Tragedy Or Remedy?

How you see the world can change so quickly based on the clarity of your perception. 

What once was a bad thing can be later seen as a blessing. Sometimes when people behave badly it’s a simple sign that they are where they are and are unprepared for the kind of truthful engagement that you might need from relationships or interactions. And most of the time, it isn’t even personal. 

The world is full of people with their stories. For many, they would be lost without them.

Some tragedies are remedies in disguise. Finding the good is a powerful act of self care and love.
My best to you….

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Awakening & The Gospel Of Thomas

The Gospel of Thomas, along with the Gospel of Mary, and the Gospel of Philip,  were key books that I discovered early in my awakening that related to me the body of esoteric knowledge that Jesus taught to his disciples.

These books are so new to modern Christianity that their effects on our thinking are only recently being felt. The discovery of the Nag Hammadi codices happened in 1945 by a local man living near the town that the codices were named after. The same year the Dead Sea Scrolls were also discovered. The codices, though, were not fully translated and published until the early ’70’s. The differences between these two finds, though could not be greater: the Dead Sea Scrolls were written very much in the Judaic tradition as mystical treatises from a group of people who were the Essenes, while the Nag Hammadi was mystical thought based on what would become a break from the Judaic tradition into new realms of experience.

Reading them for the first time in 2006 was an epiphany for me. Growing up, I always felt that there was more, and that something more was missing from Christianity. I didn’t know what this something more even was, nor did I know why growing up that I had this deeply held sense about how Christianity had been hiding something. Sounds a little crazy, right? As I have read this collection of books that began with Thomas, I felt immediately as though I had found it. Just like any book I could feel where it was “off” or when a distortion was creeping in. When the writing was hitting the bullseye, it felt as though I was reading a buried truth inside of me. I saw how, for as useful as science has been, it had done the exact same thing religion had done; it taught us to pay no heed to our own experience (in this case, an inner reality was reduced to mere chemical signals and with religion, our broken state could not hope to allow us a clear view to divine reality).

The Gospel of Thomas was the first book that began to illuminate as well as unravel both what I was taught and what I suspected deep down was a different story about Christianity. Maybe you, too, have had similar misgivings-like something just doesn’t seem quite right about it? I guess I grew up questioning and found it odd that there was invariably that moment in conversation where the other person would say, “You just have to believe!” I never outgrew that need to question, and consequentially never became a follower of anything…..not a religion or philosophy or “ism.” But as time would tell, it stood me in good stead.

Being introduced to these books was like putting a puzzle piece into place that had long been missing. It came to me by way of a friend who read something I wrote while I was in the “thrall” of the energy I had been feeling in bursts early on before the full-on “rise” of awakening.

I published the writing on a forum in 2006 just months before kundalini rose. The writing was an innocent appraisal of what I was going through and how it was affecting my inner perception and experience at the time. It was written as prose, but it was poetry at its heart. The discovery that I made was when my friend suggested I read the gospel of Thomas in the Nag Hammad. I had no familiarity with these books, but found certain passages in Thomas to be identical in content to what I had just written. My friend had said as much, which piqued my curiosity.

The piece I wrote was about how all of nature was suffused with the energy of life force and that this force existed for plants just as it existed for humans; that sexual energy is the interconnecting principle behind all energy, which is creative and connective. Most people never feel this in their baseline experience because the energy is narrowed down so much that they only get a trickle. By sexual energy, I am not talking about sex or active arousal, but rather a steady continuou experience of sexual/sensual energy as a kind of energetic baseline —or bliss, if you prefer.  What I had unknowingly stumbled onto was this baseline experience instead of mere arousal. How can anyone know the creative power inherent in the emanations of spirit and the universe who does not experience it first hand? 

The energy that I felt was sexual, yes, but it was also different in that I noticed that it was opening my mind in a way that I was familiar with as an artist and seeker, but in a different way. It was like a rarefied form of inspiration, maybe like inspiration on steroids. It brought the awareness that I was opening up to a reality that existed in all things and that this was more than mere imagination. I was at work as this experience first poured through me so powerfully, and was like a narrative that hung in the air, waiting for me as I turned my mind back to it through the course of the day. It was almost exactly like putting a book down and picking it back up at the same place later. The sense that “I” alone was creating this had vanished.

Rather than feeling like I was creating this experience, it had an objective quality to it that was co-creative; as if it waited for me to find my own unique way to give it voice. This was a very different kind of experience, and I have written about it before. On that day it was as though I stepped past mere imagination to find that imagination, if you go deep enough into it, becomes a sensory portal where we form images to describe the reality we are experiencing when we are not using our physical senses. It allows you to see beyond yourself (as long as you aren’t wearing  blinders). 

The sense I had was extremely vivid and a little more than “trippy.” It has now become a fixture of my experience, but back then this was a horse of a different color. It was akin to how you awaken from a dream and are able to go back to sleep to finish the dream….except I was awake.

 It was like a truth living in the light. I came upon the first realization that sexuality was an integral part of spiritual energy in an undivided way. I knew, had known, that our sexuality had the capability to allow us deep communion with ourselves and one another, but I simply had not experienced it in the way I was doing so on that crisp October day in 2006. I was moved by sexual energy to see and to feel into a world that seemed like it was a product of imagination only to find that it was a channel, along with imagination, for apprehending the world and reality in a nonphysical, nonsensory way. I was not experiencing this with a person, it was with a matrix or field of energy that interpenetrated everything. It was through the energy that I first began to relate and see in this new way.

I realized that our shame about sexuality was, at least in part, blocking all of us from knowing the light of this knowing. I knew on that day that what made sexual energy dirty was the shame we brought to it. Sexual energy had been poorly understood as a result. 

When I finally sat down to write out the material that had played through my mind that day, I felt a need to note the time. I put it down on the page and began to type. The material poured through me. It was so fast, a part of me was surprised. I noted the time that I ended and put it at the end of the page. Years later, I went back and tried to type the piece again and found that I couldn’t match the speed that it came through. It was entitled The Yearning. 

After having written the piece, I had the first synchronicity occur that was uncanny right after leaving work. I went into town and wound up buying a science magazine that had a story in it that carried the same message in it as my writing. Out of all the magazine’s I could have bought, this one was the most different of all of them, and I had to work to find it because it was hidden behind a card rack in the store. When I looked at its cover, there was no mention of the story that was in it. These personally relevant coincidences would begin to form the basis of so many events in my life once awakening came in full force. Synchronicity happens when we step into the flow of this energy in consciousness, you see. It is part of this new landscape.

The writings of Thomas, which are a collection of quotes that Jesus said, carries no story-line like the mainstream Gospels do, but instead is a collection of sayings with no apparent personal commentary by Thomas. The book is laden with an understanding of awakening and relays this in the same way Jesus taught the masses, which was through a nonliteral language of parable and analogy. The reason for this is because Jesus was seeking to relay a nonphysical reality to minds who knew nothing but physical reality.  You can’t do this in a literal way and expect anyone to understand you.

Photograph of a page from The Gospel Of Thomas

The key here in ALL of his teachings is his use of the word “like” which is in nearly every parable: he does not say the kingdom is a mustard seed, he says it is like a mustard seed. This type of discourse assumes that you will look inward for the details, for the truth. It is a means of getting us to look inward to find our own inner mustard seed, to understand how something so small and so hidden can grow and unfold into something so large.

(17) “I shall give you what no eye has seen and what no ear has heard and what no hand has touched and what has never occurred to the human mind.”

This quote lies at the heart of the deeper esoteric teachings of Jesus, which was that this information could not be properly known through physical means or the senses. It was a reality that Jesus knew and sought to convey. More than just a structure for doing good, it was the essence of spiritual knowledge, of inner discovery. 

“Jesus said to them, “When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside, and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in the place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in the place of a likeness; then you will enter the kingdom.”

What Jesus is saying is that when the opposites within our nature are brought into unity, awakening comes. For Jesus, the kingdom was the word he used to describe this state of being. 
If this sounds the least bit familiar to those who know and experience kundalini, it is because it is. Some suggest that these teaching borrow from other esoteric traditions. Anyone who has experienced kundalini can likely tell you that when it happens to you, you don’t need a tradition to explain it. You know. So it is natural for anyone who caught on and achieved awakening to describe it in roughly similar ways as another culture or tradition did is because it’s the same experience being described. You will never get awakening through a description, you will get it because you found it inside of you. 

The awakening of kundalini is a merging of the seeming opposite forces in awareness, symbolized in the Hindu tradition as the two serpents that rise up through the body and awareness to merge into one another in an experience of blissful union that awakens, redeems, and saves us from being, as the Gnostic texts convey, “dead.” And life before awakening is like this-we thought we lived until we awoke and then REALLY knew what being alive was all about!

The idea of this fusion of opposites shows up throughout the teachings of Jesus in the Nag Hammadi. It is told in different ways, but it’s the nonliteral language Jesus is using that urges us to look within ourselves for the answer.

(48) “Jesus said, “If two make peace with each other in this one house, they will say to the mountain, “Move away,” and it will move away.”

The clue is in both context and the use of “two” in his teaching. The two are not two physical people. If you take it literally, you lose what he is trying to teach, which is much deeper. He is saying that when you make peace with the two forces in your awareness, the male and female, or in the Hindu tradition, the Shakti and Shiva, in your body (or house), you will attain the powers that come because of it. 
Jesus is not being literal; the two are living in the house that is the body. When they make peace, or move into union with one another, you can think of something and it happens. The mountain does not literally move, he is just saying that the seemingly impossible now becomes possible. For anyone who has experienced awakening, you know just what I mean. Again, synchronicity lies at the heart of this. 

Another key to this is also how Jesus uses the concept of being divided. When you are divided enough within, awakening is not possible. But when you are no longer divided, a process takes hold that is the very essence of what we talk about and experience in awakening. One of these keywords experiences is that of feeling as though we are being taken apart by this force, that it leaves us irretrievably changed. The accounts of this are too numerous to mention in the Nag Hammadi Library (where Thomas is found). So we have Jesus speaking directly to this experience again in Thomas where he states that, “Therefore I say, if he is destroyed he will be filled with light, but if he is divided, he will be filled with darkness.” 

Most every awakening is accompanied by a brilliant flash of light. The encounter of this light is the same light experienced upon bodily death, but those who were on to the esoteric teachings of Jesus could experience this light while still alive, an encounter that always leaves the person forever changed.
If you see what happens to people who have had near death experiences, they are all similarly changed by it; accounts almost always involve the person feeling as though they have to live their lives in a more purposeful and compassionate way than before. Additionally, people who have had a NDE will often have kundalini awakening and if not a rise of the energy, return with similar abilities as those who have awakened without an NDE. This is due to what the encounter with the light does, or initiates in us as real soulful change. It was so important that Jesus taught almost exclusively about it. What these teachings share with other traditions is the concept of a unified self as the means to know God, Cosmic Consciousness. I will remind my readers that the whole purpose of yoga is to bring body and mind into unity in order to prepare for awakening. The word yoga means union.

The question at the forefront of your mind might be, “If this is true, why doesn’t it come through more clearly in the canonical Gospels?” It is a fair question, and it’s due in part, I observe, as a result of the early versions of the  Gospels that were making their first rounds during the third century AD. These books have many of the same words in them, but a  different understanding was now in place. For example, when Jesus mentions adultery, people think he is talking against cheating on your spouse. But clearly in the Gospel of Mary our adultery is sinning against out own nature; we turn away from that part in ourselves that could save us. This is but one example of the differences in understanding that took place at the time. The documents, as written, reflect that level of understanding as a result.

These were books selected by a group of people who all thought the same way. That is, they were literalists, and the nuances of Jesus’s spoken word was lost on them. They thus favored books that conveyed a certain literalist depth to them. Everything else sounded like nonsensical gobbledygook to them. So naturally, anything that bid them to dig deep within was quickly rejected, and Thomas, along with a lot of the Nag Hammadi Library, is deep. They labelled it heresy because it did not agree with the collection of books that conveyed what I call Christianity Lite. 

I know this sounds dismissive, but it isn’t. It’s what my journey has shown me is true. If you like this form of Christianity, I think it’s fine, but don’t expect it to be a means to bring you to a full-on transcendent encounter with the cosmic  It simply lacks the important central teachings for sparking the requisite awareness and willingness to approach it differently for that to happen. Too much is missing from the road map! Besides, there are passages in the Bible that exhort followers not to fall prey to conjurer’s and magicians. They effectively sealed the library shut, denying anyone the hope of finding the keys to awaken. If this sounds bad, bear in mind that this was the exact same observation Jesus was making about the Pharisees when he was alive. The key unlocks all of us regardless of religion, but the key has been surrounded by fear of losing ones eternal soul. What a fine state! But the story has stuck along with a particilar understanding of the teachings, and the victor was Rome, so the church in Rome set the pace and the kind of story that would be told.

The history is not ambiguous on this. Rome became the center for Christianity based on the superior resources found there. But Rome was not the defacto center in the beginning. In fact, there was a very real vying for this designation in the beginning. Constantinople was one such early center, and there were also ministries that sprang up in the wake of the work that the disciples did early on in those areas. The gift of the discovery of the Nag Hammadi was a result, most likely, of a church that was nearby.   It is likely that there was ongoing activity long before the structure was even built. 

Rome became the center because of power, influence, money, scribal resources, and the will to become that center. The church also had the support of the Roman empire behind it. The church could decree any teachings it believed stood outside what they believed was the core messages as anathema, which they did, landing any heretic in jail or losing his or her life. The church could simply remand a person to the Roman authorities for punishment in much the same way certain Jews were said to have demanded punishment of Jesus before Pilate.

This is not the only force that served to so change the story of Jesus’s teachings. 
There are scribal errors. Some, most in fact, are so mild that they don’t change the meaning of what is being conveyed. There are tens of thousands of these types of errors that are found in the books, and they are easy to find by simply comparing all of the oldest copies of the same books with others of its kind. But there are more substantive errors that take place, and they are less numerous but they tend to be far more significant. These often take the form of translational errors. 

The Gospels were written mostly in Greek and later translated to Latin. This is how a passage in Luke has Jesus asking Peter three times if he loves him, totally missing the mark meaning-wise from what was said in the Greek version.

Jesus has Peter over to his house for breakfast and he turns to Peter asking him three times if Peter loves him. Peter says that he does love Jesus each time he is asked. 
On the face of it, it doesn’t make sense why Jesus would do this. He just keeps repeating himself. This encounter happened we think after the crucifixion, so Christians have explained this by saying that Jesus was doing this to remind Peter that he had denied knowing Jesus three times when Jesus was arrested and later crucified. And it all makes a kind of sense, except that isn’t what Jesus was asking Peter at all.

Instead, in the Greek, Jesus asks Peter if he loves him agape, which is the form of love one has for, and with, God. Then Jesus uses the word philos, which is the familial form of love one has. Think of it as brotherly love. Jesus then asks him if he feels eros, which is erotic, sexual love. Peter answers in the affirmative each time. 

Do you see how different this story is now? Instead of “going there” and shaming Peter for denouncing him, he is instead asking him if he loves him without reservation, without any boundaries as pertains to social propriety. Jesus wanted to know how full and complete Peter’s love was. Now imagine “eros” being translated into the King James’s Version! That was because the image which those in the early church chose was not the real Jesus. The accounts of Jesus thus followed the narrative the early church fathers wanted, which was a nonsexually, non-erotic Jesus. In this particular case, I think it was quite possible that the error in translation may have been intentional. It is why I view this passage as being intentionally mistranslated; having Jesus speaking of sexual love didn’t fit their narrative, but it fit another story when not translated completely, thus giving the passage a very different spin.

The other problematic side to this which I haven’t gotten into is the fact that Jesus spoke middle Aramaic, which is a highly contextual language. This means you need to know the context a word is given in order to discern it’s meaning. Since all of the Gospels, we assume, were first written in Greek (“koin” Greek), we are all one step removed from the nuances wording Jesus was giving in his teachings. The elephant in the room though is that if someone did not understand what was being said, a different story might be told. This is a small but important point.

Imagine the scene: Jesus walks into the kitchens of Levi and says, “That is a very cool oven, Levi! How do you cook with it?” Levi later says to his friends, “Jesus cannot understand how I cook with an oven which has no fire…” In truth, Jesus was saying that he thought Levi’s oven was really great and could he show Jesus how he cooks with it? I know that sounds silly, but it’s very likely this has happened about central concepts about Jesus’s divinity, our relationship to that divinity, and the path to salvation. Actually, these small errors make for big missunderstandings!

Most people assume that the Gospels were written by the disciples, but many of the disciples were illiterate and the canonical Gospels have very sophisticated writing structure. They were first told, then copied. There were different versions of the same document in existence (such as two copies of Matthew, one purported to be for the masses while another for the more initiated). Scholars can also see how a Gospel will abruptly have a different writing style, which suggests a different writer. Most readers never even catch the difference though.

 Through translational errors as well as picking the versions of books that spoke more to the people’s own sensibilities who came three hundred years after Jesus, this likely became the force that defined our understanding of Jesus as the man we think we know. 

Then, it was quite easy to fold our arms and say, “For the Bible tells me so!” Except that this isn’t so because there is a problem with that Bible.

We now have books that were hidden away for over 1600 years that had been thought to be extinct. The fabled Gospel of Thomas was decried a myth by the church (even though it was mentioned in the writings of some well known people at the time) until a copy of it emerged having been discovered in the desert of Egypt in 1945. Along with it came a trove of over 40 books all bound in leather folio’s, the contents of which have caused scholars to rethink Christianity in a radicaly new way. 

It would be a different story if the books made no sense at all, but instead the teachings are extremely deep, so deep that gnostic scholars admit that they have trouble understanding them.
They don’t understand them because these books are a treasure of esoteric teachings, the marrow of how to find God, how to know the self, to know about the twin forces within awareness that Jesus says many times in different books as his being “One with the father and mother.” This only sounds strange to someone who has no experience with awakening. Thus, the books in the Nag Hammadi have this as a consistent theme. Yes, there is mention of God the father, some writing in the NHL uses this term exclusively to describe the masculine aspect. But it also focuses on the feminine aspect exclusively too, (Pistis Sophia) so there you go. These “new” themes are difficult for scholars to understand because they themselves do not know or already taste the nature of the experience. 
It’s hard to pull back the veil when you don’t know a veil is even there.
 
To better understand the rift that occurred in the early church and how heresy was the origin of Christianity (as defined by the church in Rome), you have to read the history on all of this. You won’t find the whole history within the church because the church had its mind made up 1600 years ago and it hasn’t changed much since Instead, you have to pick up scholarly analysis to begin to see the additional materials that help to clarify the issue more.

Works by Bart Ehrman, while criticized by the church, are some of the best examples for understanding the Bible as it was instead of how it has been made to look. He does this by examining the facts. He draws on scholarly research instead of faith.
Even in his own work, there seems to be something missing, which is the gap between the esoteric works and the exoteric (canonical Gospels). Somewhere between the death of Jesus and the birth of the church under emperor Constantine, there was a dividing of the way in understanding. Somewhere, books were radically changed. Perhaps this was done piece-meal, changes that took place as the result of people hearing the stories and having only a limited understanding,and then writing them down.  What we know is that the Gospels, most of them, were not written by their authors. We know this because of how they are written. They often use the name of the writer as having said what the book contains instead of the writer using the correct  form of person if they were writing it; “These were the words that Jesus told Luke” instead of, “These were the words that Jesus told to me, Luke.” Even in Thomas the same form is suggested in the first sentence:. “These are the secret sayings which the living Jesus spoke which Didymos Judas Thomas wrote down.” In the case of Thomas, the sayings were without narrative, so it was easier to simply copy them as they were. Scribal errors were reduced with the document  because it had been written and then buried for 1600 years. But this book was copied many times even as the other Gospels were.We do not have another copy of Thomas with which to compare. We do know that some of the sayings found in Thomas were found carved in a building in India, a country, not coincidentally, that Thomas was said to have been encouraged to go to spread the teachings.

(5)Jesus said, “Recognize what is in your sight, and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you. For there is nothing hidden which will become manifest.”

The process of awakening is one where you increasingly learn to see things as they are. When you are able to pierce the fog of your belief and inner bias, events will look vastly different to you. You will also attain secret knowledge, which is referred to as “gnosis” and that those who did know were the “gnosticoi.” While writing this piece I had a comment made on another earlier post where a reader, herself awakened, described how she could discern answers to problems, any problem by sitting down, getting quiet, and ‘listening’ inwardly for the answer…. which, she added, always comes. So that is an example of what I mean by “secret” knowledge.

The act of merging the opposites within is what keeps us from being “one-sided” or stuck in one mode (masculine/rational) of thinking. It is when we merge them and find union within that the energy rises and we are saved from death.

The “rising” is mentioned in Philip, and it’s quite remarkable. He explains we must attain this while alive now if we are to live a fuller life. He suggests in his explanation of it that simply waiting to find it when we die wont do it; doing it here is important. He uses the term rising in the flesh. He also explains that the concept of resurrection was wrong. We do not die and come to life, but we are as though dead and come into a larger spiritual life, becoming more alive. I highly suspect that even in his lifetime Philip was seeing a corruption of the teachings by people thinking Jesus would come back to resurrect them, which is a distortion that shows up in the canonical Gospels such as in Revelation where Jesus comes in glory to raise up the dead and judge them too. This is how the fairy tale that is the rapture came to be I think. But Philip explains, no, this is a rebirth, a resurrection of the self in flesh as though it had been dead. This is not a literal physical death. This is a death of soul, of awareness of ones true potential.

This concept of those who are “dead” are found through both Thomas as well as Philip. It is clear that Jesus is playing with words to make an important point. It is also word usage that befuddles scholars. “The dead are not living and the living do not die.”

Those who are not awakened are like someone who is dead; they do not live the fuller life that awakening, or the kingdom affords them. The living do not taste death because the gnosis which they attain upon awakening shows them that they are more than flesh and bone and that the universe is a living breathing subtle presence that supports this new life by way of the Creator who is both masculine and feninine. It is by joining the two in yourself that you live in the same way as the deity does. This is why it brings gnosis of the deity; the twin forces that are in you are present in the deity. This becomes the way to know this larger life.

The difference between canon and the Nag Hammadi is the role Christ plays. In canon, you seek the Christ as Jesus to be saved by him. In the Nag Hammadi, the Christ is found within. You already have the capacity to BE a Christ. The idea that anyone could be a Christ right along with Jesus was an anametha to the church and could land you in jail, and you could lose your life.

The clues to all of this is in knowing that the sayings were meant to stir your own knowing. It’s there for you to know. When you do know, you will begin to see what is being said. While the vocabulary might be different from Vedic teachings about the rising of kundalini, and while they may vary based on aporoach and their details, they both are speaking about the same exact thing. This teaching is the same as found in other non-abrahamic religions or philosophies.

The sad part is that this was weeded out in the beginning as “heresy” when in fact it contains the esoteric teachings that Jesus conveyed to his disciples because, as Jesus explains, the masses are not able to understand his deeper teachings even though they are present in every single parable. He also points out to Peter in the same sentence that even though Jesus speaks plainly to Peter that even he does not understand.

This is a tall order for us, then, to understand these teachings. Perhaps the difference in content may have been due to the differences amongst the disciples themselves, with small differences equalling substantive differences in what they each understood the teachings to mean. Even in the letter of Peter to Philip, Peter describes Philip as standing or keeping himself “separate” from the rest of the disciples. Could it have been that Philip found himself at odds with the rest of the group in his understanding of the teachings? 

I won’t pretend that the Nag Hammadi is without fault, though. While it has those parts that seem to lift off the page, it also contains a lot of what I would expect from a culture of the time as being highly resistant to the feminine principle having equality amongst the masculine. This is no more evident than in the creation story that was written by this group of people. In it, the error in the world came about by the feminine principle seeking to create a world on her own, which results on a demiurge that then sows all kinds of havoc in the world. It seems women just can’t get an even break! But you can see how the bias is there and results in a prejudice against this force, which we all have in ourselves. But luckily, the truth is there inside you, you need only knock and the door will be opened.

When I awoke, I became aware by meditating and focusing on the energy that this thing felt like the embrace of a man and woman. I called it that. I also found that the i focused on their embrace that I could begin to feel a third presence emerge from them. I called this “the child.” I didn’t know that this was kundalini, I simply knew what I felt. What I did not know was that this was the same result as the early Christians had and were describing. In fact, they used the image of the bridal chamber to explain the sexual bliss that existed in the experience of this union. The Christ was the one who emerged from this bridal chamber called the “nymphion.” Boom.

It was in reading these words that it all came  together for me; the union of the inner man and woman producing the child, which for me was a transcendent awareness that unleashed my mind and brought “secret knowledge” was the same thing Jesus and his followers had described. It was also an idea the later Christians who devolved away from and could not stand the idea of their god-man as being sexual in any way. This also meant that the teachings of Christianity did not offer the teachings which, despite their prudishness, would have actually saved them and redirected them into a new life.

It was a big “WOW” moment for me to say the least. This was the origin of the Trinity, and the takeaway here was that the Holy Ghost was the missing link, the feminine aspect that if understood, could have jump-started a revolution in being here on earth. 

In recent posts on how to release trauma, you can perhaps understand why I stress why it’s so important to release trauma or emotional material from the past. It is because it serves to divide you and keeps your insides turning away from the trigger that brings awakening.

This is not just achieved by dealing with emotional material in a more or less direct fashion, it can also be achieved by way of somatic release exercises which recognizes that emotion is stored in the body and can be released through body movement without having to reexperience trauma, but simply to face and acknowledge the emotion. This is at the core of pranayama yoga as well as chi gong, just to name a few. This has, though, the result of releasing what divides you and as such, will lead to awakening when enough of the right material is healed or released. It isn’t for the elect, it is who each of us are regardless of class or religion. It goes way deeper than that.

The teachings found in Thomas might speak to you as they spoke to me and others. For me, it was through Thomas that I knew someone besides me had experienced this before. Philip explained that Jesus was trying to get his disciples to be Christ’s. This happens when the two merge deeply into each other and remain so from then on. This is the consumation of Augustine, the divine marriage of the alchemists, and the Bridal Chamber. It is cosmic consciousness of the Hindu, exemplified in the merging of the yoni and lingam, the Tor of the Druids in England, and cosmic mind of the Zen Buddhists.
Critics of these writings seem to say that the writings in the NHL are of eastern lineage and are not aligned to Christian thinking. I rather think that the truths espoused in all of these traditions or strands of thought arise from direct experience of a spiritual reality that is common to us all. I was able to describe my own experience without the aid of a tradition. Further, I was led to writings that had passages nearly identical to what I had written. 
What I did was no different than what anyone else has done who could witness their own awakening. It isn’t that the early Christians were  a “Gnostic” group, it was that they had insight that led them to describe what all other esoteric traditions have done for ages, with the descriptions illuminating a condition, or state, or structure to consciousness that is common to all of us. What the critics do not get is that this experience is often so clear and vivid that those describing it as the union of opposites are describing it as it is. No tradition needs to tell you what’s happening because you feel the energy rise, you feel the physiological and neurological reaction to the energy as serpentine, and you experience the rush as it pierces the chakras and opens you even further for the universal awareness to move through you.  I described it on my own in exactly the same way that the early Christians had-which was the truth of the Trinity.

All of this amazing stuff is in you, and is the source of all that I write about. I hope that you might find this so that you can walk in this new life which is the real “resurrection and the life.”

Is WordPress Political?

The best way to see how WordPress is actively censoring information is what it did when I tried to post a link to a video showing how Hillary Clinton has a too aid who has proven ties to radical Muslims.
It could not be posted. After watching the video, I was very concerned and found WP’s denial of the link odd.
So with an odd feeling creeping over me I entered some search terms into WP to see what would happen. I typed  “Hillary Radical Muslim” and got a message that this tag could not be added. I then tried several different versions. No, WordPress refused to let me search using those terms. 
It gets more interesting, though. It let me search using the same terms but using Trump instead. Skewed? Sure looks like it.
I’m going to keep searching to see if this is simply an oversight somehow, but it sure looks weird at this point.  What’s next? My posts disappearing?
Hmmmm……

Every Time

Here is a simple practice for clearing the decks of material that has given you problems in your spiritual work, or that could be a challenge as you delve deeper….

You know the negative reaction you have in your day to day life that gives you frustration or upset? No matter how inconsequential you think that thing is, it is a sign of inner work that remains. It is also something that once you really look at it objectively through the lens of the “Watcher,” “Observer,” or “Witness”  can provide you with a clear view to what the root of the problem is.

If you fall for thinking that everyone else is the problem, you won’t get very far in doing this type of work. Instead, try to see that the world is full of people who have their stuff, their own baggage, and they all act based in large part, at least negatively, to what that baggage is about. This isn’t personal, so don’t  make it personal by getting hooked into their junk. 
Instead, witness your own reactions in your day to day to the world around you and this will tell you perfectly what YOU have yet to clean up. When you do this work, it clears you of the kinds of reactions that form the basis for your junk. You see?  This is about you and the work that remains for you to do.

All of our suffering stems from our own self-made expectations about how we want the world to be. But the world is the way it is. The fact remains that when you can make a deep substantive peace with this fact, your life will fill more and more with peace, calm, and bliss. Only then can you hope to bring substantive change to the problems that beset the world around you. 
Trying to wrestle with the problems of the world by using life force energy that brings bliss by turning it into anger and frustration leaves you weak and defeated. It is a tar pit; the more you struggle, the more stuck you become. So you choose to change yourself, and when you do enough of this, the clarity of bliss begins to emerge.

All of us are vessels for a very fine vibrational energy that is our birthright. It flows through all things. It is the love that flows through the veins of an infinitely large awareness that we call Creator, Source, All That Is, and God. We are like cells in this vast body, able to soak up this amazing energy that is its lifeblood. So I ask you, wouldn’t it make better sense to first get in touch with this seemingly subtle baseline experience first and then take on healing the world? If you do, you will be coming from a place of greater love and compassion, and it will make your and everyone’s lives much better.
You might think that I am somehow glossing over the best ills of the world. I am not. People do indeed do some pretty gnarly things, and when someone says or does something that is a violation of sound principles of behavior, we have a duty to point out the deficiency. This does not mean that we must bring suffering on ourselves for the misdeeds of others. That’s their junk. If someone lies about you, this can be hurtful only if you are unsure whether the lie is really a lie. If you are centered and confident in who you are, a lie is simply an error and nothing to take personally. But does an eye for an eye do anything to end the suffering here? No, it does not.
I come from a place where I know we all want to do good, but our baggage, our reflecting on past unresolved hurt, gets in the way. So if someone cuts you off in traffic, they could be working from their own hurt, which makes them feel entitled to do what they do. They could also need to get to the nearest bathroom, too, so you just never really know. The point here is you react the way you do as a result of a reflection upon what remains in you…. otherwise you might not jump the gun and assume that someone is just intending to be mean (note: you have not fully dealt with someone who was mean to you in the past…something to look at and let go of).

Observe, identify, then change through awareness. This is the path to a peaceful and fulfilling life.

Shine on….

The Veil

Many speak of the veil thinning. But really what is this veil? Why is there a veil? 

Some think it serves a purpose. Some think it was put here by spiritual beings who did not have our higher evolution in mind. But this veil is in truth none of these things. The veil has been an act of narrowing our awareness along one singular, but binary, path. Binary means that there is another compliment, a compliment that is missing. It is this missing part that has created the veil. Since it is self created, this means it can be unmade.

We live in a world where we are so focused on the physical senses and locked in the rational mind whilst wondering what happened to that something “more” never realizing that we each have fallen under the spell of this type of focus.

Taking responsibility for our awareness and how we perceive how unaware we are is what brings each person back to a place where this veil will begin to thin, then fall away to greater and lesser degrees depending on the focus of consciousness and the needs of the individual. 

The veil is within. It is no longer necessary for it to remain. Our need to stay so focused is not needed for survival, and is leaving the species in a monodimensionality experience cut off, seemingly, from the kingdom that is within.

I grew up with experiences that showed me that the world of consensus reality was only a limited and lopsided view.At a very young age I was having out of body experiences, dreams that would come true, and indications that the world around me was imbued with a deeper reality, a validity all its own, and it lay largely hidden behind the veil of my physical senses. As I grew I learned that people, because they did not witness this world, did not believe it existed. And that was just the problem; their belief became the way this veil thickened, effectively trapping them in 3-D awareness. I went along with it, but I knew the full story had not been told. I knew better, despite the desire in everyone to drive their belief into everyone.

You can break out of this self made prison. You need only inquire. Since the other side of our awareness takes in the inner senses, then it will most likely be through them that you will begin to see things more as they are.

Meditation is one simple first step. If you do yoga, don’t get hung up on being an athlete, but seek instead for the places that it softens your inner resistance. Yoga was first intended to unify not just body and mind, but the lost part that is our mind. So feel for those softening places, the parts that feel that they are about to let go an avalanche. You have to experience a few inner mud slides before enough material is removed for you to begin to see this more. A part of you might feel it is being undone. Don’t worry; there is always an intelligence there in moments such as these that will guide quietly even if you are not yet ready to know it’s presence.

A good out of body experience is enough to show you this something more. Since you use your inner senses when projecting consciousness, this is a very good way to become acquainted with them. 

Follow your instincts. Be ready to also examine them as well. An instinct built on bias and fear is not going to convey the bigger picture to you. Always hone, always winnow the chaff from the wheat. And be ready to test your senses. It will show you where you are still deficient, and it may help you to improve.

Some hemisync CD’s can serve to sync both hemispheres of the brain better. I found this played a useful part in my awakening when done at the right stage of the process. Then focusing on the third eye is another way to begin activating all the other centers. This was what Jesus was eluding to in Luke when he spoke of making the two eyes into one, thus filling the self with light. The two physical eyes looks into the one chakra center because it’s “in” your vision all the time. Close your eyes and focus on the center of vision and do nothing else. Don’t expect, don’t try. Just do this while in a deep state of relaxation. You don’t even need to do it for long periods. I activated the third eye after no more that ten or fifteen minutes of quiet focus. You will know it is working when you feel pressure spreading out from the third eye all across your head. Again, you only need to witness, don’t try to do anything. There is nothing in your rational mind that is going to do anything to help. This feels like the opposite of doing, and it is perhaps why so few “get it” and stop only steps from the trigger point.

You can imagine an energy made up of two stands of energy, bound together, that rises up from the earth and up to the crown of your head. In a book on pranayam yoga, whose purpose it is to prepare for kundalini had all of one sentence in the whole book about how to awaken kundalini. Why? Because it is just that simple. You imagine a current or energy moving upwards through the chakras and the trunk of the body. That is it. It is this simple. Gopi Krishna, the author of a book considered a classic in the field, was using this very method or visualization technique.

“But what if I do it wrong?” Is often the refrain. After all, didn’t Gopi say he didn’t awaken his kundalini correctly? Gopi was not able to allow the feminine side of the force to fully enter his awareness, so that it made him feel out of balance. I know what Hopi was doing, and it had little to do with “raising it wrong.” Gopi was resisting his feminine aspect due to a deep fear that became his resistance and kept his feminine from giving him the balance that he needed. The feminine was still there, you can’t have kundalini without it. It is a two-in-one energy, and the force cones from both present. Gopi’s trouble lay in simple resistance. 
If you read a few posts back I mention how if you resist kundalini, it will kick your butt. When you do this, you develop physical symptoms of pain. It is a terrible situation. Gopi was in just such a condition. Being from a culture with such strong paternalism present, it is easy to see how hard it was for him to acknowledge this aspect of his higher self. But the higher self viewed through the lens of kundalini makes the higher self incredibly strong. To resist in the middle of this growing awareness means trouble. So let go. You will thank me for it later.

You do not raise kundalini the wrong way. You can only seek to deny aspects of its true nature, which is your true nature. When you allow it to be itself more fully, it will make you into a model of itself. It is a bridge to the cosmos. Let kubdalini do its work clearing the path to this bridge within. The only thing it is doing is showing who you are free from your limitations that are entirely self made.
When kundalini rose I was not sitting in full or half lotus. I was not using breath work taught to me by my guru. Heck, I didn’t even have a guru! I had no belief, no method, and NO teacher. The energy IS the teacher. When I read blogs of Indian gurus talking about how you can’t awaken without diksha or shaktipot, or anything you try to do on your own is WRONG, well, it’s enough proof to me that there is something awry here. And yes, many well-intended gentlemen of the Indian persuasion have seen to it to explain kindly to me that no way did I awaken kundalini….because of…..well….diksha….guru….lotus…and on and on. And I am one of THOUSANDS who are awakening this way. So there. 🙂

Releasing stored trauma is another critical step in waking up to this world within. In a recent post I have provided you with a tried and true trauma release method only recently gaining use for all sorts of stored emotional material. The less you have of it, the easier kundalini will flow.

People ask for methods, and so now you have them. But as you move into this, consider your life and whether you have the support for it. In my case, I had no support at all, but once I was in the flow, events unfolded in perfect timing to bring me exactly what I needed in the form of teachers along the way. I could not have gotten as good helpers if I had tried for years searching. Do you see? All of this begins to be like it has already been arranged, because in a very real way, it has. 

This is how you thin the veil. It is you. You release what holds an awareness of this other world at bay. It is all within your power to change all of it and see with new eyes and a renewed mind and heart.
Blessings to you on your path….
“O, You who are ever giving life to all life, moving all creatures, root of all things, washing them clean, wiping out their mistakes, healing their wounds, You are our true  life, luminous, wonderful, awakening the heart from its ancient sleep.” -Hildegard of Bingen

Trust In Authority

There is nothing that cannot be known. The way to know is through your own inner self. But I ask you, who is inquiring within to find the answers? The great stumbling block for so many is that they seek an outer authority for their answers when the answer can absoluteky be found much quicker and with far greater relevance when you use the equipment that you were supplied with. So why not? Most simply do not trust themselves.

Note: trust yourself. 
Trust and you will find the world opening up to you in ways you didn’t think was possible. Reach into that seeming void and as you do, you will feel the stuff of the universe will flow through you as your mind very quickly learns how to spin thread out of the ether. That thread will be the assemblage that you seek. 
You must trust, you might need to believe it is possible first. Breathe deep and begin to let go, let your rational mind go blank. Then feel into it. What comes up? Images, words, thoughts? 
It might take some time to work through the noise and static, but as you do, you will break through into states of pitched clarity, of certainties. Follow those, find ways to verify them and test them to see how close you are. Everyone is different in what part of the spectrum they are sensitive in, or b best focused with. Empty yourself of expectation and practice.
As you do, you will begin to trust in the only authority that is really ever relevant: yourself.
Sleep well, my bearers of light….

You

 

I know the moment that you came because of the choice I made to feel differently. I let go a gripping guilt that I hadn’t done enough, and gave up feeling daily frustration with a universe that would send me signs and signals with no real way to unravel them. When I let it go, it came immediately.

You were like some vast engine of divine design, a technology from another world; some object had set itself down in the middle of my  essence and got to work. 
You were a visitor then, a mysterious presence I was just vaguely aware of.

No. Your presence was not vague. Not at all. I knew something was different. This “different” is with me now ten years after its inception. But like a flower, it has unfolded, bloomed, even as my own capacity to understand or grasp some of its wonders has increased. 
You worked first here, then there, making it all appear accidental that I happened upon one meditation or focus only to find the next thing to do in perfect timing. It was not accidental, but handled carefully so that, like a rug or flower, it might unroll fully or bloom in me.
The flower continues to open. How far will it continue? Still more yet, you say.  

In truth, I just didn’t know that this was a thing. It seemed as though I had momentarily stepped into a kind of twilight zone. My awakening came gradually, not like a blast. There were symptoms here and then there. I described you like a renovating force that would one day be working on the roof, another day on the plumbing. It was at the edges of my awareness. I had not had a big picture view of what you were up to. Not right away. You sent me the most bizarre happenings, so bizarre that I dared not tell anyone about them for fear they would cart me off. And when I did try to explain what you were doing, they did not, could not, understand. It is like trying to understand how one person loves another. It is a mystery and is not spoken through words (even though our poets try endlessly) and is best to experience you directly.

With you, I awakened gently, in beautiful bursts of realization. Only later did you show, or reveal, the shadow of my uncertainties and fears.

 You whispered three days later after I let go, that I belonged. I was family to everything. Smiling, you took my hand and bid me travel to see the source of my relations as I stood looking gape-mouthed at the twins who enter this world and create matter, even events, as all energy rode on the backs of these blissful and utterly joyful relations our world has yet to discover. 
Within the cloud of the atom, these quasi particles are a speck across their surface, the most inconsequential thing, and yet, are the key to understanding ourselves and how our world is made.

How could I have been so blind to this joy you showed me that exists at the micro nano scale, whose productions occur faster than our own thoughts are conceived? Here a vast world of grace-filled choreography takes place just to sustain our reality for mere microseconds as trillions of them flow into and out of our reality for every micro-inch of space.

You gave to me what was my own, accelerating and magnifying all of it so that I might see. Over and over, the flower of the world opens as I open, as I throw off what does not suit my essence and I rewind the error I stepped into in order to lovingly heal it and consume and transmute it from ignorance into knowing.

You were not here to save me from myself, you were here to help me know myself, my history down through time, to see where I went wrong, not honoring that perfect pitch of vibration that saves. But I chose slavery of all sorts over and over; why? That I might love freedom more and never again feel the chains of being anything less than in my highest. Here, the shadow mirrors the light. But what happens when shadow is all consumed into light?

You told me a great change was coming. This was the cleansing you whispered to me lifetimes ago in the mountains as I cried for a vision and bid the thunder being within to come. This turning can no longer be understood using old understanding, for the need for balancing shadow with light is now a quaint ism that served a purpose, a kind of divine design, but is now no longer relevant. The great Circle, as you spoke so boldly, has come full turn. A new Aeon is upon us.  And thus, the Lord’s and Ladies of its shadow are being redeemed so that they too might step into Light as well, moving from troublesome to trouble free. This light has always dissolved creations not in their fullest expression so they might reach it, and in so doing,  find their bondage was only a creation.

But it seems shadow grows deep here now, which is curious to me, as though shadow, knowing it’s days are numbered, clamors for an even greater grip of control. I worry about the gross abuses this is bringing with a regime who has technology that has been kept secret from the People of this planet, that has the power to chain minds and bodies. But you stood back and said it must first rear its head, to move just enough into the light that we might seize it and show ourselves what glorious madness our technological reach has exceeded our grasp, and the costs that are involved. It seems we must brush up against losing ourselves and our delicate cradle of life before we take action. It is ever thus you said, quoting, of all people, a cartoonist….but….(you added) it’s apt and true nonetheless.

You have said that in each life the self must see before it fully knows in order to transmute the shadow into light, and that as a species we will have to do the same but on a world wide scale.I wonder if we can do it just as you say the holy ghost has always worked in secret bringing the truth to light, using those who would deceive to wind up as the agents of global change. It is their pride that blinds them so they reveal themselves, for they think what they do is great and will not be able to resist showing their error. I sure hope it is so. 

You have explained that the Goddess does not move against wrong with a clenched fist, but an open hand, which is the womb that transmutes and shows truth as it is. It has always been this way;her womb was not made to perpetuate error, but the seed must be given in truth for truth to be revealed. The open hand shows the fruit of error as a tree bears nothing that it itself is not.

You have shown me so much of myself and how I am Wed to the All. So simple; who needs teachers who speak and instruct from ancient scrolls that repeat the dim realizations of past error when the light within knows all that needs be known?

Every flower that opens, I feel opening in me as the true essence of Gaia and the Feminine returns to grasp her power and emerges here again. She is in each of us, an orgasmic rippling tsunami of a wave who bears no shame but liberation from long dead concerns and fears. From her we can each be healed if we just give ourselves over to her and let her take us for as long as is necessary.  The path will be through honesty for nothing hides in the light which is coming.

So you have come, through the whispers of others, some reaching part way to you, and others more deeply. Some, so inspired, wished to call your voice God, and made laws around your gentle unbending presence. This always lacked something because she was a he, an angry father God bereft of his truer nature as the two that makes the third, the great trine that reveals the nature of the cosmos was never fully revealed. You have come more as wind, bidding me to fly than to seek to only build upon firm stone. It is you who must scatter the stones that the error might be seen. Bear stone and wind together that you might inherit heaven.

You came gently, inconsequential at first, a mere whisper on the wind; it is here. You set up shop and made no deals or compromises. You brought torrents and resources perfectly timed to make the next step possible. The light shot through like lightening in the night, illuminating and striking to the center of things. Unbending, you have shown me the light I came to know in myself and how it was living everywhere in the world. No more than this do you need, upon no more than this must you depend you said  as I struggled with the weight of my past. You created this in the same way that you will now create your freedom. 

Just when I turned to look at you squarely I found you were not there, had never been there, and had always been what I was, a clever production to get me to trust in myself who always had the truth of the light all along. You would not have believed me had it been any different…so each self encounters itself as this until the chains fall away, whatever they might be, to reveal that we were always one.

So I have become a lover from your touch, a divine parentage from which I learn so much.  As I feel deeply within what you are, I sense now that you too had this once, that an even more “ancient” presence set up shop within in much the same way as you have done with me, as you were shown the way forward in yourself in your own way. Within my center you smile saying “it has ever been thus” as you wink and wonder what such a world of knowing will grant and afford us.

To you, my bearers of Light…

On Kundalini Syndrome

I began hearing about this condition called Kundalini Syndrome a number of years ago, and its a curious thing.  I think there is a problem with it.  A biggie.  And its really all about perception and reaction.  I say this as someone who has had his butt kicked by kundalini but remained in the game and bid it to rise higher because I knew it was the source of my inner transformation: “Come and get me….yes I am scared to death of you, but I also know you are my salvation….I KNOW it….so come and get me, kundalini!”  And it would.  In spades.  I made it through ego death (a term I DO NOT like btw) and the release of thousands of things.  I made it and so can you.  I am still me.  I did not die.  I was turned into a better version of me.  Sure enough.  And if you are going through the harder stage of awakening, sit down and bear up with this reminder I have for you….

 

Most everyone who has endured the “fires” of kundalini, and while its been a challenge, it has made those going through it better people in the end.  The human race is absolutely neurotic and covered-over in sickness….did you think you were somehow immune to this?  Oh please, spare me.  EVERYONE here is here because…well…..neurosis.  And this is a great place to rid yourself of it.  

Maybe that kind of honesty doesn’t sit well with you.  I am sorry.  What do you want?  Sugar-coated BS?  There is so much on the other side of all of this that is waiting for you and it is fabulous.  Cosmic.  Your mind, blooming.  Your creativity, exploding.  Insight, expansive.

The people who who write about kundalini syndrome as a thing treat it as though it is a dysfunction, as though Kundalini is something that is not a good thing.  On the El Collie site, for example, the description of kundalini syndrome is the same as the symptoms of kundalini itself.  So here we are with a condition that is natural, albeit rare, that is healing people by untangling years of psychotic behavior and the force that is driving it is seen as a bad thing.  A dysfunction.  An “emergency” rather than “emergence.”  If El Collie suffered through this for years, maybe it was because of her own inner resistance, not because kundalini was a bad thing in and of itself.  When I look at my life up to awakening, I have to say I was on the way to it.  It was a logical next step for me.  In fact, what triggered my awakening was partly due to my asking, “Is this all there is?”  I knew that it wasn’t.  Even as I was surprised by kundalini, I must say that it has been a constant answering to the larger ontological questions we all tend to ask ourselves and ask of the universe: is this all there is?  What is my purpose?  What is the meaning of life?  Without so much as needing a belief or religion, you can feel the vibrant force of this filling you and “telling” you of the purpose that all existence has beyond mere time and space.  If you know how to do it, it can take you to those places and show you how you have been here many times and that all of this birthing and dying, its part of a larger story….an infinite story….an amazing story that you can access in all-time.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

One thing that other sites mention is how using chakra clearing as a path to awakening is not advised.  It has been noted that it can lead to psychotic behavior.  I found this very interesting because someone I knew personally who used this method to awaken exhibited a whole range of psychosis (although I suspect these were already present for years previously).  So yes on chakra clearing exercises and psychosis. But understand the mechanics behind it and perhaps use this to understand it a little better: it causes problems because it is so effective a method for clearing blocked inner material. This is precisely what awakening does. The takeaway here that I hope you appreciate is that it moves you very quickly, perhaps too quickly, out of your comfort zone. And I ask you, what is your comfort zone? Is it perhaps a vast backlog of notions and beliefs about yourself and the world that have served to limit your awareness of who you are? The psychosis only comes from our own built-in resistance from the change that is upon us. Having said this, I do feel compassion with the uncertainty that can be felt in the early stages of awakening. I was there, at least initially, and I do have to remind myself daily that whatever resistance that I feel, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, is showing me the walls I have still yet to remove in order that I can return to my own state of origin. 

Kundalini is a bit of a one-way street.  It does not care whether you want off the bus.  It does not care about your excuses.  Nor your seemingly fragile state.  It will do what it must to return you to clear-eyed honesty about yourself.  No more bullshit. And the path to this is direct and its through radical self-honesty.  Lie to yourself or others, and this force will kick your butt…..not as a punishment, but because you are now operating in a higher vibrational frequency and anything that does not align will be extremely difficult for you to continue with. The old way of being simply does not work.  Heal.  Open.  Surrender.  These are the words of the day.  No longer does the mask of your previous life work.  The moment of reckoning has come, so there you go. It is best to learn to be the water flowing in the river bed because this is kundalini.  
Be like water, my friend.  In each moment when you feel resistance, just let go; kundalini is trying to teach you something.  You don’t even need to know what it is trying to get you to let go because wherever you feel the resistance will continue until you locate it and release it.  Only the psychotic would hold onto the misalignment and enjoy the pain, right?  That was what you once were, it is what you can no longer handle anymore, am I right?

 

So kundalini psychosis is simply resistance to the kundalini.  Sorry, but you can’t put the genie back into the bottle.  Go ahead and write the story.  Follow the path and let yourself be changed.  Apparently at some deep level your soul is needing this even if your ego is fighting it.  What lies on the other side of this is a bliss so wonderful it will leave you red-faced….

 

I’m sorry, but I feel that life is as you choose to see it.  And this way of seeing kundalini is a sure-fire way to invite suffering.  Why do that?  Kundalini is not something you can bargain with.  If you let go, you will get better.  I promise.  Everyone is letting go of the river’s bank.  We are all letting go.  We are letting that rushing river take us.  Sure, it might be the unknown that scares you, but conquering fear is a pretty big thing, isn’t it?  I mean, do you really think you will lose anything that you don’t already need? The syndrome and the emergency exists in how you are looking at it, reacting to it.  What seems to you like a 600 lb gorilla will turn into a brilliant and wonderful presence that is pure blessing.  This will take some time, so a little trust is in order.

It is asking you to believe in a power larger than you, and that includes you.  It is asking you to see this in a bigger kind of way.  We are way more than just this.  C’mon.  Just let go of that river bank.  Do you think you will sink, that you will drown?  Do you really?
This is asking you to reach across a gulf, a cognitive gap, to discover something more that you are…something you have always been. It is a step into the light, the truth, and out of the error that has left us limited in the past. The power that this has is located in being present. The less you fall for the past, the closer you are to the present and more capable of moving in a positive way into the future. Awakening is calling each of us to know who we are.

That Parasite

Note:  The art of entity removal was known by the ancients and aboriginal peoples as an important step towards an integrated and healthy self. It is also important in the midst of an awakening, which is currently happening on our planet to people at a blistering pace now.  Awakening, my dear reader, is just the beginning…

While the methods are shrouded in mystery, the truth is, it  isn’t hard to do.  Having said this, though, I will also say that those who remove them do  need a few prerequisites that are in our day not learned.  Huh?  I know that may not have made any sense to you.  Especially those of you who think that this stuff is, like, in a book (chortle). These abilities are assumed, they come about as part and parcel of a certain level of awareness, and this awareness is not in ordinary consciousness.  This is what makes the issue of entity removal seem so mysterious and hush hush.  Once you reach the requisite level, you not only begin to be aware of them, but you have something within you that can remove them.  This is a shift in consciousness, and it is the very character, the pitch and quality of the energy that is the very force that makes the removal possible.  I know this because it happened to me, and I am a careful observer and because I could pass this awareness on to you.  I am here to report a little about it here in this post….not so much how to remove entities (because you have to be careful in this work) but what the advantages are to their removal.

 

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It just continues to rear its ugly head…the reality of entities enmeshed in human fields.

Look, if you want to make your awakening easier, what is popularly called “ascension” then getting a grip on these beings is job one.
It isn’t difficult if you do it right. It can be very simple.

If you go about it the wrong way, without awareness, then you can cause yourself a lot of trouble. I was there and removed an entity from someone early in awakening. Yes, totally successful, but I was unaware of just how extensive the world of these lower-level beings were. I didn’t even know I was dealing with kundalini at the time, I just thought that I was picking up on another person’s entity because I was there to remove it. I did, but I also was early into the process and was attracting a lot of these things at the time. It resulted in what I can only describe as a kind of boiling point where a guide had to help me clear my field.  Buyer beware.  After this experience, I decided that I would not presume to remove any entity from anyone because, as I later learned, this is a process that is possible with the person who has them.  It serves as an important step in their development.  When the healer is removing them, the person being healed is acting as healer. Often, people need to have the right trigger to get them into the Dream.  This dream is the spell of belief.  It is just how it works.  Human beings are not fully aware yet of their capacities in the healing department, so dream or belief becomes a very effective trigger.  No?  Ask any healer is they really are the healer, or whether they serve as a catalyst for the person to find the healing within them?  Jesus said “Your faith made you whole” when a man felt he had been healed by Jesus.

It is true that without entity removal, you continue through awakening with influences that continue to cause you all sorts of problems.

Most entities attach to humans based on the emotions out of which they were created. These beings, I have observed, are often personality fragments that have been propelled from people through periods of change and even healing moments. Sometimes, instead of a person integrating a part of itself, it is cleaved away. If this happens with a part of itself that is “large” enough, a fragment results, an autonomous form of consciousness that can be both attracted and repelled by its creator. It goes it’s own way and is drawn to emotions in others that are like itself. It thus finds a home, a place that feels familiar to them. And really, this is the nature of all of life, which is the creation of these alliances. Your body is made up of trillions of such alliances called cells. They each have their own awareness and work for the good of the whole. That’s one end of the spectrum. The other end are less helpful as alliances with bacteria that can make you sick, or viruses. And still, many bacteria are also beneficial. They are drawn by a favorable environment. The same is true for entities of every sort.

Entities can follow a person through multiple lifetimes. I know that when I observed these entities etherically that it’s host has described the entity in precisely the same way that I saw them. This was made possible by the quantum leap in my perception as a result of awakening.

I have seen these entities come forward in people when they get angry, or feel jealous, afraid, or any number of emotions. We often think of them as feeding and think of them as parasites. What I have seen, though, is that these things are there because of something not yet healed in the individual. Many many people in the midst of awakening carry these for years and never realize how they are holding them back. Most are aware that they are there, but they do not appear to know what to do about them. What I notice is that most people don’t actually want them gone. It’s much easier to remain in the drama than to find an important level of peace in awakening. Our neurosis does not get solved immediately when awakening comes. But it’s more possible to remove these entities than ever once the “light” comes.

The early Christians, beginning with Jesus, were on to this issue in a big way. In a lesser-known series of books discovered in 1945 we have found in them Jesus teaching his followers about them. In the better-known books in the King James Version, there are numerous accounts of Jesus casting out these “unclean” spirits.
The Nag Hammad codices to which I refer takes awareness of them to a whole other level. The entities Jesus speaks of are more advanced than many lower-formed entities. These beings try to pass themselves off as deities. These beings may well have re-entered our collective story by appearing as a class of E.T’S. They just seem this way, however.
The curious thing is the high number of people who have ET experiences as part of awakening.
My sense has been that some contacts are indeed interdimensional beings simply interested in what’s happening here while others may be creating a false or illusory reality for abductees in precisely the same fashion as the Gnostic texts illustrated thousands of years ago. The short answer is some are real and some are not as they seem. To make it all more curious is how these beings can change appearance as we ourselves change—sometimes very significantly so.Since the ET issue comes up so often in awakening, it’s worth giving it at least a passing glance.

Some people have told me that their entities are guides, protectors, and  power animals. In some of these instances, I was able to see these beings and what they were doing with their host was not what anyone could describe as protective or guiding in anything less than self interest. And it is their own self interest that is the problem.

In one case, with someone I knew, I came under a kind of attack by a being when my awareness began to accelerate and unfold, revealing to me how this entity was connected to me, but also that it was connected to a series of people, and this was a very old and string entity. It appeared to me like a large reptile or dragon-like being. This being was later described in the same way by this person that I had seen it through my inner vision. This being was working through people in the spiritual community who counselled others on awakening and who do healing work as well. When you clear the decks of these influences, it creates a situation where the soul enters into a healing moment unencumbered by outside influences. The greatest healer amongst the Native American groups was always the most healed of the people. This renders a person more neutral, a must for effective healing. Instead, most often, we have unhealed healers…

What do you think you get as a result?

Clearing the decks of these beings is a critical early step in the healing process.

When you do, the issues that these beings help to reinforce goes away. Healing accelerates. These beings can hold up healing of blocks that represent karma because of the aspects of us that they are drawn to.
After my first removal from my friend, I decided that I would never remove them again until I was free from the beings that were connected to me. When I had the beings removed from me, it was done through a very simple act of awareness. A healer suggested that very soon, I might begin to be aware of these influences. Moments later, my visual field opened up to see my energy field and saw a series of three beings that had been present. They fled like birds being shooed out of an attic space. Easy. Simple.
What did it was simple awareness. No mantras, no special rituals necessary. I think that we only make all of this more complicated than it needs to be. Do you want them gone? Are you ready to heal? If the answer is yes, it will happen.

The Illusion Of Protection

Until you remove the blocks within you, you remain susceptible to outside forces. No amount of protection will work because the law of attraction is based on similar energies attracting one another. An entity can enter and be drawn by one small issue within. You can resist a being, but it’s only a matter of time before it returns or is replaced by something very similar.
So search yourself. If you feel as though there is an outside influence acting on you, the simplest way to know more is to observe what it does. If it’s an entity that feeds on anger, then you know exactly where your wound is. If it’s an entity feeding on your sexual energy, then you have a clear view into your own unhealed state. Clean that up and the entity falls away. There is simply no vibration to hold onto by the entity. Your own vibration changes so that the entity cannot see or detect you because the vibration that was the same in the entity is gone.

It really is that simple. Don’t get tripped up by an entity, just deal with you and the rest will take care of itself. Most often, in a negative way, people become fascinated by the beings that are causing them grief or trouble. Search yourself: is some part of you unfinished on a given issue surrounding an entity issue? When you are ready, it simply goes. It’s just that simple.

Trauma Release & Awakening

Last month, I promised readers that I would share methods that I have found effective in releasing stored trauma. To do this will mean that I will have to break the larger method up into smaller bite-sized chunks since the overall system is enough to fill a book. For now, these are the basics of one important method for you to use in your own work at home.

First Things First

By now you probably know that you not only have a body, but you also have an energetic template that meshes perfectly with your body that allows your consciousness to focus itself in the physical body.
The soul, which is beyond the time construct, lives in time as a focus courtesy of the projection it creates that allows it to mesh with the physical body. This projection is like a series of nonphysical bodies that allow for a broad range of experience and expression to occur. These bodies are in truth aspects of a still larger awareness, bodies that each deal with different aspects of experience.  The ancients described these bodies as the mental body, the emotional body, the karmic body, the pranic of light body, and so on.

The light body is one important interface between the physical and nonphysical. It is itself not physical, but can manipulate and create with energy that also happens to stimulate and guide the endocrine system, which are the glands that help stimulate healing and govern emotional well being.  This energy changes form depending on how it’s needed. Most of the time we are all so enmeshed in what’s happening that this reality escapes us. In the body this energy is most often experienced as prana or chi (qi) and we are most aware of it during contemplation and healing work. This is but one state of the energy because energy can become anything when consciousness is in the process of creating with it. So that’s the baseline.

The big challenge for most who slumber, unawakened, and even those who are awake, is how this template,  that is a projection that focuses us in the body, can become cluttered with thought forms. These serve to disrupt a clearer flow of awareness from soul to body and from soul to all the different parts of the self (intellect, reason, id, ego, emotions, feelings/beliefs, etc.).
Clearing the blocks that exist serves to bring us closer to the light of our souls and the kingdom that is within each of us. Maybe that sounds like woo-woo to you, but is precisely what it does. Welcome to the next world, folks.  When you can dissolve these blocks, which are made up of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that serve to, in some way,  limit and divide you from yourself, the pathway or channel to the awakened state can more easily emerge. This is precisely what kundalini yoga, pranayama yoga, and all other yogas seek to do, which is to help clear the light body of these old conflicts expressed as blocked energy. They are called blocks because if you do not clear them before awakening, when the energy of prana (kundalini) does move, it is like bringing your baggage into a wind tunnel.

The act of awakening, itself, is a substantive union of opposites in consciousness, which IS this energetic flow. It is being triggered naturally in many people who often unwittingly remove enough divisive psychological material so that the energy appears to “rise.” There are numerous ways that this union of self begins, but it always revolves around an act or event that catalyzes a reduction in inner division of one kind or another.

What I have developed is a master method (made up of a series of methods used together) which is at its root similar to the same goals that yogic traditions such as pranayam and kundalini yoga have which is clearing the nonphysical pathways (called and nadi and also meridians in the Indian and Chinese systems, respectively) to make the presence of awakening easier or smoother.

The first method that I will describe to you appears to be much more effective at cleansing the light body of blocks than the eastern methods have been, at least for the average person. Those currently using this method do not know that this can be an important first step to awakening (which is as it should be). This is one case where a contemporary method trumps a thousands’ year set of yogic methods or tradition. If you haven’t caught on to it yet, my hope in developing this system is to provide an effective and efficient means to clear stored material that is holding the majority of humanity in a certain level of consciousness.

The idea that awakening is only for the special chosen few sounds preposterous and the height of arrogance to me. This is each of our birth right to know this level of awareness, and it’s emergence in this time is critical for our survival.. Further, the race needs this as a whole if we are to keep a balance with the pace that technology is taking in its development. We must, I feel, learn to extend our reach and improve our grasp as humans so that neither exceeds the capacity of the other (thank-you, Nicola Tesla).

Understand that when you are dealing with old systems from other cultures, you can wind up with inefficiencies as well as cultural biases and beliefs that can limit experience for all who follow them. To start with, many gurus in India operate under the belief that you cannot awaken without a guru or that anything you try without a guru will be wrong (I’m paraphrasing an Indian guru who writes on WordPress, so this is not an exaggeration). Obviously, we know that this is not correct because of the thousands of us who have awakened without yoga or a practice, let alone a guru. Having others more experienced around you is helpful, but it’s not a must. You simply have to be clear enough to hear your own soul communicating to you amidst the remaining static from the “baggage” remaining.

One class of blockage that occurs in the light body is stored trauma. This can be just about anything. Your birth may have been traumatic. Someone disciplining you for the first time as a child using a stern voice may have felt traumatic. Whenever we encounter something that causes us to resist feeling it, this becomes a stored experience. In fact, the experience doesn’t need to be that bad; if there is enough belief that it’s terrible or bad, the block is stored. This, by the way, is what many people wind up experiencing in awakenings where they might struggle for days, weeks, or even years (yes years!) with a stored block only to find that it was itself built entirely on a misperception or belief about how they viewed an event in the past. These are what I call, in my own work, “the mouse that roars.” That is, it was never so big than it was in our own belief or thoughts about it.

The effect of releasing this stored material is that you can see the world as it really is to the degree that you release this overburden of material within.

Without it, life is being viewed in much the same way as my pinhole camera picture only reveals a limited and distorted view of what we each think we are and what our existence is. I have had a front row seat to see how this lack of awareness manifests in people through an inability to see how their actions bring drama and cause harm, or how their inability to be honest limits their lives and hurts those they claim to love. So blinded are these people they cannot see that they are hurting others…and they wonder why their lives are a mess. It winds up being the fault of others so long as these people remain in the trap of their own trauma, unable to look at themselves honestly and have that “come to Jesus” moment which is so important for undoing years of junk. What I’m proposing will help to release this burden immediately and can be put into use on a daily or weekly basis to eliminate the material that blinds and binds us.

The wonderful thing about this work is that you have a “get out of jail free” card that comes in the form of a series of somatic exercises that allows you to bypass the trauma and effectively toss it to the curb without so much as dirtying your hands. While there may be a few instances where encountering a block directly could prove effective in its release, the vast majority can simply be let go. Your conscious mind does not always need to know the contents of your subconscious in order to let things go; it only needs to be willing to participate in letting it all go so that it can set its sights on a future that is brighter and not bearing the limits that these blocks put on the self and it’s awareness of the soul.

That said; a background on the method….

Most mammals share a triadic coping mechanism for dealing with stress and trauma. Humans, however, do not share this mechanism in the same way as animals in the wild do. When animals experience severe trauma their nervous system instigates a coping mechanism that takes the form of nervous shaking immediately following a traumatic experience. Researchers have found that this helps release the emotional energy and keeps it from being stored.

Normally the coping mechanisms humans have are fight, flee, or freeze when a traumatic experience comes our way. Most often we freeze. When we do this, we are actively storing the energy we are feeling, and this energy is not stored in the brain, it’s shoved aside, annexed, to reside in the body.

That last statement is something of a stumbling block for some people because as Westerners, we have been taught to believe that all past experience resides in the brain. But what the ancients have observed for thousands of years, modern psychological and neuroanatomy research is only just beginning to recognize. What we are slowly catching on to is that the body has a capacity for storing memory, and thus far, it appears to be emotionally-based memory.

My research has led me to find, based on the urgings of my higher self in meditation, the clues about how this is so. When I was writing a section in my manuscript about methods for assisting the clarifying effect that awakenings have in regards to these blocks, I had a series of synchronicity events where an important method fell into my lap three times over the span of two days. This unusual discovery led me on a hunt to find supporting evidence for why we store memory in this way, and how we can release it.

This hunt led me to two important clues to the body’s connection with memory, which is that the body has neurons located all through it (and you thought neurons were just in the brain!) as well as research that shows that memory is stored in organs such as the liver, kidney, and heart.

The research that is being done in the arena of organs storing memory has to do with the curious capacity donor organs have to transfer memory and personality traits to those receiving the donated organ. Bear in mind that nearly all organ donation is done anonymously so as to protect the family members of the donor from unwanted intrusion from strangers receiving the organs.

Notable cases involve a murder that was solved because the child who received the organ began having dreams that revealed the last things the donor saw before their death (which included the name and description of the murderer). One recipient was able to locate her donor’s obituary, and another had both her sexual orientation change to the choice of her donor as well as her food preferences (going from lesbian to straight, and vegetarian to meat-eating).The research in this area is fascinating, and I feel is helping to show how it is that emotional memory is being stored.
This research has become a substantive body of work which I wrote about on this blog several years ago and will add the link to at the end of this article so you can see for yourself.

By finding the most effective way of mimicking what the animals do to release trauma, you can begin digging down into your own body to release this overburden that every human on the earth lives with but is largely unaware of.

The Method

Position yourself on a comfortable surface such as a yoga mat or firm flat futon, lying on your back. You can support the base of your spine by rolling up a towel or firm pillow to raise you bottom up into the air about four to eight inches if you want. Begin to relax by breathing slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth until you find yourself feeling like you have made the transition to a more relaxed state. This step is necessary for all that follows.
Let yourself sink into a relaxed and quiet state where your busy mind slows down. Imagine floating down a lazy river with the warm sun beating down on your skin; you feel like you don’t have a worry in the world. Keep breathing nice and deep so you can relax deeply, too.

Now, with your feet flat on the floor, raise your buttocks upwards so that your feet and legs are supporting most of the weight of your body on them. Your feet might curve to rest more on the balls of your feet for support. You only need to lift your body up a few inches. Support yourself in this way until you begin to feel your legs shaking. This is essentially an effort to fatique muscles so you shake. This may take some time to achieve. Also, you can induce mild trembling to strong shaking, and this works just as well.
Most often, you will feel like you should reposition yourself in order to stop shaking, but with this method you need to stay with the shaking for enough time that it can do its work, which is to begin to release stored material.If you center weight on your legs, you can eleviate any stress to the lower back muscles in the event that you have a history with lower back problems.

Do this exercise for as long as you are comfortable, with repetitions of a few minutes each, with up to three to five minutes being optimal if you can do it for this length of time.  Fifteen minutes at a time is optimal. Once the shaking begins, it is enough to stir you and begin to release material.

You want to avoid physical strain and remain in the “sweet spot” of shaking for at least several minutes at a time or as long as you are physically comfortable doing so. Mammals in the wild shake an average of fifteen minutes.Just follow your own comfort level. The shaking is the thing.

As you do this, increasingly find your breathing going into your lower diaphragm and begin to open the lower solar plexus up by breathing this way. As you are shaking, you might feel emotions rising to the surface. When you breathe, give those emotions a voice in simple ways. It could be gutteral, it could be something different, but let whatever emotion rises be given a voice. Instead of going deep into the emotion, you are helping to release it, to let it express and then go. Don’t let yourself feel self-conscious if you can help it; this is a path to positive self care, so let yourself explore this area. Don’t censor yourself; this is all about acknowledging the feeling in order to let it go. This is different from marinating in the feeling.
To get deep into how trauma is stored, it’s useful to understand some of the muscles involved and their proximity to the more emotionally charged energy centers of solar plexus, sacral, and root chakras.

The set of muscles you are using that causes most of she shaking are the legs and an area of the pelvis that is situated in your hips The interesting thing here is that it is this region of the body where a lot of our earliest trauma can be stored from childhood.this is where the solar plexus ends, the sacral begins, and the root is close by. This exercise helps to clear this region most effectively and is being used to treat PTSD.

Another posture is possible if lying on your back doesn’t work for you. This position is done while standing.

Position yourself so that your back is against a wall, and then slide down from a standing position to one that is just above the position that you have when sitting in a chair. This posture is meant to fatigue your legs and hips so that you begin to shake or tremble. When you do both of these methods correctly, you will feel like you are getting a real work out both physically and emotionally!

One big plus for doing release work of this kind is that your physiological reactions to stress and anxiety can change significantly for the better by removing the root cause of the stress, anxiety, or depression to begin with. If you have been on antianxiety medication, this could be a great way to finally reduce the load of stress or anxiety so that the medication might not be needed (since it is possible to release the store trauma that may have been causing the condition to begin with).

Sometimes it can be helpful to have someone with you whom you trust who can sit with your head in their lap as they cradle your head and help to let you know that everything is going to be okay. You have been suppressing these emotions and it’s not unusual to feel vulnerable when they bubble up. Very often, you won’t know what these emotions are tied to, but letting them bubble up releases them for all time.

Another benefit to this method is that once you release something, you will feel a measure of relief and clarity. If it’s a block that is central to many of your problems that you have in life, the bad feelings surrounding this will go away and you will feel like a new person where this old issue is concerned. I describe this experience as erasing an old program in my subconscious that has been running on its own on auto pilot for years, giving me all kinds of grief. Once it’s gone, the fear or anger or stuck feeling is gone as well. Just like that.

This method is the least invasive of any method I can think of for releasing stored emotional material. It is important to not resist whatever comes up. It was resistance that stored the material in the first place, and no matter how bad you think a feeling might be, your acceptance will always be the key that allows you to cope with just about anything. Once you do, it will be gone, and it will only be a dim memory within a matter of days. You will have shifted your own probable time line. Sounds like a big deal, but we do this with every decision that we make.

It is worth mentioning that other methods that achieve the same result often work with moving the body. In the practice of pranayam, pumping the stomach is a method that gets close to the shaking in the body that this method achieves. Chi Gong is a body movement method that works with the human energy field by using energy and body movement together to stir and release blocks. But for sheer speed and efficiency, the leg shaking method can’t be beat.

If you find that you can’t do the leg shaking method I have just described, I will be including more of the methods that go to make up  the “master method” which are a constellation of exercises and therapies designed to clear blocked material fast.

One very simple way to feel whether you are healed in a given issue or area is to simply gauge how you  feel about something. Are you resisting it?  When you feel yourself needing to pull away from something to keep from feeling it, there is something not yet healed. The Zen concept of “Zero” which is often called today as the “Zero Point” is what happens when pent up material is released. Healing happens when you reach neutrality, which is a deep state of balance which is achieved block by released block.
Now I have an admission to make: I was not altogether truthful about the number of coping mechanisms that we have available to us. I recalled that they were fight, flight, and freeze. To be truthful, there is another “f” word and it’s central to never building trauma to begin with. I promise that I’ll cover this important coping state in my very next post.

So begin trying this method and let me know what your experience is with it. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask. Until next time,  light-bearers…
Link:
http://www.paulpearsall.com/info/press/3.html