Archives for posts with tag: bliss

I had been telepathically connected to her, tied as it were, after an effort on her part to pull me into her field forcefully at the point of her awakening. This was all done nonlocally. Anyone who says “twin flames” cannot force you to do anything you don’t want to do hasn’t experienced what I did. It was the equivalent of having someone charge into your inner life unbidden, unasked, and insinuating themselves into your life.

You might want to believe that these connections are divine and predetermined, or the result of a process where there are no mistakes. I can confirm that the wild card is human will and when it is exercised unconsciously we want to call it “fate” or the “will of God.” I can say that it is possible for these connections to be forged without our consent and against our hopes dreams or desires. It’s one of the things that hardly anyone will tell you because most feel so caught up in the engine of bliss that it can blind them to a world of faults. I think that the bliss keeps one from critically examining the phenomenon. Perhaps that is part of the point, a cosnic stab at unraveling our own personal errors in the hope of returning everything back to love. “Shush….all of those things are details, all that matters now is love. Now comes the age of forgiveness” it seems to say in the light of experiences such as the one I encountered in early 2011.

I am one who tries to make lemonaide out of those lemons, so at one point after dozens of preturbations and freakouts and contractions on her part, I ceased trying to help outwardly. I just stopped. I then began speaking to her higher self. Clearly, for as upside down as this was, it must surely be an effort on the part of her self in time and her soul (unbound by it) to get the memo on her own, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes it is with the aid of angels whose unsung roles are at work in the bakground.

I got the idea of just speaking to her soul instead to the self after realizing that she was always locked in one drama or another. I sat quietly on my bed before sleep and focused my attention on her and I began to tell her how beneficial bliss is for healing, in the hopes that she might inquire further into the topic on her own. When I was stripping paint from trim outside my house a few days later, my mind would again speak to her, and it would be all about the power of bliss. I would do what I could to slip the idea in through back channels instead of telling her directly. If I told her directly, I knew she would resist it because of her egoic innability to accept what I offered to her as truth. Instead, I made it so it would seem it occurred to her herself. It turned out that it worked very well.

After a week of my daily meditations and inward sugestions to her about the benefits of bliss, she started asking me about bliss out of the blue. There was no better confirmation that something was working than this. Here was a topic we had never spoken about at all and now she was suddenly asking me about it. I kept quiet about my inner suggestions and began to tell her about the benefit of bliss. She asked me in a morning text exchange that first week, “So do you feel bliss?” I replied that I did feel bliss. She asked how often. I explained that it tended to be nearly constant. She responded as if she couldn’t believe that a person could do that. I assured her it was possible, and that I had reached that in my work. She wondered how that was even possible. It was here that I knew that a transfer was possible because I did truly feel bliss most of the time and that she was becoming open to the idea that this state was possible for a person. It had taken years for me to come to such a place (feeling bliss in this way).

Those with whom we share these connections can feel what we feel to greater and lesser degrees, depending on how the personality is set up. In her case there was a lot of resistance and fear which got in the way sometimes of an aligning between portions of the self that can benefit from this type of work. When I would think of her she would feel it but she interpreted it as my wanting to be involved with someone else. She once messaged me explaining how she could feel my desire for another woman, how I would kiss her, even. At the time I let her think what she wanted to think because it served to drive her away from me (I was stalked for years by this person), but the truth was, it was her that I was thinking about. This helped me to see how we can receive information very clearly, but we can step in a distort with our personalities the meaning of the information. There was an edge of concern that she might distort what I was sending her.

Being able to do the work completelly on the etheric or subtle level because of how much ego was present in this case was a good outcome and was probably the ONLY way she was going to learn how. It was better to let her think it was all her own idea…and the thing was, it was because she had to first accept the idea from me as if it was her own. You can’t make them accept an idea but you can use your telepathic connection to plant seeds. Just keep planting them and don’t need to be the one who gets the accolades. Most growth happens this way which is the result of seeds having been planted in this way.

When she began asking me about this bliss, it was then a very simple matter to transfer to her the awareness the bliss field or bliss body to her telepathically while also using our verbal communication as one medium of focus and exchange for an event that was largely taking place internally or etherically.

I said that it was very easy to feel bliss and all she needed to do was to follow the steps that I spelled out to her which involved breathing and focusing only on the breath. I told her how to breathe and the breaths to take. I was breathing in bliss and breathing out bliss, transmitting outward as she breathed inward. Understand, I was not THE source for the bliss. I know that what I feel as bliss is just the awareness of a field of bliss that exists. I am a miner of gold that already exists, you see. I could hold my hands out etherically to her and have her respond because of the nature of our entanglement or connection. I didn’t need to say this was happening, and it it’s best that you do not mention it. Feel it, then transmit it directly through feeling. You become a lighthouse. Understand, this is only for things that WILL directly benefit them (not you). Anything less is manipulation and generates negative karma for yourself.

In the moments during my breathing suggestion, she very suddenly began feeling bliss run all through her. I knew at that moment that the door had opened for her and as long as she didn’t respond with fear, this state would grow and establish itself. It was so easy to do, really. She just had to be open to it Bliss is not what you do, it is what you are, so this is easy if the right things are in place. I explained that she had gotten it and that she could go back to it anytime that she wanted, another neat trick of suggestion, which forms the very useful belief that this state can he accessible at any time or in any place. From all accounts, it has been precisely this for her. It worked because it was all based in what is true. Bear in mind, it could have gone a different way, in which case I would need to have dropped the idea after a while. There is something important about not wanting it or needing it too much, or obsessing over it too much.

Sometimes it is easier for the egoically inclined to think they are doing all of this themselves, especially someone like the person I had to deal with for a time. Tricky? Maybe a little, but it wasn’t an effort to manipulate her but to provide for her something thst she sorely needed in her world as what I refer to as her role of “professional victim.” Its hard to know how dissempowering such a state of mind is to us when it is you who are buried in it. In fact, there is no use in even trying to explain it. It is easier to plant seeds in the hope that they will take root (all of this is done nonlocally).

I tell you this because you might be dealing with someone you are connected to that has been hard to deal with. This method or approach could be of some benefit. In order to feel it best, you have to feel it natively in your own skin first and then imagine whatever that state of mind is, being offered, not pushed, on the other over and over. Do this at various times during the day. Don’t be obsessive about it, treat it as a casual thought without a hope of an outcome. You do though, offer up the suggestion of its benefits as you feel them yourself (because through you they will feel it).

I later found out that gurus in India teach their students in this way by holding certain states in mind, which students will tend to pick up on in meditation. I thought how perfect.

In the Indian tradition they said what a great responsibility it was for the guru. I myself thought how easy all of this was, how this method made growth and healing much easier when I stopped trying to help outwardly and began working inwardly. Perhaps it can be a subtle way to help the other grow and heal. It is like osmosis.

~Nemasté

Recently while watching a hawk trying to catch a mouse outside my window one morning, I began having a very unusual effect happen with my vision. It was quite curious; when I looked a certain way or focused my eyes a certain way the grass of the lawn outside rendered itself into a rich mandala-like pattern. It was unmistakable, and it took me by surprise. It would go away as I moved my eyes but I found that it would also come back and I would see the same pattern. It looked as if the landscape had arranged itself in a very coherent pattern visually. I wasn’t under the influence of any substance like a psychedelic.

I have never taken DMT, however, years ago when I was new to awakening, I often saw patterns like this in my mind and they were very similar to what I would later learn are called a Yantra, a mandala made up of triangular geometry. When I saw images in Indian culture that reminded me of the same patterns I saw in my mind’s eye, I figured that this may in fact be tied to some inner effects that awakening can have and artists illustrated them in the spiritual iconography of the yogis and yoginis who were experiencing this phenomenon as a result. I considered also that it was quite possible that in awakened states we may release small amounts of DMT, a substance that is in many plants and is produced by the body. It is a powerful psychedelic and if you are familiar with Terrence McKenna or Joe Rogan, you are likely to have gotten an introduction to its use and its effects.

People describe experiences of enhanced perception both visually but also of seeing other worlds open up to the mind and visual cortex when larger doses are taken. DMT is also present in the mixture called ayahuasca. What is so interesting to me is how both the ayahuasca, DMT, and awakening experiences all have the effect of aiding in the release of stored emotional blocks. I have considered that part of awakening involves the production of dmt (along with a host of other chemistry clustered in the endocrine system).

In the wake of my unusual encounter with my hawk as it tried to capture a mouse in the grass outside (actually it looked like it was playing with it…it never looked like it had actually found the mouse but that the mouse was hidden under a layer of dead grass thus protecting it—the effect was like a cat playing with a mouse, never really serious about catching it and eating it), I watched a video of a Joe Rogan podcast dealing with Covid and in the suggested section was a video of a graduate student describing the geometry of the DMT experience. It is entitled “The Hyperbolic Geometry Of DMT Experiences” on Youtube. It was an oddly timed discovery as I would soon find out.

I skimmed through the video and I came to a slide describing the different visual effects at different dosage levels. What was so interesting is the description of one dosage level that was identical to something I had seen the day I was looking outside my window that morning with the hawk. I will show you how the grass looked in a screen capture of their slide below:

What I saw corresponded to a known dosage amount, which is 4-8 milligram. I have wondered if it was possible during awakening, particularly with kundalini, whether we are experiencing elevated levels of dmt production, perhaps enough to briefly cause effects like the one I had recently seen.

I have observed that kundalini has had a very tangible series of physiological effects on the body, namely the endocrine system (which consists of the sexual organs, adrenal gland, pituitary, pancreas, thyroid, and pineal). The pineal gland is one center where dmt is suspected to be produced in small amounts in the body. Since I wasn’t that informed about the dmt trip aside from a few descriptions in videos, I found it interesting to find through some research that naturally occurring dmt experiences can be induced through breath work and meditation. Here was one source that describes a few of the symptoms of the natural dmt experience:

Common symptoms are as follows: pressure in the middle of the head and behind the sinuses, flashes of light with eyes closed, the feeling of the body vibrating as if laying on top of train tracks, twitching of the limbs, and a feeling of heaviness of the body.

http://q4lt.com/dmt-making-101

These are all symptoms that can be experienced with kundalini. One is suggestive of a third eye activation (not to say the pineal is the third eye—the third eye is a chakra and thus part of the energy body’s inner senses). Additionally, “ego death” and loss of ordinary identity happens at the correct dosage, another possible symptom depending how far along in the process that you are. Bliss has been reported as well as being able to overcome emotional issues from earlier life (including enhanced problem solving and intuitive powers of the mind). These are also features of kundalini (or can be experienced). My sense has been that the dmt experience is an analog to kundalini. Named the “spirit molecule” it may well be that what we are dealing with here is an experience native to kundalini.

Finally, what I found was that I could see the patterns when my eyes were slightly “defocused,” something that was hard to determine how to repeat simply because being far-sighted myself, it was hard for me to defocus naturally. I would say that there was a very slight defocusing of the eyes when this happened. I thought I would bring this experience forward for all of you psychonauts who are interested in the spectrum of experience possible with kundalini in specific but also how it may in fact be related to how dmt may be involved.

While it was known that the pineal gland in rats had dmt in them, it was not clear whether human pineal glands did the same production of dmt. In a recent study it was found that trace amounts were found in the human pineal gland as well as in the neurons of the brain also. That study is linked here:

https://www.psypost.org/2019/07/study-provides-evidence-that-dmt-is-produced-naturally-from-neurons-in-the-mammalian-brain-54051

UPDATE: the morning after preparing this post, I looked out my window and found the same hawk doing the same thing it had been doing the week before. And like last week, I found myself watching the hawk and discovered that the landscape began to change in ways that were consistent with the video that I mentioned that described the different dosage points of dmt. This time, I had two different visual effects. the first was one in which the landscape began to appear to break up into a series of points, like clumps of grass. These clumps appeared very regular and I wondered over how I could be seeing this the way that I was. Was it just that the landscape was that regular? The sun came out and highlighted the landscape and the effect became more pronounced. I looked away and the effect went away. Then, a moment later, while watching the hawk the landscape bloomed into this “chrysanthemum” effect like it did last week, but only for a moment. What this reminds me of is the effect that I sometimes get with certain types of lighting that put out a particular wavelength of light, like sodium lamps. It is almost as if the light is polarized and moves along certain lines somehow, which then highlights certain parts of the scene along with the light, producing a strange radial effect. Whatever is happening, it is not permanent and seems to be tied less to my eyes as it is my perception, which I sense involves inner sensing as well as physical sensing.

I will add that a couple of months ago I had a hawk feather show up at the bottom step of the deck where I live, right in my path. Who knows really. Messenger?

DMT is a material that breaks down very fast in the body. It is one reason why dmt trips are of such short duration (unless when using ayahuasca which has an added ingredient that slows the breakdown of dmt in the body, thus extending its “lifespan” in the brain and body). Is it possible that as the body releases dmt that we can have very short bursts of visual phenomenon and changes in consciousness? I will say for the record that for the forty minutes prior to seeing this this morning, I was in a meditative state with off the charts high bliss. Who knows for sure, but it seems worth paying attention to.

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This was a question that came up a while ago and it was something I was certain was obvious to anyone who would be around me after whatever it was that had happened to me: blast of light, lightening strike, rocket engines taking off, take your pick of what “that” thing was that happened on that fateful day that left you in deep mystery about what had happened.  Well it was kundalini, that’s what.  I was asked if this energy was obvious to others and it triggered an old memory I had those first few weeks after my awakening. And the answer is no.  Those not awake will not feel your energy.  Okay, mostly. Sometimes they can.  Alright, that didn’t sound very clear, did it?

Clearly, no one was feeling my energy. I literally thought that I had a giant neon sign over my head that first month after the energy raised.  I really felt exactly that way until I realized, no, no one was picking up on this!  What a relief!

Except that as time went on, I began to see clusters of curious behavior that suggested that some people, not everyone, was feeling something. I wasn’t sure at first, so I did what I always do: I sat back and observed to see if I could gather enough data on the subject that would inform me more one way or the other.  All of this took a while, it didn’t happen overnight.  So the answer here is that in some cases, yes, some people can.  Mostly, they don’t. Clear as mud?  Read on.

This is why it may be that you might want to be aware of this when or if someone starts acting weird around you.  It seems that there is a range of reactions in my experience.  It tends to be either a bliss response (or approaching that-say an unusual attraction or enthusiasm in your direction) or the opposite, which could present itself along the lines of anger, upset, frustration, and fear.  I am telling you this because it has been an observation of mine and it might help to clarify some odd instances of how some people will react to you.  I have had both.  I really wish that it was more nuanced, but in my experience it usually isn’t, at least for me.  People here are not mature enough to know how to deal with the energy that could catalyze their own flow of prana in themselves.  I am hopeful that this trend will change and I think that if it is going to change, now would be the time in our history that it would do so (fingers crossed).  To do this, I think that we need people who are more accepting and surrendered in their lives.

In The Garden1

In my garden…

I think that the best thing to always do is to remain neutral when it happens.  Someone is responding to something in you a certain way and my sense is that it can move them to extremes.  I now prefer to keep my bliss to myself and not have hitchikers or hijackers along for the ride. For those who act more peaceful and give me that look that tells me they are spellbound, I have to realize that they aren’t spellbound by me at all, they are actually responding to their own insides and how it makes them feel.  Yes, in some cases they may think it is coming form me, and in a sense they are right, but what they feel as a result of that actually has more to do with their own capacity to feel what they are capable of when it comes to a flow of prana and the bliss it can bring.  In short, when someone is feeling prana that might be attributed to me they are feeling it in their own world on their own.  It is like how we are all breathing the same air.  Is the air me? Is it you?  Well now perhaps you can see how silly it might be to think the air comes from someone like myself or anyone for that matter.

I will add one caveat to all of this, which is that you can project this energy to a person. The energy body is not limited to location, and this is why people can do reiki atunements, or why the power of prayer can make sudden changes in outcomes.  We can send energy to people, yes, it is true, but I don’t know that we really know everything there is to know about how this even works from an energy standpoint, we just knows that it can and does work. Are we sending energy or are we communicating with that person’s own higher self or energy body and they accept the idea that there is more energy available to them?  I say this in the way I do because it is like me bringing you a bucket of water that I just filled from a boundless ocean just fifty feet away from us.  Do you see what I mean by that? Am I actually sending energy or am I sending the suggestion that more energy could be available to them, and because they pick up on it, they do….and they do this based on my own thought of sending X amount of energy to them? And who knows, it could be a bit of both.  I really wish we were further along in our study of this energy than we are.  I suppose we could set up experiments to make some important determinations about how this all works. Okay, I know, you probably think I am just splitting hairs, here.  You might be right, but this is what I think about because I have always taken this attempt at being objective and asking lots of questions that maybe most don’t think to ask, but might be worth looking into if only for curiosities’ sake.

The best thing to my mind is to always bring it back to the person so they don’t focus on you as the source when these odd interactions happen.  There are gentle ways that you can do this and it all has to do with intention.  If they can feel the vibe then they can also pick up, perhaps subconsciously, your intention which might be that while you might inspire the energy, the energy is theirs.  If there is a conversation, keep bringing the talk back to how great it is that they are feeling what they feel and how it is something that they are doing and how great is that?  I have had people ask me if I was doing something to them.  I said each time that no, I was not doing something to them.  Instead, I would say, I was just serving as inspiration, nothing more.  I think this is correct and also keeps everything appropriate.  People can get hung up on the small truth and not be able to see the bigger truth that is looming.

I went through a period, a very definite one, where I was literally turning heads.  This started to happen when I was myself at peace with the energy flowing through me.  I just let it flow and didn’t worry about it. As a result, I felt so much better.  It was a breakthrough for me, actually.  I was able to embrace the inherent sensuality of the experience without feeling like I needed to tamp it down or feel shame about it. Its odd to think that I once felt shame about something so incredible, but I did.  But once that was being released,  and this happened quite suddenly in my life, I noticed how all of a sudden I would have these really quite comical things happen to me with the people around me.  It was the double-take or the rubberneck effect as I think of it. Maybe you have experienced this.  I might be walking down the street or driving in my car and I would see these people craning their necks to look at me.  In many cases these were people looking in my general direction with a look like they were trying to find something.  I had many instances where a woman would walk past me and would turn on her heel to scan the street in my direction as soon as she passed me, with a looks like she was trying to find something but had no idea what it was she as looking for, only to give up and keep walking. It was worth a giggle or two, yes.  I knew it wasn’t me, it was the energy.  If it had only happened once or twice it would not have meant much to me, but it was happening multiple times a day during a particular period in my process.

I have also experienced the dark side of what this energy can do to people.  I knew two people who quite literally wanted to destroy me because of it.  Both behaved nearly identically and instead of being able to part as friends, they had to demonize me just to move forward.  I also saw that as I removed blocked energy one ex would go into fits of rage within a 12 hour period of each block that I removed.  I have written about this before on the blog.  I counted nine times in a row where I had released blocked material and the person I was with would go into this rage meltdown each time within about a 12 hour period each and every time.  It continued to happen, but nine times in a row was enough for me to make a causal connection to what was happening.  There was NOTHING that I did to cause the person to go into a rage meltdown.  It was always something that she had somehow procured within herself as the source of the problem.  You just never knew who she was going to focus her rage at at any given time.  So there is that.  Usually in these cases, in my experience, there is always some kind of resistance in the person that precludes them from embracing whatever this seemingly disruptive energy means for them on a personal level.

People who are resistant to change will tend I think (just my own opinion thus far) to go into the negative range of expression or reaction.  Either you realize this and seek to engender a more compassionate understanding and patient approach with encouragement, or you just leave well enough alone.  In my case, I knew that nothing I could do would amount to any substantive change in their reaction.  And it is just that-a reaction-so don’t beat yourself up about it. It really isn’t about you.  It is very easy to hop on their karmic merry-go-round and then get caught up in their own pattern, which can be very hard for you.  It is sometimes better to leave well enough alone.

Those are my two cents on the matter. I think that if you yourself go in the direction of using it to your advantage, this will only result in bad karma, so please don’t do that.  Let it be what it is, a sign, an indication, but nothing more.

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There is another instance where your own energy is affecting another person and this is what I would call the twin experience.  Some call it twin flames or twin souls or rays, take your pick. In this case, two people have become effectively entangled in their soul energy where a significant degree of telepathy is involved. These in my experience have always been karmic in nature even though those who have been so affected will hold out for this being something divine. While it leads to our divinity, it is a connection to the soul-self which operates under a very different sort of premise than the self in time and space (in this lifetime).  As a result, there is an overpowering draw to that person that goes beyond mere location and transcends the physical senses. It feels significant, and it is, but it is what happens when two people become connected, and it is always because of karma.  If anyone can illustrate situations where there is no karma whatsoever in one of these connections, I would like to learn more about that case because I have yet to see an instance where karma is not involved as the trigger into the experience.  It isn’t that I am narrow minded, it is that I have looked and observed and experienced this phenomenon and at no point have I found a compelling reason to say that this is a horse of a different color beyond karma being one important element in kicking off the connection.  So I am open to having my mind changed, I just haven’t seen it happen yet.

These are unusual instances and are unique to the two people involved, although there are many cases where once someone has had one connection, they may wind up with another, or several.  Again, all have karmic material at its foundation. That isn’t to say it is bad, not at all.  It does present challenges, though, very real ones, and you should be aware of this.  It can lead to loving their soul but having real challenges that are nearly diametrically opposed to that soul which feels perfect to you about who that person is in their present life. This leads to a conundrum for people in relationships like this.  It is, to my mind, a call to learning how to step into the soul-self in a more embodied and authentic way.  This takes real work to do and it can take a lot of time and requires a lot of patience.  The soul, though, will always seem beyond your reach in this lifetime for the simple reason that it does not exist in time, but rather projects parts of itself into time in order to become flesh.  In so doing, there is a new version of the soul created with a personality and a body, all of which were chosen in order to hopefully achieve certain specific goals. The soul does not appear to have any of this. It just IS.  I suspect this is why we reincarnate in the first place, which is to work through things that the soul cannot in its no-time-space state.  There is a song that says, “In heaven, nothing ever happens at all…” and there is a certain truth to this.  How do you have things happen when there is no time or space?  Where is there to go when you can be aware of being potentially everywhere and everywhen?  It seems the soul needs these projections in order to focus itself more narrowly, to take on roles, conditions, and the mask of personality in order to work through certain dramas central to its needs and concerns, whatever those might be.

Those are my two cents on the phenomenon, and it isn’t to strip it of its meaning or importance, only to leaven it with what I think is an important ingredient so that we don’t have a blindside to some important aspects of the experience.  There might just be a very real reason why you react and respond to the Other the way that you do especially when it is a negative reaction.  That bit of resistance that you are feeling is pointing out  the work you need to do most likely. I think this is the only way these unions will ever see a significant level of peace within them, which is to say they could be a call to change, real substantive change.  Otherwise, you will be caught up in the maelstrom of your own triggers, all karmic in their foundation, and it is possible you will be something like those people I discuss earlier who would go into melt-down after melt-down.  If you have had an experience along these lines, I am all ears (and eyes).  I am open to learning more, so if you have something to add, I would love to hear about it.

Blessings, P.

The quarentine has been the best test for my progress and development. Before the meme (below) spread across the internet I was at home working in my studio and keeping to myself and keeping a pretty good level of peace. I had a good wrinkle emotionally after having a close family member in the hospital and out of touch for weeks during the quarantine. That has been the hardest difficulty in the last six weeks. This has pointed to more work to be done – how do you not let a child being sick not get to you? So my reactivity needs some attention.

I am going to be delving into TRE to see if I can shake some things loose. If you don’t know about TRE, do a search on my blog and you will find a very good video that I linked to that shows how to fine tune your body in order to release stored or repressed emotion. Do I need to remind you that it is this type of emotion that is giving you the most trouble? I can say with great confidence that your biggest challenges come from these submerged emotions, what you call “triggers.” It is a fact that when you do this release work, you will release not just the emotion but also the trigger effect. I will add that some triggers are also clusters of very similar traumas over time because individual trauma events are all recorded perfectly and individually. As a result, be patient. That said, clearing consciousness has been THE way to return to peace. Peace is our native state because our souls know that we are immortal and without limit and born from bliss.

Enjoy the meme-do you feel me?

UPDATE: 5/18/2020

I settled in last week and performed TRE. In fact, I watched a video I had posted a couple of years ago in order to get the finer points of one part of the method, which is a posture that stretches more of the base of the psoas, the muscle group that gets effected and where so much trauma is stored.

I got into the position in order to fatigue the muscles. I was in that position for five, ten, then fifteen minutes and those muscles just weren’t fatiguing! I thought how it would be great if I could have someone sit on my stomach in order to get those muscles fatigued and beginning to tremble!

I kept at it, and you know, it wasn’t happening. Instead, I began a psoas stretch instead. I took a low long stretch, alternating between each leg.

After the stretch and into the being before going to bed, I found myself feeling increasingly grouchy, emotional. This wasn’t a full release, but I went to bed knowing I was going to work on this again. Maybe find a weight to get my psoas muscles trembling!

*To learn more about the psoas and its role in stored trauma or emotion, search on this blog and you will be able to see images of the psoas and exercises that can be used to stretch that important muscle.  In India, they call it the seat of the soul, and based on how much early emotion that can be locked up into it, your destiny emotionally certainly appears to hinge on the health of the psoas. Want to feel more at peace? Working out the wrinkles in the psoas can have a role in some of it.

 

If you want to know where you are in cultivating presence and whether your quiet-mindedness holds up only because you know there will be something to relieve you of having to hold that “pose, ” now is a great time to test whether you are as far along as you thought. And no, this isn’t a competition. It is a test, and while it is easy to say where you think you are, the actual boots on the ground experience will be what actually gets to tell the story. And don’t beat yourself up over it if you feel you came up short.

I say this because in the beginning of my work, because so much was happening so quickly, I thought I was further along than I thought. I didn’t realize one release does not cure the whole system. It is one step, one erasure of something from the past. This is painstaking work. Be gentle, be kind, but also be honest with yourself.

Why?

I knew her before and after awakening. Her reaction to her awakening resulted in her going through all manner of meltdowns, most were in front of me. In each case she would say I was at fault for her preterbations emotionally. That of course wasn’t true, and as an observer it showed to me the sheer volume of emotional junk that she was dealing with and how she was going to deal with it going forward. I was able to see pretty clearly how she thought she was further along than she actually was. Everytime there was some release or some shift, a grand pronouncement was made. Everything was suddenly better I am healed!

On the one hand it was congradulations on the change, but the reality was there was still way too much remaining for her to be able to behave and feel without ripple, without upset, without problems. Let me be clear, we are human, and we are not going to be perfect. We also must rid ourselves of the old patterns in order for the presence of the higher self to come forward to aid and guide. It (the higher or core self) helps a lot, but you are still human and you are still having to deal with duality. So it is a balance. Each release makes something easier (whatever you were repressing). It doesn’t make the whole thing better necessarily. You have to want it. Repressed emotion will ALWAYS make you want something different from what you THINK you want.

What???

Be honest. Be true to you, no one else. Have compassion for yourself. This isn’t a race. Didn’t get everything you wanted to get done in this life? You can do it in the next one. Sure, challenging yourself can be fun, so do that if it is your bliss, but go easy on yourself. And still be honest, too. This may all sound unusual, but it is a good prescription. We have all time.

I wonder if she got to where she hoped she would be? I suspect she still suffers from that problem of overstating the cure. I think I served as a test for her development. Ten minutes with me would reveal all of the places that still needed work. Our connection meant that I could feel all the places that needed work. She was a real “fixer-upper.” I could feel her blocks because they were not mine, but I could feel them as if they were mine (except they weren’t-and this made it possible to know all of them).

In a similar way this pandemic can be the same test to see where you are in your work. Just wait for it until you start feeling hard or rough. Where did that come from? Ask yourself, your inner wisdom, to show you where it comes from and then wait. It might come in meditation, when falling asleep, taking a shower, who knows. It will show you if you trust it and are willing to place yourself in a blind spot. You are receptive, blind to what you think it might be. Sssshhhh…..

The blind spot is an ability to not know while letting another part, your subconscious perhaps, maybe it is superconscious, to do the work for you. It has the peculiar quality of feeling as though you yourself didn’t get the answer but something else did. I think it is you, but that is for another time. But it is imagining the problem having a string tying itself to some part of you deep down. You grab that string and it leads you down into the watery depths where the core self resides, or at least the source of this issue in you. This works only because you are going blind, only because you keep your rational concrete mind in ignorance. Then, once you reach its end, you just feel. Don’t rationalize now. That will not work. Feel. Sense. No judging. How did it start? Was it in another life? If so, it may show itself as its released. A feeling might bubble up. Let it go. As it does it might reveal its origins. If it doesn’t, that is okay too. It is gone, that is good enough. Some part that was hard is now easier. It is like a walkway made up of tessera, that is, mosaics. One piece might stick up more and you find yourself tripping over it over and over again. After you do this, it is easier in that one place (within you). So doing this work is like repaving a rough walkway of small mosaics. After a few years you notice a difference. It takes time. It is a labor of love. When you return, you will have a smoother foundation for a new story that will be easier. I promise this is how this works. When you reincarnate your foundation will be so much easier you will wonder why you didn’t discover and started using this sooner.

So what bugs you the most? Selfish people? Duplicity? Dishonesty? It will take looking into yourself first to turn that hard feeling into bliss. But you can do it, and I hope you do. You are worth the bliss it will bring.

-All My Blessings-

~Parker

How you feel is a choice. If you can see how feelings are just like thoughts you can see how you choose them moment by moment. You can then begin to choose different thoughts and feelings. This can lead to big changes after a period of practice. The first step is in observing your thoughts, getting in the habit of stepping back and watching yourself. This takes time to cultivate and isn’t the focus of this article.

If you have trouble with your feelings getting the best of you, take a cue from my cat Georgette. She is now 17 years old and she is rocking being present and being in her bliss. She is happy right were she is.

If you feel like you have lost your bliss let me know what’s not working, maybe our mechanic can help fix what ails you during this pandemic.

I have found that many people are confronting hard emotional material during this idle period. We are so used to going all the time. May I suggest that you use this time to quietly reflect. Learning how to silence the mind could happen at this time. Learning how you can use breath to assist you in shifting how you feel is of great benefit. You wont be changing the world until you change yourself….

Breath work is a singular technique incredibly useful in changing how you feel. It shuts down your busy mind and helps bring you to silence, calm, and if you are able to slow down enough, enter into something called Presence.

You want a breath that is deliberate, slow, with pauses at the top and bottom of each breath. The rate of your breathing should be about three seconds in, holding your breath for about two seconds, with an exhale at that same rate, with a one to two second pause at the end of the exhale. You can play around with this rate to find a rate that makes you feel most relaxed.

You will want to do this type of breathing for about 3-5 minutes at first, just enough to see how it is done and you begin seeing results.

If you don’t see any results at all, I reccomend placing all of your attention on your breathing and nothing else. Listen to your breathing. Take your mind off of whatever is normally occupying it. You may also need to do something that will relax you beforehand, like sleep or taking a warm bath or shower. You want to shift your mind away from the busy mind that you have become so accustomed to having. This will take some practice. It will take time. Once or twice is not enough. Trying this at the same time of the day can be helpful in establishing a habitual trigger that helps you to relax and quiet down.

Another version of this type of breathing is alternating nostril breathing. It is done the same way as our earlier breath except you close one nostril at a time to breath in and breathe out through one nostril only before alternating to the other nostril. I have done four breaths in one nostril before doing four in the other, as well as simply one breath per nostril. The point is in keeping the number of breaths balanced between each nostril.

You can also use imagery with your breathing. I often feel a shot of energy all through my body when I breathe like this, so I will think about my breathing and how it will stimulate my root chakra, sending a shot of energy through all of my other energy centers.

I might think about the energy ending up in a center I am thinking about only to find that the energy goes there, dutifully following thought. I then feel how that energy feels moving through my body, and I can learn a lot about the state of my own energy body, for instance by how the energy feels as it moves like this.

If a part of me feels tight or tense, I imagine directing breath to that location. It might take some practice, but it is feeling the energy generated through breath being sent to that location that does it for me The more vividly you can imagine it, the better it will work. Prana will go where thought goes.

If you slow down, focus on listening to your breath, and breathing nice and slow, you can find breathing rates that can bring calm and even bliss (if you keep going deeper). The clue that it is working is you will feel like you are out of your mind or body a little. You might feel weak-kneed and you might have a hard time focusing or remembering what you were thinking. This is the very state that you want. This is the threshold of the zen state, the practice called zazen, a cultivation of quiet single-mindedness. It helps bring peace. Be patient and feel free to ask questions.

I hope that this finds you well and my hope is that you will use this to help take the edge off of how you feel. Let me know how it goes.

~Parker

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Long before awakening came along for me, I had been seeing energy, called auras, for decades. I had studied energy and how it works in us for some time before awakening came. When awakening came though, there emerged a more complete and perhaps more direct and intense awareness of energy in all of its forms. Instead of just seeing the energy as I had done for years, I was feeling it, inside my own shell of perception. This is a perception that the late Jane Roberts trance personality Seth described 40 years ago as “Inner Vibrational Touch.” * Simply put, the sensory abilities that I had prior to the awakening event caused my inner senses that had already been used prior to be tripled in their strength at the least.

 

Some of my earliest perceptions as a consequence of my awakening was of an aspect of energy bodies better known as the meridian system. I saw these in others as well as myself (I had only seen a kind of fibrous character to the aura in the halo in the years prior to awakening with my ordinary energy sensing but now I was sensing the inner core of energy of all kinds). I didnt know at first that what I was glimpsing were meridians. I was doing this not with every person I saw. I was able to glimpse this through a particularly intimate or close connection that was forged as a facet of many awakenings that are referred to as the Twin Soul phenomenon. These are marked by a feeling as though one is sharing the same space as the other, that two consciousnesses are occupying the same psychic space even though they might be seperated by vast distances (in my case I had never met my “twin” in this life and she lived in another country).

In our encounters, which were less a willed process and one that simply was, I found  that my own inner proclivity to want to explore and discover manifested itself in my usng my newly enhanced third-eye perception to explore the physics of our bond. I wanted to understand why we were joined at the hip, so to speak, and why was it that thousands of others were also reporting the same phenomenon. I think I was able to see these meridian lines because of her and my initial close bonding.  Part of the experience was that the force of the draw was simply much too strong to resist, so instead of resisting, I went into it as deeply as I could in order to find out as much as I could about this experience (this blog is an outgrowth of those earliest of discoveries)

Very recently I realized that this perception of the meridians in the human body has a tie-in with what people describe as the “grid” or patterns in the universe. I was so not getting or even relating to all of this “grid” talk, mostly because the universe isnt a grid. I mean, if you look at it energetically, it isn’t. Instead, at the nano-scale, there are strands connecting everything to everything else in physical space, but this is seen at the subatomic scale mostly. The strands are so many that they wind up creating the appearance of a coherence…a glow rather than individual strands. Yet, this is the fundamental reality underlying this energy which is the necessity for a strand is based on laws related to physics (albeit energetically).

Since our bodies are made of matter and matter is energy, and because our consciousness is made up of aware energy (prana or qi), it makes sense to understand what we are dealing with here. I’m a guy who really loves to know how things work. I love how things work because I really want to know how I, a human, can co-create with the creative energy that pervades the whole universe ( and I know the energy is matter at a different vibration). That is it in a nutshell.

That said, the path to clearer seeing and perceiving is through a clarified self. To see clearly, the mirror must be polished, the glass must be cleared of its stain, the lake must be clarified of all of its muck to not only see into its depths, but to also see out of it. As a consequence, the inner work of clarifying, cleansing, and healing the distortions in the self are critical for a self that itself becomes the clear lense of inner sight (“insight”). The self must be cleansed of the forces that bias consciousness and misdirect attention. It is interesting that the force of awakening itself actually serves the purpose of helping to cleanse the self in this way. Followers, pilgrims, monks, and yogis through the ages have utilized the power of awakening to help cleanse the apparatus of perception so that they might see more clearly. The self, consciousness, becomes the telescope and microscope through which we can examine the world (and this includes the inner senses as well).

Doing this work leads to learning the difference between what I call the ego-compass and the soul-compass, which tends to point us in different directions (with the soul compass always getting us to the right place and cutting through the bullshit even if its the bullshit we have created for ourselves). We often tend to pick up the ego compass because it was such a central part of our thinking for so long, even if it led us into ditch after ditch. This is how we begin to adopt cosmic consciousness or cosmic mind. We learn that this so-called “false self” (boy I dislike that term!) is the same as this false or egoic compass. It is filled with things we desire, but those desires are driven by our distortions carried in our light body/consciousness . A real conundrum. Learning to detect the soulful compass from the selfish one can be a real challenge, but I have found that there are signs that help to identify it (both actually).

In the realm of energy, my eyes really were opened to a level I hadn’t quite experienced with seeing energy for years before awakening came. One of the first things that I found while existing in a state of union most of the time with a “soul twin” or “twin flame” experience was that I found that I would routinely use my inner sight to see her energy body. In truth, I coukd not always tell which was hers and which was mine sometimes.  I found that my consciousness would get very small and be able to see these strands of energy that moved through her whole body that looked like these white stands of light that looked a lot like nerve fibers. In fact, when I moved my energetic hand through them, I could feel them give and pull against my hand. They were kind of rubbery to my inner sense for energy. I also found that when I combed my hands through her field, it did two things. First, she would go into states of ecstacy, which she would complain of as being too much to take, to be able to feel, and still stay focused in the physical. Second, she would also go into opposite states that corresponded to what happens when we resist letting go of blocked energy. We have emotional meltdowns. I was there, combing her energy with my energy because I could feel how the interaction was so healing, but that it also was not the heady healing she was ready for. At this time, these meridians looked like white fibers. I was able to do this combing, a healing kind of massage, I guess, that I layer found was much like Reiki for how it was higher order energy and because I could do this from many thousands of miles away while it felt to her as though I was nearby The picture above is a poor representation of the strands I later saw, and how in earlier perceptions they were like veins or nerves, albeit energetic in nature and seeable only through the third eye. They were everywhere, down to the smallest level (cellular and subatomic) and up to the largest size along the torso.

If we fast forward a decade, we get to a point in my healing process where I have released a significant amount of material and I am finding that things are looking more and more different to me. What things, you might ask? Well, a lot of things really changed. For example, the release of so much emotionaly distorted stuff led me to understanding peoples’ behavior in relation to me in a much different way, which is that so much of what people think they see is the result of the distortions present in awareness. We assume so many things about how we think the world is or why people do what they do when in all truth we are judging based on each of our own inner rule book, which has nothing at all to do with what might actually be happening to the people in the world that we are seeing and judging (unknowingly). Our own inner distortions keep us from seeing things as the are, you see. That said, I am not suggesting that I am completely clear. I still have my work that I am actively engaged in, but increasingly, as I go from energetic event to energetic event, from one clearing to the next, my inner sensing has become much changed.

I knew that these white strands I had seen corresponded to the meridians in Chinese medicine. I saw that where each strand crossed another strand, ormwhere a branch moved into a central a channel, that there was always this little…chakra there, a vortex of energy. As each strand joined to still larger strands, these points got bigger and bigger, these chakras. Long before I knew anything about the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of chakras in the body, I was seeing many many of these points in the bodies of people who let me see them. I looked at my own, too, and it was when I was able to do this during a body work session with my healer that I was able to see something that I had never seen described in any of the literature….anywhere. Looking down at my body, I was able to see how each accupuncture/pressure point was actually made up of many other points all inside this one point. I saw in each strand also that the strand was not solid or monolithic but was instead made up of thousands and thousands of strands all within the same meridian itself. It was not unlike how it might look to see a bundle of fiberoptic fibers upclose. I could see some fibers within the meridian that were colored more darkly and I could trace that fiber back to a chakra point or meridian point down, say, into the leg or near the back, even though I was looking at the meridian going up the torso before it moved into the heart chakra, for example. I was able to see that everything in this meridian system was related to everything else and that all ofmit was delicately, masterfully, created as a portal for bringing in energy from the universe and spirit into our here and now. This energy could be for healing, for creating new technologies, for any number of things.

What came next was the realization that what was in us was also in the universe. Now, I knew that the torus field exists around every atom, every living being, and is also surrounding the earth, the sun, and also the galaxy, but so too is this thing everyone has been calling “the grid.” I just wasn’t making the connection! Tiny little torus’s that make up ever subatomic particle on up to living things, planets, suns, the whole shooting match. Making this connection helps to explain why it is that we feel everything as sentient and alive (because this living energy that runs through everything sentient and nonsentient is alive even if its in nonsentient matter….(as if THAT now makes ANY sense whatsoever!) It also shows that just as we have blocked energy in our bodies there can be blocked energy placed in the physical system, too. This manifests as troubled areas in the world where mostly humans fought or hurt each other and got energy stuck in the area where things took place. This can be released in the same way that we release stuck energy in ourselves.

I noticed that when I saw these energy points or chakras with all of these other smaller points from other strands or meridians within them, I realized that this was probably what was behind the depiction of chakras as many-petalled flowers. What I saw was a disc with many other discs within it. Each smaller disc was a strand from another chakra in the body, which means that our energy body is this interconnected, redundant system that takes the idea of connectivity to a whole new level. To say we were made for connection is an understatement! I had not read anywhere that a petal on one chakra corresponded to another chakra…but here I was seeing how these little ringlets or sphericules surrounding a pressure point were relating to a point in another chakra. Have you ever touched a point on your body and felt as though it was also touching another point further away?…as if you were touching two points, one physically and one energetically? It is very much like this in a way.

Now hang on: I want to stress something and I hope you can get what I am going to say. Inhave enough observations in thenworld of energy to know that since energy rides between one dimension and others, trying to get it to fall into neatly defined catagories is probably foolhearty to do. I have noticed that my perception will sometimes offer me something that is more like a hallucination, or an inner sensory creation in order to provide me information about the truth of what is going on. Many people who see auras describe them in a fairly uniform way despite the fact that the eyes cannot really see into that wavelength of energy! So what gives? The deeper truth here is that seeing auras is not a physical sense…at all. It is an inner sense. It appears that one is actually seeing this halo around the body when in fact, this is all just a seeming. Wait!! What?!! It is now widely known that when the brain is confronted with information that does not come from the five senses, it will plug that data into a sensory slot that makes the most sense to it at the time. Physiological psycholgists are familiar with this spectrum of behavior and itnis now well documented tha this does indeed happen. In  the case of seeing auras, the brain is aware of all of this information and it puts it into a visual center to be processed, even though it is not coming in from physical senses (this is how psychics can report hearing voices-claireaudience-as a means if speaking with thise who are no longer physical, for example). It seems that we are wired or designed for psychic senses.

As long as we carry powerful enough distortions in our fields of awareness, we will mistake our distortions for the truth. This is the risk we take. By learning how to FEEL fully and more deeply, we can begin to feel the deep innermost compass in our soul that will not err in directing each of us to the right place for our development and fulfillment.

I have also noticed that we can’t really examine these points beyond a third eye awareness and make much sense of them. Yes, we can objectively see where a strand or a chakra is blocked, but the path to unblocking is one that is not done objectively, but rather, subjectively. Subjectively how? By feeling, of course! By letting that rip-tide of near-orgasmic energy that is the bliss field pouring through us illuminate the blocks and push them on up and out, effectively transmuting the blocked energy into bliss energy! This is irrational. Forget your need or ability to control-like Shakti this is wild and free. This is through feeling that we do this. When you let this bliss flow and then shine that bliss into the darker corners of yourself or another, it begins to break up the blocked energy right away….unless the other resists it. And sometimes when we turn it on ourselves, we can actually feel the resistance building in us. But what I have found is that this is not cause for upset with ourselves, just see the resistance as a sign that points directly to where your next challenge in healing lies. A problem thus becomes your teacher….not just a problem to be solved or set aside (or worse; hidden). Some people have an amazing ability to hold onto old junk and keep from letting go their grip on the familiar in favor of the new human experiencing the cosmic (I count myself as one of these people with an extraordinary grip!). Anyway…

So we can use the rational mind to see things as they are if we can clear the third eye chakra. But seeing is not feeling, so be ready to feel the issue full-on with your whole energy body. But to feel clearly, I have found we each need to be clear….and to be clear, we really need to be honest with ourselves. I have seen how others have fooled themselves into thinking they were further along then they really were because of how their own work was used to fuel their often brutalized ego, which soaked up all the love and turned it into more of itself (which was ego-energy).

If you want a quick way out of the path of progress, just feed that ego. It will tell you all kinds of things, some completely true, but some remarkably distorted, about how things are. This is in large part because the small individual ego onlynhas access to your own localized belief systems that you have adopted in this life, it does not access as a matter of course the information from the superself or cosmic consciousness (which is where an even more expansive sense or superego resides that is involved in touching the others in cosmic encounters beyond ordinary consciousness) This is why it is so useful to be able to step outside of ego and into that silence of the self where the eternal stream of pranic bliss can be met and felt. It isn’t that ego is bad or evil. It is in fact completely necessary as a filtering device for phenomenon (trust me, feeling your neighbor stubbing her toe isn’t always the great experience-we are individual for a reason). Without ego, you would be completely overtaken with the flood of information flowing through the whole of the universe, which happens to also be flowing through you as well (we just feel it as “flow” instead of the gazillions of feelings thoughts and bitsmof information from everyone and everything else in the universe). Haven’t you ever felt that stream of energy-as-information? Have you sensed how it would be just too much for any one person to be completely aware of? Have you felt that overwhelming immensity, knowing that you were standing off to the side, like a person looking at an immense vista rather than merging with its totality? Well, that is what we do each moment of the day. It is also why the energy is orgasmic…it carries so much creative energy, which is naturally stimulating in nature. And by orgasmic, I mean energetically orgasmic, what the Buddhas have all known as bliss. To handle it all, and to experience individuality, we have the marvelous filter called ego. But we also have to be careful that it doesnt get inflated, right? By learning to side-step ego, cosmic consciousness can be experienced without it getting in the way. Some want to call this “ego death” which, having gone through what this is supposed to represent, I can say that ego does not die…only our dependence on its filling a central role in our lives dies or is refigured. No death, only life. More and more life!

I observed that the meridian system connects everything in the body, along energetic lines, together. This means that I saw how these lines exist all the way down at the subatomic level. This is what I mean when I said in the beginning that I explored the energy body of the one I was connected to at the early stages of my awakening. AsmI delved into the energy field, I saw that these lines went to finer and finer lines until the lines went into subatomic particles. Its really wuite a fascinating thing to see. At the level of the atom, these lines look different than the main meridians do. At the level of the meridians that travel along the trunk of the body, there are so many strands existing there from all the other things that the energy is connecting, that it looks like an artery when it is in truth made up of millions of individual strands, much like fiber optic cables that are bundled together. Further, the way a strand or “artery” feels in the torso is different from how it feels at the subatomic level. At the subatomic level,the force is very weak compared to the force of the overall auric field. Still, though, there is nothing quite so joyous as feeling what the “subatomics” are feeling every moment of the day. The capacity might be small at the subatomic level, but the force it connects to is very strong (the universe). When I have seen the strands at the subatomic level, they are much like spiders webs, except that the strand is made up of extremely thin strands of white light that has this slight glow around them. The glow from a distance in perception can be read as the strand itself, making it seem bigger than it is. Look closely and I saw that the energy was both field and particle all at once. It was hard for me to divide this perception…it was simply…both all at once. It had magnetic properties that made it possible to disrupt the flow while still maintaining the overall structure of the energetic field. If you cut off a finger, the field is not cut off, it reforms itself like the body does in order to heal.

Whether or not our own chakras corresponds to chakras that are in the physical system, like the earth or cosmos, I can’t say. I haven’t looked into it like this yet, but I am interested in doing so. I am also very interested in anyone who might have some observations that they have made along these lines. I do know that I have felt the energetic lines of the earth every day, and I have felt the energy of the sun and how it interacts with earth. I just haven’t sensed into these bodies or fields for the presence of these transit lines or points where they cross (aka chakras). Maybe in the universe it is on a different scale than our own bodies. I’m not sure that our chakra system is a carbon copy of anything except the human being. Maybe the transit system for energy is what is common, tying everything together regardless of how things connect together. I would love to hear your thoughts because you know how meditating on and noodling these things are…

 

* While in trance, Jane Roberts personality Seth described a series of inner senses which readers ofmthe Seth books could discover and use for better understanding the world and their place in it. Inner Vibrational Touch was described as picking up where empathy leaves off. Empathy suggests an ability to reflect on ones own past experience and infer what someone must be feeling. With IVT, it is possible to feel as the other person is feeling in that moment. One is able to tune into the specific vibration of emotion and replicate it within ones own perception. It thus feels as though one is experiencing directly what the other person is feeling (this is also consistent with the majority of people and their experiences with awakening).

For perspective, the Egyptian culture brought us the description and detailing of hundreds of inner senses, of which IVT is but one of many.

It’s very easy to get down on yourself during awakening, especially as it relates to those who are engaged in emotional release of conditioning. But even as you are, in the words of Peter Gabriel, “digging in the dirt” it does not mean you have to wallow in it.
It is entirely possible to learn how to take out the trash without messing yourself up in the process. This is not refusing to acknowledge what is there, it’s that the pranic force does not make it necessary to ever have to open that dirty trash bag. Toss it, exit the burning building, get out for fucks sake.

There. I said it. Indelicate though it may be, the truth here is that there is no honor in being a martyr to your past and you can grow up, step up, and exit the past and simply be done. You can wallow or you can keep on ascending, your pick. 
The presence of prana is the game changer, you see. Prior to this, what most people have is their rational minds and physical senses. If you allow prana to help you break through the veil of that awareness into the subconscious to find an expanding awareness of both intuition and feeling (not to be confused with emotion). It becomes possible to simply be done once a suppressed emotion has finally been recognized and processed so it can be gone forever (if need be).
There is a big difference between authentic cleansing and simply holding on to your trash while acting like you really are getting rid of it just as your hands clutch onto it for dear life. Or just shoving it down again.

This is why in many old traditions the teachers tell their students to smile as they meditate. I was explaining to my daughter yesterday that there are ways of triggering confidence, happiness, and even joy by learning how to fool your conditioned mind out of feeling negatively. It’s a radical idea: fake it until you make it

Buddha said that all change happens right now. You just begin. So change your thoughts. Now. Yes, you might return to sadness or loathing, or a dozen negative states, but you begin by bringing your mind to a new place and hold it there as long as you can. Then, over days and weeks, this becomes a habit. You remain in the new state longer and longer. You hold that feeling and eventually action becomes character, and character, in the words of Gautama Buddha, becomes destiny.Some miss that the only plan is what you intend and help manifest.

There will inevitably come a time when what’s left of your inner junk gets driven to the surface. It can no longer survive in the new you. Like bubbles rising from the depths, they are forced upwards and like bubbles surfacing, spread into the ether as though they were never there. They were nothing more than patterns you loved to hate that imprisoned you in a negative self-talk. Kick them to the curb. If it means repenting and changing your ways now, do so. Fake it until you make it. Time itself will see to it that change comes. And it will.
Is this an inauthentic way to heal or grow? I ask you; is it fake to allow yourself to be as happy as you can muster? This happiness will show you where you still need work. It will. So let it be, and the process will take care of itself and you. Joy will create the contrast you need to see the shadow. There are indeed millions of ways to address awakening that are already authentic and beneficial and can work very well. They have for me.
In Indonesia they teach meditation with a smile. In time, you will find more of the smile to be genuine. Their way might just be quicker and involve less misery. You are constantly reminded of the power of the positive in each moment.
It’s hard enough facing shadow. There is always a reason to be happy and thankful for just being alive here at this pivotal time.

So yes, there will be a time when you know the smile may not be real. But you aren’t doing this to be fake, you are doing this to change, to steer your boat into a new direction.

The Sea Of Sorrow-A Lesson In Sadness

About six years ago I was going through a highly accelerated process in awakening. I had asked for change and I got it. I went through this ego death, a rearranging of the self that moves ego to the back of the bus. During this time I began to encounter a vast stretch of my spiritual ocean I referred to as the “Sea of Sorrow.” Intuitively, I thought my job was to process this sorrow. So I did. Like a man in a boat, I tried to cry out all of the sorrow I felt rising up around me. This went on for over several months. I cried every day, trying to tap deeply into this vast sea.
I realized that this sea that I was feeling could not possibly be mine alone. There just wasn’t that much sadness in my past. I realized once I  stepped back that this belonged to all of us, this vast sea of sorrow. When you awaken, the consciousness you awaken to is that of collective consciousness and how everything is connected. I realized there was no way to process all of it. So I stopped. It had become habitual by then. I weaned myself off over a matter of a few days and steered my own boat out of that sea. I left. I didn’t return. I left and found myself on much calmer waters. My mind changed, clearing. That great sadness became a memory. And there will come a time when fewer years are added to this sea by virtue of fewer people who choose to shed their tears. They choose joy instead of sorrow. And in time, that sea will itself sublime into the ether. It will become a distant memory and anyone who dares return will only find a dry valley where once there were tears. It will have lost all of its magnetic charge on us because it no longer means anything to us.

Do you see how it can be for you?
You choose.

So it’s possible to choose bliss and when you feel this bliss constantly like I do, that bliss alone heals. It heals all the hard places in you. If you think you can heal this neurosis by wrestling with it, by fixing or fiddling with it, you are mistaken. This neurosis is circular and is madness. It feeds on itself and seeks others to raise the same banner as it sadly does, with vigor and passion. There is no rationalizing with it. So? You quit it. You walk away. You become a quitter. 
You quickly begin to forget what it was like to feel like shit and remember instead how perfect bliss is. And one by one you are healed of one conditioned neurosis after another.

Tantra, the core tantra, is about bliss and how it literally can heal you. When you surrender completely and deeply enough, that bliss will penetrate to your cellular DNA  and work out the blocks that are there. This is what kundalini does all on its own as it is. The bliss, as you let it in, heals as deep as you dare to go. This, the soul of tantra, heals your shame, your guilt, and brings you to a place where you just have no more fucks to give. 
There. I said it again. 
You just slip deep into bliss and as you do, it’s as though cell by cell, the magnetic quality of bliss rewires your brain, nervous system, and body. You find yourself wondering just what you were so concerned about moments earlier. This is the beginning of repatterning your brain so you no longer “go there.”
This is the power of tantra, the orgasmic bliss that is the healer. You can feel it with or without sex. And not everyone is ready to harness it for sex. It can be enough just to heal the psyche. It isn’t about sex, you see. It is acknowledging what you are, your incredible capacity to hold this riotously sensual feeling inside until you explode over and over. 
Like Osiris, prana helps you to get put back together a better way.
No, you do not need to roll around in your own garbage just to get it out. You can be happy. You can take each moment microsecond by microsecond, building a powerful wave that is joyous instead of sad.

It’s up to you. I ask, which would you prefer?

~Nemaste!
UPDATE: this morning I experienced an example of something mentioned in this post. I have noticed that over the last few years when I awaken in the morning I experience this odd jolt of transition that I never experienced before having experienced awakening (kundalini). I have noted several people so far who have mentioned this same experience who themselves have gone through awakening (all on their own-no prompting from me) so I am getting the sense it’s fairly normal once you reach a certain stage in the experience.
This is a feeling of dread almost. It’s not the greatest feeling. This morning, though, as I rose from dream I had a smile on my face, thinking about what I had written here, and was keen to see how it might work. I am happy to report that it worked very well indeed. Give it a try. 

waterish

How do I tell them

that you dwell in all of the smallest

and thus through the All?

How do I tell them how You exist everywhere

in everything

utterly ubiquitous

seemingly silent

except for how present you are?

How do I tell them

that the path to initiation

is by way of joining the

Two Currents

of thought

feeling

brain

mind

and archetype,

and that nothing less

will reveal

your presence

to them?

How do I tell them

that their religions have been poor substitutes

to the glory

wonder

and awe

that is you?

How do I tell them?

How do I utter your secrets?

The problem

is there are no secrets.

We have chosen to close our eyes

our inner-seeing eyes

whilst looking outward

through eyes made

of gross matter only

chosen that as the truth

forgetting that it was the Creation

not the soul that inhabits that Creation.

Who can be bothered to seek deeply

only to find

everything is a prop

a stage set for a story whose plot contains

a diminished message

while a deeper truth abides

curled inside of everything.

It takes real inquiry

honesty

and so simply

the doors do open…..

To know the One

focus your attention

on the smallest place within you.

At the smallest level is where

the One rushes in

and inhabits all of us

quietly

and without our permission

or knowledge

like ancestral DNA

whose voice can be heard

beneath the soft sigh of imperishability.

It is below normal awareness…..

its power is so strong

that once awakened,

you should be ready

for a new life to form

filled with meditation and practice

to working to release your inner resistance

to the work it will do in you….

thus the old life can change so much.

With the two currents awakened in your awareness

you can join two “eyes” of your being

into the one eye

which initiates a flow all through you

and undoes you

that you might know

see

feel

and abide

in your riches.

It is near the third eye where the currents

flow one into the other

naturally

continuously

and the only one who has not known this

has been your concious awareness.

This is the point or merging

opposite forces

into one

for the sake of Creation

the Dance

that returns and supports

all creations.

This is the rebirth

the ressurection

the awakening

to a new life

as though the flesh were dead

and which is now alive,

more alive now than ever.

Here,

mysteries can be known

felt

experienced

like a contiguous map

or landscape

uncompounded

consistent

whose golden thread

runs through everything

and can be illuminated

when you bring

both sides

of reason

and irrational

imagination

concrete

the warm

cold

full

void

into unity.

When these twin forces merge

everyone experiences

what can only be described

as an extreme state of bliss

that is orgasmic

and which releases

this energy all through the body

to heal

cleanse

and return it back to love

so that this bliss

is used for larger purposes

like enlightenment

illumination

and ressurection.

Here is where it begins

a fine thread

you grasp

that takes you through itself.

No images exist here

but pure spirit

will carry you to worlds

beyond this one

but straddles all realities.

The thread will take you to every answer

your mind seeks

all origins

and being.

A vast library is built of this thread

the one living invisibly within us all,

threaded through all thought,

all action,

all events,

all matter

and all that was

or shall be.

You shall inherit this

upon Initiation.

Touch this Presence at its smallest

within you

and you will know it

outside of you

through all things

for we are all connected by this thread

of golden awareness

linked to imperishability

and new life.

You do not need to believe anything.

This exists before all dogma

all belief

and will correct all wrong thought

when you submit yourself to It long enough

to wear away the stones cast into your heart

and sou…..

There are so many hurdles

Errors which we each have created

lifetimes of them

and yet

the world of them will come toppling down

when we each enter more deeply into this force

that is love

that is your emanation

your presence

your life

within us.

Join the two

open your whole being

let it invade you

and undo you.

You needn’t be afraid

for each of us who are already awake

will be standing silently within you

as your eyes open

to this new world…..

Your vision will slowly clarify

as you are healed

of your error

and you will see clearly

more and more

like swimming slowly

up from murky depths

to the light.

This can take a lifetime to clear

or only moments

and when the Two are joined

a current will begin to move in you

restoring you

to the original state.

Here,

you use both reason

and imagination

like a man and woman

hand in hand

in close union

with respect and care for the other

left and right brain

Shiva and Shakti

Yang and Yin

together

nonantagonistic

moving evenly in peace

which produces

immense pearls of bliss,

further healing you from past error

and illusions.

These things were once spoken secretly

behind stone walls

and only to the ‘elect.’

It is time

that we see

that it is time

for this teaching to be opened up for all to know

the good new spread far and wide…..

but who shall have the eyes to see?

Those who are ready

can inherit it

but only by joining irrationality

feeling

fluidity

with the rational

and solid

for the new Arrangement

to take form,

the mystical marriage

of the Alchemists.

This is the only Initiation

that has ever mattered.

Who then shall hear?

When then shall see?

A goodie….from 2010 re-published here from my sister site Divine Alignment on blogger…

As I align to HIM
I feel you
deeper
stronger.
more present
The truth of this
shimmers in the moment
as I round corners
faster
seeking it
every breath a reunion
as every pulse of its being
mirrors the multiverse
as awash we are
in locks and keys
each particle of our being
unleashing an infinite possibility
as the secret
the alchemy
is worked
and energy is released
and one more great lesson is experienced
in the moment
as the compass of certainty
turns us round the inevitability
of our becoming
and the certainty
becomes its own end
without an end.

I shall hold you
in this purposeful embrace
as secrets move
wordlessly
between us
as lips
sealed
but hearts wide open
speak of an unbelievable truth
felt as bliss
known as the love we have inside
love is all there is
after all
as end meets end
and the dawn of beginnings
rises
like the sun
scattering stars
in the lost night of soul

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