Heiros Gamos

Hieros gamos, comes from the Greek hieros (ἱερός) meaning “holy” or “sacred” and gamos (γάμος) meaning marriage, or Hierogamy, which is a “sacred marriage” that plays out between a god and a goddess, and often a ritual played out between two human beings, as man and woman. This term is reflected throughout cultures showing up in alchemy which is Arabic in its root but which have other roots in China and is explicit in Hindu yogic practice and can find threads in Tantra. Additionally, in my own journey I found that this same practice was at play in ancient Babylon for instance. But what did I know of Babylon, really? Very little. So I dug into it and found that yes, the culture was rich with this heirodouloi as it is called in the Assyrian. It has a number of inventions down through time that eventually centers around a shepherd king Demuzzi and his consort Innana in later periods.

The hieros gamos as a royal ritual is the creation of early city-states built on the wealth provided by agriculture. Far from putting an end to the “primitive” village cults, they expanded and stylized them with forms that were derived from, and were variations of, earlier symbolism. One of these is the sexual union of the king and a “priestess” as an episode in the lengthy Babylonian Akitu (New Year) festival. The model for this rite is already given in Sumerian myths and temple customs. It is true that existing knowledge of religious practices among the common people of the ancient Mesopotamian world is inadequate, but it is known that in this world the main ritual procedures for the entire populace were carried out through the mediation of rulers and religious specialists of various kinds. Around 2100 bce King Gudea had a temple built for the god Ningirsu. Among the rites performed in the new temple was the sacred wedding ceremony of the god and his consort Baba, lasting seven days. Apparently such a marriage was an expected part in the liturgy for each one of the important deities already present in Sumerian culture, as it was later in Babylonian cults, and still later throughout Assyrian and also West Semitic cults.

https://www.encyclopedia.com/environment/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/hieros-gamos

In Western regions of Europe the concept of a god and goddess go way back to earliest antiquity. The Arthurian legend was itself likely an echo of this same concept, but leaving out the goddess, instead the king being fed and nourished and made whole once nature was itself also set right (a ghost of the feminine presence most likely-the role of Christian monks who sought to defang the deeper origins of this kind of story). Earlier rites were those performed at Beltane which was said to involve the people involved in sex in the fields. This idea goes way bath to Neolithic times and the idea of nude as well as clothed women imparting fertility to nature as a fixture to some traditions.

It bears mentioning that next to a sexual union between heaven and earth, of the type of Ouranos and Gaia in Hesiod’s Theogony and Dyaus and Prthivi in the Vedic texts, there exists documentation of supreme beings that are often called “bisexual.” Such a being is both one and two, male and female at the same time. Being two in one, divinities of this type are more properly called “androgynous” than “bisexual.” The ancient Mexican supreme being is Ometecuhtli-Omecihuatl (“father-mother”). These will show up in the Gnostic mythos as a teaching tool for how to reach the Christ (more on that later).

In yet another instance I was shown in the early days of my awakening a strange structure by a guide who explained that a large group of people, perhaps, I guessed from the looks of it, a dozen people who were involved in in a ritual in which they stood on a large circular stone with clear incised lines cut into it, resembling something like a pizza. At the time this image which showed up in my inner vision in the Spring of 2008 (and its very short explanation) made little sense to me at the time except for the fact that it involved a group who had merged ritually and spiritually into what I thought was the stone itself. This was something that was akin to a very oblique reference to something that I would then see later, a kind of cosmic breadcrumb having to do with how souls move into a deep form of relationship (my guide said nothing about how it might show up later which is something of a hallmark of his that may have to do with not wanting to spoil the discovery or to make me too expectant of the outcome, which seems to always involve the element of surprise). Then, over a decade later, I would see this very object in a documentary on treasure of the Dacian Kingdom who once ruled in an area now known as Romania (being overtaken by Rome in the first century C.E.). After seeing the ritual complex where this stone was lain I had a flood of memories that involved someone who I know today. While details were little on this memory, it seems that I was one of the people, ten total, who engaged in a ritual of union that as best as I can tell was done in order to unite the regional chiefs and their spiritual consorts, which would amount to priestesses who had been prepared for this role. My hope is that more memories surrounding this life will emerge in time since so little is known about these people (Constantine does show the same hats that the Dacians were shown to wear on his Arch which sits adjacent to the Colosseum in Rome which are also the same hats that the Magi wear in the earliest depictions of them). This particular form as it appears in the photo below doesn’t show up in any other ritual complex anywhere in the ancient world. Because of how remote the region was where the Dacians lived, it is likely that while they did get around through trade they were able to develop their own rituals as they saw fit, and this form, as unusual as it is, was one of them. If you look at it you will see that there is a walkway to the platform where one single person could walk, in line, one at a time. Sometimes I do wonder whether this was the origin of the concept of the round table, and if not, then how coincidental it is in its use.

Everywhere and everywhen there was this effort to connect humans with the gods and goddesses, to establish a link to a higher or more expansive sense of existence. Pharaohs did this, insisting that they were descended of the gods. Kings and Queens in Europe had their “divine right” which was another nod to the magic of the divine realm and their unique connection to it. Over and over, rituals exist that help to cement this notion while also helping to aggregate and cement the power of ancient leaders. While this in many ways became institutionalized through the royal lines, the truth has always been that the higher self exists within each person and this divine line can be traced back through the soul in every person. Even the death of Jesus, which was more pagan than Judaic, has echos of how the death of the god, the shedding of his blood will renew the land, or in this case, the souls of his followers. One receives the special divine juice through their connection with the man who also is a god as well. In many ways the Christian god-man is out of place as a Judaic invention, for it does not exist anywhere in their tradition but instead does exist within Roman myth. Romulus (750 BC), the founder of Rome was himself born of a virgin and on the last day of his life, ascended into heaven. He returned three days later to explain why he had disappeared in the midst of a storm. Very pagan. Always was. Ezekiel 8:14 is one of the texts in the tradition of Israel that strongly opposed most of the religious customs connected with the hieros gamos; it tells of women who (ritually) bewailed the fate of Tammuz (Dumuzi) at the gates of the temple.

In Babylonian religion, the rule of the supreme god Marduk, just like that of his divine partner Ishtar (the Akkadian name of Inanna), is not limited to one area. Although the goddess’s myth shows her as not altogether successful in her journey to the netherworld, she does return and her rule is emphatically presented as universal. In contrast, in the earliest myths, Dumuzi remains associated with pastoral life, and the impression is given that rule on earth has its limits; this same impression is also given in later times. Such rule, however, must have its basis in the hieros gamos.

That the certainty of rule over the land and its well-being is of the utmost concern is borne out by the king’s determination of destiny. Just as the god Marduk’s rule was established when he received the “tablets of fate” (in the Enuma elish), the king shows himself as king in fixing the rules and regulations that keep the universe functioning properly. The ritual by which he does so is complex, but it is related to the Akitu festival, and the sacred marriage itself is to be regarded as a “third form for the determination of destiny” (Pallis, 1926). Clearly, the union with the goddess is of paramount importance for rule on earth.

Priestess in Egypt were said to have intercourse with men in an effort to educate them about how to cultivate their own inner power. For this they were called temple prostitutes, sadly (but it is possible that in their day they were in fact revered for their work helping to ‘wed heaven to earth’ with the pejorative term coming along later by those who didn’t understand the ritual or the importance of the work as is so often the case with the “great unwashed”). In one instance, I had a memory of watching an initiation ritual whereby women assembled in a darkened room who were presented with a presence that whipped through the room which had the look of a spiritual fire that moved into each priestess in turn. This energy elevated the priestesses to a new consciousness. What I was witnessing, I suspected, was their union with the sun god Ra since the presence presented as masculine energy (again, a balancing of energies). While this could be attributed to a flight of fancy, two other people observed something similar to what I saw, and then many years later I read an account of a woman who had been regressed to a life in Egypt where she described the same thing I had seen two decades prior (everyone lined up facing a large black wall with these small slots cut in them and this was where the presence of the god came). In this case, instead of union with the god in human form, these women had a direct line to some source energy that was made active or through which they were made aware (perhaps through years of training). By being in touch with the god they were also in touch with the goddess (as physical representatives on earth). It was through the interplay of these two energies that one became aware of the greater reality of the creative at a cosmological level. Numerous cultures saw this union as a way of helping with the crops and also balancing events in the world for favor from the gods.

I think that the culture that got these concepts in their most egalitarian strands are found in Mahayana Buddhism where the grace of the feminine and her love serves as the bridge to the divine, but also in how the divine union is seen as the two in one (as exemplified in the Mayan god-goddess mentioned earlier), which is an androgyne, which is similar to the early Christian Gnostics who wrote of the syzygy, the result of innermost union of the two opposites which they saw as feminine and masculine within us all. Out of this union, they insisted, flowed the Christ consciousness, and it was through their both ritual and inner practices that they managed to reach this deeper realization (which the works clearly show). This also shows up in alchemy quite clearly most notably in the book The Chymical Marriage. All of this has captured the imaginations of those who are “twins” of the soul as twin souls or twin flames. Numerous other myths are tapped by them giving them the sense of antiquity and legitimacy (which tends to gloss over the real reason for the connective, which is to date, always karma).

My observation from the beginning of all of this (awakening via kundalini) has been that physiologically these opposites are rooted in our neurophysiology of the left and right brains. Far from masculine or feminine, they are enough of opposites like man and woman that people try to wrap mythologies around them as we have done for centuries in the form of “divine masculine” and “divine feminine.” The truth lies deeper still and represents an end to this duality in favor of the realization of who we are in these vehicles of flesh on an adventure both in body as well as in mind. I think that the myth isn’t necessary in order to understand the forces at play and to understand ones relationship to the universe, but we do love our myths! It is my sense that the beginning of enlightenment involves understanding things as they are, and while the mythos of the divine pair continues to be all the rage it wont be alla mode to consider what is really at work under the skin. I think that if people did pull back the curtain on this, it would instead reveal truths that most are unwilling normally to see or acknowledge. It will however in my estimation reveal how we are built for divine union and that this is all an inside job. And who do we find when we go there? At first it is like a God but as the experience matures we find paradoxically that the seed that is “God” (take your pick which one) was always inside of you and that when the union happens in its fullness no one will be able to discern where the God ends and the human begins, and here is one important clue about our relationship with the divine (which many are loathe to admit). In this is the secret, which most regard as a mystery (until it is known). Yes, the sky will light in sacred flames as the last of the sacred cows goes up in flames. Our myths are themselves like rafts that get us across conceptual hurdles which are then destroyed once we get to the deeper truth seeded within them. And what then? A sweet silence, and in that silence the secret of all creation which is that the opposites never were opposite but were always one….just as we all are one. And yet, we go about it all wanting to make it out to be more than it is through the clever trick of myth-making. It is more than the myth, but it has always been that. When we grasp, though, we invariably reach a corpse. Look not to your conceptions but consider that those have always been projections of consciousness which in its most limited of ways, shows us imperfectly the way, perhaps like how a metaphor helps us to see the truth, not directly, but by way of something else. We usually wind up worshipping the metaphor instead of something else. So what else is left?

If you must still play at the gamos game then recognize that you have everything that you need inside of you.ere the light of your awareness joins with another light, different from you and yet seeded with the same truth as you. It is possible though that in so doing you can also rob the relationship of its polarized charge (but also put to an end the war of the sexes in a traditional female/male relationship). It is possible though to attain to a still greater light if those so engaged are brave enough to travel to the next greater height (where there is still another greater summit and so on endlessly). This is the hardest one to get, for it involves what the ancients called “righteousness” (alignment with the divine will). As this unfolds, or blooms, karma is shed and the desire resolves into greater and greater levels of bliss which itself turns to a stillness with supreme fecundity, not unlike the notion of the Tao, which exists in such stillness and yet brings all into being. This is the essence or core of the supreme consciousness. Like a frozen explosion, ever expanding but without expansion, a grand paradox lying at the heart of all creative energy. It is the primordial seed lying within each of us. The primary union always is inside of us, and when we place such importance on the outward expression, it will always fall short because how poorly our expectations are usually constructed. And yet, even in them lie the seeds of greater realization.

These highly ritualized forms of inner knowledge which come to us from antiquity serve to show us that we have been aware of certain elements in our consciousness which became codified as a feminine and masculine dynamic, a quality that existed in each person most certainly, but got played out in grand rituals of union. These unions, I insist reflect a folk-ways understanding of qualities that can lead us to an enlightened state, and with our knowledge of our neurophysiology we can begin to see the source of this material. By doing so this does not lessen the power of these forces that are within us all, but instead helps us to fashion ways to get at this duality that is brought into greater unity, with the reward being the enlightened state. Some traditions described this union within in more direct terms, but still dressed in imagery and belief. Without a clear understanding that this may have all arose as a result of a union of left and right brain mediated by meditation practices whereby the habitual need to rely on one hemisphere over the other was overcome in order for a deep and abiding unity within to be known. This unity was itself transformative, resulting in a changed person and a renewed consciousness. This isn’t to say that the old rituals didn’t work, for they were likely close enough that they did the job, but our knowledge and understanding does evolve and now we can see how all of this served to advance consciousness albeit in a somewhat elitist fashion, and is now something available to all people if they are willing to do the work. Yes, sacred cows will evaporate, ideas will change, and certain mythologies will be seen for what they are, but in so doing we can begin to face who we are in order to better understand how to bring greater change on the Earth. This transformation of consciousness has the power to improve our world because when everything is seen as One, we naturally want to preserve and care for that unity as though it is ourselves, which it certainly is.

Post Script: It is useful to recognize that in nearly all traditions that have detailed explanations of the enlightened state that there is always an acknowledgement of a union of opposites within the person who experiences this state. These opposites are described in various ways but often tend toward a masculine and feminine quality. This is true in the Indian schools of thought most notably when describing kundalini as a masculine and feminine (solar or lunar) force that merges together from two energetic channels called the ida and pengali into the central channel where the effulgent experience of cosmic mind happens: the shushumna nadi or channel. Here in the central channel, the deeper and more accelerated state is known and it is in this place in consciousness that the two are not seen as separate as all duality has merged into a oneness of being and awareness. Likewise, in the gnostic texts of early Christianity they describe how two opposites merge into a new unity which they describe as a divine syzygy, which is often referred to as an androgynous state. Additionally, in the writings of the European alchemists they describe and chart out the progress to an ascended state as the mixing of masculine and feminine qualities in consciousness until it births a new form of consciousness, which is dependent on the synthesis of these two opposites. This has always been an inside job and the union of opposites always happens within consciousness. For all the talk of the divine feminine and the divine masculine, the real union happens in a personal way before the light of a greater awareness is known. This doesn’t stop people from ritualizing this union by working out the story or process between women and men throughout history. it is an important nod toward understanding the first principles of this larger realm of awareness. These ritualized methods can misdirect the mind to a certain extent if the person takes things literally. At the same time, it can also serve to bring the horse to the water, too.

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The Dacian Empire Revisited

A couple of years ago I wrote a post about a very unusual discovery that took place involving a documentary released in 2020, a conversation with a guide in 2008 and a past life memory that emerged as a result of the confluence of these events.

In 2020 I saw a documentary entitled The Hunt For Transylvanian Gold. It was streaming on Prime, and had made the rounds on Netflix too. In one very short scene there was shown the ruins of a ceremonial center in present day Romania that had images of a large stone disc that my guide was talking to me about in 2008. It looked exactly like it. It was the same size, same thickness, and had lines cut into it.

I know how that sounds…weird, right? Well, at that time in my life, my awakening had just turned a corner of sorts and I was getting a lot of inner activity with a guide who had seemed to make a return after first emerging back in 1985. As he explained to me, it wasn’t that he was ever absent, but that I wasn’t always able to tune into the range where I could hear him. All of a sudden, I was hearing him loud and clear after my awakening intensified in the wake of questioning what people were saying about aspects of the experience. I always thought that need brought him back, but no, it was the other way around. I had shut down and my ability to hear him seemed to go completely away.

Among the things he was telling me that early April during a walk to the waterfalls near my home here, was an object he made sure to show me. It was a large stone disc, about twenty feet in diameter, that had lines cut into the surface so that it looked like a giant pizza. There were something like 8 to twelve triangular sections. I wasn’t sure of the exact number, but it was easily in that range. My guide was telling me about how this stone had to do with union and that this was related to the work I would be doing in my life. I was walking along deep in thought trying to understand what was being told to me. It seemed that what my guide was showing me was how a group of people had merged and had become part of this stone disc. Huh??

I struggled to understand that one. What was the reason, the point? It was like my guide was trying to explain something to me, and try as I might, I wasn’t getting all of it. I wrote about this in a blog post in 2019 or 2020 when I saw the documentary. In it they showed an image of a disc that was part of a large ceremonial complex. It was uncanny.

The large divided disc in the ceremonial center

It is easy I think to try to make something you have seen fit into a random story line that seems to be a fit, but there is a curious second element which I never connected with this part of Europe that bears mentioning.

Many years ago I read the epic tale by Marion Bradley entitled The Mists Of Avalon. The story is an effort to give the Arthurian legend a more pagan and thus gaian twist, which means Druids and priestesses to whom the Druid priests answered to. In one notable scene, the main character, Morgan, is remembering a past life that involved her warching as Atlantis burned and then sank beneath the waves. That memory was trigerred by being with a man in the story. She could see tattoos of serpents around people’s wrists in blue woad, telling her that this man was a follower of the goddess and the hirned god. The thing that was curious about this was I never saw them as tatoos as I read the book. Instead, I saw them as golden serpents that wrapped around their arms. These serpents “burned” as Bradley wrote, because the serpent power, which was kundalini, was the sacred fire, the grace that inspired people no matter their belief system or their epoch. While Bradley’s story was historical fiction it always felt like she got more right about those days than she may have realized. It is a small detail but it is another one that supports the possibility that I was once with these people called the Dacians. The height of their civilization when these ruins were built was 100 BC to 100 AD.

When I saw the documentary, though, the whole story had me shaking my head in disbelief. There were those gold serpents some 30 years later! Still…maybe I was jumping the gun. Maybe it was all just coincidental. I considered that even as my gut screamed I was on to something from my past.

The Dacian gold serpents

So who were these people? To learn that, I went digging in the Romanian archives.

“The Dacian bracelets were created during a period of great flourishing of the Dacian culture, known in history as the “classical Dacian era” (1st century BC – 1st century AD), in which significant transformations took place at all levels: political, economic, religious and cultural. This fortunate context was greatly influenced by the fact that in the 1st century BC, for a short period of time, King Burebista united under his reign most of the regions inhabited by the Getae and the Dacians into a “great dominion” with borders reaching as far as the geographical area of today’s Slovakia.

“The last great king of Dacia was Decebalus, during whose reign the kingdom became a political, economic and military power again. Located on the border of the Roman Empire, which it had successfully faced in the past, Dacia had become too much of a threat to Rome. Thus, Emperor Trajan decided to eliminate this danger and, following the wars of 101-102 and 105-106, Dacia was conquered and transformed into a Roman province. This is how the “classical Dacian era” ended.“

Statues of Dacians on the Arch of Constantine in Rome

Above: Representations of Dacians on Trajan’s Column. The nobles, the military chieftains, are the ones with their head covered. They were known as tarabostes or pileati. The others, commoners, without head covers, were known as comati. The images are engravings from Pietro Bartoldi’s 17th Century album.

“The political and religious center of Dacia was the great fortress Sarmizegetusa Regia, on Grădiștea Muncelului (almost in the center of today’s Romania), with numerous houses, workshops, warehouses, but also with water supply systems. Near this fortress were several shrines and altars, which formed an impressive Sacred Zone, with walls, stairs, paved roads, canals and other stone arrangements, as we find in the Greek world. In Dacia there were many other cities (called dava), which permanently housed a large population, and which were important centers of craftsmanship and trade, but at the same time central places of political and religious life.

“The royal polyspiral gold bracelets are the most original creations of the Dacian artisans that survived through ages. They were made of Transylvanian gold, beaten in cold and then punched and engraved. The utensils used were wooden and metal hammers, covered with leather, wooden anvils, as well as sets of iron chisels and bronze punches.“

Between 1996 and 2001, the entire Sarmizegetusa Regia area, the last capital of the Dacian Kingdom (inscribed on the list of monuments of humanity in 1999) was targeted by the activities of organized crime groups, which practiced archaeological poaching on a large scale. An exceptionally large number of gold and silver objects were exported illegally. 14 of the 24 bracelets that had originally been spirited out of the country were returned.

A hilltop site belonging to the Dacian culture

The bracelets as they are called, were buried in a number of different locations as caches, we suspect, to keep them safe from an invading army of Romans. With enough leaders lost in battle against Rome it is possible that the gold was forgotten or the location was only known to a few. An article in National Geographic on the subject said that these bracelets were offerings to the gods. I felt myself stiffen when I read that. These pieces were buried in numerous locations away from ceremonial complexes. If, as those at National Geographic insist, that theae were somehow offerings, where is the surrounding supporting structure that ought to exist?

My take is different. They were ceremonial, so they were used. They were power objects in the sense that everyone who used them were focused on the same energetics.

We also have the possibility that the culture practiced ritual union in a ceremonial context and this union was used to help strengthen the culture and to provide meaning for their spiritual practice.

It is also likely that they had developed their spiritual understanding to a significant degree. All of this was prior to the influence of Orthodox Christianity which would seek to convert everyone it could, wiping away any memory of the forces alive in earth and all of life that was tied to recreation, healing, and fertility.

My sense is that these people knew about the interplay of opposites and how awakening played into this. It is also quite likely that these people weren’t as shut down and didn’t suffer from the results of that condition to the degree others did, with less of a “veil” needing to be pulled away. This would make them appear intimidating to the “civilized” Christianized people who came into contact with them because such a state roots you in a very different reality concerning your creaturehood.

This Christianization wouldn’t happen until a few centuries after the Roman soldiers had invaded and took control over the region, though, because it wasn’t until the third and fourth Centuries AD that Christianity was legitimized or made legal (and the state sponsored religion) by Rome. Their conversion would have happened more gradually, first by Rome, then by Christianity. This would be repeated numerous times all over the world. It would happen in South America with the Spanish instead of Rome providing the civillian force to bend the culture when it would appear unseemly for the monks to do so. It would repeat in North America with the empire-in-waiting that began as a confederation of colonies and evolved into a nation that would later act like a new Roman empire (as it does today). It is curious how this pattern developed. Regardless, my sense was that these people, of which so little appears to be known about their spiritual lives, did what all people who live close to the earth do: they brought earth into the equation spiritually and that naturally included the concept of the family unit of the creative duo of feminine and masculine as an engine for creation seen in all things.

The Taoist concept of yin and yang, for instance, naturally gave room for the masculine and feminine together. Christianity did not: it had a god who behaved like a vengeful emperor as any notion of the humanizing effects of the family unit didn’t exist in this later model (present in Judaism but now being adopted by Christianity around this time period). Once seen in the earth as a force, it would be seen in all of life, and might even be seen in the forces that move air and push the earth through space in its travel around the sun.

People like this tended to be aware of the cycles created by the revolution of earth around the sun, even if they didn’t know its true nature in the larger scheme, they did know that the days and years had a specific repeatability to them as the erected standing stones in France and other regions reveal (a stone that is centered so it frames the sun on the winter solstice for instance).

The documentary raises the specter of the gold bracelets as being cursed because so many people experienced negative outcomes while hunting for and seeking to spirit away, the gold out of the country. I am not superstitious, but objects that are used communally can have energy associated with them that appears to have effects on people later who unearth them. In the documentary, which was more about buried treasure and the theft of priceless artworks in gold, the documentary uncovered how one of the discoverers of the location of the gold wound up dying a mysterious death later. The documentary suggested that the objects had a powerful aura about them.

As all of this was shown in the documentary, I found myself bothered, upset even, with images that were emerging spontaneously in my mind. When these happen in this way, my ears prick up. It felt as though I was picking up on another age, a time that came from our legends having to do with a time when there were dwarves and fairy folk….except there were no fairy folk or elves, but there was a time out in the expanse of forest where a people lived who were pagan and who lived close to the earth. And following me around was the pattern that has been present not in all of my lives but many of them: the inner union within consciousness that liberates a bio-psychic energy that reflected that union in the physical world. As many would use their consciousness in a lopsided way, often, I found myself wanting to scratch beneath the surface to this more luminous state I have sensed was there, could be there…..must be there.

An overview of the ceremonial grounds

I have seen a life in Babylon where the leaders of the country participated in ritual fertility rites of heiros gamos. Enough details flooded in that I found myself being able to identify the leader. If you happen to have a life or two that was known to history, being able to identify details from memory that later check out is a pinch-me kind of moment. When I was researching the region where I had lived as a Miwok in California in the 1800’s I found an Army memo describing a raid on their fort by the Indians who lived in and around Yosemite. That memo described a memory I had twenty years earlier to a “T.” There were no other attacks on a fort in that area that were written about in the record. What are the chances?

So it was an unusual pinch-me moment when I met someone who I knew from this life in Romania. It’s easy to secobd guess and doubt, but one thing I have learned is that when you really feel something is right from another life, it probably is. We just think getting to those memories are hard work. They seem that way, but in reality aren’t. If you are like me, you might get a small cluster of memories or impressions but precious little else. Why? Sometimes the bridge to that self isn’t as strong as it could be, some material would prejudice you in regards to a lesson you keep trying to learn and you need “radio silence” in order to solidify the lesson. Sometimes. Some lessons, once learned, are done with. Other lesons are like a seven course meal that is digested in parts.

It all happened effortlessly where I could feel the tug, the pull, the flow of that edge of bliss as I held off going any further. I knew exactly where we had met. Union, and heiros gamos again, a pattern showing that for my higher self, this work is some of the most important I can think of. While the stream of energy is powerful, we have decided to collaborate on a book on the subject of union and awakening. There is a lot out there that seeks to cast this experience as something closer to myth than anything else, and I think it is time someone gives a new perspective. I am not even going to say the “twin” experience isn’t real, but I will instead show how it is related to awakening and the sacred. It’s an exciting prospect especially since the book will be illustrated, which should help to emphasize and enliven the work in peoples’ minds.

Memory of past lives isn’t that hard, but you don’t get there via the rational mind. The feeling side is much more constructive and doesn’t throttle down the intuitive flow. Many things you are interested in now are experienced in other lives. Twice in two lives as a leader I embarked on building projects that included pretty amazing adornment and decoration. Today, I am an artist who makes objects to decorate the home. I am not a king. I also have a strong interest in leadership and good governance. But what I am saying here is your lifetimes often share a lot in common with where you are now…and the best way to explore is to playfully imagine. It wont seem like anything serious, but for this reason you can often find some gems. The position is one of feeling. Don’t let ego, pride, or ypur rational mind get in the way…feel it out. Oh, and if you tell me you were Cleopatra, I am going to have to say it wasn’t likely since so many in the past say they thought they were someone famous like Cleopatra. But who knows, someone out there might have been her actually!

She

She wants the one who will worship,

in a Temple whose mysteries are surrendered

with the right touch.

It is the He who knows this

and seeks to worship

prayerfully speaking into that mystery

where springs the greatest bliss…

Her church begins in the nave

the channel that leads to the altar

where new life is fostered,

where new worlds are birthed

and every man who understands

knows this as a sacred passage upwards,

and He is made, initiated by Her,

to recognize what is so simple…

When he reaches that altar

he coaxes it to open if he knows its secret

and enters to find himself vaulted upwards

into heaven.

It’s inward secret wont open to him unless he knows the Way.

There at the transept lies the “right and the “left”

the place of action

of creation on earth and heaven

where a new life is made

where souls merge to create something greater

than the sum of their parts.

All altars, all Temples, all edifices made in the world

are shadows of this one

which lie within us.

Do men know the way of worship?

Do they know the illuminating character they bear?

Can they speak so She can hear?

Will his prayers be heard?

He must bow to something greater within himself.

So long as we seek edifices in stone

we will have lost it,

for the flesh holds its great secret

of its master from other worlds,

until you see rightly, idols will continue

and our minds taken from the great truth

within ourselves.

Heiros Gamos, Babylon, And A Curious Past Life Result

What happens when you begin to develop a capacity to recall past lives? In my case, when I had enough details from some lifetimes, I began to see patterns from one life to another. Normally, the lives I have lived are of people unknown to history. Over the last few years I have had clear enough recall to be able to pinpoint two lives known to history. I include this post for those of you with an interest in this type of inquiry. It is possible, with some research, to sometimes find lives that have been known through historical accounts.

A few years ago, after having a conversation with someone who I didn’t know in this life but who I had had a dream about, someone who I had correspondence with, I later experienced seeing a scene emerge that I knew was from a very ancient lifetime that involved this person. What was interesting about this experience was how clear and crisp the images were. I was able, by feeling into it, to tease out details that I “just knew” about but didn’t know how or why I knew them. This experience was a lot like putting together a puzzle. Instead of trying to “push the river” on digging stuff up, and risking possibly making something up in the process, I found myself just feeling into it and then letting myself being led into the experience.

When I say I was “feeling into it” I will explain that this is a particular form of “thinking” that requires me to be (1) very honest with myself and (2) careful that I am truly feeling instead of fabricating something. This isn’t about using emotion though. Instead it is based on the awareness that our capacity to feel can lead to realization. I think many people might have a hard time with this because most tend to discount their feeling side, or think it is inconsequential. It isn’t. Also, the more clearing work that you do, the more you open up this side of your preceptual awareness in order to better see just what is there. That said, on to what I first began to see.

I stood in a room that was a bedroom chamber. The room was made of stone with hewn timbers in the roof. Near the head of the bed there was a window. I looked out with wooden shutters which were pulled to the side that opened to the bright warmth of the day. Looking into a courtyard I saw flowers and shrubs below. This was, though, desert country. I knew those plants were there because water was fed to them. They would not have survived without daily care, not in that sun, not in this dry land. Looking out that window, I saw I was at least two stories up from the ground. I knew that this building belonged to someone who was of high status because the homes for most people were single-story buildings, made of brick or stone.

As I stood in this space, I was immediately aware of a woman who was my wife. She was tall and willowy. Her hair was kept and fell around her shoulders in tight curls. When I saw her I recognized her as the person who I had had a series of conversations with previously. She wore what looked like a dress, but this dress went from shoulder to foot and it highlighted her height. Me, on the other hand, was another story. While she was refined and well kept, I was stocky, short even, with dark curly hair and beard. The word “bull” came into my mind. I was, I knew, much like a bull. I was strong, stocky….and as I saw myself, a clear realization came into my mind: I was a general who served a king. I was aware of my “office” which was a hive of activity. It was located a ways off from where I stood. A general….but who?

I thought about how this man looked. He wasn’t Egyptian. Not Greek. Not Jewish. Not Arab or Turk. Not Persian. I kept going through my mental rollodex and ended at Babylonian. Over and over it kept coming back to that. Babylonian? Huh….

Fast forward a couple of years, and as a result of having had an experience that emerged in the wake of my having had a regression this past Summer which I wrote about several months ago, I had an unexpected outcome afterwards. This gets a bit unusual, but hang on for a bit. In this experience, I was having a conversation with an ET who I had a dream about in the early 1990’s. In this case, the ET was unlike any ET I have heard any description of. It wasn’t the typical “grey” or any other ET race I have read about people describing. While the being was the “five-point star” configuration of two arms, feet and a head (humanoid), her skin was not at all like ours, but had the look of burnt marshmallow. Her eyes were golden and the pupils were of different shape. Her head had a curious extrusion-effect along the forehead that made her head like that of a hammerhead shark (but nowhere near as much as a hammerhead). We had been talking and she was sitting in my living room, pointing to the sky explaining that she had to return from where she had come. I was hoping to get into this dream during my regression this past Summer, but it turned out we were only able to cover one early dream during that first session. As a result, my mind thought about this encounter because I wondered what the source of that dream might have been. Having read a few books on the abduction phenomenon I was aware that many abductees first had dreams as a clue that something larger was happening in their lives.

It was a curious time because not long after this dream encounter, I awoke one morning to find that my feet looked like I had been taken out of the house at night. My feet were visibly scratched like I had been dragged through a gravel parking lot. I had grass stains on the sides of my feet. The stains were fresh. The nails on my toes had also been scratched. I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart racing, wondering what on earth had happened. There was no memory of what had transpired. I searched my memory and knew that I had not been out the day before or even weeks before barefoot. I had showered the night before. Seeing this was one of those very odd things that didn’t fit and that odd puzzle piece kept screaming at me as if it didn’t belong. It was also one of the chief reasons why I decided to see a trained hypnotherapist. There was no blood and I wouldn’t say it looked like a struggle. I began to attempt contact not long ago in my present day to see if doing so might yield some answers. It was a bit of an experiment, but I considered that in all of the ET lore, beings who have become interstellar all seem to communicate through telepathy. This was a very easy way to get around the issue of different languages and since telepathy has shown to not be held to the same laws that a radio signal has (going at the speed of light and taking tens or hundreds of thousands of years to reach its target), I considered that this was worth a try at least to see if anything came of it.

It was quite the surprise when I tried this, because I was immediately in a space with that being again and what took place was…bizarre. Instead of it being a case of a cagey alien keeping its cards close to its chest, this being was incredibly forthcoming. She immediately recognized me when I reached out to attempt contact, and as I found myself suddenly in her space, which looked like a giant hangar, she did this thing where she looked down at the ground, stopping dead in her tracks, and took in a deep breath and then looked straight at me. It was just like how you might expect someone to react who hadn’t seen you in over twenty years. The reason why I am mentioning this encounter is that this being said during our conversation that she had a counterpart alive on earth and she said that I even knew this person. Now I had a moment where I did a double-take. “On earth?” I asked. “Yes…” and she brought up the image of this person and it this was the person who I had been in contact with about two years ago and who I had remembered I had had a life in Babylon with. While our exchange was not pertinent to the Babylonian life, what the being told me I passed on to my friend later, contacting her after a few years of having been out of contact. This was the bizarre part….The being explained that she was a “commander” of a small fleet of ships and did a number of different things that involved trade and shipping, essentially. When I told my friend about this she said that she had a memory of having been an ET in another life who was a “commander” in just the way that the ET had described. So it seems once you go down that rabbit hole, it gets a bit unusual.

Time had passed, two years, and since then I have had a number of releases take place. I think as a result, one night not long ago when I walked into the studio, I found the same scene of that bedroom rise up around me, probably because of our conversation two weeks earlier. This time, as I looked at that same window and the bed nearby, I heard clearly….”He was a general….who became king.” A flurry of thoughts played through my mind at this point. I realized or knew that whoever this man was, his being crowned king after being a general made the events surrounding his ascendancy to a throne a rare one….because when have you heard of generals becoming king in any culture? Most cultures with kings meant you had to be in the family. This man wasn’t. Now, two years later, a whole new wrinkle emerged that wasn’t available to me previously. I mention this because it may help you to see how “doing the work” can have other ramifications, like better recall.

I had several more details stream in in the wake of this new realization. I saw a wrought iron “keeper” that was used to hold the shutters open. This detail was in the shape of what I recognized was the seed of anise. Additionally I knew that we were involved in a practice known as Heiros Gamos, the union of God and Goddess. This practice was understood by the people to be tied to our own creative energy and when this union took place the opposites merging resulted in powerful and potent forms of manifesting. In this culture, they used this for good crops. It was desert country. These people understood creative visualization taken to a high level, essentially. I saw just how ancient all of this was. While this may have been what the kings and queens engaged in, this was part of our own individual personal power. Back then it was about the authorities doing this for the good of all the people. This was a way, if you were successful, of holding onto power. Your ability to bring good things to all of the people was what cemented your rule and position with the people. All power comes from the people even if the kings would be the last to admit it. After all, I knew that this man was able to come to power because of the backing of the people. How this happened, I was not entirely clear on. I realized that it might be possible to find out who this person was because it was very likely that his rise to power was a unique event and might be mentioned in history.

During preparing this post I did more research into the details that I saw and I found some curious things. The wrought iron detail that I saw on the wall that held the shutters open, this star-like wrought iron form I thought originally there might be no way to know for sure whether it was correct or not. What was the chance of finding a wrought iron detail in an archeological dig of the same object to show that it had indeed been used at all? In watching a video of historical accounts related to Babylon I found that the older friezes and bas reliefs found in museums showed that many of the rulers had a floral design both on their headdresses and on wrist-bands. This same design shows up on the Ishtar Gate, which was built at about the same time. While this design looked similar to the anise design, I knew that it was not a direct hit. But while watching a video of images in the natural history museum in Iraq, I saw another image that was also in some of the images, and this image showed up a number of times, and it was a six-sided star form that has the same look as star anise. While this is itself probably not strong enough evidence and it could not hold up in a court of law, it is itself a tantalizing clue that I will continue to follow to see if archeologists have ever unearthed wrought iron forms or “keepers” for shutters, for example. Could it have just been the shape for a star and not anise? Yes, it is possible. At this point in the digging I have done, it can also possibly be anise as well. I wont know until I dig further to see if I can find more details related to this. But it is a clue and when you go looking into the past, it is details like these that you have to look for to see if history offers anything tangible or directly related to your search. The fact that I saw so clearly this design in the way I did deserves a second look. If I do dig something more up I will include it here in future edits of this post. Images of what I saw are included in the images below…

What I saw was very similar to this, but there were too many “petals.” So I looked further.

Here you can see the same floret, but look to the left and another image appears…

This is a closeup…

And there is another…

This is anise. It is described as having 6-10 points depending on the variety and development of the plant. A star? Or a plant that looked like a star? Perhaps they were used interchangeably…it was grown in the region.

While I regarded this scene again, feelings flooded in that filled in some of the spaces. I had known this person before and in a myriad of ways. I felt the love, the care, the admiration this man had for this woman. I felt how something would rise up within me, that ancient knowing of how we were whenever we came into each others’ presence. It was because of other pasts that this unspeakable familiarity came. I felt the rush of feeling, I felt how unapologetic I was about who I was…how direct and how utterly unashamed I was of how I felt because of its depth and vividness. Something in her brought something out in me. It is true that some people will do that to you. For me now, it was about the creative power within the opposites as one. And yet, this was simple in so many ways, effortless even. I stopped contact with this person initially because it was often too clear, too strong, and vivid. But this recent conversation, as unlikely as it was, with an ET millions of light years away, brought it all back, nudging an orbit back onto an ancient path….With all of this and the new disclosure that this man was not just a general to a king but a king himself, I took to the internet to see what might be there.

I didn’t have to look very far. When I entered “Babylonian general who became king” the result was a singular one. There was only one general of the Babylonian army who rose to be crowned king. His name was Nabopollaser and he reigned beginning in 628 B.C. His son was Nebuchadnezzar II.

Most of the lives I have lived have been of regular folks, many who were anonymous to history. This man, though, was able to rise to power, replacing the Assyrian king Ashurbanipal not long after his death, when there was a power vacuum involving his sons who clearly were having a struggle with holding onto power and even deciding who was going to succeed him. It was a coup, but one that involved wresting power back to the Babylonians, something that the people were behind him on. That, and he had an army who would fight for him if it came to that. I was aware that here was a man of Babylon who had served under an invading king who had been part of a dynasty that had been an occupying force in the country. In a way you could say it was not unlike what is happening right now with the U.S. as an occupying force in Iraq. He chafed under this rule, but he also was offered a better life by serving this king. His own loyalty to his own people won out, and along with his tenacity and courage, he took advantage of a situation that he saw develop after Ashur’s death. Also, years ago I awoke from dream with this very strange name in my head: Ashurbanapal. I didn’t know what it meant back then, didn’t even know that it was even a name. Where had that come from? I looked it up and saw it was the name of an old Babylonian king. It went no further than that. there was no memory back then, no sense of being on to something. It was like a curve ball from out of left field.

Here is where things get interesting. This life mirrored another life that I had with numerous memories from that took place in the Yucatan in Palenque. This was itself as much of a rabbit hole as the Babylonian life because of how many details that I recalled that wound up being in line with what we know about the ruler there in South America. In both cases, these men were involved in major building projects. Now you might think, “But a king would be building stuff, right?” But if you look at the history, some leaders undertook building projects and others did not. For example, Ashurbanipal allowed his kingdom to go into ruin to a great extent. Buildings were falling apart and he just let it go. Nabopollaser came along and began shoring up the old buildings and then began building new ones. When we look at the Yucatan in 600 A.D., it was one king and his son who were largely responsible for not just building projects of significant scope, but an attention to art and decoration for those buildings. This also happened in Babylon—his son built the Ishtar Gate and while it is “just a gate” into the city, it is considered by many historians to be one of the great wonders of the world for how beautiful it was. Both used nationalistic pride to get the cooperation of their people behind these construction projects. It took time and money, man and woman power, to get it all done. Stone had to be quarried, laid, and carved for decoration. Tiles were fired in bright colors, paintings were done on temple walls and bas relief which stood the test of time even as the murals have faded were part of both lives One was alive in 600 B.C. and the other almost exactly one century later in 600 A.D.

Both built water works. In Babylon, this makes sense because of how dry it was, but in a rain forest country like Palenque, the waterworks that were built were underground and archeologists are to this day still scratching their heads to understand what the purpose of that extensive building project was even about. Both built ziggurat-like buildings (ziggurat and step pyramids). Both had sons who followed them in their reign and in their building projects. Both leaders would not have ordinarily risen to power on their own merits or based on their lineage. In the case of Nabopollasser, he filled a power vacuum after an Assyrian king died by having the army in case he needed to use them, but more by having the backing of his own people who were eager to also throw off the influences of a foreign dominating power (the Assyrians). Once crowned, he pushed out the Assyrians (an invading force that also happened in the case of our king in Palenque). In the case of our jungle king, his mother essentially created a narrative that placed him within the royal line of kings even though this narrative really didn’t exist. Both led their people to a new zenith in their culture. Both were fierce in war. Pacal fought alongside his army to push out invaders from other areas and Nabopolassar pushed out the Assyrians, both in the early parts of their reigns. What I saw in Palenque was they literally scared the poop out of the invading forces. He explained that they had to appear as savages so that it would cement in the minds of the invaders that no one should even bother setting foot into their territory again. “Don’t mess with them, they are animals, they will eat your ears off!” As a result, there was peace during his lifetime. Both were involved in using spiritual energy to help bring abundance to the people. With the Babylonian king it was through the ritual of Heiros Gamos and with Pacal, it was his sacred blood which he shed ritually. In Mayan culture the king shed blood from his penis. Patterns, anyone?

So what happens when there is so much information through recall on crossing lifetimes from such disparate times and places? Does it forge the basis for a “new” way for us to be, based on the work done in other lives? What I know is that now I am not interested in the least with looking to authorities for the source of power. Instead, the next new wrinkle is the realization that we all have this inner authority and that we each have this gift, this ability to reach into the numinous. The keys to this realization were kept away from the common people for a very long time. Even in India and in other areas, the priestly caste kept the knowledge away from people because they knew that if not trained properly, it could lead to madness (which may have been legitimate to a certain degree but they also perpetuated a kind of infancy state in humanity at the same time not realizing how important it is that we experience what awakening is).

What I see as the biggest hurdle for us now has to do with our tendency to fall for the victim meme, which is all about the past. There is no power in the past, only in the present. We can learn things from it and in terms of reincarnation you can feel into what one person was able to feel back then that might help you with how to feel into your own issues facing you today, which can be helpful. If you are unable to see how this victim energy emerges, which is the connection between how you choose to react to outward events, events that are beyond your control, and how you then choose to make those events a problem….. is a very disempowering place to be. Trust me, I know. I had to dig myself out of that trap. It was one reason why once I awoke, my marriage came to an end because I could no longer play along with what I knew was a dysfunctional way of relating with another person.

What is so interesting, though, is this man knew power….but the way he wielded it was done in a singular way and not for everyone. Likewise, Pacal was also looked to as the source of divine power to his people. It is now time for us to grow up. Our channels for creative power exists just as powerfully in every person. One of these channels is our sexuality. Everyone says that kundalini is sexual energy. I don’t observe that this is the case, not completely, and it misses a critically important point. It isn’t just sexual energy, it is that our creative energy is not divided out into discrete streams but is felt in its truest way as uncompounded and undivided. It has long been seen and known as a path to God or the Source of All Life. When we reach that level of spiritual bliss our consciousness opens like a blooming lotus and as this happens the numinous emerges and union with the higher powers naturally rises up all around such a person. Here words fail, but you wind up in a place within yourself that shows there is this capacity to know realms that your physical senses will never show you. By letting this energy in and wash through you, your own inner lotus will bloom and so much of the past junk will naturally fall away. Nearly every tradition on earth has something to add to this understanding, and as a result it is not something that is an article of faith or belief, but can be understood as any other phenomenon is understood. Those wedded to a religious belief may not like this, but in my experience it is just another reason why we should begin the process of not allowing the limits of belief to limit our experience any longer. Central to each of these traditions is a release of that which limits us. In Christianity, we speak of baptism as a ritual for washing away sin, the blocked material from our past. In the Hindu tradition they describe this as the cleansing of the nadi channels in the body where it is now shown that the body stores this repressed emotional material from the past. In the Taoist tradition ego is superceded by a larger awareness that serves to heal false beliefs. The Tibetans have much the same practices all done through their own cultural lenses. The Native Americans have the “inipi” or sweat lodge where fasting and prayer go together to clear a person of the ghosts of the past.

In some cases, to do this work, you might need certain techniques to help the cleansing along because of how hard you are holding onto it. It is one reason why some people who have awakened can still remain blocked. I was like that at one time, and I had someone more aware than I was to set me straight. It represented a turning point in my awakening process. There is way more there if you can be humble enough to be led (by the cosmic mind or higher self) or to admit that you still have a lot of shit rattling around inside of you. In every single case, instead of a rational step by step formula meted out by some teacher from centuries ago (or from now even), the most immediate one is learning to surrender and to allow yourself to feel deeper and deeper into yourself. Using this very simple way of working, you can go deeper and deeper to pull up the whole place by its roots. Feeling. But many people still think that you do this by way of the rational. The problem is, you didn’t get there by feeling rational. You got there through feeling, but broken feeling. Still, people want techniques as if those things will magically transport them out of their problems. Sometimes those things can serve to be way of keeping people walking like an ox at a mill wheel who walks all day, getting nowhere. That is because many techniques are used to get you to feel a certain way….and it worked for one person in time and everyone else followed it. This is why so many people who do yoga or meditation will sit just as the Buddha was sitting when he had his awakening. There is no magic involved in sitting like that. I awakened without doing this and while I have used it, I have found no particular benefit from it (although I will say that the “mudras” do move energy through certain parts of the body that are beneficial). If you can learn that it is all about how you choose to use your consciousness through feeling, you really have a large part of it wrapped up. All techniques, save those that manipulate the meridian system manually, are based in getting you to a certain state of feeling and thus realization. The rational mind is entirely outclassed by the quantum leap that is cosmic consciousness and can only serve as a servant and not the master.

What I have observed, too, is how we can miss past life recall. I think how we do this is critical in order to ferret out accurate details. I was able to come to it to greater and greater degrees not by seeking it but by allowing enough barriers to perception to fall, and this took a good bit of time to do. Sometimes with each release, I can often have a new memory that was tied to that block emerge and sometimes it can have its roots in another life (and in this one too).

I once knew someone who tried to claim that she had known me in a past life, which she went on to describe in some detail. What she didn’t know was that the time period that she was claiming that this life took place in was already accounted for. I had at that time a growing level of recall of my past lives. I was living in Tibet during the end of this supposed time frame she was mentioning, and before that (in the earlier portion of this time period), I had one of my first detailed recalls living as a native American living in California. This life in my past simply didn’t exist as she had described. I did consider that I might have somehow missed it, but further investigation never brought it up. It also didn’t fit me, didn’t fit how I felt about family or the other aspects which she described, and if this post is any indication, patterns can reign supreme in this work. Having that life was like a curve ball, something that did not fit in my growing landscape of past lives whose patterns could be seen in my present life. I came to see that this was about telling a truth for her, but more in a mythical way. Instead, I began to see how the details, which didn’t fit any of my past life (and present life) patterns, were instead her own. It also revealed to me the issues that remained for her to clean up in her own life, some of which dog her to this day. A quick scan is enough to know what is up on that account. As a result, we get people who believe that they were Cleopatra, or some other figure in history who is well known. It turns out that thousands have claimed having been Cleopatra in a past life.

Truth be told, we live much more significant lives spiritually often when we are just the regular person on the street. But once in a great while we wind up in a drama that is recounted in our history. With this woman, the only life I had where she showed up was in a life in Spain during the period when the Inquisition was taking place. I was a magistrate and I had to pass sentence on a host of people who had gotten snagged by the Church. In it, this person came before me doing what she wound up doing in her present life. It won her no support to my mind. Yelling in court, she (as a he) had been caught defaming people and defrauding them. My karma was that I showed little mercy when I could have spared him (her). Just from that one forty-minute exchange we wound up with this pretty difficult karma that played out in this life. It didn’t take much, really. It wasn’t life after life after life, constantly seeking and not finding, but still trying. No, it wasn’t like that at all. I think it was that way for her, though, because clearly she believed she had known me many times before. But that “many times” was really about how invested she was in her own shame and hurt, which she had created as one of the most difficult emotional traps I could think of. I ultimately had to do what I could to let her think what she was going to think because that would wind up serving to distance her from me, and it did. It wasn’t the most honest thing to my mind at the time, but correcting her own narrative was not going to happen. She was dug in. And a lot of people are dug in in just this same way. Perhaps you have been much like this, caught up in things that you believe rather than truly know about yourself. I was. I hid out for decades, hiding the true me for fear that I might be held up for ridicule. And in the end, it happened anyway, and in letting it happen I learned that how those people act is their karma and how I react is mine. I had to simply exit that burning world. And when I did, I moved into a place of peace…..my own peace….on my own terms…and this led to a much better life for me. It allowed me to get back to square one and then reorient myself to my own inner truth and not the “truth” someone else was seeking to insert into my life simply because it felt so familiar to them even though it was a broken picture of their own work that remained to be done. Projection anyone?

Delores Canon, who spent decades doing regression hypnosis into past lives, found that the details that she uncovered during thousands of sessions could be cross referenced with other regression subjects who had been regressed to the same time periods and cultures to reveal a remarkably consistent story line that tended to agree with one another. When she took people back to the building of the pyramids for example, different people would describe the same things, some of which were quite unusual and not easy to just guess. As a result, it is important to have ways I think to cross-reference your details in cases where there are historical accounts available. I was able to find an account that was identical to a memory that I had as a Californian native American man that lined up perfectly with a written account in an old Army report in a case where the natives had tried to steal horses from an Army fort in the area. This case aligned with the same time frame as my memory (which I was lucky enough to be able to place on a specific time line based on what we also have in the historical record of these people) and involved details as to the number of people in our party as well as the number of people who were wounded (I was one of two who had been fatally wounded). This kind of historical evidence and detail isn’t always possible, though. In such a case, remaining open to more details coming through can sometimes help to flesh out more details. This can take time. It took me two years before I got enough information that I was able to locate myself in history where our Babylonian king was concerned. It may not be the kind of evidence that would hold up in a court of law, but it can provide important clues in helping to lead you to a fuller understanding of what was taking place and how this applies to your own spiritual development over time.

In my case, two years went by with releases of what are called “knots” or repressed stored emotion. Once you have gone through this enough times, it gets easier and more common. A full flow of prana or chi does help, but there are methods that can assist and many involve physical movement that unlocks emotional armoring locked into the body as well as manipulating the energy centers throughout the body. All are pretty simple methods. TRE, which I have written about before, is one very effective method along with body work involving acupressure with a practitioner who understands energy. Chi Gong is another very useful modality that when applied consistently over a period of time can result in significant releases of material, especially at the earlier (first two to three years) stages of awakening (although it could also help later as well). Sometimes even reiki can help. As the energy body clears, awareness also becomes more clear. A deeper understanding can result and a better understanding of your truer nature emerges to the degree that there is a greater awareness of the unity of all things and this translates to behavior changes that are permanent. Until that happens, these states are more like places that you can visit for periods of time as a kind of taste of what lies ahead. Until embodiment takes a greater hold, you can use these visits as a way to draw you forward. Things get easier, the self trusts in its ability to more consciously co-create with the universe.

Sound woo-woo? Well, that was what the ancients were doing, and tantra does just this, a tantra that isn’t rooted in just sex. Tantra is the direct path through, not around, problems. The only problem is the trouble that you have within yourself. This is what I have found. Any problem that you seem to have with the world has its root in you. That doesn’t mean, though, that you don’t seek to help bring change to those things that appear to be bad for people in the world. But the path to real change means being clear-eyed and honest about how the change needs to happen. Then you have to help with that change.

For me, the great interest facing me in coming back again in my next incarnation is in how differently I will be creating. In personal relationships, the way that a couple creates together is limited by the karmic threads that bind them. What is their character? What I know from experience is that as a couple become parents, the karma that those two hold together attracts the consciousness of other lives entering our reality, hopefully as the very means of working through that karma. But what happens when a couple creates without the kind of karmic load as that of a generation before? Does a new kind of person begin to make itself be known? What we each are doing in our own lives, waking up, has very concrete effects on the future of the planet even if you live your life in a solitary way.

No longer do we need the kings or priests. What they did, we can do. And in the Gospel of Philip, he explains that Jesus was teaching people how to BE Christs. How could Orthodoxy manage to have gotten this so wrong? This is the danger of this old way of thinking which is that only the kings and queens can do it, or the priests and priestesses or a church or government or an “outside” institution. We literally give up our power and give the institution our power by being a follower or adherent (and it also includes our money as well). It is less doing as allowing, a very feminine trait in all of our consciousness.

I know that I have made deals and resisted the hardest of blocks. I also know that as they go, I find greater and greater peace. There is this marvelous understanding of what these blocks do that was written in the Gospel of Philip from the Nag Hammadi Library which I include here:

That is why the word says, “Already the ax is laid at the root of the trees.” (Mt 3:10). It will not merely cut – what is cut sprouts again – but the ax penetrates deeply until it brings up the root. Jesus pulled out the root of the whole place, while others did it only partially. As for ourselves, let each of us dig down after the root of evil which is within one, and let one pluck it out of one’s heart from the root. It will be plucked out if we recognize it. But if we are ignorant of it, it takes root in us and produces its fruit in our heart. It masters us. We are its slaves. It takes us captive, to make us do what we do [not] want; and what we do want we do [not] do. It is powerful because we have not recognized it. While [it exists] it is active.

The more private teachings of Jesus and the ones which were hidden away for at least 1600 years and recovered in 1945 show a sophisticated understanding of how important it is to do release work. We might call it suppressed emotion today and they might have called it “evil” back then, but it is clearly the same thing. They saw this work as leading to “life” instead of “death.” I can tell you that when you do this work that your perceptions change simply because your beliefs that you hold that are part of the blocked emotion limit your perception and understanding of many things in the world, you see through a distorted lens, which then falls away (and “everything” about what that belief did to you changes). I have known people entirely caught up in their own inner story which had little to no relationship to the outside world. I was one of them, too. For myself, I see that all of this was a doing based on limited understanding, a growth through lifetimes, chapters in a larger book of life. Then later in time, there came a life that was made to open it all up. If you are awakened, then you are this life, made perfect for this work, so don’t doubt yourself. Step back and let that master within you show you what can be.

If you thought this was an interesting dive into reincarnation, you might find an associated post about how to navigate the professional victim worth a look..

https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/2016/03/29/the-victim-mentality/

What the Twin Forces Within Awakened Consciousness Has On Offer

This quote from Jane Roberts and her trance personality Seth describes precisely the two forces that were responsible not only for a new level of consciousness but for a new way of living. Within them is a new form of awareness if you are ready to embrace what this union represents.

Source: Seth International, Facebook

The Way Of Things

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This is from my drafts backlog. This was written in December of 2018. It needs work but I’m so busy these days…

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I have been in this funny place…I just don’t know how to explain it very well without a little backstory.

I grew up very curious spiritually. I felt like there was so much more to know, and that we were so much more inside. I was maybe three years old and I was having what I later learned were out of body experiences. These experiences were very specific though, and were all the same; I would find myself at the interface between spirit and matter as I watched these filamented orbs of energy entering physical reality to take on the bodies of what I knew were babies that were soon to be born. I was watching souls entering the world of matter. Over the next twenty-five years, I would have a dozen memories from past lives, a kind of inner cosmic disclosure that I kept entirely to myself and with just a handful of friends. The point being that I came into this life with my work from many lifetimes bearing on me.

I say this not as a boast. It took me all this time to see what has been happening around me and to me to finally begin making sense of this. I never spoke about this in any open way. I say this in order to set the stage because often, as we find, old stories and experiences wind up bearing on events later.

I also experienced experienced seeing my parents before I was born, the moment when it was made clear to me that it would be they who would be my parents. This memory, though it took place before I was born, somehow was evident to me as an early life memory that stuck with me. It exists just as crisp today as it was 54 years ago.

I grew up with having prophetic dreams about local and international events, dreams so specific in detail that it made it impossible to have simply been coincidental. Later, when I grew into adulthood, I began a series of dreams in which I began helping those who had died to pass over safely to the next world, experiences oddly congruent with my early “travels” to the edge of our world.

What I know is that on the one hand, I have had lifetimes…scores of them where trying to find “that” truth had been a cherished activity and that it was honed in early Christianity, in Tibet, in North American as a native American (twice), in the jungle of Palenque as a leader of the Maya, and as a freed slave in the U.S. All were connected or threaded-through with several central spiritual themes that appear to be flowering right now in our world.

All that work and so was it any wonder my childhood was filled with what it was? But even so, I have learned that you can, by diving deep into your feeling self (not emotion!) to discover what the rational mind can never offer up. This is your amazing capacity to feel incredible depth in each moment, each thing…no, don’t confuse this with your emotions because your emotions most often is a mine field, a trap) you can realize your greater potential. Hint: you can lean forward to feel the brilliance and peace written inside of the core of Prana or Qi itself instead of falling backwards into your past where you fall into pain and the regrets unhealed there. You can’t heal an emotion with logic, you have to let go and allow the perfect light to take it for you. This has been the away of things, the great lesson in my life.

I grew up with this voice telling me to stay away from religion. It actually said that I was not to buy into any one belief system. This wasn’t something that was based in dislike of religion. If there was anyone who needed a spiritual community, it was me. It was a very odd request, but because it came from inside, from my heart center, I just knew that I had to trust it. It’s kind of weird thinking about it now, though. When I screwed up the nerve to ask this voice why I needed to do this, the voice answered simply, “You will understand when the time comes.”

I obeyed even though I very much wanted to belong to a spiritual community growing up. I even went to church with my family, but I did as told…even though I didn’t really understand why. I did know that I was promised some kind of reveal somewhere down the line, but I didn’t know when that would be or what form it would take. And yes, after three decades, I had reached a point where I began to think that all of this was one big hoax, or a delusion on my part. It just seemed like nothing was taking shape. This took decades.

It wasn’t until I reached age nine that my unusual experiences began to take shape in the form of seeking. I sought, yes, some, but I never joined. I was told not to. This was not a voice in my head, but an inner directive. I would heed that directive. Imagine, though, you go to church, attending classes designed for those who wanted to become a member, and you get through the two-month long process of becoming a member of the church and you are standing before the congregation and you look the pastor in the eye and say “no” to whether you were going to go on to full membership. A part of me was mortified, another part did as I was told. I never understood why.

Over the following years I would hear that familiar thought in my mind….”Don’t join, don’t buy into that religion…”

I limited myself to very light reading. I stayed away from religions and philosophies. I did, however, keep a library of “lost books of the bible” books on near death experiences, a channeler whose work didn’t seem religious but was deeply thought provoking. I began to meditate, I considered that if we were beings who survived death that it stood to reason that we had a soul that existed beyond or idependantly from the body. It seemed simple enough of an idea and yet these kinds of things were considered as fringe or New Age. I wondered how something so fundamental to our being could be relegated to an “ism” so easily. I had experienced the out of body state. There wasn’t anything “new” about it.

I don’t think it was forbidden to study a religion, the point was not to buy into it. When I went to college I had to take two semesters of religious study at this small Christian college that I attended. I went to Sunday school, I sang hymns and I listened to many sermons. Don’t become blinded by belief it seemed to suggest. It was really a bit much…

Thirty years of this. I went to Quaker meetings in college because, I reasoned, there were no trappings, just silence and no preaching. The truth was I wanted to be close to God, to our fundamental nature, which I felt, provided a means to know God. I was devout but I was without a church. I felt like it was okay to attend those meetings because no one was telling me what to think.

By my twenties, I assumed that all of this would lead to something that was responsible for the feeling I had as a child about the church, which was that something had been hidden. I suspected this early childhood experience of mine had to do with hidden books. Something, I knew, had been hidden. I had no idea what that even meant, though. It was like reading from a fragmentary text or recalling a memory in the midst of amnesia. It did come from a place of utmost certainty though.

I tried to see if those lost books of the Bible rang any bells. They did not. It’s important to emphasize that I didn’t feel like I had a choice about how I felt. It was the oddest thing. I knew this like how we know gravity. And yet, I wasn’t given to being conspiratorial about subjects like this. It was only with the church. Not as if I was against it just not of it for some great unknown reason.

The truth of what had been hidden was hidden even unto me. Yeah, pretty crazy. I mean, you would have to be very patient to bear this one out to see what lay on the other side of this deep-in-my-bones feeling. I have spent the better part of my life with this odd notion in me, solid and certain as stone. And I did think it seemed crazy at times but inside the feeling was a certainty that I just couldn’t ever sell out or bargain away.

My awakening, when it came, was itself like a giant clearinghouse for so many questions in my mind. Awakening made things clear to me in many ways (it raised many questions that would layer be answered, some of them), and it all began with what the church had hidden. When this became clear to me, all of the doctrine of the church began to make sense in a way that was fuller, more expansive, and now had the capacity to reach into the cosmic or transcendent. In a word, the doctrine began to mirror the capacities I was seeing in myself over my lifetime and that what was in us was an important spiritual physiology in order to know divine union, what early Christians called “The Consumation.” But like I said, something was lost and it was like losing the lock while still holding the key. Further, we each have this within us, this innate capacity for divine union, of being one with the Beloved.

We grew up as most Christians were being told that you didn’t have a lock, you just needed the key. But that was just a story based in collective ignorance. So the saving words of Christ were lost almost as soon as they were given. I am convinced now that entire generations of Christians completely misunderstood key aspects of the innermost teachings so that the understanding was edited out and the books that began to describe the real depths to early Christianity were ordered destroyed. This took place as a steady drip by at least the first century A.D. as early works and letters show a move against the “heresies ” began. By the fourth century the church was allied with Rome and heresy hunting was moving powerfully with decrees handed down by the emperor.

I know how that will sound to ardent Christians. I have had people tell me that if there was something new to know about Jesus or Christianity, we would have found it out by now. The the crazy thing is that in close to two thousand years, this really has remained a mystery, a secret, and this secret has kept countless followers from the means by which one opens the lock and opens the gate to the garden where the white light dwells…the light which transforms each of us when we touch it here on earth. I was able to open that gate in order to glimpse this vrry real and tangible light that most must wait until physical death to experience. I know its effects, I know how just a glimpse can transform any of us here…forever.

The Secret I uncovered had to do with the Trinity and how it served both as an anatomy of God but also of our own inner spiritual anatomy too (as children of God). This secret has been kept out of the church so that no member or believer may know its truth and its effects on us.

I finally realized that in order to understand this, I couldn’t be in the church, no matter how much I wanted to be. I wanted to be! It has resulted many years later in my finding my “rest” in the understanding that this was all for something. I see and understand some of it. Now I understand the fervor, the passion and intensity of my journey. So much is clearer now even as I know that personally, I have more work to do to become more like Christ, to embody that fiery passion that raised souls from death into a new, second birth.

This discovery has changed the makeup if the Trinity, the force which “raised people up” from a dead state to a living one. It also puts a spotlight on the ressurection and many central tennets if the Nicean Creed. Goodness sakes, this discovery changed a lot and when I begin writing about it, it will upend many cherished notions all made as a result of incomplete understanding. To do that will take a book because there sre countless references that will need to be cited and I have to learn my New Testament now like someone who has been studying this his whole life. I dont expect to convert anyone but I do hope for deeper reflection to take place. I have been avoiding writing this book because while I discovered something critically important, it is so different from what one billion church members worldwide that I doubt it will be taken seriously by anyone in that membership. It is, though, critically important to understand just as important as it is to understand how such an error happened in the first place. Lastly, it will just happen to link Christ’s teachings with those from other times, schools of thought, and philosophies.

Recently, after having spent years alone, I have felt this stir of wanting to return to the Church. About three years ago that inner voice, that guiding presence, said to me that I could now read about other religions and philosophies if I wanted. I asked why now because whenever that voice comes, I feel like I can get a few good words out of it before it goes quiet again. I thought I’d try. It explained that I needed to be able to show how my experience mirrored the awakening described in the early church and I would have missed it if I had become a follower. “By being on the outside you were able to finally understand what the missing piece was because your experience included the missing piece which you will bring back to those who are brave enough to encounter the Light and be changed in a twinkling.”

This is why I was able to take Christ as the saving presence without being in the church. The problem is taking Christ as your savior meant taking on the Christ—which means becoming one. Philip’s gospel spelled it out about how this all worked. That the church was calling his teaching heresy was itself the heresy. I did this because of what has been lost. Yes, Paul was right when he said that we take on the Christ, but this was literal. We DO take on the Christ because what gives rise to the Christ has always been inside of us. Even Jesus hinted at this in pretty clear ways saying that the Kingdom was within. It isn’t attained from without but is instead the single most intimate experience one can have where once you encounter it, you do not feel it as anything that ever existed outside of us. It’s just that intimate an experience. There is no man who comes into you, this is the error that was sewn all those centuries ago.

It is the height of ignorance and arrogance to believe that there isn’t anything new we can learn. But there is, and for those who have laughed at me for saying I have found something new I will say this; the assumption of this truth has been extremely rare…so rare in fact that there have only been a precious few who were able to speak to its innermost truths. It wasn’t until about the 16th Century that anyone speaking out about Church doctrine was labelled a heretic. It wasn’t that long ago that heretics were burned, tortured, and mutilated (remanded to a civil court for sentencing and punishment). Only now have we been free enough to speak freely without fearing for our lives, or excommunication. I don’t have to fear any of this because God kept me free from all of it. I never joined, I had no dog in the fight.

This gets to how I have been feeling lately. I know that my devotion to the church has been strong all these years even if it was to point out a flaw or lie or deception within it. I know that the bees in the broken hive still think their hive is perfectly fine, but I stand outside and know better. I am here to fix that hive. It will be up to the bees to accept this and make the changes. Luckily, none of this diminishes the one thing I love most; my communing with the one true creator.

Finally though, I find myself hoping for the same devotion to a religion that honors the truth. I yearn to know another who has this same level of devotion so that we might both gaze into the infinite that is within each of us. I find myself wishing for someone as devoted as I have been. I know I was made to serve, but I find myself asking the Light, “What now?”

I know that because the truth dwells in each of us, we CAN know the truth without books or teachers. Afterall, I did! I know it’s possible and I know the way to that lock on the garden gate. I don’t want to be a teacher or guru. I just want to live my life in quiet devotion with this radiant life that dwells within me…and maybe get this book written about my experience and how it helped to unlock a secret thpusands of years in the making. And I suppose that is a bit of a boast, but there it is.

And alone has been fine, but now I seem to yearn for a mirror who shares the same love of God. Those awakened who lack devotion to the higher purpose present in this experience seem to me to be like rudderless boats. I think I see an ingredient missing and it is devotion. I’m being judgmental I know, but it’s based on experience with those rudderless people. I’m not here telling those people directly that they lack direction, no, and it may even serve an ultimate purpose for them, so who am I to say? It’s just not for me anymore. Sometimes you do need to be lost a bit before realizing you need something more. For me, the devotional path feels just right for the rest of the time I have here.

That probably makes me sound like a religious geek, but truth be told, I always wanted to know God’s thoughts. Even as a kid. Now awakened and entering states that put me at the feet of this Presence, I have simply said, “I want to be more like you.” I realize that to do that, I must learn how to be all love. I know that the attention and love that I feel streaming from it to me tells me it wants a perennial engagement with me. It does not want me out of that stream of powerful love that undoes me, empties me so that I might be ever-more-full. I know that now I am the same; I yearn for a love that results in two unafraid to grow together as one. It’s a tall order I know.

Seems I have my work cut out for me.

The Dance

She was the one who was touched by the growing bloom of desire. Each center opened to a presence that moved all through her. It was little more than a wisp, really, like a rising tide of water. Just like that. This touched her at every level of her being. Pulling him close, though he was far from her, she initiated a dance that she was never able to complete perhaps because the prize was just that precious and powerful a thing; fire from heaven.

The truth amongst our kind is that once touched, we are forever changed. We cannot pretend to be the same. We cannot act as though the genie has gone back into the bottle. We try, many times we do, just as she had done, hoping to return to her Kansas and her blissful ignorance. We all do, if the truth is told. We do grow accustomed to it though and in its big roaring realm of a shift it awakens us to deeper truths, and not all of them sit comfortably with us. With such power, with such roaring realms as these, we are ourselves made into instruments of the emanations that is our universe. The Gods and Goddesses speak through our fiber, our bone, our idiosyncracies, our desire, our failings and our triumphs. We face up to the fact that to be spiritual is to be sexual, which is to be creative, which is about begetting both spiritually and physically. We cannot nor will we ever remove ourselves from the truth of this which is that at its core, all of this awakening is creative. She wants to create with him, to feel his words and his presence upon her lips, drawing out of her a consummate creation born of a love that is transcendent….something more than just she and more than just he. Through every center she feels how the truth of this touches her inwardly just as it touches him inwardly. They are carried, touched, enlivened…. by this fire to know how they both share in an inuterable truth about it and each other….Such a truth draws souls together unlike anything else.

People can turn their backs on these things but so strong are these events that they make indelible marks on our lives, our souls, our hearts, and even our bodies. For as much as we seek to seem normal, to fit in, to fly under the radar, we are rendered an exotic forever after and for always. All of the heresies come to live in us all at once, shaking us to that inevitable conclusion that each of us make, which is that the world is both backwards and upside down. …and it has been that was for a long time.

We, even touched as we are by this, remain backwards and upside down creatures until we relearn and allow ourselves to break under the pressure of the great force that is the divine bearing down on us and on the falsehoods of our innermost lives. The difference is that we are pilgrims who travel not without comprehension to the Promised Land but with full realization that we each ARE what was once promised us.

She is the kind who can sense and even smell him before he arrives. Her innermost senses are so enlivened by him that her own senses begin to form a world around him that is made up of him. Something in her is made to know him perhaps as much as he knows himself. It is at this great level of intimacy that she can never again pretend she had not caught glimpse of the bringer of that fire to her frame in this life or that she served as the crucible within which their surrender became the Great Revealer. She knows him and he knows her in a way that defies any idea that we are in any way separate or that the universe itself is not strung together in an incredibly intimate fashion such that no lie about separation can stand long before the roar of this world washes over it and topples it, washing its pieces away as we stand gape-mouthed wondering over what just happened, and also over how we could build such castles to honor the deeper heresy of separation.

And even those who have parted still meet in the breathless silence of their innermost realm at night and between the sentences of spoken words and between the architecture of our thoughts. They are just too large for that not to happen, and we must learn to forgive ourselves if the fire is ever to make any sense to us and not burn us to a crisp in fear or in anger, or in jealousy, or in uncertainty. It is in the in-between that it calls to us and does not care the channel or vessel who carries it. It seems to need us to tell its story, like some wordless presence, like some vivaciously creative mute that is suddenly tired of keeping silent but has no means itself with which to speak or caress or to love the other in the way that we are equipped.

For many, it’s just too much. It’s too much as long as we resist being as big as it is. It’s too much as long as we refuse to stretch into its being and learn to give that higher self a place in our lives. We resist because the higher self is not uncertain but knows…..and we, the children waking up to its presence within us, are limited and do doubt and are afraid that it might mean our end…..even though that never seems to happen.

He can feel how she visits him. It’s often only after she falls completely asleep. Some nights he waits up and others, he slips off into a sleep that contains chapters only the two of them know, but mostly know peripherally or secretly (even when its secret from themselves sometimes). It isn’t always clear, and there isn’t always a narrative to paint the sky so it can be seen, or a room or a sense of place…..because this now belongs to the timelessness that we each touch when our bodies open their eyes and as our mind is dragged along for the ride. He holds his hand up; this is all he needs do to transmit the ripple of pure bliss which penetrates and travels faster than light and ignores the laws of our world because of how it lives and breathes the one Law that has ever really mattered and is the one Law upon which worlds have been built. This Law lives within him and its movement into her is what remains a world of endless pleasure and delight.

This plays out in this way with many today. Married, single, alone but connected….it has taken all of us into its arms regardless of our laws and rules or conventions. It asks us to tell the truth by BEing the truth, and so it changes our lives when this enters them. We are shaken by this and it is hard, but it is like leaving Kansas with no hope of ever returning, perhaps never wanting to return. The genie is out of the bottle and the truth turns in us until we learn to face it more fully each time it swings us ’round in its pulsating dance of both pleasure and becoming. This truth, if ignored comes back around in other years, seasons, and lives. There is all the time in the world and yet, it seems to make us all feel that there is little time left. I think that this is because of how long we have remained ignorant of how much we have lived outside of its Law even as some of us proclaimed to know it intimately. This force does not care about how our lives are composed it seems, and will clear a path in us to see that its will is done. Eventually, the truth catches up with all of us….and until it does, it exerts a steady pressure on each of us until we give way and forgive in order for the resistance to allow flow again. He remains in silence until she acknowledges that nothing has the power to stop this…

Their opposites, both as the Cosmic She and He attract. Karma attracts, that which is left undone attracts. But what is really at the root of our misgivings after all? In each case, it is always something that felt that we did not reach in its fullest apogee for our hearts to feel filled with it. We return to lovers who died too soon for us to play it again just as we turn the wrongs other have done to us into the force that cracks our insides open to reveal the greatest bliss one could ever imagine. In each case, we feel a sense of lack that always has us forever chasing it, forever yearning for it, forever focused on it even if it is done subconsciously. We hide so much from ourselves that our lives do not adequately allow fulfillment for. But how

do we correct for a wish never filled that is now thousands of years old, covered over by ten lifetimes or more? These bones form the substance of our desire in some of this as we wake up…..and there is nothing so compassionate a hope as this; to free ourselves and to know the force of love not as something that we feel FOR someone but a force that we finally ARE.

There are many stories that remain silent and secret but that live vibrantly in the luminous realm. Don’t let its grace pass you by.

Erte

Lovely artwork suggesting Heiros Gamos…

Made Sacred

​She’s made sacred by desire

Her great yawning passion

Whose throes 

are the forge

of creation

The multiversity rests

perched,

ready,

unknown

even to her

until the brilliant light enters

whose warmth stirs

and awakens

a celestial womb

draped in night

and buried deep

but moved by by his presence

so that

blooming

she opens deeper still

as everything in the illumine

is undone

revealed

taken and given

all at once.

These are ours

moments snatched 

from the infinite

a Sunday morning late in Spring

with tea and rain

drawing us into this warmth 

of presence

where divine

laden

springs.

Heiros Gamos

NOTE:  Many think that tantra or Heiros Gamos is about sex.  Thinking this is like thinking that the gate that you open to go out for a walk is actually the journey. It isn’t.  It is a part of it, yes, but certainly it is not the whole story.  The story is about how our energy expands beyond this dimension into a multidimensional reality, which is what and where we exist in ALL TIME.  We are not JUST our bodies here.  We are much more.  But to understand what this more is, you must first understand the light body, the pranic body, and the bliss body.  These bodies are in truth part of an integrated whole, aspects of something that most do not experience to their fullest potential while here on earth (we are working on that, though). That is because most people are so focused in their physical senses that they lose sight of the dominion beyond the sensory world.  And really, the senses only make up a small part of what you and I are capable of.  But it is this ignorance that leads to thinking that tantra is about sex, or that the divine marriage is about sex.  It is actually about our capacity to experience bliss, whether incarnate or not. What do you think you will use to experience all the things you are so used to experiencing in the physical when you are no longer made of flesh and bone?  Being immortal, we go beyond this one body and time and experience.  “Above” us in “larger” dimensions what we call sexual bliss here exists as something that has expanded in dimension and is already something similar to, but distinctly different from physical sexual energy.  And lying alongside sexual energy is creative energy, which is not that different in its effects on us.  Many creatives can FEEL the bliss that turns sexual when creativity is at its peak.  Many have written and spoken about it.  Not everyone feels or experiences it, though.

This post is not about sex, and yet in a certain aspect, it is.  It is what happens when sexual energy is traced beyond its expected terrain or surround (one which we mistakenly think is THE definition of it as we see it in our world).  This is how one energy expands outward like a pyramid into infinity, ever-expanding in scope and power.  Hence, by riding the powerful current of creative and sexual energy it is possible to know these realms within, and in so doing, it can illuminate you to who and what you are in a larger context.  Yes, it is bliss, but imagine bliss that has been refined and then distilled.  This is higher-order energy. We CAN experience this here.  He can pull the rug of heaven down and step upon its warp and know its spaces and purposes.  We CAN inherit the god and goddess because they exist within us in our multidimensional aspects. To get there, you let go of all that you think you are and just BE.  It is a genuine thing, and it can lead you to realization and freedom.  The energy itself has the power to move mountains in your world because what moves a grain in the world of a god or goddess is what moves a world in our own.  You will see that Thales, the Presocratic philosopher, discerned it right:  “All things are full of gods [and goddesses]”

UPDATE:  After working on this post, I came across an image of Inanna, mentioned in the following post.   Images of her likenesses show up early in the post below.  Three days after working on cleaning up the image that I used, I walked into a gallery and found in the basement of this gallery an Inanna sculpture exactly like the ones shown below.  Here I had not seen an Inanna image like the ones shown below before and then walk up to one that is thousands of years old from a time when the goddess was revered and worshiped. These things happen all the time, though.  Inanna is staging a comeback, I think!

With that in mind, the post….

The pagans of Gaul and Britain had enough in their trove of symbology for us to suspect that they knew about Heiros Gamos.  And while they may not have used the same term, there is enough floating around in the form of jewelry, and pictographs for us to suspect strongly that they had a god/goddess duality taking place in their rituals and ceremonies.  That the word even exists is itself proof of our awareness that it exists less as an abstraction and more as a collective reality that touches us all.  The maxim “as above, so below” applies, which is that as we experience in our world, it is a lower dimensional version of a larger reality.  But what is this thing we call  Heiros Gamos?

This is a term in Greek, ἱερὸς γάμος, ἱερογαμία, which means sacred marriage.  It has many notable mirrors throughout world culture.

Amongst the Greeks, what we know is that this was a ritual that was played out where two people acted as god and goddess in union with one another. Ti was not necessarily something that had to be acted out physically, since in the realm of the god and goddess, this is a nonphysical reality, so intent and an understanding of higher order energies comes into play.  When you hear about the term “energetic sex” you are touching on the spiritual reality of sexual energy as a reality beyond the physical experience.  Everything we experience here on our earthly plane has a compliment in other realms. dimensional realities. As above, so below.

In each dimension, though, things change, while keeping the essence intact.  So what do you think that means?  Imagine what life is without a body. This might be hard to do since your memory is bounded most often by this one life.  However, within your ability to see and know lies a deeper sensing that is possible, and you touch on these realities when you get quiet, become reflective, and also meditate.  It is in this world that you can experience the world that is the one most native to your soul. Believe it or not!

Images of Inanna

In the middle east, the sacred marriage was played out between high priestess of the goddess Inanna and most often the king of the Sumerian city/state. There were other temples throughout the Sumerian kingdom that were dedicated to Inanna.  The temple of Eanna, meaning “house of heaven” in Uruk was the greatest of these. The temple housed Naditu, priestesses of the goddess.The priestess would choose a man who would represent Dumuzid, who was considered the consort of Inanna, which would take place during the Duruk ceremony, This would take place during the new moon of the Autumn equinox. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hieros_gamos)

Shepherd God illustration taken from a seal, Ur.

In the Hindu Devadasi tradition, girls were married to a deity and took part in dances and theater which was meant to serve the deity.  In Tantric Buddhism, yabyum is performed, it is said, of the male and female together in a form of ecstatic union. While many in the West think that this is referring to literal sexual union, the union that is referred to is something that each person is able to experience in their own bodies first as a  result of the union of the opposites through the personality up through the higher self, effectively making it possible for divine force to bath the whole self and being in the rich flow of pranic force. Higher order union is that union that we experience through the soul.  It is thus, not contingent upon our being in a body or having sexual union with another person for it to take place.

The Alchemical tradition was also about this same concept, and it may have been by way of Buddhism that the Alchemists were able to fashion a means to relate the material in a more Western flavor.  Certainly some of the earliest of documents concerning Alchemy point directly to the source as being old and wide-spread.  This points to the fact (I feel) that this form of union is something that is part of the human experience, regardless of one’s belief, culture, or belief system. The union of the opposites occurs within the self first.

But is it possible that this union is more than just within the self? I think that the union must first occur within the self and resolve there for enough time to effect the work necessary to clear the energy channels in the body.  Yoga, especially pranayama seeks to cleanse the naddis, those etheric channels of blockages that might cause trouble were they to be charged fully with the action of kundalini, of life force in abundance. I think that this is the next layer, the next stage for us to experience, which is beyond the rather tawdry westernized tantra where its all pretty much about sex and sexual positions.  Oh, there is a nod to energy, because, afterall, isn’t that what its all about? I sense, though, that the depth of this experience is one akin to dipping the toe in, rather than swimming. When we allow such a small amount of energy to flow through us, we are attenuating it, which means that it will FEEL very intense, but will itself be a small flow of energy compared to what is possible. It will be more chaotic, and it will be less peaceful.  You will see how this will almost always lead to problems between the two people as a result. We  judged buy our fruits. So, then, if you want to improve and know there is more, the work dear reader, lies within yourself.

My experience is that yes, this form of union is not only possible, it has happened here in my own life.

I was still quite young when I was with the woman who was my first love.  We both had leanings into the spiritual, but our youth and lack of experience had us still quite green.  But once while we were together making love, I noticed that her body seemed to….change.  She seemed to relax as though she slipped out of herself.  Her head fell back. She seemed barely there.  She looked upward and away from me.  Her eyes sparkled.  After a few moments she seemed t come back to herself and asked, “Did you feel that?”  I looked at her, wondering.  “Yes.  I saw all of this light gathering around us, like stars that kept drawing into us closer and closer and this energy built up until I felt we were out amongst the stars and it reached a peak and there was this explosion, and the explosion was of countless stars……and after that, I chased you through space amongst those stars, like we were playing hide and seek.”  I felt nothing of the sort.

Does it mean, though that this kind of experience is just in our own mind?  If a tree falls in the forest, will only one person hear it? It is possible, I think.  the reason why I say this is because access to soul energy is based on ones own individual willingness or availability to it. Soul energy, which is infinite and unbound by time, exists beyond all time.  This is why people like Robert Monroe, who was able to project out of the body, was able to experience countless “versions” of himself from other lifetimes as well as an aspect of himself that was so far advanced that it appeared as a brilliant point of light.  But beyond the body, touching on the soul, one inherits infinity and it is there that the potentials can be experienced that belong to the soul.  Kundalini, or its action in the body, is what brings prana, but what is prana but soul energy?  I know what the Hindus and the Tibetans say about prana (but is not everything at some point or place in its vibratory frequency soul energy…consciousness?)…..but I ask you…..Are we not one with the All?  And what makes each of us different?  Ego. It is what makes this vast sea able to know itself as all these different things….and yet also know itself as the One.  We are both. Its really kind of wonderful when you think about it. You can choose to be One, you can choose to be All.  You can choose everything in between.  We are this.

Time has shown me that this person was herself an initiate into an order of Isis, which was another temple in Egypt that was connected to heiros gamos.  In a memory a few years later, I saw how she had merged with this male energy that was Ra, or was experienced as a solar golden light that came into the temple during a ritual that was performed that was, I believe, initiatory in nature.  Already, she had experienced this, her own soul had attained this level of connection at her soul level.  As for me? I don’t know.  I have no memory of any experience that was of this type.  It was not until decades later when I awoke that I felt the golden fire move upward through my body, releasing the force of energy we call kundalini. Perhaps in my own way, sans temples and teachers, I attained it on my own in 2007.

What I do know is that it is possible to feel and know the soul energy of another as an aspect that exists beyond time and space.  So this soul energy which I touch in one lifetime is similar to that which I feel in another lifetime.  the only thing that changes my own experience are my own blinders or perceptual blind spots that might limit my perceptions in one way or another.  When you touch the soul, you touch ALL POTENTIAL, which means you can feel all the way into godhood or goddess level energy were you able to allow yourself to surrender that deeply to contain such a broad experience.  I know that from experience, it is possible to do this.  That is why liberation and awareness are so huge; you have a god or goddess on your side who can teach you innumerable things, far better than anything I could ever do, and completely fashioned just for you (because it IS you).  When Jesus was criticized by the Pharisee’s in John 10:34, he says this:

“The Jews answered Him, “For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy; and because You, being a man, make Yourself out to be God.” 34Jesus answered them, “Has it not been written in your Law, ‘I SAID, YOU ARE GODS ‘? 35“If he called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken),…”

Those awakened are aware of this fact.  We each can feel how the self is itself limitless.  the only thing that limits us are those blind spots which are induced by way of what these blocks represent in the energy system, the naddi of the Hindu, the meridians of the Chinese practitioners.

The sensible approach seems to perfect ones self and allow cleansing of this energy system to take place. Suggestions are that this is something that can take a decade or longer to complete. I am at year 8 and sense that I have now gotten the bulk of blockages cleared, but have several centers which contain some blocks at different levels of the koshas, which can be thought of as layers or dimensions, within the chakras and the meridian or nadi system.  With five layers deep, each nadi system will have five complete passes in order to completely clear and wipe the slate clean.  The good news is that the action of kundalini is the thing that makes this incredible amount of work something like a short-cut.  But it is also possible to do the work as described in pranayama yoga that involve “locks” that are movements of the core body to help move the blockages in the nadis. Long before I ever learned about these movements, I was performing similar ones with my own body that were not too different.

Deep down, we know.  We know and can connect with this limitless self that touches God-dess, the totality.  It is here that knowing pours through us, for everything that has been or will ever be, is alive in this same flow of energy that is moving through everything else.  Don’t believe me?  Open your mind, your heart, and resolve all that divides you.  When you achieve the movement of this energy of the universe within you, tell me then what it is that you think.

Union begins within….but union is with all of us.  The question is, are we brave enough to do the work that will lead to more substantive experience in this realm?  Remember, you can still dip your toe in the universe whilst beginning, but doing the work will allow you to swim deep in its waters.