Archives for the month of: December, 2019

Twelve years in and I have had enough water under the bridge to see how all the work I spent clearing away the dross has impacted my life.

I can say that for as challenging the early stages can be, sticking with it has its benefits. Awakening led me to an undeniable awareness that I had made many compromises in my earlier life that came back to bite me once I could no longer live the old way. Not living the old way simply no longer was tenable once awakening came. This wasn’t just caprice, a desire to be different, but was itself a fundamental return to a basic ground state that had become, to some degree, self-evident.

What was interesting to me as awakening got underway was that the mere presence of awakening in me was showing every sign of affecting those in my life who didn’t align to the presence of my own truth. I thought this curious effect was my imagination at first, but as awakening proceeded it was clear that as I released old karmic material, it served to unsettle others who did not fit this truth, what the Polynesians call “Pono” which means correct alignment.

I should explain that this was not merely the result of my behaving differently in front of others, but that there were deeper subconscious reactions taking place around me that were tied to my own inner work. I have described in previous posts how my then-spouse would go into emotional meltdowns as I privately released inner blockages in my own field of awareness, a reaction that I was able to see was causally tied to what I had been doing just the day before. I observed nine times in a row that this took place over a three month period, each resulting in her going into a temporal meltdown each time. These events continued beyond the nine, but I stopped counting after nine times because I felt I had already met the burden of proof for myself at that point.

This was the crazy world of my awakening, an awareness of this underlying truth of what we all are that began to emerge even though I was living in a toxic environment that favored slumber and dysfunction of those around me. To see how they sought to demonize it (awakening) and me, I saw graphically just how off they were. I was able to see how deception and dishonesty was raised in order to attempt to keep the old regime up and running. It was sad back then, and hard to take because I was the butt of these efforts at keeping the lid on a poisonous can of worms. This helped me to see how buried we can all be in beliefs that limit us all.

After a serious injury the same year that awakening came, I was unable to work and the economic debacle of 2008 the following year made clear that this was a major turning point in many ways for me. Like it or not, I was being put into an environment where my eyes would be opened more and more by having time to myself to reflect on my life. If you knew me pre-awakening, you knew someone who worked long hours trying to grow his business who had his head buried in the sand.

In a reading many years later, this time period was described as my being made into a sacrificial lamb. This characterization seemed odd at first, but as I reflected on what this reader had told me, it made a lot of sense in the end. This is what we ALL do when someone presents us with a view of truth we are not ready to face: we dismiss and sometimes even demonize it. We literally begin to project the falsehoods of our own inner deceits on others as if they belong to those people. It’s so strange how we do this, isn’t it?

I was to focus on awakening. I did. I was able to spend time on it alone. While things might have seemed dire to others, I had this feeling like everything was going to be alright. That was one of the most important time periods in my life. My time in the wilderness. I was able to see that the life I thought I had didn’t fully conform to reality. I was blinded by hope instead of illuminated by clear seeing. I spent easily a year free to reflect and absorb what was happening to me. I wish everyone could do this, just take off a year and meditate, commune with nature, and be with people of like mind.

Like clockwork, whenever something was needed, the universe provided. When I thought about finding work someone I didn’t know contacted me about a job that was perfect for me. I landed the job and it helped me to develop my teaching skills, an important step in the next phase of my work. But before that, I had been carefully cared for even though it didn’t seem that way to others. It allowed me an unprecedented gaze into the mysteries of this phenomenon and how it was slowly but surely taking me apart and putting me back together again.

I learned that those to whom I was connected were not really able to see me for who I was despite the innextricable deep soul ties that we had. I saw that what probibited this clear knowing was always their own inner baggage. I myself also had my own baggage, and awakening, while clearing me of it, did not clear all of it in one magical twinkling, but was instead a process. Storms of energy would sweep through, and each time less and less remained. More peace took its place each time, but this was gradual. It was fast by any other standard, but still it was a process. I wa able to see how someone so close to me could know so little while inserting so much into the narrative that didn’t belong.

I learned that when people aren’t ready to face truth, they will project. It does no good to point out the truth. People are only ready when they are ready. The mere presence of connection does not mean that there is a purpose or destiny in it, only that there is something in me that is not fully resolved at a karmic level, and that these karmic entanglements are at the heart of the soul connection phenomenon…the twin flame or whatever your term dejour is for it.

In one case for me, a connection was forced. You might think there is no way this could happen, but it absolutely did. It was true that I had known this person before this forced coupling took place and I had no underlying fascination with this person previous to this event. How this went down showed me that a soul connection is not destiny but in fact can be manufactured when the right ingredients are present. It is made all the stronger bye preponderance of karma that cane passed to the other person in this entangling of twinning process. While others get lost in the foreverness of these connections, I saw that it instead was simply a mechanism for unlocking soul potential and that this had little to do with destiny at all. I know this throws cold water on the entire topic, but I can say if it happened to me, I am not merely an anomoly. In fact, I found an entire community of people who suspected that this phenomenon was not all as it seemed. They attributed the phenomenon to an outside agency or force that had less than perfect intentions. I don’t agree with their take on the phenomenon either, since I see as many holes in the argument as there are in other “twin” descriptions out there today. I think I fall into a middle way that states that the universe is neutral.

Entanglement (“twinning”) is a phenomenon that can occur when all the right set of requirements are met. The universe does not care if the ingredients are positive or negative, only that they be present. If so, an entanglement takes place. The ingredients that are used determine the intensity of the entanglement. The ingredients can be our own innability to see the truth and thus whatever that karma represents in specific feeds into the entanglement. The problem, though, is you can have a direct line to a person’s soul while the personality is itself extremely polarized from the higher self to the point where earthly self and higher self bear little resemblance to one another. This happened to me. My experience was with someone who resisted her transformation instead of embracing it to the degree that she could have. Still, awakening is difficult for all of us and we do what we can do. All of this opened my eyes to show me that even those who awaken can languish for years in the remaining karmic tangles they have set for themselves. I no longer needed to be their helper or savior. In fact, I was much better off alone instead of mtrinating in a desire to quell lonliness. I found that true love arises out of aloneness, in owning our solitary state while seeing how everythng is simultaneously wedded together even at the subatomic level. It is the higher levels in us that need the work, not the more fundamental ones.

By seeing how this person tried to blame her troubles on the world and me I got a clear view on the depth of inner deception we can build around ourselves, even as we awaken. I had in my own way done similar things a few years before, but now I was rushing the exits. I had a little more perspective by this time.

I had been, for my part, unsettled by a lot that went down during awakening, unsure that I’d ever get back to my business again. Clearly, awakening could not be bothered about what I wanted. I was going to take this time to slow down whether I liked it or not. This resulted in my reaching states where I could tap into streams of pure information that I was able to use to further my development. These states came as blissful epiphanies where it was like I was being attended to by a cosmic librarian who would show me to books that would teach me about a host of subjects I knew litle about. In some cases, this “librarian” would push me in certain directions. Sitting by a river on rocks, my mind flipped through the pages of a world of living information existing as energy and described by the Hindus as the akashic records. Edgar Cayce had said he used these to perform his readings. Curiously, they way he described how h achieved this was exactly how I found myself accessing them.

In one instance, I was shown how matter is created from energy. This helped me to see how two complimentary energies served to form physical reality. The bottom line, the lesson, was that the universe was not just alive, but that it was based in play and bliss. It showed that creation is a cooperative unifying event that happens inside of us along the line of the Ida and Pengal currents and that we can also create in groups a well as with a singular other.

I was shown the role that the three brains have in learning how to utilize awakening to its best effect. These brains, the light explained or showed me, were the reptile, mammal, and primate brain all present in us as beings on the planet. It explained that no part of this system could be ignored, and explained how best to use each part of the brain in order to realize the best process. Denying their presence was a disastrous way to go, it explained, and it showed how to balance thought and feeling across them in order to harness them in what could be a new synthesis of consciousness where there is less fragmentated behavior. All parts had to present. The brain had a way to mirror higher order consciousness by kowing how to use what gifts we were bestowed with.

I was shown in another epiphany moment how the energy body and the neurophysiology are in some ways mirrors of each other. I was shown the role that the “zero point” energetically has with the way that the brain and body are arranged in order to mirror a very similar principle in brain wiring or mapping.

I am pointing these things out in order to illustrate how fleshed out all of this information was and that all I needed to tap it was a deep open bliss state coupled with a focus or desire to know more even though I knew little on the topic. I mention this because you can do it also. This was what a psychic who did a reading on me described as my ability to speak from the master realm. If I can do it, you can too, but it requires an ability to keep your mind a total blank slate or else you will fill it with information that does not belong. You have to constantly feel as though you are empty and constantly grasping for the material. You always do this blindly, always unassuming but excited in the heart that soon, its life/information will fill you. There is no determining or chewing or digesting in process as far as trying to determine what it all means as it is coming, you just soak it up first, then roll it around in your head later. No expectation of any outcome. This got easier the more I could trust the process.

In retrospect, I wouldn’t have changed anything. For years I lost my creative groove. I lost confidence and then discovered how easy it is to do that when surrounding yourself with toxic people. I had been using my creativity as a way to gain approval. Yuck! It all crashed and burned and was ressurected to what it is today, which sems to be much healthier and much more stable and dependent on no one’s say-so. It was me handing my powe to another. Shame on me.

Now, over a decade later, I have recreated my lines of work in my business. I literally have all new work including the old standby’s. I am utilizing the internet for marketing, building community, and growing my business. This is a third incarnation of my business, first on a retail model, then wholesale, and now using the internet to do both. The thing is, it’s working. The steps are modest but each one is a step forward instead of backward. I have as many new designs created as designs that I had originally before all this happened.

Since October I have taught over 235 sessions to members in my community, held open studio events, and I am getting ready to migrate my site to a new server for greater speed and accuracy. I will begin growing my base on a national level in the new year. What feels different now is just how open and possible everything is. Step by step… While I sometimes worry about cash flow, there is a presence that tells me that everything is goung to be okay just as long as I stay out of my own way.

This past Spring I was given the gift of Ganesh, known as the remover of obstacles, a Hindu god that is the elephant-headed child of the union of Shakti and Shiva. It seems that many obstacles have been removed. It was a symbolic event spurring me to see that yes, there are fewer obstacles in the way. It feels exciting, like a new lease on life.

Being able to follow my instincts has led me to increasingly better and better places. By going it alone I have been able to also leave the old dysfunction behind, the very kind that served to limit. I know now that with a studied approach, anything is possible.

Recently I began having a flood of ideas for sculpural work dealing with nonduality as content. I have very much wanted to do sculptural work in this vein.

I realized that this new body would require a new special oven for making the work. While trying to upgrade a kiln in the studio, I was sent the wrong size elements. When things like this happen, it is usually a sign that something is up. It wasn’t a simple oversight, it was something more. While trying to work the problem, I realized that I had a kiln a friend had given me a number of years ago for helping her move it out of her parents house. At the time, I really had no use for it but thought I would store it. I forgot it was even there until this glitch happened. Turns out I have a fully functional kiln for large work. Perfect. I just had to stop going in the old direction to realize the new one waiting for me. Follow the flow.

In the midst of all of this, I have been educating myself through researching early Christianity for a book I promised myself I would begin working on in the new year. I announced recently to my customers that I would be closing down the studio for a few months in order to build new equipment, clean up the studio, and get started on this book. This book is about how Christianity may well have been changed by the power elites in the third to fourth centuries while attempting to wipe the existence of a private doctrine from history, an event they nearly succeeded in doing.

The thing is, I didn’t make this discovery because of my superior knowledge of Christology, but because I had an awakening. I have had to educate myself in order to get up to speed on what is known historically about Christianity in order to speak with any sort of authority about whtst will surely strike many people as a revolutionary take on the mission of Jesus as a Christ. It has been daunting.

Scholars study the content as well as the materials that make up the oldest known gospels. They also study how the words were formed on the page as providing insight into when a text was written, for example. A lot can be known from what exists. However, what I discovered was not something scholars have understood, which is how heretical texts present the single most sophisticated understanding of the “physiology”of spirituality to date and that it links them to a level of esoteic understanding that the Hindu’s have possessed for generations. And yet scholars see but do not always understand just what they are looking at.

I have been considering spending a month abroad in Europe doing the bulk of the writing just to get it done. No distractions, no one who knows me, and a lot of quiet. I love the idea of doing this, but I may hole up in my bedroom instead. I would love to visit family in Denmark and see friends in the U.K. I’ll see if the universe offers up an unexpected twist on that one.

In the meantime, I have a new interview I am transcribing from an audio recording I made from a family friend who experienced awakening exactly one decade before me (within a week of my own awakening) that will be put up soon. It is a pretty interesting account of two strangers meeting and awakening together.

In another post I will be passing along some very interesting developments in math and science in regards to nonduality and the nature of consciousness which you wont want to miss. That comes in a few days. I think it is pretty groundbreaking material. Until then….may the force be with you!☺

~Parker

If you have put your ear to U.S. media, it has been impossible to escape the nearly daily drama of all things Trump. The problem for me has been the shallowness of the coverage and the low quality of the discourse. It’s been this way on all sides.

One of the problems to my mind has been the blind side on the part of liberals to fully understand how it was that Trump won the campaign for President of the United States. What liberals have not been able to face is the reality of what put Trump in office to begin with. If you watch MSNBC you might believe it was because of the Russians, but you would be wrong. Despite the Mueller Report revealing that the troll farm believed to have been responsible for tipping the election had spent less than $50,000.00 on ads on Facebook during the election, most people haven’t bothered to look at this metric that the Establishment media heralds as proof positive that Russia meddled in our election.

To put this into perspective, Trump spent 9 billion dollars on internet ads for his campaign. $50,000.00 is a drop in the bucket, a laughable number, really, when speaking of influencing any election. Maybe it’s a good number for a local sheriff or the county Treasurer, but President? I say this as a lifelong liberal in case you thought I am an apologist for Trump. I’m not. I just want the truth regardless of where it takes me.

If you dig deeper, you will find that the claim of a Russian hack of the DNC server to be even more specious. This claim comes from the head of the DNC except that the FBI was never allowed to examine the server. The data which was then leaked to Wikileaks was described by Julian Assange as not coming from an agent of any government. When Bill Binney, once the head crypto expert for the NSA examined the email “hack” he saw that the data had not been transferred over a network, but had instead been transferred as a “FAT” file, which is how text is converted when being written to a CD, jump or thumb drive. This means that the “hack” was performed within the DNC and not over a network, as has been suggested by the DNC. Additionally, Binney and his associates who form a group of recently retired intelligence experts from CIA and NSA to act as an informal ombudsmen for all intelligence claims, found that the data transfer rate for the Wikileaks leak could not have been transferred over any internet network. The speeds were too fast.

Binney and his group tested transfer rates all across the world, including Russia, Ukraine, Europe, and the United States. The transfer rate for the data, which Binney points out is included in the Wikileaks metadata, shows time stamps consistent with time stamps from a computer to a thumb drive, not transfer rates over a network of any kind. You would think that this alone would be enough for mainstream media to change its narrative, but sadly no.

Part of the “Trump problem” is that Trump isn’t really the problem. He is a symptom of the problem.

Trump didn’t sell out American workers and industry, Bill Clinton did that with NAFTA. This act completely changed employment in the U.S. Gone were the high paying blue collar jobs in just a few decades. He exploded the prison population after gutting welfare. Trump didn’t lie usinto a war in Iraq and he didn’t bail out the banks leaving Americans with foreclosures and a health care bill that favored the insurance companies. Obama did that.

The hardest thing for any of us to do is to critically examine our own back yard. I include our chosen ” side” politically. If you don’t look at the corruption taking place within the Democratic party and its members, then the real problems will never get dealt with. Defensiveness will rule the day and you can park a ton of corruption under it because of how big it is.

What is lacking is a clear-eyed assessment of what went wrong. If all you think is Trump is what went wrong, you are unknowingly becoming part of the problem. To make matters worse, Dems could have impeached Trump on a broad array of issues two years ago, but chose not to. Instead we get theater and that is a giant distraction.

I think that Trump represents an elephant in the room, and this time the elephant isn’t a Republican, but is instead Democrats’ own inability to face their collective demons head-on. Yes Trump is bad, but there is something much bigger than Trump at the root of all of this.

To help illuminate this, Aaron Maté interviews his father, a noted psychologist and researchee and author to dig into what happened to Democrats who hadn’t voted for Trump and who have been able to be at peace ever since he got elected. The video is worth watching for its great insight offered by Gabor Maté. I think it will help all of us to understand what happened in the last Presidential election cycle.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uR07OtEhKPE

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