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This was a question that came up a while ago and it was something I was certain was obvious to anyone who would be around me after whatever it was that had happened to me: blast of light, lightening strike, rocket engines taking off, take your pick of what “that” thing was that happened on that fateful day that left you in deep mystery about what had happened.  Well it was kundalini, that’s what.  I was asked if this energy was obvious to others and it triggered an old memory I had those first few weeks after my awakening. And the answer is no.  Those not awake will not feel your energy.  Okay, mostly. Sometimes they can.  Alright, that didn’t sound very clear, did it?

Clearly, no one was feeling my energy. I literally thought that I had a giant neon sign over my head that first month after the energy raised.  I really felt exactly that way until I realized, no, no one was picking up on this!  What a relief!

Except that as time went on, I began to see clusters of curious behavior that suggested that some people, not everyone, was feeling something. I wasn’t sure at first, so I did what I always do: I sat back and observed to see if I could gather enough data on the subject that would inform me more one way or the other.  All of this took a while, it didn’t happen overnight.  So the answer here is that in some cases, yes, some people can.  Mostly, they don’t. Clear as mud?  Read on.

This is why it may be that you might want to be aware of this when or if someone starts acting weird around you.  It seems that there is a range of reactions in my experience.  It tends to be either a bliss response (or approaching that-say an unusual attraction or enthusiasm in your direction) or the opposite, which could present itself along the lines of anger, upset, frustration, and fear.  I am telling you this because it has been an observation of mine and it might help to clarify some odd instances of how some people will react to you.  I have had both.  I really wish that it was more nuanced, but in my experience it usually isn’t, at least for me.  People here are not mature enough to know how to deal with the energy that could catalyze their own flow of prana in themselves.  I am hopeful that this trend will change and I think that if it is going to change, now would be the time in our history that it would do so (fingers crossed).  To do this, I think that we need people who are more accepting and surrendered in their lives.

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In my garden…

I think that the best thing to always do is to remain neutral when it happens.  Someone is responding to something in you a certain way and my sense is that it can move them to extremes.  I now prefer to keep my bliss to myself and not have hitchikers or hijackers along for the ride. For those who act more peaceful and give me that look that tells me they are spellbound, I have to realize that they aren’t spellbound by me at all, they are actually responding to their own insides and how it makes them feel.  Yes, in some cases they may think it is coming form me, and in a sense they are right, but what they feel as a result of that actually has more to do with their own capacity to feel what they are capable of when it comes to a flow of prana and the bliss it can bring.  In short, when someone is feeling prana that might be attributed to me they are feeling it in their own world on their own.  It is like how we are all breathing the same air.  Is the air me? Is it you?  Well now perhaps you can see how silly it might be to think the air comes from someone like myself or anyone for that matter.

I will add one caveat to all of this, which is that you can project this energy to a person. The energy body is not limited to location, and this is why people can do reiki atunements, or why the power of prayer can make sudden changes in outcomes.  We can send energy to people, yes, it is true, but I don’t know that we really know everything there is to know about how this even works from an energy standpoint, we just knows that it can and does work. Are we sending energy or are we communicating with that person’s own higher self or energy body and they accept the idea that there is more energy available to them?  I say this in the way I do because it is like me bringing you a bucket of water that I just filled from a boundless ocean just fifty feet away from us.  Do you see what I mean by that? Am I actually sending energy or am I sending the suggestion that more energy could be available to them, and because they pick up on it, they do….and they do this based on my own thought of sending X amount of energy to them? And who knows, it could be a bit of both.  I really wish we were further along in our study of this energy than we are.  I suppose we could set up experiments to make some important determinations about how this all works. Okay, I know, you probably think I am just splitting hairs, here.  You might be right, but this is what I think about because I have always taken this attempt at being objective and asking lots of questions that maybe most don’t think to ask, but might be worth looking into if only for curiosities’ sake.

The best thing to my mind is to always bring it back to the person so they don’t focus on you as the source when these odd interactions happen.  There are gentle ways that you can do this and it all has to do with intention.  If they can feel the vibe then they can also pick up, perhaps subconsciously, your intention which might be that while you might inspire the energy, the energy is theirs.  If there is a conversation, keep bringing the talk back to how great it is that they are feeling what they feel and how it is something that they are doing and how great is that?  I have had people ask me if I was doing something to them.  I said each time that no, I was not doing something to them.  Instead, I would say, I was just serving as inspiration, nothing more.  I think this is correct and also keeps everything appropriate.  People can get hung up on the small truth and not be able to see the bigger truth that is looming.

I went through a period, a very definite one, where I was literally turning heads.  This started to happen when I was myself at peace with the energy flowing through me.  I just let it flow and didn’t worry about it. As a result, I felt so much better.  It was a breakthrough for me, actually.  I was able to embrace the inherent sensuality of the experience without feeling like I needed to tamp it down or feel shame about it. Its odd to think that I once felt shame about something so incredible, but I did.  But once that was being released,  and this happened quite suddenly in my life, I noticed how all of a sudden I would have these really quite comical things happen to me with the people around me.  It was the double-take or the rubberneck effect as I think of it. Maybe you have experienced this.  I might be walking down the street or driving in my car and I would see these people craning their necks to look at me.  In many cases these were people looking in my general direction with a look like they were trying to find something.  I had many instances where a woman would walk past me and would turn on her heel to scan the street in my direction as soon as she passed me, with a looks like she was trying to find something but had no idea what it was she as looking for, only to give up and keep walking. It was worth a giggle or two, yes.  I knew it wasn’t me, it was the energy.  If it had only happened once or twice it would not have meant much to me, but it was happening multiple times a day during a particular period in my process.

I have also experienced the dark side of what this energy can do to people.  I knew two people who quite literally wanted to destroy me because of it.  Both behaved nearly identically and instead of being able to part as friends, they had to demonize me just to move forward.  I also saw that as I removed blocked energy one ex would go into fits of rage within a 12 hour period of each block that I removed.  I have written about this before on the blog.  I counted nine times in a row where I had released blocked material and the person I was with would go into this rage meltdown each time within about a 12 hour period each and every time.  It continued to happen, but nine times in a row was enough for me to make a causal connection to what was happening.  There was NOTHING that I did to cause the person to go into a rage meltdown.  It was always something that she had somehow procured within herself as the source of the problem.  You just never knew who she was going to focus her rage at at any given time.  So there is that.  Usually in these cases, in my experience, there is always some kind of resistance in the person that precludes them from embracing whatever this seemingly disruptive energy means for them on a personal level.

People who are resistant to change will tend I think (just my own opinion thus far) to go into the negative range of expression or reaction.  Either you realize this and seek to engender a more compassionate understanding and patient approach with encouragement, or you just leave well enough alone.  In my case, I knew that nothing I could do would amount to any substantive change in their reaction.  And it is just that-a reaction-so don’t beat yourself up about it. It really isn’t about you.  It is very easy to hop on their karmic merry-go-round and then get caught up in their own pattern, which can be very hard for you.  It is sometimes better to leave well enough alone.

Those are my two cents on the matter. I think that if you yourself go in the direction of using it to your advantage, this will only result in bad karma, so please don’t do that.  Let it be what it is, a sign, an indication, but nothing more.

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There is another instance where your own energy is affecting another person and this is what I would call the twin experience.  Some call it twin flames or twin souls or rays, take your pick. In this case, two people have become effectively entangled in their soul energy where a significant degree of telepathy is involved. These in my experience have always been karmic in nature even though those who have been so affected will hold out for this being something divine. While it leads to our divinity, it is a connection to the soul-self which operates under a very different sort of premise than the self in time and space (in this lifetime).  As a result, there is an overpowering draw to that person that goes beyond mere location and transcends the physical senses. It feels significant, and it is, but it is what happens when two people become connected, and it is always because of karma.  If anyone can illustrate situations where there is no karma whatsoever in one of these connections, I would like to learn more about that case because I have yet to see an instance where karma is not involved as the trigger into the experience.  It isn’t that I am narrow minded, it is that I have looked and observed and experienced this phenomenon and at no point have I found a compelling reason to say that this is a horse of a different color beyond karma being one important element in kicking off the connection.  So I am open to having my mind changed, I just haven’t seen it happen yet.

These are unusual instances and are unique to the two people involved, although there are many cases where once someone has had one connection, they may wind up with another, or several.  Again, all have karmic material at its foundation. That isn’t to say it is bad, not at all.  It does present challenges, though, very real ones, and you should be aware of this.  It can lead to loving their soul but having real challenges that are nearly diametrically opposed to that soul which feels perfect to you about who that person is in their present life. This leads to a conundrum for people in relationships like this.  It is, to my mind, a call to learning how to step into the soul-self in a more embodied and authentic way.  This takes real work to do and it can take a lot of time and requires a lot of patience.  The soul, though, will always seem beyond your reach in this lifetime for the simple reason that it does not exist in time, but rather projects parts of itself into time in order to become flesh.  In so doing, there is a new version of the soul created with a personality and a body, all of which were chosen in order to hopefully achieve certain specific goals. The soul does not appear to have any of this. It just IS.  I suspect this is why we reincarnate in the first place, which is to work through things that the soul cannot in its no-time-space state.  There is a song that says, “In heaven, nothing ever happens at all…” and there is a certain truth to this.  How do you have things happen when there is no time or space?  Where is there to go when you can be aware of being potentially everywhere and everywhen?  It seems the soul needs these projections in order to focus itself more narrowly, to take on roles, conditions, and the mask of personality in order to work through certain dramas central to its needs and concerns, whatever those might be.

Those are my two cents on the phenomenon, and it isn’t to strip it of its meaning or importance, only to leaven it with what I think is an important ingredient so that we don’t have a blindside to some important aspects of the experience.  There might just be a very real reason why you react and respond to the Other the way that you do especially when it is a negative reaction.  That bit of resistance that you are feeling is pointing out  the work you need to do most likely. I think this is the only way these unions will ever see a significant level of peace within them, which is to say they could be a call to change, real substantive change.  Otherwise, you will be caught up in the maelstrom of your own triggers, all karmic in their foundation, and it is possible you will be something like those people I discuss earlier who would go into melt-down after melt-down.  If you have had an experience along these lines, I am all ears (and eyes).  I am open to learning more, so if you have something to add, I would love to hear about it.

Blessings, P.

At a certain point in my own process of shedding blocked energy in the wake of a kundalini awakening, I became many times more aware and sensitive to my own energy. As a result of the clearing work, I realized that the body, every square inch of it, has chakras. Not just seven, there were thousands. I had never heard of such a thing, but reading later confirmed this.

I saw that this energy system extended to every corner of the body in much the same way that the nervous system is established at the most minute scales in the physical system. I saw how energy lines would cross, creating a thicker line of energy, and that a line would cross another line in a series of branches until all lines seemed to be connected by way of a central trunk. This looked like a tree of life. I realized that this system was responsible for what we call chakras, which are vortices of energy that are produced when at least two lines of energy come together. In the case of the trunk of the system, many lines merged to create powerful effects. This is where the seven major chakras are located. Everyone knows about those, but not about the thousands and thousands of chakras all through the body.

What kept me interested were the chakras no one seems to mention, which are the chakras in the arms and legs. Why doesn’t anyone talk about those?

These areas deserve attention if for no other reason that the energy that gets stuck there is the hardest to remove (at least this has been my experience). Not only this, but the type of energies that become lodged there are also the ones that can hold us back the most.

It would make sense that more awareness about these chakras is in order. To that end, I have blogged on this topic numerous times already. You can search my blog using “leg chakras” to learn more. I have named them and the paricular emotional vibrations they correspond to. I’ll put up a few direct links about those older posts since this topic is so popular.

Moving energy in the legs is no different than how energy is moved in any other part of the body with the one exception that the force in the legs seems lower to me than in the trunk of the body. It is the intensity or force of the energy that is so useful in releasing or clearing blocked energy. I will tell you that the hardest energy to move has been in my legs.

A Curious Event

Last night as I settled down to sleep, I slipped under the comforter and instantly felt the energy in my legs seem to come alive. This thing about this, I knew, was that my awareness was what was coming alive, not the energy. The energy had always been there. Something about last night was different. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but something was different.

As I lay there, I experienced what I call “shimmer” which is a word I use to describe a pulsation of energy in my body. This shimmer effect was happening at about five pulses per second in my legs last night. This pulsation moved all through my legs and it gives me the feeling as though I have come alive in some novel way. This was located in my legs only. I call it shimmer because it has the effect of a physical compliment to how a visual effect might feel like if it was moving through your body. As one pulse emerges, there seems to be the tail end of the last pulse leaving. In a way, it could be also a little like an echo, with multiple pulses happening each second, some pulses feel as though they could be echos of later pulses (even though they aren’t). I was very pleased with myself and was happy to be experiencing this.

I began trying to approximate the cycles of pulsations. With my phone on the charger and in another room, I didn’t want to get up to try to use the stopwatch in order to count the exact number of main pulses per second so I tried to “guestimate” it. As I put my attention there, there came a sweeping type of movement of the energy, moving from one end of my legs to another. This was so enjoyable, lovely, and as the energy continued, it turned into bliss. I kept counting the pulses until I felt relatively certain they were in the 4-6 per second range.

I wondered how this might relate to ELF waves, which are waves of energy human energy operates at (this stands for Extra Low Frequency). For the moment, it was good enough to map it in this way. It could change over time, s this could be a moving target of sorts. Time would tell.

All of this was happening as if my energy system was on automatic. Nothing I did seemed to make any change in it. As I lay there my inner guidance nudged me to place my hands on my legs. I had noticed that there was a strong pulse coming from an accupuncture point just above the right knee, about 4 inches from the knee on my thigh, so I centered on that point to see what might happen. This point can be seen on the meridian chart above, which was LV-9. At the time, I wasn’t familiar with this point as I was with the one lower down on the leg.

All pulsations changed….immediately. I heard a voice in my head explaining how it changes when another part of the body and its electrical system gets placed in proximity to it. It had the effect of having been grounded out, although I can’t say that this is an accurate description. Perhaps some energy was being re-routed? Accupuncture can sometimes reroute blocked energy through metal needles that conduct electricity so that energy flows with the hope this is enough to clear the center of the blocked energy.

I then took my index finger and traced from the meridian point up my leg into my right hip and up into the liver meridian to try and move the energy. This was a technique I was shown in a dream years ago about how to move energy in a body. I could feel a sense of something being drawn upwards. This was very subtle, and no other results were noticed after having done this. I wouldn’t say this resulted in a large release of any kind, but something moved. That is, nothing moved at that time or in that particular interval of time. Something interesting was about to happen that was surprising, though. Sometimes a “nothing” winds up as something.

The shimmer effect or the cycling had changed after this, and as I lay there I returned to the point above my right knee that had been pulsing earlier. As I thought about it I was being told how this point in my right knee had an energetic relationship to jealousy. This was odd because the point normally associated with jealousy was much closer to the knee, the inside knee point as a matter of fact. Instead of resisting, I asked how this was so.

Almost immediately I was shown the person that this block was associated with. I was having a memory of being dressed down and berated by this woman in a parking lot years ago for having called a cashier in the market by her first name (this is something I do-its part of who I am which is letting people who work these menial jobs know that I appreciate what they do). This woman kept yelling at me, trying to create this sense that I had somehow done something wrong, a terrible transgression. Even though I knew there was nothing for me to get upset about in that moment, it was upsetting for other reasons, most notably that she obviously didn’t understand me very well. Still, connected as it was to her being over the top jealous must have been why the block happened where it did. This is very interesting, because it wasn’t me who had stuck energy related to jealousy, it was the other person and yet I had stuck energy from this emotional attack just above the knee area regarless. It was my stuck energy, but was based in my reaction to another person “losing their shit.” I think this is interesting to learn. Jealousy is described as being locked into the knee region under the Indian chakra system (different yet similar to the Chinese meridian system).

As I lay there, it seemed like something was beginning to clear. This was an unexpected outcome. My guidance said to imagine placing my hand over this person’s heart and feel the energy return, flowing back to this person and to the universe. Normally energy of this kind only needs to be dropped, but I suspect the nature of how the block happened had to do with this urging on my part to give it back, so to speak. I suspect this only served to keep my mind clear and focused on how this block was created (not like there is any magic to any of this beyond my mind being made clearer about where this emrged). Quite unexpectedly there was this moment of feeling this person right across from me. I remained calm and did as instructed. She seemed to be laying facing away from me, which was good for me and I directed the energy and felt the energy return or flow out of me.

After this I fell into a deep sleep brought on by a fuller flow if prana. You know the feeling you have after having a great massage? It’s as if you can’t focus with the rational mind and you just float off into deep sleep. That was me.

I awoke suddenly in the middle of the night to find that this person had been in a dream, but when I fully woke up, she was still there. She said she had left but came back and began making a statement that sounded like an odd excuse for being there. What she said suggested to me that there was a less than honest statement being put forward. As she spoke I could hear an entirely different dialog in my head of what she really was thinking . You could say this was what she really meant. As she kept talking and I kept hearing how her words did not match her thoughts or feelings, I began to tell her what was the truth and then said, “You really need to be more honest with yourself if you ever hope to heal from your issues..” I then turned over and went to sleep. At first I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep because I had been asleep for a few hours already. Surprisingly, I was able to drop back into deep sleep again.

Upon awakening, I found I was aware that my right leg felt different. I also had crazy bliss moving through my body. It continues unabated since the experience, which is a very nice outcome.

I think I will try to focus my attention on my legs each night to see what happens. If I continue to feel the energy so clearly then perhaps it will be an avenue for working through the energy system of the legs. To be clear, I never really know when something like this is going to come along. It certainly isn’t something that is deepky rooted in intention or expectation, but seems as though it works on its own time-table. Why I would quite suddenly be thrust into working on my leg chakras, I can’t say. Maybe it is a ripening process. Maybe this simpky had to reach some stage of maturation before it would emerge in my conscious awareness? Being calm, quiet, and reflective seems to have been an important factor in tapping into the state necessary to be aware of this issue enough to be guided properly. I know for some of you, this may seem obvious, but it may not be for others. Learning to feel your energy is important.

Twelve years in and I have had enough water under the bridge to see how all the work I spent clearing away the dross has impacted my life.

I can say that for as challenging the early stages can be, sticking with it has its benefits. Awakening led me to an undeniable awareness that I had made many compromises in my earlier life that came back to bite me once I could no longer live the old way. Not living the old way simply no longer was tenable once awakening came. This wasn’t just caprice, a desire to be different, but was itself a fundamental return to a basic ground state that had become, to some degree, self-evident.

What was interesting to me as awakening got underway was that the mere presence of awakening in me was showing every sign of affecting those in my life who didn’t align to the presence of my own truth. I thought this curious effect was my imagination at first, but as awakening proceeded it was clear that as I released old karmic material, it served to unsettle others who did not fit this truth, what the Polynesians call “Pono” which means correct alignment.

I should explain that this was not merely the result of my behaving differently in front of others, but that there were deeper subconscious reactions taking place around me that were tied to my own inner work. I have described in previous posts how my then-spouse would go into emotional meltdowns as I privately released inner blockages in my own field of awareness, a reaction that I was able to see was causally tied to what I had been doing just the day before. I observed nine times in a row that this took place over a three month period, each resulting in her going into a temporal meltdown each time. These events continued beyond the nine, but I stopped counting after nine times because I felt I had already met the burden of proof for myself at that point.

This was the crazy world of my awakening, an awareness of this underlying truth of what we all are that began to emerge even though I was living in a toxic environment that favored slumber and dysfunction of those around me. To see how they sought to demonize it (awakening) and me, I saw graphically just how off they were. I was able to see how deception and dishonesty was raised in order to attempt to keep the old regime up and running. It was sad back then, and hard to take because I was the butt of these efforts at keeping the lid on a poisonous can of worms. This helped me to see how buried we can all be in beliefs that limit us all. I would lose an important reationship with a child who was swept up in this web of deceit. It sound so cloak and dagger saying it this way, but it was just as if a child’s mind had been swept up in a net of belief: all-encompassing, and enclosing on all sides with untruths an gaslighting. My eyes were opened wide to how humans do business here.

After a serious injury the same year that awakening came, I was unable to work and the economic debacle of 2008 the following year made clear that this was a major turning point in many ways for me. Like it or not, I was being put into an environment where my eyes would be opened more and more by having time to myself to reflect on my life. If you knew me pre-awakening, you knew someone who worked long hours trying to grow his business who had his head buried in the sand. With my seventy-hour work week suddenly behind me, I had to see what was now clearly in front of me.

In a psychic reading many years later, this time period was described as my being made into a sacrificial lamb. This characterization seemed odd at first, but as I reflected on what this reader had told me, it made a lot of sense in the end. This is what we ALL do when someone presents us with a view of truth we are not ready to face: we dismiss and sometimes even demonize it. We literally begin to project the falsehoods of our own inner deceits on others as if they belong to those people. It’s so strange how we do this, isn’t it?

I was to focus on awakening. I did. I was able, in the end, to spend time on it alone. Life made it happen. While things might have seemed dire to others, I had this feeling like everything was going to be alright. That was one of the most important time periods in my life. My time in the wilderness.

I was able to see that the life I thought I had didn’t fully conform to reality. I was blinded by hope instead of illuminated by clear seeing. I spent easily a year free from the life I thought I had to reflect and absorb what was happening to me. I wish everyone could do this, just take off a year and meditate, commune with nature, and be with people of like mind.

Like clockwork, whenever something was needed, the universe provided. When I thought about finding work someone I didn’t know contacted me about a job that was perfect for me. I landed the job and it helped me to develop my teaching skills, an important step in the next phase of my work. But before that, I had been carefully cared for even though it didn’t seem that way to others. It allowed me an unprecedented gaze into the mysteries of this phenomenon that is awakening and how it was slowly but surely taking me apart and putting me back together again.

I learned that those to whom I was connected were not really able to see me for who I was despite the innextricable deep soul ties that we had. I saw that what probibited this clear knowing was always their own inner baggage. I myself also had my own baggage, and awakening, while clearing me of it, did not clear all of it in one magical twinkling, but was instead a process. Storms of energy would sweep through, and each time less and less remained. More peace took its place each time, but this was gradual. It was fast by any other standard, but still it was a process. I was able to see how someone so close to me could know so little while inserting so much into the narrative that didn’t belong. We see not what is there, but rather by way of our own inner dialogues which we take as the truth. Say this to anyone when it seems to matter and they think you are mad.

I learned that when people aren’t ready to face truth, they will project. It does no good to point out the truth. People are only ready when they are ready.

The mere presence of connection does not mean that there is a purpose or destiny in it, only that there is something in me that is not fully resolved at a karmic level, and that these karmic entanglements are at the heart of the soul connection phenomenon…the twin flame or whatever your term dejour is for it.

Awakening plus karma is a combination that makes it possible to feel and see the other’s soul. The soul, unimited, perfect, standing outside of time can feel like it can be almost anything to the earthly man or woman because it already is. This leads to a deep “fall” into love that feels cosmic, destined, and more intens than anything you could ever dare imagine. In fact, this mixture is so strong it can lead a person (like me) to fall deeply in love with someone I wouldn’t normally be attracted to. People wrongly assume that bliss only serves lofty divine things. It is lofty because it does not divide or judge, but offers itself to all.

In one case for me, a connection was forced. You might think there is no way this could happen, but it absolutely did. It was true that I had known this person before this forced coupling took place and I had no underlying fascination with this person previous to this event. How this went down showed me that a soul connection is not destiny but in fact can be manufactured when the right ingredients are present. It is made all the stronger by a preponderance of karma that can be passed to the other person in this entangling of twinning process.

While others get lost in the foreverness of these connections, I saw that it instead was simply a mechanism for unlocking soul potential and that this had little to do with destiny at all. I know this throws cold water on the entire topic, but I can say if it happened to me, I am not merely an anomoly. In fact, I found an entire community of people who suspected that this phenomenon was not all as it seemed. They attributed the phenomenon to an outside agency or force that had less than perfect intentions. I don’t agree with their take on the phenomenon either, since I see as many holes in the argument as there are in other “twin” descriptions out there today. I think I fall into a middle way that states that the universe is neutral. Our actions serve to form our destiny, which is also to say that each of us can change what lies before us.

Entanglement (“twinning”) is a phenomenon that can occur when all the right set of requirements are met. The universe does not care if the ingredients are positive or negative, only that they are present. If so, an entanglement can take place. The ingredients that are used determine the intensity of the entanglement. The ingredients can be our own innability to see the truth and thus whatever that karma represents in specific feeds into the entanglement. The problem, though, is you can have a direct line to a person’s soul while the personality is itself extremely polarized from the higher self to the point where earthly self and higher self bear little resemblance to one another. This happened to me.

My experience was with someone who resisted her transformation instead of embracing it to the degree that she could have. Still, awakening is difficult for all of us and we do what we can do. All of this opened my eyes to show me that even those who awaken can languish for years in the remaining karmic tangles they have set for themselves. I no longer needed to be their helper or savior. I also didn’t need any more deceit in my life, how one needs to make lies to cover their own unhealed condition. In fact, I was much better off alone instead of marinating in a desire to quell lonliness.

I found that true love arises out of aloneness, in owning our solitary state while seeing how everything is simultaneously wedded together even at the subatomic level. It is the higher levels in us that need the work, not the more fundamental ones.

By seeing how this person tried to blame her troubles on the world and me, I got a clear view on the depth of inner deception we can build around ourselves, even as we awaken. I had in my own way done similar things a few years before, but now I was rushing the exits. I had a little more perspective by this time.

I had been, for my part, unsettled by a lot that went down during awakening, unsure that I’d ever get back to my business again. Clearly, awakening could not be bothered about what I wanted. I was going to take this time to slow down whether I liked it or not. This resulted in my reaching states where I could tap into streams of pure information that I was able to use to further my development. These states came as blissful epiphanies where it was like I was being attended to by a cosmic librarian who would show me to books that would teach me about a host of subjects I knew litle about. In some cases, this “librarian” would push me in certain directions. Sitting by a river on rocks, my mind flipped through the pages of a world of living information existing as energy and described by the Hindus as the akashic records. Edgar Cayce had said he used these to perform his readings. Curiously, the way he described how he achieved this was exactly how I found myself accessing them. This techique is so simple, most don’t seem able to use them perhaps because it hasn’t occurred to them. I’m happy to convey this method, but it isn’t in the compass of this post.

In one instance, I was shown how matter is created from energy. This helped me to see how two complimentary energies served to form physical reality. The bottom line, the lesson, was that the universe was not just alive, but that it was based in play and bliss. It showed that creation is a cooperative unifying event that happens inside of us along the line of the Ida and Pengal currents and that we can also create in groups a well as with a singular other.

I was shown the role that the three brains have in learning how to utilize awakening to its best effect. These brains, the light explained or showed me, were the reptile, mammal, and primate brain all present in us as beings on the planet. It explained that no part of this system could be ignored, and explained how best to use each part of the brain in order to realize the best process. Denying their presence was a disastrous way to go, it explained, and it showed how to balance thought and feeling across them in order to harness them in what could be a new synthesis of consciousness where there is less fragmentated behavior. All parts had to present. The brain had a way to mirror higher order consciousness by kowing how to use what gifts we were bestowed with.

I was shown in another epiphany moment how the energy body and the neurophysiology are in some ways mirrors of each other. I was shown the role that the “zero point” energetically has with the way that the brain and body are arranged in order to mirror a very similar principle in brain wiring or mapping.

I am pointing these things out in order to illustrate how fleshed out all of this information was and that all I needed to tap it was a deep open bliss state coupled with a focus or desire to know more even though I knew little on the topic. I mention this because you can do it also. This was what a psychic who did a reading on me described as my ability to speak from the master realm. If I can do it, you can too, but it requires an ability to keep your mind a total blank slate or else you will fill it with information that does not belong. You have to constantly feel as though you are empty and constantly grasping for the material. You always do this blindly, always unassuming but excited in the heart that soon, its life/information will fill you. There is no determining or chewing or digesting in process as far as trying to determine what it all means as it is coming, you just soak it up first, then roll it around in your head later. No expectation of any outcome. This got easier the more I could trust the process.

In retrospect, I wouldn’t have changed anything. For years I lost my creative groove. I lost confidence and then discovered how easy it is to do that when surrounding yourself with toxic people. I had been using my creativity as a way to gain approval. Yuck! It all crashed and burned and was ressurected to what it is today, which sems to be much healthier and much more stable and dependent on no one’s say-so. It was me handing my power to another. Shame on me.

Now, over a decade later, I have recreated my lines of work in my business. I literally have all new work including the old standby’s. I am utilizing the internet for marketing, building community, and growing my business. This is a third incarnation of my business, first on a retail model, then wholesale, and now using the internet to do both. The thing is, it’s working. The steps are modest but each one is a step forward instead of backward. I have as many new designs created as designs that I had originally before all this happened.

For me now, I am using this new alignment of purpose less tangled from past karmic issues to help to manifest in a whole new way. While a yogi or yogini often would go on retreat, but we often do not have such luxuries. That said, I think that it would be brilliant if we had a Western inspired retreat facility where those awakened might attend to their new state with the right kind of support that such a state deserves.

~Parker

Included at the top of this blog is the next interview with Cynthia. I hope you find it helpful in your journey to remembering what you are.

Each interview has been given their own page so that they remain front and center on the page, making them easy to find. My thanks to Cynthia for taking the time to provide this resource for others.

These interviews are with people who have had what is commonly called an awakening, or an awakened kundalini. So far, everyone interviewed has been hip deep in the experience for a handful of years. That isn’t to suggest in any way that those new to this aren’t as informed. I know for myself, I am grateful to have kept a journal my first few years (I thought it would help me keep up and maybe figure it out–ha!) because it has helped me to remember just how the early experiences were like. For perspective maybe.

If you would like to add your voice to this growing body of information, I welcome your participation. I do this just to do my part to help others. You can email me and I will forward the questions to you. Sometimes I will ask follow up questions that I think may be relevant or to try and clarify some points for readers. In some cases, I am curious to know more.

Info@staffordartglass.com

Blessings,

~Parker

We all are familiar with the seven major chakras that are situated along the torso of our bodies, but would it interest you to know that there are many thousands of minor chakras all through the body?

The ancients knew, who developed their understanding of the subtle energy system known by the Chinese as the meridians and naddi by the Indians, that this system carried chi or prana. This subtle energy system also had the ability to record or contain emotional energy that would then serve to effect the proper flow of the subtle energy. This is the energy of both life and consciousness. Releasing this blocked energy helps to make for a more peaceful and authentic life (more naturally enjoyable).

In the Indian system, one worked to clear this material as a precursor to raising kundalini. Doing so, they contend, makes awakening the kundalini, our hidden energetic potential, a less chaotic an affair. As Westerners, though, we tend not to have these practices available to us, so we often have to go about it differently. Lucky for us, kundalini will help clear the stuck, knotted, or blocked energy (albeit in a more intense fashion for a time).

Most often when we speak of chakras we think of the major seven, but as I have pointed out here before, there are many others. The energy we call prana is itself conscious. The more that we tune that in, the more we can be enriched by its limitless knowledge and potential.

The swami’s of India teach about knowledge that does not come from the senses but comes through ones consciousness, which is itself a sensing means for the knowing that can come from “tuning in.” It makes sense, then, that clearing away the detritus within can help you to see and feel more clearly. As Westerners, we are catching on a bit late, but we are catching on.

I have known people who were unable to do this clearing work. Their minds are clouded by the material that masks their inner perception. I can say being with these folks is challenging because they cannot see what is truly there and they feed off perceptions colored by their innermost emotional baggage. Do you want to be that person? Many teachers point to this as an absolute necessity to do asap. I concur. It takes time and patience, but you also have all the time in the world.

What you do today stays with you as an indelible accomplishment. Plus, what you do not finish now can be picked up in your next life. If my experience is any guide, you will pick this work up again in another body and what you release now wont be there when you pick it up again (hint: this work is too important to the soul not to continue with!). If you begin and develop a strong enough interest, it will carry through. Plus, you may be reading this because an earlier version of you in time was involved in a similar pursuit.

I have noticed a keen interest taken in the posts I have done on leg chakras previously. We have them, but little is said about them. Because of how little they are covered, not much is known in a popular way about them. You can find several posts on this subject by using the search bar and it will take you to those.

In one post, I describe each chakra in the legs and what energies in consciousness that they align with. This post is for people who are used to meditation and are able to sit quitly enough to begin to feel into their energy that we call prana or chi.

I will point out for those interested that the points in the legs where energy can get stuck can often be effectively released by a good body worker or massage therapist very often. This is done by way of deep tissue massage along with the practitioner who can sense of feel where the stuck energy is. I have found some very accomplished energy workers in this field. There are othee methods such as Chi Kung (also spelled Gung), acupressure and acupuncture.

Not long ago I described a healing meditation that could be used to arouse prana for helping to heal blocked energy through a simple position of the hands together. You could say that the hands help to enrich and activate prana in the body when you can wuiet your mind and place your focus only on your hands (no “doing”).

In the meditation which I refer to as a foot “mudra” it is possible to begin to tap into the awareness that you have of the energies that flow through the legs along with the energetics of consciousness that reside there in feeling.

There is something that happens at the subtle level when we bring hands or fingers together from each side of the body. The existence of mudras acknowledges this. What happens when you bring your hands together like this on an energetic level is you are joining the energies, in part, of the whole field of your energy body in the upper torso part of the field. We call this Ida and Pengali, the masculine and feminine. While there is a large channel of these two running up the torso alongside the central channel called the shushuma, there are channels in the arms and legs that also have these lines or channels in them (because consciousness exists as a result of the union of these seeming opposites in ourselves, even at the level of the energy, which merge moment by moment to generate all phenomenon).

When we place thumb and index finger on one hand together in a mudra position, what happens is we are joining the circuitry from different parts of the energy body in that region together. If you can dial up your sensitivity to feeling your energy, you can feel a subtle difference energetically and in consciousness between thumb and index finger touching than, say, your thumb and middle finger. For those who try this and don’t feel anything, my suggestion is that you need to try tuning in more. Get quiet. Let your thoughts quiet down. Feel your energy. You may only feel the edge of something at first, but given optimal conditions of introspective curiosity and a receptive openess to feeling your own energy, you can tune this in like a faraway radio signal more and more. You accomplish this less by trying and more by allowing, letting down those noisy barriers you didn’t even realize you had. I know this is supposed to be about the feet, so here we go.

If you want to try this “mudra” as I call it, simply sit with feet uncovered and place them together. You might want to calm down and center yourself by performing some breathwork which is well suited for this. I have always found breathing like how we breathe when we are asleep to be highly effective because it signals to the body that you are relaxed. It is a great trick.

Slow steady breath in, hold it for a two or three count, and let it go in a slow steady exhale. Pause at the bottom for a second or two, and repeat a number of times. You will find yourself feeling much calmer in no time. You can keep a slow gentle breath throughout this exercise, and how long you do this is up to you.

There is nothing gained in feeling uncomfortable. I know some yoga practices teach you to deal with feeling uncomfortable in the hopes of your being able to stay in a given position for long periods, but my experience has shown me that you will be much more succesful if you can adopt a posture that you will remain comfortable in so discomfort doesn’t even enter in. There is nothing honorable in feeling physical discomfort. When prana flows at a high enough level, you will experience supreme bliss. This is what all methods are there for. There is no reason to climb a mountain in boots that make you feel like you are slipping and falling. The point is reaching this beautiful place as efficiently as possible. So be comfortable because you will want to keep at it more. When you realize that cosmic consciousness is for all of us as an aspect of what we are, you might begin to appreciate how we are all the same deep down. We are each like glasses filked with water. Qualitatively, what is the difference between the water in your glass and the water in the ocean?? The only difference is in quantity. You are a bit of the cosmic. All water knows itself and the drop knows it is also the ocean. It is a beautiful thing and it waits for when you are ready. This work can help you along the way…

I have done this posture before and I have had others who are like me in terms of their awareness of their energy in their bodies, and the results have been interesting when I have asked them to take this position. I discovered this position in meditation when my inner voice told me to place my feet together.

So sit like this, quiet mind, letting thoughts coming and going without getting hooked on any one thought, and feel your energy. Just feel. Feet together, breathe to calm your mind and body. Don’t try to do anything or force anything in your mind. This is all about checking in a little more deeply than you are used to. By not trying to make this into anything, see if any sort of impressions begin to arise without your trying to turn them into anything. Don’t judge, just observe. You can keep your breath gentle, deep and slow, if you want.

Take note of what you feel or what seems to express in your mind. You are just a reporter here, so you can take this time for yourself to simply observe.

In work like this it is sometimes possible to encounter the effects of blocked energy. You could feel the edge of an emotion that might get stronger, but let it come and don’t feel like you have to break through anything. Let them be like air bubbles that float up to the surface. Try not to react negatively to what you feel or may seem to feel; your emotions are like thoughts. Thoughts are the result of your reaction to something, but it may not be the whole story, so do your best not to get hung up on what you feel or see. Often just being aware can cause them to dislodge and rise.

I think of the legs as aligning to our most problematic emotions, but also to the simpler and more primal ones. They can be expressed in a positive or negative polarity and any energy stuck down there might be pretty hard, but this is why I am telling you to be as neutral as you can be. I think it is fair to say that many people have a hard time bringing the light of their awareness to this region both in their bodies and their consciousness because of this. Bear in mind that anything troublesome that you might feel is only energy which has gotten stuck in a negative polarity. That same energy is waiting to be turned to its positive pole through a simple act of forgiving yourself for whatever that energy represents. It is easy to turn hard into soft if you remain detached and keep your wits about you. On the other hand, you should always consider your comfort zone and know when enough is enough. That said, with each exploration, you can gently push the envelope bit by bit so that in time you make progress through this deep dive into yourself.

For those already familiar with energy and who may have awakened kundalini, it may be that this work may feel intense. I found myself wanting to turn away from what I felt the deeper I went, but I also found that by simply bringing the light of my awareness to this place that I shook things up, like how a spade turns old hard earth. Each exploration was a benefit.

I have also performed this posture with hands clasped together at the same time, which is akin to turning all currents, save the crown and root, into themselves. Since there isn’t a lot that seems to be taught on this position (one form of yoga expressly states not to use this bound foot position while others do), I would be interested in whatever it is that you find yourself experiencing.

There you go. I hope that this adds another wrinkle that you can try discovering. If you try it let me know what you think. If you liked this post, let me know by hitting the like button. I’m never sure if the things I find interesting get through the same way with others, so it’s helpful to get feedback.

~Blessings~

P.

My awakening came gradually. It came in somewhat measured steps. The first step clearly opened me to a strong flow of prana and my first experience of nonduality. Then, over five months, I began having innexplicable events occurring that led me deeper. A friend loaned me a hemisync cd for clearing emotional baggage. Another gave me a meditation technique I have detailed in the last post.

A Voice spoke in my mind telling me to close my eyes and focus on the center of my brow. Complying, I awakened my third eye, a process that expanded over several days once I focused my attention there and saw the fiery brightly lit eye emerge into my field of vision. Then I was taught or tutored in how to alter my consciousness to take advantage of the wave-form part of our consciousness, the part we call the feminine, the Shakti, the right brain and left side of the body. Everything was unfolding, gradually, carefully, as if by some plan. I wrote about it to close friends. I had no idea what it was leading to.

I had several events that all directed me along a path to awakening in a way that left me the last to know what all of these things were adding up to. Clearly, a higher intelligence was involved. This is not to say everyone must awaken the way I did. What is clear to me, because of my own experience, that at the base of awakening is an effort to break through a logjam of trapped energy to liberate or open a hole within us that will let the water of life stream in. First a trickle (for me), and growing stronger each day, each week, until my body was conditioned enough so the full rising event could come. A breaking through this logjam.

One of the events that took place in October of 2006 was a day-long acceleration of prana, which was a preview of what kundalini would bring. I had a vivid vision-a certainty in inner vision and through intensely felt feelings-about how all life feels prana or life force in the same way when it is felt abundantly (which is all kundalini really is—unusually high levels of pranic flow).

Getting ready to go home, this information nagged and pulled at me until I put it down on my computer starting at 7:30 pm and finishing at 7:34 pm (I had no idea why I should note the start and ending time but I did…now try and type what I typed in under four minutes).

This writing spoke of prana and how it was affecting both my body and mind. After writing this, I would find myself experiencing an odd synchronicity involving my finding the only magazine on a rack full of popular magazines whose content was uninteresting to me except one magazine I had to hunt for around a corner, blocked by a card rack placed in front of it. Without anything on its outside to suggest its contents, I would find that it had an article that read in bold: “When it comes to seeds, it’s all about sex.” Here is the piece I wrote to try and get that stuff out of my head, a first brush with a powerful burst of prana.


The Yearning

The fields are wet from rain after the corn has been harvested. Trees slowly turn from green to yellow, then gold. The air cools and the mind thinks back on days when life was brimming over and the air was thick with the smell of pollen. The same corn, now nothing but stubble, stood gold and green with tassels swaying with the breeze, releasing its sweet nutty smell. To some it was just a delightful thing that marks the passage of seasons. To me, its more than that. It speaks of life seeking its own, making itself over; a new generation. A yearning, a leaning toward the wind in the hopes that Nature will take care of Nature, and carry its life giving sweetness on the air to waiting seeds, waiting for that breath of life, that germ of passion that makes the flowers grow, and makes life turn ‘round once more in the endless cycles this world is known for.

Seeds and plants and pollen, all lean into passion in ways we can scarcely imagine. For this is the glue that keeps life going. For them, it must be pleasurable, a passionate act of giving, a release, an immersion into a mystery far older than our own known seasons, our own individual lives and experiences. For this is the gravity that pulls them, moves them to continue. How can it be any other? Why then would life seek to replace itself through an act as perfunctory as the dropping of an apple from a tree? No, the drop of the apple is not perfunctory, or a second thought, but part of a yearning to become, a part of merging with some larger dance. If trees can’t feel this, then why continue? Why go on? Perhaps in measures we can only guess or imagine, there is some divine spark of wantonness, of passion and pleasure bound up within their shells of being. How can it be any other? Perhaps there is a secret life these rooted beings feel that is beyond our ken, beyond our too quickened ways. We have been “beyond” these beings for so long that they are now “just plants.” And yet, they are more. They will speak if only you will listen, and they yearn to tell of this ancient dance, this incredible desire and passion bound up within every cell of their being, so it pays if you will only listen.

I know that seeds seek and yearn and hope and dream; dreams perhaps that are so different I could never scarcely imagine or see them for what they are. And yet, it seems inescapable that these creatures, ancient as all of life here, yearn for the touch of pollen upon their seed pods and enclosures, waiting patiently for the bee to carry their spawn beyond them into other regions where others await the touch of the life giving sparks that enliven and awaken a new generation. Even the warming caress of sun and drenching rain is an act of divine providence, or giving in a wheel that knows no end and no beginning. Quiet and still, these beings mask their greater inner lives.

So even we do these same things, even we make this dance of longing and yearning, so old and ancient that its root can escape us as we are caught up as if in some whirlwind, some deeper dance both of passion and letting go as we give ourselves to life’s great mystery, to its passionate embrace, and longing that brings us to this place, this wonder filled state where our minds and bodies and hearts are excited beyond the normal trebling that life gives or provides.
To touch my eye with your eye, to touch smile to smile, or hand to hand, we join in this ancient dance, this passionate longing for life seeking to complete itself, and in so doing, complete ourselves. Round and round we turn, like stars upon an endless wheel that rolls and ducks and sways in the lost night of time. We are carried one by the other, some by our imaginings, some by the reality, but always by the same glue that keeps life turning turning back and forward at once, calling to the roots of what it was to the heavens of what it will become.

So as our hands embrace, our smiles merge, as face becomes face, and eye becomes eye; as flesh becomes flesh, we excite in this dance, this subtle movement first tentative, then more certain as we are gathered by the compass of its certainty, of its need to move as it moves, which is ever forward into endless days and tomorrows.

We came here as boundless beings who knew neither limit nor touch, and followed down into narrow pathways into minds of earthlings, like spirits on a cosmic voyage, we entered the world of limit and pain and loneliness, only to be called back by forces that were brought to bear in this world, moving us through realms of limit and bounding to that greater reminder that this is a dance of mystery, passion, and love. In this love we touch the infinite, wrapped in that which pulls and grabs us like hawk talons grasping talons in a spiral dance of yearning, moving us one step beyond this one, seeking the divine, seeking the infinite. 10/13/06 – 7:30-7:34 p.m.

Everything you believe is the world making you feel a certain way and is just you feeling and responding from a place that is constituted by your own inner dialog of beliefs about what you think the world is all about (and everything in it- people and their actions as well as events and everything else in the world).

I have spent a lifetime sensing energy. I did this as a result of an inner sense that awakened in me when I was much younger. Its been 35 years now, and I have collected a vast amount of observational data about this inner sense, and a majority of it has been checked to see if what was seen energetically has a basis in that person’s real life (the person being read). The result has been consistently accurate observations.

Through decades of this awareness I found that my gift afforded me an objective reality about how things were as it has been expressed energetically through people and their inner light. When I awakened two decades later, what I found was that while the feeling side of my inner sensing trebled with awakening, I was also reacting to energy in a much less objective way. A sudden turnabout!

I used to think that I felt everyone’s energy in the early days of my awakening when I was experiencing what I thought was a bewildering barrage of energy. What I found was that no, I actually was not doing that. I was only able to determine this through observing many cases of my own reaction to these energetic reactions. Most people I have spoken to about this topic of feeling other people’s energy, and its clear to me that everyone believes they are accurately feeling everyone’s energy. What’s actually happening, in my experience, is a large part of what this post is about….which is how subjective our inner senses can become.

Let me try and explain how this works. First, we do feel energy from others internally, brought to us courtesy of at least a degree of nonduality. Nonduality is what allows us to feel the energy of another person in my observation. Nonduality means “no other” and helps express a fundamental character of consciousness that allows us,to perceive life as utterly connected with everything. A result of this state is that we can feel the energetic state of another as if its our own. We may in fact be feeling the energy directly and even accurately at the outset. But then once that is done, everyone begins to distort that energy right away simply by adding their own reaction to the energy experience. I say this because I have done it and I have observed up close others I have known doing it also. In one case a person I knew who believed she was an empath described my energy in a way that it became clear that she was experiencing her own energetic state and not my own. How’s that for taking projection to a whole new level?

A person with a clear connection to high-order energy through the higher self can be picked up by another person and interpreted in highly distorted ways, such as fear-based reactions which is the most common reaction it seems. Yes, we can sense others’ energy, bit sadly most of my boots on the ground experience has shown me that a large part of it has been distorted or filtered through a persons own inner biases or worldview (yes really). Its a state that has led me to being single and uninterested in relationships with people who claim awakening. No thank you, not until you have your shit worked through.

I have actually seen a person try to make me into a stand-in for a person that the individual sensing me knew decades in the past who had abused that person. This then resulted in an assumption that I was also an abuser even though no abuse had occurred. This sounds crazy, but this gets even stranger, and it helps to show how a person distorts the truth that is right in front of them. Adding the idea that they are awakened only makes that person even more delusional. It results in those prone to emotional dishonesty to further delude themselves by thinking because they awoke no way their perceptions could be wrong! Right? These are the things train wrecks are made of.

This person went on to allege that I was assaulting my students sexually. I can’t begin to tell you how scary it is to be caught up in a lie like this. For men wrongfully accused, the public treats this kind of accusation as the truth first (its because people overwhelmingly have a bias that makes them think why would a woman lie about something like this?). Add to that that this person was involved in fielding complaints from students as well as faculty and staff at the school where I teach, and what you have is very effective cover for a person who is seeking to destroy someone, like me, for trivial reasons. Yes, it actually happened just like this. When I confronted this person she said that she had a right to free speech, effectively defending her supposed right to say anything she wanted to say…even if it was a lie as well as a subversion of an oath she made professionally when she began this type of work. Really. Imagine being railroaded by something like this! And no, the accusation was not true in the least. I have never behaved in a way anywhere near to approaching sexual harrassment or assault (her words were “assault”). If this had been the case, I would have been fired from my job years ago. Instead, I continued to teach and was kept in after the curriculum changed that ended the classes that i taught. I was told that I was an asset to the department and I went on to teach graduate courses and other course material tangentially related to my field. My evaluations from my students were all in the excellent range all but my first year teaching (I was a green teacher at first!). I continued to teach until voluntarily stepping down in order to pursue my studio business full time two years ago. I never once had a single discipkinary action taken against me related to sexual harrassment or assault as had been alleged by this person. Its hard, though, when people will believe a lie before the truth, but this is the unfortunate case in our culture. Women have and continue to smear men with accusations such as these. ..and we believe them. We believed the story in Rolling Stone a few years back until it was revealed that the story had in fact been made up. Meanwhile, the male students caught in this deception had their lives and reputations ruined.

One more aspect needs to be added here. I copied and archived all of these accusations when I began to see that they were happening. The accusation this person made stated that I was insinuating myself into others energy simply because I could and because of my being awakened. These accusations were full of paranoid suppositions and assertions that were designed to scare the crap out of a person reading it. It probably made for dramatic reading, but none of it was true.

The reality? The reality is that when I read an article that I think is insightful I often comment on it if I have the time to do so. At no point do I somehow glomb onto another person’s energy. In my experience, these kinds of energetic events that this person was saying I was engaged in were for me events that were rare and hapoened spontaneously (both felt the energy and both embraced it in a consenting fashion). In my life I have experienced the “twin soul” phenomenon and have experienced three connections that were of this order of magnitude. The person in question was one of these people.

The Take away from this experience was that people absolutely can, and do, completely get it wrong and do so on a regular basis. In my case maybe you could say God-Source was trying to get my attention with an uncredibly overblown example of just how far people can and do get tjings wrong that they “feel” about another person. And maybe, too, part of the take away was for me to be able to see the abuse of power that people engage in on a daily basis in state and governmental institutions every day. The pount here, this person backed all of this up with “I know this because I am an empath.”

When I look at the daily news about Russia-gate for example, I see this very same quality of human mayure at work. I was jyst watching interviews with Bill Binney, an NSA whistleblower who first revealed how the government was spying on the American peoole prior to 911. He has shown through careful analysis that all of the assertions made about the Gussifer attack is false. The consequences involve Mueller being in posession of classified documents from the NSA for which he has zero clearance for and which is a felony and may actually run afoul of the espionage act. Really. But where on the news have you heard this startling revelation? Nowhere except independent sources not beholden to higher corrupt powers. Meanwhile, people who believe that yhe msinstream media is an unimpeachable source to be trusted buy into the lie and we are carried along on the current, and consequences, of that lie. As result the lie has to be supported, told over and over, which naturally leads to still more lies (or you get found out as a liar). This is the problem; too much pride to admit you were in the wrong or that you sought to deceive.

All of this stems from energy a person feels and then turned into an elaborate and convoluted lie that went on for years. Can we distort the energy as we feel it inside of ourselves? Absolutely! There is what is andvthen there is our reaction to what is. Those, dear reader, are two compleyely different realities very often. Most often. In fact, im not sure I have never encountered a completely clear channel that didn’t “futz” with the data coming through them. We are like stained glass windows always coloring the pure white light coming through us. So yes, it happens. It even happens to me. But what I do is I try to learn from it by getting down into the underlying source of the problem. This is no mean task because it has taken me years in some cases to dig down bto the roots in order to reveal them and lay the axe to them.

Over the years I have found that in the three cases where I had a strong connection to other people, there were patterns related to how we were drawn together. Some were karmic but one was not. When I feel the energy of another person I can now learn a lot about where I am in my own inner process by how I respind energetically to them. To do this requires me to be aware that there is even a reaction going on. Its actually very easy, deceptively easy, to miss the part where you are creating a reaction. This reaction turns into a feeling and the feeling gets turned into a judgement. All of this happens so fast, so effortlessly, that its seemingly impossible to catch that its even happening.

The best way to tell if what I’m telling you is the truth is to do the work and see if you can catch what I have caught in upur day yo day interactions with people or events. You have to be able to bring the Observer or Witness self into the equation in order to properly observe this tendency in us. This is a very neutral part of yourself. Highly mental people have a harder time getting to open to it than others who are more intuitive. It might also be achieved by asking simple questions of people who all saw or experienced the same event. The key is in asking non-leading questions that elicit honest responses and then look at what you get.

This is a bit of a digression, but its important to show how our individual belief and bias forms our reality inside our heafs and even our hearts.

I only responded to energy that had a ressonant frequency that was either the same or opposite of my own. I could turn on my inner energy sensing of the human energy field, read an aura, see all aspects present in a person, but all of it was without feeling. I saw as one would see a bird, a tree, or a stone. Simple. When I felt like I was really feeling another, I was mostly responding to something similar in myself. In other cases, I would feel an opposite or complimentary energy of feeling. The issue that I never saw at first was that I wasn’t really responding and feeling their energy, I was only responding to how I felt about that person and their energy…or even sometines only one small element or aspect in that person.

Lets say I had a bad experience with a person whose energy feels expansive. After that, I might haveca bad association to anyone whose energy is expansive, say. But all of the people downstream from that initial event may in fact have been perfectly fine people who dont show a disregard for others, say. In my mind, though, my fear takes the day and rules over it. I feel fear and it makes me think I am feeling genuine fear about that person in my presrnt moment who just reminds me of this person from years ago. At this point, Im now caught in a feeling and because I believe my insights are always right, I buy into my feeling. I might buy into it so much that create lies that i tell about a person much like happened to me. Since this kind of behavior is hard for me to relate to, its hard for me to always understand what the motivating factor is for some people. Maybe its because the motivating factor is always different for each person….and that makes it hard for me to relate to or to understand? Perhaps.

So in my experience, whenever i was engaged in this type of interpretive behavior, I effectively was cherry picking what I was feeling….and my own response to another person was only my response. I brought my own judgements, ideas, and biases about whatever it was into the moment. I have had conversations with healers, some quite gifted, and while they have picked up on a host of very valid things in regards to their clients, choosing to feel a certain way has always been a very personal affair. What Im saying is we can’t ever really know how a person feels about what it is that they might be feeling. You might think that no, we all feel the same way, but you would be wrong I think.

I have had feelings picked up by healers or empathic people that didnt bear on me at all….but they picked up on it not because it was a prominent aspect of my own inner landscape, but they were picking it out from a lineup of many other elements because it stuck out for them.

Its hard to be completely clear as a healer. A number of years ago I had a reading by this man who said to me that I came here to go into the healing arts. I said that my inner guidance had told me that I needed to work on me first in order to be as clear and thus as neutral as possible before I did healing work.

In Native American healing arts the most healed person in the tribe was the healer most often. They were a healer for the very reason that they were neutral. Because they didn’t carry a wound like your own was precisely the reason why they were so good at healing you. They were able to go right into the energy and supplant their own energy as a ressonant field or realm of influence that the patient’s own energy would naturally atune itself to. This is what I call entrainment. By holding a vibration strongly and clearly enough, others naturally come into the same vibration as you…provided that they consent and are open and ready for it.

Bring an unhealed energy into the same healing session and its probable that nit only wont you heal that person, you will only make their issues worse by sending them into the wrong direction. As a result, its very important to either be a clear channel or use healing methods that don’t even bring feeling into it. You could very easily be injecting what it is your thinking about a client rather than what is. The man conducting my reading went on to explain that I would achieve this clarity by beginning to learn methods for healing. Perhaps he was right, and as a result of this I decided to learn about a healing modality called Reiki Tummo.

I found after years of digging deep and systematically clearing my field that some things eluded me. Reiki Tummo provided a timely method for reaching into a place that I had felt stuck on in my clearing process. I also found that people who I thought the universe had sent along the way as teachers or catalysts usually only served to bring up old junk that could best be healed in a solitary way. Some people even served as a retrograding force. Some woukd call these people mirrors but what I found was that no, they were all seeing their own junk in their own way, often while wanting to project the stuff that they couldn’t face up to themselves onto others. This is like being in a tar pit and not really wanting out even though you are thrashing around acting like you are. Instead, the person just wants you dragged down into the tar with them. They just need love and some sympathy but they also need a good dose of self reliance, a belief in themselves instead of relying on others to do the work that is only theirs to do. Beware the tar pit people!

Do your work, remain humble, seek what is true and expect to be human all the way…but also expect the higher self to have more and more purchase in you for helping you to move mountains. It is possible if you cultivate a sense of devotion to those forces in you that can bring powerful healing much like how a miracle comes. Sudden…almost unexpectedly.

Everything you feel about others remains full of your own inner biases. It isn’t as though you can’t know things, it’s that in such close quarters its hard to see what is truly theirs and what is yours. So be slow to judge, and be observant. Sometimes it is more about you than you might care to admit. I’ll admit that this is so for me. The yoke will grow easy.

I am a work in progress. Will this observation be superceded by a still clearer version of the truth…time will tell. Until later….

Here is a draft from a few years ago, part of my backlog of posts that I am bringing forward so it can be out there for what they are worth. This is a very busy time of the year for me, so it is nice to have this backlog….


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I came to awakening without having been raised in a tradition or philosophy. Yes, my family went to church for a time, but I didn’t join when it came time to do that (and luckily I was allowed to decide for myself). I was always listening to the voice in my heart that tended to caution me about buying into a religious or philosophical construct.

I spent my life in a solo singular approach, seeking out those sources that reflected back to me what spoke to my own growing body of inner truth. In the 80’s I heard the album by Van Morrison “No Guru No Method No Teacher” and found a common sense of belonging to a path that comes from within.

The advantage, to my mind, of this “path” is that we learn to rely on our own inner compass point instead of relying on dogmas from other outside authorities. There is so much in our world that has distortions. Most every philosophy and religion has them. I would be called a nit-picker to point out some, but others are quite big and substantive. This is not to say that there aren’t traditions that aren’t good or useful, it is just that my inner guidance kept me from buying into any one of these paths. Along with this resisting joining or buying into a religion or school of thought was the feeling or expectation of a ‘big reveal’ that was going to happen further down the line. That inner voice was telling me that all of this was building to something.

….And then awakening came and so much was made plain to me about religion, spirit, the world….

It feels like to me that in many ways (not all, but many) that I have been called to seek the light within in order to bring forward the perennial teachings. Now, I know what this might sound like, but I do this for myself. I know growing up, the one thing I was most interested in were the “secrets of the universe.” I also realized that no one else was interested in these things like I was. Not many, anyway. So it isn’t as though I do this for an audience of any kind….I do it because I want the truth. I know; and now I’m writing about it…doesn’t that suggest that I am all about the audience? Not like that.

I share what I come across for anyone who cares to read…so in this way, I very much keep away from the teacher and guru model. Over and over people want a link, a book, a teacher, when the real rubber- meeting-the-road moment happens within. I understand, but enlightenment is waaay simpler, way more foundational an event within the self. No methods, no postures. It is so simple but hard for most it seems. So simple it can be transmitted by a look, a breath, a sigh.

I prefer to be an example for a way to be. It turns out that others have done this also and it is Jiddu Krisnamurti who espoused the “Pathless Path” in his own work. So my impulse or inner directive is not a singular one since there are others who have done the same thing. So with that bit of babble, what I am saying here is something that I came across from what I would call an inner teaching has helped me to understand desire in a way that isn’t often talked about and is also often misunderstood.

In most religions and philosophies, there is a strand or need to describe desire as something that is bad. In other traditions, desire is considered a bad thing, something that is meant to be eschewed. What I have found, though, is that this is actually being filtered through a bias that serves to cause a good deal of misunderstanding about the natural path through the self as a way to work through the issues that remain.

These issues are stored emotions that are contained not just in the brain, but are all throughout the body and is contained and recorded from life to life through the pranamaykosha or the sum total of what we think of as the Light Body.

The “problem” with desire is that what we call prana is itself full of desire. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has ever been touched by high levels of prana has felt how desire has been intensified. Now you might think that this is just a reaction to an outside stimulus, but in the world of the nondual, any belief about the seperateness of phenomenon quickly is dismissed when you experience how all phenomenon is connected (like Dr. Bronner used to say: “all-one”).

This is one reason why awakening bears with it considerable desire of all kinds. Now, this is not just because when you awaken that prana is stirring these desires (of all kinds), but is the very basis of prana. Yes, personal desires are stirred, but this isn’t all that is at work. The crux of this is that there are issues that we each have that result in desires that are distorted.

Imagine a pure light streaming through a window that is colored with stains that distort this pure light. This is what I am talking about here. We forget the nature of prana and thus also kundalini as being full of desire. Who doesn’t see the stimulating effects that kundalini has on the body who has gone through this? I saw effects of age slow, then reverse for a time before age continued forward more slowly than before.

This desire, though, is a perfected light that does not have the same distortions or blocked forms within it. We are experiencing this advanced energy in our bodies and consciousness while also experiencing what happens when that light strikes our own light bodies, which are most often chock full of blocks when awakening comes (because in the West we do not have traditions that properly help us to prepare for awakening—at least not yet). But we often hear about how bad desire is and how many monks will spend their lives eschewing desire. This leads to all kinds of problems.

One problem is how in Christianity we have shunted aside women as active participants in it (there have been no female popes and no female cardinals or priests (or priestesses)). In Islam, it is much the same. The covering of the feminine is considered a form of protecting modesty, but it is actually doing something else, which is holding back men from learning how to deal with their own energy in such a way that they can work on their blocks and move into this purer kind of light. This is simply one example of how this state of being has been distorted and so misunderstood. The path through desire is not to resist, but to work through it and you cannot do this without facing all of your junk. If you think desire is some bad thing like I have described, then you are hobbling yourself. You will find that your capacity to bring heaven on earth will be greatly limited. But the question naturally arises, does this mean that we must embrace our desires in order to work through them?

The answer to my mind is no. However, it does mean that you do need to raise your awareness about where you are in your development. To do that, you need to be able to see how your desires are causing you problems.

Can you ask yourself if your desires are causing you problems? Can you observe the truth in this by observing what happens in your life? If you are experiencing awakening, you know how powerful this desire can be…and you can feel both this higher desire, which is this light that is moving through you, but you can also feel how this same light of prana is also activating a slew of other lesser desires, and it is natural for us to be drawn to our earthly desires. This is about learning to align to a higher vibrational state. When I hear about people seeking to “ascend” I wonder do people really know what this even means?

Sometimes I see people who are trying to ascend the hardest are the ones who are suffering the most. Simply, this is just holding onto blocks that keep these lower vibrational desires activated. So here’s a secret; if you respond to the reaction that you get from a block, you will never dig that block out. What you need to do is to actually find the stored emotion, not what that emotion is generating. Address that, and you are at the source. Blocks can fool you. You got hurt and you have been placing blame on others ever since. The problem here is as long as you are doing this, you are NOT addressing the initial reaction that you had that causes the block to begin with. I know people who are still going around in circles with something from childhood that they are too invested in how they felt they were hurt by others. This is the trap, you see. The universe does not give a whoop who did what. The only thing that matters is your reaction. You can let yourself be stuck in your reactions. You can be stuck for your whole life, even.

I say this as someone who has known this all too well. We hold onto these things because they feel so wonderfully strong and when we feel something that is so strong, we naturally get drawn to it. What I can tell you is that there is a higher power, a higher vibration that is available to us when we can do the work to cleanse the pranamayakosha (or Light Body).

Early in my awakening, when I began to really get involved in figuring out ways to help assist in releasing these blocked energies (which are often traumas) I began to be visited by higher vibrational beings. They came after awakening ramped up and began to accelerate, which made awakening difficult for a time. One of these spiritual visitors was someone whom I learned was my life guide, someone who revealed himself over twenty years ago to me, but who seemed to disappear for a long time.

When he showed up, he explained who he was. This turned out to be an angel from the Old Testament, called a Seraphim based on what it was he said to me. I never knew much about the angels, so I had to look his history up on the internet. It’s strange to find that the things that I saw about him were actually described in his description in the Old Testament accounts.

He showed up in my room at about four a.m. He walked over to my bed and explained that he needed to take something out of me. In a very matter of fact way he said “You are much more beautiful without this…” and he reached into my heart chakra and removed a dark body from my light body. This was itself amazingly vivid and it felt as though an inner body was being pulled out of me that had no bones. It was pulled away with a feeling of tearing at two points at the top of my lungs, up in the shoulders. But the moment that he reached into my heart center, I had a pulse of energy that was beyond anything I can even begin to describe. I was completely awed by my ability to experience this energy. I had never felt anything like this. It was like bliss X 1,000.00. This was a transformative experience in that I was able to see what is possible for us resting in potential. I wondered how on earth I was able to feel this, it seemed so beyond anything in our world. What this did was it showed me what I had to do in terms of work.

Needless to say, this has served as a kind of peak to look for within myself, to know that as I release more of the hurdles that are in the way within me that have accumulated over this life and other lives, I know that with dedication to this way of being that I can attain this pure light that is known by others seemingly more advanced than we.

You see, these blocks are tied up in beliefs that we have about ourselves that serve to hold us back. These are big and small and very often they are almost always limiting us. When you think about this energy of prana as a sentient energy (which it is), you are dealing with an energy that is limitless. Is it any wonder, then, that we experience synchronicities and perfectly timed events when kundalini (prana) begins to flow so strongly? When we are aligned within ourselves without limitations, what we wish for is unimpeded in its movement through the pranic field. When this happens, the field responds and it begins to create with us. Well, it is actually always creating with us, but the problem we so often talk about is how some of our wishes don’t come true. Instead, we have other things happen that hold us in a state that is “less than.”

The reason this is happening this way is because there is a competing belief that literally cancels out the signal of the wish that you wish could come to pass. Remove or resolve/change the belief and you open the flow and path for this wish to come true. To do this requires honesty and surrender.

Now bear in mind that I am not espousing some materialistic angle on spirituality that will bring you your wildest dreams for the sake of greed. Instead, when aligned to the highest within you, and when that alignment is not being cancelled by competing beliefs, that energy will flow in accord with how clear you are and the result that you get wont be filled with glitches like they so often might be. For example, here you are, you are finding you can wish for things and they happen. Great. You land that job you really needed in some new part of the country for the next leg of your journey and it is just what you need. That is one hurdle removed. But once you get in that job suddenly you find people emerging from the woodwork who seem to be the same color of some past experiences that you thought maybe you had dealt with, but obviously not because here they are causing you trouble. These people are part of a pattern from your past and they remain for as long as you have this belief still within you because that belief about yourself is actually activating physical reality along those same lines. The universe is super intelligent and it will bring you things that are bizarrely perfectly aligned with your stuff that you have not yet dealt with. Its like God is sending you something. But you are doing this. You. You are working with this amazingly creative force that is forming the physical and supporting it and bringing you all of this energy. It is up to you how you use it. If you are holding limiting beliefs, the universe dutifully brings you limited results.

We live limited lives in part because we believe that we are limited beings. We think we are just this one body, and we have created both consciousness and culture to close our larger being down, but we are much more. Being able to tap into what we truly are, which is a vessel for this shining light, is a very good first start. Only then can we know what is possible.

You can begin to taste this by removing the blocked energy in your field. As you do, you will find gradually, that things will get easier and easier. In fact, desire itself will change. It will get better, stronger, more cosmic, but also more peaceful. I think we all know just how chaotic awakening can make us feel especially in the beginning. But this is not because of our upbringing or because of another person making us feel a certain way or any of that. We feel this chaos because we are the chaos. Work through it, and it will go away, never to return.

The thing about doing this work is that desire does not go away, it get better. The thing about this work is that we realize over and over that no one else is ever the problem, we are. When you can turn the lantern of your awareness into yourself and dare to see all of your broken places and roll up your sleeves and ask the universe how to heal it, it quite naturally will begin to show you ways to do that. When I said I wanted to clear away the dross, my awakening accelerated because I had someone telling me where the blocks were and who to go see to take care of some of them. I had books and I had dreams, I had realizations in meditation or throughout the day, all showing up in amazingly perfect timing over and over. These things were not based in the old way of doing things but of being willing to finally be really honest with myself about my own shit.

The other side of desire that limits us is our shame. It keeps us locked in a prison most often. We don’t want to be seen as “less than” so we put on these masks or we try to hide in order to get through our days. Someone once said that we should be as children and we will know the kingdom. We need to return to a kind of openness and innocence in our work I think in order for it to go more smoothly. We might need to get used to the idea that things are going to change and that the intense current we are feeling in awakening is likely coming from holding our fingers over the end of the hose. No, more energy is not flowing, it is being impeded. Impeding the light will make everything seem intense and strong, but it is holding back the flow. This happens the first five years of aeakening for most people (some it can take much longer, some, fewer, for less time).

When we hold back, we are also holding back or denying what we are destined to be. There is no reason to feel shame that you have not reached perfection. The truth is, no such perfection exists, we just keep getting better and better. I mean really. if you think of the supreme consciousness and how advanced it is and how it interpenetrates the entirety of all things and knows each sparrow that falls, then that is a pretty high bar to set, don’t you think? So don’t be silly; ascension is simply a process that goes on and on. Maybe its even a good idea to let that old husk of an idea go because at some point all that striving will actually serve to limit you. There is no arrival, there is no real ascension save for a continuum of becoming and improving ourselves continuously forever. When we can be like children, we are no longer impressed so much by big productions and hunger for the really simple things…like play (creating).

So I say this to speak to myself because I am telling myself what I need to remember. Since I have experienced this, I have no hesitation sharing it because when you share what you know and what has served you as genuine, it will work for others too. Our fields are part of the same field. All are connected. Our consciousness divides “this” from “that” creating arbitrary and sometimes not too arbitrary divisions. Some are important for a time but fall away.

Even as I am writing this, I can feel the presence of the future and those who will be reading it. I know that my own energy will meet the reader, you, and something in me that is entirely without word will remind you of what it is that you are and what you are capable of. And this happens all the time. It is only a reminder.

The goal of desire is to teach us about our need to create and how central this is in our universe. We create all the time and we do so out of desire….desire of all kinds…and those creations are a mirror for where we are in our development like how children are a biological mirror in part of who the parent are. As you clear desire of the blocks, desire will grow ever more powerful and it will be….simpler, less impeded, and it wont trip you up as much as it did in the past. it wont be that you will feel any less desire, it is that the desire that you feel will be free from limiting ways of getting energized by things that aren’t good for you. It isn’t that desire is bad, it is that so many people can’t get over the hump of their own junk enough to see that desire actually changes and does so in a wonderful way. No, this is not about denying desire, and if you do, you will forestall your development, I promise you that. If you release fear then you might find yourself more easy with others so your own energy can just fill a room without any hesitation. You wont be afraid of somehow being captured by another person’s energy because you are so sure of your own. You will be more easy in yourself and desire will simply be aligned to a higher purpose. This wont be something that you think with your mind, it will be something that you feel all through you. And even then, you might still have things to work on…like all of us.

But the homework for today is; what is the source of desire? What IS desire? if prana IS desire-filled, then what is its parentage, its origins? What is animating prana?

I think desire is here to help us to refine the way we feel. It is to help us to feel. Most tend to pooh-poohs feeling, but the truth here is in order to know peace and contentment, we first need to understand all of the things that color our feeling. When the consciousness is clarified, we don’t get tossed about by our knee-jerk and hot button issues all of which are being driven by the result of the repressed emotions, the blocks I have been discussing all along here. I’m talking about a version of you that you were always meant to know. Now isn’t this interesting, a great mystery to help yourself unravel.

If you ask the question how do I do this work, the first and most important step is to learn how to help facilitate the release of stored energy in the body. Kundalini helps immensely with this, but you can also facilitate its removal greatly with a variety of methods. Qi Gong is very helpful especially in the first five years, but so is a method called TRE which uses tremor movement (shaking) to tap into an ability that we have to release stored trauma. It can work remarkably well. There is body work or deep tissue massage by an intuitive therapist who can feel blocks in your body. There is also forms of yoga that involve helping to clear the energy channels in the light body that hold these blocks. Being creative is itself very helpful also. There are many methods that can assist you in releasing this material.

~P.

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As I look over our history as a species, from the Middle East and the religions it spawned, to the East and the philosophies, the almost-religions that stopped short of being those because they do not espouse worship of a deity or a god of any kind, I see a pattern emerge as it relates to our creative energy and all of its relatives; except under very specific conditions creative energy is only allowed to be expressed in certain ways.  I am dealing with creative energy in a very broad sense here, so if you thought creative energy was that part of us that solved problems or helped create new things like cars or rockets to the moon or music and art, hang on.  Creative energy, I have come to see includes all aspects of our being, from our desire to create art to our desire to build bridges and civilizations.  Our creativity also includes the forces that maintain our bodies and it also includes our capacity, our ability, to create more of ourselves through sexual intercourse between men and women.  All of this to my mind and experience is part of a cosmic strand that divides out in numerous ways in our consciousness but has at its root an energy that in its origin is wild and free.

The problem in our world today is that except as noted previously, creative energy has been tamped down, controlled.  Churches have done this by instilling a sense of shame about our sexuality. We were to not trust our sexuality or our urges least of all so we relied on our religions to tell us what was what.  And you know, I am not convinced that it was for good.  Look at the scandals rocking the Catholic church and they don’t seem to stop. The Pope speaks out about it, but its like it is some monolithic structure with little accountability or willingness to change.  If you doubt what I am saying here, just do a historical church of the scandals that have taken place with the Catholic church over the years and you will begin to see how difficult this issue is.  Part of it stems from requiring priests to be chaste.  I am just going to say that when our creative fires are so narrowly focused there will always be trouble. Creativity was meant to be wild and free, not tamed, and here we are with our religions trying to tame what really was meant to set us free.  And instead, we are prisoners.

I will admit that what I say about prana is my take.  People are keen to try and point out that our perception is just perception, so human, so frail, so likely to be distorted.  But you know, this time, I don’t think so.  As I read about the hundreds, thousands, even, of experiences describing the bliss of the flow of prana, I see the same thing. It’s seen as a goddess, perhaps, wild and free, powerful.  But this energy is in all of us, the place where our inner man and inner woman meet, the explosion of opposites.  That is the definition of kundalini….which is nothing more than this: prana in supreme abundance (finally!). What I observe is what everyone else observes.  People may have different reactions to it.  Some might close down, some might open up.  Some might open and close in turns.  Some will be highly insightful, some will realize there is more to their ability to plumb their depths.  All through it, prana is the wild child to me, a liberating and spiritually lubricating force.

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Torus form with multiple sheathes/fields

Prana is creative.  It stimulates all centers of the body when there is an abundance of it.  The ancients described bliss that was off the charts due to the increased flow of this energy.  As I sit writing this, I feel a steady-state experience of bliss.  I came to this level of bliss as a result of a lot of inner work.  I instinctively knew that if I followed what kundalini was doing that things would get easier.  They have.  I still have my challenges that I deal with, but they change with every realization or inner breakthrough.  I know that in my case that prana has fueled wildly vigorous creative energy.  In fact, I had to be creative in the arts in order to build enough of a flow in my body to sustain the current level of bliss that I feel.  When I go into the energy I can feel its wildness.  I can feel that it was never intended to be tamed.  yes, it is like water and will flow into any container in which it is poured, but the vessel itself is what limits or allows the flow of this force.

As someone who deals with awakening on a daily basis for over a decade, I luagh at the videos of teachers telling people how to awaken the kundalini.  The “Sat Nam!” breath that is one part hammer and one part release into the Mystery.  i know that if I had to depend on an exercise like that to awaken I think I should wait a very long time.  Maybe someone figured out that it worked for some folks, but I direct the flow of prana by way of feeling only.  This has always been what has opened the gates….always.  Even teachers who say prana is breath are wrong; prana is a fine energy that is in no way contained in the air.  No, prana moves by way of feeling. In fact, feeling is how we actually communicate to the cosmos. it is how the dream is made manifest (I write about this extensively in the blog so do a search to find out more).

The chakras are energy centers and every one has an emotional vibration connected to it.  This “emotive power” inherent in the chakras is born out of this feeling quality I am talking about.  No, people shut down their chakras and thus prana when they feel a hard feeling instead of a soft opening feeling.  And even if a million teachers say prana is breath, it does not make it right even once.  It just means that they themselves do not understand prana or have not been able to stimulate prana with anything other than breath (and this tells me as the observer that they may be lacking in their ability to connect with their feeling side of themselves to boot!). I know it might sound pedantic, but I promise you that it isn’t.  When we understand something so simple as prana responding to feeling, we can get ourselves on the right track in our own work for bringin in more of it so that its flow can heal (which it does).

Breath, when properly used, has a stimulating effect on the body which in turn stimulates prana. It isn’t even that the chakras respond to thought, it is deeper still than that.  Feeling….the whole world is lacking in feeling and awareness of their power to feel.  People who are not awakened will laugh at this, but trust me, the world carries a level of numbness in them…..even awakened people.  The journey to full feeling can take some time.  I know that I have been gifted with a kind of energetic “reset” by a healer who revealed the true depth of my woundedness, which sent me into a very real sense of physical pain (which was itself emotional/spiritual but now boosted by the presence of prana so it feels physical), so I know that we can go merrily along with the work of awakening only to find, “holy bejebus! there is so much more!” even years later.  So this is why all of this can become such a journey for people.  This is a journey to realization.  Realization comes about as a result of awareness.  Sometimes, once in a great while, we can meet people who we connect so deeply with that they share something about themselves that can spark all sorts of realizations within ourselves.  Some are direct, some tangential.  Some are unintended.  But this is why relationship has been so important in awakening and is also one aspect that is largely denied by the world’s religions as a bona fide religious or spiritual “practice.”

Yes, prana is creative. There are stories of how women who have undergone awakening have experienced a sense as though they were pregnant, that they were going to birth something. A close family friend confided in me during one of our talks about her awakening process that she went through a period of time when she could feel her body wanting to physically birth something. She sensed that this was part of her awakening process, but it was a curious experience to her.  When I explained to her that many other women have reported the same experience it made her feel a little less crazy. The experiences have all been extremely similar and I think that it points to powerful energies that are creative in nature but that operate at higher dimensional levels and are having their effect in our day-to-day lives (because it’s all connected now).

So I think that when we are faced with the spirit and the higher self, it is quite natural for higher-order experiences to be transmitted into the language of the body, to be related to our bodies as well as all other levels of ourselves.  I have noticed that at a certain level the self knows itself to be One with all things, so naturally the creative energy of prana is the same as the creativity of our personalities, the same creativity of our physical bodies in making babies, and who knows what other forms of creative output there are in other realms of experience that we have yet to discover as sentient beings. What is universal is that creativity always feels blissful.  When we create babies in the physical our bodies provide us with an orgasm to make the experience that much more filled with reward, but creative energy also brings chills and goosebumps to creators of music and art.  It at once expresses and evokes powerful feeling. People who have awakened almost all go through intense creative bursts.  As an artist I can say that my awakening has fueled a number of new directions in my work that would have never existed before.  It’s a little crazy in a way just how crowded my inner landscape is with ideas.  My only challenge is in bringing these ideas to fruition.  And, in the way that prana also works, it speeds up manifesting many-times over.  For example, when I began thinking about how close I was to reopening my studio practice after teaching, without saying a word, but thinking how I would like to have some good assistants, I received one highly qualified request for being involved in some part-time capacity at the studio making work as well as two beginners who expressed a sincere desire to learn the discipline.  The interesting part of this is how well-timed it was.  By now, I am not surprised by any of this, but I know that when my prana flow increases, it accelerates manifestation of desired outcomes.  That said, it might bring me a person who WANTS to work in my field, but it does not guarantee that they will be excellent or that they will decide to stay with it a year or even a week later. Sometimes, you have to dig deeper to find where these glitches exist.  But that is for another time.

But here is the problem as I see it, at least as it relates to many of our institutions on earth,  which is that our creativity has been hijacked.  It’s not some demonic conspiracy to enslave humanity, just a desire to tamp down creativity because it scares people who are in positions of power.  One thing I know about power is that the vast majority of institutions and the people within then have a great need to control.  This control on the one hand may have been intended to keep people from killing each other or behave badly, but the other side of the coin has been that it also limits freedom.  It limits our creativity.  When I look at what I have seen in my meditations about creativity and how wild and free it is and when I look at the human race, I see a big disconnect.  And the problem? Here is your problem…..

We value war and destroying in the name of greed and the usurpation of land and wealth through military invasions and keeping our race held hostage by the fear of the next fabricated threat that the military industrial complex decides to come up with next (read your history on this—most of our wars have been coups on the part of the CIA or an effort to fool us into war, this didn’t start with the invasion of Iraq, this has been going on for a long time). We are taught that to be a man we must be warlike, unfeeling.  Women have their place, perhaps one of the greatest fonts of creative energy alive on the planet and our women are shut down to such an unbelievable degree. Their thought process mimics men in their rational approach, with that fabulous intuitive and feminine character of soul nearly gone.   Really, you have no idea.  But so are the men shut down.  We all are, so don’t think I am picking on anyone in particular.  But men are shut down in such a way that it creates this rage and it just keeps feeding their desire to go to war so they can just kill something.  This, my friends, is creativity turned into itself.  This is the dark side of the creative force.  Do I really need to point this out to you? Men who don’t know how to command their sexual energy, women who are afraid of these men, and then women who aren’t in command of their own sexual energy too, and use their emotional forces of manipulation to work things in their favor.  It is a crazy mixed up mess if you ask me.

Our institutions by and large forswear sexual expression as a necessity to make babies, but by and large, we have incredible taboos placed on our sexuality.  While there are good reasons for governing behavior in theory, my observation is that our attempts to govern sexual energy result in greater dysfunction than ever.  Men pitted against women, the war of the sexes, men not in possession of their source of power and women not in full possession of their source of power either.  All the while we are taught that our sexual nature is dirty, that lust is not redeemable, and forget having sex if its lustful.  In fact, most of our institutions teach us how to sublimate sexual energy as a convenient way of side-stepping the issue altogether. In many parts of Asia its as though the teaching of Zen Buddhism and Taoism and other strands of Buddhism would rather deal with packaging bliss so that its no longer sexual as their axis mundi for solving the problem.  Women no longer in possession of themselves will never engage a man at the level of his divinity for very long, but the exact same can be said for men with their women.  I ask; how did we get here? I feel like I am in that video by the Talking Heads for the song Once In A Lifetime where a clearly out of control David Byrne seeks to illustrate the chaos of our lives as controlled beings while desiring finding the flow of life.

When I step back from this madness, I can feel a world within me swirling with the forces of creation in a way that I had always hoped to be able to feel, actually.  I had always hoped prior to awakening that creative energy was this vivid and strong (and it is). But when I look at the world I see we have a long way to go, baby.  We have a long way to go because we have squashed the creativity of the feminine and masculine both.

It’s interesting to me how as men begin to soften, kundalini is coming onto the scene also as women are learning how to find their own strength and their own sovereignty.  I observe that on a collective level humans are reaching across the aisle and integrating more of their opposites into their lives especially over the last twenty years (which also corresponds with the sudden increase of awakening (I could be wrong, but I don’t buy that these awakenings are due to someone decided it will be, but are the result of a myriad of factors all resulting in the changes we see today.  If you know how awakening is itself defined by the fusion of opposites in consciousness, then you can perhaps appreciate how it is that we now have a mass awakening taking place on the planet. Right. Now. And honestly, I observe that the progress we have made not just for hundreds of years, but especially during this last century, just happens to be of a kind that favors the fusion of opposites.  What if instead of this being some grand cosmic event as many want to say it is, we are simply glimpsing the natural result of people having reached a kind of threshold point in their development with awakening being the result.  This period has shown us more possibilities and people have been able to shrug off the control of their institutions just enough to begin to evolve in new directions, directs that favor awakening.

I think we need to be less concerned about how others will react or treat us.  We already are made into a kind of outcast by the differences in our experiences moment by moment from the average Joe and Josephina.  I mean, admit it, even as you go through your life undercover as the awakened being on the planet, you also find that this makes you feel so singular and lonely.  Social things for social creatures.  I think that the teachings of Tantra have a lot to explain about bliss.  While tantra is itself not necessarily sexual, the parts of tantra that are do not seek to shy away from confronting issues in our consciousness (well, it is the same with white tantra or black, both head straight-away right into the center of the fire which is how all emotional release work is done in fact).  The lesson is that you never skirt the briar patch, you head right into it and liberate it of whatever hitches that reside within the self.  Free yourself from shame, guilt, and repressed emotion. I know that in my life I have worked to dissolve as much of it as I can.  I have more to go, but as this last block rears its head I am reminded that if I am to be able to hear the voice of my intuition and my inner guidance as clearly as possible, I have to continue to be clearer.  Don’t be tamed, friends.

Torus Field

I’m going to share something with you, something I have not discussed on this blog before. I haven’t shared this because no matter how I would think of telling it, I kept hearing people in my head saying how it was a boast and not paying the heed to it that they ought to. I’m over this and I know that in just writing it, it opens a causal pathway that others can use. It’s nothing fancy, it’s simply awareness. Just knowing about something is enough to bring focus to it as a possibility. This experience involves how I experienced being in multiple locations (and time-lines) at once. What I found most interesting was how I was completely conscious of each location, each vantage point throughout the experience.  I am certain now that I know what the key was to my being able to be aware in the way that I was.  I think that it has important implications for others of you out there who are interested in the outer limits of consciousness (I say this knowing that there may be no limits to consciousness).

Before I do I want to tell you how improbable I once thought this experience was, just months before experiencing it.

Somewhere I read about a meditation practice used in India. It went like this: you hold in consciousness the thoughts or actions of something fairly simple, like a chant or counting of different objects. The object of the exercise was to hold numerous different things in consciousness, paying equal attention to each, thus allowing the mind to process many streams of awareness all at once. Call it a cosmic game of patting your head, rubbing your tummy, hopping on one foot, and whistling a tune all at once. This was thirty years ago so while the exact details of the exercise are a little dusty in my mind, this was the gist of it. As I contemplated this, I thought how impossible such a feat was. I really couldn’t believe such a thing was possible. I also wondered what the point of it was. That is, until I had an experience that came completely out of the blue that showed me that it was possible. Instead of having to practice this for months, maybe years, I was able to do it right out of the chute. What made it so easy is an element of consciousness which I am going to share with you.

Consciousness is not a finite quantity. Consciousness is energy. It also has the ability to turn itself into anything, to be large, to be small. When we project consciousness, you are able to find exact locations based on thought alone. The laws of physics are upended as light years can be traversed instantly.  Through a complex series of lightening fast calculations, consciousness is able to expand itself to any location, enabling you to see the location as though you are there. You are in truth at two places at once; in your body and in the travelled-to location. When we feel others, our consciousness has the capacity to recreate what they feel in instances of empathy as though we are the ones experiencing it. Healers can pinpoint disease or blocks in the body, mind, heart, and more, helping them to release just by using energy. Beyond our conscious awareness, behind this “veil” everyone speaks about is a soul that is able to make endless versions of itself and be in all places at once.  Why?  Because the idea of time is largely that, an idea.  We seem to be experiencing a sequential ordering of events, and it seems perfectly reasonable that we grow up, grow old, and then die.  Caught in the stream of energy that is time, this seems certainly so.  However, in accelerated states of consciousness, time can be experienced as an expansive present.  This enables the old idea of time to be collapsed and awareness of a multidimensional present to emerge.  But just as all-time represents a multidimensional experience, so too is consciousness multidimensional.  It’s just that most people never experience events all at once, or multiple streams of events going on at once and find that they are able to follow all of it perfectly fine.

But we can.

The trick to expanded consciousness is opening up to more energy. There is one experience that people have that while rare, often happens to enough people that they can relate to the experience because it has happened to them.  This experience the phenomenon of simultaneous dreams.  In the dream, there are multiple levels or multiple dreams happening at once.  The dreamer is aware of the levels all at once, and while the information is often processed as one dream following another, the dreamer knows that the dreams were happening all at once, but often have difficulty trying to recreate the effect of what it was like to be in two dreams at once.Outside of dreaming, there are cases where the shift in energy allows for multiple perspectives to exist, either in the same reality or in multiple realities.  Realize, too, that the oversoul is doing this as part of its normal operations, looking after hundreds, perhaps even thousands of lives in any given reality, for example.  As a result, I do think that we have these same abilities or characteristics….we just might have to dig deeper for them or shift awareness in order to realize that they are there.

When you enable this level of energy, consciousness can process more and more information. It’s like upping the voltage and giving a computer more processing power. When you are aware that this is possible, you will begin having events that make it possible to experience precisely this, provided that you remain open to it as a possibility. When you catch on to how to bring in more energy, it is like your awareness suddenly taking on more dimension. It is an experience that must be experienced directly.  Intuition is increased, awareness changes, things that seem impossible happen as if there was nothing to them. Greater levels of energy allow us access  the higher self as a natural consequence of handling more energy (we will see how this theory holds up).  It can often feel as though some hidden hand is controlling or orchestrating things, and then humans set about trying to create a narrative about this hidden hand and what it is that they think it is.  Some folks will say its the “will of the universe”  but my sense has always been that this is an aspect of the higher self, which we, the little self,  hardly ever experience. I think the same thing is done when people say that it is the will of God.  In my experience I have not found a deity that looks or behaves like a person at all.  Its existence is so incredibly large in consciousness that relating to it as though it were a person seems highly improbable.  It isn’t that this force can’t be related to, it can, and incredibly well, its just that in terms of intervention, this being simply stays out of it completely.

The point is that we just are not as aware of the higher realms as we think we are, and when we do we often carry our biases and beliefs into them and interpret what is happening in those terms.  I have found that by divesting of what it is that I think I know, the universe opens up in a fashion that is too amazing to be believed, but has very important implications for us today.

I had an experience when I was 18 where I was conscious and aware of being in four locations or focuses in a scene all at once. I was equally aware of each vantage point while this encounter took place. I was not specially trained. I hadn’t awakened, and I only knew that some yogis develop this sort of awareness to expand the mind. For me the one thing that made this possible was a very high level of energy. I learned that as we learn to handle or manipulate more energy, consciousness can be better understood. Imagine running a factory on 120 voltage when it really runs best on 240 volts. That was my experience. Normally we experience a very low level of experience, but as more energy is brought in, consciousness blooms and is capable of so much more. We are each this.

The way to learning how to handle more energy is simple, you expand your capacity to feel. The Secret to this is you let yourself be open. You allow yourself to be receptive, ready, and aware that all of this is possible. By doing the things that soften you and let’s your body and awareness to become a conduit for more energy, you set up the ideal environment for this type of experience. Breath work might help if you are new to this, and knowing how to breathe can make all the difference. By quieting the mind and being powerfully present, your energy is focused and not bled away. When you look within you conserve the energy of consciousness. When you focus outwardly, energy is blessed outward. This is a very simple principle.

 

The reason why this is important is that it can reveal to you the capacity that you have as a sentient life form here. Before you try splitting awareness, try increasing your energy first. You can feel your chakras opening and being active because you can feel them develop a sense of floating and spinning. This is increased pranic flow. Instead of trying hard, going about it as an allowing is the best way to bid the energy to flow. It may seem nonintuitive, but in not trying you open the path for aspects of the higher self to play through. I know this because I practice it, finding it not by a teacher but through direct practice.

The first step is in knowing it’s possible. I am no different than you. But in knowing, you also know about the multidimensional nature of consciousness. The first step down this path might be a meditation practice, becoming involved in seeking out what this consciousness of yours is all about, and then observing its changes objectively as you travel through this world.  And the way there is often through meditation, but there are practices such as projection of consciousness which can tell you a lot about the nature of consciousness, time, and reality.  Projecting consciousness is not easy though, but it can be done with a great deal of practice. Meditation, while easier, can offer important clues, too.  Practicing a form of meditation I always thought of as inner energy work was one very interesting way for me to activate the chakras and then observe them.  The only problem was that for a long time I lacked a good enough sense of awareness or perspective necessary to really fully understand what it was I was looking at or experiencing.  If I had, I would have not just felt the energy in the innocent way that I did and thought, “My how neat it is that I am feeling this really groovy energy in my body” and went to, “The chakras are activating, turning, and I can feel the energy massing in its core, with numerous blockages there, all having to do with stored trauma…. I have some work to do; I think next time I will begin to send my energy into those center and  try to dissolve a block or two.”

You see, as humans, lacking awareness of these things, we make up stories about them.  Sometimes the stories hit it close, but sometimes the stories are just distortions that do little to help us to relate to material that at the end of the day has no words, has no dimension, and has no real way to truly describe it in physical terms as it relates to the physical world.  And yes, this means it is very difficult to describe this stuff and very often, I don’t even try….but I think that from time to time I do need to try in order to cut through the distortive material. This experience asks of us more than we are used to….but I think we each have the innate capacity to relate to it because it isour birthright to do so.

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