Archives for posts with tag: yoga

A large part of what I write about on this blog has been about how to release stored emotional energy that is in the body. I do this because of its connection to our ability to know the deeper self. It also is work that can make an awakening experience far less chaotic or difficult. Some people who either awaken without preparation or do so spontaneously can wind up in a state of psychosis. While I speak and write glowingly of awakening, it is our own backlog of stored trauma that causes great difficulty with so much prana (which is kundalini) now animating the good and the not-so-good within.

There are numerous ways to assist in releasing stored emotional trauma. One of the ways that I have been exploring this has been a direct result of earlier releases which have made an awareness of how fundamental the hips are in aiding in clearing trauma that is stored there. This is where the root chakra rests and it is also home to a set of muscles yogis have dubbed “the seat of the soul.” These muscles make up what is called the psoas (pronounced “so-as”). These muscles are where the most basic and earliest traumas in life are stored. Without proper care, this muscle group can not only store trauma, but can also lead to a number of lower back problems that include a weak, unnatural, or shuffling gate,  and body pain that radiates down to the knees and up though the hips into the lower lumbar regions. Knowing how to stretch and tone the psoas will leave you feeling as though you have a new lease on life. While Voltaire claimed the pineal the “seat of the soul,” the psoas is in my experience the real honest to goodness seat of the soul. This region will impact your self worth, feelings of abundance, and creative fire, to name a few.

The psoas is so basic and foundational a muscle group that it governs our most basic of emotions and feelings in our bodies. When this muscle group is stressed our whole being feels out of place. When this muscle group is cleared stretched and toned you can go from feeling trapped and oppressed and full of pain to feeling light and like a child again.

I’m going to describe one of the most effective ways to begin to release stress from the psoas. There are also some stretches that are used in yoga that have been used for centuries for stretching and toning the psoas.

To understand how foundational this muscle group is,  you need only look at the illustration below to see that the psoas is the bridge between the legs and torso. Like back muscles, if this muscle group doesn’t get  enough stretching and toning, it can develop soreness and rigidity that telegraph’s that pain and rigidity throughout the body making you feel “yuck.”

Trauma Release Exercise (TRE) is one of the most effective ways to release stored trauma in this muscle group. A quick look on youtube will reveal countless videos that reveal how this method works, and I also have a detailed post that delves into this extremely simple yet effective method (search on my blog “TRE”).  It works by causing the body to go into tremors which help release stored emotional energy that is in the body (who knew, right?).  Humans are the ONLY mammal that does not have the instinct to shake after a traumatic event has occurred. In fact, more often than not humans will freeze when trauma is experienced. This is how trauma is stored in the body, and it will remain there as an energetic and physiological imprint until it is removed or released. By inducing shaking in this important muscle, everyone can utilize the therapeutic effect of shaking as an effective means for releasing trauma from earliest life.

This method, which I have detailed before (search “trauma release” in the search section) involves lying with your back on the floor and your behind lifted up about six inches off the floor, doing so until the leg muscles become fatigued so they begin to shake. This shaking begins to help release stored emotion. You might find that a lot of hard emotions come up, and it’s important to not hold these emotions back. You need to let them flow without “grabbing” for them. If you adopt this approach, you will find success with this method.These emotions are in the past and there is nothing to fear.

In the illustration above, a large pillow can be used to rest as needed. The lifted position of the pelvis is very helpful in getting the stress to move deep into the hips.

Next, stretching the psoas is very helpful. In fact, if you do it regularly you will feel as though you have a new lease on life. Believe it or not, this very simple act can lead to releasing karma. The one way we release karma is by forgiving ourselves (not others, although this is indeed helpful and an important prelude to self forgiveness when it comes). Feeling the weight of past “debts” bearing on you is not how karma is ever released. Once you shift how you feel deep down, it is easier to reach into the light that is the new life that comes through this work. It might sound unlikely that such a simple thing as stretching can shift and evaporate karma, but it is in fact an important run-up to getting into the right space where these debts can go forever.  It always involves a deep recognition of forgiveness.  No God or outside agency can do this for you; it is an inside job.  Winks.

auraspa.net

This stretch, shown above, is very helpful. Start off slow and don’t stretch beyond your comfort zone. Over time, you will loosen the psoas more and more.
If this stretch is uncomfortable  at first, you can lie flat on the edge of a table or bed and let each leg dangle over the edge, allowing you leg to flex at the hip. This is a little lower impact than a full stretch. You can detect imbalances in your energy field by way of tightness, muscle pain, pressure, as well as issues with balance while performing this stretch.  As I have gotten into using this stretch I have found that I am increasingly more off balance, which might not seem correct at first.  The nature of releasing blocks is that as the block begins to let go (this can be of short duration while stretching or it could occupy weeks or months of time as you work this block out), unsteadiness can often be a symptom of your becoming increasingly aware and present with the block.  This is not a bad thing!  It is a wonderful sign that your body is beginning to “speak” to you to let you now that something big is up. It is also possible to feel a range of sensations from a liquid-like feeling of motion in the body surrounding the block, heat, cold, electrical shocks, and waves of emotion.  Don’t let a strong wave of emotion stop you; this is where the best work is actually being done!

Next, lying flat on your back, bring each leg in turn up to your chest, which will also stretch the “glute” muscle group in the behind. This will also stretch the psoas where it ties into the lower back, an important place for releasing stored stress. Take it slow. Hold this for many minutes. Begin holding one minute and slowly extend it into the three to four minute range. In time, you will be able to naturally stretch into these deep positions naturally. Go slow; this is not a race and your muscles groups, if they have blocks in them, may also be very tight, so you will need to move slowly but persistently over time to help loosen things up.  This will help release body armoring (also called emotional armoring) when you bring thought, feeling, and body together as one in these movements. In fact, as I do these exercises, I will often begin getting intense sensations related to the psoas that in the past might have made me wonder if I should continue, but don’t let feeling emotionally rough stop you; this is a sign that the healing is happening.  Continue with it until it is stretched, massaged, and released. Wait for it; it will come, simple as sunshine.

One final note: stored energy isn’t just in muscle. It is also in the interface between tendon and muscle. By holding a stretch long enough, you give the time needed for the stress to release in the tendons. During a therapy session recently, I had a body worker releasing stress in my elbow, something that had developed as a result of over stressing it in my work. By pressing down and stretching the tendon in a hold, I was able to feel the tension/stress release which felt like water pressure leaving a tube. Once this happened, the tension bound in the tendon was gone for good.

I found that the tension went deeper into the tendon where it connects to the bone. Having learned the technique for release, I pressed deeper and closer to the bone. Once clear, the memory of the trauma was released. While the stress in my elbow and forearm wasn’t emotional stress, the body responds to it the same way. When stretching, let yourself stretch deeper as you go, gently but persistently. You do not want to create tears. Slow and gentle is better than being overly aggressive.

So there you have it: practice this and you will find immediate relief from stored emotion in the hips.

yoanu.comSource:  yoanu.com

 

Do you find yourself having trouble with much of the music out there today that gets airplay over the radio waves? Do you find yourself having trouble with your old play lists that you listened to before awakening? Old favorites that have just….fallen away?

Oh so much changes, doesn’t it? I know that at a certain point in my process, I could no longer watch certain movies or even listen to certain kinds of music. So much of our world is drenched in this vibration of hardness, and it shows in the music we listen to. I recently began to reflect on all of the really great music that I have listened to over the last ten years that helped me to find a place to be where I could still listen to music without going into the wrong kind of overwhelm.

 

So if that has been the case for you, I have a treat or two hiding in here for you!

 

I have a list. It is in truth, a lot of different stuff, but its been selected because it has at different periods of time, helped to support me in my process.  Some days, I just could not listen to ANYTHING deeply rhythmic because, awakening.  But other times, I NEEDED that deep beat.   But mostly?  I needed something that wasn’t drenched in the drama and BS of popular culture. Some of the music is great for work, yoga, meditation practice (if you use music at all) and for just getting around through the day. I have selected out all of the things that didn’t put me in a funk and that usually tend to lift me up or helps to put me in one great zone or another (some very quiet and subtle). I don’t know about you, but my tastes range all over the place, and what suits me one day does not work the next. I have all kinds of play lists often just to suit the mood. So the list….it ranges all over the place, too. I hope you can pick up a few things to add to your sonic tool box. So sharpen your pencil, take down some names and head over to i-Tunes to listen to the free samples, or try them on YouTube.

 

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, and there is a lot that is not included because it might only be one great song on one album, but this should be something to get you started on a new sonic-mind space groove. Note: everything I am listing, except for a few noted exceptions, can be found on i-Tunes. Injoy!

 

What’s your favorite music these days?  Care to share?  I’m expanding my list on a daily basis and would love to hear from you.

 

 

 

Elephant Revival. An eclectic blend of styles rooted in folk, but without slavery to instrumental styles that hem them in. My favorites from their most recent album Petals are Peace Tonight, Petal.



Their album These Changing Skies is their second most recent album and it’s worth taking a look/listen because the sound is a little different in some ways, while staying true to their quiet calming meditative music. In some ways, there are songs on this album I like even more than their most recent Petals. Make sure to check out

Birds and Stars, and Down To The Sea – I do have to admit that these soft-sided works often get a little much for me; I like some variety, so Down To The Sea feels a little turned inward, but I am sure you will like it in the right pairing, right? Also, Rogue River is worth listening for a bit of unexpected bluesy variety on the same album. Rogue is a bit hard in the lyrics, though.

 

Here is a link to one of their songs on youtube:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LgHDFHzMI4

 

Jai-Jagdeesh. Taking a sudden turn into the Bakhti vibe, there is the work of Jai-Jagdeesh who blends western with Indian sensibilities. This is good for those who want longer songs, more contemplation, less just easy listening, but often delightful and uplifting. Her album I Am Thine is made up of mostly long six to eight-minute tracks that help to keep you in the groove. I liked the first song on the album Aad Guray Nameh. And while the title track I Am Thine might be pretty popular, I liked Om Namah Shivaya Raam more because it departed from the more mellow rhythms and had a more bluesy feel, which is always interesting to me from a creative standpoint. Her earlier album Of Heaven and Earth has a little more upbeat feeling overall, and might be worth a listen.

 

Bachan Kaur is another artist whose work seems to be designed for yoga. Her album Anahata has a very folk feel, but this is not because it has traditional folk instrumentals, often just a guitar and a sitar in the background. Her work is spare, but if you want to have a fifteen minute tune, her work could be just the ticket.

 

Mirabai Ceiba is a duo that blends an interesting range of instrumental styles. I found myself grasping for a way to describe their sound. The best I can say is that it is a Celtic-meets-Latin feel. I find that I’d like their work without the singing because the instruments shine so beautifully on their own. Their albums Sevati, and their most recent Sacred Love Meditations, along with several others, are all on i-Tunes.

 

Matisyahu is less meditative music as it is something with a positive message. It has a reggae backbone, toss in some world, and you are done. Light is one of his recent releases and personally, I like the track on Light, One Day the best.

 

Trevor Hall has a great message, and isn’t into the trancy eight minute journey’s, which means that Trevor is a bit like Matisyahu not so much in style, but in that they have a rhythmic instrumental style that lacks the rawness often present in music of this type. I like Trevors music a lot and I find I pepper my play lists with his stuff when I need to break up the longer “trancy” stuff with something that has a nice beat. His last two albums Kala and Chapter of the Forest are two you should start with and explore his earlier work from there. I wouldn’t call his work yoga music though. Its really nice thoughtful music with soul.

 

This is his Youtube channel:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96SGUEnI2uw&list=PL11s0VhvKvosz9kjROX5j11NrnP8meHCJ

 

In a similar kind of rockin’ vein is Michael Franti. Again, his stuff might be too fast for some yoga, but his message is supportive and strong with his hi-hop reggae blended style. In fact, his music is often really great to dance to. His most recent album is Soulrocker.

 

Deva Premal was music I listened to when I did my Qi Gong practice. Her music has a contemporary backbone but well within the New Age style. The focus is on her voice, which she uses very well for create rich landscapes that can help carry you along in your work. It tends to be faster tempo than, say Bachan Kaur. If you want a really wild sound scape, try her Tibetan Mantras for Turbulent Times. This album is most definitely for trance work, if you ask me. Much of her work tends to be mantras sung in the Sanskrit.

 

NOT ON I-TUNES: Now for one that might be hard to get to, but at a certain point in my work, especially meditation and Qi Gung, Vyas Huston’s Victory Over Death fit the bill. It’s a bit severe sounding sometimes, but when its good, it can be really good. I copied the file twice and burned a disc for listening for long periods since it is one giant circle of mantra (but somehow, it doesn’t listen as repetitive because of how the phrases are paced out with the music). And to be fair, he isn’t singing mantras, but reciting a prayer whose words can be found on other sites dealing with Huston and his work.   I was introduced to his work by my teacher Robin and I was able to copy his disc. If you do Thai Chi or Chi Gung, you might see how the pacing of his recitation works really well with the moves of Qi Gung (which my teacher Robin presented to the rhythm of his piece, which is almost half an hour long-perfect for getting in a number of important moves in the Gung).

 

When I went looking for his work on i-Tunes, it didn’t show up, and honestly besides a Youtube video, I am not sure where to tell you to go to get it (if you like it). Vyas is mentioned on the internet here and there, so maybe you can get lucky (and maybe share back here for a link?). Let me know what you think of his work! Until then, this is the link to the youtube that has the piece on it (and a few images that are a dead-ringer for places where I live):

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv4DcBDNwI8

 

 

Moksha (featuring Kanchman Babbar). If you want something in a similar and perhaps more traditional vein, try these Vedic chants by a chorus of 21 Brahmins. Just type “Moskha” in i-Tunes and it should be the first choice that comes up and give it a try. All of the chants are done in a pitch and style that does not vary except the mantras being chanted.

 

Odesza. So nice. One album worth listening to is In Return. First track: Always This Late. This is not meditation music per se, but its great texture and a sonic landscape for….running, working on writing (if the vibrations match what you are doing), cleaning, dancing (?)and heck, maybe even an active yoga routine. Check them out and let me know what you think. Very upbeat, bright, and lovely vocals with a definite electronic backbone to it all. I own their work.

 

 

Emancipator. Another electronic trance groove kind of sound-scape in a similar vein as Odesza. See their album Seven Seas, safe In the Steep Cliffs, and Soon It Will Be Cold Enough. I like their stuff. I have a few of their songs, too!

 

Peter Gabriel. I know, “isn’t he that pop artist who was once with Genesis and did Shock the Monkey?” Yes! If you listen to his music, you will find that all of his work has a driving desire towards awareness. He is a modern Gnostic in my book with his revealing More Than This. He is a kind of revealer of important issues concerning our place in the world. While his music has hit the charts and has had a lot of play, giving his music a listen to revealed, at least to me, a great depth of comprehension about spiritual issues. His album Growing Up, which was also released as a DVD of his live concert (in France, if I remember correctly).   While his work with Genesis was more in the pop/rock vein, his work began to mature once he broke from the band. Some of his work gets hard and even edgy, but some of his songs, like Signal To Noise are dealing with the issue of disinformation and seeking truth. His music was indispensible at a certain phase in my awakening. Blood of Eden speaks to the union of the opposites in consciousness.

 

  1. IZ. Also known as Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, Iz is Polynesian and has a beautiful melodic voice that he matches with equally sensitive lyrics. Iz is no longer with us, but he has left a number of albums like Facing Future, and Alone in IZ World. His is a Hawaiian experience.

 

Yoga Music Co. These folks create music expressly for yoga. Might be worth a try. If you want a quick intro, you can go to youtube:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij28wzJMijI

 

I am not sure if they are i-Tunes but their web site is www.yougamusicco.com. I liked what I heard!

 

For that matter, there are a number of channels on youtube now with music like Yoga Music, so it might be worth a listen and a little seeking to find things that you like.

 

Deborah Van Dyke is a chanter and her work is, as you might have guessed, very repetitive, but these are mantras after all.

 

In a more melodic and musical vein is the work of Donna De Lory, a mix of English and Sanskrit language styling.

 

So what music do you like? Please feel free to share and we can make a nice list for others in desperate need of a sonic transformation!

 

Until next time,

 

-Parker

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In Indian Yogic tradition, the seven rungs of the ladder to cosmic consciousness involve preparation.  You can spend lifetimes climbing these ladders.  Many do.  The belief among nearly every person brought up in this tradition is that you cannot achieve the cosmic without years of preparation.  You just can’t. It is also one reason why I have witnessed people telling me on my blogs from India that what I am talking about cannot be kundalini.  Oh.  And you need to get diksha from a teacher.

A teacher.  Wait…the guru is in you, am I right?

What is happening to most westerners who have been experiencing a broad wave of awakenings is that this old notion is just not so.   Does this mean that the old rules are no longer applicable?  No.  In fact, the “rules” never really applied to us in this regard.  You CAN get there without preparing.  Most Swami’s and yogi’s are fond of saying that when you awaken, you are not attaining anything.  You are only reaching what has always been there.  I agree.  It is the authentic state which nearly every person on the planet has been holding back the flood waters of.  Yes.  But preparation is not a prerequisite.  Preparation is a very good idea, though.

The fact that so many have awakened without a discipline or belief or structure to support them helps to turn old notions on their head.  It also provides me with a view of awakening that comes at the experience from a completely different vantage point.  Without preparation, the self if pitched into a very intense experience where a lot of work needs to be done fairly quickly in order to assist in the reorientation of the self so that large sums of prana can flow through the self and body unimpeded.  Without this, the self tends to crumple, contract, freak, become anxiety-ridden, fearful, or even psychotic.  It is like taking a step outside of your home one morning and finding that there is nothing there and that in order to get to anything, you have to take a giant leap forward in order to land on solid ground.

It means you hurry up and do the work that you need to do.  But it also means that you come at all of this from a very different direction.  The traditions are turned on their head.  This means that with the accelerant of pranic flow present that what you do is also much more effective if you apply yourself to your own intuition and seek ardently.  The higher self is available to you if you just realize that you CAN tap into it.  Awareness is key.  The moment you slip into the old concept of ego, you lose a bit of its power, its majesty that can shoot you to the moon.  Feet on the ground, soul soaring high and free.  There is abundance in both modes of being.  It is not either/or but both. Events will change and life will become your great teacher in ways that show you that every single moment has been a lesson for you.  Good golly, how can I even begin to describe the lessons that pop up in the moment for me in each day?  Life is now rich with these now that I am looking for them, aware that they are there.  And this has the effect of transforming how you see everything.  It sounds grandiose, but its actually quite simple. It is a new way of seeing that is the result of the self thinking to itself that it is mundane and singular and not connected to the All. When you feel the connection to the universe in a nondual way, it is a revolutionary experience because it changes your world view so radically, but also very quietly.  Only here do I crow about it.  I crow about it because of just how amazing it has rendered the old tones and hues of my life.

What I observed in what triggered my awakening is something that I think is of vital importance for us when we speak about awakening.  The Hindu tradition masks this to a certain degree with all of the methods and years of preparation.  And it is this: when you remove what divides you, awakening comes.  I noted this as central to my awakening experience.  When I went to look for some corroborative evidence out there on the internet that others had had my same experience (I didn’t know this had a name like “awakening” or “kundalini”), I found ancient Christian texts that had not made it into the orthodox teachings and were considered heretical.  These documents, it turns out, are part of the origin of Christian thought and instead of being heresy as those in the church have tried to maintain, are now being revealed to be part of the very origin of central teachings of Jesus.  Things get complicated with this, but trust me….I have done extensive research into this area and this is supported by significant research in the last century by historians and linguists.

Awakening without preparation is not impossible.  You just have to contend with a lot of very intense things, many of which are the product of things shrouded in the old belief systems you have had in place previous to it taking place until you can see things differently and BE different.  YOU are the change you want to see in the world.

I know that with all the info out there with systems and methods that it might sound simplistic for me to say that ALL of this is about allowing the flow of prana, but really, that is JUST what ALL of this is.  Along with pranic flow comes the breaking down of your old beliefs along with certain parts of your personality that have been tied to ideas or beliefs that were limiting in nature.  A LOT flows out from prana moving in high volume in the body including the Dark Night of the Soul, siddhis, and a whole range of awakening phenomenon.  But it is just this simple.  Like a mustard seed, you see. It grows large, unbelievably large as it develops.

This can be done.  It is how I did it.  I know, that in a way, I was preparing for years, I just never did yoga or adhere to a belief system or any of that. Is it really effective to go about it this way?  I know that for myself, there was a level of perspective that came with awakening that I don’t think I would have been able to embody had it not been for the whirlwind cleansing that took place during awakening.  I was stuck in my life. I was afraid to make any more because of how the people were in that life.  Awakening helped to shake me out of complacency and showed me my life in brilliant contrasts.  I don’t think I could have gotten to where I am now without it.  It was the missing ingredient I had been seeking my whole life.  In fact, my “seeking” simply came to a complete halt once awakening came. I felt this odd sense of, “…..I am here.  I have done it.” When I thought I had lived an examined life the higher self showed just how pinched and small my perspective had been.  Like a fool, I woke up and realized that yes, this thing is a whole other realm of understanding the self.  And in order for it to keep doing its work, you cannot delude yourself but remain open like a child to the possibilities that what you know today, while vastly different from before awakening, is itself just another point along the road.  the road, meanwhile, goes on for light years….. right?  Each moment can thus become a humbling moment if you let it.  Precious, special, and the only one like it.  So much around it expands into larger dimension making everything here seem inconsequential…..and yet I find that no; every sparrow falls and it is known.  This thing, the divine, interpenetrates everything. And so?  Everything waxes sheer marvel.  There is no such thing as inconsequential.

Waking up is a call to hurry up and do the “work” which is surrendering to the spirit that is what connects you to the divine, the higher self, and to what you are within.  Simple.  Everything else is details.  No I know; what position to sit in?  Whatever is most comfortable to you.  Really.  Diet?  Your inner self will tell you.  Your body will tell you.  Mantra?  “Surrender.”  You don’t need a method.  You only need yourself and a willingness to see it in a new way.  I know this because I have done it.  So can you.

नमस्ते

I wanted to share this article that has just gone up on my sister site Divine Alignment about leg chakras and developing a keener awareness of subtle energy.  Enjoy!

http://divinealignment.blogspot.com/2016/05/energy-awereness-leg-chakras.html

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This post is what was promised from my last post about the core of methods of practices….

I was flush deep in the roiling seas of kundalini.  It was 2009.  I had been moving a lot of blocked energy and with each release I could feel how the prana impacted my body in the turbulent state, energetically, that I was in.  It had an effect on my system that included a lot of nausea.  Every few days I would come against not just one, but a series of blocks.  this is good, but it also made things intense and a little much to take physically.  But it was in the midst of this that I was shown a vision of a desert cat.

The whole scene was meant to illustrate how we shift out of our “dry” left brains into the fluid flowing world of our right brain, the kundalini shakti, the flowing feminine side of our consciousness.  To feel this flow meant removing blocks and still more blocks.  I was shown this leopard and I watched it breath.  I could feel its breath, which was actually a panting breath.  Because I was seeing and feeling the content of this vision, I immediately was able to feel what it was I was supposed to feel.  So I began to breath like this cat was breathing.  I thought about being this cat.  I don’t know why, but cats seem to put me in touch with a sensual aspect of my masculine energy.

It is in truth I think a blending of aspect of both feminine and masculine.  And when you do this in awakening, it brings peace and bliss because two aspects of the self are held so closely within awareness without any division.  So for me, the cat was a good image for my own turn of mind.  Strong, rippling in strength this cat was sleek and sensual.  I felt bliss move all through me as a result.  I was taken, seduced by the bliss of prana.

I panted; the energy moved very strong as my stomach lurched and turned.  I kept at it, and within a day I had moved through the nausea and the block was gone.  There were more blocks to deal with, and many were taken care of with this panting breath which I found moved a lot of energy for the very fact that the image and the breathing helped to support an openess within me that allowed energy to flow.  Since your consciousness IS energy, it isn’t that difficult to understand that the character of your consciousness will help focus and even determine the nature of the energy that flows through you.  The more open and trusting you are of the natural universe, the more direct a connection you will have without any prejudices or biases coloring your perceptions.

But the thing I want to point out is that the important thing in this was the image inside of me, which just “did it” and opened me up.  It was less the breath than this image.  Yes, breath did stimulate my body in certain ways, and breath IS coincident with prana or chi, but it is NOT chi.  Sorry.  It just isn’t.  Breathing CAN stimulate the flow of chi, though.  But as you will see, so can your pure feeling….which is the coolest part….because when you consider that in spirit, in All-Time, you exist without a body.  HOW do you breath?  You breath in your awareness.  If you can get that the breath of your body mirrors the breath of your soul, oh my goodness, the worlds that this can open for you conceptually as a creator of great methods, new methods for people to use that help bring in new aspects of awareness that just weren’t possible a century ago but are now just at our fingertips! Yell it at the top of your heart, your soul, for this is true; amazing things await us….and the boundlessness of creativity will bring it to you if you will but OPEN to it.

I was opened, seduced by the flow of this very sensual of energies, this pranic flow. It was so strong that it almost made me sick.  I got over it, and I would in the following days  use the panting breath as a way to tap this state.  But for it to work, the image must be there.  I have to know what I am reaching for.  I am taking breath into me the way one would say yes to a lover.  Prana is this. YOGA is UNION.  Yoga means just this.  So?

Now, I will say that up to this time, I was not familiar with a breathing method, a well-known one in pranayama and kundalini yoga which is called “breath of fire.”  It is this type of breathing that is supposed to aid in the stimulation of kundalini. When I finally saw a demonstration of breath of fire, I saw that there wasn’t a big difference between what I had been shown to do from my own inner guidance and this method that has been in use for thousands of years.  The question I have for you by way of teaching you about this feeling part that I think is so central, IS central, is how does breathing like this make you feel?  What does it conjure?  If it does not conjure any feeling in you, if it leaves you flat, relatively unmoved, you may not be getting an arousal of prana in the body.  In this case, I would suggest that you let your imagination move you.  Whatever you find is most natural to you will work because prana is bid by how we feel, how we think.  When we are stressed, we are often shutting down these channels of energy and it is this that leaves us, often, feeling tired or worn out.  Feeling a warm thick fluid moving up through you, or the movement of water, or alternating currents of cool and warm air…..if you can put your imagination there, what you conjure by using images like this can lead to moving energy if the stimulating effects of just breathing don’t do it.

So consider trying to pant as a method for moving energy.  In fact, letting your tongue extend slightly out of your mouth might get your feeling this energy. Prana is not just electricity….it is an energy full of feeling.  It is what we feel when we feel bliss.  We release a blockage in our bodies, the energy body, and suddenly things feel clearer, lighter, but there is also a surge of bliss, too.  There is a reason for this, and it has everything to do with what prana IS.  You are matter made conscious, now able to observe itself as the cosmic moves through you.

Prana is your saying yes to life, yes to allowing the bliss of the union of your body with the sustaining life that is the breath of the Tao. So then the breathing movement of the cat breath was what I needed.  But I will let you in on one important secret; once I had the breath work anchored in me, I was able to move energy simply by thinking or visualizing the method without actually doing it.  As a result of this, I was taken deeper into the core of what all breath work is about.  I discovered a form of pranayama that has no use of breath. How do you think you control the flow of energy in your body without breath? You control it through feeling!  BUT.  To do this, you have to have control over your feeling states. It is simple, primal.  Other parts require more practice. All of it is built on an image and this image either does it for you or it does not.  But the core of all of this is caught in feeling.  I know I keep hammering away at this, but this is important.  It is important because the “body” of the universe does not respond to the touch of rational thought, no.  It responds to the touch of the feeling thought.  When you can master feeling, you can bid the universe open to you in ways that it had been closed to you. I can’t begin to suggest how wonderful this can be for us all here.

It emerges from that. It is just that when I say feeling, most people are stuck because that does not give them much to go on.  They start fidgeting and they want the safety of their yoga mat.  I get it.  Its so simple, this.  But the work, the great work of this age, is going to be about people returning to their humanity.  To what it means to be humans, instead of the barbarians we have all collectively been for so long.  Time for healing, cleaning, and this will be the age where humans will get deeper and deeper connected into their feeling states.  And you want to know what this looks like?  Each and every block removed, things just get simpler and simpler. Like how joy is simple.  But it cannot be faked.  You have to reach this authenticity, and it is just as Jesus exhorted his followers: be like children. It is the feeling part of you that is the conduit through which all prana will flow.

It will not flow through your reason. No.  It is not some dry feeling-less thing.  It lives for bliss and joy and creativity.  Match an inner image with this level of boundless joy and wonder and you begin to anchor a whole new feeling within.  The joy I feel is like joy distilled into star light (really).  I cannot begin to even describe it very well….except to say that if you can match an image to a practice, you can use the practice as the anchor.  See? THIS is what so much yoga is about.  And really, folks, there is not a lot of magic in the movements.  Some of them are about helping you to dissolve a block or to open up flow in the body.  But sometimes it is to help just anchor a feeling. Your yoga can be about giving yourself in wild abandon to this thing that is all around and within everything……and after that, anything that anchors that feeling in you will be a practice worth its weight in gold because you know what the practice is intending for you to feel.  So make your own.  Let them flow effortlessly through you and ask yourself….”what does this FEEL like?”  or “If I were a painter of methods, what scene would this feeling wind up being?  How do I instill the same feeling in others?”  That is just what you are seeking to do.  Anything that stimulates the flow works. So maybe the brush of a feather against your neck will give you chills and a sudden warm flow up your leg and into your side and into your head.  Boom.  Pranic flow enabled.  What does this tell you?  it tells you that your body, the flesh, will itself respond to triggers as the energy currents are excited in the body along its surface to trigger a deeper flow of energy.  This then leads to feeling differently in your consciousness.  A perfect example of how working with the body can bring about a change in your consciousness.  Because they are all connected, this makes perfectly good sense.

So not to belabor the point.  Once you get to this place, if you are a creative person, you could come up with dozens of new methods, then spend years honing them in order to bring into them aspects of reflexive elements or trigger points or any number of other supportive moves or methods for what it is that you want to accomplish with your newly minted method.

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I sit and speak with the light.   It is opening up to this great love that lives inside of me.  It has been the one thing that has driven me forward in my process of healing the barrage of blocks, the breaking of old patterns, the dissolving of karma. It is at once the force of awakening as well as my own love.  it is interesting and lovely how my purpose can be a part of it, to learn from it, to heal with it.   It is nestled into each of us….a part of us. It can BE us and we can BE it.  It can also come, probably like Moses saw it, as a burning bush.  Part of it, I know, are aspects of my higher self.  But I also know that in all of that, this extension of consciousness, that I am reaching something more….something else.  It is the thing that granted me my individuality.  it is funny because if I told you how I experience it, I don’t think you would believe me.  It lies utterly silent, but aware within the core of everything.  I can feel what it feels as the interior of all things and I can also see it on the FACE of everything through the sentient universe.  But to get there I find that I have to use my imagination.  I think that most people think that when they are using their imagination that what they come up with is a fabrication….a creation….itself only real for the creator. What I have found is that what we call the imagination is like a path that we only go down but so deep with.  It goes deeper, though, and will birth phenomenon while the higher self becomes engaged.  It becomes like a way for information to be projected from the so-called higher self to the so-called lower self and also as a way to create, to birth what has been waiting in the wings.

All of this is what interest me, teaching me about the nature of creativity, the dance of opposites, tantra as a creative and healing art, and the nature of time, as well as our relationship to higher order consciousness.  reaching the zero point, what the zen monks call “zero” is also a big part of all of this.  In fact, you  could say it underpins all of this.  It is what I write about over and over and over…..which is a return tot his zero, something that I have engaged passionately in since awakening took place.  In fact, it is this one thing that has been the core of my work all this time.

If you had something in your brain that made you think you saw enemies when they were actually your friends, would you be concerned and go to the doctor to see if there was a way to fix it? That sounds pretty troublesome, right?  Well, in fact, we are all afflicted with this tendency. We see others as for or against us in ways that wind up being off the mark.  I have had this happen in my life several times since the rising of kundalini.  Some had been in place years before.  I have been able to observe in others as well as myself how these lenses blind us completely or partially.  In either case, the result is chaos and pain.  Who needs that, right?  What is it that has made us so messed up that we would cleave to that even as something inside of us says “boy this sure is crazy.”  As if we are possessed.  Except, there we are, making the choice ourselves.  Why?  When you turn from something as perfect as this love that the divine is, it can make a person mad.  Plus we are a kind of crazy crowd, us humans.  Crazy and beautiful all at once. What a trip, right?

Until we heal these rifts in us, we will think we see outside of us what is actually inside of us.  We will see as one person saw, nothing but enemies.  Another person saw reasons to be fearful.  I saw threats to my ability to love and I responded over and over and over by pulling away.  Suspended, not fully present, I learned to protect my own soul castle by not fully engaging.  This sense of being “out there” was certainly part of who I am.  I am so Pisces (believe it…I said it…), but this lovely ability to flow in the etheric realm has also meant that I have a means to escape. I have sought to do so in healthy pursuits for the most part, but I can admit that it meant in some cases that I would pull back from the stings and arrows others have shot my way in the hopes that I might never feel the sting of such hurt again.  Sometimes I think that I am to learn to take every single arrow with bravery and realize not a one can hurt me.  None.  So shoot me.  Kill me.  Hang me.  It has been done a thousand times anyway on this planet, so why am I so concerned about someone who is just being a little human?  THAT becomes the corpus of my own “stuff” which I must heal.  Until then, being able to see into the divine realm will be limited.  I might be able to lay down at night or in quiet moments, yes, but I wont be able to feel it in the moment when someone is cutting me off in traffic or someone is yelling at me because, well, they are in some way hurting.  Until we can be unmoved by the suffering as others as THEIRS we continually seek to grab onto others’ stories to somehow make them our own through a host of suppositions based less on what is true as it is how we are deep down.

The writer Anais Nin said that we see the world as we are, not as it is.  And it is so true.  But we CAN see the world AS IT IS by removing these lenses, these old beliefs, what the easterners call illusions, but what I like to call creations (we created them, we can create something different and new).  As I am able to remove this material, it has resulted in being able to see more clearly.  Truly.

For me, the way this has all gone is most of my issues lies in my ability to create.  As a result, a LOT of material that has been stuck has been stuck in a place between root and sacral.  It literally feels in my body as a sore womb is slowly being chipped away at and released from its prison.  It means also that my masculine character goes through changes as this happens as the feminine character in my awareness also goes through some changes.  How I feel, how I respond, all change incrementally as incremental things are healed.

Right now the project feels more like dredging an ancient canal.  the methods I have used to release this material have been wide ranging.  I write about them in my book which I am hoping to submit for publishing in the next year.  The “methods” if you want to call them that, include a broad range that turn out being the same things that the ancients have used for centuries, but it also includes some new ones. Until this is done the energy field of a person remains susceptible to the very forces that mirror the junk that has yet to be removed.  It is not uncommon, then, for most people to have energetic entities attached to them in one way or another.  These range from small inconsequential to much more human like and very likely form the stories of vampires and succubi/incubi.  Early in my awakening I dealt with removing these beings, but no more.  My work deals with getting myself right first.  Everyone actually has the means to rid themselves of these forces when they are ready.  And not everyone is ready.  Following ones readiness is also a great way to bring healing in a more perfect way.  In this way, we can be the doctors to our souls. We really do know best deeper down.  It might not seem that way sometimes, but there is intelligence that we are each a part of that is way beyond anything you could imagine or believe.  But it is the core of what each of us is.  Beyond time.  Beyond belief.  🙂

This isn’t about changing how you think or changing your habits.  Yes, you can bring change into your life this way, but what I am pointing to is an alchemy of the soul that results in instantaneous change.  It is a way where we can actually throw off massive amounts of junk in a relatively short period of time.  It is what modern psychotherapy has largely missed (with the exception of a few notable examples).   By doing this we can each reach this seemingly elusive “zero” point that so many seek, including me.

This is not about being cool and hip, doing yoga and all the newest methods.  It isn’t even about having a fit body or a nice house or anything else.  You can build your life with all of these things around you, but until you fix what is at the core of you that is off, the rest will always be problematic in one way or another.  The great job will bring you angst….the fancy car will be in the shop more often than it needs to be.  Something you thought was awesome winds up being riddled with problems.   That lovely house wont make you happy because you are not happy.  In seeking happiness in things, we each have forgotten the core of what happiness is about. It is not in another person, or in a different life.  It exists right here with you and it is waiting for you to LIVE it.  Like me, it is waiting for me.  I am seeking to grab hold of it as I can, as I can manifest it.  This is the love that waits for you, me, and everyone else.  It is waiting for each of us to learn of its existence.  Until we can feel this love in our own selves, we will each be a near-miss in our lives.  It is a self love that we allow ourselves.  When we ALLOW it for ourselves, we can allow it IN our lives with others.  Its really pretty cool and awesome.  So let’s get to it, shall we?

What is waiting for you?  Here’s hoping that you find your bliss and the greatest love there is!

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If you have had mental health issues in the past related to depression, anxiety, or trauma regardless of whether it is from childhood or is more recent, seeking to awaken kundalini is not the smartest thing that you could contemplate doing. Seeking to knowingly awaken kundalini before doing inner work to help resolve old conflicts from within can lead to problems later on. Spontaneous awakenings may well be the result of many smaller clearings over a period of time, but actively seeking kundalini without a practice to support it I think is crazy. It is crazy because if your own psyche is under a lot of conflict and strain as it is, what do you think that an awakening will do?

I have said before here and in other places that the term kundalini psychosis is not some mental disease, but is rather a person’s response to the flow of life force in one’s being. Some people can let go and allow it to play through while others may respond in fear. Some do a little bit of both. But this psychosis is firmly planted in our ability or lack thereof of surrendering to this force within. It isn’t that kundalini is dangerous, it is that having a self that is less than healthy and ready for “the ride” IS a danger to itself. It is not pretty watching people express multiple personality disorder, fits of anxiety, delusion and psychotic episodes. Really! I don’t ever speak about this aspect of the experience, always seeking instead to explain that it is very much HOW you look at it. And it is. Part of this is in how you, right now, are ready for such a life changing process to unwind in you. If I had done kundalini yoga, I would have worked more on my own inner life prior to awakening if I had a chance.

That said, the first year saw the removal of more psychic material in that time than had happened in my life up to that point. This is just how powerful this force is. No guru, no therapist, no one to except this abiding force doing the work. Except for a few rather memorable events with a therapist which involved an energy “reset” and a guided journey into the self using visualization to help plumb and release old stored material, the force of awakening has largely been the responsible force for the work done thus far. But by understanding the sheer weight of dross we all carry, all of this comes up in awakening. Think of what happens when you stir a pond that has been still for years. What happens? Muck is stirred up. You must have a very good grip on yourself to not become reactive and wind up hurting others around you. Again, a practice would help in cases like this. Think of how often we are not honest with who and what we are with ourselves, with our families and friends. I wound up redoing all of this and it was not easy with people who were caught in the trap of the dysfunction. It is like a circular argument: how do you exit the dysfunction when you and the Other are caught in it and are reinforcing each other? Round and round it goes. And then, you simply step off the merry go round and swear not to go back on it again. I have been there before. Until the material is released, problems can continue. Honesty with the self and others is huge here at a time when you may feel the most laid open and vulnerable.

So as kundalini becomes ever-more popular in yoga circles and the blogosphere, bear this in mind. Being prepared is the first step, not the last. Sweep the path clean so when you roll over that path, it is smoother. We all owe it to ourselves. There is nothing like it, and because of this, treat it with respect and care; once you turn it on, it is most often on from now on!

7fb6b5d780adc694b4946978ea101bfbTwo currents reside in your awareness, your body, and the universe.  We call them yin and yang, Shakti and her Shiva.  This is so because when we let go and allow them to be in us, it results in bliss.  To do that means letting both sides flow.  Restrict one, you effect both.

So let me suggest very certainly to you that we humans do not realize just how much we have choked off the yin side, the feminine in us.  For centuries.  This has had a big impact on us, but like frogs which boiled in water, the effect was gradual and we just never noticed it. We do not notice it even now.  We just don’t know how things are changed by having more of the subtler and more fluid flow of the yin in us.  But when you do this, when you let this side flow in you, it has huge effects for you.  The feminine current in your flows up one side of your body, the left and then flips when it reaches your brain or crown.  This sends the current of the feminine flow into your right brain.  Learning about HOW the right brain feels is knowing this flow. the right brain is not the linear processor that the left is.  It is not limited.  It can take in VAST amounts of things and details.  Research into brain function has shown that when people have left brain functioning impaired, they experience mystical states, develop incredible visual memory and can do incredible calculations that are on par with “Idiot Savants” (and is a term I find distasteful).  It seems the left brain serves as a controlling filter for the right which has no such limits. And isn’t this so very feminine?  I mean, who else is able to take a spark and turn it into a world, a baby, in nine months?  Amazing when you think about it.  Well, in a very similar way, a conceptual and feeling way, the feminine or yin in you can achieve similar results.  To do this, though, you HAVE to let her flow. Balancing the flow can lead to orgasmic energy within you.  This is a very good thing because of how healing it is.

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Let yourself FEEL.  Don’t be afraid of your feelings.  Many people try to control their feelings for fear that they wont be able to keep a grip on themselves.  I say let yourself go.  Let yourself go some, and let the carpet unroll.  Sure, in the beginning things might feel chaotic, but a curious things happens when you give yourself the freedom to feel; you return to a kind of point of stasis.  For everyone this point is different.  After years of living a controlled rigid emotional life in some respects, you might need some significant unrolling. So let it go.  Eventually, once the rougher energy is worked out of you, a more peaceful land will emerge.  And the plus is you will most likely have learned how important it is to cultivate a more balanced self that includes this other side you have been ignoring.  The great thing is it can actually lead you when you are uncertain of where this will all end up. Really!  But allow yourself to flow.  Allow yourself to not always have the answers.  Allow yourself to FEEL the answers.  Some answers are arrived at through non-rational means.  Give yourself the opportunity to feel this and do this and be this.  Your mind wont be thrown into disarray, and if it does initially, the ship is merely learning to right itself.  Trust your process, and welcome the divine feminine, the yin, the right brain, into your life.  Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is through non-rational means.  Some things are just that kind of a mystery. the left side wont ever be able to work that issue out in any meaningful way because of how it is built.

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So instead of thinking it, you will FEEL it. It will tend to happen that you can do odd things like BREATHE in peace and contentment.  The left brain says “WHAT???”  but the right brain smiles knowingly.  “But of course, that makes purrrfect sense!” she says.  And it does.  No way you could ever really breathe in the universe through your nose and yet, it happens because with the feminine, these things are commonplace. Letting HER show you the magic way is one really great way to expand and potentiate your consciousness whether you are a man or woman.  As a man, just being near this kind of spiritual fire is real nice.  What will YOU discover with this world within your reach?

0a63b-tantra_yabyumI have been an ardent seeker my whole life, but my seeking was singular in the sense that I always felt that whatever truths might exist for me to discover would be somehow found within.  I was not always like this, for when I first felt that deep urging within me, I was all of nine and knew that something, some great secret, had somehow been hidden away from me, and from all of us.  I did not know then that this secret was hidden away within each and every one of us, and so I sought to find the answer outside, in the things which were hidden or taboo.  My reasoning was that if there had been something indeed hidden, it would be likely hidden in those places where we had placed taboos on their access somehow so that no one would bother go looking.  This seemed most plausible.  By age thirteen, though, I began to sense that somehow this was not without but within.  It began with an intuition about how we sense reality and the role of the individual in sensing this reality. It expressed itself as the world not being quite what it appeared to be and fueled an almost conspiratorial sense that things were not quite the way we thought they were.  In very short order I would read a book that would speak many of these core intuitions back to me.  It was a book by Jane Roberts and her trance personality Seth who proclaimed that we create our own reality and that our sensing of reality is itself very personal, individual, and while we each see the same tree and sky, we also choose to see it a certain way.  It is this choosing that would become the basis for the undoing of so much inside of me when I experienced awakening many years later.  I did not know then that our own inner biases about HOW we though the world was would play so heavily in what I would eventually come to face.

I have, perhaps, as a result of my own journey and predilection for seeking within, have always sought the source of things and not just how they seemed to appear either directly or through the lens of our own bias, our own karma.  Bias is easy enough to overcome, but karma is harder.  Karma, though, I have learned, can be completely undone and is the greatest liberator of all, for its bias lies deeper yet within us and moves without our awareness always.  By bringing the force of awakening to the fore, it was enough to also bear awareness in greater degrees.   Surely energy is consciousness and consciousness is awareness just as awakening has shown these years.  It is also curious that we do not simply do what we wish to do, but to do what we are, what we are in our larger context, which itself is not always glimpsed in the day to day but in those often rare moments when we feel an acceleration of consciousness and begin to see things in a larger context, an undeniable one, and the self begins to turn within itself so that it sees things from a different perspective, often a more honest one.  If yoga is about union, then what is the purpose of all of the positions and methods and poses?  Its a highly developed system, and so if union is the goal, then what is it that yoga does on a physical level to feed into us a sense or feeling of union?  And what is union?  That may sound like a too-simple question to ask, but it is what I know is a question that has all kinds of realizations that go unnoticed by many for the very fact that if yoga worked so well, we would all be experiencing a deep abiding sense of union. True union resolves us back into our authentic selves, beyond karma, beyond bias, beyond what we have adopted based on a fear of how we think we should be or ought to be.  If there is a false self, then it is this self.  Otherwise, all that we choose to be is the gift we have received from the Creator which is that of freewill.  Saying something is false is like saying we are not being honest with ourselves, and if that is the meaning, then it is true.  So much of awakening is about unwinding the great cosmic spring of our vitality to find that the spring was wound the wrong way.  The current of energy reverses, the world changes, we follow a new path which others do not always understand, appreciate, or value.  Much of what we do, then, becomes a silent prayer, a silent process that is true to no other but our own selves.  The self re-learns, remakes, is destroyed to be rebuilt again, but built in a manner that is more honest, true, and satisfying.

The essence of union is the removal of all that divides you from this one thing that your consciousness rides upon, is carried by, and is a part of.  Through an awareness of self, of ego, through the left brain operations of object and self, we create an appearance of separation that only exists as a kind of conceptual construct.  But like all constructs, once erected in our consciousness, it begins to work like all constructions work; unaided and with fidelity to the rules under which it was installed with in the first place.  Beliefs are this way and if you have any question about the power of belief, all you need to do is look at how a country can move its populace to war under the slimmest and weakest of pretenses.  It is all a carefully understood process that involves the left brain and ego.  It is amazingly simple to do and it is done very well by those with an understanding of it whether conscious or not.  These things are the manipulation and creation of belief and it is ego that identifies with them and will hold onto them for the simple truth that ego is installed centrally in most people rather than peripherally.  This is why upon awakening and the movement of ego away from the central font of awareness that those thus awakened are much harder to manipulate in this way.  The old process no longer works quite as effectively.  It still works to the degree that ego rests near the center of the self, but less as ego moves to the back of the bus.  When you go through awakening the sheer force of the energy now moving in your awareness shifts and changes these beliefs and positions…..and even then, it can be a mighty struggle for some to undo the programming.  For me, I unknowingly struggled with this shift in me for many months until ego was gradually shifted to the side of my awareness so that it did not act as controlling agent in my consciousness as it had previously.  It was then that greater union was possible for the simple reason that more had been moved out of the way to allow greater flows of energy to move in me.  Simple.

But this was all done without yoga as one commonly thinks of it, and yet, all that I have done has been a constant process of it.  Every day I sought union within, quietly, silently, feeling into those places that served up a sense of resistance and letting kundalini wash away the resistance.  I will say that I did do Qi Gung as a moving method for helping to assist in removing blocks.  While we may want to think of awakening or kundalini as some exotic energy that is entirely nonphysical, it is not  It makes up everything here and is wed to the physical just as it is wed to the spiritual.  So what we do in the physical can create an effect on it just as how our thinking and feeling can have an effect upon it as well.  It is not one or the other, but both. the body is the soul IN FLESH.  Both sides of the coin benefit from the presence of life force, of prana moving through them and is the result of sound integration of it within both.  So while I know that physical disciplines can work if you know what they seek to achieve, and sometimes even when you do not, some of the methods are there to guide you to a way of feeling.  Kundalini is always here with us.  What makes the difference in feeling it is our awareness.  So how does a posture help with awareness?

As I have said, I do not do yoga, not as one would normally think of it, and yet if the core of yoga is to be known or understood, my life has been the very essence of it.  I am aware, however, of lives spent in the East.  I know that I have spent many lives in silent meditation.  All of it has helped in what is happening in this life I am sure.  But I am more than a Tibetan in Lhasa or in Angor Watt.  I have sat atop mountains in California’s Yosemite Valley and watched as the Thunder Beings moved very quickly towards me, beings that spoke of a day in the future when the earth would be going through changes, a time when the “Great Wheel comes full turn.”  It was in experiences such as these that I was shown that I and the Thunder Beings were in truth one and the same, that my higher self WAS that self and that through accelerations of consciousness (which some called “altered states” which is a term I do not like for how misleading it is), our own consciousness expands to become aware of larger dimensions of itself and of reality.  It is curious and telling that I have no other recollections from the past that served to bear such incredible flows of energy, of consciousness, into my awareness as simply sitting atop a mountain crying for a vision as that experience with the Beings in the storm did.  For me, it is a lesson to my own self here and now that by simply removing that which divides us, we may inherit our birthright, or realize it in the moment.  It waits for each of us as surely as the dawn.

All of this has led me to the inescapable conclusion of how consciousness works and how we have access to still larger realms of awareness, which is a recall of what we truly are in all of our potential.  These experiences, for me, help to form a core teaching or reminder of what we are and that as humans, we contain a lot of material that serves to block our view of this world waiting to happen to us through an act as simple as becoming aware.

In my life I have observed the function of two sides to our awareness and both of these have corresponded to the left and right hemispheres of our brain.  One side of us is incredibly restricted in what it can do and how it processes information, but it is a necessary agent in our lives.  This part of us is the left brain operation and the brain itself mirrors a certain part our own consciousness.  This part of us is necessary for being able to get anything done that is sequential in the world.  Without it, we would not know what comes next, or how to put a clock back together, make logical and sequential rationalizations.   The other side could not be more different because it sees wholes instead of parts.  It has the capacity to ponder the infinite and does.  It is not so restricted as the left but it also does not have all the answers either.  It might be able to glimpse incredible realms but it wont know how they work exactly.  That is the plodding job of the left brain.  And yet, these two worlds can be made to converge, in UNION with one another, to create a cooperative sense of realization.

When union, these two sides of us can serve to create a new synthesis.  Their union is the essence of creation.  You see it everywhere you look where opposites, attracted, merge and there is an explosion of energy.  Always.  Sometimes the explosion is destructive, sometimes we consider it creative.  And yet, when the two currents of consciousness within us merge we call it inspiration.  We see the world anew, we break ourselves out of our old conceptualizations in order to consider something different.  This merging is in no way within the box at least for that brief moment when the incandescent energy of union happens, the kind of orgasm of the mind which is the same orgasmic energy we feel when we awaken, something that is the result of UNION.  It is the same when a woman and a man make love. It is so with all forms of union whether conceptual or physically literal.  This union can happen within the self,  within couples, groups, and even institutions, all in accord to how they are made to move energy. While the union of sex may feel different from the union of the self, a similar kind of energy is created and is nonetheless just as liberating.  Energy is energy and it takes on different effects as it moves through the different wheels of our own energetic realization, which we have come to call chakras.  Even the chakras, themselves, are “lobed” to carry both masculine and feminine energies, the yin and yang.

Why My Yoga Does not Bear Kriyas

It is interesting to me that it is mentioned that those who awaken experience something called kriyas, a kind of involuntary movement in the body which is a physical feature of assisting with the flow of energy through it.  While I have experienced some of these, I have not experienced them a lot.  I have thought about this and it has occurred to me that the reason why these jerking motions have not happened so much is because my own consciousness has been focused on moving this energy within it in less physical ways.  I am aware because of my work in art that there is a subtle flow of energy and an interaction between left and right brain in order to bring about what we call inspiration. The energy is moving through less physical channels and is being assisted through the self and the neurophysiology.  I am not here to say it is preferred because I know that there is no one way to go about this, but only to point out that this is one tool that can exist in your toolbox for how to assist in e greater flow of energy through you.  Certainly, physical movement helps.  Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be Qi Gung or yoga.  Just MOVING the body helps  A nice walk, a run, or even just moving your arms around so the core of your body is not so rigid is very freeing to energy.  Because so much energy is taken up in what I’d call more dream experiences, not literal dreaming, but in subtle accelerations of consciousness, I tend not to experience so many of these jerking movements.

At a certain point, which I identify with the period of time in which the ego was moved to the side of my awareness more (to the back of the bus as I often say), I began to experience these very quiet and expansive states of awareness in which thought itself was entirely stilled.  Over time, this stillness of thought has become more of a feature of my makeup.  It isn’t that I can’t think, I do, but that there is simply less chatter and more….observation….of everything.  This was first introduced to me many years ago while I was driving late at night and saw in my inner vision a presence that was practicing this “quiet presence of mind” as he looked back at me.  I found at the time that I could not practice this same quietness of mind and found the encounter to be interesting but also beyond my ability.  In truth, I think it was within my capacity, I was simply not living a life that was conducive to that sort of thing.  But I am glad that the presence who came did at least introduce it to me.  Only later did I see the same face on the back cover of a book on Japanese Zen and in that same book the person describes the same emptiness of mind and quieting of thoughts.  it seems it is a pretty universal experience.  What I think I was afraid of was that it would empty me, that I might lose something of myself at the time that this happened. We seem to fear obliteration, and for as much as some monks and yogis seek to do just that, the self continues to be. And not just be, but it evolves as we ourselves are aware of still “higher” states of awareness where there is another identity much like our own here now, but more advanced….perhaps more refined.  The sense of self and ego is an important part of what we have created for ourselves here. However, learning to move some of it into a more harmonious position is itself  what has aided in helping with still deeper ranges of union within the self and with others.

Everything Can Be Yoga

For me, everything has become yoga, but it is not itself a physical exercise.  I do not sit on a mat, but rather I observe quietly and intently as my hands move together to wash dishes, or to make tea, or to rake leaves.  My yoga creates a space of presence that is not mental only but is like a presence that opens up the cover to a deep well where my soul enters into the moment so that small self and larger self merge and experience union within, which brings bliss.  As I give myself over, I realize that this feeling of yoga, or union, is like giving myself to a lover.  I feel the yin current in my consciousness open unabashed to show me how to open to the universe of me and the All by simply surrendering so that world womb may touch soul womb so that my yin womb may feel all of this in ladder-like fashion as heaven descends into me.  This is, you see, the secret of Heiros Gamos, the union of the two currents in us, in consciousness, in our bodies, and in the universe.  It is all of this, undivided, and yet our own consciousness, by not being in union, chops up the thread or current so it SEEMS to be separate.  When I give myself over to it, all thought stops and feeling begins.  This is why I find the words of so many teachers who speak of feeling as being the enemy.  What do these poor minds know?  The way to the All is through feeling!  And yet, unless you yourself have experienced this enough to know it well, you might be tempted to believe these very authoritarian people who have entirely missed the boat.  I suspect it is because they still are caught up in the thousands of years’ worth of paternalistic and left-brained functioning that has gripped our species for so long.  I hope that they themselves can feel this rich and delicious experience of the feminine side of their being without fear or queasiness and know that we are all like this….that you cannot experience the feminine as a male and not be able to know the All.  You can’t just feel it a little….but the more you feel the feminine, the more you can feel the ALL.  And it isn’t because the feminine brings the missing pieces, but because she has been hidden.  Its been buried under layers of denial and chauvinism for centuries, millenia.  When the yin side is opened, we feel it so strongly and identify it as kundalini because all of us, women and men, have become so used to the masculine awareness. The feminine current has nearly been lost on the planet.  And I am sorry for those women who are reading my words.  I know it might seem like I do not know the truth of your own experience AS female, but what I am writing about it the yin current, which has the capacity to bring the deeper range of the feminine experience into the world. Yes, women are here and yes they do experience a wide array of perspectives by simply being in flesh as female, but there is a vast amount of feminine awareness that simply does not exist just yet in the world.  It is like a woman holds a cup of water, which is her feminine nature and thinks that this is what she is, but what I have seen and felt is that she is a vast surging ocean, unlimited and wondrous.  If you reflect on the world and its ways, you will surely realize that this surging sea has never had any real place here because all of us, women and men alike, have been so shut down.  What matter does it make when I look at the world of women and see such vast seas churning silently and without awareness, within them?  They would all get mad at me to presume, as a MAN to say such a thing.  Truth is, we just are not aware of just how dumbed down we have become, or how limited we have been in our experience of the feminine.  And one more thing; I suspect that we have done all of this for the very reason that SHE feels so incredibly good.  Suckling at the breast without a fear in the world, feeling her depths in love, being carried away within her is pure ecstasy.  And loss of control.  Our world has been a model of control….rigid control that you don’t begin to appreciate until you feel this restless sea churning beneath you….churning beneath all of us.

So my yoga is tantra.  It is this moment by moment attempt, at least, of seeking union within.  It isn’t even about sex, but about larger archetypes and energies that we can learn from and evolve with, and how integrating this into ourselves actually changes the patterns IN OUR CELLS.  If we have lost our ancient knowledge of the feminine, then it is here in such a place that we can find it.  Silently, as I move my hands to the coffee pot, I feel the yin current move through me and I feel a stab of bliss that is like a petal opening deep within me that pushes all the petals behind it open.  It is like being taken, seduced by this warm presence that makes me realize that I can be opened entirely, taken apart entirely, loosened and cracked and given a means to flow more surely.  My own masculine is like the force that opens up ancient creek beds so that my own vital force may flow down into the sea and know itself as itself connected to still larger portions of itself.  This is my union, this is my yoga and none of it is done through any movement of the body but in a quiet realization that MUST happen here or else it cannot be realized in the physical.  And I wont say I have it all worked out, for just as a creek must join with larger portions of itself without any resistance, so too must I join larger portions of myself without similar resistance, and just as a creek learns to know it is a might river at other parts of itself, so too do I realize what I am in its larger context.  Ego is not always so agreeable, or the self so courageous.  It is like any discipline, a practice where I slowly but surely release the blockages in my own cellular and etheric memory so that I wipe the slate clean so that I might dream something anew.  Until those old programs are running, I am a prisoner in some fashion to them.

Last night I had a dream that helped to illustrate what I have known for years now, which is that it is possible to reset our inner programming and erase ancient patterns by connecting with those aspects of ourselves which do not have such patterning.  A life lived on another planet, seemingly foreign to us, could well have been lived in order to pick up an example of a template that could be used “later” by a self waking up.  Certainly our world does not have a lot of good examples for how to be enlightened.  Perhaps it can be reintroduced from somewhere else.  I am not sure that it can be found here on this planet since so much of our journey has been one of collective self loathing, manipulation, murder and mayhem.  By being able to culture a new template, we can learn how others have managed to do it and escape that very precarious position in evolution where technology begins to outstrip our own commons sense.  I think if you look around you can see the trap that our own technological advancement has brought.  And yet, we work hard to not let that impact us negatively.  Sometimes we give in and do silly things.  And yet, this is our story.  Maybe we will get our act together and grow a world that is just and compassionate and much more awake and aware of itself, its connection to all things, and how it is only existing within a small portion of its physical potential.

There is nothing more important to me than to do this, this type of yoga.  It is quiet and requires no teacher or guru, but it is true and makes me realize we all have this amazing resource at our fingertips.  It is what we seek, what we yearn for, what we hunger for and it is only as far from us as the beating of our own heart.  The authority does not exist outside of you, it is well within you and will work if you simply let it have a voice in your life.  Authority from the past may be in error; things change, we change, the world changes.  Not everything is as rock solid as we think.  Some have said what I did was not possible, to awaken as I did, and yet, thousands have awakened in just this “impossible” way.  So what voice do you listen to?  Clearly, the best voice is to listen to your own.  Have courage, it will lead you where you need to go. Indeed, it has led you to this place, reading this here and now.

What do you think it is telling you?

The term yoga means union. Awakening is union. If body movement assists this, then good.  What can you bring to a yoga practice that might help with the business of this union?  When awakening comes, it comes, and it did so for me as a result of resolving long standing issues in me that kept my energy tied in knots.  I let go the knots.  I let life be a mystery.  I really didn’t intend for it to go that way, but the universe conspired against me….which was really FOR me. I got the memo late and then realized none of this is on any kind of limited time line.  There are a LOT of people who are experiencing what I suppose is best described as spontaneous awakening or rising of kundalini.  I have my thoughts on this based on what came to me when I first awoke, a time when I did not know that this was even kundalini.  What I knew then from the source of this living energy was that this was something big that was going to grow.  I could feel the momentum back then.  Far from feeling alone, I was aware of the energy within the collective, within human awareness that was building in potential.  It wasn’t just me feeling a surge in me because when you awaken, you do not awaken to yourself, although this certainly is the case, you wake to a broader awareness, what some call nondual awareness.  The natural result is that it feels as though you are tied into a sea of energy on the planet, and the energy closest to our own experience is human consciousness (even though this too naturally connects to many other strands on the web of energetic awareness which is ultimately unlimited).  It felt as if some internet of my being sprung up.  I smiled when I thought of how close the internet and this network inside mirrored each other. I even came across someone who described it as the “inner-net”!  Perfect.  They get it.

So to aid you in yoga practice, I will say in innocence of yoga practice (I do not practice yoga….at least not yet) what it is that I have observed has been the main features and aspects of awakening for me.

Remove all that divides you.  Remove the resentments.  Let them go. These keep union at bay.  Sitting in the posture will do nothing if your light body is divided, and the path is not outside but inside.  Yes, body and mind go together, but THIS is more than just mind….it is supermind, superself, overself, and expands “beyond” the normal understanding and experience of the self as it is here on earth.  Let your feelings drop all of that old stuff, and what will come is relief.  Sweet relief.  Forgive. If you can.  What you cannot, hand over to a higher power and ask that IT heal it for you.  I will tell you that I did not buy into handing things over to a higher power, but I see how important that is now and have found some of the most difficult to heal issues healed by doing this very simple thing.  It requires that you be able to really hand it over like how you just sell a troubled asset just so it no longer….troubles you.  If you do so in grace, if you do so humbly, it can happen for you.

Surrender all that you can and become simple.  Do not be afraid if the temple of your being begins to topple.  If it does, it was not built on a perfect foundation. But don’t let yourself feel bad; this is entirely correctable.  Kundalini, when it comes, will love you so deeply and will, as it embraces you,  show you just where to lay those stones so your new temple will be perfect.  And it might just be that your temple becomes a simple hut.  Do not be surprised. It will be perfect, though, even if you were used to living a lavish life; this one will suit you much better even if it seems like it wont at first.  If you can trust the universe in this, the infinite wisdom it contains will bring you more surprises of a great nature than you could imagine.   But when you accept what it does for you, you will learn how perfect, how utterly perfect, the universe is in helping you get what is just right for you.  But to do this means laying aside ego some.

Let your pride go.  Let all of your positions, your anger, your investment in all that stuff go.  Do you have regrets about how your childhood went?  Ah, now there is some fertile ground just waiting to be plowed up and returned to productivity again.  Any feeling you have about how unfair the world has been to you is another place to begin. Yes, the world is unfair, it is what is.  But you will not know what is until you come to peace with all of that. When you do, you are able to supersede it, to move “above” it but while being more a part of it than you ever were before. I know that this may not make much sense, but it is a bit like learning how to animate your life, the world, in a whole new way.  It is a path to transformation.  Here, you literally can change the landscape around you, for the power of awakening is like this. So what do you want to do, seed the ground with regret or seed it with light?  Seed it while you are full instead of empty.  THAT is how you will change the world. To do this means getting it right in yourself, and when you do this, the law of attraction will see to it that the rest will follow.  You might not believe this, but when you awaken, you begin to occupy your life in a more present and energized fashion.  This increased awareness of presence has very definite effects on the events and people coming into your life.  You will see a more marked change at first as you resolve old issues, and things will change on a dime as you do.  Layer by layer, life will change as what you attract will also change based on where you are in awareness.  This is not just beliefs, but karmic issues which when resolved also result in a change in the landscape of your life.

It may seem like resolving karma is a big task, perhaps an elusive one, but it is not as difficult as you might think.  As you occupy your life in this new way with awakening, the threads will become increasingly clear to you.  You FEEL energy and karma carries its own thread-like energy which you can feel in various parts in your light body and even physical body. These resolve as blocks, and when you can release them by acknowledging them directly, they can be erased.  They can.  The idea that karma is some kind of punishment is a grave distortion of the truth.  There never WAS a punishment that we ourselves did not first exact on ourselves by removing ourselves from our divine nature.  THAT is the punishment and many have been putting this responsibility onto a deity ever since.  When you can face the truth in this simple way, you are so close to releasing mounds of material, you begin to wonder what you had been doing all these lifetimes.  Karma is a choice.  Getting into it was and getting out of it was. The way out is through forgiveness, and the most direct route is in forgiving yourself, not others.  There are reasons for this which I wont go into too deeply, but suffice it to say that if you think other people are responsible for how your life has gone, you are missing some important things that lie just beyond the next veil in your awareness.  I promise.  You wont fully realize this one until and unless you face the truth yourself enough times to begin to see the pattern.  No karma is ever resolved when you point to another as the reason.  YOU are the reason. Looking outside of yourself merely stalls the inevitable.

Just as the pulse of awakening moves through you and changes all of you, this same energy is suddenly circulating even more in the collective consciousness of humankind.  All who awaken awaken to the All.  You will see just what I mean by this.  And then you will perhaps realize that the path to real change is within. You can touch the entire world by touching the part of you that touches the infinite. This is why waking the infinite is so potent a way of being.  It is the authentic path that needs no methods or ways or techniques.  It is already here.  And it will come when you sit on a boat, or in a car, or while reading the newspaper.  It can come while you read this.  Or when you do yoga.  It will come the fastest when you simply realize or remember what it is that you are.  This involves letting down a veil in your awareness.  Doing this is an act of self love, one act among many, and is a series of acts that will deepen and inform your knowledge about just how deeply all of this goes.

Awakening is the energy of inspiration.  It is that moment of opening within you when you let in all that energy.  Awakening opens you just a little wider than normal so a much larger volume of this love can flow.  You have brushed up awakening whenever you feel the joy and even bliss of a great new discovery.  Awakening is like feeling this awareness or state remain and then build on itself.  This love, though, is not a feeling FOR something but is itself a force. You will feel it in your light body and physical body, as they are delicately intertwined.   We all yearn for this, all seek it.  Once it comes, seeking ends and becoming begins.  You will no longer feel normal.  You will no longer feel bored.  You will no longer feel ordinary.  Nor will life appear ordinary.  The dew will sparkle with magic, for you will now glimpse the magic that IS in all things, and this magic is what is in everything.  This magic is the very essence of  union and interconnectivity.  All life is built on this and it goes all the way down to the atomic level.  Hence, when you tap this in yourself, curious things can happen in life as though the energy in your cells are not communicating more clearly with the energy in the air surrounding you, the atoms in objects, in the local landscape.  This may seem or sound impossible or even crazy, yet there is truth in this and it is supported by the phenomenon that take place with those who are awake.  It is like a great secret, a mystery that once is discovered, remains a fresh mystery every moment.  There is no entire apprehension of this mystery but the delicious communing moment by moment with how it makes you feel. It is not the explosion of orgasm and release, but a steady building of orgasmic potential that now is no longer thrown away but is built every higher as the light body can handle more of it in its small frame.  Here, the energy centers are cleansed by the energy, and as you bid it come, it sweeps you and even moves ego if you let it.

The mind suddenly can go quiet in just such a place of being.  It is such a marvelous thing.  I could never do this before all of this started, and I certainly had a few interesting opportunities. My mind was a chatter with thoughts ordinarily.  But kundalini has stilled it for me.  A great silence can come when I do not need to be all a chatter with the world. I move from this chatter to utter silence and both have their place.  I simply am no longer a slave to the ramble-mind.  We just need this silence to witness the mystery which draws you into itself and reveals wonder.

Breath can help, but breath in the body is coincident with the intake of prana.  When you awaken you can bid it rise by bidding it.  No breathing necessary.  But until that day comes, breathing is a very good way to move energy.  And the breathing in one nostril and then the other?  Oh, yes.  This helps to stimulate an awareness of the two fields of energy that go to make up kundalini or awakening.  Shakti and Shiva.  Feminine and masculine inside of you.  Their presence will inform you of things in ways you may have never allowed yourself.  It can make you a better leader, a better lover and a more considered person.

Once the infinite wakes up inside, you will touch the infinite outside of you.  Awake to energy, all energy is everywhere.  Nonlocal, you have the cosmos literally at your fingertips.  I will admit that most of my time with it is spent in utter admiration of it instead of yoking it to some use.  But yoking it results in much better results than any other method for achieving what will bring you fulfillment.  Here, you can bid mountains to move.

You can change the world, but you must change yourself first.  Do that, and as you enter this field, the rest of us will come smiling, welcoming you like brilliant stars sparkling in the sky above you, as you enter this new life.

Awakening is union, and yoga is union.  This is yoga.  FEEL,  then you will inherit the kingdom.

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