Archives for category: Belief

In the work of awakening, the great stumbling blocks we encounter are the things we resist. And what you resist is what persists.

The road to wholeness and happiness is in the singular awareness that no matter what troubles you in your life, it all comes down to an inner resistance deep within. It does not seem that way when we get upset by the events and people in our lives that upset us, but what’s unsettling you is an inability to see and respond to things as they are. When you are able to see things as they are, without your own inner dialog running, you can much more easily accept that things are happening not to unseat you from your bliss, but that you are resisting the world as it is. You probably wont change the world, but you can change yourself, which is what inspires others to want to change, and many people all doing this in their own back yards helps to sow seeds of change. People have their own reasons for doing what they do that most often has nothing at all to do with you, but is more a story all their own. When you can honestly give them real space to be, resistance ends and we can accept that none of what upsets us is personal. We choose to be hurt. We choose to be angry. Most often, we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel in each moment, though. This is resistance. Expect the feeling to persist many times each day. Or you can let it go. Was it really so important to your ego. Really?

All the great teachers taught how important it was to chang the mind. Even Jesus did so. Jesus is often thought to have used the word “repent” as the key term for shifting the tide, but he (along with John the Baptist) actually used the word Metanoia, which means to change ones mind. Call it a translational error, but if you ask me, its a significant clarification that really casts more of Jesus teaching in a new light. But I digress. The point is that all of the great teacher saw, experienced, and knew that we all have a capacity to remove thinking of one kind much the same way a mask of thinking or believing is removed (often with the effect of revealing a deeper layer of being and thinking that’s more original to our nature in the process).

So I ask you, how do you see things differently? It is all in how you choose to see it—the power is in your mind! Choose a different conclusion, choose a different assumption. It only seems hard if you have never tried.

How many times did you have something happen where you assumed an outcome that was completely wrong once you learned more about it later? We make all kinds of assumptions that are based more on who we are rather than how things are in the world. I have seen myself do this more times than I care to admit. But I do learn from them when they happen. It’s done by reflecting on events from the past and assuming the events are following the same pattern, but nothing is ever quite the way we think it is, especially from the past and how we have responded to it emotionally as we color it the way it suits us.

Now what if you could rewind the tape and assume differently using a whole different mindset? Maybe you try not to judge anything until you speak to the people involved, or until you check your messages, or gather more information. All of this behavior I’m describing says nothing about the world, it’s only saying something about you. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of similar assumptions before. Maybe you know what it’s like to have someone do that, completely convinced of the utterly fallacious script running in their heads, right? So change it on your end and it will be one less person doing this. Your greatest gift is who you are. What kind of you do you want to be?

I was once told a dream this guy had. It illustrates resistance and acceptance so well. In the dream, my friend would encounter werewolves. This dream would happen over and over. It bugged him. These werewolves would show up as these slobbering wild men who would transform into these beasts, menacing and chasing him all night long. It was really getting old and he needed a solution to this nighttime delimna.

One night my friend was in his dream and he saw these men coming through the woods. They had just transformed and came rushing up at him. The chief werewolf got up in his face. He was still wearing, of all things, his sunglasses! As my friend looked closely, he could see his reflection in the glasses. What he saw surprised him; he could see that he too was a werewolf! He could see his own teeth gleaming in the reflection as the other werewolf smiled with a grimacing set of teeth. My friend, realizing all of this, gave a chuckle and took off with the pack, howling and running like the wild things that they were. Oh, and after that, my friend no longer had another werewolf dream.

I can’t speak for him, but I think one thing is clear; our dreamer was resisting something about himself which morphed into fear and scary dreams about an aspect of himself he had been resisting. Once he accepted it, he integrated it into himself, making it a conscious (rather than subconscious) part of himself. Maybe he was afraid of what it might mean if he was a werewolf. But instead, accepting it freed him of fear and the trouble it caused and he saw these werewolves were all just out having a grand old time. He learned, I think, that what he resisted wasn’t about what he thought at all. He integrated or accepted it, and thus was free.

So for our dreamer it might have been fear of his wild side. For you, it might be something else. It could be any sort of fear that drives you…and very often these issues come down to fear of some kind. A fearless person is calm, gentle, easy in themselves. They dont jump to conclusions. Maybe you fear a seemingly thoughtless person. But let me ask; if they are being thoughtless, how could it be that they are being this way just to upset little old you? Let it be, give it acceptance, maybe see that it was in you all along, and you will see it all melt or fall away like a house of cards. It means being willing to change your mind, to change how you see it. Then, poof, like magic, it evaporates and any negative charge it had is gone because you changed it. This is the essence of all clearing of the consciousness to help reveal the true self shining within. And this self is more free to express itself. Energy moves more freely when you are not so resistant to an aspect of yourself that remains unhealed. You are, afterall, a conduit for an energy that was called “the water of life.”

“Be like water, my friend.” —Bruce Lee

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Recently I shared some information about the issue of energetic entities titled “That Parasite.” Since writing it there has been some interest in going into this further in regards to the how of releasing these from your field.

 
There is a panoply of entities that can be drawn to people for numerous reasons, but entity attachment all boils down to one very simple factor, which is a vulnerability that is in the form of an unhealed place in the self, a repressed trauma or resistance to something that now creates a recursive merry-go-round effect that is a karmic issue.

 
I write about this a lot since it snags the majority of people on the planet and holds up the process of embodiment-learning from and becoming more like ones higher self. But this article wont go into the many types of beings except that there are as many as there are wounds in people here on Gaia. Instead, I want to focus on the core issues that I hope will lead you to your own greater awareness so that you can call upon your own resources.

There is tremendous benefit in ridding yourself of these subtle energetic influences. I know because I did it. If I can, so can you.

 

First Things First

I will begin by saying that I really do not buy into rituals or tools or trappings of any kind for energy work. I prefer a direct approach because my own healing was achieved in this way. We are souls that exist through all time and dimension-tools are not required.

Having said this, belief is a funny thing. It serves as a channel that regiments and forms experience, and if you believe you need a tool, belief will make it hard to do otherwise (unless you examine your beliefs and change them). So if a tool gets you in the right space, use it. But you have had the power all along…

 

The Two Pillars

I do feel that all of this is incredibly simple and it’s based on intent and feeling. These are the two pillars of this work. You need to be clear about what you want(intent) and you need to break out of your rational mind set and enter the magical realm of the imagination and of feeling.  This is NOT emotion.  This is your capacity to become increasingly more sensitive to psychic energy…which is the energy of your consciousness.  If you are sensitive to your own energy and can feel it, you can feel others, including the presence of others, both etheric entities and the minds of others who enter your field just by thinking of you. So this is not just any feeling, which probably sounds terribly vague. I will explain this as I go along.

Seeing It Anew

First, realize that entity removal is not hard. It can be incredibly easy. I will explain what makes it hard as well as easy.

What makes it hard is simple -it is one of several things: fear of the entity (like how we might fear a dog or an unknown), uncertainty about our ability to make the change, a spiritual/emotional wound that’s troubling, and being unable to shift awareness out of a rational “doing” mindset. Having a sense of mystery only invites fear and fear brings uncertainty and that scatters your effectiveness. There is nothing to fear or to be anxious about. This only gives the entity more standing and power. This is not a physical “fight” but a spiritual one.

It does no good to think on how Hollywood has handled entities. All of this is way off the mark. I know that there are accounts of possession by entities and the stories make their way into horror stories, but they are horrific partly because of the people, that is—the priests, who make all of this more than what it needs to be. The posture or attitude of the healer will always have a defining effect. And I will point out that most entities are simply lower astral forms, fragments and cast-off’s from humans and other forms of consciousness. Some are just undeveloped and in the process of becoming. They are simple and most often attach to people based on just a couple of emotions (most often). But how you approach them either gives them energy or sends them on their way.

What makes all of this easy is when you allow yourself to stop fearing them and see them for what they are.  They do not belong, yes, but they have also attached to you because of an opening in your field, what in sanscrit is called a samscara, or soul wound.  Your soul wound affects the consistency of your energy field, or aura, and this is most certainly tied into the major energy system known as chakras.  You can make all of this easy or hard.  If you bring fear into it, then guess what; hard!  Or even thinking that this is going to be hard will actually create a situation that is a self fulfilling prophecy.  I’d like to explain the hard stuff a little more because I think people will need some guidance on this issue.

A Little History…

Years ago my sister complained of a ghost that had been involved in some poltergeist activity in the house where we lived. It was at first hard to believe until I began to encounter  it myself. It was something like a trouble maker it seemed to me and I wondered how to deal with it. I decided, along with my sister, that we would try to contact this ghost or presence to see if we could bring a change. We drew up a make-shift ouija board on a sheet of paper, made a pointer from the ring of a flashlight and got to work contacting this being.

We didn’t have to wait long. In he came, full of bluff and bravado. We found out that he had lived in the house in the earlier part of that century and had died from diptheria. He was unable to move on…or some part of him remained. This was the cause for the psychic disturbances happening in the house and the poltergeist activity.

We probed him about why he did what he did, and clearly, he got a kick out of it. As we talked to him and explained how he seemed stuck there in the house, we noticed a change taking place over the weeks that we were in contact. I asked him if he had ever tried connecting to his higher self, had he ever thought of life beyond the house he was in? And then a shift happened. It was rather sudden but it was noticeable.  It had to do with his becoming aware of “Light”and from that time forward, everything about our haunting fellow changed. He came in and out, and was less present as he had been. He stopped the really spooky stuff he had done and seemed to be changed. The change though was sudden, like on a dime. The thing is, this is how it is with everyone (like flesh and blood people).  This is not some kind of bullshit story from Hollywood where the entity makes the bed lift up with a glowing red light under it. No.  Its like going to the dentist and he takes out a tooth and has it done before you realize its already done.

 

And one small aside….when my sister and I did our contact using our home made board, we didn’t light candles.  We didn’t dim the lights.  We did everything out in the open, full daylight because HOW YOU FEEL has everything to do with the outcome.  Nothing ever got weird or scary because we never went there.  We were just with someone who got a kick out of scaring people probably because he was bored stiff and stuck like a tick without any guidance that he was stuck. You see, once you die, time changes.  Years can go by and you have no clue.  You are out of that space time flow, even though you are coincident and focused on that place you are stuck in. And this wasn’t the whole soul of the person, it was simply an aspect, a single lifetime or a part of that person. This is most often how “hauntings” actually are.

The poltergeist stuff stopped and there has never been any more activity since we had our chats. It is perhaps for this reason that I think that a lot of what we think as scary and mysterious is only this way because we are feeding that emotion into it. And the only thing I would do different now is I wouldn’t need to use a board for contact, I would simply talk to his soul. I have known for years that there is almost always another story. I think that this experience set me up to be able to approach things the way I have, and its been very succesful.
In awakening the issue of lower dimensional entities came up in my awakening and I am here to share what I have learned, stripped as bare as possible of opinion or guessing.

Understanding & The Myth Of Protection

The first thing is…….Don’t fear them. Instead, understand them. Know what motivates them if you want to heal and release them. Is it fear that they like to create? Is it anger? Is it sexual energy? Self loathing? Whatever it is, the entity feeds on you when your wound is activated. And a wound is most often a trauma or experience you never got over and suppressed it where it then festered and created a problem of emotional dysfunction of one kind or another. It is, though, buried, and takes a good deal of grace to tap into to learn more about. It takes honesty. You will often known what emotion they feed on because of your reaction.  Is it over the top?  You might want to look more closely at that!

The more you heal these wounds, the fewer hooks these entities have to grab you with.Healing makes your energy field “slick” so nothing can snag it or grab hold. This is why I explain that most efforts people make to shield or protect themselves is simply nonsense. It’s bullshit. Sorry, but it is. The concept of psychic protection is pretty useless when you consider we are all one, all connected, related, and live in and communicate through a vast network or field of energy that is the body of the Prime Creator, or all that is. Everything we do is in truth like an open source event where the information is open to all. Certainly the self can choose to hide or create a notion of privacy in the physical, but the ether is not made this way, you see. Its all in the open.

The way to protect yourself is to raise your vibration so that lower  entities can’t latch on in the first place. This requires hard work and soul searching. Know thyself. And now to know the beings…

So lets say you don’t know what the entity’s game plan is, its own personal zeitgeist. Can you identify how it makes you feel?  If you can do that, you can know more both about your wound and what the entity feeds on. You simply observe. Watch over time and garner a good series of observations. The trick that gets played is that of second guessing, “Was that me or an influence from an entity?” You will know through observation—do you feel like you lose control over an emotion easily? While not a test that is 100% accurate, it can point you in the right direction often.

I once had a spouse who had, and still has, an entity that is latched on to her that feeds on her anger. I could feel it when the entity came alive in her because there was a distinct heaviness that would fill the room that differed from her own usual vibrational signature. Her emotional outbursts were also much more prolonged when this entity came forward or was activated. When I mentioned my observations to my very sensitive daughter many years later (we talk about this stuff sometimes), her face lit up—she had felt the same thing. These are not our reactions to an action in a person, they are perceptions. Learn to tell the difference and trust your feelings.

Sometimes an entity will be attached to a given center or chakra in the body, but they will be attached to a center only because there is a block or wound there. By knowing or feeling them there, you can read up on what that center is all about and then consider that the block or wound is resistance to the perfect positive flow for that center. A heart block could be resistance to compassion, love, or self-love in some way. It could cause anger, frustration, sorrow, all depending on the nature of the original first event of resistance that created the wound or block in the first place.

Some entities, you might notice, will move around in the body (those most closely associated with the body types). In the early stages (first three years) of awakening some of you will feel them as though they are physically moving around inside your body (this is also part of seeing or sensing objects or movement in your peripheral vision that often looks like shadows). I know how that sounds, but it is much ado about nothing. But until you clear them, you may feel sensations like something moving. And if not moving, then other energetic effects. I would not describe these as real as if it was physical, but is more “like,” or “as though.” You will of course sound completely crazy to any “normal” person who has had no experience along these lines.

These sensations are an attempt by the brain to translate messages it gets that are from the pranic side of our experience. It is translated into something that makes sense to us at a sensory level (and so the range of effects can be broad potentially). Regardless of how the entities present themselves, they remain until you heal enough to remove them.You can also remove them and then heal faster. There are numerous other sensations possible, and if you use your feeling self, your inner senses, you can become more adept at feeling their movements or presence. The only advantage in doing this is to understand them and yourself by knowing or being more aware of what is happening and where to focus healing.

Some entities are not so much in the body as associated with it.
Realize that these beings do not orient themselves with respect to physical reality the way we do. Theirs is a world measured in intensities and feelings. There is no distances for them, only relationships. They ride streams of energy the way a radio broadcast rides on a radio wave. They move through time like we move through space. Some are connecting to you through multiple lifetime streams. Some are generational and are tied to sometbing nown as family karma. Often the women of a family will have one kind of entity while the males will have a different kind that are often similar to one another. They will often grow to attract people who have entities like the women in their families. These will not be related through direct energetic lines but will be related only because the samscaras in everyone in the family are so often related. The beings do not create the wound, you do. They are in many respects multidimensional and slip between worlds because they do not take bodies by incarnating. They instead take up residence in your own body or field. Their landing pads can be our bodies. 
They are in the process of learning how they can be autonomous and able to draw sustaining energy from the universe…whether they know it or not. They will learn quicker if we offer them the opportunity through support to know their connection to Source. I am suggesting that you at least help them in being more aware…..to the degree that they are able.
I dont think you will be used to hearing his message given in this way, but the time for “fighting” demons is over. This type of process will always lead to trouble. This paternal or more male way of approaching it has run its course. We are now bringing in the power of the feminine aspects of the self, and this means that instead of pushing them out, we now pull hem in and help them transform. Instead of being pushed out, we pull them up and help them transform. Instead of pushing out, we coaxe them up and thus out. They are given the awareness that they are connected to Source…and without putting them on the defensive, we give them a gift. We dont struggle and fight, we bring peace and perspective. The old way is based on an incomplete understanding how things can be.
True protection is in not having an enemy to fight. The message that the Matrix movies struggled to say is that there IS no war except the one we are creating…but they fell short…so close…and when Neo overcame the Smiths by embracing them and their system in order to seed that part of ourselves with new awareness. Well…they were so close, but the fighting raged on because the writer was stuck in the old even as he was trying to embrace the new.

There is some suggestion that kundalini/awakening serves to create a sheath of protection around you. The Gnostic tradition goes into it.  This is old stuff. Its also not correct either. You are simply more aware now, or potentially so. I know numerous people who many years into awakening continue to harbor these presences. One is on her way to being a healer while carrying around two very troublesome entities. Its easy to think you have suddenly become a master of the universe when you awaken while not tending to removing these things. Doing so, though, accelerates your own development and helps to drop your reactivity to a host of issues. It can, in some cases, change the nature of events.

I once had a worker who had an entity not unlike one that I removed from the person I once thought was my soul twin. I swear, it was like some kind of convention. The whole time he was working for me the strangest most innexplicable things would go wrong to shut down production for weeks at a time. It was persistent and chronic and did not change until he quit working for me. While this was going on, I was having dreams that were showing me the subtle ways that these more advanced beings control events by hooking into our energy and the space/time flow of our lives. And why? To what end? To keep up an environment that is what they like or are familiar with. If you were born in strife and only knew strife, you too might seek strife unknowingly. You might create opportunities for it to occur only because its a pattern that is familiar to you. This is one way that they operate. Its really about what their comfort level is. Its upsetting to us because much larger parts of us are healed and intact, with only portions of ourselves having a weak spot, which is where these beings are attracted.

The Role Of The Healer

A healer can help if they themselves do not bear a similar wound as the person they are healing. Otherwise, they will be ineffective. It is also possible that they dont know how to remove them. It is  possible to attract a healer who has similar problems as you, in which case whatever needs healing probably wont be healed in the way you had hoped. It is also possible to attract the perfect healer for that moment.
The healer who worked with me explained that she saw definite patterns or correlations between what she was working on and the clients who came to her over the years. Bear in mind, her business was built on word of mouth, she does very little to actively seek out clients, they instead seek her.
When she was dealing with ghost phenomenon, she was having a lot of clients who were having “ghost” issues too. When she was able to resolve the issue she was having with this phenomenon, the people with ghost issues also went away. This happened over and over for her and helped her to see how the world becomes like a mirror to us.

What a healer does best is by communicating via the body-the light body to be exact. What they do is they read you, see where the problem is, and then they show through feeling how you can feel without the entity there. This is what my own healer called “surrogating.” She didnt have entity issues because she had done the work to get there, so she could supply the feeling telepathically of what a clearer field feels like. This is one of the central skills of a healer. It is also why I do not seek healers, I ask for the healer who is in my highest to come to me. I dont  push the river. But when I do it this way, miracles happen. I have had some of the best and most perfect healers appear in places that are almost unvelievable. Two out of three of these healers wound up either teaching or working within a few blocks from my home, for example. When I give up control the universe is free to create with me the most optimal and perfect type of events to help move me to the next step or level. By trusting in the wave in pranic force, you can have amazing things happen that feel miraculous only because they happen so fast and are so easy. You just have to be open to it and have no beliefs that compete with it that will muddle or throw the energy off. Anyone can do this. It is simply going from seeking/initiating to receiving/allowing.

She and I communicated energetically like everyone does all the time in day to day life (and are often unaware that they are doing so) but in this case she was focused very simply in her state of freedom when the healing work was being done. I began picking up on this because I was receptive to what she was doing. It is true that this kind of healing can happen while enjoying a cup of coffee, or talking on the phone. Most of the healing was done at a distance of thousands of miles.

All of this is being done at the level of energy, and energy is nonlinear, has little or no mass, and is not always bound by space/time. This means healing can be done very easily from a distance.

Receptivity is important on your side as the one being healed, just as the healer being neutral is important on their end. By neutral I mean that they are not getting an ego boost from this work. Receptive means your intuitive mind is active and you are feeling and not being stuck in your head with strings of rationalizing. You get empty and quiet, save for a sense of excited expectation. You get into body focus, the domain of the light body, which is where feeling resides. You are ready.

Then the healer swaps your perception….by their simply being them. You might not even know this is happening because we are all so used to being in our heads. You have to relax and let your guard down. This will not feel foreign in any way.You probably wont notice it. It is like a dance teacher who uses their hands to show you how to move your leg, or arm, for example. The move will be completely your own….just as how you feel will be completely your own as well.

Then, if you are ready to make a change, you will begin to be aware of the entity (s) in some way. This might happen right away, it could happen later, or in dreaming. Whatever avenue is best suited to your turn of mind, it will come.
Once you see them as they are, these beings cannot stay if your desire is for them to leave. The very act of awareness on your part begins the shift into healing and the vibratory rate changes (often piecemeal, but it changes nonetheless).

The healer lets you remove these by way of this new awareness they have given you. You are the healer. And this is the mark of a good healer; they bring you awareness and you do the rest. They are reminding you how you can feel inside by associating with you. And Their field of energy is used as a template, a reminder, for how you can be or feel. It is this change that is the initiation of healing. We pattern our children in the same way just by how we feel. Yes, actions count, but this persistent field of influence has a significant effect on people, you see.

This is why I can, for example, trigger the ability to see auras in another person, something that has happened a number of times in the past. It is merely a transmission of a pattern of energy that a person accepts. It is almost like a piece of code that then runs in them the same way it ran or worked in me. It is also how awakening energy is “transferred” from person to person. It is receptivity to a pattern, a line of code that gets taken on and allows for something new to be experienced. In many ways this is the fastest way to awaken, which is to be around the awakened. Just be aware of how you are attracting. If you attract based on something unhealed in you that is not healed in them, this can get magnified or reinforced during awakening. It isn’t always that a pattern is being transferred, but that there is something in common that gets magnified. I have found this happening to me in a soul connection, which was extremely difficult, and led to my having to part ways with this person because of how hard the hurt that was unresolved was. It pays to be observant of the deeper dynamics. Your feeling self, that clear voice, will tend to guide you very well if you don’t over think it.

Miraculous healings are the result of changing large sections of this “code” in ourselves. It can lead to immediate changes. Sometimes the healer does something to create a trigger point for the acceptance of the change….it could be belief, it could be ritual movements,crystals, music, beads, just about anything. Really, anything will work if faith is put into it. Faith or belief becomes the portal for change. But objects are not necessary; awareness of energy and seeking the highest is. Remember Jesus saying how it was the faith that had healed the man? That is the same thing taking place.

These beings do best when they keep their head low. They often fly under the radar. They cant rock the boat too much or they could find themselves homeless, so they often try to keep in the background..
I know people completely unaware that they harbor an entity. Not all are expressly negative, but they will always be holding a person back from greater growth in some way.
For some of you, you might feel like an entity most certainly does not fly under the radar, but this might well be because it is being triggered so frequently. Deep down, these beings don’t know how to be any different. Also, this level of activity can point to how active your own wound is.

When my healer began to talk with me over the phone, we were talking about the issue while I was driving in the car. It was a suggestion she made that I would become aware that an entity was there. Before she could finish her sentence, up popped a face in my third eye. I was surprised that it would work so fast. The face looking back at me didnt look human, and boy was it pissed! My inner sight showed five presences there with one main being resting near my heart center. As soon as I saw them, really saw them, they were gone. I describe them like pigeons being shooed out of an attic space. Gone! And they have never returned. The being that was mad was angry for a brief moment and was angry because it had been discovered, really seen.

Go Beyond Reason

The way forward is to claim your power. This is not an aggressive act or done out of anger, its simply what is yours. Part of this is learning how to navigate through the ether field. You have to get out of your head, out of your reasoning mind, because the universe only responds to feeling. The more you can feel, the better able you can understand this world within you and in the things of the world.

When I say feeling, I dont mean emotion. I mean your capacity to register sensory information internally (nonphysical inner sensory data) and learn how to distinguish between your feeling and that of the ether or universe. You use feeling to learn and discover what exists in this field (a limitless library of information).

This is the opposite of reason, you see. It is a state of receptivity, and feeling allows you to create a living form from the universe within you. This is how it is done. The more you bring in imagination, the more vivid the thing is that you have just picked up on and received.
You can do this in regards to your own healing and for learning more about these entities in order to release them.

The best way to do this is to explain to them that they have a direct connection to Source, that they dont need to be attached to you in this way, and that by letting go, they can begin to discover limitless energy. Hold space for the highest to happen, that they might grow interested in what this light is all about. Imagine their connecting to their higher self and see them merging into light.

When I removed the entity that had dogged “twin” for so long, this was what I explained to it before sending it on its way. I connected to its mind and explained what an amazing new world awaited it. It needed to find its own connection to Source so it could have all the energy that it needed. Then, I just felt this very sure and powerful force rise up through me that was like an opposing magnetism to this being. I increased the field strength until it moved far away.

This being did return, though, the following day, but because twins energy and mine were entangled, the entity could not get through. I simply repeated the same thing, entirely through feeling, that repelled the being for good.

If efforts at clearing an entity dont work, it is often because you have yet to find the point of contact (or your own wound). Find that and heal it and there is nothing for the entity to grab hold of. In the mean time it might play on your fears to keep the condition stable for it but unstable for you. You deal with this by not falling for whatever the emotion is, and by being ready to change the pattern.

Visualization work and affirmations can be helpful if those affirmations carry a desire or intent for real change. For as much as twin said she was tired of the entity, she also admitted that it was something of a guilty pleasure. By removing the entity, I gave her enough room to begin working on what that rather broken pleasure was about. But as a healer, I dont get to decide how the other heals, they do. They are the healer.

State of mind is central to all of this. Feeling and receptivity are foundational. Seeking the broken place and releasing it will knit you back together. Seeking the highest and asking for it while being open to the univere bringing it is huge. Get out of the rational mind and into the expansive cosmic mind. Use that to begin learning about the etheric. Meditate. Learn how to do breath work for relaxing and centering into cosmic mind. Ask. Then wait. Ask to be shown. Keep your eyes open.

There are many very good ways to release trauma, the source of these issues. I have a good trauma release exercise HERE . Chi Gong is helpful as are other forms of movement to free up emotional armoring. Body work such as deep tissue massage with an energy worker can do wonders. Reiki in some cases can help and cranio massage therapy can be deeply healing by teaching you to trust. Acupressure can be good if you have a well attunef attuned healer, and there are healers like my own who dont even need to touch to do their work.
Now, I realize that this may not e enough for some of you, so a simple exercise is in order. I want ou to et comfortable and allow yourself to get relaxed. I want ou to breathe through our nose and out through your mouth. These breaths need to be deep and long. You should pause two to three seconds at the top and bottom of each breath. You should do this for about five minutes. If you find it hard to remember what you were thinking about moments before, this is an excellent sign that ts working. You need to breathe until you feel relaxed and calm. 

The next step is to begin to take an inventory of your body. You need to begin to feel for all of the places where you feel tightness or resistance. Dont second-guess yourself: if its in your big toe, take note of it. And dont worry if there are a lot, just take note of it. These places will be where you will need to begin by focusing your breath into those places. Doing this helps to send a stream of prana into the block. If you do this diligently, each day or three times a week, you will find success. Envision the tightness as being loose. 

Then, by inducing shaking into the core of the body, and breathing deep, you can begin to peel away the layers of stored trauma bit by bit. This technique can be found on Youtube. There are dozens of these videos by numerous practitioners. It can be done lying on your back and letting the shaking do its work. As you move along, you will develop greater awareness of what is happening in your body. This will take time, but it will likely become one of the most important work you will do.
By using intent, and feeling, and the technique I just described, you can begin to be the master of your own being.

I hope this helps. I hope it can lead you to work that will give you the confidence necessary to take you to the next step, to the next level. Being able to enjoy your life is so crucial, and being able to clean things up some is one way to begin doing that.
Until next time, my bearers of light…

The third eye and the pineal gland. Nothing excites seekers more than the connection between these two things. Except, there is absolutely no connection between the two whatsoever. I know, huge buzz kill, right? But if you were really interested in spiritual growth, wouldn’t you want to get this stuff right? I know how cool the pineal sounds, but if you pay close attention to every single person talking and writing about this topic, none of them are able to explain any connection between the third eye and the pineal. At all. Instead they point to the pineal as photoreceptive…. because they think this must explain the connection. It doesn’t. It doesn’t because the third eye has always been an entirely nonphysical sense. Remember the term “the minds eye”? This is the eye that the ancients have referenced for millennia. 
Anyone who has had a full-fledged awakening almost always experiences a third eye opening, and this experience is VASTLY different from the one so often described with activations prior to awakening. You might ask why awakening is so important, which is a very good question. The answer is prana or chi/qi. 
The connection between the significant pranic flow during awakening serves to open the third eye in a way most never experience. You need the additional energy to bring on a full opening. The action of prana is very important for full activation of the chakras and the sensory capabilities some of them have. Just like a radio running on low power will have trouble bringing in a signal, so too does the energy body have difficulty picking up and then translating the signal. With enough energy, your inner sensing is much clearer.

I’m telling you this as someone who went through this. I also know numerous others who have had the same experience. Somewhere along the line someone drew a connection and then no one ever bothered to question it. I know; the pineal sure sounds cool, but it’s job is as a gland and has no part in psychic ability.

When you awaken, you do so with an awareness that shifts from the physical senses towards the inner senses. Even in the Hindu and Taoist texts related to awakening the writings are replete with description for how the mind turns to a world of awareness that is nonphysical in nature, an awareness of the forgotten “other side of the coin” of our experience.

In fact, this “turning” is described as a sudden awareness of self in light of the force now flowing in abundance which is called prana. Not entirely physical, but able to penetrate and nurture the physical body by virtue of its stimulating nature, this extremely fine vibrational energy straddles both physical matter and pure consciousness. The “body” that conducts awareness is our very consciousness. This body, which is nonphysical, has complimentary senses like those in the physical body. In truth, the physical senses are aspects of our so-called “inner senses.” 

Who you are beyond your physical body includes the physical senses but are also so much more. Being an eternal soul means that you have all kinds of senses that are native to your consciousness. Any body you take will naturally reflect to some degree the senses that are native to you beyond the physical. 

Consciousness is often described as though it is a body, but it is a body only insofar as your consciousness is connected and focused in a physical body. For now, I will stick with consciousness as a light body for simplicities sake.
Before we begin talking about the third eye I just needed to lay this bit of ground work. So onward and upward!

Each center in this light body has a capacity to sense certain vibratory aspects of prana. Each chakra, like notes on a scale, responds along certain frequencies of this energy called prana or chi to make up a “unity” of energetic experience. This might help in understanding just how amazingly rich and varied that this energy is. This energy, while it has a stimulating effect on our body, cannot be properly perceived by our physical senses. While we can detect prana or chi moving or impacting the body, our physical senses are not equipped to directly sense it. 
This is why the Taoists often described how, by using the physical senses to try to see the Tao, you would always come up short because you would only see the outward physical manifestation of those things which arise out of the great ocean of awareness which is the Tao. Chi is a radiation from the Tao, and thus cannot be physically glimpsed, only felt. 

Prana, or chi, interpenetrates all matter and is an aspect of matter. Remember E=MC2? This means that matter and energy are equivalent with one another. Change the vibration of energy and you will wind up with matter. Change the vibration of matter, and you get energy (they took this theorem and built the atomic bomb with it, you see). As a result, you can read where prana has been in a very real sense, which makes it possible to pick up information from a distance. Prana, having no mass, is completely unrestrained by the physical world. This also means that it has “nonlocality” which means that you can detect things beyond your immediate environment as well as those phenomenon that are “beyond” the physical.  You can pick up on these things because prana or chi is everywhere and your consciousness is made up of prana. As you might have inferred by now, this provides a rather amazing capacity for sensory experience provided there is a sense that can detect these kinds of things which prana as energy makes possible.
If you have trouble with this idea, then imagine a vast network of energy that is in everything down to the smallest and largest of scales. Now imagine that your consciousness has the capacity to detect this network and “read” what is there, courtesy of the energy that is in all of matter. Oh, and one more thing; this energy is sentient.

The third eye has long been known to be a powerful center linked to the arousal of kundalini. This etheric center is both energy vortex, or chakra, as well as an inner sensory channel. Called the ajna chakra by the Hindu, it is located along the brow between the two physical eyes. You can feel the third eye or ajna chakra activating when you feel a point of pressure in the third eye region.

Prior to the full “rising” of kundalini, I had a whole series of very unusual experiences that each, in turn, aided in my awakening process. I was aware of something within me that was guiding me step by step more deeply into the unfolding of my inner awareness that enabled the kindling of the force that is prana in abundance.
What happened in the wake of this was that I developed an enhanced ability to see the world through the inner sense that is the third eye. I observed that I was being tutored in how to see with this eye of the mind. I was shown the type of focus I needed to have in order to view through this portal. This focus was not one of the eyes, but of my consciousness itself. I learned in those early tutorials the secret of how to build what I call Waveform Awareness, a focus within consciousness that corresponds to the energy that we call the Ida or “Shakti” current. I also was shown that the Ida current could not do anything without its compliment, the Pengali, or masculine current. 

These two energies are not separate, but coexist as a whole together. However, it is the “Shakti” that has been suppressed in our awareness as a species so that when our awareness is opened to it, there is a brilliant infusion of wonderful energy that begins to “move” through us. This Shakti or “Waveform Awareness” is both a focus in consciousness, an awareness, and a quality IN our consciousness. This current corresponds to the feminine that resides in each of us, a force and quality that as humans we have significantly ignored in our day to day lives. 

It has been our pushing this quality and energy aside that has robbed each of us of our fantastic and wonderful potential as human beings. It is this missing part which is described by so many today as the return of the divine feminine. She is in each of us and is one side to a dual energetic force that we see when we look at the depiction of the cadeucius, which is an ancient depiction of kundalini. 

Everyone calls kundalini “kundalini shakti” because the force awakens when we join this missing part in us to the part that has served as our prime focus, the masculine counterpart, in consciousness.No, I know; this is not to say women are masculine. It is to say that our consciousness has been captured and limited by our over-emphasis upon a very linear left-brained mode of being as a species. These act as symbolic representations in our consciousness. There is no literal woman or man there. This awareness, though, can help us be more keenly aware of ourselves as both of these while sexual orientation remains as a portion of our overall identity.

As we continue our development as a species toward a more balanced social system, more awakenings will naturally result because the tables are turning as men and women have a little more leeway now to experience a larger range of what it means to be human. 

 

There is, though, a problem that exists today where the ajna chakra is concerned, and it  concerns the pineal gland, which is being touted AS the third eye. Not surprisingly, most who have latched on to this idea have not themselves experienced awakening or a significant enough third eye awakening that would quite naturally enlighten them about the true nature of this sensory capability. I suspect this association being made with thr pineal is so popular because it just sounds good. It does not have any basis in any observable evidence of any kind, however.  Instead, this association serves to misdirect minds from the essence of kundalini as a subtle energy phenomenon linked directly to consciousness and affecting the physical organism in a “secondary” symptomatic way. 

What needs to be understood by those who spread this idea that the third eye is somehow tied to the pineal gland is that the whole of the physical body, which is made up of matter, can only detect other material that is made out of it. Ears are designed to detect a very specific vibrational range of energy that is being expressed as sound. The eyes are designed to detect visible light. Taste is designed to detect the character of flavors in foods. All of this is physical.

What the chakra centers detect is energetic. The experience of inner sensory perception only seems physical because you are in a body and usually concerned with what is happening in the physical, but these senses are in no way limited to the physical, and can be turned to anything that you seek to inquire about. Your brain deftly turns psychic energy into recognizable patterns in the same way that it takes electrical signals and turns them into images or some other sensory experience. It does the exact same thing with inner imagery gleaned from the inner senses. It is pretty brilliant once you dig in and think about it for a while.

So a primer for what the pineal gland is about…
The pineal gland regulates sleep cycles and secretes melatonin. It does this by way of its photo receptivity. When the sun shines, melatonin is suppressed. However, in the presence of warm light, melatonin is steadily produced. This production of melatonin helps us to feel drowsy and to drop off to sleep.

This is why many people who stare at led monitors in the evening can have trouble getting to sleep because LED’s render whites slightly blue, which is identical to mid-day sunlight which is the color of light that just happens to suppress melatonin production. And yes, it is located in the center of the brain. But no, it in no way has any capacity to percieve anything so fine as the ether or pranic force. The pineal is photoreceptive in ways that the two eyes are receptive, but the pineal does not possess enough of these cells to see much of anything except the light that enters the eye and actually travels into the brain via the optic nerve. This is all physical phenomenon, you see.

 
When you DO use your third eye, you are not looking outward, but inward in order to focus into that vibrational frequency that will allow you to detect objects and events at a considerable distance. This includes things taking place on the other side of the planet and even far out into space. And yes, this type of sensing is common once the third eye chakras has been properly opened, used, and understood. I doubt that when I was sensing the apartment of a friend 1500 miles away with pinpoint accuracy that I was using any form of a physical gland or organ at all. 

What I am encouraging you to do is to follow the trail set down by countless others who have awakened this inner sense and begin testing it to see for yourself. I also urge you not to just take my word for it. 

This does mean properly activating the third eye so that you can see clearly enough with it to test your own vision just like I did, using the apartment of a friend that I had never seen nor gotten any description of,  as a test. Test your ability to remote view, or check in on a friend or loved one. Give yourself hard data to work from.

I hope that this has served to help raise awareness about this subject. 
In my next post I will provide a simple method for awakening both the third eye and consciousness. It is an ancient and extremely simple system that I employed that yielded results. I did not know at the time that this was an ancient technique, however.

~Nemaste~

I am working on the most difficult chapter in my book, which is going back into the historical record to show how Christian orthodoxy was an outgrowth of a much deeper mystical current that existed with the first Christian (Jesus), and that through the intervening years between his Ascension and the institutionalizing of the church, this deeper connection to soulful truth was lost.

It is a difficult chapter  for a number of reasons. One is bias.I am up against an entrenched tradition that is used to believing what it believes.  The other is a tradition that was built off of and drew from an earlier “doxos” (or thought) but lost critical aspects or concepts necessary for it to more deeply guide it’s followers to the depths of who they were. The other difficulty has been time. The sheer accretion of it as a belief system has made it a stumbling block, most notably for those with the most need for clearing a path within that leads both into themselves and into the vast realm that is the Kingdom. Lastly, it is challenging because so much has to be packed in to what must be a short and to the point chapter.

To untangle this has meant that I need to bring not just scholarly resources to the table, but the reality and experience of awakening as well. It means that I have to show how this first tradition was lost long before ink was set to papyrus, and how it most likely happened. 

The challenge that comes along with all of this is how the early church sought to scour from history those books and sects that actually served to birth Christianity before it was a state institutionalized religion. A lot of supporting material that I could have used has been lost. However, despite all of this, something amazing has been given to us in our current era. It came in the form of a time capsule, an honest to goodness time capsule buried in the perfect spot in order that it could survive the heresy hunters that have come and gone over the centuries as Christendom has grown.

In an interesting twist of fate, a man named none other than Muhammad Ali (no, not that Ali) uncovered one of the greatest finds to date of early Christian thought in the desert in Egypt just outside the town called Nag Hammadi. Without knowing it, Ali played a role in helping rewrite history by helping to bring forward the very documents the early church came to revile, and which it spent so much effort in burning, anathematizing, and demonizing.

While the Nag Hammad find took place in 1945, translations of the more than forty books were not completed and brought into the broader publishing world until about 1972. As a result, we are only now beginning to assess more deeply the impact that these books have had not only on how we conceived Christianity, but also ourselves at our deepest of levels. 
The reason why I am approaching this subject is two-fold. First, as Westerners, we have been touched most by Christianity than any other religion. Even people who are not members of a church or who buy into the faith at all are still affected by the reach of a religion whose values have threaded themselves into so many facets of our lives. Many people today might not be involved in the church, but very often their parents took them to church as children, or they have grandparents who did. Secondly, there is the issue of the truths and the path that could have happened, but didn’t, and how important the teachings were to anyone, regardless of any religious affiliation. Before there was a religion, there were brilliant messages that were plucked from the Light, which transcends all religions or institutions.
The story here, at its core, is about an infection. It is the infection of ignorance and how it can turn it’s own deliverance into a 1600 year odyssey of illusion. I know how bad that sounds, and honestly, I am grappling hard with how to strike the right balance in this one important chapter in WTI. Sometimes you have to know how to break the news gently. But this isn’t just about overturning a beloved institution. It is  not about that at all. It is in fact about a way to recognize that we have been swimming in the shallows all this time, and that a deep ocean beckons to be explored.
The problem that we face in the wake of the discovery and subsequent dissemination of the Nag Hammad Library into the mainstream is that the conversation about it has lacked a thread of continuity of knowing (or gnosis) when studying the texts that make up the collection. As a result, those who did the translating and the commentaries that accompany the books admit to being mystified by their central precepts. These books cannot just be read with the intellect, or with orthodoxy weighing heavy in the mind, but must, I feel, be read with the heart and the soul. These books ask of us something more than what orthodoxy ever did. It isn’t surprising to find that Christian scholars are so dumbfounded. They are inheritors of a tradition that never demanded that they utilize the hidden depths. It is now time that we did. What’s more is that people are  ready.
These books from the Nag Hammad Library, the best of them, ask us to take that leap into the unknown in order to retrieve or discover that which most of us have lost or have buried. This isn’t about facts and concepts, but a quality that IS us. Curiously, in some of the books, they provide the simplest and clearest means to reach awakening, which Jesus called the Kingdom.
To do all of this in one small chapter has led to the realization that this first book won’t be “the” book most widely read, but will be the foundation for a number of them. What gets laid down in this one small but potent chapter on Christianity will lead to a book that side steps the Orthodox journey and helps to bring a turn of mind and willingness to go deeper. More than a dry analysis of these “new books” from Egypt, it will show how they communicate the ineffable and help bring us closer to it, less by rational discourse and more by tapping our innate powers of feeling in order to conceive what is in fact entirely revolutionary in each of us. In an effort to set themselves apart from other religions, Christianity denied the very aspects that are universal to reaching enlightenment by hiding something terribly important to all of us.
The chapter on Christianity in the book I am writing now will be to wet our whistle for a deeper dive into what the origins of Christianity could have become. The book will examine all of the historical evidence and will ask readers to be audacious enough to step into the gap, their own unknown, to reach out, and in, to retrieve what is still missing in so many of us.
My dear friend and spiritual cohort who is one of the most gifted psychic intuitives I have ever met, said to me many years ago that there would be a book that I would write that would be the book, and it wasn’t the one I was working on then. This ruffled my feathers back then partly because I had so much time, so much experience, tied up in the effort of that manuscript that I had in front of me. But here it is, six years later, and as I begin working on this one chapter, I can feel the presence of an entirely new book muscling it’s way into my awareness. When Ali told me about this as we sat in the car at the gas station that rainy day, she said, “That book is already written, Parker….it’s just waiting for you to put it to paper.” Sometimes a wise man needs a wise woman to help him see the bigger picture.

Part of the soul of this new book is how we can change our world by being able to acknowledge one element, one simple aspect of our inner spiritual reality  that the Orthodox tradition swept under the rug right from the beginning. I sense, at this time, that it has to do with something that will only work if we begin to embody and practice it in our day to day. The way we are going about it now will only lead to a growing divide between all of us and our fundamental nature’s. We need to become aware and begin working now if we are to stave off what could become an ever-widening gap in our society and all of its institutions. 

How A Book Not Yet Written Catalyzed A New Paradigm For Men

What is so interesting about this is that in the months prior to beginning work on this chapter, I felt a clear need to begin doing a type of inner work with men.This was an unexpected realization, and it happened during a conversation I was having about retreats for women who were doing spiritual healing of their own. When asked if I would want to be a contributing partner in this visionary idea, I found quite suddenly that I really needed to work with men, at least at first. At the time I really had no idea about what that work would entail.  
The idea was firmly planted though, and it hasn’t budged a single bit since then. The earliest ideas began in my mind as a group who would first gather locally to begin revisioning the masculine, to, as a group, share and work together to come up with solutions that will aid in recreating the masculine experience and identity. This would be done without destroying what is the essence of what it is to be men in an essential way, apart from cultural expectations and programming. This local group would then be translated into a larger arena where workshops and retreats would be formed in order to reach a wider audience. That assumed that men would ready for this, and I personally see many who are.

Since then, without fully knowing what the content would be exactly, the concept has evolved very quickly into a means to effect a much needed paradigm shift. This shift will have the result of creating a space and knowing about how to heal our innermost spiritual, and emotional fractures related to masculine identity. The outcome of this, I sense, will be men who live very different lives and whose own healing will also help heal a new generation of women who have been yearning quietly for this sort of outcome, for this kind of man in their lives, be they father, brother, son, or lover.
I know that you might be wondering how this type of work is connected to a book on Christianity. It ties into fundamental beliefs about our identities which were supported and informed by the church. It has played it’s part in keeping a great secret from itself and us. This secret has the power to transform all of us. It is the missing ingredient that when added, is tranformative at the most basic and essential levels. Since paternalism had a hand in the early church, and because of the extraordinary scope of the reach the church has had on most Westerners, being able to see the church as how it could have been actually can show men how they can be today by correcting this one simple aspect that got hidden away by men. Men did this, and now we can each undo it. The results should be interesting to say the least.
Having said this, this work won’t be limited to heterosexuals since it will not be built on the old paradigm which has an often unrecognized or acknowledged codependency at its core. It will instead seek to bring healing and fresh thinking to the individual first, with the balance then achieved in the self naturally rippling outward with new effects, new eventualities, coming into the lives of those who participate. This will be driven naturally and organically as an outcome of this re-visioning process that will call upon, not coincidentally, the one aspect that the early Orthodox Church sought to hide, whether by ignorance or design.
There is a lot that I haven’t written about in specific terms because to do so would mean a number of posts. The main core of the work will in fact be incredibly simple because instead of this being a process of reshaping the selves of men, it actually serves to bring men to the one place within them that society has taught them to ignore. Instead of methods, finding this lost part of themselves will BE the method, the compass, the guide, the teacher. We have been envisioning this the wrong way, you see. 

What I sense that this awareness can liberate in men is an amazing relatedness to their deepest selves…this in turn will bring greater and greater layers of fulfillment which will be a healing balm for the rough edges we have had for so long. I am merely it’s facilitator. You are the healer!
It only takes a single pebble dropped in the calm waters of a self ready for change to effect this change.

Who knew what writing this one chapter might birth or clear the way for all of this to begin coming through?
For now, I have a chapter to write. Besides my own work that sustains me in my day to day, I have an outline to write along with how to include all elements necessary to make this book what it needs to be. Concurrent with this will no doubt be setting up the framework for my first group of men who are ready to take that first step into a new world.

What divides you is keeping the fullness of awakening from being known within you. What divides you keeps not just your mind in seperation, but it keeps your whole self seperated to one degree or another.

The term “samscara” is a Sanskrit word that means “soul scar” and this scar lies at the foundation of our feelings, motivations, and actions in the world. The soul scar divides the self from being completely whole, aware, and unified to its origin. Many might think that this scar is the sum total of what has been done to us that has caused hurt or pain. In truth, the samscara is created out of our own reflection on the world, and arises out of the contrast between our expectations of the world and how the world actually is. This is the source of all suffering. But this is an inner event that takes place, this perception that things are not how we want them or expect them to be.  
It is a reaction. We in the West fail often to understand how we feel is a choice. We think it is just how we are made, that we have no choice. People MAKE us feel certain ways. Am I your maker? I make you? No, you make you. Always.

If you take five people and have them each experience the same event, you will most likely get a range of reactions. For the person who has a strong sense of expectation that the event was negative, that person will see it and feel it that way. This feeling will also color how they saw the event for years to come. But for the person who does not have the same level of expectation, there will be much less in the way regarding their perception and feelings about the event as purely negative. It will be much easier for them to see that the event unfolded the way it did because of the limitations that the participants had. It wont be taken personally, but seen more clearly. What is so hard for us is that we want to believe all kinds of things, all perfectly noble and good about how we think the world should be, but the truth, more often than not, is that the world just does not match what we believe inside ourselves. When we are unable to come to terms with this, we remove ourselves from our capacity to forgive and move on. Instead, we are hooked by it. If the contrast within us compared to what’s happening in the world is great enough, it forms a soul scar. It then forms the basis of a stumbling block where we then suffer in big and small ways from then on. The nature of the scar, the suffering, will be activated over and over until it is healed.

The samscara is not just one emotional issue, but is in fact made up of a whole cluster of issues. Whatever your expectations are of the world that the world does not match, will most likely form the basis of  problems for you.

Healing the samscara requires radical honesty about how you feel and react to the world around you. Healing the samscara requires the deepest innermost forgiveness, not of others, but of yourself, for having put yourself into a position where you were less than your truest being. To be this true being means being honest about how you have chosen to suffer. As long as you believe that your suffering comes about by anyone except yourself, you will continue to remain in a maze of your own making, a blend of dharma and samsara (different from samscara)…with your own beliefs about yourself leading the way. I don’t think I need to tell you how difficult this sort of combination is for any of us.

The secret of the samscara lies in how it divides our awareness. If awakening is the result of a merging of our opposites, the samscara is that which keeps  inner union from reaching its fullest possible expression in each of us. Awakening is a partial union, an initiation, and is so rich and intoxicating, that most so touched by it forever seek it. Awakening is just the  water upon our lips, and full union is a wholesale cleansing that allows us to become purer vessels, realized vessels, for this water of life, which we once sipped and found so amazing, so celestial, which now pours through us with perfect peace and acceptance of what is. Curiously, this is where we each can best change the world, not in the perception of division and seperation that the samscara always creates.

The curious things about the samscara is that while it divides, it also becomes the agent for change and transformation. It is the crack that lets in the light. When the pain gets to be too much, something deep within asks the question, is this all that there is? Most often, this is the spark that catalyzes a deeper relationship with the full undivided awareness of self and can lead to the kindling of the creative fire, the powerful flow of prana, that is called kundalini.

Do you see how the image above fractures our being? Our awareness of ourselves as truly whole? Do you see how it stands between the two sides of the energy body? The Ida and Pengali? The yin and yang? Do you see that the samscara is in the center of awareness, blocking out fuller union, fuller embodiment of this higher or more expansive experience of ourselves? Do you see that the samscara, the wound, is also opening to let in the light? Do you also see that the whole self already radiates the light of the totalities?

The samscara is made up  of beliefs. These beliefs are about the world, yes, but they are always fundamentally about you. So often we look to the events in childhood to try and find the genesis of our samscara….but the truth is that the origin of the samscara comes from you. Beyond all time, beyond all cause and effect.

Everyone who awakens speaks at one point or another about how time is an illusion, yet often we do not bother to consider that what happened in our childhood or in later life came from who we are outside of time, in the very spacious present so many espouse being aware of. It is here, in us, that all of our glitches have emerged. Since this involves awareness beyond the world of cause and effect, it is hard for us to embrace this timeless realm from which we each come to be incarnated in bodies here in this world. It also means that all problems begin first in ourselves.
When you can reach into this realm beyond time, you can heal your samscara for all lifetimes. Do it now, and you can feel the tension in the karmic cords it creates through all that you are and all that you have been and will become. It is precisely because it is so total a healing that it is so effective. The effect this will have for you in your evolution is that of a quantum leap.

This is how total we each must learn to be in our own sense of personal responsibility. It is one reason why whenever I tried to get over a hurt I thought someone had caused me, just as I reached into the root of the problem, I always found that it wasn’t the other person who needed  forgiveness, I was always brought to the inner truth of all of it, which was I had to forgive myself. 

This is the radical honesty that emerges when you heal the samscara. We stop seeing ourselves as being at the mercy of others and events for how we feel, and we own up to our part in it. It reverses victimization by bringing the awareness of what we did to create such a weakened dysfunctional condition in ourselves in the first place. This is not blaming the victim, it is stopping being a victim by healing our part in the equation.

We are energetic beings. So many of us are stuck believing that the five senses are all there is to our experience. Awakening shows us that HOW we feel and HOW our consciousness is constructed has a subtle nonphysical effect on what we experience and attract in our lives. You change all of this by changing what you are inside. 

You try to change it by changing where you live, but it follows you. Some things you can change when you want to heal, like not interacting with someone who you feel has hurt you. This is perfectly reasonable and can give you enough breathing room to be honest with yourself about where the old problem lies (within you). But try to initiate another effort to create a new life, without healing the samscara in you, and versions of all the same problems just keep returning. This is the karmic merry go round. What gets you off of it is how you change how you feel and identify with an aspect of your being that is anything less than healed.

Anything that you see that serves to limit your fulfillment in your life is a sign  of something that needs to be set right. There is no one way to do this, but your higher self knows. It will step in and set it right when you can lay ego and the rational mind aside enough for it to enter.
 By going deep within and finding the root of the problem, you can heal it. In so doing, your own inner awareness of what you are will grow and unfold for you. The result of this is that whatever was snagging you or causing you a problem will no longer be there. 

The way to reach the root of the problem is not by the rational mind. You have to use FEELING. This is NOT emotion! This is your intuitive capacity to know the source of all things in you. You do know. You must practice feeling

This begins with a willingness to stop thought to any degree that you can, and feel yourself. Then, you feel deeper and deeper. You let go and drift into yourself with a quiet mind and awareness that is present. It is so easy, but so hard to explain. It is like you are visiting a new world, which is your deeper self, and you are along for the ride. You can access material from earliest childhood using this method. Feel it. Don’t judge or resist. It is deceptively easy, and you need to work through your own beliefs that block you from achieving this.

Tips

When you forgive, forgive with all that you are. Imagine the problem seeping out of every corner of your being, top to bottom, like a vibration that is leaving every cell in your body. Breathe deep and slow. Then use a panting breath, like a tiger or jungle cat does. It will move a lot of energy. Close your eyes and imagine that you are floating in a deep blue ocean, unafraid of its depths and willing to drift deep into it.

Pray to Source to see and accept your apology. Offer up this problem, not with a desire to fix it, but to simply remove it. These problems were not created by the rational self so the must be given up without a hint of ever trying to understand them this way. Hand them over to that in you that touches and lives in a higher vibrational state. This is how you transmute all low vibrational problems within you. 

Expect a miracle.

Be open to change. Be like a child; open and ready for the new.
The moment you think you have everything pegged, step back and observe. Do you really? If you are still suffering, there is more work to do.

Stop assuming that you know where you are headed. A higher intelligence is running this if you will surrender control and allow your awareness of its presence to fill your life. It is so much bigger than your awareness that it takes faith, like a child, to be led by it.Y you go from pushing the river to working harmoniously with it. Your doing is now allowing. Do you see? The rational self controls. It is also limited. It cannot begin to dream of what could enter your experience next.

Grace comes by way of matching discipline and faith together as partners in your day to day growth and progress to realization.
When you are stuck, sit quietly in meditation (this can happen anywhere …even while shopping or standing in line) ask to be shown what remains to do. If it doesn’t show up as inner guidance, it will show up as events in your life. Pay attention and see how they are mirroring something inside of you. Then, by witnessing this, not ingratiating yourself with it by being reactive and emotionally invested, ask yourself how you can choose to feel differently. This is how you can actively break the chain of behavior that keeps the samscara active.

Devote yourself to love in its deepest possible expression. When you do this, seperation is dissolved in you. Love unifies. If you feel like a stranger in a strange land, love has the power to heal this. Love does not exist in condition. If you cannot do this with someone in your life, this is a sign that this is a place where more love needs to be in you. It points to a block in you. It works perfectly when you let it.
You cannot control the world, nor make it better by following old methods or paradigms for change. Instead, make yourself the paradise you would like to see in the world. You will wind up seeing all the aspects of this paradise that you had missed previously because of your blinders. If you are paradise, this will have a much better chance of catching on than any campaign sought to change through the mind.
Every part of this forms the basis of my “work” that always, in time, leads to profound healing. I hope that it can help shift your own awareness too. Nemaste.

This post is the second installment that is best read in series about how karma creates chemistry and how we can open our lives up to a new horizon, literally a new kind of life by clearing the karmic threads and “debts” which we owe to ourselves as drops in the vast ocean that is consciousness…

 

So I was thinking about how I was able to clear up the karma from this “soul twin” that I had in the beginning of my awakening. I was thinking, too, about  how effortless it was to dissolve the connection that had caused me so much angst as well as bliss.  Mind you, in the beginning, there was this expansive love that I felt as well as this fiery quality that was part of the rush of prana that is kundalini.  This was not an effort at making myself a recluse, but rather that I felt, knew, that this was not all there was.  Most everyone I observed in the “twin” community seemed fairly situated in what I was rapidly feeling was the mythos of the twin flame and comfortable with this view as the twin as “The One.” It was natural, afterall, I had been there, too.  But things were changing for me and I was no longer content with what I saw as a delightful fairy tale, a beautiful story, certainly, but not one that reflected reality.  Yes, I felt the depths of soul love inside of me and I shared this with another, but I also felt the earthly self, both where I was and where she was.  We were oh-so human.

How to deal with this dichotomy, I thought? It seemed to me that this disjuncture was the proof that there was something more at work.  What the twin community was doing, it seemed to me at the time, was the same thing we do when we are putting a puzzle together.  You know those puzzle pieces that LOOK like they fit, but don’t?  I mean those pieces that look exactly like they should fit, but the shape is off so very slightly that you are kind of stumped in that moment?  Yeah, like that.  Now I was watching as some of us were just jamming that puzzle piece into place and saying “good enough!” and going on with it.  I just wasn’t one of those people.  I am a big believer in letting a mystery BE a mystery, yes, certainly, but there is also a time when you ought to use your mind some to roll this thing around, especially when the “mystery” isn’t fitting into any of the discussed paradigms set forth thus far.

I thought about this and wondered what a later soul connection might have involved, and this time around, for soul connection #2 it was similar, but different.  It also involved a miss-identification of responsibility for a host of issues that caused me a lot of hurt and pain with this person, to be quite honest.  I was snagged by this person with her dishonesty, which was very much like my wife before my awakening began.  In fact, I considered at the time that this #2 connection might have been a way to work through what my ex-wife and I had not worked through. They were so similar in some important ways.  Sounds dysfunctional, doesn’t it?  Well, actually, it has turned out that since the two of these people were sooo similar that it has helped a LOT in working through the remaining karmic snags for BOTH.  Despite the fact that something in the back of my head was telling me that what I was being drawn into and WHY I was being drawn into it might well be bad for me.  Different stories, yet so very similar.

The Universe Becomes Your Mirror

In an interesting twist, I have been having a lot of problems popping up with my ex-wife as I have been headed towards the end-game of this soul connection, trouble that she has been initiating all on her own.  This has always been telling to me because whenever I was working through some karmic material it was as though they could feel it and would pop up out of the blue.  The timing on this has always been bizarre, at least in the beginning.  Lately, I just see this kind of behavior as proof for how we are bound by common material and that we can indeed all feel it whether it is conscious or not.

I chose to remain neutral with my ex-wife, though, in this last series of interactions, choosing not to engage her by pointing out the error in her way of behaving (which has always been over-the-top mean and hurtful).  This tack or approach has proven to shake things up in me just enough to help release some significant karmic material in both cases, ex-wife and connection #2.  In this case, the release was sooo simple. God, just to think about how much hand-wringing and worry and concern there had been about approaching this day there had been!  So much self-doubt, so much loathing of myself for being tied to these hard people! The release happened with #2  I when I was able to see an admission that one of them had emotional problems.  All I ever really needed was that moment of honesty from them, that “come to Jesus moment” that never really happened, and probably wouldn’t happen.  This had kept me active and turning on this karmic merry-go-round.  And this moment was not one that involved me talking to either of them, which was actually really nice.  Poof.  On my own, I got the one small thing that I needed that flipped the switch on all of this.  And now?  All of that hard stuff is just gone. I feel different.  I look different.  I now realize that the thoughts that I once had that I often dismissed as just a fairy tale way of being were in fact the depths of who I am, the beauty that was waiting for me on the other side of that garden gate.  One side was thunder clouds and uncertainty and the other side was bright and hopeful without a need to convince myself that anything was anything except what it was. Now, whether dark or light, I just don’t see the dividing line but feel the bliss of simply being.

I will also add that along with this hard behavior taking place as I reached the home stretch in all of this, that I was approached about two months ago out of the blue by a guy I know only peripherally, asking me if I could help him with his business.  As I was working with him and his employees, I felt deep into the energy of the group and found this troubling but interesting swarm of energy there.  I just worked for weeks and felt into it as I went about my day.

I found that there were all of these similar energies that all went back to the male wound.  For the first two to three weeks I only felt the energy.  I really had nothing to go on beyond what I was feeling. But by the third week, people were suddenly opening up and telling me exactly what I wondered about on an energy level.  All of this felt so familiar to me, but I had no hard physical history to pin it to. Without saying a word or asking any questions, except in my mind, they each began to tell me just what I needed to know.

This time, instead of working this like a problem, I accepted it without feeling a need to fix anything.  The interesting thing that happened was that I went from repulsed and upset the first few weeks, to feeling a strange affinity for these men.  I understood where they had been because I had been in similar places, too. I think we all have in one way or another.  It was as though life was giving me this opportunity to step deep into this chasm that was the inner life of these men in order to ponder my own wound, what is called “samscara.” But the brand or nature of their wound was so similar in so many ways to my own. This was tricky…..be in the world, but don’t be of it.  Step into the abyss but remain untouched…..no….not quite….surrender and accept all of it, see it, feel it, know it and don’t feel a stitch of resistance.  Yes, that is much more accurate.

It was at the moment that I began to accept them that the changes began to take place with my ex chiming in with her junk, all in perfect timing.  The distance between these men and their admissions about their past happened within 24 hours of my ex texting me and trying to “yank my chain.”  I remained stolid and calm.  It all passed with some hurt on my side, but no reaction, which was the big difference.  In the past, I knew that she took some pleasure from getting a reaction out of me.  As long as I reacted in pain, it confirmed to her that I was just as messed up as she was.  It was her way of keeping me in the boat.  But wait, no, it was me allowing myself to be controlled, effected, and enmeshed.  And THAT was the difference.  I had control now. Hurt me all you want, or try to; it just no longer works.  The first few times, yes, it still hurts…but the behavior and the energy is actually changing, and this was part of how I just stepped out of that old restrictive suit of clothes that made the man who he was.

After this took place, about a week later, another layer was unfurled and this time there came the beginning of a series of releases. I was able to feel the energetic side of the block releasing from my right lower range of the meridian when I got out of the work van at our work site several days ago.  This was between root and sacral chakras and was not felt IN the chakra like so many releases in the past.  This one was stubborn, bug in, and I felt the root block more as points within the meridian line on the male or solar side of yang energy (based on the Chinese medicine system). Then I was able to read about an admission from this soul connection and it all resulted in this perfectly timed matrix of effects that felt like a landslide or cascade of inner releases that brings me to where I am now. Poof. Gone.

Energetically, I feel different and my thoughts are different, too.  I am no longer obsessed with loss and lack churning inside of me.  Poof.  This buoyancy has resulted in my feeling like I can reach something that I didn’t feel….worthy of.  Can you believe that? With this hard energy weighing me down, I just didn’t feel like I could reach it easily.  Everything had this cast over it that had an edge of the negative. With a root-related block this type of thing relates to issues of nurture and abundance.  If the block is big enough, it can result in problem taking care of ones self or creating abundance.  I knew that my block was partial because of how events happened in my life.  I had always used creative visualization for the important things in my life: school, job, career, and children.  They all came as I had asked.

In my life I have always been able to manifest pretty big things in my life, but they almost always have some kind of hitch in them, sort of like the wish the genie grants you that you always wind up regretting.  Now, though, I know that we no longer have to regret the wish because the wish is now forged in the clarity of the soul’s purpose free from these troubling alliances having to do with loss and lack and hurt and pain and all the rest. This corresponds to the root now being clearer. I should now see a new level of clarity to what is brought into my life through our ability to co-create our lives.  I also find that any problems that come along just don’t flatten me like they had before.

Today as I opened a new book I bought for myself as this change was underway, it revealed a quote by the Buddha that spoke about how releasing the karmic bonds that hold us down to the earth…..free us so we can fly like eagles who can leave this world or be untethered by the concerns that weighed us down.

I have been hoping for this moment for years.  Years. Me an my dear friend Ali  have been talking about this idea which she brought up in our early discussions back in 2008 about how karma creates chemistry.  I wondered at first how anyone would believe such a thing as this?  At first, it didn’t make sense to me.  What I felt in connection felt natural, not fabricated, and this karma=connection sounded a lot like that. There was something about it that didn’t make sense….but now what I know is that the reason why it did not make complete sense at the time was because I was seeing through  distorted lenses, that my way of sensing and seeing the world was itself….bent. I was myself captured by karma and you cannot fix an old problem using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place (thank you, Albert E.) And this is something that you will need to know about yourself if you find that this also makes little sense to you. I wont ask you to believe me, just file it away and then get on with your “work” and when the day comes when it happens to you, let’s talk.

When I  explained how karma created chemistry to my second soul connection, she did not believe what I was saying.  I hadn’t either.  It just didn’t seem right, based on how the energy felt. It felt like a “foreverness” that you just don’t want to ever let go of.  There are lots of people similarly hooked in the twin phenomenon that keeps them engaged but not healing the blocks.  But do you know why this FEELS like a forever thing?  Do you really?

The Reward Cycle

Dopamine.  I know it sounds simplistic, but it is really that simple.  Our reward centers physically are designed to give us that peasant reward for just about ANYTHING that our mind/brain believes is a good thing.  Sex is one of these things, but there are loads of others. Prana creates bliss and as it is identified, the mind sends a signal to the body to produce dopamine among other things to reward us for something that is actually very good for us.  The idea of connection with another person whom we love generates this rich chemical landscape that keeps us coming back, though, and the connection itself is most often karmic.  This means that on the one side you are feeling prana flow, which is good, but the karma is in there, too, which is a kind of soup of both shadow and light, so you get a bit of both.    If you have a lot of negative karma surrounding an issue, then the chemical train gets colored with that karma and you have the potential for bliss along with the chaotic emotions that are still suppressed within the psyche. This is the double-edged sword of life.  You have the dark and the light.  Learning how to navigate through all of this is what yields victory in clarifying and cleansing the self. There is this very insightful saying in the Gospel of Philip that says in essence that God is a dyer of souls. When God dyes a soul, it goes in one color and comes out white.  This is to say that the dying work that God does is to clear us of all color.  This is not to say that we are colorless. We do not lose our character or personality, but that we lose that which made it hard for us to see the divine within.

Dopamine also does something else where pain and trauma are concerned.  When it is created in the body, it helps to eleviate the pain so that it does not burn deep grooves in our minds.  It helps us to move on.  This is one reason why kundalini works on emotional blockages so well; the body is pumping out a LOT of dopamine (and there is evidence for this state at various stages of the awakening process that I wont go into here but I write a lot about it on the blog).  This is also why people who have PTSD or other types of trauma-based issues will often turn to opiates to soothe the pain.  In fact today as I sat waiting to pick my child up from an appointment, I listened on the radio about a woman who had begun using heroin as a way of dealing with her pain.  She spoke of how it soothed her, made her feel like she could cope.  Sadly, by doing this, she was actually shutting down her body’s own native ability to produce the compounds necessary to make her feel the way she needed in order to heal. Dopamine does this, it is the body’s own natively produced opiate and I can tell you that once I identified what it was I was experiencing that was making me feel so peaceful and smoothed out and wonderful and dreamy, I was able to see how a strong “dump” of dopamine into my system also corresponded with releases.  To put it simply; you just don’t CARE about the pain anymore.  When you do this, your brain and body can simply release the old hurt like that: poof!  The mind stop supporting the old programming and the brain and body are now charged and ready to take in a different story.  The result?  You feel instantly transformed. You are literally reconnecting the brain and the body in new ways, creating new pathways for though to flow.  At an energetic level, the change is felt in a myriad of ways as well.

The dopamine cycle works for a host of reasons, from building a strong family unit for the rearing of children, to the benefit that being with another gives to us as a couple as well as the cohesiveness of a community. There are other compounds involved like oxytocin (which is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter—think on that one for a minute!) a little adrenaline, estrogen, and testosterone.  Once our mind/brain has identified something as important enough, it sets up a reward system for it.  And we can become addicted to it in just the same way we become addicted to the very behaviors that keep us enmeshed in certain karmic merry-go-rounds.  But is this bad?  The curious thing is that some people, in order to get the dopamine blast into their systems will use some behavior that will trigger it.  The important part is whether you are using something else to make it happen, or are you choosing to just feel differently, which is itself the spiritual compliment OF dopamine.  You see the difference?  If its, say, sex, that creates the dopamine reward trigger, then you can become a sex addict.  The sign is that sex is an empty experience for you at some point because after all, you aren’t in it for the experience that sex can give, not really.  You are after the high of the dopamine. As a result, sex addicts wind up having a feeling of emptiness in the wake of sex. It is a terrible place to be.  They need to move the dopamine cycle, the reward cycle, so that it is not divided from the self by any degrees of separation. The trick, people, is to learn how to trigger dopamine production in your body so that you get a nice flow going all the time at a low healthy level so you mirror the physical state of peace.  We have forgotten how to do this, or that the body will respond in a fraction of a second to a desire to feel bliss by pumping out dopamine. We are a generation of pill poppers.  This does not solve the problem, it only masks it.  What is curious is that it appears that when your body is producing dopamine for no other reason than to feel good (not just for a reward cycle) the body does not appear to become addicted to it.

Sometimes the glitches in our karma can go on for lifetimes.  The trick here, the whole point of all of this inner work, is to choose the beneficial positive karma over the negative ones.  If you watch people who are obsessively upset, you will see that they are actually enjoying being upset.  They spend so much time engaged in explaining why they hurt and why.  Most often, they are pointing to some source outside of themselves as the culprit, when all along the culprit is  within. Through a simple turn in awareness, the true culprit is seen for what it is.  Doing this work accomplishes this.  And the result?

For me, when this last wrinkle unfurled in me and the hooks dropped away, I felt….a series of new feelings that felt authentic and good.  My energy felt buoyant.  So simple, so clean and so clear.  I didn’t feel this clenching tightness that could also be associated with sexual tension in an intimate relationship.  When I say tension, this was a tension that felt a little over the top and was a kind of warning signal even as I was unable to change it until I healed the karma at its deepest level. The really interesting thing was how supercharged my sexual energy felt in the wake of this.  I was actually concerned that it would all just go away.  As kundalini/prana cleanses the body/self, the energy is less chaotic or intense.  I worried that I might lose this intensity.  I identified that the intensity made me feel vital and alive….I just didn’t like the hardness.  It finally felt like a flowing powerful form of energy that was unencumbered by these tight or tense spots that I knew were there but was powerless to do anything about (until they were healed).  Like some silent reminder, they let me know in each moment that they were there, these tight spots, these blocks. But in the end, it was much-ado about nothing.

The “Reset”

There was a point in my awakening when I had what I call a “reset” of my energy field about a year and a half into my awakening.  This “reset” helped me to more clearly relate to the blocked energy that still remained in me. How this was done was completely unexpected by both me and my healer.  She was told by her guides to simply follow their guidance and take on my energy for a moment.  I was on the phone, doing this at a distance, and didn’t know that this was happening.  She told me to hang up and just breathe deep and wait.  I felt a sudden lightness to my being that was very nice.  Peaceful.  But after about one minute, I felt my old energy come back down around me.  The only way I can describe it was that in taking on my energy, by entering into my energetic capsule, she was able to lend or imbue or surrogate a much needed form of awareness that I was able to inherit as a result of this exchange.

What took its place was….not easy. At all.  I think if I had known what was about to happen, I would not have gone along with it.  What it felt like was a screeching clamor of metal like the sound of a freight train wrecking all around me.  It was accompanied by a deep and abiding physical pain that remained with me throughout my awakening until I released the remaining material. Okay, so that sounds really bad.  But actually, it wasn’t.  This was NOT physical pain.  What it was, was referred pain.  This was soul pain, a pain I had been blocking from my awareness….even in the midst of awakening.  Yes, I was aware of this pain, I had felt it, but I had simply dialed the volume down.  My healer dialed the volume back up so that I could hear what was happening.  I was, simply, much more aware of what was happening to me. And this sped me along on an accelerated path because the pain I felt in my heart was really hard.  But when the pain was released, as the blockages were released that following year, what followed in its wake, was a wonderful feeling that I keep with me to this day.

This level of awareness based on this “reset” has been of huge benefit to me because it has enabled me to see or feel into my energy body that much more deeply so that I can detect even the smaller things in a much more vivid way.  It will, in time, make me that much better of a healer should I choose to go that route.  It was this awareness that created a sense of pain in one of my meridians that helped me to pinpoint the exact area a year ago so I could show my Kahuna healer where to concentrate on in order to begin releasing material there through energy medicine and deep tissue massage.

And?  Poof!  Gone was all of the obsessing over this person I felt connected to but who I knew had been hurting me and would continue to do so because of her entitlement to being trapped in the meme of victim.  I had been told that I just needed to forgive this person…..but in the end, it wasn’t forgiveness that did it.  What did it for me was in being able to see things so clearly….something that I KNEW but that I seemed to hear from them as being the truth.  That was my hitch; I seemed to need to know that they knew.  I know that seems weird, but for my brand of karma, that was just what the doctor ordered.  Quietly, I was able to simply slip the bonds and soar.  Now, how it does it for you, what YOUR trigger is, I can’t say.  For me, though, it was like someone finally saying, “I know that what I was doing was messed up….I know…..and I am sorry about it…” That was all I needed to know, that yes, they knew that what they were doing was off. And now?  I feel no draw to this kind of thing at all.  It is as though I have transcended a murky layer in the ocean and am now in a much clearer place.

Having said all of this, my own energetic awareness shows me that there is still more murk in the root chakra, but it does not seem to be so entangled with others and this blame game that I have gotten tangled in.  I for one am glad to be free from it.  Come what may, at the least THIS part has been cleared, something I have been working on clearing for years.

How It Works

Until such an event takes place where you can resolve the “hitch” or the “hook” of the karmic connection, you remain on the merry-go-round caught in a recursive set of behaviors due to a suppressed set of emotions that are begging to be healed.  This can be done by a simple moment of honesty.  In this one important wrinkle, I was waiting on the honesty of another in order to feel the sense of release I hoped for for so long.  And for me, in my case, it released a whole series of difficult to live with feelings.  Now, free from all of this, I can FEEL myself unencumbered by the weight of another and their feelings of incompletion.  I simply had to know once and for all that this was not mine….but had been making it mine in this codependent cycle that was my karma.  Now with this new clarity of self and heart and soul, I ask myself: what am I going to do now? It will be interesting to see what manifests in the days that come.  With the karma gone, so too is the old chemistry that was caught in the dark goddess.  I am ready for the one who dwells in the light.  And the ONLY reason why I am going to the trouble of opening up like this is because each of us can reach this same place in our own time.  It is possible!  Whoot!

There are numerous methods that can be useful to you in assisting prana in doing its work re-magnetizing you to your larger authentic self.  I have done all of this work without traditional methods like yoga.  While I esteem yoga greatly, I know that it is but one of many methods that can be used.  Ultimately, the goal is doing what makes you flow and open up to the energy.  Breath work helps a lot, including alternating nostril breathing, something I created for myself that I call “Active meditation” which involves working on moving energy in my body and dropping into a deep state where I can feel the buoyancy of my lovely energy that connects me to the universe and reveals to me how the presence of the All is hidden in the atoms and cells of my body.  Centering attention on centers where you feel resistance helps to clear flow, as does movement, ANY movement from dance to things like Chi Gung, deep tissue massage, energy work, reiki, and more.  If you are dealing with awakening, drop into your deeper self and ask yourself what you most need to know.  Try it; then await the answer.  I will bet that you will wind up with resources coming out of your ears….people handing you books, people showing up to act as mirrors, teachers, guides, any number of things can manifest themselves. So trust in the power that is yours and that is also part of the universe.  You are, after all, a part of it and it is part of you!

नमस्ते

When I had my awakening, I awoke aware that I was feeling someone in my head, in my space….it was hard to pin down at first….but some part of me that woke up KNEW this was so, even as my rational mind was struggling just to keep up with the newness that was taking place.  All of it was novel, interesting, sometimes even scary or anxiety-producing.  I lived with the idea that I had a soul twin because, simply, there was no other theory out there that explained it so….well.

Cracks began to show up in that fairy-tale world when I heard the really hard and mean things this twin of mine would say sometimes.  I began to question, and as I questioned, more things popped up that showed me that something was amiss.  The concept of the twin soul was a fairy-tale.  Like angels on clouds and happily ever afters and gurus who are perfect (note: there is no such thing-these are things we would like to be true but are not). The experience was cosmic and I WAS feeling this person at the soul level deeply.  Yes.  Wonderful, yes.  But human still, yes.

In perfect timing, as I was beginning to question the mythos of the Twin Soul and the Twin Flame along came a person who had gone through all of this herself and we began this dialog.  It was one of the most insightful of any kind of dialog I have had with another person.  She spoke my language, and she helped to fill in some spots that I was clamoring around in the dark for.  One of the things that she talked about was how karma creates chemistry.  At first, this was so non-intuitive that while I took it all in, I honestly had some trouble with it.  After all, the energy that was a part of the connection felt so….natural. It just felt like it was so deep within me, right?

But the same is true for karma.  Whoops.

I have been at the cleansing process that is a part of awakening since early 2007 (early February) and I have slowly come to a realization through many many releases that some of the biggest troubles have been in the more base chakras.  Each release in the meridians or chakras (or both) has always been accompanied by changes in how I felt and how I reacted to things that might have upset me before.  I have been hard at “work” getting my field cleared because of how much better it has made me feel, how richer and more…..buoyant….my energy has felt following a clearing.  Despite how some have said that the root is cleared first, I have to take issue with this and call such tales utter nonsense. No, kundalini clears the easiest to the hardest.  It is like water, following the path of least resistance.  If it had tackled my poor solar plexus, sacral, or root chakras first, I would still be here today telling you how kundalini is still trying to bust down that one hardened armored wall!  Instead, I have hundreds, thousands of victories both big and small that has made the last three years easier.

The last three years has been a time period where MOST of my energy field was cleared with mostly sacral/root blocks remaining.  it has been challenging and sometimes utterly frustrating to see how big the block was, but I can say that over the last year especially, I have spent every single day surrendering to the flow of prana in the hopes that it would flow into those hard places and break up the material.  My meditations have shown me that it was a densely packed series of layers.  Some of the work that I have done has included utilizing a reiki practitioner as well as a  massage therapist who specializes in the Kahuna method, which honors the balance of the masculine and feminine current in our bodies.  I was able to break a lot of material free from those sessions.  I even reported a year or two ago how one reiki practitioner could not detect ANY blockages in my root and patted me on the back and admonished me about not trying to create a problem where no problem existed.  This was a person who was the head of a massage school and is well known in our community for her therapy work.  And this is mentioned as a cautionary tale that for those of you who are going extra deep into yourselves that there may be some who could help you that don’t….or can’t…perhaps because they themselves cannot feel that deep or detect what exists at such a cleared level.

I mean, think about it….most everyone on the planet is blocked from head to toe in some way or another.  I know this may sound severe, but as I awoke, my ability to sense energy was increased about three to four-fold.  Before then, I had been reading auras since I was 18 and I am now 50.  So lots of experience with this end of awareness…..and I can say that those who slumber are simply not aware all that much.  And it is probably good that they are not aware for the time being.  Only when you are ready to tackle such a backlog of material as we all have here on the planet can you really have any hope of getting it done.  otherwise it simply seems to be too big of a mountain.  I know that it has been a mountain for me, and I also know people who have been at this for decades who are still wearing away the stone, so to speak. I am not saying this to be negative, I am saying it because I observe that it is true.

So the “proof” part….

I was reflecting how I was able to magically release the soul connection I had when I first awakened.  God bless her, but she had issues that made dealing with her hard, and being connected to this, once I became aware of the hardness (I was not aware of the hardness in the beginning you see), it got more difficult.  But what “did it” was a couple of years ago when I initiated a correspondence with her in the hopes of clearing up whatever was left was the moment when she wrote to me, “Parker, I am really HAPPY in my life now…..I woke up and had someone like you to help me through it, to share and make sense of it…..and I now feel things I had not felt before but knew was possible….I really love my life!” Poof!  In that moment, it was like this thing gave way in me and I realized I was holding something up I just didn’t need to hold up anymore.  Then thre came this awareness in the clarified moment that I had known her in some official capacity as an advisor.  It FELT like she was a leader of some kind….and somehow I had let her down in some way.  THIS led to a hitch karmically that led to our connection later while in the super-charged environs of an awakening (a double-whammy!).  Then, as I began breathing more deeply and more slowly, I dropped down into it deeper and I was shown that no, I had not let her down.  It wasn’t event THAT clear-cut.  I had FELT like I had let her down.  Her problem was HER problem, but I had taken it to mean that I had failed her.

The interesting thing is that this was exactly what happened in another relationship…I was hooked, literally hooked into this fear of failing another person and letting it eat me up energetically and karmically.  It doesn’t matter what actually happened, it is HOW we choose to FEEL about an event that is the hook of karma.  And this is one reason why I have so much trouble with the concept of karma.  It is called “action” and I have recently considered maybe they were including inner action, because otherwise the definition as given by the Buddha seems…shallow….and prone to turning into being a punishment or something of the like.  People do this, though.  They are upset that something didn’t turn out the way they would like and they say “Karma is gonna get you!!!”  All the while, though, the deeper truth is that karma isn’t a punishment.  It is based on how far we have chosen, yes chosen, to turn away from our inner divine natures.  THAT nature is….perfect.  it does not NEED to be anything except perfectly itself.  And yet, we allow ourselves to get pulled in all these directions that are not in our highest.  Like me, just wanting people to be happy and failing at it because…..well…I am not the Lord of people’s happiness.  They are.  This was so bad in a prior relationship that my ex told my children that I had failed them at a time when I was sticking to my guns when the economy was in a rut.  Truth be told, when you tell children this kind of thing, YOU are the one “failing.”  But this was the consequence of living in this way.  The person who acted as the put-upon victim became the victimizer.  Terrible.  So it was in my interest to untangle this mess as soon as possible, right?

To learn more about how this all turned out, I have broken this post into two chapters, with the second one immediately following this one.  So now for chapter two….

 

 

waterish

In Indian Yogic tradition, the seven rungs of the ladder to cosmic consciousness involve preparation.  You can spend lifetimes climbing these ladders.  Many do.  The belief among nearly every person brought up in this tradition is that you cannot achieve the cosmic without years of preparation.  You just can’t. It is also one reason why I have witnessed people telling me on my blogs from India that what I am talking about cannot be kundalini.  Oh.  And you need to get diksha from a teacher.

A teacher.  Wait…the guru is in you, am I right?

What is happening to most westerners who have been experiencing a broad wave of awakenings is that this old notion is just not so.   Does this mean that the old rules are no longer applicable?  No.  In fact, the “rules” never really applied to us in this regard.  You CAN get there without preparing.  Most Swami’s and yogi’s are fond of saying that when you awaken, you are not attaining anything.  You are only reaching what has always been there.  I agree.  It is the authentic state which nearly every person on the planet has been holding back the flood waters of.  Yes.  But preparation is not a prerequisite.  Preparation is a very good idea, though.

The fact that so many have awakened without a discipline or belief or structure to support them helps to turn old notions on their head.  It also provides me with a view of awakening that comes at the experience from a completely different vantage point.  Without preparation, the self if pitched into a very intense experience where a lot of work needs to be done fairly quickly in order to assist in the reorientation of the self so that large sums of prana can flow through the self and body unimpeded.  Without this, the self tends to crumple, contract, freak, become anxiety-ridden, fearful, or even psychotic.  It is like taking a step outside of your home one morning and finding that there is nothing there and that in order to get to anything, you have to take a giant leap forward in order to land on solid ground.

It means you hurry up and do the work that you need to do.  But it also means that you come at all of this from a very different direction.  The traditions are turned on their head.  This means that with the accelerant of pranic flow present that what you do is also much more effective if you apply yourself to your own intuition and seek ardently.  The higher self is available to you if you just realize that you CAN tap into it.  Awareness is key.  The moment you slip into the old concept of ego, you lose a bit of its power, its majesty that can shoot you to the moon.  Feet on the ground, soul soaring high and free.  There is abundance in both modes of being.  It is not either/or but both. Events will change and life will become your great teacher in ways that show you that every single moment has been a lesson for you.  Good golly, how can I even begin to describe the lessons that pop up in the moment for me in each day?  Life is now rich with these now that I am looking for them, aware that they are there.  And this has the effect of transforming how you see everything.  It sounds grandiose, but its actually quite simple. It is a new way of seeing that is the result of the self thinking to itself that it is mundane and singular and not connected to the All. When you feel the connection to the universe in a nondual way, it is a revolutionary experience because it changes your world view so radically, but also very quietly.  Only here do I crow about it.  I crow about it because of just how amazing it has rendered the old tones and hues of my life.

What I observed in what triggered my awakening is something that I think is of vital importance for us when we speak about awakening.  The Hindu tradition masks this to a certain degree with all of the methods and years of preparation.  And it is this: when you remove what divides you, awakening comes.  I noted this as central to my awakening experience.  When I went to look for some corroborative evidence out there on the internet that others had had my same experience (I didn’t know this had a name like “awakening” or “kundalini”), I found ancient Christian texts that had not made it into the orthodox teachings and were considered heretical.  These documents, it turns out, are part of the origin of Christian thought and instead of being heresy as those in the church have tried to maintain, are now being revealed to be part of the very origin of central teachings of Jesus.  Things get complicated with this, but trust me….I have done extensive research into this area and this is supported by significant research in the last century by historians and linguists.

Awakening without preparation is not impossible.  You just have to contend with a lot of very intense things, many of which are the product of things shrouded in the old belief systems you have had in place previous to it taking place until you can see things differently and BE different.  YOU are the change you want to see in the world.

I know that with all the info out there with systems and methods that it might sound simplistic for me to say that ALL of this is about allowing the flow of prana, but really, that is JUST what ALL of this is.  Along with pranic flow comes the breaking down of your old beliefs along with certain parts of your personality that have been tied to ideas or beliefs that were limiting in nature.  A LOT flows out from prana moving in high volume in the body including the Dark Night of the Soul, siddhis, and a whole range of awakening phenomenon.  But it is just this simple.  Like a mustard seed, you see. It grows large, unbelievably large as it develops.

This can be done.  It is how I did it.  I know, that in a way, I was preparing for years, I just never did yoga or adhere to a belief system or any of that. Is it really effective to go about it this way?  I know that for myself, there was a level of perspective that came with awakening that I don’t think I would have been able to embody had it not been for the whirlwind cleansing that took place during awakening.  I was stuck in my life. I was afraid to make any more because of how the people were in that life.  Awakening helped to shake me out of complacency and showed me my life in brilliant contrasts.  I don’t think I could have gotten to where I am now without it.  It was the missing ingredient I had been seeking my whole life.  In fact, my “seeking” simply came to a complete halt once awakening came. I felt this odd sense of, “…..I am here.  I have done it.” When I thought I had lived an examined life the higher self showed just how pinched and small my perspective had been.  Like a fool, I woke up and realized that yes, this thing is a whole other realm of understanding the self.  And in order for it to keep doing its work, you cannot delude yourself but remain open like a child to the possibilities that what you know today, while vastly different from before awakening, is itself just another point along the road.  the road, meanwhile, goes on for light years….. right?  Each moment can thus become a humbling moment if you let it.  Precious, special, and the only one like it.  So much around it expands into larger dimension making everything here seem inconsequential…..and yet I find that no; every sparrow falls and it is known.  This thing, the divine, interpenetrates everything. And so?  Everything waxes sheer marvel.  There is no such thing as inconsequential.

Waking up is a call to hurry up and do the “work” which is surrendering to the spirit that is what connects you to the divine, the higher self, and to what you are within.  Simple.  Everything else is details.  No I know; what position to sit in?  Whatever is most comfortable to you.  Really.  Diet?  Your inner self will tell you.  Your body will tell you.  Mantra?  “Surrender.”  You don’t need a method.  You only need yourself and a willingness to see it in a new way.  I know this because I have done it.  So can you.

नमस्ते

We like to think that what our senses tell us is the whole story about our world. The problem with this idea is that the senses feed into this machine called a brain, and the brain is this pattern recognition machine.  And these patterns are subject to what our beliefs are.  The upshot?  We see what we believe.  
Have you ever heard of the term “Cognitive Dissonance”?  It is something psychologists were all over, from Freud, Jung, and Reich.  It basically means that if you hold a belief in something, you will ignore all evidence that this might overturn the belief.  
You literally will ignore the events in your life that could serve to transform your life by allowing you to see the way things are.  
We live in our own world.  We do.  It is this hologram as some people call it.  But it is one that WE have made.  Most folks don’t like this idea, so they make it someone else’s doing.  But it is ours.  And, like an immovable stone, it waits for us on the day when we wake up to this reality. But having an awakening is not even enough to move it.  I know people still tangled up in their own awakening process just like I was. There is no magic moment when you become enlightened.  It is itself a process and is dependent on how you choose to apply yourself to it. And then?  Then the honesty sets in if you are serious about real change because that cognitive dissonance is most often about a whole host of false or limiting beliefs that make you less than you actually are.

A number of years ago, in the pitched experience of awakening, my marriage dissolved.  It was the most merciful thing that could have happened, actually.  Waking up, I came to realize just how poorly matched I had been with my wife.  It was one of those moments when I just turned around one day and wondered, “What on earth were we thinking?”  But THAT is the result of being able to see things as they are, not HOW we are, or at least a part of how they are.  It wasn’t even about making the other person into the bad guy.  It was just a bad match, and the “match” was more about what needed to be healed in both of us than anything else.  This had shifted significantly in me to the point where it created this divide, a sudden difficulty in being able to relate to this person.  It is, I will point out, something that can happen when you move through awakening and heal old issues.  I had trouble even relating to myself and what I had tried to be for so long.  It was not hard for me to see why I had done what I had done.  It was all laid out in front of me.  I was willing to forgive it and let it go.  But that would be too easy, right?  Oh so human….

My divorce helped to show me just how we choose to see.  It was hard, though, this look. It took a lot of willingness to REALLY look at it.  My wife, unable to just let go, held on to her own anger, a problem that had been there the day I had met her, I knew.  No finger pointing here, it was just how it was.  But like that person who is so unable to really look at themselves, it became everyone else’s fault. It showed me that even when someone is alienating their kids from the other parent, which she did,  that some people just can’t see themselves or what they are doing. But hang on! I was affected by this! I came riding in as the knight in shining armor to save the day, to make the world better and brighter! I was energized by her junk….and THAT is truth!
 It would have been a joke, a funny one, had there not been so much at stake.  I find it comical that someone would hold a grudge about something that was based on something that she wasn’t even entitled to, but this was her junk, and I had ridden right in thinking I could change it. Are you kidding me? Was I delusional, or what?!

By getting in this tangle, I was dealing with someone was was not above alienating my kids in order to hurt me when we were divorcing. I kind of anticipated it. What on earth had I done? What was it in me that led me to such a mess?
I really thought I could make it better. That’s it. Nutshell. But the thing in it for me? Being accepted. Getting approval. And I did this by being with someone who was utterly unable to do this! Wow, now THAT made a whole bunch of sense, am I right??? Excuse me while I hold my sides from laughing so much. 
It is nice to finally be able to laugh at myself. I mean the kind of laughter where you are watching yourself from the past like it’s a home movie that was deadly serious at the time but is now just….utterly hilarious!! Really? Oh my goodness!

 That was what it really came down to.  For me, it was my relationship with my kids that was at stake, and this was the hook for me.  It is a hard hook because it means you have to be super honest about who is doing what and why. It is so easy to get into finger pointing and the blame game. Only then do things clarify.  When it is a mess like what I went through, you have to be really honest and clear or else it is so murky a thing that no one knows what is happening because of what can be the actions of one person who is acting out.

If you know me, my children are my life.  They are.  I grew up wanting children.  When I was in high school I was dreaming of when I would have children, what we would do, how it might be.  So to have someone who had loved me do what she did during the divorce was doubly hard.  It was a betrayal harder than if she had an affair. At the time, knowing how she was abusing her power as a parent by telling my children things that just weren’t true, behind my back and in her own echo chamber, was like being murdered. My kids, me, all of us, just flattened, torn, and destroyed. I read up on this and found that this type of abuse has a name, and I saw every single symptom in my kids and I. The articles described my ex to a T. My jaw dropped. I had just spent 16 years of my life living with someone who made everything my fault.
And you know what? It serves me right!
The consequences of her actions were damaging to my kids.  Sadly, this kind of behavior happens so much during divorces….but it always throws you for a loop when it happens. An intelligent person with all of this education winds up being a kook, or a bully. It is just so strange that someone could hold onto such a deep sense of anger and hatred for so long.  Life is just too short to hold on to the thought that I was doing her wrong by Standing up for what I knew was her sense of entitlement to some things that belonged to my family.  In my case, I had always been very generous with my resources and they were available to my family for whatever was needed.  But deep down what I was also doing was seeking approval. That was my part. I wanted or needed to please people, and you know? I wound up attracting people who could not see the real gift, which was the love, not the family money or inheritance, or car or house, or whatever. 
Waking up, I knew that I could not continue this pattern. Otherwise it would just keep going like it had since I was a kid.  And the result was always the same; the people I was trying to please were never really pleased. They were perennially unhappy people. Something had to give. 
Over the years I have found that the biggest snag for people in my life is often over material things.  I have held to this realization that if I can’t be with someone on my own merits, then its probably about something material.  Here, when its about “stuff” then it isn’t really about love or compassion. My ex really equated material giving with love. It’s nice to give and receive, but not when it’s the main proof that love is there. Then love is a transaction. It feels like prostitution.

Divorce can be a liberating experience, and it was for me.  But it was also like a death.  In my case, I had a child who, caught in the echo chamber of my ex, he was unable to free himself from the words that were being thrown at him.  Instead of inquiring into what was being said, he just swallowed it.  So hard, all the way around.  One child chose to hear the other side and it was this willingness that saved my other child from the very corrosive behavior of a parent who wants nothing else but to make your kids hate you for something that happened between you and the other parent.  Pawns.  She was moving them around like emotional pawns.  
People told me, “Parker, your kids will grow up and they will realize what went down….kids are amazing bullshit detectors.”  I was not so sure, though.  So much was at stake.  I hadn’t signed up for this.  I had done what I knew was the fair thing.  I didn’t ask something of my ex that I knew was not right.  But free will is a funny thing.  And being able to really take that long deep look inside of yourself, equally difficult to do for some.  We all suffer from this in relative degrees.  The deeper you go, the more honest you have to be, it seems to me.

I once had someone who said that what I was doing was pulling out the violins and playing the “poor me” song.  Saying this struck me as the height of stupidity.  I use the word carefully.  I do.  Stupid in its truest sense is a lack of awareness or intelligence about issues which a person knows very little about.  And it is about as insensitive as someone trying to shame a victim of abuse….because that is just what it is. It turns out that this person had been my “twin” (she believed) and engaged in all of the same deceitful behavior as my ex. Why? Because I was not healed from the wounds inflicted by my ex…the things she did that I responded in pain over. My junk. My reaction. My thing to heal

I am a grown-up.  I can handle someone who is coming to me with their own misgivings and saying so and hashing it out.  But to drag children into it is just….terrible.  We want to protect our children from the things that they are not able to handle emotionally.  They grow from infants all the way into adulthood, and as parents, we are carefully feeding them more and more rope so they can go out into the world as they gradually grow and develop and mature.  So when someone says I am just complaining about events that I set into motion, they just don’t get it. They don’t.  I DID choose that person, and I take complete responsibility for that.  But when that person hurts my children?  You just don’t get it if you think this way.  Being a parent is a divine contract.  And yes, my children are their own person, but when caught in the echo chamber of hurt, how can anyone expect to flower?  To dream, to be, to become without this hurt creating unnecessary challenges for them for life?  A parent can do so much by simply providing a loving environment for that child to have the room, safe room, to discover themselves….even if that means that it is done alone.
Cognitive Dissonance also worked on my side, too, keeping me blind to the realities of these people, my identity as a wounded disemboweled male. Wow. That’s a bad combination.

It is a big wake up moment when you turn around and see this all happening. It is urgent that things change.  But we can only change ourselves.  The voice in my head was telling me “Trust in the power to change because it has the seeds that can help the world itself to change.”

We all choose our experience based on how we feel about ourselves….our beliefs, our notions, and those things that remain deeply shoved down within.  The task of waking up is cleaning that all up.  It is a cleansing.  And this is no less evident to me in my own experience because, after all, I was drawn to that which I had not yet healed and obviously had some unfinished business with.

I was listening to a guy I like from India talk about this.  He was speaking to this as part of the path to entering cosmic consciousness.  I like him partly because so much of what he says has been a part of my experience.  Swami Rama. There is no use in trying to convey just how profound these things are.  What they mean to me and how they have changed my life is…well….my experience.  To know it, you have to find it for yourself.  It is less a thought or idea or neat catch-phrase and more a deep well of being that you find within.  Already there.  Ready for discovery.  And to do this means that to go deeper, you have to clean all that mess up within.  It leaves you wondering how on earth you went on for so long in such slumber.

Most folks are not aware of the backlog of this material.  It stands in the way of realization of the self and what it is.  Yogis prepare for this by doing meditation and the seven steps within yoga systems.  I think it is a reasonable thing to do….important….but it does not guarantee results by becoming awake.  To awaken, this is simple.  So simple in fact that it eludes most of us.  Right under our noses, we simply have to settle down and allow ourselves enough time to inquire within.  Instead of looking outward, you just turn the focus within and begin to clean things up.  And sometimes this is enough to spark awakening.  Sometimes just being around someone who is awake is enough to remind you of what this state is.  But what happens so simply leads to a path or experience that leads you deeper and deeper into yourself in order to clean up all that stuff you didn’t get to before this happened.  For westerners who do not have a tradition of meditation or certain types of yoga (or even awareness of what awakening is), this often means that we come to it fresh from the junk pile and we most often get to work chiseling away the mass of our material.

To continue on this path means  a continuing honesty with the self.  We are notorious for hiding from ourselves.  We are.  And we do it out of fear.  But what if I told you that what lies on the other side of that mass of thick junk in you is joy and wonder and bliss?  Many years ago, struggling with my own awakening, a guide showed up and looked at me and said, “You would not be doing this if you knew what lay on the other side of this…”  He meant that I could not see how the problem was all of my own making and that to enter more deeply into who I was would lead naturally to a state of realization and bliss. This is the natural result, the wonder and awe of living in such a place as this. It is knowing who you are in this way that is new, novel, wonderful, and also hopeful because lying on the other side of all your troubles in working through the process is something so simple and great.

What I am working on is the realization that everyone is at their own level of knowing who they are.  Some, by comparison, seem utterly delusional….but isn’t this the human condition?  “My delusion is not as bad as your delusion” is how I and everyone else tends to think.  We spiral out of this, and as it gets better….as we look at those trailing behind and we think, “Sheesh! Wow, how messed up are they??” And yet, I too was there, those miles behind where I am.  The task is to develop a through and through level of acceptance that a soul chooses something for a reason, and sometimes the most messed up stuff winds up being important in their redemption.  Sometimes we just can’t see until we let things get so bad that it shakes us from our slumber.  And inside of that lies the seeds of a new life.  So for as hard as what I experienced in my divorce was, I trust that the souls that are my children came into this knowing that this was the situation and something in them needed it.  Afterall, the challenges I had as a child has led me to being far stronger than I would otherwise be.  There is more work to do.  For all of us, me included.  So I worry about me and trust as I used to before awakening that it will all work out.  I know that when I let go, something tends to take shape that could not take form before I was holding on to an outcome.  My sister was speaking to this as we talked about this on Mother’s Day.  She was saying how important it was to let go of our own hard stuff because it holds people into similar positions within themselves….and this naturally led to talk about a whole host of healing modalities.  You see, my family has been heavily involved in the mental health arena for years professionally.  My mother was a counselor and my sister did the same, running a business that is involved in being an intermediary for helping people get the services they need.  She has in recent years gone from a hard crusty person to someone far more nuanced and sensitive to the more subtle aspects of our own inner ability to heal ourselves.  We come from a thread of interest in how the psyche works and we each come at it from slightly different angles. It makes for some interesting discussions these days.

When you trust in the universe and get out of your own way, you open doors you may have not even known existed.  Knowing that we see things as we are, what does this tell you about yourself?  Can you allow the inner witness within you to turn around and begin to look honestly at yourself?  Its probably one of the most substantive types of inner work a person can do, I think. Onward and upward!

 

“Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance.”

-Albert Einstein

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