Archives for the month of: March, 2013


It has been a whirlwind of activity lately, so no posting.  I don’t know how I am even going to bring all of this new material to the fore, if I do at all.  With all of it seeming to muscle its way to the forefront of my awareness as I try to sift and observe all of it and what the ramifications of this new material  could be, A simpler little element comes forward as a result of a quick read on some experiences with awakening in others.



I have been dealing with reading energy for a long time.  It came when I was 18 and I am now 48.  I have tested and parsed and studied it through my own perspective and experience and one thing I can tell you about the light body is that in my last leg prior to awakening, I became aware that my life became a study in how to build a greater capacity for energy in my body.  My light body.  This light body, which is composed of a vast network of “lines” carrying energy comprise the chakra system, the highway of life force and feeling and thought energy (even though I know you were taught the brain is in charge of all of this—there is more to it….much much more….)


I see abilities as any skill or ability.  There is talk that developing psi abilities is a trap for ego.  I can see how this could be, yes, but I also know that by understanding the feel of ego and its presence as it moves into awareness, you can become vigilant and at least help to keep it in check by being aware of how it sneaks up on you.  It requires a near-constant focus that keeps you out of the tendency ego has of identifying with the past and worrying about the future.  By allowing the junk just be the junk, you can see the steaming heap of your life and really not worry about it.  It was what it was.  The present give new opportunity as long as you do not get tricked into thinking you need to actually drag that heap into the present.  In so doing, you train yourself to keep ego at a safer distance.  By doing this, you also keep yourself more open to the broader flow of your being.  Ego is a gatekeeper, and is useful for very specific things, but in other areas, it fails miserably.  It makes you miserable. By not allowing the emergence of abilities to make you feel somehow important or good or bad, you can stay neutral.



This isn’t so hard to do.  And really, ego is always there.  You can’t kill it off.  You really can’t.  You can focus in different areas of your own consciousness.  Without ego you simply would not be able to identify between me and yourself.  While that could lead to an expansion of consciousness, it would also lose you in a way when dealing in THIS reality.  Being able to develop your capacities as a human being is important.  Being able to develop abilities that rest within the light body is also just as potentially important as learning to play the guitar, or to cook, or to parent, or teach, or sing, or to do math.  Psi abilities are just like this.  It requires, I have found, a capacity for being able to let go and allow the light body to build energy.  As you build your capacity for energy in that body through a simple flowing method, you can find that this energy brings with it abilities.  Intuition, sight, clairvoyance, claireaudience, reading auras, sensing energy, the capacity to move energy for healing purposes, to name a few.


As you build energy in the light body, the inner sensing of that body (think of it like a subtle version of your physical body that has senses for dealing with energy instead of physical matter), the chakras become sensitized and this leads to the opening of these centers in a rich and powerful way for you.  The more energy flowing, the more possible it is that you trip a threshold within that causes abilities to rise to the surface of awareness.  These can wax and wane, but all tend to come and go based on how you move energy in your light body.  The more charged you are, the more present these abilities can be.  This process can clear out blocks in the sensing centers which makes it more possible to utilize the sensing end of those centers for touching on the world of the energetic.  You enter an inspired state and stay there.  You do not come back down to earth, which you THINK you MUST do or is INEVITABLE.  None of this could be further from the truth, though. You just have to let go.  You do not GENERATE this energy, you tap it from the universal flow.  You allow yourself to feel joyous and alive.  You let go of dark moods, and you also let go of a sense that somehow you are limited.  You aren’t. I will tell you that for as much as some have said that one ought not be curious about abilities of this type, it has been my childlike curiosity and wonder, a very innocent sense of being, has been the very thing that has led me to places within myself that I don’t think I could have gotten to any other way.  I allowed it without realizing I was doing that.



Later on, I am going to address the second leg of the quantum universe and its effects.  At its core is a thesis of mine that I have not yet read about in the same way that I think is the core of understanding the universe and how it really does work but that has been hidden and obfuscated by our various viewpoints…from religious dogma to scientific dogma….to day to day dogma and belief….be they biases or incomplete perspective due to lack of experience in the area.  I will write more when I have the chance.  The result of years of experience has begun to coalesce into a vision that I suppose I had in my head for years but which is now beginning to live in my body and move me into new places of understanding based less on abstractions as they are in the moment by moment experience of an ever-expanding awareness and “understanding.” I use quotes simply because this understanding is not knowledge-based.  I have more to say, but for now….


Building these capacities is like placing or finding the rungs on a ladder within you.  By keeping ego in check, you can keep from being overdone with ego and enter more innocently into this world that will itself, if you focus, bring you to a new world of understanding.  It is a wild world, one which I think you will find that you knew existed all along but were perhaps too shy to cry it out to the world.  The realm of magic, or what we have come to call magic, is a touchstone to this “world” of experience.



Until that time, I bid you goodnight and best dreams…..













Some time ago when I began to utilize my awakening to understand it better, I found myself being plunged into these worlds….worlds that were right here in front of me, the inside of things.  Over a period of several days I found myself caught in a reverie whose content was fueled by this energy moving in me. Intelligent, it would seem to begin to show me things.  I wrote a piece back then about how this thing “spoke” to me.  It didn’t really speak, but rather communicated through the movement of energy, in the silent syllables of feeling, the shape and form of bliss, the penetrating power and the enveloping loveliness of this presence that was, for me, two-in-one who were creating a third energy, which at the time I called the child. I would later see in Gnostic texts that this was precisely what the early Christians were talking about and which the later versions of the institution had either weeded out or had watered down.  It spoke mutely, loudly, somehow with nothing but its beautiful body of being and taking my hand, it took me deep down inside of itself.

“Look at the trees” it said.

I looked at the trees, not really sure where all of this was headed.  Focused, I felt as if I was meeting it “there” and it grabbed hold of me like a lover on a first date, slinking out into the night to the river where she bade me to slip into the cool dark waters of her mystery. I was seduced, it seemed almost to smile this energetic presence flowing in me, for it was in the openness of my mind and heart in this place that it could fill me with all of this juiciness, its being, what it is, and what we all are.  I was pulled gently but assuredly down into the trees, into a limb, a leaf, then into cell structures, then past those into a great expanse that opened up as the level of the compounds and elements emerged….atoms….and then we broke through that level into subatomic particles until I reached a place where there was virtually nothing else there except something that contained the very essence of this energy within it.  I was shown a particle that was for want of a better word an anti-particle.  This anti-particle did not have any mass.  It was both “matter” in a kind of conditional way since it was both matter and energy, and so  this odd hybrid thing  literally formed the entirety of the universe. Here I was shown an energetic principle that was startlingly similar to the energetic principle in the world I knew with the energy. These particles were paradoxes. One would be charged negatively (feminine) and one positively (masculine) and they worked like keys and locks. They worked to create vast amounts of energy.  Within each particle, though, was the negative and positive, but each particle, if I can even call it that, had both charges but with a dominance that led to one polarity or another. Within these particles was the entirety of the universe.  It was almost like dna that didn’t just hold the information for one body or even one species, but for EVERYTHING.  I could not wrap my head around this, but it was very clear that these things, whatever they were, were the basis for everything.  They were the smallest and yet were the biggest even though this had nothing at all to do with space.  That was kind of heavy, but somehow made perfect sense once you know just how interconnected the universe is.  When you awaken to cosmic consciousness you become aware of everything.  I also know that it is hard to identify anything specific sometimes in this vast bliss-field, but it can be done through focusing attention just as I had done.  I was curious, I wanted to know how “it” worked, what “it” was….life the universe and everything.

These particles formed alliances or sorts.  They would merge into a wave form and this might serve to be an event, it might also be a bench, or rock, or particle of air.  How on earth they were able to do this, I cannot explain, but all of this was connected to a vast choreography that was going on at a pace that was so fast that we here at our level just cannot even glimpse the effect of what it is that they do.  What these particles did was to enter into our world from a place that is everywhere. They entered in an orderly fashion that seemed entirely random and yet, they slipped right into the correct spot for one terribly brief fraction of a fraction of a moment before disappearing again to emerge somewhere, someplace else.   They simply would wink into our reality or world and then expend their energy, much like a static charge.  Once this was done, this particle would then wink out only to be replaced by another particle in the exact position it left. This was perfectly timed, and thus the world took on a sense of permanence or solidity. This was subatomic, but may have been far smaller than what we consider to be subatomic now (as readily discoverable things within an atom for example).  I somehow “knew” that when the energy was released, the particle winked out of our reality and would find itself in another reality….where it was I do not know but my mind felt, intuitively,  that it had to do with densities of energy or space….and that there are different densities of dimension somehow….and that depending on how the energy was expended would be a determining factor in where that particle would wind up going next.  If you followed one of these particles, it would be like swimming through a continuous stream of water that has different densities and thus requires different energy output, a shiny particle that would glint in the sunlight and then seem to disappear only to reappear moments later somewhere else. One area or current might expend all of its energy while in another area, it would somehow gain energy due to its constantly changing polarity.  Almost as though it was first yin, then yang, then yin, then yang again.  Something LIKE this.  How on earth this manifests from a physics standpoint, I cannot say, except that it would probably not be something that is entirely observable or understood except that these particles simply appear to emerge from nowhere and go back into nothingness. Except they don’t just disappear.  They would just SEEM to do so from our limited perspective.  They do this incredibly fast.  I had the feeling like a second was slowed or stretched out far enough for me to comprehend or see what was going on. This second was itself stretched to something that was in the range of minutes, perhaps a second was half an hour worth of time.  I don’t know how fast this makes this particle, but it was slow to them at that level of space while being incredibly fast to us normally. And these particles exuded their own form of awareness.  I think they had very little sense of ego, that or they didn’t care if they showed up as phenomenon, energy, or form, or all of the above and perhaps all at once. This began to get complicated as I considered multiple parallel universes all happening and connected yet different. Do the particles in us resonate with those in our counterparts in other realities and times?  They do, they can, and this can also happen in all of matter. Walking on water, for example, if this was indeed an actual event in the physical world.

All along, these danced with the most sublime bliss and joy.  These were the creators.  They helped to support or form our world.  Maybe they did not create the reality, but they became the construction crew that supported it….built the trees, the air, the people…..nanosecond by nanosecond.  As they moved in and out of our world, the world almost seemed to shimmer just a bit….a shimmer that we do not detect but take for what is real. We have an effect on what some of this shimmering stuff does and is the core of a great secret that I think could help us move mountains….

What I also saw was that these particles would dance in response to the energy in my body.  I knew that I could affect reality from the most basic level in a certain way…..this was limited, though.  I could not get in the way of anything that had to happen, but I could, shall we say, collaborate with these energies or particles in building bigger and bigger waveforms built out of these particles.  These particles, it seemed to me, were consciousness, energy, that could slip in and out of energetic states to create the barest nub of mass or physicality. Just a nub.  Barely noticeable.  Like one small krill in the ocean is seen as perhaps entirely inconsequential, and yet as they swarm, they become some of the biggest masses of life in the ocean and thus support vast lifeforms. Well, okay, not a perfect metaphor or analog, but maybe you get the idea.

All of this is terribly dry, I know, and none of it was experienced that way.  Here was the force I felt in my body as the “two” currents of masculine and feminine, the Shakti and Shiva in absolute love with one another (in my body….) and they were there in those particles, doing their dance of creation.  And atoms did this because they were formed from this stuff.  Cells did it because they were formed from it. The consciousness of the cell rode the wave of the energy and its phenomenon when it chose to be an event, just as we ride upon the great wave of cellular life to know our reality.  And then, at the mass scale, we are all rendered back into a single cell, the earth, as the collective cell of earth struggles to find its own form of fulfillment.  Ad this cell swings through what we consider vast space in a sea of other star cells and planets…..everything different at each level and yet entirely the same inside in principle. Spirals in atomic forms, spirals in water, spirals in weather, spirals in planet formations, spirals in galaxies….So all of this was charged with this energy.  What was in me was in it.  It was everywhere.

IN this experience was the holographic nature of everything.  Everything is seeded with it, a kind of cosmic dna.  NO, none of this is dead matter, and while you might consider I am off my rocker if you have not experienced it, those who have awakened have no doubt experienced similar things. It’s certainly not the drug of kundalini. I know this because reason told me that if the energy in me could connect to perfectly with everything, then I would see evidence of how my own thoughts and will was causing an effect on this world of the incredibly small. It was here, the quantum world where I discovered the missing link between the very small and very large.  There IS a continuity between these worlds and I write about it in my book (that was a not so subtle way to tease you into giving it a read once it is published…only because it has been so much work).  Once you understand this and you know how the energy in you must be balanced in order for this to take place, you will find uncanny events begin to take shape.  We do this naturally, but imagine those who awaken learning how to effect things in a “thy will be done” sort of way, acting as conduits for divine energy, which is nothing short of cosmic energy which is everywhere!

It is everywhere. IN everything.  As you awaken, you awaken to the intense bliss in flowers, how they yearn to release pollen and to be fertilized, to feel the growth, the cyclical nature of energy and life…..all of life, even “dead” matter yearns in this same way.  Surely it does.  I know it does.  the universe showed me through these incredible events that involve the entraining of these subatomic particles that form everything.  This is, I believe, the basis for what we have termed magic.  We do not understand it, so we called it miracles or magic or the will of one god or another down through time.  For those who were fearful, those of us who held its secret in us were often persecuted for it.  Thus, for a very long time, many feel the collective caution of not speaking out for fear of being not just ridiculed, but having our lives ended. Now for as severe and hard as this might all seem, it is actually connected into this very ancient of knowledge, and is tied to the one side of this energetic spectrum that has been missing….which is the yin, the negative charge, the feminine, the dreaming womb of the All.  It is precisely as she has begun her trek back into our own individual awarenesses that the seemingly impossible becomes possible.

You can call me a dreamer, and I would smile and say thank-you, for in my dreaming SHE emerges rich, powerful, beautiful and potent.  What she will offer us is something we cannot even begin to imagine.  Like a baby growing in her womb, the child which she births will do great things.  Last this child was spoken of, it was a he, but this child is not a he or a she.  It is the product of both, a transcendental and transformative power that comes from woman and her consort man.

You can know similar things….you just focus yourself in that energy and bid it come.  Let it take you, just surrender to it and then feel the yearning to know.  Then allow it to take your imaging centers, your imagination, and utilize it.  It will SEEM as if it is being imagined at first, but it will have a solid core of something more than just imagination within it. This is slippery for some people, but at a certain level of reality, the seeming imaginary actually is becoming actualized.  In the astral realm, for example, thoughts become solid objects.  The more energy that you give them, the more solid or permanent they seem to be.  Just as dreaming is threaded through by the imagination, it is the servant of the soul in communicating information from various places within you.  In symbols. Even my experience was itself something of a dream whereby I was led along by the energy using a certain facsimile, symbols, to express a deeper reality. You just have to trust and ride the wave of bliss.  This is the gateway of Gnosis, of knowing without having to learn it. You glimpse the fundamental order of the cosmos, an experience that happens to every person who awakens like Buddha, like Jesus, his followers, and also like you and me. All of us.  And for those who are not yet awakened, the Buddha sleeps inside because we all have it.  It is what you are.  Your fundamental nature.


I can tell you that there is a perfect system for uncovering all the latent material that needs to be dispensed with in order to live a fuller freer life.  In awakening, a shift happens; an energy which is itself aware runs all through you.  It dives down into your cells, invading every nook and cranny of you, filling each space, each seemingly empty forgotten space with awareness, a certain kind of awareness, which is itself bliss.  This is a powerful present form of sentience, and at first, it has caused many, including myself, some caution. For some, it has been too much and has driven people over the edge.  This is the one thing that is talked about in regards to the “dangers” of kundalini.  It is a lot to take in, and if you pull away from it in fear, then that fear is multiplied.  On the one hand, it can be a powerful way for you to see all of your own latent fear right in front of you, but unless you are able to step back a little and recognize this, then it pretty much winds up owning you and you are in a position of just responding. Reacting. “It” is out to get you.  For me, it was a bit like an 800 pound gorilla that would come into me and wrestle me while I resisted, not knowing WHY I was resisting, or why I was feeling so much pain.  The single most helpful thing for me was learning how to surrender, and to be honest, I really wasn’t a very surrendered person. I thought I had a pretty examined life on balance, but that really didn’t mean too much without the right “posture” in the face of this new phenomenon.  All through this process, though, the light body came on clearer and clearer and showed me, through discomfort, what needed attention.


The wisdom of the body, which I do not really see anymore as light body or physical body, but for now is a continuum that includes all bodies and states and capacities, has within it all you will need to know.  There is talk of “painbody” and while seeking to drop the pain body is important and very productive, it also serves to highlight what is in you that needs giving a good toss.  This is not a rational process but one related directly to feeling. Feeling is so important because it either stops the flow or it allows it. Getting a handle on this is a big thing, and painbody in the beginning will begin to teach you moment by moment how best to be by showing you how certain thoughts and feelings allow more energy in without restricting it which winds up making you feel blissful and good instead of pent-up and anxious.  It is a real trial by fire and the advantage also is that it will show you the linkage between your thoughts and feelings and how this regulates the output of a whole range of chemistry in the body.  Nothing in my life showed me more clearly how a small uncertainty in the back of my mind over years could have a very real effect on my body chemistry.  I was able to see how I could quiet the incessant flow of adrenaline and boost endorphins.  My body became like a giant lab experiment where I carefully observed what feeling states created what kind of chemistry in my body.  All of this was possible because kundalini was making everything highly intensified, as though a bright light had bee shone on my body and its interior processes. This experience resulted in what I know to be THE alchemy, and it is one that is won only by a near constant balancing act where I do not go too far in one direction or another and find the balance that I seem to need in order to keep sane with this force in my body and in my life.


So much of what happens early on is a contracting effect into the old structures of the psyche when kundalini hits.  If I fell into shame or depression or self deprecating states, I would feel this very painful sensation in my body.  It was in truth in my light body, but was instantly telegraphed or communicated to my physical body. The punishment, which I was exacting without realizing it, on myself, was through a pulling back from this perfect energy which could not be known while in a state like fear, anxiety, or anything negative.  Sure, kundalini was there, but it was as though it turned on a dime and served as fuel for the fire of something negative instead of positive. I could feel in my body, in the chakra centers, places that would hurt.  Most of these were constant in the sense that anytime I went through one of these contractions, the same pains were there flaring up in those same energy centers each time.  If i was able to clear something from a center, it would be gone forever.  But by drawing back into the old modes of the psyche, which namely involve the identification with the ego, this was like pulling a curtain on a very lovely episode of pure grace and balance. Over and over this drama unfolded until I slowly began to get it right, until my body would crave the joy and perfection over the dull dark realms of uncertainty and loss. What this process was doing was showing me how to be different, and in the process, it caused a kind of collapsing of ego where I simply no longer could keep it where it was.  I had to let it go, to let it be free to be in another place in the garden of my awareness.  It had to.  I could not keep this pain stuff up for too long.


You can feel these contractions even after the collapse of the old egoic positioning, but they are not as intense, at least not in my current experience. However, by being able to get motivated by the discomfort I sometimes feel, I have a very clear and unequivocal method for taking care of cleaning out the backlog, what I call “the inventory” which is essentially karmic.  The process is in clearing this all out an returning to a sounder more peaceful form of awareness.  Still human, still imperfect, still working  on things….but now there is this sense of having worked through lifetimes of junk that has been hanging around my neck for ages.  Here, now, there is a real chance for an authentic change to take place that will lead to a better way of life.


The issues that lay in the light body are also tied into the physical body, and there are ways to use movement to help clear these up, to help them to move on.  This is a rather fascinating area of study that is going on and when I caught on to the effect that movement had for me, it helped to bring on one of the biggest series of releases that I had in my journey through all of this.  There is also research emerging that supports that even in the animal kingdom, movement plays a key role in helping us to release these seemingly nonphysical traumas that exist in the energetic blueprint of our body memory.  The body itself carries a host of material in it, and what we think we know about the body is mostly what scientists have discovered.  Part of this has put the brain front and center as the organ for processing information, feelings, and memory, and yet we are learning that this is not entirely so. The heart, for example, produces more electrical signals that go to the brain that signals coming from the brain to the heart. This isn’t just electricity, but signal processing that is similar to the signals coming from the brain, which is why scientists studying this have said that the heart appears to have some form of intelligence. We speak of the heart breaking, a feeling in our gut, for example, and all of this points to how we do indeed use the body to process information. Ida Rolf, known for her aggressive deep tissue work found that she could help people to release old pent-up emotion by working deep into physical tissues. A flood of emotion would most often come and then be gone.


I experienced this same effect when I had someone who worked on my shoulder, the place of a pretty serious injury that was tied into the events that led up to my divorce.  Without going into the hairy details, I found myself suddenly flooded with an unrecognized emotion of betrayal that swept through me and then was gone. It had been stored in the injured shoulder all that time, and was then released through careful manipulation of the tissues within the shoulder.  Using Qi Gung (also spelled Gong) served to release a lot of material, a process that felt very uncomfortable at first.  It was as though I had stirred up some ancient toxins and felt clammy and sick until they had fully passed.  The effect was nausea and a sense of dread.  My though was that I would feel renewed, and while this is true, it took a little time for this to settle into my experience. So do not be surprised if in doing work like this that there is some residual effects that may not seem at first to be positive.  Its a bit like taking medicine that first makes you feel sick but ultimately makes you feel much better.


The advantage to this method of clearing out old material is that you don’t even need to know or relive the past in order to let it go.  Yes, there may be a sweep of emotion, and this may well serve the purpose of acknowledging it, which may not have been done at the scene of the crime, so to speak.  By not denying feeling, by not shoving it down, this backlog, I feel, can be greatly curtailed going forward if not entirely eliminated.


Going forward, I now acknowledge my feelings.  I let myself feel these storms of emotion when it comes to my reactions with others. I also do not marinate in them.  I let the feelings come, I see them as they are, and I let them breeze on through me.  If I find myself reflecting in an anxious way over something, I ask myself what I am afraid of and try to acknowledge and feel all of this while asking myself that root of the problem.  The answer does not always come right away, but the point is I remain open to something that might happen a day or week or month later that will help bring me to a sense of clearing and completion. This isn’t just about forgiving people.  So often we think we have to forgive people to be free from our past haunts.  This might help, but it has been my experience that all of this ultimately comes back to me due to how I chose to react or feel about something.  The first freedom may be in forgiving others, but the final freedom is in forgiving ourselves.  It is this freedom that is the one that brings the greatest and most final end to old problems or issues.  This is so because it is seen, recognized, and then sent on its way in a sense.  It no longer hangs out in your energy field as a kind of virus turning and looping and straining the energy field. With things like this moving in you, it will be hard to get the things you want in a way that does not cause problems simply because there is a glitch in the feeling upon its creation or wishing. You might be like me and be able to manifest great things that wind up having a glitch in them that make them difficult instead of easy.  I knew that I could manifest anything I needed, but I harbored some feeling like maybe I was not deserving of it, or that there was always a price to be paid.  This was born out by my experience.  The big things had always been hard-won, but I never considered I was simply creating this difficulty. Once I looked at this, I discovered a fear that I was able to remove, and this fear blocked my ability to love myself. Once that happened, events began to take place that did not have these same glitches in them.  I had to clear up a feeling in myself, a kind of belief of sorts, and when I did, the character of events changed. Being aware of how your own energy impacts events is a big move in life, and being able to see good examples of it can also help in moving you forward just as it did for me.

The body will provide you with all the signals that you need to come to grips with everything that may be holding you back.  Once awakening comes, all of this becomes much more vivid, and while it may be hard initially, it can also be a saving grace for how clearly it can identify things for you that need work. The curious thing is that the rational mind has a part to play that can keep you out of the heavy emotional tangle that this can sometimes represent.  Its role, though, is limited, but very effective.  It can allow you to stand back and as long as you can be honest with yourself, you have a good chance of being in a place where you can see things for how they are instead of how you feel.  This serves, at least for me, as the first possible step in eliminating blocks.  The rest involves grace and a willingness to feel in a way you might not have felt before.  This is the new day dawning when this happens, and it is a very hopeful thing.









The goal of most people who seek is to find those things that are missing in their life that will bring them to a new place of fulfillment spiritually.  As a seeker, I did not always know exactly what this thing was I was seeking except that I had this very instinctual sense that it was somehow up ahead and I was still trying to find it. I considered, too, that all of life may be like this; a constant state of becoming and seeking. Something pulled me forward in a very specific way.  My search was a very private affair since it took me into areas I realized most people didn’t either seem to go or talk about.  People didn’t seem like they were very well oriented to this other world of experience.

I know now that my seeking was stilled one I awakened. It didn’t happen all at once, but it happened, and it was a shift that was about thirty five years in the making.  The tension pulling me forward to know, to discover, had changed in a pretty significant way.  What I sought in an outward way resolved back into my own journey. What I found was a much simpler thing than what I thought I might have been looking for, even if I really had not preformed idea what it was I was looking for, only that I knew that whatever it was I needed was not going to be found in the usual way.

I have come to realize that my past has been a kind of presage for knowing how to be in the world and that I had accumulated the tools necessary for the unfolding of all of this.  Perhaps it just provides me with a perspective that is good for me.  For whatever it is worth, I have been provided with some things that I think we are missing.  Like how to be alive.

Most of what has held me back from embracing awakening in the beginning, and even some today, is fear.  Fear serves to keep me from fully embracing life, and I think it does this for all of us. The curious thing about fear is that it is often not recognized but is part of our tendency to project it outward onto the world in such a way that it becomes more like a feature IN the world than IN us.  This way we can tell ourselves that the world is a dangerous place and pull back from it rather than taking full responsibility for that fear and all it represents. Carl Jung was all over this, and it is something I see in people, including myself, as I go through life.

Contrary to conventional thinking, our reincarnational lives are not as entirely linear as we might think.  That is, our lives are not just a progression from one lesson to another as we move from point A to point B.  I think we have trained ourselves to think this way because of how the left brain works and how our rational processes work that fill that mind and inform how it processes information. This is more a belief than anything based in real fact.  Some lives can be lived that bring up very hard karma and in so doing, can often overcome a person and with free choice, we can lead a diminished life, while in a previous life we may have lived a life that was relatively free from these karmic tendencies due to the choices we made.  I have had the unique opportunity in my life to have known someone as a small child who people in my life knew well who died and returned many years later as a new person. I wont go into how or why I know this simply due to brevities sake, but only know that it is not just a guess but something that has been confirmed through a variety of sources. What is interesting is how similar this person’s karma has been from that previous life into the one today.  What is also curious, too, is how differently that person has chosen to respond to that karma this time around. In many ways, this person has taken something that did not affect him as much in a previous life and is now living a life where the same unresolved karma is affecting his life in a much bigger, harder, and more obvious way.  The choices were different, the challenges this time are perhaps more intense, the people involved are a little different, too, but the energy is all the same because the karma is all the same.  In one life the karmic flames was relatively understated while today the flames grow into huge drama. I have also observed similar differences in my own life experience.

When I was 18 years old I had a past life memory that fell into my lap.  It came entirely out of left field and was in actuality more a warp in time than just a replay of some past event.  It is something I write about in my book Waking the Infinite.  I mention this partly because it helps to underscore how it is that we can actually move through time to affect change in our lives.  I have actually used this principle to good effect in dreaming to go back into my earlier life to bring change in the dream life of myself when I was younger.  We may not have figured out how to take mass through time, but we are simply not limited when it comes to energy, and consciousness is energy.  Consciousness, then, is not bound by time, only by awareness or belief. This memory was from a time when the Native cultures were encountering the whites for the first time and the big change was swiftly coming upon the New World as the Europeans called it. As you know, even before contact with Whites the lives of Native Americans were changing with the spread of chicken pox and mumps which often served to wipe out entire groups of Native People.  What didn’t get them through disease, was done by the near incompatibility of the two world views of White and Red. The memories I had were in series and would help me to piece together something in my present life today that would help me with my work and is something I write about. It goes to the nature of who we are and what we are.  Part of it came through an unusual vision about the Thunder Beings.

What has helped me the most about having had this contact with this past life is just how incredibly alive these people were. The idea of living in fear was like being sick in that culture; you did everything you could do to cure yourself of it.  My people were called by other clans or tribes “the killers” and “grizzlies.” What I know, though, is that when we do not understand something, we can mislabel it, adding in our own unresolved fears.  Whites called most Indians savages, but they refused to realize that this seemingly savage behavior was part culture clash and part self preservation.  The Whites were there to take land and a way of life.

I can remember feeling fear when I recalled the looks in the eyes of some of the people I knew. Something about their eyes was startling.  I knew in an instant that this look comes about as a result of someone who is incredibly present and alive.  These people had been living as individual sovereign beings with no one ruling over them.  Native society, at least in my experience, was one where leadership was not about agendas in the usual way we encounter in politics. There was less fragmentation between spiritual belief and physical life.  The way of living so close to the earth also meant that a person was awake and aware of everything around them since this toolkit was important for survival. Tom Brown who is the author of a number of books about his experiences with a Native American man who was a tracker and who taught him his skills describes how it seemed he and his teacher seemed to live in two different worlds at first.  His teacher, Stalking Wolf, was aware of an entirely different set of sensory inputs than he as he struggled at first to “tune in” the world that his teacher was seeking to show him.  These were not merely states of awareness that were put on conveniently, but were part of life, part of a much more engaged form of sensory awareness.

There has been and continues to be an intense fascination with Native culture on the part of Whites.  This is so, I feel, because of an intuitive sense that these cultures had what we have been missing and that we all crave something deep down inside of us, which is essentially about living a fuller and more richer kind of life. One of the things I think that the old way can offer is how to learn to live a life that is more whole, more integrated and thus potentially more vibrant and alive.

The advantages to living in this way were many.  One is that by living so close to the earth the body was in finely tuned shape. The senses were sharp and the mind was in the moment. Moment by moment one lived in a state of being that was free of a lot of the fears and taboos normally associated with life.  Since everyone was encouraged to seek the truth from the Source through dream work, observation in nature, or the vision quest, there was a tendency for people to honor the bit of insight each person dug up. Each path was lived based on these kinds of promptings, and I think that as a result, on balance, it helped to support a greater level of individual authenticity.

Fear is what divides us, keeping us from embracing life more fully. Fear keeps minds shut down and fear serves a world of purposes that are not terribly freeing. Freedom, on the other hand opens up the mind and the heart and love can only thrive most powerfully when we remain free.  There is less struggle, fewer issues that come up that are impediments to love.  We are less neurotic, we hold fewer distortive beliefs about how the world works and we are able to see what is instead of what we are. Being able to have the courage to just be yourself is the most freeing thing a person can experience in life.  So often, because of our fear, we hold back, we conform, we worry about what others think of us or might say.  When you can be authentic and just be yourself, you send a signal that you are ready for those things that will match that level of authenticity.  Quite naturally, the world conspires to assist you in this as your own world changes.  The matrix or canvas that you are creating moment by moment then can change because of the change in you.  You are free to create differently.  Now some have called this matrix an illusion, and I think that is fine if you want to think that it is not real, but I prefer to think of it as a creation, which is a fundamental feature of our being and part of our individuality and freewill.  If life is a creation, then you are free to create differently, right?  It isn’t that what we see isn’t real, but that it is responding moment by moment to how we are and if we change what we are, the world around us also changes.  The tree outside will still remain, but will have something that it did not have the day before.  Layer by layer, life can change in subtle and then in more overt and obvious ways.  Getting started and sticking to your guns is I think the only way that you will ever really know if what I am telling you is on the mark or not.

As for myself, living life without fear has been the core of my work over the last six years, and being able to remove that backlog of material in order to see a clearer version of what is possible for me seems to me to be the one way that I am focused in my day to day life.

The term yoga means union. Awakening is union. If body movement assists this, then good.  What can you bring to a yoga practice that might help with the business of this union?  When awakening comes, it comes, and it did so for me as a result of resolving long standing issues in me that kept my energy tied in knots.  I let go the knots.  I let life be a mystery.  I really didn’t intend for it to go that way, but the universe conspired against me….which was really FOR me. I got the memo late and then realized none of this is on any kind of limited time line.  There are a LOT of people who are experiencing what I suppose is best described as spontaneous awakening or rising of kundalini.  I have my thoughts on this based on what came to me when I first awoke, a time when I did not know that this was even kundalini.  What I knew then from the source of this living energy was that this was something big that was going to grow.  I could feel the momentum back then.  Far from feeling alone, I was aware of the energy within the collective, within human awareness that was building in potential.  It wasn’t just me feeling a surge in me because when you awaken, you do not awaken to yourself, although this certainly is the case, you wake to a broader awareness, what some call nondual awareness.  The natural result is that it feels as though you are tied into a sea of energy on the planet, and the energy closest to our own experience is human consciousness (even though this too naturally connects to many other strands on the web of energetic awareness which is ultimately unlimited).  It felt as if some internet of my being sprung up.  I smiled when I thought of how close the internet and this network inside mirrored each other. I even came across someone who described it as the “inner-net”!  Perfect.  They get it.

So to aid you in yoga practice, I will say in innocence of yoga practice (I do not practice yoga….at least not yet) what it is that I have observed has been the main features and aspects of awakening for me.

Remove all that divides you.  Remove the resentments.  Let them go. These keep union at bay.  Sitting in the posture will do nothing if your light body is divided, and the path is not outside but inside.  Yes, body and mind go together, but THIS is more than just mind….it is supermind, superself, overself, and expands “beyond” the normal understanding and experience of the self as it is here on earth.  Let your feelings drop all of that old stuff, and what will come is relief.  Sweet relief.  Forgive. If you can.  What you cannot, hand over to a higher power and ask that IT heal it for you.  I will tell you that I did not buy into handing things over to a higher power, but I see how important that is now and have found some of the most difficult to heal issues healed by doing this very simple thing.  It requires that you be able to really hand it over like how you just sell a troubled asset just so it no longer….troubles you.  If you do so in grace, if you do so humbly, it can happen for you.

Surrender all that you can and become simple.  Do not be afraid if the temple of your being begins to topple.  If it does, it was not built on a perfect foundation. But don’t let yourself feel bad; this is entirely correctable.  Kundalini, when it comes, will love you so deeply and will, as it embraces you,  show you just where to lay those stones so your new temple will be perfect.  And it might just be that your temple becomes a simple hut.  Do not be surprised. It will be perfect, though, even if you were used to living a lavish life; this one will suit you much better even if it seems like it wont at first.  If you can trust the universe in this, the infinite wisdom it contains will bring you more surprises of a great nature than you could imagine.   But when you accept what it does for you, you will learn how perfect, how utterly perfect, the universe is in helping you get what is just right for you.  But to do this means laying aside ego some.

Let your pride go.  Let all of your positions, your anger, your investment in all that stuff go.  Do you have regrets about how your childhood went?  Ah, now there is some fertile ground just waiting to be plowed up and returned to productivity again.  Any feeling you have about how unfair the world has been to you is another place to begin. Yes, the world is unfair, it is what is.  But you will not know what is until you come to peace with all of that. When you do, you are able to supersede it, to move “above” it but while being more a part of it than you ever were before. I know that this may not make much sense, but it is a bit like learning how to animate your life, the world, in a whole new way.  It is a path to transformation.  Here, you literally can change the landscape around you, for the power of awakening is like this. So what do you want to do, seed the ground with regret or seed it with light?  Seed it while you are full instead of empty.  THAT is how you will change the world. To do this means getting it right in yourself, and when you do this, the law of attraction will see to it that the rest will follow.  You might not believe this, but when you awaken, you begin to occupy your life in a more present and energized fashion.  This increased awareness of presence has very definite effects on the events and people coming into your life.  You will see a more marked change at first as you resolve old issues, and things will change on a dime as you do.  Layer by layer, life will change as what you attract will also change based on where you are in awareness.  This is not just beliefs, but karmic issues which when resolved also result in a change in the landscape of your life.

It may seem like resolving karma is a big task, perhaps an elusive one, but it is not as difficult as you might think.  As you occupy your life in this new way with awakening, the threads will become increasingly clear to you.  You FEEL energy and karma carries its own thread-like energy which you can feel in various parts in your light body and even physical body. These resolve as blocks, and when you can release them by acknowledging them directly, they can be erased.  They can.  The idea that karma is some kind of punishment is a grave distortion of the truth.  There never WAS a punishment that we ourselves did not first exact on ourselves by removing ourselves from our divine nature.  THAT is the punishment and many have been putting this responsibility onto a deity ever since.  When you can face the truth in this simple way, you are so close to releasing mounds of material, you begin to wonder what you had been doing all these lifetimes.  Karma is a choice.  Getting into it was and getting out of it was. The way out is through forgiveness, and the most direct route is in forgiving yourself, not others.  There are reasons for this which I wont go into too deeply, but suffice it to say that if you think other people are responsible for how your life has gone, you are missing some important things that lie just beyond the next veil in your awareness.  I promise.  You wont fully realize this one until and unless you face the truth yourself enough times to begin to see the pattern.  No karma is ever resolved when you point to another as the reason.  YOU are the reason. Looking outside of yourself merely stalls the inevitable.

Just as the pulse of awakening moves through you and changes all of you, this same energy is suddenly circulating even more in the collective consciousness of humankind.  All who awaken awaken to the All.  You will see just what I mean by this.  And then you will perhaps realize that the path to real change is within. You can touch the entire world by touching the part of you that touches the infinite. This is why waking the infinite is so potent a way of being.  It is the authentic path that needs no methods or ways or techniques.  It is already here.  And it will come when you sit on a boat, or in a car, or while reading the newspaper.  It can come while you read this.  Or when you do yoga.  It will come the fastest when you simply realize or remember what it is that you are.  This involves letting down a veil in your awareness.  Doing this is an act of self love, one act among many, and is a series of acts that will deepen and inform your knowledge about just how deeply all of this goes.

Awakening is the energy of inspiration.  It is that moment of opening within you when you let in all that energy.  Awakening opens you just a little wider than normal so a much larger volume of this love can flow.  You have brushed up awakening whenever you feel the joy and even bliss of a great new discovery.  Awakening is like feeling this awareness or state remain and then build on itself.  This love, though, is not a feeling FOR something but is itself a force. You will feel it in your light body and physical body, as they are delicately intertwined.   We all yearn for this, all seek it.  Once it comes, seeking ends and becoming begins.  You will no longer feel normal.  You will no longer feel bored.  You will no longer feel ordinary.  Nor will life appear ordinary.  The dew will sparkle with magic, for you will now glimpse the magic that IS in all things, and this magic is what is in everything.  This magic is the very essence of  union and interconnectivity.  All life is built on this and it goes all the way down to the atomic level.  Hence, when you tap this in yourself, curious things can happen in life as though the energy in your cells are not communicating more clearly with the energy in the air surrounding you, the atoms in objects, in the local landscape.  This may seem or sound impossible or even crazy, yet there is truth in this and it is supported by the phenomenon that take place with those who are awake.  It is like a great secret, a mystery that once is discovered, remains a fresh mystery every moment.  There is no entire apprehension of this mystery but the delicious communing moment by moment with how it makes you feel. It is not the explosion of orgasm and release, but a steady building of orgasmic potential that now is no longer thrown away but is built every higher as the light body can handle more of it in its small frame.  Here, the energy centers are cleansed by the energy, and as you bid it come, it sweeps you and even moves ego if you let it.

The mind suddenly can go quiet in just such a place of being.  It is such a marvelous thing.  I could never do this before all of this started, and I certainly had a few interesting opportunities. My mind was a chatter with thoughts ordinarily.  But kundalini has stilled it for me.  A great silence can come when I do not need to be all a chatter with the world. I move from this chatter to utter silence and both have their place.  I simply am no longer a slave to the ramble-mind.  We just need this silence to witness the mystery which draws you into itself and reveals wonder.

Breath can help, but breath in the body is coincident with the intake of prana.  When you awaken you can bid it rise by bidding it.  No breathing necessary.  But until that day comes, breathing is a very good way to move energy.  And the breathing in one nostril and then the other?  Oh, yes.  This helps to stimulate an awareness of the two fields of energy that go to make up kundalini or awakening.  Shakti and Shiva.  Feminine and masculine inside of you.  Their presence will inform you of things in ways you may have never allowed yourself.  It can make you a better leader, a better lover and a more considered person.

Once the infinite wakes up inside, you will touch the infinite outside of you.  Awake to energy, all energy is everywhere.  Nonlocal, you have the cosmos literally at your fingertips.  I will admit that most of my time with it is spent in utter admiration of it instead of yoking it to some use.  But yoking it results in much better results than any other method for achieving what will bring you fulfillment.  Here, you can bid mountains to move.

You can change the world, but you must change yourself first.  Do that, and as you enter this field, the rest of us will come smiling, welcoming you like brilliant stars sparkling in the sky above you, as you enter this new life.

Awakening is union, and yoga is union.  This is yoga.  FEEL,  then you will inherit the kingdom.

I really thought that starting to move and recreate some old themes with new perspective here would be a quiet affair, one where I could build some writing quietly….but things here are much more dynamic and fast moving than I thought they would be!  My life has been in a state of rapid flux over the last few years, and in many ways, as things “settle down” my life rev’s up in new ways….which is to say that I wish I had more time to devote to reading through other blogs, to spend a week reading just one followers blog and then studiously go on to the next. Unfortunately, my work load makes this difficult right now.  I am in a transition point between teaching part time, working on a book, and doing studio work full time to just doing studio work and having more time to devote to the book and to writing here, which also means reading other blogs and following not in a half-hearted way but a full-hearted way.  I really don’t like doing things half-way!

So in my usual long-winded way, I wanted to take this moment to thank you all for following!  I am actually reading your blogs, bit by bit, but it’s just not enough for me to warrant a follow…..not because YOU don’t warrant it, but because if I am going to get your work on my desktop, I want to give it my all.  I do.  And have time for feedback, too!  So for now, take my lame excuses as promise for something coming soon where I will have the time to do some proper followage (my word) to your blogs.

With follows coming in at an all time high today, which probably is very modest for the blogosphere, I am nonetheless feeling like this is an apt birthday present, and one that makes me feel lucky on such a funny day as St. Patrick’s day is….a holiday of sorts, but one that is lighthearted even if Patrick was involved in some nasty pagan banishing (those snakes).  A little silliness and levity feels about right for this time of year.  A big gasp of air after a winter chill that is in our neck of the woods, rapidly falling away.

Thank you, each of you!


I have written extensively about this on other blogs, and I am now putting it here as it is a very important aspect to where we are headed as a species.  This is not a spiritual thing, a nice idea to hold or to cleave to.  It is part of the inner workings of the divine cosmos, the air, the atoms, the vibrations of all energy. What we have come to call the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine seen in myriad forms from Shakti and Shiva to the Goddess and the Horned God or Cernunonos, these images express an infinitely broad aspect of all reality, all being, all experience.  What a physicist describes as an energy pattern of positive moving to negative, the Hindu describes as the natural continuum of energy between these seeming opposites.  The images, the symbols, are merely that, and yet, within the electromagnetic spectrum wherein our own experience rides, we feel these currents as the bedrock of our very experience.  You can make this as personal or as impersonal as you want to; the presence of these forces are so broad, they are simply everywhere and are everything.


The reality is that even as males and females are seen as distinct, they both carry the chemistry of the other within them.  the most manly of men produce estrogen and women rely on some testosterone for normal bodily function and the regulation of libido.  We all have oxytocin in our bodies, that interesting hormone that is known to play an important role in pair bonding and family unity.  It is also a neurotransmitter (true!) and we all have it.  In just the same way, consciousness carries aspects of both masculine and feminine perhaps in less rigidly formed ways within us.  When kundalini rose in me I was aware of two energies that were in perfect union and that the very force of this energy was not one of the other, but BOTH.  The bliss from this force was the union.  When I pulled awareness away from this perfection in union, bliss ceased and I became really quite ordinary. Luckily, it took a very strong emotional force or “constriction” to cause this to happen.  We are, whether we know it, top to bottom, operating on this seemingly “dual” energy which appears to be in all truth only workable when it is in union, when they work dynamically together.


So look at our cultures as a subset of this union concept.  If these “two” are everywhere, top to bottom, then you will see it reflected in everything, including a culture. To understand how this union of these opposites is at work at the individual level, you can look at the culture.  Look at the institutions, the laws, the rules, the taboos, the beliefs.  All of these will be a perfect mirror for the body of the dimension as a whole.  For this dimension, it is a culture or a group.  How we reflect or are aware of these two determines how they are expressed.


Step back and look at humanity across the globe and you will see a real slant towards paternalism that has been going on four many thousands of years.  The Goddess, the yin, has been swept under the rug in our awareness.  Women have been persecuted in big and small ways, limited, marginalized in big and small ways. This effect has happened on the individual level and it has happened to ALL of us.  Even women. Over time, even women themselves have come under the beliefs and biases that have kept them limited.  This, though, is beginning to change.  As each individual person, regardless of their own sexual orientation physically or psychologically, begins to step out of this old pattern, we will, and are, seeing change take place.  Yes, this change has been slow, and yet it has been steady.  People are waking up to how things CAN be and the Goddess is returning.


There is a ways to go.  We know this.  And yet, we will continue to get there and as we do, we will literally build a collective bank of energy that helps to bring the unfathomable force that is the feminine in the universe to bear in our world. You simply cannot believe the changes that will take place as we make the change individually within.  You may not believe that it is possible to change things in this way, that it is akin to thinking things into being, and yet, in truth, this is what we do all the time. All great movements begin as ideas. All creation begins with the act of INTENTION. I know that in my own experience, in my own life, post awakening, that the things I have been able to accomplish, the greatest of them, did not involve me lifting a finger.


It is interesting, as a side note, to mention the lesser-known Gnostic texts in which Jesus is speaking about a process that takes place that he called the “kingdom.” In it, he maps out the very process of awakening.  He didn’t use the Hindu language set, but he used one that is entirely consistent with kundalini.  But as those who know who are awakened, kundalini is not a religion or philosophy, but is a HUMAN experience that happens in every culture, we just have different names for it, a different language or vocabulary for it.  He explained that the singular self knows resurrection by way of the presence of the Mother and Father within.  This was also called Pistis, Pistis Sophia, and the Holy Ghost.  they were all used interchangeably enough in these texts that we know what it was they were talking about.  He described this as the one being two and the two then becoming one.  You begin as a person who seems to be a singular person but then awaken to the reality of these two forces within called the Mother and Father.  These then are in union and thus become one.  He explained that you resolve all division within yourself to achieve this.  To do that, you resolve any hitches in your awareness that are helping to keep the awareness of this subtle force at bay within you.  Then, after this, one enters into what he and others called The Bridal Chamber.  This was so called because of the bliss that the union of these two forces created in awareness.  In kundalini, this is the bliss of the union of Shakti and Shiva.  I feel this force everyday, all day, if I allow myself to simply remain perfectly perched on the crest of the wave that makes it all possible.  I remain in union with them, and their union creates a third force, the Christ.  And Jesus was very much about helping birth Christs.  And this Christ, while embodied in a man’s teachings, is not something that is male or female.  It is the very bliss of union that creates a transcendent state.  It is this transcendent state that he explained brought on something he described as “When you are destroyed.”  This is consistent with what the Hindus call ego death.  This is the severing of the head which is shown in many images in Hindu culture.  This is the loss of the usual sense of self as Kali severs the head and attains dominion over the self.  This is symbolic language for what kundalini shakti, expressed as the feminine force coming into awareness, does to us.  We become less mental, we become more like her; intuitive.  Yes, Kali is a severe expression, but it also expresses the inevitability of the process whereby a true breakthrough is only possible with the severe action that kundalini will bring to you as you go through the loosening of the bonds that you have to your old configuration…..your head….your ego.


Jesus then says something important, and key.  He says that once this happens, when you bid the mountain to move, it will move. You do not MOVE the mountain, you simply use your intent to make it so.  This sounds miraculous, and yet, miracles follow many who are awakened.  I know that for me, minor miracles follow me on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.  And it might seem miraculous, but in truth, it is part of a larger understanding of how the universe works.


So yes, we can sit still and bid great change to take place.  It depends on your capacity for knowing how to work with this energy, and the locus of its effect emerges from you through sheer will or intent and if nothing stands in the way (via bias or hidden belief) then it will happen. So yes, we have way more power than any of us might want to realize or admit.  But we do.  With it comes great responsibility because as the energy gets higher and knowing increases, there is a great potential for falling flat on your face and building huge karmic entanglements.  I know.  What I though was just the universe bringing me things I later realized was my own presence on this wave and I was causing it all to happen.  Instead of believing it was the universe, I had to realize the causal relationship between intent and event.  When we can get this honest, we can also save ourselves a lot of error.  Sure, it IS the universe bringing you this in a sense, but there is no one granting you something because some deity decides that it is right for you to have it.  It doesn’t work that way, and this is important to realize as we grow up energetically.  We were given this huge gift of free will, and it is this that makes us creators. Godlings. Now don’t let that go to your head, but focus on the important part, which is anything in life where there is great responsibility. With this freedom is also responsibility.  Now own it.  Owning it will also cause you, most likely, to look at your own shit.  I know that is a bit of an indelicate term, but it is one that hits it hard and clearly with no equivocation.  It is the dross that we need to remove.  And here we have great opportunity to make huge change in less and less time.  Like a snowball rolling down a hill, this process can gain size and momentum very quickly.  It is, I observe, growing day by day. Three weeks ago I was listening to a broadcast on women in politics at the state level and it was so hopeful to me to hear these women speaking about their concerns and how these were translating into shifts in policy.  These women were all looking at the big picture and asking what would the results be for everyone when a certain policy is changed.  they wanted to see the biggest benefit not to key individuals, but for the whole.  This is huge and can literally begin reforming our political landscape. Twenty years ago, the closest that a broadcast would come to actually covering things like this were when women would speak about what they would do if they ran for office.  Well, now they ARE in office in greater numbers and the change is taking place.


The entrance of the goddess in all her forms is coming, and we can give her a warm landing spot by simply holding her presence in each of us.  We all have her in us.  Me, a masculine man has learned that this force does indeed live inside of him.  She humanizes me both as a force that is part of my psychological makeup and also operates at a level that appears almost archetypal.  She has begun to turn around inside of me enough for me to experience her as a definite presence that has aided me in moments of great healing.  Without her in us, we are bereft of the very tools we need to become more whole. This, though, has not changed me into some sort of androgyne.  It has made me more aware of the importance of the feminine current in all things.  It has made me more aware of how she fits, how she works in all things and how important her presence is in ALL of us.


The biggest way to effect change is to simply BE the change.  How do you go about doing this?  You do it moment by moment.  Be aware of your thoughts and feelings.  Do you think first or act first? Which side of the dynamic are you working from moment to moment?  Are you overly harsh, do you plunge into things without exercising your intuition?  Or do you wind up feeling too observant of the range of possibilities and thus feel stuck unable to decide? Being able to balance all of these traits will bring you to a place of balance within….a kind of unbalanced balance.  If you are a male, being able to soften your edges with HER can be a huge benefit as it will make you more compassionate, and great leaders are also compassionate.  Despots have no compassion, and people fear them.  Do you want to rule in love or fear? The notion that a soft approach wont work because people only understand force is one notion that is erroneous. We are showing how this can change the balance of power over and over.  As countries seek the old paradigm to accomplish their political ends, more and more people will grow tired of it and demand a change.  Gradual at first, but the snowball grows.  As I soften, as I am more compassionate, I am able to relate to my children in an entirely different way.  I can now offer them opportunities that I could not just five years ago.  My daughter is now being nurtured by a man who is much more aware and cognizant of his actions, and she will grow up having known a father who is more considered, who is more balanced, and she will go on to year for a mate who will more closely follow the man I have become.  Because that is just how raising children works out.  Daughters often seek what is familiar from their early lives in some fashion just as sons do. As a result, I am rewriting the future not just for me, but for my daughter and for every person both she and I come into contact with.  Imagine if a million people were to do this.  The effects are huge.  A small pebble dropped in the water has far-reaching ripples.


Maya Angelou in a talk a few years ago spoke of how small things become big things and she did this by telling a story about her life growing up.  She was sent to her grandparents to live with them, and the small things they did for their family had long reaching effects later in those children’s lives.  It was really a beautiful story that only Maya can tell in the same way.  And she was then able to speak to others about the power of such small kindnesses and shifts that we make and inspired entire audiences to consider, if only for a moment, what their own individual actions might do to bring change.  We ARE the change.


So the answer, if there is to be one, is not in letting the pendulum to swing far into the goddess realm, but to once and for all seek a balance between the two.  Otherwise, we just keep the polarizing effect of the swing of energy to keep going on.  We do this by simply making the decision to do things differently and to not behave as victims.  It is easy to sit back and say how bad men have been to women as if the men now are involved in making the same inroads to persecution that have happened in the past.  As long as we put the sins of the past on the present, we merely carry those sins forward and keep the wounds fresh. Men will feel defensive and under the gun and be less capable of finding that shining self that is beyond all the dramas of the past.  Likewise, women will teach themselves again the way toward power is in using their prior victimhood as a source of power, a great shield against which they protect themselves from the world and for what is.  We all wind up poorer for it. For this to work, it requires honesty, bravery, and a lot of compassion and a willingness to let the past be the past.



When we are able to do this, we literally write a new script for the future.  NOW. We let the past feelings go and begin identifying with a new way to be. All of this takes great strength and compassion and bravery. And we wont be perfect at it always.  But in time, we will see women who are coming into entirely new experiences of the Goddess within simply due to the past limits they and the rest of society placed on them.  They will be less afraid, and will explore the great depths of HER more. As a man with the vision to see HER presence, I can tell you that there is so much more we have yet to uncover and experience.  The awakening of the goddess within will also serve to bring out the god within each person also. The frailties of the man will be healed at an ever-increasing rate as men also become less afraid to express their fundamental natures or essential selves.


John Farnham once wrote a song entitled “You Are The Voice” in which he explains that we have the power to write what we want to write, to change the world….the power is in our hands.  Yours. Mine. Hers.  His.  I promise you, as you step upon this path, there is no end to how deep all of this goes.

















Awakening, the power that rests in all of us offers the possibility of erasing the knots and blocks that, like computer viruses, block our awareness of what is and turn in us affecting our emotions and behavior.  This was just what Philip in his lesser-known gospel was talking about when he said “It is the evil that makes you do what you do not want to do and keeps you from doing what you want to do.”  Perfect.  As you wake, you will begin to brush up against this as the churning of kundalini releases these knots.  The self resolves into a calm pond instead of one constantly in agitation, chaos.  What seemed normal for so may years, perhaps your whole life is suddenly seen, or gradually seen, in a new context.  We have just been so used to have out sensitivity scoured away by the daily grind of the caustic presence of this backlog of karma and what it does to us.  You might think that for as bad as all of that is, once you tasted this new life you would never want to go back to the old.  Yes and no.  We have been so conditioned to this mode of behavior that even though it is dysfunctional, it has served to define us for so long.  Learning how to step away from the addiction to bad behavior and chaos is like weaning a drug addict off of heroin.  And none of us are immune.  Even those who have taken great strides all have their hitches and challenges.  The idea that when you awaken you awaken perfect is not true, and is the glitch in our own karmic need to give away our personal power to an authority instead of making discernments on our own and making up our own minds, following our own instincts.

Compassion is what levels the playing field.  Without it, it is all a bunch of finger pointing, Inquisitions, and an inability to take responsibility for how we feel and act.  The freedom we will find is in this path of radical responsibility.  IT is the freedom and has the power to heal great wounds and fears.  Fear, once faced, melts away.  What is left after years of melting?  Your authentic self….and this self is most interesting.

If healing fears and hurt and hard emotions is eluding you, one of the ways to deal with them is to gently, fearlessly, face them.  Look at them. This turning away, this fear, this avoidance, it is what has bred the long-standing hurts to begin with.  We tell ourselves that others hurt us and thus we shrunk back and hide inside ourselves like animals who fear the shadow of the hawk.  And yet, I say to you, this is all based on a lie.  The real truth is that no one ever made us feel ANYTHING that we ourselves did not agree to feel.

Five people in the same room all seeing the same event can all respond differently to the same thing. Of course, we want to think that since we are human we will ALL respond the same way, but this is just not so.  We have choice, and you make choices moment by moment on how to feel about any number of things.  When you shine a bright light on it, which kundalini does, the small things become big and you are shown over and over just how involved your choice to feel is engaged in the creation of your life.  You are not some powerless lemming.  You are infinite. We tell ourselves even that we are not godlike, that it is heresy and error to think this way just to let ourselves off the hook for being responsible.  But we are each responsible. When we own that, moment by moment in awareness, then how you feel when you go out to the car and feel that stab of uncertainty about whether the car will start in the cold, or that feeling of anxiety in having to talk to your boss, or even just having to go out to the market when you’d rather just stay at home, all become perfect examples, small examples, of a much larger continuum at work in your life.

So what about the really big things?   There is a way out of this, and part of it is knowing there is nothing to fear except fear.  It may sound corny and very FDR-ish, but the man was right.  He perhaps used this for his own political ends, but it is absolutely true.  Life can be faced with fear or it can be faced with bravery which is simply not prejudicing yourself in the moment and thinking you know that something will turn out badly or could turn out badly or feeling uncertain.  The brave are not brave because they lack fear, they simply do not seek to drag fear into the moment and thus are free to meet the moment on its own terms. The path to healing begins in this way and it begins with a willingness to change and a willingness to face the truth, whatever that truth is. What may have been faced fearfully becomes a lesson that standing up to a fear meant there was far less to fear than thought, and with our primate brains engaged, we learn quickly so next time it becomes easier. Greater are the rewards when we follow our intuition and not give ourselves the time to even ponder over how we feel.  This, when done with grace, leads to a very streamlined movement through a jungle of things.  I say this because I have experienced this and I wish I could say I use it each time I face something, which I do not, but I am learning…..bit by bit I am learning.

Along with this comes humility, the humility to allow the world to show you what you most need to see in yourself, and once shown, look at it without turning away and own it.  Only in owning it will you release it. When you choose to own something, you are effectively no longer running from it, or avoiding it.  The divine does n0t work in you properly when you run from what is true.  Some are made fearful of the consequences of admitting shortcomings or fault.  After all, there is a price to be paid for not doing so, which is being cast into hell or being ostracized from the group, right?   Some of us still resonate with this belief, this feeling, this fear. I ask you, what divine consciousness which can design the world and dna and blackholes and all the rest, would seek to cast a part of its own self into hellfire?  No, we cast ourselves into hell.  Lacking love, only hell is an option a loveless soul would choose.  We are lost without this love…..which is not the love most know, but is a pulsing vibrant and living thing, the parent or root of all other loves that are FOR something.  This love IS something….and is not merely a current that moves through he heart of a deity or person, but is something I can only describe as ALIVE.  That, though, is another piece on the blog.

When it comes to hell, I say it is our own creation.  We do it ourselves, and we get out of it ourselves.  The same is so with karma.  All blocks resolve back to karma.  Removing karma releases joy and a refining font of bliss in you.   This is an odd turn of  our minds that say some outside authority will be doing this to us if we don’t do right.  This must change if we are ever to get a handle on our own suffering.  The  authority lies within us and if we feel badly about something, we literally create discomfort in ourselves because we are not in harmony with the divine.  The divine does not seek retribution like some angry father who keeps score.  We humans do that.  It is time to OWN the hell we make for ourselves for only we can transform it.  But when you do, it is instantaneous.  It may be that you transform a small part of it, but that part resolves into something brilliant and beautiful.

Curiously, most fire-breathing dragons lurking in the depths of our souls are in fact very different once we no longer see them through the lens of fear or uncertainty. Enemies turn into allies, threats transform into opportunities.  The side, the duality, the Other simply ceases to be.  Instead of fighting agains the world, you use the momentum in the world to flow with it in harmony.  To do this well often means letting go of ego, to a position or agenda.  It is more selfless and it is far more powerful.  It is easier to transform the fury of something in you or in others and use its forward motion for a divine purpose than to allow it to remain as a threat and a hardened object in life.  Turn the attackers forward motion in your heart into a force for good.  You simply choose to see it differently.  As you do this, life will change. Bit by bit, “battle” by “battle” fears are overcome as they are squarely faced.

The power of awakening can lead to radical release of all manner of material within you.  Years of burden are dropped, some in dream, some while awake, some while just riding in the car or buying groceries.  This does not require, now, a temple or guru or method or posture.  ONce you “get” it, its very presence seems to move through you like some new life, transforming the compounds in your body, transmuting grief into joy as now the old ways no longer suit or satiate your hunger for fulfillment.  A new life begins, a devotion is born….and while you can ignore it or hide it, it is a bell that cannot be unrung.

Being able to set aside wah you think all of this might look like seems to me in my expereince the perfect precursor to having this actually take place.  Let the mind go blank, cease the ramble of all that you are and allow what is in the infinite begin to flow in.  Outside this small corner of the universe in physical reality, the flow of time is not the only rule of existence.  Beyond this is the infinite, which is an expanding presence of consciousness that we perceive as a form of time, of causal landscaping.  To know yourself means going back to the very root, to the “beginning” of what you are.  This will show you your connection to everything, what you are and the great royal lineage from which we all spring from.

This release is life changing and makes the high low and the low high. WHat once was one, becomes two, and what was two will become one.  When ego collapses, when you say for the mountain to move, it will move. No longer are you working the world based on the limiting aspects of the ego and individual self but the infinite self now more fully present in time.  Perhaps those who awoke and who exhibited these traits were seen as sorcerers or witches and often were shunned or killed.  Many have been killed just for suspicion of this. So perhaps no wonder we have a fear of stepping out of line or being different. There is probably a evolutionary hindrance built in for that, but we must each press against those bonds and ask of the higher to show us what is next, what it is we can become even if we ourselves do not know what that looks like.  It always winds up far more beautiful and amazing than anything that could be imagined or dreamed up.  A constant return to the root, to the essence of all life, to all being, to all knowing.

I have observed both in my own awakening as well as those of some others that the third eye has figured prominently in pre-awakeing experiences. I say “pre” as if it is somehow not connected. It is all connected.  Quickly, since my last post was so long, I will give you the short of it.

The awakening of kundalini is often presaged by a powerful third eye opening.  It can serve to open the gateways some and begins to draw energy from the depths.  More importantly, it stimulates an awareness of energy in the body, an awareness that has been incredibly dimmed from living in a world so dependent on physical sensory stimuli.  So in becoming more aware of one center, it can naturally lead to becoming more sensitive or aware of the others.  There is a lot about awakening that puts the emphasis on something emerging, but my experience is that this is backwards, actually.  It is something that is always there but we have been trained away from it.  It is like a lost language of our souls, a language of AWARENESS.  The “rising” of kundalini is the dropping of your dependence on the sensorial world and focusing more on the inner subtle world of your own energy body, which is part of your own birthright.  ALL of my experience in awakening is akin to learning to become aware of an inner sense that has gotten blotted out.  A new world begins to emerge and as this happens, what was subtle becomes more overt, identifiable, and as THAT happens, you WILL be filled with Gnosis, the intelligence that is IN the universe.  Doubtful?  You don’t have to take my word for it….

It is not uncommon for one center to affect another near it as well as others at the other end of it.  This is a dynamic energy system that is not closed but open to all others.  The effect can be that it draws energy up from the root as well as initiating a new or different flow of the energy in the light body, which is your eternal vehicle for being.  I do caution you to learn about kundalini first, to understand it before moving into awakening it.  If you have the opportunity to do work prior to awakening, this can be very beneficial since once kundalini begins, you are having to deal with the powerful scrutinizing energy of this force in you and this can put a lot of pressure on you initially. That is, if you had a choice.  I did not have that choice, although I was seeking to deal with some old issues which did have a part to play in waking the infinite in me.

First, it is important to understand that this is so simple that it seems like you are not doing anything.  At first.  K?  A light touch, seemingly nothing at first.  Inconsequential.  Can it be so simple as that?  This is a light knock at the door.  But it begins in just this way.

Focus your attention on the third eye.  Just put your attention there.  Close your eyes if you need to and place your inner vision at that point just between your eyebrows.  Lift the eyes upward slightly.  The Hindu tradition describes having the tongue on the roof of the mouth as if this completes a circuit.This might help, but honestly, I have never seen any benefit myself, but then I got kundalini without using it and perhaps it might be a posture that facilitates more than it initiates.  Maybe a small but important difference?    But placing attention on a center will build energy there.  Over days, weeks, the center will become conditioned by this energy of your own consciousness.  If it is ready, then it will respond.  If not, the threshold will be higher.

You do not need to think about anything.  Just keep your attention there.  This is very much a light touch, a lightness that entrains your attention on the kind of light touch that will be returned to you.  Your energy body will do the rest. You will feed energy into that chakra. Trust. If you feel as though the place on your head begins to activate, as though there is a slight bit of pressure on your forehead, this means that it is simply working in a powerful way. It may also be that you do not get results right away.  Put into it what you must put into it.  Everyone is different.

Realize that imagination is a powerful tool.  It is one reason why guided visualization is so useful and is so often used.  Energy will cohere to how you feel… is after all, what you are.  The quality of your feeling will also be the quality of your energy.  Simple.  So knowing this, if you imagine a rushing of your energy, it is possible that energy can begin to take on this trait after some time with it.  If you are blocked, then energy can be blocked unless you imagine these blocks softening and being broken up by some force, like water.  IN visualizing, or imagining, things will have a tendency to follow along with feeling.  Your energy is as you are in the moment, but the energy itself is in o way limited and so it can lead you to new ways of feeling and being if you learn to stop directing and begin following, which is the next leg or stage in all of this.  At least it was for me.  Energy, you see, is full of awareness, full of information and feeling.  Keep that in mind….

As you do this third eye focus, feel your whole body soften and become light.  If something feel blocked or hard, don’t get upset.  Just observe it and think “I think that can become unblocked easily just by letting the flow go into it” and consider that it could be a very easy thing, and if you do, chances are, it will be.

Breathing helps to move energy, it is one reason for an entire discipline dedicated just to breathing, called pranayam. Breathing is coincident with prana.  They both move together. Often just how you breath can help to soften your energy flow.  Let your breathing move from deep within your diaphragm and then up into the top of your lungs.  This will aid in the flow.  Taking breath that is slow and steady, almost hypnotic, which is very similar to your breathing when you begin to fall asleep is a very good way to breath.  It wil send your body all the signals that it should be relaxed.  This in turn will slow your mind down and relax your thoughts.  Body and mind will move together. Slow and steady and deep breaths are very good for this kind of work. However, make your breaths that feel most natural and relaxing to YOU because if a method does not feel natural to you, it will not help you reach a natural state.  Honor your own rhythm.  If you need a different rhythm later, your body and energy state will certainly tell you so and your breathing will naturally change as you seek to adjust it.  One very good method for calming down is to hold one nostril closed while breathing in several times (up to four) in and out deeply while changing to the other nostril in order to do the same breaths.  If you do this before settling in to focus on your third eye, this can help to relax you very quickly.  By putting your attention on your breath, it can help wash away any of the stray thoughts leaking in around the edges of your mind.  Before you know it, you will find yourself in a much more serene place.  Do the breathing for as long as you need to; we are all different and will different degrees of breathing for relaxation.

When the third eye begins to develop a sense of pressure in it, this is something fairly significant.  In awakening, my third eye developed a sense of pressure that expanded well beyond the third eye area as I had known it for years.  I had felt the third eye activate in the past as something about the size of a dime and it felt like someone had placed a dime on the spot….a sense of pressure-like awareness there.  In all the years of this happening, I can’t say any kind of phenomenon ever occurred that I could pin to the opening of the third eye.  I suspect it never reached its fuller opening.  Now here is where you simply let it seem like nothing.  You don’t have to figure out what to do next, except keep your attention on your third eye.  Keep putting your attention or focus on it.  Just that. In a number of cases something has happened when the third eye has opened, and it is quite interesting, almost alarming for how vivid it is, but for now, I will save you the details because if anyone does this, I would be interested in what people experience.

It is possible for the pressure to build so strong that it feels like someone is grasping your temples and squeezing.  That was what I thought was happening to me when all of this was happening.  I thought that this was someone in the ether who was pressing on my temples.  I did not feel alarmed, I just lay there and let it happen, figuring there was a reason for it. I did not seek to break the experience but went with it.  It often would just fade after a little while with no rhyme or reason.  It would then start up again the next  night, which was when I was most prone to these experiences.  Relaxed!  In one case, the pressure spread so far that it wrapped all the way around my head from front to back!  I felt these bands, actually, several, like three of them there.  I realized that the drawings in the Vedic literature of Shiva with those bands was the same exact thing I was feeling.  This was, I knew, the origin of what was called the Tilak, a colored band that is painted on the foreheads of saddhus or mendicant monks of the Hindu tradition.  This was a memory of the powerful third eye opening!  Did it make me feel mystical?  Deep?  Dreamy?  Nope.  Very much still me.  Pinch.  Yep; still all there.  Very much there.  The hint here is that this is a HUMAN thing, not something you get from the ascended beings from Mount Pramayana. I joke.  But I am allowed…..

So just let it all happen and pass.  If it does happen in this way, then it is all good.  This is the first stage in a possible awakening.  It is one piece of the puzzle.  It is not all of it, but if this works for you, then it can lead to other things.  I know that this is not the way kundalini always rises, though. Like I said in the title, it is a piece of the puzzle.  Your mileage may differ, of course!  However, I do know that the third eye may well be an important piece in the energy equation.  For some, awakening is direct ad moves right up the spine when ready.  Sometimes we can be jolted into awakening by others,  and sometimes people have had awakenings on the heels of a trying physical experience.  I have read of people waking up as the result of taking LSD, as a result of childbirth and also after an injury.  Perhaps it is the radical shift that unlocks the energy patterns enough for it to flow with your awareness shifted.  This may also be why anything that shifts awareness is outlawed.  Thankfully they cannot outlaw meditation.  Maybe put out articles saying how dangerous it can be…..and as for that one, I will let you decide.

Look both ways before crossing the street!


So this is a bit long, but it begins to lay out issues related to manifesting and the physiological and psychological basis for how this will work for you.  Understanding the root of it can help you in knowing how to resolve issues later on down the line by applying these basic principles. All of this has been the result of direct experience, not from other sources.

Sometimes the idea of being able to manifest what you want in life seems like so much woo-woo, right?  The rational mind cannot see how any of this is possible.  There is a reason for this.  In a world where we really have leaned so heavily on the rational left-brained side of our awareness and consciousness, it can be hard for us to realize there might actually be a different way.  After all, stories of natives in the jungles dancing to bring rain just sounds like so much silly superstition, right? In an earlier post I wrote about how the medicine man Rolling Thunder was often observed harvesting plants that were not available at the time when he was harvesting them.  People would observe how he would need a flowering plant for a healing only to go out and find it along the path he was walking.  In my life my daughter has been able to observe this phenomenon as she wishes for a desk that is the same height as her bed only to find one the next day, set out by the dumpster, in perfect condition with a chair that is brand new AND at the exact height of her bed.  She has seen how when something was needed, it was found within a day.  The last time this happened, I had wished for a jewelry case for my gallery.  These are normally a couple hundred dollars used.  I walked into my local thrift store, saw a jewelry case up ahead but didn’t have a price on it.  With a ratty table for over a hundred dollars sitting next to it, I breathed deep and wished for the case to be fifty fifty dollars after the attendant went into the back to ask what the price was for the case.  They came out and put $50.00 on it.  Perfect, you see.  Even though I knew that the few cases they had in their store were at least a hundred dollars or more, I did not let this affect me.  I breathed deep and knew I could have it for less.  I simply used a tool located within the feeling self to make it happen.  I know it may sound like magic, and perhaps for now we can just call it that, or we can call it the power we all have to manifest things through unordinary methods.

The left brain, seat of much of the processing power for linear object-based understanding is a machine that excels at identifying things.  It has been an important part of our toolkit for physical survival.  See the threat, and take care of it!  Done. Nice left brain.  Did the job, brought home the bacon, pat, pat on the head. We have come to enshrine the left brain to a great degree, and I think we have done so at the cost of the other side of our brains and our being.   If you know anything about the energy system of the light body, you will know that the right side of the body has been seen as the part of the larger energy system that carries the masculine energy up the nonphysical template of the nadis or etheric energy channels.  You may also know that in the physical body the brain and body do a little switch so that the right and left sides of the brain control the opposite side of the body.  What you might not know is that the etheric energy also does a cross in the brain or near the crown so that masculine energy goes up into the left brain while the feminine current that moves up the left side of the body runs up into the right side of the brain.  This crossing that takes place energetically is the way nature and the cosmos has chosen to assure that your own body and light body have access to the necessary union for a fuller realization of what it is capable of, which is a subtle and overt blending of two different polarities within the body. This happens etherically, and it also happens physically.  It serves as a template for allowing a broad range of experience to happen all within our very small frames.   We may not have developed a device to show all you left-brainers out there that this energy exists, but we do have systems that utilize an understanding of those current channels such as acupuncture as well as movement disciplines such as Thai Chi, Chi Gung, and even the martial arts of Judo and Karate, just to name a few.  Once you realize how movement assists in the flow of energy, then these seemingly woo-woo movements stop being so and take on a broader context.  Movement is an important aspect in releasing karmic knots or energy blocks in the body, both energetic and physical.  So in the same way that a masculine current runs up one side, a feminine runs up the other.  This is energy 101.  These energies merge and are used in your awareness to build what you are.  You are literally drawing off an infinite source of energy, whether you know it or not, to focus your own awareness and consciousness in the world.  This means that one half of the equation, the yin or feminine, has a voice in all of this.  You determine how much of each you use based on a slew of factors, some which have to do with your own personality and habits, as well as what feels “right” to you.  The only thing keeping you from a full awareness of that point of union of both the feminine and masculine which exists in everyone is AWARENESS.  Simply that.  No switches, no knobs to turn, no mantras or methods.  You were born with it.  Anyone can experience huge loads of the feminine energy flowing through them, even if they are male.  All you have to do is allow it to happen.  The same is true for the masculine.  The only thing that is keeping you from feeling them is your own choice and filtering process that is in place. Your own subconscious decisions are all made and you do not even know they have been made, but you can drift away from your normal mode of doing things easier than you might realize in order to experience these energies more powerfully or differently.  I know because I have done it ad it has never once resulted in my feeling estranged from who I am, but in many ways helped to clarify what I am and how I feel.  The secret is in ALLOWING it, and this allowance is achieved through feeling. This allowing is the right brain, the feminine, the yielding aspect of your personality.  If you have a great capacity to yield, you might well find that you have a greater ability to bring in the powers of the right brain into your life

All the gurus who speak of divine union speak of this not being a thing of the mind.  It is far larger than anything the mind itself could come up with or hope to mirror.  When I say mind, I do not mean brain.  Mind is a construct within the brain or within our awareness (which some scientists are saying is actually not all located IN the brain but appears now to be all throughout the body…imagine that!)

The part of your mind that is incessantly talking and rambling, even right now, is the part of your brain that processes language and does so in a highly organized and linear way. This is simply how language and verbal communication is most often.  So the left brain is set up to deal with most of this processing.  But while it can identify and choose individual words, it falls flat in being able to take in the forest of words.  It is not so good at broad concepts or ideas that are of a more transcendental nature.  This is why people who try to shoe-horn the rational into transcendental experiences  fail miserably.  The zen master Taishen Deshimuru observed that monks who were overly mental in their personalities had the hardest time with reaching a state of transcendent awareness. They were simply using their left brains far too much.  But like anything, how we are is based partly in habit and you can change those habits to let in a broader range of experience.

I know it is not 800 words and I have not even mentioned manifestation, but I just need to lay this foundation, so hang on there….

When you shift into the right mind, it is such a different part of your being, you might not even recognize it at first.  For as good at the left brain is in organizing, the right brain does something very different.  And this right brain also mirrors a nonphysical character to your soul, too, just as the left brain does.  Two brain hemispheres are thus merged through a large nerve bundle called the corpus callosum, and in the physical this is the point of union for them, something that also happens in a similar place with the etheric energy streaming in. Allowing the two to speak to each other is where inspired states take place.  Recognizing right brain activity is the first step in giving it more leeway in your awareness. There is a lot of truth to the sense that the right brain  is highly sensual, free, and fluid. The right brain has excelled in bringing us great discoveries and imagining the impossible simply because it is quite simply able to conceive of the inconceivable.  This means the right brain can lead you to very revolutionary states of feeling and being, ones that never even existed before.  The right brain, also,  has the capacity of conceiving the infinite because of how it has developed. It also has a curious ability to not be oriented along lines of boundaries and old repetitive patterns.  We like to think of this as a kind of radical out-there woo-woo artsy mind-set, but this is only a result of the fact that so few people actually utilize their right brain in an aware and awake way.

I was speaking with a Chemistry professor who teaches at the same university that I do about this issue.  I said it was too bad that we do not teach students how to be creative.  By this I did not mean artistically creative, but just creative thinkers.  She said “That is what everyone here calls the”he’s smoking weed” mentality!” ”  What she meant by this was the sense that when we shift out of the rational mind and into the right brain mode, it is seen as a whole lot of airy-fairy silliness.  Or smoking weed.  Out there, man! You get the idea.  But this is unfortunate, which both she and I agreed because its the incredible power of the right brain that can bring you discoveries that do not always come from the daily grind of testing compounds in order to find just the right one.  This method works great, but it is incredibly time consuming. It does not occur to most people that there might be a different way, a way that is the territory of the right brain.  We don’t know that much about it simply because we spend so little time working effectively with the right brain to even know its capacities.  I will say, though that we DO use it, we just are not used to a more balanced approach.  We are kind of holding the dam back in a sense, the little dutch boys of our world. What would happen if we just let that flow move on through? Maybe be brave and bold and not be concerned if people around us started saying “Oh, she is on weed….”

During my awakening process, I reached a place where I was surrendering more and more  my old ways of being and thinking.  As I let ego go more and more, I found that it curiously sparked my creativity in a pretty big way.  I had ideas just springing out all over the place.  Books, new designs for work.  All of it was almost too much to keep up with.  I have a backlog of work right now all based on that activity. I have shifted awareness somewhat simply because it begins to get a little ridiculous for me to have so many ideas and not enough years to make them in. But as I let go of the old way, I relaxed into a very sensual mode where I felt more expansive.  I was not as hemmed in mentally.  I was more easy, more fluid.  I saw that ideas were just pouring in.  The tap in my consciousness where ideas came from went from sudden bursts to a steady flow.  It became a flow of ENERGY in my body and at any time I could convert it into ideas.  All I had to do was turn my attention in that direction and there they would be.  I was, in truth, in a state of near-constant inspiration.  The right brain allows, the left brain focuses. So let yourself ALLOW this state to be in your awareness and body!

One way to know that you are getting there is you feel a sense of drift. You do not focus on doing this, you ALLOW yourself, and this is important in order to KEEP this going.  Where the rational left brain focuses, the right allows.  It does not grasp.  Left brain does that. The right brain steps back and just sees.  It is not making judgements, it is taking it all in.  This is important to being able to be a great innovator because in this state you let all of your hidden biases go at least for the time being. These biases govern how you think and behave whether you know it or not.  As a result, things that you could not anticipate come to you effortlessly. In fact, they can seem accidental because it was so effortless. This should help you to anticipate the great power hidden in this part of you.  Meditation can often lead you there, but one of the most effective means is learning how to either quiet the monkey mind that likes to chatter, or to do what some do which is to not mind that the mind is chattering and to develop a kind of middle focus where you hear the chatter but it no longer bothers you.  It is like a train going down a track.  You tend to tune it out after a while, or you might wind up just listening to the patterns without paying attention to what is being said.  But you tune that out.  What you are tuning in is the holy grail of all enlightened states, and I will tell you right here and right now that it is assisted by waking up and using the right brain.  ONce you get that part in on the game, you can bring the two hemispheres into balanced action.  And all of this enlightenment talk is itself something that is firmly planted in physiology.  It is NOT a spiritual energetic off in the ether thing only.  The body HAS to register it in order to recognize it.

The double benefit from bringing this on is an acceleration of a force that has the most unusual tendency of bringing things to you at the perfect time.  This story is symbolized, whether it happened or not, by Buddha awakening and realizing that he was hungry.  Just then someone came by who offered him a bowl of rice to eat. When you begin to utilize this part of the mind the blending of the two vibrations has an uncanny effect of bringing you just what you need in the moment. This is along the lines of dancing for rain, yes.  And yes, it works.  The more you ALLOW the better it works. This means that you learn to become expert at making a clear wish that has no hurdles within you in feeling or belief that would keep it from happening, and you let it go and not dwell on it. This is important for some reason I have not fully understood, but it feels a lot like writing down your order on a piece of paper and then sending it to the kitchen where the staff work on it until it is done.  IN this case, it is the universe working on it. This is the part that seems like magic, and I suppose if you want to use that term, then fine.  Perhaps, using that same logic, this has been why we even HAVE the term magic to begin with, which is that we have observed over a long time period that some people just seem to have a knack for getting what they need or want.  Some people have the uncanny knack of getting it in the most miraculous of ways.  So we call it magic because we do not understand it.  But I am not describing something that a magician like Randi might employ, but rather something else that we are taught does not exist even though we see its presence in our lives or in our friends’ lives from time to time…

The idea that you can manifest things in your life may seem like magical thinking until you actually try it. I have found that all the things I needed or wished for I have gotten. I also ask for big things, things that I feel will help me in the major movements of my life.  This wishing made it possible for me to go to both undergraduate and graduate school without owing a penny in loans.  I simply asked for a way where I would be able to pay for it, to afford something that given my meager means I could somehow swing.  I had no idea what that would look like, but in one case it meant being admitted to a school where my tuition was waived the entire time I was there while also being paid a modest amount of money each month. In another case, I had another tuition waiver and also worked my way through school as part of this waiver. As an artist, I did not want to have to pay a mortgage each month, so I asked for a way to have a home without the mortgage payment.  I was able to pay for a home in total, no mortgage.  These are just a few of the things that I wished for and found coming to my door. In some cases, these were things that I had little or no say in, they just happened.  It seems that the less control I have over them, the better able they are to happen in the right way.

In your mind, you must allow the right brain to flow.  This is not doing, but allowing.  It is not trying to cause the water to break into a wave in your awareness but in standing back sufficiently  to let the flow develop and grow.  This wave of energy will build as long as you keep your awareness out of the rational left brain.  The energy of the left breaks all wave phenomenon. Period.  The way you observe all of this will need to change, too. This was the “focus” I learned when awakening came and I have since observed that it is a focus that monks and those who reach higher states use. It means turning off the talking mind.  It also means allowing yourself to naturally float into a kind of nowhere place that can take you into sleep if you are not careful.  It also involves turning off your need to identify phenomenon while observing it. THIS is very hard to do and seems to be something that takes a while to develop. However, it can be done. It is the very same type of focus that brings on dream imagery as you slowly drift into sleep.  Have you ever laid down to sleep and found yourself drifting and beginning to dream and something inside of you asks “Hey, where am I?”  And bam!  You are awake.  The dream stops.  The wave of phenomenon ceases.  For anyone who has had out of body experiences, similar things have happened.  You go into an “altered” state (right brain) and find yourself floating, perhaps standing by a window.  You stop and ask yourself how you got over to the window and as quick as can be, you are back in your body.  THIS is the same type of drift I am talking about.  It is nothing and something all at once.  You are kind of dropping into this place within you that is like a vast sea of possibility and as you allow your awareness to let the waves develop, they do, until you bring in the rational mind and ego consciousness, which just breaks everything down into discrete particles and the wave ceases.

You do the same thing with creating events in your life.  The nature of all energy is that it attracts more oft itself.  If you do not have any impediments in feeling within you, the energy of the wish is free to move out and attract itself in the physical. I see it as a circular motion where the wish is conceived, it moves through your being like a ripple and then begins to affect the world around you.

“But hang on there, chief.  You say that I can manifest things in my life.  I wished to win the lottery, and that was twenty years ago and I am still playing the lottery without a single win!”

What I would tell you is that you have to be very clear about your feelings.  Yes, you may be VERY excited at the prospect of winning hundreds of millions of dollars.  Who wouldn’t, right?  But very likely, lurking in there, is some competing belief or feeling that disrupts the flow of this energy.  Otherwise, you would have had some kind of win within a reasonable amount of time.  This does not mean everyone wins the lottery, but it does not bar that possibility either. We just believe it is not possible for everyone to win all at once. So that does not and will not happen. So how do you feel about money? Do you feel like it is something of a curse?  How do you feel about other people who DO have money? Do you feel like its unfair that some have it and some do not?  Or how about having money leading to greed or lack of caring?  Do you wish you had more money but somehow feel like you are not deserving of it?  You have to be able to be very honest with yourself when it comes to this part, and if there is anything standing in the way, then it will certainly affect the power of your wish.  Even a sliver of a doubt can have a countervailing effect.  You want this to be a wish that has nothing standing in its way.  Knowing that this is all a matter of clearing up your own insides can lead you to doing the interior work necessary for making manifesting more possible in your life.

Not convinced?

During awakening, I had the stirring of a desire to teach more.  My studio was to yet at a point where I felt comfortable having the public coming in even though the space was certainly adequate for having large groups in.  I had the thought how nice it would be to be able to teach at the college level. I even looked at job offerings with the thought that maybe for a while I might even move somewhere where I could teach.  It was about a month after this that I was called by a local community college and asked if I would be willing to teach their sculpture class.  I was called at 1:15 in the afternoon and the deal was I had to be there at three to start the first class! No interview, no paperwork.  I got that all done in the weeks that followed. I was also told by someone in the community that a position at another school would be opening up for a sculpture professor.  I interviewed for it and got the job.  I wasn’t really ready to be full-time, but rather preferred to be able to dip my toes into it while still being able to run my studio business.  The job was itself part-time.  Perfect.  This has worked out very well.

So there you go.  But it also gets more interesting as you get into the semesters I have been teaching….

When I began, I still had some issues I had to work through that were still very much pressing down on me, which namely had to do with blocks related to authority and personal power.  I was a bit of a mess during those days.  I was simply not in my own power.  The students I had also tended to reflect this, too.  I had students who were dishonest and who sought to shift blame for their own shortcomings onto me.  I had to look at this issue squarely and learned it had to do with how I was to owning my own personal power.  When I was able to do this more and more, I found that the quality of my students changed dramatically. Partly this was due to my behavior having changed.  There was no sense that I was a push-over anymore but held everyone accountable which was a direct result of my holding myself more accountable.  I wasn’t a hard ass, no, I simply had a better mix of  qualities that helped me to keep my classes on a more even keel.  The group dynamic changed and students enjoyed the classes more less based on what I was offering and more on the chemistry present amongst the students themselves.  This has now led to our doing a group project in glass that will involve my students creating an installation of glass sculptures in a garden space on campus.  As I have been able to stand up for what is correct instead of being a push-over as I was due to fear issues, I have found a much better way to be.  This does not mean that I have to act aggressively, but to be firm and follow what is true.  Those who cannot or will not fall into that type of alignment tend to weed themselves out of my life pretty quickly through their own actions or behaviors. I no longer see this as a loss but a gain.  But as long as I allow bad behavior to continue, I am giving it a pass.  All of this has changed how things work for me both on an overt day-to-day way as well as on a more subtle level.  This has had huge ripple effects, far larger than I could have even imagined, but in the end I know that while I may not see how any given event will work out, it always works out for the very best. I am simply no longer caught in the old way of doing things.  And life can get simpler.  I am still working on this, there are more layers to peel back and resolve, but it is the kind of thing that I can live with!  The more you own your life, the more you own your feelings, the more you work on yourself, the more the world will mirror these same qualities. And this can happen on a dime.  It is broad, too.  It can affect not just one corner, but all corners of your life.

So what do you say?  Want to give this principle a run for its money? I will begin by saying that you have actually been using this principle all along except that you have had some competing material standing in the way.  This material is both emotional, belief, and karmically based.  It is YOU, but it is the part of you that is not fully resolved.  When you resolve it in feeling, you literally clear a path for the energy to run unimpeded.  And this is very much what happens with a kundalini awakening within your body. You work with it to clear these blocks. Most of them may resolve without your even knowing what they were or where they emerged from, you don’t NEED to know. You can just let them go in favor of a better way of feeling. The degree to which you are not invested in the old way is the degree to which you can let it go.  The less mental you are in your approach, the faster it can be.  The more you tell yourself there is “work” to do is the degree to which you delay the work being done….which isn’t work at all. It is a simple realization of what you are beyond what some call “illusion” and what I call “creation.” Because all of this is what we have created.  You can call it false beliefs, but I find that too off the mark. They are real, but they do not serve you.  they only serve a broken sense of being that you have taken on in your belief system.

Now is the time to start changing it, and the way is knowing that you can!

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