Archives for the month of: April, 2013

I know that as I grew from a child into adulthood that there were those brilliant flashes of insight that came without any rhyme or reason that would light up my life in such a way that they often proved pivotal moments that helped to accelerate thinking and becoming.  Once, when very small, I awoke from a dream in which I had been shown how to ride a bike.  I was all of five years of age and had not been urged to try and ride a two-wheeler.  It was just me and my tricycle.  I loved that thing.  I got it for Christmas.  But its sparkle was dimmed that morning when I went dashing out of the house, skipping breakfast as I ran yelling that I KNEW how to ride a bike.  I hopped on and off I went.  How  on earth could a kid of that age do such a thing?

What caused such experiences like these would remain a mystery in a sense.  Deeper into the knowing, though, I have come to realize that all of this, all of these experiences in my life were akin to pulling back a curtain on myself.  What it has revealed has been one wondrous gift after another.  None of them have been quite so sweet as the sense that we are composed of something more than what our rather stuffy left brains tell us is concensus reality.  We stay boxed into these world views that we are somehow limited when we aren’t.  The challenge is what our senses seem to be telling us.  Everything happens linearly, everything happens a certain way according to what it is we believe is true.  And yet, something glimmers beneath, like some great grey whale of an encounter just beneath the small slip of a boat that is our world view.

There is more.  I am more, you are more.  More than you could ever dream.  And yet, in touching dream, it is all there, waiting for you.

In awakening, all of this has been accelerated and I have been given view after view of things that have been wonderful gifts.  Taken down into the  incredibly small world of atoms and subatomic particles to be shown how the world is threaded with a single needle of purpose and brilliance, and that this needle has two sides which SEEMS to be the heart of duality, but really isn’t was nothing short of an epiphany encounter.  It awaits for the moment when each of us can begin to “get” that our own minds have been playing a trick on us and belief and conditioning has simply come along to codify it, to cast it into some concrete monolith that does not really suit it.  Or us.

Last summer, sitting quietly on my front porch looking up at the night sky I felt that familiar pull into that grey whale of an experience.  The curtain was pulled back for me to view and a voice that was not a voice spoke and showed me yet again how it is we are composed and revealed in sparkling clarity a mystery which has lain at the center of this talk of the dual current that moves up our bodies and fires off the flame of awakening; Shakti and Shiva, the yin and yang.  The dual serpents of kundalini.  In simple terms I was shown how the energy moves up through the body….less as a linear current and more as a presence.  But for simplicities sake, lets take the old school approach and say it was a current.  This presence within me showed how awakening is not just promised for each of us, but is actually insured by HOW we are actually designed neurologically, energetically, physically.  In that one moment, it was explained why the left brain controls the right and why right brain controls the left, and how this is significant for us in our evolutionary spiral.  I am not widely read, but I do pick up things here and there as I pick from the buffet of information out there and I have simply never come across anything quite like this.  Why not?  Perhaps somewhere, there is some dusty scroll that contains this information, and if it is mainstream, I have yet to hear of it.  But in understanding this insight into how the current of the TWO moves through us in a very specific way, a new world emerges where the very design of our being is turned on its head.  How can we be the broken beings so often mentioned in old books that seek to explain why life is so hard and trying?  We just never really understood what was at the root of all of this trial.  It wasn’t some angry god or fate or any of that, for this one simple insight that came last summer to me that erased all of that.  If what I saw or came into knowing is to be believed, the world is in fact entirely misunderstood by some of us and the realization emerges that we simply have been seeing it all wrong.  This insight is nothing short of a grand epiphany, and if it has not been spoken of before, it will help many to realize how it is that the energy of awakening can lead to the enlightened state.  Without dogma or myths or beliefs, but a very simple mirroring effect that is at once in the energetic template of our etheric being AND in the physical body as it also points or shows very clearly that reaching into the crown for the highest vibration is actually not some elusive thing, but a VERY physical thing and that it has been created entirely by design in each of us.  All of us.  Personally, I think such a realization is actually cause for celebration.  

This insight is one of many and I am not giving away the store because I have these and others like it teased out of the ether over the last seven years of my awakening experience in the form of a book I am working through that I hope to bring forth for what it is worth for those who like to chew on substantive material.  At least I think it is of substance, and someday soon, you will get to judge for yourself.  It isn’t that this post is about specific insights, but HOW such insight can literally change how we view the world and how we understand who and what we are within it.

The Hindus often speak of the abilities that come with awakening as those things that we ought not tarry around, but to keep our eyes fixed on the star of our greater becoming.  In a sense I agree, but you know, if we all did that in our lives, nothing of any substance would be brought forward.  Consider a gift that you have and consider having someone saying that you ought to ignore that ability or gift in favor of something more.  Perhaps, dear reader, all of this, all of life and everything in it is that something more and we, locked into rigid conceptualizations of HOW we think things need or should be,  miss the boat on the golden glints in the sands of our journey through this experience which could bring such fulfillment to all of us.  Think how the world would be had the great composers of music followed the promptings of the yogis of old and simply kept their discoveries and creations a secret.  What if Monet had simply chosen to set his brushes aside and instead just looked at those haystacks and ponds and smiled.  For him, perhaps an epiphany, but for the rest of us, a poverty. What if Carl Jung had simply chosen to keep his insights to himself?  What if Jesus had chosen to remain silent in the desert and kept to sawing wood and being filled with the Holy Mother of Spirit as she ducked and dove within the Father as he remained entirely mute?

When we choose to use our gifts for raising ourselves up selfishly, perhaps some tarnish comes to our souls.  Perhaps our own vision is diminished even as we seek to look far.  But what if, like children, we act upon our insights and choose to share our basket of goodies with the rest of our friends and thus make the world around us richer?  What if Edgar Cayce had chosen not to dream and speak in his dreaming?  And what if the great orator and mover of hearts, Martin Luther King, had chosen not to dream?

Dream. All of you.  Make them big and be daring.  Be full of possibility, and plunder the great wellspring that is your infinite self.  Do it shamelessly and often.  Be willing to just give it all away on a moment’s notice if you must.  The world needs more of you.  The world needs it like a thirsty man who has crawled through the desert needs water.  We thirst and hunger for it even as our reach may move beyond our grasp.  This has always been the way it has been.  And yet, we move forward, sometimes inching, sometimes bounding.  At a certain point we will find ourselves no longer struggling and crawling on hands and knees, but dancing ecstatically,  arms raised to sun and moon and to that compass that criss crosses the sky of our becoming.  It will always point both heavenward and earthward.  Inside and outside.  The moment we think it is “out there” is the moment we are moved to see what is within us.  It isn’t one or the other.

So dream big.  Pull back the curtain.  See all that you can see, and share your basket.  Do not fear your ability or gift, whatever it is.  You are one of us.  All of us.  And you need us as much as we need you, if only to remind us of that one important insight that could be yours and which will become ours and which could serve to move mountains in the most surprising of ways.  You really never  know.  So dance like you mean it.  Ecstatically.

The gift is what each of us is.  We are each reminding each of us what we are.  Some will seek shadow while some will seek light.  I suppose all of it will prove to be of some benefit in ways we can scarcely imagine.

So try to imagine.



Who knows the basic principles involved in bringing your life into full focus for effective manifesting of what will bring you fulfillment?  Who knows when these principles are put into place and when do they work?  Who knows the “cycle” of manifestation that actually tracks and moves an event from “inception” to full manifestation?  And who knows about the one key to bringing all of this to bear into your life in a way that is meaningful and effective?

I will give you a hint, but it wont be the kind of hint you would have ever expected.  It lies within both your psychology AND physiology.  Within the very atoms in your body, you have the ability to do things that some consider impossible.  The principles are simple, straightforward, and require a fundamental shift in your thinking, feeling, and being.  Can you achieve this?  It is up to you and you alone.  All of it is carried within your own cosmic vehicle.  The only thing that keeps you from tapping it in the way that you would like lies in your psyche.

This is one big reason for doing the “work” required to get yourself to a place where you can experience the fundamental shifts that can occur day to day and moment to moment.  The other clue or hint in all of this is that all of what lies ahead as challenges are all entirely self made.  Want to be a self made woman or man?  Well, here is your chance.

I am of course baiting you.  Normally, I do not use such catchy words and phrases, but in this case, each catch word or phrase is entirely on the mark, honest, and supported by direct experience in an environment that has shown over and over how you can unlock your potential and find greater fulfillment.  But to achieve this requires you to be different.  To feel different, to think different and to allow yourself the means to get out of your own way.

There are many ways to this goal.  There is not any one magical trick or technique because the truth is, like all techniques, they only work if you put belief behind them.  Do you remember the people who were healed by Jesus who exclaimed in amazement over the change that took place within themselves in a moment?  And do you remember what this man was said to have said?  he explained that it was their own faith, their belief, that healed them.  If you believe enough in it and if this method or belief system does not put up more roadblocks than it takes down, then you have a very good chance of it working. This is just how broad a thing this force is.  It literally underpins the movement of atoms and moves up through a little understood chain of effects or forces until it meets you squarely in the moment and place that YOU are in right now. As a result, this force may not always bring you lottery numbers, but will bring you the things that you most need for the NEXT STEP.  Without achieving those next steps, you wont ever get to the lottery or to the life your rational mind tells you is the one that you want.  And curiously, too, the moment you reach this place, it may also have the effect of erasing any concern for the old hopes that you had and MIGHT send you in a different yet much more fulfilling direction.  This is not to say that you WONT achieve your greatest dreams, only that in the process of making the changes to align you to your highest that some priorities may in fact change.  So be ready for that.  And be ready to be led.  By a higher power.  Your own inner power.  And this power links itself up in web-like fashion to the rest of the cosmos.  Truly.  And THAT dear readers, is a fine place to be!

THIS is what I am working on in my book, what one student said was the most critical to him when it comes to books about awakening:  keep the mumbo jumbo out and explain how all of this adheres to physical principles at work within the universe.  The miraculous itself will in some way adhere to physical laws in ways we may not entirely expect, see, or know. This is my task for my book Waking The Infinite.  It is my sincere hope to spell this out in ways that stray far from dogma, bias, and our need to sometimes mythologize a phenomenon that we truly don’t always understand completely.  And yet, from time to time, we do have those individual who can bring the information forward in an ever-increasingly clear way so that it can be understood not through dogma or belief only, but through other channels of being.  These other channels will often be the lost or forgotten parts of you that is the missing link in bringing you a life that is full of fulfillment…..whatever that looks like to you.

I will admit that I used the title to grab your attention.  When we think of the word tantra, it sound exotic, a spiritual way to feel sexy, or maybe a sensual form of spirituality.  Unfortunately, tantra I think is being utilized in a way that helps sell workshops on how to be a better lover, but maybe not always a better person.

I will keep this short and sweet.

Beneath what you feel is what has been overlooked.  What is overlooked is what it yet to be resolved.  What is not resolved turns in you and is your master.  Most people simply do not have the awareness of what lies deeply lodged in them.  Sometimes they need the awareness in others to point it out.  Sometimes we have seen it but ignore it or do not see it for what it is.  But as you do the work to surrender all of your junk, to die to what you were to be born to what you can be, your experience of energy will absolutely change.

It will be like layers of old clothes are taken from your body as you return naked but intensely alive.  What was removed was what you thought defined you.  And for a time, it did.  Your hates, your dislikes, your fears, your worries, your concerns, your hopes and dreams (often driven partly by some fears and worries!!) all come off of you and what remains?

You do.

So your experience of what you think tantra is will change dramatically.

I have discovered how sexual energy can actually be sublimated fear and rage.  Really?  Yes, really.  But its not easy to get to, but its always there if you look at it.  Look at HOW you feel with your sexual energy.  really be honest with yourself.  Do you ever feel an edge of fear?  DO you ever feel an edge of rage for some reason?  Do you tell yourself “Oh, that’s just my animal nature coming out,” or “It’s only natural to want to pull hair or rip off clothes….”  Look more deeply into this.  FEEL into it.  Do you feel yourself expanding or do you feel some part of you contracting?  Do you feel sexual energy as sexual tension that has to be released?  There is something deeper down.  We can get so drawn in by the draw, the yearning that this energy drives in us.  But the energy is not like some perfectly sacred thing that is perfect.  it is only as good as our insides.  We are like a lampshade that has any number of smudges and darkened regions that when cleared allow the light to shine through without any struggle to see or know it.  The sad thing to me is that tantra is so often sold as a sexual experience when in truth it is a path of liberation that only comes about when you are willing to remove all of the old lenses that have made it seem so raw and even hard sometimes.  At first tantra might lure us through lust, but it wins us through bliss.  Not just yearning, but a yearning that is like a river that flows into larger and larger tributaries and then opens out into a sea and then vast ocean.  It is hard to know sometimes where all of this will lead, but if you want to know where you are, observe your yearning and how it makes you feel.

It was once explained that tantric temples were themselves entirely empty and plain.  They might have had incredible depictions of sexual love on their outsides.  They might even have sensual sculptures as one enters.  The central areas, though, were plain and remarkably empty.  Perhaps that might serve as a clue to what lies ahead in this journey.

Part of the answer lies in death.  Death, you see, is the soul of surrender.  Implied in it is a form of surrender that is ultimate.  In dying, we give up all investment in what has come before in order to know what lies ahead.  By conquering our fear by simply allowing ourselves to allow what is inevitable to be, we die.  We die to what we conceived of or were.  And the truth is, we can die many many deaths in any day or week or year.  Most often, we cling to life over our fear of death.  When we embrace death, not actual physical death, but the soul of what death is, we are transformed.

In releasing the fear we have of our ultimate death you can also begin to free yourself from the fear of other forms of death, the ones that actually make the biggest difference in your life.  By learning to be fearless and to live in the present, you overcome death.  You do. It isn’t that you become immortal, it isn’t that you will continue to live in your body.  No.  Your body is designed to live a certain time and then return to the earth.  It serves you in the same way that a petal serves a flowering tree.  The petal will soon fall and become the earth even as the tree continues to live and grow ever larger.  Your soul is like this tree.  It lives on forever.  Countless lives, realities, worlds.  You may not see it or know it.  You may not have to, either.  That isn’t the answer.  Knowing about a past life isn’t as important as being able to surrender all that hung you up in that past life and that also hangs you up in this one.  As you remove these barriers to becoming, you also open new doors to perception, memory and awareness.  It is just that simple.  Your higher self knows the many lives you have lived, yes, for THAT is important to it.  What is important to you is that you get this one right.  In so doing, you do a service to all the selves that you are….that you have been and shall be, for even as you release fear of death, you also open up new possibilities in living.  You begin to realize that you are just one of many bodies, lives, experiences.  Suddenly the picture broadens because your perception also broadens.  Here, fear of death begins to wane.  We each cease the grasping to the material that held us and which kept us powerless through fear.

it is the same with tantra.  It is the same with a smile.  It is the same with food.  The same with music and a billion other things.  They all change.  You change.  It is marvelously simple and direct.  And the way to making this road smooth is to know that you are more than just this one self, or life.  As ego slips away, something more slips in. Your larger or expanded self has more and more room to simply be.  Before, it had been crowded out.  Now there is more room for it to express itself.

Then the old sexual draw becomes something lighter and more wondrous than ever before.  We are each here, knitting heaven and earth together.  When you can face death head-on, those countless deaths to what you thought were ideas and investments that were so important but now no longer matter, you touch the essence of this path.  It is not for the feint of heart, but we were all born with radiant hearts and souls.  So how about we let in that light?

It is true that when you awaken, you begin to feel things from the inside out.  Instead of a focus through the sense only, a rich world begins to emerge and it is the inside of things.  This can be very unsettling in the beginning.  Charged with the energy of kundalini, everything seems so charged with meaning.  Certainly, life takes on greater meaning in the face of greater awareness.  This is true.  It is also true, though, that ego will tend to want to put meaning on things that may not be entirely productive.

Yes, when you think of something, it has a way of happening.  Over and over and over…..countless incidents take place that show you that this is so.  There is a very different kind of order at work in all of this and the mind seeks to make sense of it.  Quite natural.  But as humans we have this tendency to want to insert something into a phenomenon that feels right to us but is actually based more on what we think is right than what actually is.  As a result, our understanding of a given phenomenon in awakening changes as we change.  It is pretty natural, expected, and kind of elementary. This is the same impulse that resulted in our believing the world was flat, that the earth was the center of the solar system, that we could not go faster than seventy miles an hour in a railroad carriage or else all the air would be sucked out (yes, this was a belief held back in the day).  We think how silly all of this is now, and yet, I ask you, what remains in our world views that are the product of this same kind of thinking when it comes to how we think the universe and reality work?  Maybe it seems silly or superfluous to say this, but when it comes to what happens in awakening, it becomes, at least in my experience, very important.  Quantum entanglement or particles, rising up through a chain of phenomenon resulting in the most peculiar things happening at larger scales….scales that the quantum physicists say does not or cannot happen.  And yet, when you step off into the weird world of awakening, this certainly happens and with great regularity.  So it begs the question.

Synchronicity is not well understood and these events come in gran scales during awakening.  We want to say it is the universe speaking to us, or God, or any number of things.  But were we to understand what is behind this phenomenon, it would pop the lid off of how we see and view the world.  And ourselves.  It would place our sense of magic back into the place where it belongs, for certainly synchronicity is part of a larger animal that I do feel we have been chasing for some time and have attributed it to “magic” simply because we have not understood it very well.  What I am saying is that what we call magic is a hitherto misunderstood phenomenon (and I do not speak of slight of hand or card tricks, no).  This is the kind of magic that reveals how a shaman who needs the flower from a plant that only flowers in spring can walk out in the dead of winter and find the plant s/he needs in that moment to help heal someone.  These are kind of unexplainable events, minor miracles, really, that reveal a side of the world that we mostly don’t understand. In understanding it, though, you begin to get a broader view of how the world CAN and DOES work….a world a good bit more different from the one we are used to thinking about.

We want to attach to our bliss to some deeper meaning simply because it seems so meaningful.  And yes, it is meaningful, but perhaps we have put too much onto it.  What if bliss was itself simply a state we were always meant to inhabit and that in so being, it becomes like the air we breath; it is what is…..there isn’t so much a mystery about it, does not mean anything world shattering but is simply the way we were originally designed to be and feel once we got in line with ourselves a little more.  Bliss may just be the inevitable result of letting go of so much pain and suffering in our being and choosing to do something else.

Those who awaken enter into this hyperversal kind of universe where things begin to act and behave differently.  Yes. My daughter asks me about awakening from time to time because she is curious as I suppose anyone might be,  and I do seek to explain it in as simple and straightforward terms as I can without coming to any definitive conclusions, only my current experience at the time.  I do this because someone once said “and you will do even greater things…” and I think this is good advice.  As I do explain, I also let events in my life unfold as they should and she sees evidence of these odd events all around me and so she is able to witness them as odd coincidences that stop being JUST coincidences.  The luck on this only goes so far before it begins being statistically important, you see, and in this way she is able to glimpse at least its outward effects in our day to day.  We are working and responding differently, or at least with a slightly different awareness which is making the difference.

This awareness also can drive strong currents of energy.  When I awoke I was aware that I could feel someone’s thoughts and feelings as if they were my own.  Even stranger, this was a person I had never met.  She lived in another country.  As my awakening unfolded, I began to believe that the universe had paired me with this person for some greater work or for some significant purpose.  I had eyes open enough to begin to see that all of this was not always happiness and rainbows, at least not what those who were saying about the phenomenon I was experiencing, which they called twin rays, twin souls, and soulmates.  If what they said was true, then things should have been of a higher order.  It was increasingly clear to me that we are all so very human while beginning to touch on the infinite within…and that unless or until we made the changes in our earthly selves, we would remain soaked or steeped in all of our old karmic accounts.  We would live lives that revealed an even greater fracture than before perhaps because now we at least knew there was something more.  Awakening is only as good as you make it.  It is not an escape out of being human, although many humans escape this world through it.

It took me a number of these soul connections before I would see and know just what this phenomenon was all about.  What we take for the bliss is still itself very much tied to karma.  We make the mistake sometimes that we are suddenly on the fast track to knowing when we awaken.  I say mistake because even as we are more enlightened in some ways, we still have the clothing of the past clinging to us and this material keeps us from seeing clearly or perceiving what is.

I wont say doing this is easy.  It is perhaps the hardest thing, and yet when things are hard or challenging, the greatest reward is often hiding in the wings, ready to emerge.  And so, beyond the forever of these deep connections lies a still deeper level of fulfillment that will I think radically change the very nature of our relationships here on this planet.  In many ways I sense that these relationships have the potential to become something that we have simply never experienced before and are thus a bit like speaking a dead language when we try to explain them.  So much gets lost in translation simply because we probably need to all get to this place so we can form new words, new ways of explaining or describing this new reality.  It is possible that it is a radical jump in our collective awareness and as a result may not be fully understood by anybody when someone DOES speak up and tries to explain it.

Until then, we will mistake the draw to these soul connections as though they mean something deep and important.  We will attach meanings that may not be suitable to them, and in the process we can run the risk of missing the boat on what is on offer here for us.  it is hard, though, to step out of our old conceptual boxes because those older boxes began to feel so comfortable.  Like any belief, we take up the standard of this new idea and make it our own even if it is not entirely on the mark.  This is one reason why I am not very big on tradition.  Tradition is great in some respects, but it also has been a wasteland for distortion and misunderstanding.  We gobble up what our ancestors deemed important without really looking at it or examining it. We seem to lose sight of the possibility that it is our responsibility to fashion our own traditions that are more up to date with who and what we are.  When quantum leaps occur, it has the tendency of putting is way out in left field and that can be a very lonely place.  We might even try to migrate back to those old familiar realities or boxes.

Until we reach deeper levels of surrender, for example, these connections will seem to be the cats pajamas, but once you have touched something new and different that vibrates at a whole new level of energy (emotional, mental, and spiritual) then it is hard to believe that those cats pajamas could ever be improved upon. But they can.  And they will.  To find it we merely dig up and root out what remains that keeps us tangled up.  Sometimes it means thinking big being fearless and seeking based on a deep inner compass which we each have.

When we do that, we will awaken anew to a higher order than what existed just a moment before.  It is entirely possible that we know less than what we do not know, which is to say the universe is a mighty big place and maybe we ought not prejudice ourselves by what we firmly feel is what we DO know.  All of that is subject to change….not  ideas or concepts but ways of being.  Because this all dwells in the collective awareness as well as the individual, we can actually affect a sea change by reaching these higher state in ourselves.  It will wind up being spread around even if no one awakened person ever spoke peep about their experience.  Through the collective it would simply spread.  In days, months or years… would eventually find the cracks in the facade and would work its way in.

When kundalini came, it got to work taking me apart.  Slowly, piecemeal, this all took place. At first, it was great.  I felt the presence of this intelligence moving in me, opening up blocks.  It was a partnership and it led to feelings of soaring, release, of being revived piece by piece.  Something would go and I’d feel something I had not felt since I was a small child….almost as if someone had been operating on my brain and pressed on that little part where some old memories were stored…or hidden….and out they would come and I’d think “wow, what was that?  How nice….”

Kundalini took a deeper turn, though, and what was lighter became more intense.  Incredibly intense. Like riding a roller coaster or feeling like I was on some steam engine.  The energy, it felt like to me, at least in retrospect, was ramping up for a new round of diving deeper to get at more stubborn stuff. Honestly, though, I do have to say that after working through so much at least thus far, the steam engine sensation strikes me as being more based in fear than anything else.  What once was something that was bearing down on me has become much lighter, more refined.  I wont say I am perfect, so, why, I am still quite human but….In the beginning it was easy, then it got hard.  The harder stuff seemed at times insurmountable.   Stuff maybe my ego identified a lot with which naturally made it more dug-in and more stubborn.  But bit by bit, layer by layer, the material has peeled away.  Each release has been remarkably different one from the next.  It seems that for each major block (and these are now feeling like major hurdles now being dissolved), a different approach was used or a different way was found by my higher self to help me with whatever was NEXT.

Very recently I had a sacral clearing that was nothing short of a godsend. You see, since kundalini, I have had this realization that there was so much I was doing in life that involved my gifts that I used for approval.  I found that I could not work in my old studio job as a result because it felt like I was using it to get approval I myself could not grant myself.  This was crushing to see.  I drifted from glass and I actually felt blocked.  I worked my way back into the creative arena right alongside kundalini and what it was doing to help overhaul my system and my past conditioning and karma.  When the clearing came I discovered this part of me that I thought had died and had been buried.  The truth is, I mourned it because I felt it was the one part of me that gave me real dynamic forward movement.  The curious thing about awakening is that doing things the old way goes by the wayside.  Its hard, too.  In art, there is a cult of ego and personality that many people rely on in order to build a life in the field.  I always felt the work should be the important thing, but in my case ego was doing a number on me with this whole approval thing.  Everything felt like it drifted into an uncertain place as I figured out who I was after having what could be termed a spiritual stroke.  Reordering me, I found I had to relearn some things in order to continue doing what I was doing.  I was beginning to create in a very different way and for very different reasons.  Good.  And yet, I felt like “so what?”

With the clearing, though, something was either returned or was allowed to no longer be blocked.  Even as I was becoming Unblocked I was laying on a block of my own.  This last clearing did away with that.  the result has been a sense of relief, of clarity (or greater clarity) and a forceful step in my stride.  I actually want to create and work and do all the things I did before but now I have a freedom I did not have before.  I hadn’t allowed myself.  Now, though, it seems as though something much bigger is on offer.  If this seemed daunting to me previously, it isn’t so now.  Confidence is beginning to ooze out of me.  And that is a very good thing.  I am finding I am aligning more with the things that make sense and that bring fulfillment.  It is really pretty easy.  When we let it be.

One thing is for sure; the cakra system is pretty right on.  Root, sacral, heart, throat, third eye, crown.  All of it adheres to different vibrations of energy and thus contain blocks that mirror that energy.  Clearing one center frees you up in ways hard to explain and harder to imagine.  But I am very thankful for it.  Sometimes just saying it could make it happen.  Just like that.  We do much to complicate things.

This is a call to you to not fear change.  To not run from your feelings but to face them head-on honestly and without fear.  the curious thing is that when we do that, the content of the fear changes.  And we change.  If there is to be any ascension, this is certainly it. When we cease living in fear, no matter how under the radar it flies, we tell the universe we are ready for something different….or returned.  This approach is amazingly cleansing and wonderful as it returns to you a part of yourself you may have felt you had lost.  It was never lost.  It is now being found.

A new chapter begins…

…it’s never enough.



Waking up, touched by the fire of the sun, the water of the moon, the bliss of creation, the breadth of life, the kiss of the divine.  It seems so lofty.  So grand.  And it is.  And just as this is glimpsed, the mighty hand of kundalini emerges at my door, shows me the way to the wood pile and the message is clear;  this is a gift what you see but each gift is earned.  Now that you know, now your work begins. Chop wood.

This is the most sacred of all work.  It is work without an effort.  It is a silly thing that we try to talk about because we struggle for years to remove the dross and when it goes, it is just so effortless.  It is taken off our bodies in the exact same way it was taken on.  All karma is like this.  You simply leave it behind.  You give up on it entirely.  You quit the game that has held you in its grip.  You get to work.  Forget the lofty world of what you saw and now tend to the journeywork of your soul.  You chop wood and haul water.  For your soul.  For your heart.  For all that you are and shall be.  All of it exists at once and you are now just coming to this realization.

You will learn that self love is the most important love.  Until then, you will secretly believe its selfish love until you know it.  Perhaps it will kiss your lips gradually and it will seem like a revelation…..but then it will come and not just kiss you briefly but visit you for a weekend and it will utterly change your life.  And then you will forget such a lofty experience until it comes to LIVE inside of you not as visitor but as sentience.  And increasingly you look at those high heights you reached and put it all back into perspective.  What was done is great, but what remains is greater.  You cannot imagine what remains.  You just can’t.  And I can’t tell you how perfect it all is.  I wish I could.  But you just have to feel it in your own skin.  This is simply not a journey I can describe before you get there.  You simply have to trust me that what I say is true.  Either you believe or you do not.  Either way, it is perfect.  The love I feel budding in me is now of a character that I have no deep need to spread the word.

Not even here.  Not because it isn’t important.  Its corner-stone important.  But the thing is, I know it is so incredibly wonderful, no soul, no matter how deluded, would ever fully escape its grasp, its tender touch, its incredible miraculous mystery.  So I know, however you do it, your soul will win in the end.  How long that takes, I can’t tell.  You see nowhere a finish line.  Source can conjure endless worlds within which our little plays work themselves out…..and these worlds are made through breath.  Galaxies spiral in and out just like breath.  All expands outward, an entire cosmos in time scales that are impossible to conceive, and yet all will collapse upon itself and this will be like one breath within the body of a still greater being.

And for as small as that might seem, ALL are cherished.  ALL of it.  Every speck.  All the good, all the evil, all the stupidity and silliness and hurt and shame and regret for It knows it shall turn shining into wonder joy love and shamelesness and unbelievable bliss.  Such is the path of the godlings that you are becoming.

All of us.

In perfect timing.  Our own timing.

Its been a whirlwind week and just when I though things couldn’t get more interesting, they do.

The process of awakening, for me, has not been simply a dawning of an enlightened state, although looking back on it I can say that yes, there was this…..but in truth, this is just the start.  You can see, but can you be?  If you look back at our history over the last five thousand years you can begin to peer into your own past as well.  The past has been one rough tumble and in awakening all of this begins to be shed.  Or at least it is on offer.  A new world.  Inside of you.  Except once you get there, it is more like remembering what you always were. What seems amazing and magical eventually becomes part of the experience.  Yes, there is a magical world, and part of its answer lies in the physical mirror of your right brain.  You see, I think we have some built-in problems with the mystical world.  It seems so “out there” and thus, in our very left brained mode of being (humanity is VERY left brain leaning and for a VERY long time), we look at the right brain and think “oh what a bunch of weird woo-woo!”  But this is only because we either do not have any experience with it, or in our own ignorance we want to insert our own ideas or theories about it. On the one hand, this is good as long as it has some guidance.  In science, for example, the discipline asks for repeatable data. Back it up with more than just a theory; give it a spin and see how it holds up. IN other areas of life, we can easily just insert our own impulse to mythologize the phenomenon or say it is the will of God or ascribe things to it that FEEL right but may not be entirely on the mark. Once we do this, we institute a kind of dogma surrounding such things.  Awakening becomes a process of “downloads” for example. Now a “download” might be a good way to describe it, but really, what IS a download?  Is it simply intuitive information available to all?  Does it exist within a matrix of shimmering knowing that is beyond all time?  Is it akasha?  Upgrades in awakening work much the same.  DNA upgrades?  Really?  Okay, so if that is the case, lets get someone in on this to help balance the terms some.  If it is a DNA upgrade, lets find out more.  Wouldn’t THAT be a biggie for us, that our spiritual development is tied to something happening in our DNA?  For now, it is just a notion, and it could very well be one that bears some fruit, but if it off by a mile, then this is a pretty big misdirection…..

I know; I am being a bit of a pedant.  But hang on.  One more thing follows…

For woo-woo as the mystical experience might be or might be described as being, it happens to have a mirror in our physiology.  I know from the root to crown that the body is the soul in flesh.  They are connected.  One is not JUST a vehicle for the other.  I also know from all my years of studying creative states and being an artist myself that the balancing of the right and left brains assists in the union of the self in highly effective creative states.  The brain itself is a kind of loose model for the yin and yang energies, and not so long ago I received some information on how the energy that isn’t physical moves up the energy system of cakras and has an assured route to final union.  It rests in how the brain and nervous system are wired in us, and its quite fascinating.  It isn’t anything I have seen mentioned anywhere else so I am touching on it here and I am putting it in that book of mine because it helps to underscore that life is not out to get us but is actually designed to facilitate awakening.  When we can get honest with ourselves about WHY more aren’t waking up, we can then hone in on the issues that might help to bring the planet to a much more illuminated state of being.

As the Kundalini rises through subtle channels of the body, the mirror of the light body, the physical body, will respond immediately to any change taking place that isn’t even physical in nature. Thus, your thoughts and feelings actually have a huge impact on your physiology.  Or they can.  By having the giant carrot of the bliss ahead of you, you can actually learn how to ride that wave of bliss and also learn how to balance the body chemistry to facilitate this change coming into your awareness.

The right brain though IS the seat of the mystical experience.  Jill Taylor, a neuroanatomist, had the great luck of having a stroke that affected her left brain function to the point that large portions of it just shut down.  She describes her experience in a TED Talk.  The interesting thing about her experience is that she is describing the overwhelming experience of living in the mystical realm.  But this realm does not exist outside of us but is mirrored in our bodies.  If you listen closely to her story, you will see what a huge impact this had on her as a scientist.  She even says what many people who have had awakening experiences have said (including comedian Jim Cary), which is that she wished that the whole world could know this kind of experience.  Perhaps then, the world would be a vastly different place. I am including her talk link at the end of this post so you can see it if you haven’t already.

What is woo-woo is actually really quite physical and concrete.  It is here inside of us.  But how do we tap that?  How do we “wake up”?  I think one key is in knowing the right brain more.  The right brain has been shoved aside for a very long time.  I was talking to a chemistry colleague at the school where I teach part time and when we began talking about the right brain functions she said “that is what many people in my field call “he is on weed.” ”  What she was saying was that the right brain stuff is something they not only ignore, they shove aside because it all seems too weird and out there.  But wait, maybe that IS the problem; we need perhaps to bring that wild “weed” part of ourselves back into the picture and stop stomping it out with our left brained limited perspective. The seat of ego seems VERY oriented towards the left brain.  Afterall, when Taylor tried to identify certain objects, she could not.  Ego does the same thing. Isn’t it possible that ego has a kind of leaning in one hemisphere or another?  Is it possible that in using ego we tend to utilize kindred portions of the brain in order to give the ego some sense of existence?

The left brain is very much about seeing the details, the linear progression of an event in life or in identifying small elements and being able to examine them.  Great for the micro but bad for the macro view.  We need the right brain for that.  Then, beneath all of this is the nonphysical template of who and what we are beyond our bodies.  The physical helps to give voice to our souls. We aren’t here trapped in a body but are instead living in a body that expresses important aspects of who and what we feel we are at this point in evolution.  Through the wisdom of the right brain, though, we are limitless. Thus, in the right brain, we can expand beyond one small limited perspective into quite revolutionary new views.  Artists have been utilizing this since forever. Maybe a Campbell’s soup can isn’t the best use of this, but it is at least a start.

So I say yes, you have the magical side of the self which is mirrored in the right brain and the very practical side of yourself mirrored in the left.  This also corresponds with a vast realm of being that you are beyond space-time, going beyond all of what you are here and into new territory.  But it serves to mirror your energy.  As you remove the very real blocks in your body, you also free up your capacity to feel and know what you are deeper down. The secret is that you are not apart from the universe, so in knowing yourself in this way, you also stumble into knowing the universe.

So chew on that for a bit.  I wish I had time to do a good edit, but I just don’t have the time right now.

The events of the last week have shown me anew that what I thought I was can be at anytime reformed, infused, regenerated and augmented in surprising ways.  What you think you are is limited by how deep you can go. Let the mind go.  Let the rational mind go.  It wont leave you crazy or adrift.  Maybe you NEED to be a little adrift for a moment before you can begin to feel those incredible eddies of energy shimmer up through you. Perhaps in doing so you can see the opposite side to energy, which is that it can be commanded.  it can be used like a long distance device that bring you just what you need for the moment. Once you know how this quantum field phenomenon works, you will also be staring straight into the yin energy, into the Shakti, into the Mother, the Goddess, into the right brain.  She is on her way back to us.  Each of us.


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