Archives for the month of: May, 2013

When it comes to the spiritual, it is important not to take anything too literally or on face value.  There is a LOT of material that has passed through countless lenses of the people who have espoused truths here and our history is one of a great deal of distortion.  The path of spirit is one that leads you, no one else, to the All. To do this it seems you must learn to turn the “truth” into yourself and see how it works for you.  It is as Buddha once said, and it is as true today as it was then.  Within you is the capacity to know what is true even though you may have many blinders and distorting lenses.  Ridding yourself of these is your journey to knowing who and what you are.  It is your great gift of realization.  Because we have all been gifted with individuality, we each will come to it in our own way. We each stand under the broad arc of heaven, which is the All.

There is a lot in sacred geometry that is more like a jazz riff than a mathematical formula that is rigid and unchanging.  This is so not because there aren’t constant principles at work within the universe but because our understanding and awareness changes.  So then we become ready to discover great revelations that will challenge what we though we knew.  Even if it was installed in grand traditions for thousands of years.  Be ready for it, my brethren and sistren, for it shall surely come as we move up the spiral of realizing who and what we are.

The kabbalistic tree of life is one such example.  It seeks to embody those principles that are vital to our spiritual nature and to suggest the flow and development of the soul as it moves along this path.  This model also exits in the Hindu tradition and it is very very similar.  Even so, in the crafting of these models, we can sometimes get glitches.  It is understandable; we seek to graft spirit to the body, to the material, and in the process sometimes information is lost in translation or the more subtle nuances are lost.  The model becomes an image in the mind and it then becomes a guide for thinking.  If the model is off, the thinking will be off a tad.  In truth, the principles for all of these models are amazingly simple but they lead to infinite profusion of creative output, which is why we are here.

So if you take the most basic of the principles and do not seek to put them into a model, save a spare one, my sense is that through your open mind seeded with intuition, you will naturally begin to discover the missing pieces, so-called, that exist within the model.  This is so because it is not something that is “out there” but actually within you.  You have the means to know yourself and so therefore, you can know all of this material if you simply open yourself to knowing it.  I know this is possible because it comes to me with great ease when I just let it happen.  I have uncovered many great things in the process of this that have helped to illuminate the ancient knowing of the past and help to update it.  This happens because there is more to know, more to be aware of, more to embody.  We aren’t finished yet. We are still in school.  So yes, we will know more that we might just now not even realize is even possible.  But it is.  It will be.  Even Jesus said “And you shall do even greater things than I…” which is a recognition by a master who was himself awakened that even where he was, was not static or the highest attainment, but rather that we are each human seeking higher attainment or realization.  Somewhere along the line, though, Jesus was given the mantle of God and this blurred the nuances of his humanness and made him seem beyond any improvement somehow. This was an early distortion that made its way, one of many, into the Christian tradition.

So when you see a merkabah, what is it that you see and then, what is it that you feel?  Wipe away what you think you know and let your mind go blank.  The answer might surprise you.  Don’t TRY to rationalize or apprehend because the part of you that is infinite, it does not have to try….and this is one of the things that trip many up in the process of learning how to use the intuition.  They think it is the same as the very left brained way of thinking.  It is not.  Not at all.  It is the opposite.  The harder it is, the further you are from it.  The easier it feels, the more effortless it feels, the more on spot that you are. For most, this is a very hard thing to get used to, but I promise you that it is true.  The idea that it must be an effort is a trap in and of itself, so let that go.  Let yourself remain as neutral and free from thought as possible.  This is why in so many spiritual circles meditation often involves emptying the mind.  Our rational bee hive mind has become something of a trap for us and we have to learn how to activate the right brain in a more balance approach to all of this.  The rational mind is great for small almost microscopic problems, but it utterly fails when dealing with the larger stuff.  The rational mind can bear a spark, but the right mind gestates the spark into a world of possibility.  Only the womb can conceive  the infinite.  It has its reflection within the right brain, the left side of the body, and has other manifestations occurring within our own bodies and natures.

So the foundation of all of this are two energies which are yin and yang.  They can be seen in everything from material to etheric/energetic.  It is in how electricity moves from negative to positive.  It is in how shadow and light work, how thermal dynamics works, how matter is held together.  All of it.  Out of everything these two forces reside and out of them a vast profusion of what we are can be known and felt. IN our bodies they rise straight up side by side and when we can raise our awareness of their presence, the body is able to follow suit since the material body follows the etheric double perfectly.  Straight up they go and as they strengthen through our awareness of them, they generate an electromagnetic field that supports a third energy that itself does not have an etheric channel at all, but is itself a radiance that is capable of being everywhere.  This is a curious characteristic in energy which physicists have observed; energy has the capacity to be nonlocal in nature.  It kind of explodes our notions of a linear space-based reality.  it is this energy, which is everywhere that is a transcendent energy when we feel it in the body.  It is nirvana, it is the Christ, it is any number of descriptors that have been used by those who have experienced it in the past.

The curious think about the nonlocality of the presence of this energy is how it interacts with the local environment.  For those who are familiar with it, they have often described the curious effect of the synchronicity.  This is itself the leading edge of something still more that we are learning how to come to grips with and use in a practical way.  It has the potential to change lives and change the world as we know it.  It has this power because it is wedded to the same energy that is of the right brain.  I KNOWS how to make things simple and easy.  But it isn’t JUST the right brain.  It is more than that.  In fact, it cannot exist without both the right and left, the masculine and feminine, as it is is described in the Hindu tradition, for example.

Enjoy the traditions of the past, but do not become slaves to them. Look at them and ask yourself, in your body, in your heart, what doesn’t feel right about them.  Then ask yourself does this come about because it’s just off or because you yourself are off.  It could be one or the other, or even both, so consider this.  If your field is active enough in y our awareness you can actually FEEL it even if you have not idea what the real truth is of the matter.  This process is not unlike dowsing.  Some part of you actually can tap the information banks to know where water is, or a lost object, but it isn’t found through your rational mind, so your mind needs a device to create the run-around the rational, and thus we have things like pendulums, dowsing rods, and things like that.  I have found that I can simply focus my awareness in my heart and ask my heart.  My heart will tell me very simple things when I do not know.  If I am off the mark, I will get a contracting of the heart center, which tells me that it senses that what I am considering is not in the fullest truth.  I may not know precisely what the glitch is, but I know it will somewhere be found. All I have to do is get quiet and listen without letting my own bias into the equation.  Doing this, though is most helpful when you can suspend ego or allow ego to take a back seat.  Ego is tricky for how easy it sneaks into our awareness even when we think it is not there.  Perhaps this is so because we have for generations gotten used to its front and center arrangement within our personalities.  The easiest thing is to simply not take anything too seriously, remembering that ego itself will seek to conflate things and turn a small miracle of manifesting into something fraught with meaning and importance when it was merely an act of good manifesting.  Suddenly a synchronistic event MEANS something, and this becomes the beginning of a great hunt for what that might be and often results in our pinning things inside of us or in the world with meanings that they do not deserve or warrant.

Feeling a rush of energy when someone is talking to us suddenly means that that person is important to us spiritually when in truth all they did was reach a high vibration that reminded us that we too can reach that vibration. It seems terribly important simply because we have not yet experienced the nine levels of vibration above that seemingly high vibration we just felt moments ago when we heard someone speak those words that opened us up, or seemed to.  The point here is that we are growing up and there is a LOT more “above” us that we are going to discover and it will all seem terribly important when in truth it will simply be us expanding in awareness.  If instead of pinning importance on each discovery you simply say “I am expanding….this is nice….this is a good sign….I am growing up…I am learning what I am in a greater context…” I think you will be much happier, more grounded, and less likely to turn the world that is being revealed to you into SOMETHING it is not.

Just don’t take it too seriously.  This is not a job, a race, or even an effort.  It is what you are.  Consider there is more to know and see and realize and as you do that, you might actually see things you hadn’t realized before.  Just keep yourself open and don’t marry yourself to anything just yet.  There is still a lot to know and to become and to let go of that will provide a MUCH clearer view of things.


Before I tell you this I am going to qualify it by saying that I fully suspect that what I have experienced is itself through some sort of filter or other.  I cannot, however, dismiss what it is that I will experience as a result of a very particular form of reverie as just imagination simply because I know now the role that imagination plays in helping to channel information into our awareness.  We clothe reality in all manner of dress while the essential truth lies within the body that is clothed.  Thus, the gods and goddesses come to us in myriad forms and ways and each one of them is in their own way valid, true, and real.  They themselves are connected into a vast network of sorts, a realm of being that is infinite. Like us, they live many different kinds of lives.  As such, there is a god and goddess within each of us simply because reality is not itself set to some linear process.  Our being exists all at once.  It is a mind boggling sort of realization, but when you feel it flooding into you, you can begin to get just how tangible and real this simultaneousness of time really is.  So what  I am saying is that I continue to have these experiences with touching the All which is very specific in how it comes to me and is actually entirely different from what I grew up imagining was the case.

There is this being that is so still and yet also so vibrant and alive.  A part of it is entirely conscious and aware of everything ALL AT ONCE.  This “everything” is actually a LOT of stuff.  A LOT.  Endless realities, worlds, and endless material packed into all of these worlds.  Our world is but one of many within this density of matter.  Countless worlds with life dot the skies.  COuntless other realities, versions of our own where copies of ourselves reside, counterparts of our own souls but experiencing slightly different situations within them exist.  There are all these realities which we don’t seem to know much about yet that do indeed exist and this being, the All, is aware of all of it.  How do I know this?  I have experienced watching it do this.  In my own fashion.

What I wind up seeing is something akin to what I can only describe as being like a giant egg or atom. It isn’t that I see this, but that I FEEL it.  This is then translated, through feeling into something that matches it or approximates it.  This is where I suspect a filter or lens is being used, and I think that when it comes to something that is outside our very physical way of associating with reality, we wind up fashioning something that is something of a translation.  What I am describing to you is just this.   Across its surface or moving all through it are all the events and things and thoughts that exist and that are happening NOW.  Every time I go back to it, it seems to change, to be slightly different, but in the way that something vast is different….that changes fast, but still retains something of its past self.  It is recognized as being the same thing in the same way that an old friend whom you have not seen in years is still recognizable.  What I see when I reach this place is something akin to a giant ball that has everything that is happening now moving through it.  It is like a giant boundless station where everything that is crosses through it, and observing how it observes is what I do….and I am fascinated by what I see or feel. I sense a deep state of attention, almost meditative with a very dynamic and alive sense or quality.  This is no dour god being that sits atop some lofty perch looking down on creation.  Not in the least.  Some how it is both within all of creation while also knowing itself in this space or place, an awareness of itself as individual but also an aggregate of everything else….a giant carpet upon which all of creation rides and becomes.  It is curious because this presence that is this form isn’t unapproachable at all, but is just the opposite.  There is nothing “fatherly” about this being and yet it is also truly humane without being human.  It is an intelligent energy that resides within everything. It watches or dreams deeply all that is taking place and does so in a state of what I can only call a mix of deep reverence and love.  It is watching all of this and it is learning.  It is learning the same way a parent learns from watching a child.  It is less a desire to correct as it is to marvel at what it has created.  Fresh and new in each moment, this being of the All observes in a way that feels participatory even though it is somehow NOT directing events.

When I experience this being, I do not hear some loud booming voice.  In fact, I hear no voice at all.  I sense a presence and it is entirely absorbed into everything. Across its surface skip countless images every second, material so fleet that my mind cannot even register it, except to know that it is there.  While it might seem that this is like some vast switch board, it is much more than just that.

When I find myself having reached this place within myself I remind myself that I need to reside here often because it is such a good place to be.  I say to it that I want to be just like it because whenever I come into the awareness that makes such a perception possible, I feel expansive and at one with myself and a current that is all of life.  The difference between me and this presence is that I feel the current more like how one might feel blood pumping through your veins whereas this being seems to be aware of each little thing, down to the atoms and subatomic particles because it IS everything.  In a way, it has kind of co-opted our awareness but in a way that does not direct or change anything.  We inhabit its body without knowing it….like cells living in a larger body with the being sitting “atop” all of these cells seeing itself as its own authentic self even though there are countless other authentic selves that reside within it.

Nothing about this being suggests that it is beating down anyone’s door.  It has no great secrets to impart or an agenda to press upon.  It feels like a completely  unconditional form of love that is more a being than a thing we feel.  Its like…..hmmm….its like this very particular thing originates with this being and it is something that it feels that is so special and can be felt just as it has always been.  Its unwavering and it is primordial because when you feel it, you are feeling into the vastness of the All knowing that this character of love is what everything will feel eventually when it begins to encounter the reality of this being, this All-ness.  It is everything, or resides within everything without getting in the way of our lives at all.  In fact, we go about our lives most often oblivious to its presence.

It feels like some part of it is waiting for us to wake up… become aware of it.  This, I sense, is a special moment, those glimmers of awareness.  It is like the lover who is always waiting outside your door just as you aren’t even aware that it had  been there all along.

To know the love of this being, just look outside and look at the utter profusion of life that is springing up everywhere.  Look at a small flower bud and look at how detailed, how miraculous it is and as you do, see those things as the presence of its love, which is itself a creative aspect of its being….love and creation touching one another. Except instead of having a few children, everything that is is its children.  Down to the atoms and quarks and all the rest. When you get that the love of this being is supporting all of this, then you can perhaps see just how incredible this being is.  And as I say this, it is entirely approachable.  It recognizes everything in an instant because it is itself.  Even as we have individuality, it too has individuality even as it is also not divided.  It is the great sum of all and is itself more.  Touching it in awareness is like being fed into a cosmic power line of the inspired state.

I have read somewhere, perhaps Osho who said this being cannot be grasped or cannot be known.  Maybe that is true.  But each time I reach into it and find it, it has been pretty much the same even though my own awareness has changed significantly over these last seven years since kundalini clicked on all the lights inside of me.It could be that this is simpler for me, and maybe that is so, but thus far it has remained unchanged.  I suspect that a direct experience of it would be different and yes, I think I am filtering material to a certain extent and yet, it is like the dyke is being held back even as rivulettes of water, its presence , trickles in.  It is streaming into our world even as it is entirely within it.  It streams in just as we realize it had never been absent one moment but had been there all along, a silent visitor who has granted us freewill and thus would not get in the way of that. It waits for when WE are ready.  To see it.  To feel it.  To BE it.

And that is how I experience this being that feels to me to be like All That Is.  For what it is worth…

The end.

What if you woke up one day to find that old blinders were gone? What if you awoke and realized that the who you thought you were was only one small part of the story? What if some rusty garden gate had been found, once covered in vines, had suddenly swung open to reveal another world. What would you do? And what if this garden gate opened up to another part of you so boundless that it  goes beyond description, a kind of ineffable mystery for the fact that, well, no words could contain it? And what if this world was like a river emptying out into a vast wellspring of an ocean of your being, first a crushing discovery, but later more a matter of having suddenly grown up. That garden gate swung open. That world did open.

What I saw on first glance was what I thought it was, but I was defining it as I stood in the old world. How do you look into another dimension from the one you already are in and seek to understand it or even describe it or even pretend like you even know? So once I think I know, I know I do not know. I say much, but what I don’t say is how utterly the landscape can change all around me. We are fond of making this into something and then using what we are here in this world to frame it and define it. A sudden wave of something moves through me and I know that no matter how I might try, I am just not going to explain this. I can’t. And silly me, I still try. Why? Only because I know in my bones that I was going to step forward one day and essentially point into that garden and say “Hey! Do you see THAT over there? Let’s take a look…” That really is all I am doing. Pointing out what I know is true, what can be framed in this context without too much distortion.

We are each a leaf on a still larger tree and all those other leaves are another me, another you, another one of us. And yet, our experience in individuality makes it hard to conceive of mass collective awareness as a single living organism, and yet this is just what we are at a certain point into that garden. Not losing our individuality, but enhanced by it, living in multiple channels all at once. Both rivulet, creek, river, and ocean all at once. All of it. One leaf. One petal on a still larger flower. Lifetimes in other lands, worlds, universes and even dimensions so different from this one that perhaps they seem to be more like dream than anything we might recognize as “real.” Given this kind of background, it strikes me as provincial to seek to describe or explain all of this. And yet we still try. Silly us.

This thing, it is what we are, who we are right now but we have simply tuned it out. RIGHT NOW. And if that seems hard to grasp consider that time itself is a bit of an illusory thing because once you peek behind the curtain you see the gears and switches and it all becomes plain; it is all happening at once. And we are slowly beginning to realize. Realize who we are, what we are. What we are is so amazing one wonders why we would ever seek to minimize this incredible thing. It sounds grandiose in a way, and it is, but it is also so simple and beautiful.

I think once we can remove the rest of the masks, the blinders and karma, a world so incredible will emerge that the old one will be like some old black and white photo that we look back on with love and care but not in seeking to go back to it in any real sort of way. The good old days weren’t so good as they were except when we look back on them with the magic of the gloss we put on everything. And yet, even now, we can expand into those times as deep ripples move out in all directions entirely transforming the Now and the past and the future. This is only possible because anything is possible and you are not limited. It makes being here mind boggling because of the utter profusion of existence existing in the wings of awareness. One petal. Many petals. One life, many lives. One soul, many souls. All souls.

I wanted to thank you all for your interest in this blog.  I have unfortunately been incredibly busy these last several weeks and my work has edged out the luxury time of sitting and considering and sharing those things with you.  If anything, my life shows me that long standing blocks can be removed in a wink, clearings that can help to accelerate thinking and move us to a new level of embodiment.  The more we let go, the more there is remaining.  Isn’t that kind of funny?  This reality often escapes us when we remain steeped in the thought that we are somehow limited.  We are beyond conception.  And yet, as we lean into the limitless ocean of our inner being, great surprises await us.  Beautiful and juicy ones.

With a recent clearing of some long standing material that caused me a good deal of etheric pain for some time, the shift and removal of these blocks has brought me back more deeply to myself.  It has taken a few years to reach this circle end, this ending that is itself a beginning, and I am so thankful for it.  I have gone from  feeling stuck to flowing more, advancing step by step into this broad ocean of being.  And it is most certainly there.

Part of this change has brought me to a place where I am working like never before.  My hands, the tools that make it possible for me to do my work are now back into the shape they were in when I was doing production glass work seven years ago, just before an accident put me out of commission and precipitated a big shift in my life that left me having to look hard at my motivations, my feelings and all that remained to simply let go of.   An old familiar feeling now moves in them in a way that you simply have to feel to know. Its back and some remarkable things have been taking place.

Going deep, I feel into the soul of life and the world.  Certainly it is on my own terms, but if you look at it all honestly, some sparkling realities rise to the surface….such as karma being the result of our turning away from our own essential selves and thus fueling a sense that we are somehow alone in this world, that we have been forsaken somehow. Yet all of this is what the Hindu call Maya.  In a sense it is true, but in another it is merely what we choose to create.  The “work” in all of this is itself always a letting go, a surrender even of cherished notions.  No, the world is simply not a place where God has somehow forgotten us.  It is rather that we have forgotten ourselves. Waking up to what we are in a fuller context is where the fruit of spirit hangs waiting for us to pluck it…sweet and juicy.  When we can unlock the mystery of karma and see it for what it is, it becomes a precious gift.  We can now choose differently because we ARE different.  When you can balance looking outward with looking outward through the inside, you too can begin to perceive the world as a vastly different place then what it was before.  If we can “get” that it is we who have turned away instead of some deity turning away from us and forsaking us, a new world emerges. The living Presence of the All lives inside each and every atom.  It is in you.  It looks out through each eye  and know a myriad world infinite in scope.  Quietly, waiting perhaps, it is ready for the day when you move closer to it.Without the coarsening thinking that so often plagues us, we can no be free to see things differently.


Thank you for your interest in the blog.  I hope to add a fresh batch of material when I can.  Until then,

I think my bed is calling me.  Until then, I wish you all the best.  Thank you for all you do and consider….

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