Archives for posts with tag: twin flame

One outcome of my awakening experience was my personal discovery of books from early Christianity that had been largely unknown until a large cache were discovered in the desert of Egypt in 1945. One book purported to be the secret teachings of Jesus to his innermost circle. What I realized, or thought I did, was that these books were describing awakening with a pretty high degree of specificity. It wasn’t only that, but how they appeared to veil the teachings in many cases by using descriptions that made it difficult for anyone not having the experience to even know what the writers were refering to. It was to my mind like a way of coding the teachings just enough that it made it hard to understand. This may have been intentional, but it could also have been the result of not having a specific enough vocabulary with which to do the describing.

This might sound strange, but let me give you an example for what I mean. Not long into awakening, me and a person who awoke along with me (a country apart, didn’t know each other, this all happened from a distance) we both referred to what was happening to us as “it.” That was how sophisticated our vocabulary was. We had no reference point, no context, nor a teaching to guide us. Overnight, innexplicably, we had a tellepathic connection (which was proven numerous times each week). “It” fit though, because how on earth would you describe “this” (we used that term also)? It also kept what was happening to us from prying eyes and ears since who would understand or believe it? There was no real context in which to put it in. When that’s the case, you create a language or vocabulary for it much like people who are dealing with it do today (witness the use of words like “downloads” and “portals” to refer to aspects of the experience). You create your own vocabulary to help describe what is happening to you.

How could it be, I wondered, that these books were described as heresy by certain people within the church when they so clearly revealed a sophisticated understanding of a very rare state of being?

When I first found these books and realized they were pretty clearly describing my state, I considered that it was a conspiracy that they were not just shoved aside, but that in many cases, the books that were part of an unnacceptable take on Christian thought were destroyed. Now however, I am realizing it was little more than a conspiracy of ignorance…and an easy trap to fall for by anyone who was not in the know, who hadn’t had the experience, or wasn’t initiated into the system.

Was it as many scholars have asserted, that these books were jibberish, mere speculation, and could not be tied to Jesus at all? Was it true that as some Orthodox apologists have said, that these people, called “Gnostics” were late-comers? Were they forging documents, slapping Jesus’s name on them in order to give their own “wild speculations and fantasies” more caché?

I have learned that the opposition will say just about anything in order to put a good man or woman down. Maybe this speculation was right, and my initial gut sense was all wrong. There were times when this certainly appeared to be the case.

This question put me on a 15 year journey where I made myself familiar with early Christianity. I didn’t spend years in seminary getting my doctorate in divinity, nor did I learn Greek or Hebrew. I knew next to nothing about the field and I just couldn’t square my sense that these early Christians were on to something of immense importance versus what those in what would become known as the Orthodox church had to say about these teachings. Something didn’t add up.

I have realized that while I lack the background in the history of early Christianity that many scholars in the field have, I have something most (perhaps nearly all) do not: I have the experience of awakening with all of its dizzying effects, signs, and symptoms. I have read at length even scholars who specialize in the Gnostic texts speculating about the meanings of the gospel of Thomas or Philip. My sense from the beginning was that these Gnostics were the real deal, and that these works constitutes a “lost Christianity” as Bart Ehrman has described it. Having said this, I will also say that they go far afield from the words of Jesus as we have come to know them. The difference between an esoteric system and an exoteric one (the Gnostics as we refer to them ate esoteric) is that esoteric systems have much greater production of documents because the followers keep having experiences and writing about them. In the case of these early Christians, they believed that the Christ was revealed to be within a person (some Gnostics considered Paul to be a bit of a hero because he writes in his letters that God revealed to him the Christ which was within him when he was struck by a blinding light on his way to Damascus). For the Gnostics, then, the crucifixion lost much of its importance because they found salvation from the awakening to the indwelling Christ.

I ask you: what teaching by Jesus ever made anything appear to be outside of ones self? The kingdom was all within one, and seeking was done inwardly. Those who “seek him” were seeking a quality that was already there. It is worth noting that this is precisely what most Eastern traditions that describe awakening say. It is also a completely different story that Orthodox Christians have put forward since about 100-130 A.D.

I will say, however, that there were times in my work on this subject where it looked like the Gnostics were a later “invention” or movement and could not be definitively pinned to Jesus. I was, for a time, considering that for as insightful as they were, there just wasn’t a connection to Jesus’s life. I got used to the idea that these were amazing people who spun their own insights into what the Christ was all about. Maybe they were a seperate development that still managed to “get there” even though they came later.

That was before I found out about the work of Walter Bauer who did a study or survey of documents from earliest Christianity, who, in the 1930’s (and before the discovery in 1945 of this cache of early books in Egypt) determined that heresy came first and Orthodoxy came later. Orthodoxy, based on Bauer’s work, placed Orthodoxy a hundred years after the heretics (give or take a decade or two). Source: Orthodoxy & Heresy In Earliest Christianity

Heresy has always been described by the church as that branch off of the “main vine” that represents a divergence from the central truths of the dogma (see church father Origen since he originated this concept). This begged the question: how could this be so in light of what Bauer found? This may have been the result of the church, a group within it, seeking to hide the truth about how things were in the early days of the movement. It could have been as simple as ignorance by another group who didn’t have the deeper teachings (and thus could easily not understand them even when they saw them).

Then there is the troubling reality that Bart Ehrman points out in his book Jesus Interupted which is that most of the discoveries we have made in the last 100 years of Christian documents are nearly all Gnostic (which is used to describe this group of Christians today—gnosticism meaning ‘one who knows’ or who has inner knowledge not attained through books or instruction alone). Ehrman asks pointedly, did the Orthodoxy not have anything to say that there have been so few new discoveries of Orthodox books or letters during the same time period? It is plausible, then, that Gnosticism was far more robust, engaged, and involved in the matters of Christian thought than the early heresy hunters would have us believe. The historical record is certainly showing us this in spades in this regard. In Bauer’s work he points out letters that show that the church gave up trying to convert Asia Minor because the heretics were so numerous and resistant to their message. It would be easy to just say they were deluded and utterly lost, but it hides the fact that this was a situation that had always been described as no big deal by those in the Orthodox wing of the church, something more like a few flies that needed to be swatted away as the Orthodoxy has tried to represent it as. No, “heresy” was much more developed than Orthodoxy was, and at a very early period. It begs the question as to which tradition was the original or earliest one.

When I think about what happens to our leaders today it is easy to see how each side in a political campaign seeks to demonize and dethrone the leader who is in the opposition. Those with the loudest voices wind up being heard and believed. We are well aware of the sentiment that the winners of a war get to tell the history as they want it told.

Orthodoxy won the war of ideas not because their thinking was superior but because they were more worldly and systematic in their willingness to take down what they considered an opponent. You can easily see just how harsh the rhetoric was by reading the writings of these noted antiheretics like Tertulian, St. Justin, and others like them. In fact, we know a lot about early Christian “heretics” because the diatribes about them were so long-winded (and detailed) by those who were opposing them. Christians don’t like the idea that there may have been a larger story here because they have lived with a version of a story they have come to know and love. But to say that a belief system is right simply because we have lived with it for 1600 years or more is not evidence that it is necessarily right or the final word. It only means that one group stamped out another group such that their knowledge base was silenced.

Yes it seems strange and foreign, and yet this is just what archeology has revealed and the voice that was silenced was showing us the very keys to the kingdom. These keys as I call them are a suit of methods that appear in the so-called Gnostic writings mostly found in the Nag Hammadi Libray but that are also found in documents discovered earlier like the Pistis Sophia. These documents describe the same phenomenon as those in Eastern schools of though which describe the process of enlightenment.

I am not suggesting that these people went to India, but managed it on their own and that the “ressurrection” of the soul was achieved by attaining a quality that one culture called Christ while another called it Buddha. As such, this knowledge wasn’t predicated on belief alone, but pointed to a universal quality that every person has regardless of race or creed.

Rumi, the great poet and mystic once wrote about how we all squabble over the names of things and that we try to differentiate the light falling in one place as fundamentally different from the light falling in another when it is all the same source, the same thing. I think Orthodoxy tried to do this in an effort to carve out its own seemingly unique niche when in fact it had discarded important elements along the way that would have enriched it tremendously.

The Mar Saba Discovery

Then along comes Morton Smith in the 20th century. Morton Smith claimed to have made a discovery of a book in Mar Saba near Israel in the early 1960’s that contained writing by Clement, a figure from early Christianity. Clement quotes lines from a book that he calls “Secret Mark” which was, as he described it, part of a private teaching Jesus gave to his closest followers. Clement emphasizes that these teachings were never spoken before the uninitiated, a situation Jesus cautions about even in the synoptic gospels when he refers to swine and pearls, those who were “without.” In this case, Jesus was pointedly obfuscating his teaching so the Gentiles could not understand lest they be saved. The book was intended for the “perfecting” of those who were followers of this Jesus.

Morton Smith took photographs of the document and when he returned later to examine the book again, it had vanished. It has not been seen since. Here’s the thing: forensic examination of the photographs themselves have established that the book is an authentic document of the era. Christian apologists go so far as to criticize the writing as being “too Clementine” which to me may well be enough to prove the point. The writing style is consistent with what historians know about Clement, who has many writings attributed to him. Those within scholarly circles who are Christian apologists set upon Smith in attack after attack, however.

The letter was about one thousand words and had been copied onto the endpages of a seventeenth century book which no one had ever mentioned before. The find shook the scholarly world, although it’s existance made hardly a ripple in popular Christian circles because the letter denounced the group involved as heretical. That seems to be enough for any reasonable believer of the faith, but it raised important questions for many who find the discoveries of this kind to be suggestive of what Bauer had found to be the case and which continuing discoveries like the Nag Hammadi Library texts had done two decades prior, which was whether we have been told the whole story. Here is an excerpt from an article in The Nation about the discovery:

These heretics, as Clement and Theodore saw them, claimed that they possessed a secret version of the Gospel of Mark. Jesus, they believed, had taught his followers that they were freed from the law and could do whatever they wanted without sinning. According to one of their Christian critics, Irenaeus, they actually thought they earned salvation by “doing all those things which we dare not either speak or hear of, nay, which we must not even conceive in our thoughts.”

The Nation, Gospel Secrets: The Biblical Controversies of Morton Smith, January 8, 2009, Anthony Grafton.

It is worth noting that as a result of scholarly research we now know that it was Mark’s gospel that was the earliest of all the gospels. While Clement denounced the teachings in Secret Mark, he did not say that this Mark didn’t exist. Here we have a proof that books like Secret Mark were later destroyed by the Orthodox church, with copies that have yet to surface. Consider what would happen if the prevailing attitudes and beliefs of today were against you, what would you do? Would you perhaps hide away the books that you do have in order to preserve them? If your books were unapproved of, they would be destroyed with fire.

While some scholars like Ehrman have suggested that the Nag Hammadi find may well have been an effort on the part of local Christians to free up space in their libraries by burying the collection several kilometers away, I am reminded of an email from Elaine Pagels recently that the burial of the NHL documents is well within the same time frame as the letter by Bishop Athanasius, written in 365 A.D. which spelled out what books were to be acceptable for use in the church. Every book Athanasius mentioned in his list is contained in the New Testament today. It was Athanasius’s letter that would set the die for all that would follow. Anything else would come under scrutiny and risk being remanded to the flames. Remember, before the printing press, books were copied by hand in what could take many months to complete. Burning one book or two could end an important thread within the early movement. Back then, in the first century, stories abounded about the life of Jesus, an oral tradition, that was only later written down after Jesus’s death.

This article is helpful to gain the full scope of the issue about how the New Testament was formed.

My thesis has been and continues to be that Jesus was a man who attained awakening. The books attributed to his private teaching happen to also describe what is known in India as kundalini. While there isn’t compelling evidence that Jesus had gone to India, there is no good reason to suggest that in order to awaken he would need to study under an enlightened guru either. It’s possible he got instruction locally from John the Baptist, or the Essenes. We just don’t know because for as a man as famous as Jesus is, there is a huge gaping hole that is unaccounted for in his life in terms of time. I never studied under a guru and managed to trigger the first initiatory steps into awakening on my own. Likewise, it is quite possible that Jesus did the same. All he would need would be a quality of intense curiosity and a drive to seek. I suspect that this is just what Jesus meant when he said seek and ye shall find. He sought, and he found. But what did he find? He described it as a world that was within each person. At no point does Jesus ever say that his kingdom was outside of himself. All of this was an inside job. So meditation would have been part of it, something Jews of the time were well familiar with. The right kind of meditation would do it, nothing fancy, but something that would serve to achieve a first release of inner emotional material followed by inner inquiry.

It turns out that I did precisely what the heretical Jesus prescribed, which was to remove what keeps one divided within the self. This is actually a prescription Jesus mentions in the gospel of Thomas and mentions in the gospel of Phillip. The way I achieved this was through a conversation with a holy man when I felt a long-standing frustration guilt, and frustration with the universe, afterwhich everything began to change. I unburdened myself of a giant knot that had me tied up for decades, it was almost like an insurmountable impasse for me at the time.

I suspect that the story of Jesus’s baptism was like this or served a similar purpose for him because in the Gnostic texts he is teaching about how to attain the kingdom by resolving what divides you within, and a teacher always relays to his or her students how they achieved it themselves. The elephant in the room is if Jesus was God why was he going to John to have his sin removed? Why did Jesus need baptism? He obviously felt like he needed it, and instead of seeking the God, according to Orthodox scripture, which had always been within him. It’s a huge leap around the question that Christians never seem to ask. I think that it is a perfectly reasonable question to ask and actually makes loads of sense once the private teachings are known and taken into consideration.

With John, who claimed he could relieve the burden of sin through ritual washing, or baptism, Jesus was relieved enough of his own burden for the first flashes of “the light” to begin showing through. Jesus also spent forty days fasting and praying in the wilderness near where John was located. I will point out that this is the same approximate time that the Taoists prescribe for awakening the secret of the golden flower, their take on the awakening process. Similarly, in Hindu practice the number of 40 to 45 days comes up a lot for a time frame. It takes some effort to break through the veil of the earthly self to attain to the “heavenly” one (regardless of what tradition you ascribe to). Orthodoxy glosses over this precisely because it knows nothing about these practices. Then, when presented with the very means to do so, they cried foul heresy. The kingdom thus was found and then lost within a few short generations. The apostolic era came to an end not because of some God-ordained event with dubious reasoning but precisely because people no longer had access to the teachings that would have kept the era chugging along nicely. All of the signs of the holy ghost, and of awakening, were gone because the knowledge had exited the building.

If Jesus had awakened, the libertine attitude shown in the works of some of the Christian mystics like the Carpocrations that Clementine was speaking out against in his letter mentioned earlier has a very good chance of being true. Awakening pushes you beyond the normally accepted mores of the time by virtue of the fact that the energy of awakening vivifies and stimulates the body in new and novel ways. The Hindu describe it as a libidinous force, a creative current that leads one to new levels of bliss that are experienced and described as orgasmic. It’s not that it is literally so, but that this is the only way to aptly describe it so it can be halfway understood. Awakening absolutely impacts the master glands of the body resulting in high outputs of all sorts of hormones. Kundalini a sexual energy? I have always felt that the energy of awakening stimulates all sorts of things, including libido. Kundalini does much more than just stimulating libido.

Many people who are awakened know about the futility of skirting issues. No, the energy seems to push us to leap headlong into the cleansing fire that is the holy ghost, the feminine aspect, what in India would be called Shakti or the Ida current. All of this is consistent with awakening, and there is no reason to think it wasn’t the case with Jesus.

The problem with the Orthodoxy was that none of the secret teachings made any sense to them. How was it possible that by finding the savior within, the Christ, one washed away ones shame of human sexuality? Or guilt, or any other issue that represents stored emotional material that awakening can help the person to clear? Awakening can do this, though. It cleanses and returns you to a renewed mind and state of being. It is a salvific force.

It is now more likely that Jesus did have a private teaching and that the synoptic gospels represent only a thin slice of a larger picture. While Clement railed against this “Secret Mark” as heretical, I ask the question: says who? On whose authority? Why should I pay any attention to someone who was never included in the private teachings of a realized master? Even when Jesus says “No one comes to the father except by me” Christians don’t consider how that statement could mean something significantly different than what they assume it does. In Jesus’s day he was the only person around who had attained to the level that he had, so yes, Jesus was the only game in town. Like any great teacher, if you wanted to get there quickly, you studied under him like any teacher anywhere who had a grip on the esoteric or hidden things.

I had been telepathically connected to her, tied as it were, after an effort on her part to pull me into her field forcefully at the point of her awakening. This was all done nonlocally. Anyone who says “twin flames” cannot force you to do anything you don’t want to do hasn’t experienced what I did. It was the equivalent of having someone charge into your inner life unbidden, unasked, and insinuating themselves into your life.

You might want to believe that these connections are divine and predetermined, or the result of a process where there are no mistakes. I can confirm that the wild card is human will and when it is exercised unconsciously we want to call it “fate” or the “will of God.” I can say that it is possible for these connections to be forged without our consent and against our hopes dreams or desires. It’s one of the things that hardly anyone will tell you because most feel so caught up in the engine of bliss that it can blind them to a world of faults. I think that the bliss keeps one from critically examining the phenomenon. Perhaps that is part of the point, a cosnic stab at unraveling our own personal errors in the hope of returning everything back to love. “Shush….all of those things are details, all that matters now is love. Now comes the age of forgiveness” it seems to say in the light of experiences such as the one I encountered in early 2011.

I am one who tries to make lemonaide out of those lemons, so at one point after dozens of preturbations and freakouts and contractions on her part, I ceased trying to help outwardly. I just stopped. I then began speaking to her higher self. Clearly, for as upside down as this was, it must surely be an effort on the part of her self in time and her soul (unbound by it) to get the memo on her own, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes it is with the aid of angels whose unsung roles are at work in the bakground.

I got the idea of just speaking to her soul instead to the self after realizing that she was always locked in one drama or another. I sat quietly on my bed before sleep and focused my attention on her and I began to tell her how beneficial bliss is for healing, in the hopes that she might inquire further into the topic on her own. When I was stripping paint from trim outside my house a few days later, my mind would again speak to her, and it would be all about the power of bliss. I would do what I could to slip the idea in through back channels instead of telling her directly. If I told her directly, I knew she would resist it because of her egoic innability to accept what I offered to her as truth. Instead, I made it so it would seem it occurred to her herself. It turned out that it worked very well.

After a week of my daily meditations and inward sugestions to her about the benefits of bliss, she started asking me about bliss out of the blue. There was no better confirmation that something was working than this. Here was a topic we had never spoken about at all and now she was suddenly asking me about it. I kept quiet about my inner suggestions and began to tell her about the benefit of bliss. She asked me in a morning text exchange that first week, “So do you feel bliss?” I replied that I did feel bliss. She asked how often. I explained that it tended to be nearly constant. She responded as if she couldn’t believe that a person could do that. I assured her it was possible, and that I had reached that in my work. She wondered how that was even possible. It was here that I knew that a transfer was possible because I did truly feel bliss most of the time and that she was becoming open to the idea that this state was possible for a person. It had taken years for me to come to such a place (feeling bliss in this way).

Those with whom we share these connections can feel what we feel to greater and lesser degrees, depending on how the personality is set up. In her case there was a lot of resistance and fear which got in the way sometimes of an aligning between portions of the self that can benefit from this type of work. When I would think of her she would feel it but she interpreted it as my wanting to be involved with someone else. She once messaged me explaining how she could feel my desire for another woman, how I would kiss her, even. At the time I let her think what she wanted to think because it served to drive her away from me (I was stalked for years by this person), but the truth was, it was her that I was thinking about. This helped me to see how we can receive information very clearly, but we can step in a distort with our personalities the meaning of the information. There was an edge of concern that she might distort what I was sending her.

Being able to do the work completelly on the etheric or subtle level because of how much ego was present in this case was a good outcome and was probably the ONLY way she was going to learn how. It was better to let her think it was all her own idea…and the thing was, it was because she had to first accept the idea from me as if it was her own. You can’t make them accept an idea but you can use your telepathic connection to plant seeds. Just keep planting them and don’t need to be the one who gets the accolades. Most growth happens this way which is the result of seeds having been planted in this way.

When she began asking me about this bliss, it was then a very simple matter to transfer to her the awareness the bliss field or bliss body to her telepathically while also using our verbal communication as one medium of focus and exchange for an event that was largely taking place internally or etherically.

I said that it was very easy to feel bliss and all she needed to do was to follow the steps that I spelled out to her which involved breathing and focusing only on the breath. I told her how to breathe and the breaths to take. I was breathing in bliss and breathing out bliss, transmitting outward as she breathed inward. Understand, I was not THE source for the bliss. I know that what I feel as bliss is just the awareness of a field of bliss that exists. I am a miner of gold that already exists, you see. I could hold my hands out etherically to her and have her respond because of the nature of our entanglement or connection. I didn’t need to say this was happening, and it it’s best that you do not mention it. Feel it, then transmit it directly through feeling. You become a lighthouse. Understand, this is only for things that WILL directly benefit them (not you). Anything less is manipulation and generates negative karma for yourself.

In the moments during my breathing suggestion, she very suddenly began feeling bliss run all through her. I knew at that moment that the door had opened for her and as long as she didn’t respond with fear, this state would grow and establish itself. It was so easy to do, really. She just had to be open to it Bliss is not what you do, it is what you are, so this is easy if the right things are in place. I explained that she had gotten it and that she could go back to it anytime that she wanted, another neat trick of suggestion, which forms the very useful belief that this state can he accessible at any time or in any place. From all accounts, it has been precisely this for her. It worked because it was all based in what is true. Bear in mind, it could have gone a different way, in which case I would need to have dropped the idea after a while. There is something important about not wanting it or needing it too much, or obsessing over it too much.

Sometimes it is easier for the egoically inclined to think they are doing all of this themselves, especially someone like the person I had to deal with for a time. Tricky? Maybe a little, but it wasn’t an effort to manipulate her but to provide for her something thst she sorely needed in her world as what I refer to as her role of “professional victim.” Its hard to know how dissempowering such a state of mind is to us when it is you who are buried in it. In fact, there is no use in even trying to explain it. It is easier to plant seeds in the hope that they will take root (all of this is done nonlocally).

I tell you this because you might be dealing with someone you are connected to that has been hard to deal with. This method or approach could be of some benefit. In order to feel it best, you have to feel it natively in your own skin first and then imagine whatever that state of mind is, being offered, not pushed, on the other over and over. Do this at various times during the day. Don’t be obsessive about it, treat it as a casual thought without a hope of an outcome. You do though, offer up the suggestion of its benefits as you feel them yourself (because through you they will feel it).

I later found out that gurus in India teach their students in this way by holding certain states in mind, which students will tend to pick up on in meditation. I thought how perfect.

In the Indian tradition they said what a great responsibility it was for the guru. I myself thought how easy all of this was, how this method made growth and healing much easier when I stopped trying to help outwardly and began working inwardly. Perhaps it can be a subtle way to help the other grow and heal. It is like osmosis.

~Nemasté

This just in from a friend.

There is a lot here about the interplay between the sexual polarity of man and woman. This struck a chord with me, underlining how much we often allow our own misalignment and deeper issues to get in the way of a more honest and realistic approach to who we are not just physically but psychicaly (emotional/psychologically).

Worth a listen…

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/deeper-with-sophie-josephina/id1518161721?i=1000485819892

Enjoy~

Parker

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To understand, to really get what this means, involves seeing so deeply into your own inner truth and beyond your karmic blinders that you can comprehend the linkage between the popularly termed “twin soul” and “twin flame” concept and karma.

Karmic relationships are just that; drawn together by the effect that unfinished business has on us.  The reason for the draw, however, is confused in nearly everyone.  It is hard to penetrate the veil of our perception so the draw is seen as fated.  It isn’t.  This is the single biggest trap of them all when it comes to the “twin” idea.  We are so driven by our draw we just don’t care if its something else.  We go for the draw because.  And when we do, we are effectively stopping the process of soulful evolution.

Big buzz-kill.  But it is so.  And if you are the curious type, looking deeper will also take you even deeper.  Wouldn’t it be good to truly master yourself?  This is what I am doing.  What’s up with you?  What’s keeping your mind running without a soulution in sight? Now you are talking.

ded82-keysRecently….less than 24 hours ago, I mentioned how I had sought to make contact with some people with whom I had been connected through awakening.  I walked away from them in the hopes of clearing the karma that existed between us and which was fueling the draw.

Last night after coming home from a nice evening talking with friends and reflecting on what I have been working on, I continued my conversation with this person whom I have been out of touch with for so long.  I had been asking her what it was that she felt, deep down, it was that she needed from me.  The assumption was that most of these connections are fueled by karma.  If you talk to people who have had spontaneous memories concerning their soul connection (twin, etc.,) so often it centers around a relationship being cut short or something that happens that leaves the two feeling as though things were not finished.

So much of this material isn’t rational so its not something that you can resolve using the rational mind.  People do try.  I have, and it doesn’t work.  In fact, the best way to navigate through all of this is by way of feeling.  When you consider that this all happened as a result of feeling at odds with your feelings, then touching deep into your well of feelings is the way to resolve this.  This can be a little slippery to some people, but what I can tell you is that feeling is not emotion.  Feeling is like a sensory ability.  And so, the fear is that you will feel pain. But this is not true.  Feelings may be bittersweet, they might even hurt, but they are experienced in order that the old material is allowed to go.  Imagine if you were to just bottle a feeling up and stick it deep down inside of you.  When we don’t face our feelings completely what was a small issue looms big.  Mice become dragons.  they really do.  They have for me.

I had three central connections that I felt I need to clear karma with.  I have asked each of these people the same question as a way to frame the conversation.  All but one have been willing to engage in some thoughtful dialog about all of this. With so much healing having taken place these last six or seven years, it has meant that there has been some pleasant surprises for healing.

So I got to ask this person this question.  Following my intuition I began to speak the words I FELT she needed to hear.  I asked myself what was it that I resisted the most saying?  What was it that I had held back from this person?  How could I help her in moving forward?  Instead of seeking to go back down into the old energy, I sought, through intention, to touch the surface of the feeling and, acting as a mirror, disturb its surface enough so that it might help her to feel whatever it was she needed to feel. The only reason why I took this approach was because it FELT right.  I went into this with the intent of clearing this up, so I had to have some chance of it being successful, I reasoned.

There was a pause after I had said what I had said. It turned into a longer pause and the words came back that a dam had burst.  Then a flurry of words…..exclamations of relief….thankfulness.  It seemed that what I said had helped dislodge something that had somehow caught this person in an old snag.

The interesting thing is that in healing, as we heal, we open up the room for others to heal also.  I was discussing the way all of this has appeared to me to a friend recently, which is that instead of the idea of a cluster of worlds, which scientists are calling “strings” I think that we have an infinite number of them.  Instead of our living in a world that is set, we move through different worlds non-spatially depending on each and every act and choice we make.  As I heal myself in one of these, I find the world where this healing exists….and the people there?  They also reflect a slightly different state of healing, too.  It all corresponds to a vibratory state.  Endless worlds all based on our focus and belief of what we feel we are capable of.  The events in this new world actually happen differently because it is a slightly different version…..

So here I am.  What will this change press or change in me?  I don’t know.  I prefer not to know.  I prefer, instead, to ask for the highest.  I will let the multiverse bring it.  So many want to make karma into a punishment, a way that people “get theirs.”  But this view of the world is a human one.  This is the same attitude that religious extremists carry that have to do with people burning in hell because they believe a god would cast them into a pit of fire.  Silently gloating in the process.  We actually WANT people to suffer as we have suffered.  It is a kink in us that is best worked out of us so we can see that the world was not built with such limiting terms of punishment and reward.  The world is as we are.  Don’t like it?  We each can change it!

Be the change.

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