learn a lot and you can also appreciate the tenderness of women, the thoughtfulness of women, and the vulnerability that women can feel. Woman may be weaker than men, but it is not emotionally, but only outwardly. Weakness in this way is not a fault, not an article of shame, it is just how we are made and how we are made has a great purpose in a life so it should be respected, revered, even.

One thing that all of this does is it begins to erase in a man fears of incipient homosexuality. When this evaporates, the self is more open to acknowledge the larger truth of the self. This in turn can open you up to a still larger truth about all humans on the earth who are coming and going in this grand experiment in learning and growing here on earth. It can lead to a respect for all people and it begins to erase the divisions many people create that separate human from human.

It isn’t that masculinity is to be distrusted or torn down, but that in our past certain qualities have been exaggerated. You don’t need to exaggerate, you need only to explore and feel as fully as you can and allow yourself to go in feeling in places where perhaps you felt you weren’t allowed. You can begin this on your own as a kind of experiment. Consider that feeling is itself not weakness, and when you do that, you might actually see how you begin to dismantle a belief that might be within you without your having realized it. What I found when I did this was that there was this truly amazing amount of energy in consciousness that was now available to me that had not been available before. It was so good that I just never went back. I told myself that if someone tried to pull the old cultural strings on me, I just would not respond, I would resist being activated by that kind of cultural value which was outmoded and which tries to keep men in the old mode. The only way they have you is if you let them shame you or trigger you. The trigger only ever has power if you give it value. Leave it alone, let it be, let it fall away as you experiment with feeling and receiving. I can tell you that it will help you in meditative work and it will help in your life in surprising ways. There is nothing to be lost in doing this kind of thing inwardly.

When we are young we are soft and supple and as we age we often grow hard and stiffened. We aren’t made to be that way, and often beliefs about ourselves will stiffen us into unnatural postures and ways of feeling. Take what Lao Tzu said to heart. In Eastern practice the power in their martial arts is the degree to which they use feminine-like principles to overcome an opponent. You literally can use the force of another against him (or her) so that their force works against them. If you know the power in such things, you can begin to learn to cultivate an appreciation for the “other” which is also who you are because we are all just one family here when you get right down to it. There is nothing to oppose, and everything to nurture and build up. Men would do well to do more of that in themselves than the other things which have kept us locked in personal and mass conflict. There is no power in control, only brutality. There is no strength in war, only destruction and theft. These are not noble qualities, they are those of lower life. The masculine can be tempered with understanding and I suspect that this is what the world needs right now. And if a woman rejects you for being sensitive, take that as a sign that she herself has been programmed into a belief system that wont serve you. Just walk away. Do you really need someone to approve of you? Do you need love so bad that you will become someone else’s puppet on a string just so you will get showered with love? What kind of love does such a thing? It is surely a very pinched and distorted form of love.

When you cultivate this inner receptivity you can begin to see just how little as a man, as a person, that you really know. It makes a person humble in such a place as this. Don’t worry about others, just tend to yourself. You aren’t here to make the world into your image, you can just let the world do what it is doing. Live by example. If more people did this, the world would change in the right way, without coercion, without force, using only inspiration as the way that change takes place. This is the softer hand at work and it gives freewill its proper voice in the world. If something is worth doing then it will become apparent, you don’t have to force it. You inspire the change, and not everyone will be so inspired by you. This is natural. If your ego needs validation so badly that you must force your ideas on another, it might be that those ideas aren’t worth adopting if they must be adopted by force.

There is no loss in masculinity in doing this kind of work, nothing at all. What we might lose is the bias that exists against others different from us. It could soften chauvinism, and a sexist outlook. This alone would make the world, at least your corner of it, a better place. It might even make you into a better version of yourself, someone the world might just be in need of.

image of the human brain with strands of electricity on it.

So every now and again, this inner Presence does its thing when I am in the right kind of mind space. It always feels like someone is asking me to become part of a partner in crime….to go on this thought adventure….

So consider what it showed me. I have been writing about, as have others written about, how kundalini is at least in part the union of the opposites, two opposites that move into union. These opposites may very well be reflected in the two hemispheres of the brain as channels for cognition and then explode into something more when the two become-one, an idea that is pretty big amongst those who experience awakening and the resulting near-obsession that we can tend to have with inner union…divine union. But this little rascal in me opened a door recently and flashed that mischievous smile at me that told me I just had to follow it.

It showed me another dimension of all of this, which has had to do with research I have done over the years of the connection that exists with stored emotion being let go especially after kundalini is aroused. It’s as if the emotion is being released from the body. A close friend and massage therapist who knows energy work has many times worked on me and by pressing a spot on my body, caused an emotion to lift and release, gone forever, leaving me with a little blank spot and a little less reactivity or one less trigger. Okay, so this energetic presence is saying to look deeper at this quality. I’m not getting what it is pointing to, so it says, that as we wake up and as the two hemispheres activate in this new arrangement we call cosmic consciousness or what I used to call meta-mind (before I even knew this thing I had had a name), but that it then activates the body consciousness or intelligence that exists in each person. We don’t think of the body as having intelligence within materialistic science, but it turns out there is a LOT of information about it written in the East. In Zen Buddhism they say “the body thinks.” We say “What does your heart tell you?” and “What does your gut say?” All of these are a nod to body intelligence. Now we might at this point kind of roll our eyes a bit with that suggestion, but hang on a moment.

In recent research we have found that the human gut has as many neurons as the brain of the average house cat. Now I ask you, what is the gut doing with so many neurons? What’s more, the heart has them in a high concentration as do all of the major organs. The body or viscera has its own neurological system separate from the one that goes from the brain to the rest of the body that is called the vagus nerve. Researchers have found recently that there is more signal activity going from the brain from the heart than from the brain to the heart. Signal means information, and information implies intelligence. What gives?

So this presence is suggesting that this other “brain” is linked to the brain in our cranium during the process of awakening and that one reason why many report feeling these energetic blasts up the core of their bodies (raises his hand) is because this is the moment when this brain is brought along with the other two hemispheres into a greater unity. Then conversations I have had with people who have described their awakenings begin to make a kind of sense when they almost universally use terms to describe the experience of feeling things all the way down to the cellular level (some say atomic, but close enough). Is it possible that what we are experiencing is the linkage of this third brain into a larger consciousness and that this ties us more closely to our emotions which may well have some of their origin in the body itself? For as crazy as this may sound, we do have both anecdotal as well as established evidence that this may well be true.

In my hunt years ago for this intelligence I came across the work of researchers who gathered data from hundreds of organ recipients and found a high correlation of the recipients having what could only be described as the memories of the donor. In fact, in one case a child was able to identify the person who had killed the donor, which triggered the organ donation. The child was able to name and describe the person who had committed the murder. There are all kinds of stories similar to this one (okay, this was one of the most dramatic illustrations of memory retention in the organ) that researchers had collected. Now it is worth noting that some scientists view this area of study as being pseudoscience, but I find it to be something worthy of more study. I know for myself that my body has certainly exhibited and still exhibits some form of intelligence and awareness that is structurally different from what the brain offers, but still may make up part of our overall intelligence. If it does indeed do this, then it would be worth tapping into it for a host of reasons, many of which we might not even be able to anticipate at this point what they might even be.

My question then is this why those who awaken are able to “shake” off the trauma from the past because we are now more intimately connected with that part of the body, that the whole neural network is now aligned and “connected” by way of this inner alignment that pushes consciousness into a whole new arena of awareness? I ask the question. I’d be interested in your thoughts and experience pro or con. I don’t know what to think of this impish presence that takes me down these rabbit holes. Just had to put this down so I could get to sleep tonight.

Sweet dreams…

Shaktipot or Shaktipata is the process by which a teacher aids the student in stepping over the last barrier that divides them from an ordinary state of being and the expansion of consciousness that takes place with kundalini. If used incorrectly, it can awaken students who are not yet ready and it can cause problems. It can also not “take” because the student is not sufficiently prepared. However, it is possible to use it correctly when the teacher has a discerning mind to aid the person to step over that last barrier.

The great yogi and teacher Swami Rama speaks to this issue in a way that I think is one of the more enlightened and balanced ways of any teacher I have ever had the chance to listen to speak. Swami Rama also has many other teachings which have been recorded and are available online to watch. I have found that his approach has been the most sound and the most balanced.

For example, he points out that kundalini is not a goddess only, but is instead a fusion of the opposites of those qualities which we consider to be masculine and feminine within our consciousness. This is important to understand if you wish to understand what is at work with kundalini. Most say it is a goddess. If you know why that is, you might understand how “masculine” we are in our thinking and being. This in no way takes away from the experience the importance of the feminine, but it helps to show how kundalini is itself an act and phenomenon that seeks balance. I will say that what we term the feminine aspect in all of our consciousness (men and women both) is normally dormant, and it has as much to do with the “cosmic egg” resting at the base of the spine as it does with the two hemispheres of the brain.

For anyone who has experienced awakening you may have felt how a very feminine quality has suddenly come online. Have you ever considered why this is so? Could it be that as a culture and a species that we have favored the rational, linear and logical parts (and thus “masculine”) of ourselves more than the nonlinear, holistic, emotional (and thus “feminine”) aspects of ourselves? I consider kundalini to be a way whereby the two powers of mind are now brought into a unity, which then leads to the generation of a “new” mind which we call cosmic consciousness. If you take one away, the wave of awareness collapses. Both are necessary to produce this kind of mind I call the Meta Mind. It also shows us in our own lives how all of life matters, how all people matter. If we lose sight of this kundalini becames one-sided and our minds become one-sided, too. I know that I digress a bit, but sometimes these small points are important for helping iron out confusion.

Kundalini will clear the self of blocked emotion, and this is itself the imperative that kundalini has, which is to bring the person to greater balance, not drama or intensity or just “cosmic” experiences. For a time it feels dramatic as the kundalini is clearing out the blocks, but once this is done the energy settles down. The ancients describe how it becomes smooth. No ripples, no disturbances.

As a result, there is an entire generation of awakened people who have gotten used to its “intensity” when in fact it is kundalini doing what it does in the early stages of the process. The endgame is peace. The problem is that people can get stuck on the intensity and not let kundalini do its work. They like the intensity, the drama, the strong emotions that it brings up all without realizing that this emotion is the poison leaving the system. So to say that kundalini is one or the other misses the point and can leave you “one-sided” in your awareness. Yes, it connects us to higher order energies and those energies include what we think of as divine feminine and masculine….but so too does it connect us to other energies in consciousness that are just as beneficial to us.

Swami Rama’s teachings have been the most consistent in how it goes beyond any agenda. These kinds of teachers often are not as interesting to people who want something dramatic, but he is a teacher who has gotten beyond many of the conceits that often plague non-dual teachers. These conceits as I call them, often result in distortions of awareness and become an article of belief (which stills further investigation). As a result, these teachers repeat teachings that can only go so far and are not born out in more final or complete results. What do you think the result is when you have a teacher who does not know the true nature of self? Ideas like the self is an illusion, that all of life and reality are illusory, not real. While it is true that we are constantly judging or filtering what we see in the world, that alone is not what makes our world illusory. It is possible to see into the core of physical reality to see how it is composed. When I did that, it wasn’t that the world was an illusion but rather that it was a creation that was creating the appearance of solid matter from a source of great energy and purpose.

This is one example of how these teachers, no matter how much acclaim that they get from their followers, have missed important realities of the self and how it relates to cosmic consciousness. But who would know if the teacher him or herself does not know?

The teacher teaches something that is based on his or her own lack of understanding and awareness and this gets handed down and gets passed around to all of the other students, and it get repeated until everyone takes it as an article of faith. What do you think that person’s capacity for discernment might be under such a situation as this? But it gets worse; teacher after teacher then goes on repeating the same ideas and it seems to others who study their teachings that it must be, and the pattern only gets more deeply impressed on the community at large. If you say an untruth enough times it has a way of being accepted as truth and no one bothers to question it.

In my own experience I have seen that we take on selves and identities as an important part in our learning process. At no point have I ever seen self as false but instead as part of the process of becoming. But do not mistake the expansion of consciousness that comes with awakening to mean that the self is somehow false, it is simply part of a much larger story of how varied our consciousness is. We can experience both feeling separate as well as one. Both. They are not mutually exclusive. Why would they be? You come from the infinite and you have divided part of yourself to fit into this body, one chapter in a host of chapters called lifetimes. And despite how the self is decried as false, there is not a single one of these teachers who have shown how they can remove it with a waive of their own awareness. If it is an illusion, then why not pierce that illusion once and for all? Not a one. And so this is telling, the elephant in the room. Hopefully that elephant is Ganesh, the remover of obstacles, lol! Rama has much to say about ego, not as something to kill off, but to master. He even touches on this in the short but revealing video below.

So Rama is unique in the field. His teachings continue to show a great deal of awareness on a host of fronts. I am not one who “follows” a teacher, but what I have seen in his work has been a considerable level of insight. Yes, it is because without a teacher I have seen how his teachings have aligned with my direct experience.

How do I know that I myself am not buying into a belief? My earliest memory in this life was of choosing my parents. This was before I had a body. If ego is false and identity is false, how did I manage to have a sense of self at that point? Further, how did I recall numerous past lives? Given my level of recall (including two lost languages and historical accounts to back up some of my memories) I see the chance of simply “imagining” these things hard to square with Occams Razor.

I invite you to watch what he has to say about what a teacher can do for the student when it is done correctly…

What happens when you begin to develop a capacity to recall past lives? In my case, when I had enough details from some lifetimes, I began to see patterns from one life to another. Normally, the lives I have lived are of people unknown to history. Over the last few years I have had clear enough recall to be able to pinpoint two lives known to history. I include this post for those of you with an interest in this type of inquiry. It is possible, with some research, to sometimes find lives that have been known through historical accounts.

A few years ago, after having a conversation with someone who I didn’t know in this life but who I had had a dream about, someone who I had correspondence with, I later experienced seeing a scene emerge that I knew was from a very ancient lifetime that involved this person. What was interesting about this experience was how clear and crisp the images were. I was able, by feeling into it, to tease out details that I “just knew” about but didn’t know how or why I knew them. This experience was a lot like putting together a puzzle. Instead of trying to “push the river” on digging stuff up, and risking possibly making something up in the process, I found myself just feeling into it and then letting myself being led into the experience.

When I say I was “feeling into it” I will explain that this is a particular form of “thinking” that requires me to be (1) very honest with myself and (2) careful that I am truly feeling instead of fabricating something. This isn’t about using emotion though. Instead it is based on the awareness that our capacity to feel can lead to realization. I think many people might have a hard time with this because most tend to discount their feeling side, or think it is inconsequential. It isn’t. Also, the more clearing work that you do, the more you open up this side of your preceptual awareness in order to better see just what is there. That said, on to what I first began to see.

I stood in a room that was a bedroom chamber. The room was made of stone with hewn timbers in the roof. Near the head of the bed there was a window. I looked out with wooden shutters which were pulled to the side that opened to the bright warmth of the day. Looking into a courtyard I saw flowers and shrubs below. This was, though, desert country. I knew those plants were there because water was fed to them. They would not have survived without daily care, not in that sun, not in this dry land. Looking out that window, I saw I was at least two stories up from the ground. I knew that this building belonged to someone who was of high status because the homes for most people were single-story buildings, made of brick or stone.

As I stood in this space, I was immediately aware of a woman who was my wife. She was tall and willowy. Her hair was kept and fell around her shoulders in tight curls. When I saw her I recognized her as the person who I had had a series of conversations with previously. She wore what looked like a dress, but this dress went from shoulder to foot and it highlighted her height. Me, on the other hand, was another story. While she was refined and well kept, I was stocky, short even, with dark curly hair and beard. The word “bull” came into my mind. I was, I knew, much like a bull. I was strong, stocky….and as I saw myself, a clear realization came into my mind: I was a general who served a king. I was aware of my “office” which was a hive of activity. It was located a ways off from where I stood. A general….but who?

I thought about how this man looked. He wasn’t Egyptian. Not Greek. Not Jewish. Not Arab or Turk. Not Persian. I kept going through my mental rollodex and ended at Babylonian. Over and over it kept coming back to that. Babylonian? Huh….

Fast forward a couple of years, and as a result of having had an experience that emerged in the wake of my having had a regression this past Summer which I wrote about several months ago, I had an unexpected outcome afterwards. This gets a bit unusual, but hang on for a bit. In this experience, I was having a conversation with an ET who I had a dream about in the early 1990’s. In this case, the ET was unlike any ET I have heard any description of. It wasn’t the typical “grey” or any other ET race I have read about people describing. While the being was the “five-point star” configuration of two arms, feet and a head (humanoid), her skin was not at all like ours, but had the look of burnt marshmallow. Her eyes were golden and the pupils were of different shape. Her head had a curious extrusion-effect along the forehead that made her head like that of a hammerhead shark (but nowhere near as much as a hammerhead). We had been talking and she was sitting in my living room, pointing to the sky explaining that she had to return from where she had come. I was hoping to get into this dream during my regression this past Summer, but it turned out we were only able to cover one early dream during that first session. As a result, my mind thought about this encounter because I wondered what the source of that dream might have been. Having read a few books on the abduction phenomenon I was aware that many abductees first had dreams as a clue that something larger was happening in their lives.

It was a curious time because not long after this dream encounter, I awoke one morning to find that my feet looked like I had been taken out of the house at night. My feet were visibly scratched like I had been dragged through a gravel parking lot. I had grass stains on the sides of my feet. The stains were fresh. The nails on my toes had also been scratched. I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart racing, wondering what on earth had happened. There was no memory of what had transpired. I searched my memory and knew that I had not been out the day before or even weeks before barefoot. I had showered the night before. Seeing this was one of those very odd things that didn’t fit and that odd puzzle piece kept screaming at me as if it didn’t belong. It was also one of the chief reasons why I decided to see a trained hypnotherapist. There was no blood and I wouldn’t say it looked like a struggle. I began to attempt contact not long ago in my present day to see if doing so might yield some answers. It was a bit of an experiment, but I considered that in all of the ET lore, beings who have become interstellar all seem to communicate through telepathy. This was a very easy way to get around the issue of different languages and since telepathy has shown to not be held to the same laws that a radio signal has (going at the speed of light and taking tens or hundreds of thousands of years to reach its target), I considered that this was worth a try at least to see if anything came of it.

It was quite the surprise when I tried this, because I was immediately in a space with that being again and what took place was…bizarre. Instead of it being a case of a cagey alien keeping its cards close to its chest, this being was incredibly forthcoming. She immediately recognized me when I reached out to attempt contact, and as I found myself suddenly in her space, which looked like a giant hangar, she did this thing where she looked down at the ground, stopping dead in her tracks, and took in a deep breath and then looked straight at me. It was just like how you might expect someone to react who hadn’t seen you in over twenty years. The reason why I am mentioning this encounter is that this being said during our conversation that she had a counterpart alive on earth and she said that I even knew this person. Now I had a moment where I did a double-take. “On earth?” I asked. “Yes…” and she brought up the image of this person and it this was the person who I had been in contact with about two years ago and who I had remembered I had had a life in Babylon with. While our exchange was not pertinent to the Babylonian life, what the being told me I passed on to my friend later, contacting her after a few years of having been out of contact. This was the bizarre part….The being explained that she was a “commander” of a small fleet of ships and did a number of different things that involved trade and shipping, essentially. When I told my friend about this she said that she had a memory of having been an ET in another life who was a “commander” in just the way that the ET had described. So it seems once you go down that rabbit hole, it gets a bit unusual.

Time had passed, two years, and since then I have had a number of releases take place. I think as a result, one night not long ago when I walked into the studio, I found the same scene of that bedroom rise up around me, probably because of our conversation two weeks earlier. This time, as I looked at that same window and the bed nearby, I heard clearly….”He was a general….who became king.” A flurry of thoughts played through my mind at this point. I realized or knew that whoever this man was, his being crowned king after being a general made the events surrounding his ascendancy to a throne a rare one….because when have you heard of generals becoming king in any culture? Most cultures with kings meant you had to be in the family. This man wasn’t. Now, two years later, a whole new wrinkle emerged that wasn’t available to me previously. I mention this because it may help you to see how “doing the work” can have other ramifications, like better recall.

I had several more details stream in in the wake of this new realization. I saw a wrought iron “keeper” that was used to hold the shutters open. This detail was in the shape of what I recognized was the seed of anise. Additionally I knew that we were involved in a practice known as Heiros Gamos, the union of God and Goddess. This practice was understood by the people to be tied to our own creative energy and when this union took place the opposites merging resulted in powerful and potent forms of manifesting. In this culture, they used this for good crops. It was desert country. These people understood creative visualization taken to a high level, essentially. I saw just how ancient all of this was. While this may have been what the kings and queens engaged in, this was part of our own individual personal power. Back then it was about the authorities doing this for the good of all the people. This was a way, if you were successful, of holding onto power. Your ability to bring good things to all of the people was what cemented your rule and position with the people. All power comes from the people even if the kings would be the last to admit it. After all, I knew that this man was able to come to power because of the backing of the people. How this happened, I was not entirely clear on. I realized that it might be possible to find out who this person was because it was very likely that his rise to power was a unique event and might be mentioned in history.

During preparing this post I did more research into the details that I saw and I found some curious things. The wrought iron detail that I saw on the wall that held the shutters open, this star-like wrought iron form I thought originally there might be no way to know for sure whether it was correct or not. What was the chance of finding a wrought iron detail in an archeological dig of the same object to show that it had indeed been used at all? In watching a video of historical accounts related to Babylon I found that the older friezes and bas reliefs found in museums showed that many of the rulers had a floral design both on their headdresses and on wrist-bands. This same design shows up on the Ishtar Gate, which was built at about the same time. While this design looked similar to the anise design, I knew that it was not a direct hit. But while watching a video of images in the natural history museum in Iraq, I saw another image that was also in some of the images, and this image showed up a number of times, and it was a six-sided star form that has the same look as star anise. While this is itself probably not strong enough evidence and it could not hold up in a court of law, it is itself a tantalizing clue that I will continue to follow to see if archeologists have ever unearthed wrought iron forms or “keepers” for shutters, for example. Could it have just been the shape for a star and not anise? Yes, it is possible. At this point in the digging I have done, it can also possibly be anise as well. I wont know until I dig further to see if I can find more details related to this. But it is a clue and when you go looking into the past, it is details like these that you have to look for to see if history offers anything tangible or directly related to your search. The fact that I saw so clearly this design in the way I did deserves a second look. If I do dig something more up I will include it here in future edits of this post. Images of what I saw are included in the images below…

What I saw was very similar to this, but there were too many “petals.” So I looked further.

Here you can see the same floret, but look to the left and another image appears…

This is a closeup…

And there is another…

This is anise. It is described as having 6-10 points depending on the variety and development of the plant. A star? Or a plant that looked like a star? Perhaps they were used interchangeably…it was grown in the region.

While I regarded this scene again, feelings flooded in that filled in some of the spaces. I had known this person before and in a myriad of ways. I felt the love, the care, the admiration this man had for this woman. I felt how something would rise up within me, that ancient knowing of how we were whenever we came into each others’ presence. It was because of other pasts that this unspeakable familiarity came. I felt the rush of feeling, I felt how unapologetic I was about who I was…how direct and how utterly unashamed I was of how I felt because of its depth and vividness. Something in her brought something out in me. It is true that some people will do that to you. For me now, it was about the creative power within the opposites as one. And yet, this was simple in so many ways, effortless even. I stopped contact with this person initially because it was often too clear, too strong, and vivid. But this recent conversation, as unlikely as it was, with an ET millions of light years away, brought it all back, nudging an orbit back onto an ancient path….With all of this and the new disclosure that this man was not just a general to a king but a king himself, I took to the internet to see what might be there.

I didn’t have to look very far. When I entered “Babylonian general who became king” the result was a singular one. There was only one general of the Babylonian army who rose to be crowned king. His name was Nabopollaser and he reigned beginning in 628 B.C. His son was Nebuchadnezzar II.

Most of the lives I have lived have been of regular folks, many who were anonymous to history. This man, though, was able to rise to power, replacing the Assyrian king Ashurbanipal not long after his death, when there was a power vacuum involving his sons who clearly were having a struggle with holding onto power and even deciding who was going to succeed him. It was a coup, but one that involved wresting power back to the Babylonians, something that the people were behind him on. That, and he had an army who would fight for him if it came to that. I was aware that here was a man of Babylon who had served under an invading king who had been part of a dynasty that had been an occupying force in the country. In a way you could say it was not unlike what is happening right now with the U.S. as an occupying force in Iraq. He chafed under this rule, but he also was offered a better life by serving this king. His own loyalty to his own people won out, and along with his tenacity and courage, he took advantage of a situation that he saw develop after Ashur’s death. Also, years ago I awoke from dream with this very strange name in my head: Ashurbanapal. I didn’t know what it meant back then, didn’t even know that it was even a name. Where had that come from? I looked it up and saw it was the name of an old Babylonian king. It went no further than that. there was no memory back then, no sense of being on to something. It was like a curve ball from out of left field.

Here is where things get interesting. This life mirrored another life that I had with numerous memories from that took place in the Yucatan in Palenque. This was itself as much of a rabbit hole as the Babylonian life because of how many details that I recalled that wound up being in line with what we know about the ruler there in South America. In both cases, these men were involved in major building projects. Now you might think, “But a king would be building stuff, right?” But if you look at the history, some leaders undertook building projects and others did not. For example, Ashurbanipal allowed his kingdom to go into ruin to a great extent. Buildings were falling apart and he just let it go. Nabopollaser came along and began shoring up the old buildings and then began building new ones. When we look at the Yucatan in 600 A.D., it was one king and his son who were largely responsible for not just building projects of significant scope, but an attention to art and decoration for those buildings. This also happened in Babylon—his son built the Ishtar Gate and while it is “just a gate” into the city, it is considered by many historians to be one of the great wonders of the world for how beautiful it was. Both used nationalistic pride to get the cooperation of their people behind these construction projects. It took time and money, man and woman power, to get it all done. Stone had to be quarried, laid, and carved for decoration. Tiles were fired in bright colors, paintings were done on temple walls and bas relief which stood the test of time even as the murals have faded were part of both lives One was alive in 600 B.C. and the other almost exactly one century later in 600 A.D.

Both built water works. In Babylon, this makes sense because of how dry it was, but in a rain forest country like Palenque, the waterworks that were built were underground and archeologists are to this day still scratching their heads to understand what the purpose of that extensive building project was even about. Both built ziggurat-like buildings (ziggurat and step pyramids). Both had sons who followed them in their reign and in their building projects. Both leaders would not have ordinarily risen to power on their own merits or based on their lineage. In the case of Nabopollasser, he filled a power vacuum after an Assyrian king died by having the army in case he needed to use them, but more by having the backing of his own people who were eager to also throw off the influences of a foreign dominating power (the Assyrians). Once crowned, he pushed out the Assyrians (an invading force that also happened in the case of our king in Palenque). In the case of our jungle king, his mother essentially created a narrative that placed him within the royal line of kings even though this narrative really didn’t exist. Both led their people to a new zenith in their culture. Both were fierce in war. Pacal fought alongside his army to push out invaders from other areas and Nabopolassar pushed out the Assyrians, both in the early parts of their reigns. What I saw in Palenque was they literally scared the poop out of the invading forces. He explained that they had to appear as savages so that it would cement in the minds of the invaders that no one should even bother setting foot into their territory again. “Don’t mess with them, they are animals, they will eat your ears off!” As a result, there was peace during his lifetime. Both were involved in using spiritual energy to help bring abundance to the people. With the Babylonian king it was through the ritual of Heiros Gamos and with Pacal, it was his sacred blood which he shed ritually. In Mayan culture the king shed blood from his penis. Patterns, anyone?

So what happens when there is so much information through recall on crossing lifetimes from such disparate times and places? Does it forge the basis for a “new” way for us to be, based on the work done in other lives? What I know is that now I am not interested in the least with looking to authorities for the source of power. Instead, the next new wrinkle is the realization that we all have this inner authority and that we each have this gift, this ability to reach into the numinous. The keys to this realization were kept away from the common people for a very long time. Even in India and in other areas, the priestly caste kept the knowledge away from people because they knew that if not trained properly, it could lead to madness (which may have been legitimate to a certain degree but they also perpetuated a kind of infancy state in humanity at the same time not realizing how important it is that we experience what awakening is).

What I see as the biggest hurdle for us now has to do with our tendency to fall for the victim meme, which is all about the past. There is no power in the past, only in the present. We can learn things from it and in terms of reincarnation you can feel into what one person was able to feel back then that might help you with how to feel into your own issues facing you today, which can be helpful. If you are unable to see how this victim energy emerges, which is the connection between how you choose to react to outward events, events that are beyond your control, and how you then choose to make those events a problem….. is a very disempowering place to be. Trust me, I know. I had to dig myself out of that trap. It was one reason why once I awoke, my marriage came to an end because I could no longer play along with what I knew was a dysfunctional way of relating with another person.

What is so interesting, though, is this man knew power….but the way he wielded it was done in a singular way and not for everyone. Likewise, Pacal was also looked to as the source of divine power to his people. It is now time for us to grow up. Our channels for creative power exists just as powerfully in every person. One of these channels is our sexuality. Everyone says that kundalini is sexual energy. I don’t observe that this is the case, not completely, and it misses a critically important point. It isn’t just sexual energy, it is that our creative energy is not divided out into discrete streams but is felt in its truest way as uncompounded and undivided. It has long been seen and known as a path to God or the Source of All Life. When we reach that level of spiritual bliss our consciousness opens like a blooming lotus and as this happens the numinous emerges and union with the higher powers naturally rises up all around such a person. Here words fail, but you wind up in a place within yourself that shows there is this capacity to know realms that your physical senses will never show you. By letting this energy in and wash through you, your own inner lotus will bloom and so much of the past junk will naturally fall away. Nearly every tradition on earth has something to add to this understanding, and as a result it is not something that is an article of faith or belief, but can be understood as any other phenomenon is understood. Those wedded to a religious belief may not like this, but in my experience it is just another reason why we should begin the process of not allowing the limits of belief to limit our experience any longer. Central to each of these traditions is a release of that which limits us. In Christianity, we speak of baptism as a ritual for washing away sin, the blocked material from our past. In the Hindu tradition they describe this as the cleansing of the nadi channels in the body where it is now shown that the body stores this repressed emotional material from the past. In the Taoist tradition ego is superceded by a larger awareness that serves to heal false beliefs. The Tibetans have much the same practices all done through their own cultural lenses. The Native Americans have the “inipi” or sweat lodge where fasting and prayer go together to clear a person of the ghosts of the past.

In some cases, to do this work, you might need certain techniques to help the cleansing along because of how hard you are holding onto it. It is one reason why some people who have awakened can still remain blocked. I was like that at one time, and I had someone more aware than I was to set me straight. It represented a turning point in my awakening process. There is way more there if you can be humble enough to be led (by the cosmic mind or higher self) or to admit that you still have a lot of shit rattling around inside of you. In every single case, instead of a rational step by step formula meted out by some teacher from centuries ago (or from now even), the most immediate one is learning to surrender and to allow yourself to feel deeper and deeper into yourself. Using this very simple way of working, you can go deeper and deeper to pull up the whole place by its roots. Feeling. But many people still think that you do this by way of the rational. The problem is, you didn’t get there by feeling rational. You got there through feeling, but broken feeling. Still, people want techniques as if those things will magically transport them out of their problems. Sometimes those things can serve to be way of keeping people walking like an ox at a mill wheel who walks all day, getting nowhere. That is because many techniques are used to get you to feel a certain way….and it worked for one person in time and everyone else followed it. This is why so many people who do yoga or meditation will sit just as the Buddha was sitting when he had his awakening. There is no magic involved in sitting like that. I awakened without doing this and while I have used it, I have found no particular benefit from it (although I will say that the “mudras” do move energy through certain parts of the body that are beneficial). If you can learn that it is all about how you choose to use your consciousness through feeling, you really have a large part of it wrapped up. All techniques, save those that manipulate the meridian system manually, are based in getting you to a certain state of feeling and thus realization. The rational mind is entirely outclassed by the quantum leap that is cosmic consciousness and can only serve as a servant and not the master.

What I have observed, too, is how we can miss past life recall. I think how we do this is critical in order to ferret out accurate details. I was able to come to it to greater and greater degrees not by seeking it but by allowing enough barriers to perception to fall, and this took a good bit of time to do. Sometimes with each release, I can often have a new memory that was tied to that block emerge and sometimes it can have its roots in another life (and in this one too).

I once knew someone who tried to claim that she had known me in a past life, which she went on to describe in some detail. What she didn’t know was that the time period that she was claiming that this life took place in was already accounted for. I had at that time a growing level of recall of my past lives. I was living in Tibet during the end of this supposed time frame she was mentioning, and before that (in the earlier portion of this time period), I had one of my first detailed recalls living as a native American living in California. This life in my past simply didn’t exist as she had described. I did consider that I might have somehow missed it, but further investigation never brought it up. It also didn’t fit me, didn’t fit how I felt about family or the other aspects which she described, and if this post is any indication, patterns can reign supreme in this work. Having that life was like a curve ball, something that did not fit in my growing landscape of past lives whose patterns could be seen in my present life. I came to see that this was about telling a truth for her, but more in a mythical way. Instead, I began to see how the details, which didn’t fit any of my past life (and present life) patterns, were instead her own. It also revealed to me the issues that remained for her to clean up in her own life, some of which dog her to this day. A quick scan is enough to know what is up on that account. As a result, we get people who believe that they were Cleopatra, or some other figure in history who is well known. It turns out that thousands have claimed having been Cleopatra in a past life.

Truth be told, we live much more significant lives spiritually often when we are just the regular person on the street. But once in a great while we wind up in a drama that is recounted in our history. With this woman, the only life I had where she showed up was in a life in Spain during the period when the Inquisition was taking place. I was a magistrate and I had to pass sentence on a host of people who had gotten snagged by the Church. In it, this person came before me doing what she wound up doing in her present life. It won her no support to my mind. Yelling in court, she (as a he) had been caught defaming people and defrauding them. My karma was that I showed little mercy when I could have spared him (her). Just from that one forty-minute exchange we wound up with this pretty difficult karma that played out in this life. It didn’t take much, really. It wasn’t life after life after life, constantly seeking and not finding, but still trying. No, it wasn’t like that at all. I think it was that way for her, though, because clearly she believed she had known me many times before. But that “many times” was really about how invested she was in her own shame and hurt, which she had created as one of the most difficult emotional traps I could think of. I ultimately had to do what I could to let her think what she was going to think because that would wind up serving to distance her from me, and it did. It wasn’t the most honest thing to my mind at the time, but correcting her own narrative was not going to happen. She was dug in. And a lot of people are dug in in just this same way. Perhaps you have been much like this, caught up in things that you believe rather than truly know about yourself. I was. I hid out for decades, hiding the true me for fear that I might be held up for ridicule. And in the end, it happened anyway, and in letting it happen I learned that how those people act is their karma and how I react is mine. I had to simply exit that burning world. And when I did, I moved into a place of peace…..my own peace….on my own terms…and this led to a much better life for me. It allowed me to get back to square one and then reorient myself to my own inner truth and not the “truth” someone else was seeking to insert into my life simply because it felt so familiar to them even though it was a broken picture of their own work that remained to be done. Projection anyone?

Delores Canon, who spent decades doing regression hypnosis into past lives, found that the details that she uncovered during thousands of sessions could be cross referenced with other regression subjects who had been regressed to the same time periods and cultures to reveal a remarkably consistent story line that tended to agree with one another. When she took people back to the building of the pyramids for example, different people would describe the same things, some of which were quite unusual and not easy to just guess. As a result, it is important to have ways I think to cross-reference your details in cases where there are historical accounts available. I was able to find an account that was identical to a memory that I had as a Californian native American man that lined up perfectly with a written account in an old Army report in a case where the natives had tried to steal horses from an Army fort in the area. This case aligned with the same time frame as my memory (which I was lucky enough to be able to place on a specific time line based on what we also have in the historical record of these people) and involved details as to the number of people in our party as well as the number of people who were wounded (I was one of two who had been fatally wounded). This kind of historical evidence and detail isn’t always possible, though. In such a case, remaining open to more details coming through can sometimes help to flesh out more details. This can take time. It took me two years before I got enough information that I was able to locate myself in history where our Babylonian king was concerned. It may not be the kind of evidence that would hold up in a court of law, but it can provide important clues in helping to lead you to a fuller understanding of what was taking place and how this applies to your own spiritual development over time.

In my case, two years went by with releases of what are called “knots” or repressed stored emotion. Once you have gone through this enough times, it gets easier and more common. A full flow of prana or chi does help, but there are methods that can assist and many involve physical movement that unlocks emotional armoring locked into the body as well as manipulating the energy centers throughout the body. All are pretty simple methods. TRE, which I have written about before, is one very effective method along with body work involving acupressure with a practitioner who understands energy. Chi Gong is another very useful modality that when applied consistently over a period of time can result in significant releases of material, especially at the earlier (first two to three years) stages of awakening (although it could also help later as well). Sometimes even reiki can help. As the energy body clears, awareness also becomes more clear. A deeper understanding can result and a better understanding of your truer nature emerges to the degree that there is a greater awareness of the unity of all things and this translates to behavior changes that are permanent. Until that happens, these states are more like places that you can visit for periods of time as a kind of taste of what lies ahead. Until embodiment takes a greater hold, you can use these visits as a way to draw you forward. Things get easier, the self trusts in its ability to more consciously co-create with the universe.

Sound woo-woo? Well, that was what the ancients were doing, and tantra does just this, a tantra that isn’t rooted in just sex. Tantra is the direct path through, not around, problems. The only problem is the trouble that you have within yourself. This is what I have found. Any problem that you seem to have with the world has its root in you. That doesn’t mean, though, that you don’t seek to help bring change to those things that appear to be bad for people in the world. But the path to real change means being clear-eyed and honest about how the change needs to happen. Then you have to help with that change.

For me, the great interest facing me in coming back again in my next incarnation is in how differently I will be creating. In personal relationships, the way that a couple creates together is limited by the karmic threads that bind them. What is their character? What I know from experience is that as a couple become parents, the karma that those two hold together attracts the consciousness of other lives entering our reality, hopefully as the very means of working through that karma. But what happens when a couple creates without the kind of karmic load as that of a generation before? Does a new kind of person begin to make itself be known? What we each are doing in our own lives, waking up, has very concrete effects on the future of the planet even if you live your life in a solitary way.

No longer do we need the kings or priests. What they did, we can do. And in the Gospel of Philip, he explains that Jesus was teaching people how to BE Christs. How could Orthodoxy manage to have gotten this so wrong? This is the danger of this old way of thinking which is that only the kings and queens can do it, or the priests and priestesses or a church or government or an “outside” institution. We literally give up our power and give the institution our power by being a follower or adherent (and it also includes our money as well). It is less doing as allowing, a very feminine trait in all of our consciousness.

I know that I have made deals and resisted the hardest of blocks. I also know that as they go, I find greater and greater peace. There is this marvelous understanding of what these blocks do that was written in the Gospel of Philip from the Nag Hammadi Library which I include here:

That is why the word says, “Already the ax is laid at the root of the trees.” (Mt 3:10). It will not merely cut – what is cut sprouts again – but the ax penetrates deeply until it brings up the root. Jesus pulled out the root of the whole place, while others did it only partially. As for ourselves, let each of us dig down after the root of evil which is within one, and let one pluck it out of one’s heart from the root. It will be plucked out if we recognize it. But if we are ignorant of it, it takes root in us and produces its fruit in our heart. It masters us. We are its slaves. It takes us captive, to make us do what we do [not] want; and what we do want we do [not] do. It is powerful because we have not recognized it. While [it exists] it is active.

The more private teachings of Jesus and the ones which were hidden away for at least 1600 years and recovered in 1945 show a sophisticated understanding of how important it is to do release work. We might call it suppressed emotion today and they might have called it “evil” back then, but it is clearly the same thing. They saw this work as leading to “life” instead of “death.” I can tell you that when you do this work that your perceptions change simply because your beliefs that you hold that are part of the blocked emotion limit your perception and understanding of many things in the world, you see through a distorted lens, which then falls away (and “everything” about what that belief did to you changes). I have known people entirely caught up in their own inner story which had little to no relationship to the outside world. I was one of them, too. For myself, I see that all of this was a doing based on limited understanding, a growth through lifetimes, chapters in a larger book of life. Then later in time, there came a life that was made to open it all up. If you are awakened, then you are this life, made perfect for this work, so don’t doubt yourself. Step back and let that master within you show you what can be.

If you thought this was an interesting dive into reincarnation, you might find an associated post about how to navigate the professional victim worth a look..

https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/2016/03/29/the-victim-mentality/

I will be putting up a new installment in my ongoing effort to provide information about awakening (in the context of kundalini) through interviews. Being my busy time of the year for me at the studio, I am happy to be able to get this next one out to you in the next week.

I decided to create a battery of basic open-ended questions a few years ago for people who have experienced this phenomenon. While the questions ate limiting on the one hand, they serve to build a reference source because as each new interview is added, the same questions get asked. My hope is that the answers from my interview subjects will begin to create a spectrum of responses that may help illuminate in the mind of the reader the degree to which this phenomenon can vary from person to person while still standing under the big tent cover of awakening.

I am happy to include anyone who would like to participate in this project. You can choose to be anonymous if you wish, but I am happy to link to any web sites that you might be involved with so others can read your blog, or learn more abput what you do or up to our there in the world. Stats show a steady review of these interviews on weekly basis. Each interview is first posted and then a dedicated page is created where the interview remains at the top of the WTI blog so it remains easily accessible.

For inquiries about participating, you may reach me at info@staffordartglass.com.

Have a great day!

This just in from a friend.

There is a lot here about the interplay between the sexual polarity of man and woman. This struck a chord with me, underlining how much we often allow our own misalignment and deeper issues to get in the way of a more honest and realistic approach to who we are not just physically but psychicaly (emotional/psychologically).

Worth a listen…

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/deeper-with-sophie-josephina/id1518161721?i=1000485819892

Enjoy~

Parker

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