Archives for category: dream work

Ever have dreams of people who you do things with? When I was younger, I had dreams of helping people who were dying or who had just died, to cross over and to get settled in their new environment. I also was paired with a woman my age who I had never met for some of these jobs.

I think this points to how we really are multidimensional: our existances aren’t these linear progressions that we thought. We are the angels and devils both.

Inanna

Many years ago I came across a writing that was attributed to a goddess named Inanna. In it she was asking for her lover, Demuzi, to come and make love to her. While reading this ancient poem, I felt the echo of awareness present in that ancient tradition with the power that is within awakening, which I contend, is the result of a unity of the opposites of our nature (and the hemispheres in our brain). I shared it with a friend at the time who was knee-deep in the concept of divine union and she agreed that it was an important chapter. That was about 2010.

Fast forward to 2017. I am corresponding with someone who I suspected I had known whose work I had read online a few times and wound up having a most unusual dream about. Driven by a sense of familiarity, I found that there had been something there, but where and when, I had no idea. Instead of trying to shoe-horn it into a narrative, I did what I do nowadays: I waited. One evening while checking on my glass furnaces in the studio, I heard in my mind a clear voice that said “He was a lead general in the army of a king…” This was my first bread-crumb and it did what tantalizing lead-ins always do: it opened my intuitive faculties wide. Suddenly I saw a space, a bedroom and a window that looked out onto a courtyard. Details rose up spontaneously all around me. There were no glass windows, but shutters. I saw here there, tall and willowy, but dark and rich in body tone and skin. She wasn’t from here, I knew, she was from further North…maybe closer to Turkey, I thought. How I knew all of this, I couldn’t tell you. I later learned that what I was seeing was very much on-point. There she was, like a message from the past, one iteratiin amongst many, and many frustrated until I learned that it’s not my job to pull people out of their own tar pits. Still…there is this love that always moves us to want to help. “They have to grasp what helping themselves mean. Until then, they remain conflicted and in desire.”

The building was massive and tall, and my take was that this was a palace, although this would make it an ancient palace built in a desert country. When I thought about where this was, I found that I could feel it out. Was it Arab? No. Turk? No. Certainly not Persian. Not Judean. Not Roman. Not Greek. And then as I felt into it, there arose a clear thought: “This was in Babylon.” Iraq. Assyrian. Aruk, Ur….I began to see moments, like snapshots, from that life. How dry the land was and what lengths I went to to see that water got hauled up to the palace for bathing and for growing flowers and plants for my wife (later I would learn that we were king and queen of this patch of desert) was testimony to the care present. Yes it was a desert, but I will make it into a garden…

Fast forward two more years and I was doing much the same again, checking on my furnaces late at night, and in a quiet moment, thinking about the memories of this time in Babylon. Up until that moment this memory was completely anonymous, a kind of ghost, something I could not prove one way or the other. As I crossed the floor of the studio in the exact location where I had received the first clue, I received another, which was like hearing a conversation that had been interrupted for a couple of years which I was now getting to hear in its entirety. It went just like this: “….He was a general to a king, who then became king.” With that one extra detail, that one extra data point, a trove of information began to take shape. I had seen the room, I had seen outside. I saw a cast bronze “keeper” that held the shutters open that looked like a bit like a star with many points. I later looked this detail up and saw the same image depicted on relief carvings of the royal family of that time—it was star anise, an herb used in cooking at that time. It was so revered that it made its way into all manner of decoration, it turned out.

I saw plants growing stories below in the courtyard, a place I knew they would not have normally grow. Great effort was made to keep this garden alive in this desert land. I saw myself, what I looked like, a dark-haired man with a barrel chest who was busy keeping a kingdom going. What I realized, too, was with the addition of “..and who became king” I might be able to find this man since serving as a general to a king and then becoming king was akin to finding a unicorn. Commoners, who might serve under a king, hardly ever rise to a royal station themselves. How often does that happen? Right. Incredibly rare, if it happens at all. So I looked it up.

There were plenty of generals that served under Assyrian kings, but there was only ever one general who went on to become king of present day Iraq. That man was the father to a king who was written about in the Old Testament Bible as Nebuchadnezzar II. His father, Nabopolassar, had ascended to the throne by way of what looks to have been a coup, a moment when the new heir to the throne showed some ambivalence about taking power. That was the man I saw in a bronze mirror. It was in that gap that I stepped in and essentially said, to heck with this. We need to take our country back.

At this time in its history, which was around 620 B.C., Babylon was ruled by a king from another region. Babylon was effectively being occupied by those who were not native to the land, Assyrians. Nabopolassar roused his troops, offered them positions in the new government if they helped him topple the heirs to the throne after the king Ashurbanipal died, and achieved it.

The most important take-away from that life was how important it is to appreciate what it is that you have and what you have built. I saw how people, despite how easy they had it, were unhappy creatures, and it has underlined to me today how solitary some journey’s are. While we always want others by our side, there is also an element of the solitary vision that is part of this interesting duality which seems to seek to evolve itself in the breach between the two polarities.

I also knew that my wife, my Queen, knew about sacred union of the kind that was practiced in those days. This was known later as heiros gamos, which is essentially how the ancients “let in” the gods and goddesses onto our plane of existence. This practice would be described or explained as fertility rites where the god and goddess join in union with the king and queen in order to help bring the rains or fertility to the fields. You see this same imagery in the Arthurian legend, for example. In that culture, Beltane was itself a practice whereupon the people would go out into the fields to practice ritual sex because it was believed that this brought fecundity to the crops and guaranteed a good harvest. As I read about the culture at this time sure as shooting, the King and Queen would take part in ritual sex, the heiros gamos, each season as part of their religious ceremonies. Why not all the people? Why just the King and his Queen or a temple priestess? This is something that I have wondered about for ages to be honest because I have always seen this as a fault in our psychological DNA. It is always an authority who told us what was what, or who performed the important rituals. Even today we want others to do this kind of work for us: to tell us the truth, the way to go, the way to meditate, the way to wake up, or once awakened tell me what’s what….just hold my hand and please tell me what to do and where to go!

Why is that? And yes, I was certainly part of that. It may be one reason why I stand for individuality today to the degree that I do. “No guru, no method…” has been my very Van Morrison-esque mantra. All I needed was my Queen, the one whose very presence was electric, whose presence crackled with this magnetic quality born out of knowing herself. It was this person who I instantly recognized today in the writings online of a person I didn’t even know. It was like a needle in a haystack kind of experience…except there are no accidents. What I learned though was how important it was to let others be where they are and not feel like I have to be with them because we were together in the past. Not everyone is the right match either. The desire for energetic connections is very seductive, but without a day to day anchoring in the physical, these unions are like plants that grow reedy and thin like grass under a pail that gets little sun….it arcs toward what it thinks is the light and the energy of the creative gets ever stronger because that is how we are, we are creative beings, so the energy seems stronger but it is because it is trying so hard to reach completion. “Not this time, apparently” said the voice in the back of my heart. So you let it be a grand love but it is one that cannot manifest in the present. In that was an important lesson to me today. It might have been a lesson on offer back then, too, because sometimes our patterns can follow us for thousands of years and through countless lifetimes. I just can’t see how living this way would make anyone happy. Luckily, it is only mind to wonder and not to know. Peace be with the past.

In the wake of this, I have been a little more interested in Babylonian culture and history. What I know about it encompasses what is taught about in Sunday school and touched on in early elementary school, which was how Nebuchadnezzar II created a new dynasty or empire. I realized recently that the poem of Inanna about her lover Demuzi was in fact Babylonian, and I was reminded of my memories. I looked up Inanna and began to realize that she was an incredibly important goddess, a goddess that would be copied by other cultures and would become the Great Mother in Western regions. When you read about Inanna and the hymns written to you, the sense is that the Babylonian culture revered the feminine. I do wonder about this, though. In India, there are more goddesses than gods in their pantheon of deities and yet the culture remains mired in a class system that has a built-in misogyny. I suspect, though, that these beliefs or images emerge through very real beliefs held at one time or another, as cultures tend to be a kind of amalgam of centuries worth of movements that come and go much like clothing styles do. Each leave their mark on the cultural memory of the people such that a period a thousand years ago of fervent reverence for the feminine may be eclipsed, or diluted by other concerns that come along later. I suspect culture, then, is a giant patch-work or anthology of different views and concerns that are the result of particular periods in time.

For Inanna, she appears to be nearly everything to the people of Ur in 600 B.C. and earlier Babylon. What is so interesting is how the name sagurra or even sakura is associated with Inanna’s name in the scholarly works. It looks like to me that sagurra or sakura (as it is alternatively referred to) may be part of her name, but a part that most Westerners don’t know about. These are a bit tricky to find because there has been so many thousands, hundreds of thousands, in fact, clay tablets that have been unearthed that span thousands of years worth of Babylonian culture. Many were carted off by the British and lie in vaults, photographed along with their accession data, but without translation. Many of these tablets were little more than shopping lists, or inventories to aid in keeping records. In some, however, important cultural details are included. The use of sagurra/sakura is curious and there is no explanation about the significance of this name or designation, or its background. This was found in the article published by De Gruyter in 2009 by Åke W Sjöberg Entitled In-nin sagurra. A Hymn to the Goddess Inanna by the en-Priestess Enheduanna

I often wonder if light language as it is termed isn’t in some way tied to this epoch in history. I know it may sound odd, but there is a story about the universality of language that exists in the Old Testament Bible, and that story is tied to the Babylonian culture. What I suspect is that this story is itself an old memory about how language could be made to be universal through speaking in tongues, something referred to as glossolalia.

When I first heard someone speak in tongues in this way, I found, surprisingly, that I could understand parts of what was being said. What I found was happening was that the nonsense of the language made it impossible for me to use my logical mind to tease out the details, and the less rational and larger-seeing part of my mind was then engaged. I found, quite to my surprise, that I felt like I knew what was being said, but it wasn’t because I understood what the person was saying in terms of an easily decoded vocabulary. Instead, nothing was known about this language, but it was (again, I suspect) the sing-song quality of the language that put me into an altered state which had the effect of opening up my own innate telepathic abilities. Otherwise, none of this encounter made any sense to me. I had this whole dialog in my mind that I somehow “got” as a result of hearing this woman speaking in this language…and it was pretty crazy because of what happened next…

Later, the person who was speaking in this language told me what she was going through, and what she was describing in her language, I was stunned to find that I had picked up on all of the main points that she had been “saying” despite the fact that her language had no reference to English or any other language that I am myself familiar with. What I am suggesting when it comes to light language, which I suspect is the very same thing as glossolalia or speaking in tongues, is that the sounds of the language access certain parts of our minds which are naturally intuitive and psychic and those pathways are opened up through the process of speaking in this way. I also suspect that this is an old capacity that we as humans have had and I also suspect that this is what is behind the story of the Tower of Babel, except with a twist.

“Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.'” (Genesis 11:4)

I point this out because what it does is it helps to show that we have had periods in our past when we were more developed psychically than we may realize today with our languages that serve to so narrow down experience as to make accessing these numinous realms impossible. What we need, spirit suggests, is a language that can open us up to our larger innate potential, and I suspect that what most people would call “nonsense languages” are precisely what is necessary. If you talk to someone who is familiar with light language you will likely find that what they say is not a normal language in the way that we think of it today, but in some cases is a language that has the capacity to convey states of being or energetic states and feeling states in a single word or term without the customary descriptions that take place with languages that we use today. A word in light language can act as a key to open the soul or energy body to a certain experience. This language, then, can work as a triggering device, a kind of soulful technology that uses sound and “words” but in a completely different way. I suspect, since language is always contained and processed in the left brain in humans, that this language is a language that is used by the right brain and as such does not have the same kinds of rules pertaining to it as English, French, Arabic, or Persian does. It is interesting, too, because Hebrew contains within it what appears to be a memory of this concept for how words could cause things to happen in consciousness. In Genesis certain Hebrew letters were used to spell out the creation. If you dig deep into the Hebrew language you see that there are all kinds of references made to each letter (such as a numerical counterpart for instance) and this all gets very mystical very quickly. When I say this, I mean to say that it looks like Hebrew may have been used in the distant past as a language for speaking to the soul directly.

At this time in antiquity, all the people spoke the same language and their minds were befuddled so that they could no longer understand each other. I find this interesting. is this the memory of an age-old capacity that we have had for a very long time to understand this type of language regardless of the language that we ourselves speak? Additionally, it is commonly known in Christianity how the Holy Ghost is what brings on the speaking in tongues. The Holy Ghost was known to be the feminine aspect with the Godhead and that godhead was not found outside a person but was inside of them. The implications of this knowledge, then, are immense, and also is congruent with the work that I am doing on Early Christianity and how the early dogma started out as something quite different….before it began to be changed or misunderstood or misconstrued. That, though is for another time, but it is interesting that the feminine is found here in all of this because the feminine itself is the quality in each person and is found in the nonlinear right brain. It was in bringing the union of the two opposites together that sacred union was known within the person, this is literally the genesis of being resurrected, or reborn, and also of kundalini, which was being taught in the earliest day of Christianity (yes really). All of this is to point to how the feminine is in all of us and can be honored and brought forward. It is literally the missing link in ecstatic experience and in enlightenment. This is the opposite end of the electrical circuit, not switched into the “on” position.

It is interesting, too, to note that the person who is credited as being involved in the building of the Tower in Genesis was a man named Nimrod. When we look in Babylonian accounts, we cannot find a similar character as the Jewish tradition describes, but what the story does do in Genesis is to explain that Nimrod was one of the first Babylonian kings. What I suspect is that there was a memory of the babylonians having a means for speaking to others who didn’t speak their native tongue and this became, over time, to be thought of as a universal language that all people spoke (and that might be true in a certain sense: we may have had a much greater facility for glossolalia in our past). This story might help to chronicle how human beings fell away from using this inner language of the soul that was a kind of nonlinear and non-rational language. All of this in a place where a goddess was revered.

All of this may look like a giant rabbit hunt (first one path then another), but what I suspect is that as you go back through time you reach periods when the goddess was revered. When that happens, I contend, you find a culture that is much more mobile in its consciousness. Men, revering women, are much more ready to see how the qualities we ascribe to women are also in the male, and vica versa. Inanna was seen as a goddess of love, nurture and sex….but she was also seen as a goddess who could make war. She was a goddess that could make the rain showers come to help plants thrive while also sending storms that could also destroy. If we go back far enough, we likely see a time when the priestesses of Inanna spoke in this language which some call light language in order to reach the states and to convey the information that they would bring back from those alternate states of mind. It is interesting, too, because the priestesses of Inanna would use a drum in their work and it is well known now that certain drum beat frequencies can induce different brain states. It is possible to go into an alternate brain state, such as a theta state through drumming alone. When we see drumming in so-called primitive cultures we also find visionary work being done. Many shamanic cultures utilize drumming or repetitive sound within certain frequencies in order to induce the brain states necessary to begin accessing what many call “vision space.” This space is marked by the lack of any reference to time and as such one could easily see or sense the presence of shamans in that space from other times and places, even thousands of years past or hence. Amongst the Lakota it is observed that when one cries for a vision, the place they enter is the same space that all other visionaries have been. This isn’t because the Lakota have unlocked something special for themselves alone. They recognize something that many other cultures also have recognized, which is what we might call a “field” of nonlocality that has more to do with states of mind as a “location” over their being a “space” in spirit. As such those who long for the days of the Goddess can find themselves very close to her in alternate states of mind….something that is happening to a greater degree today with all of the awakenings.

I will also point out that the Goddess, in whatever form you might take her, represents at the level of the archetype, a quality not just in women but qualities in consciousness itself. When we take the archetype of Shakti and Shiva we see a description of the potentiating of the left and right brains, of the logic (male) and the nonlinear nonlogical (feminine) parts of the human physiology regardless of sex. As such, kundalini, depicted as these two sexual forces (opposites) rise upward to join in union because when the two opposite forces in consciousness reach union it feels orgasmic, hence the reference to men and women as one. In the early Christian mythos, the father and mother join together to create the third, the Christ, in what is seen as a divine syzygy, which is described androgynous and capable of drawing from both sides of the self. These systems are describing not a sexual quality but a spiritual one since both men and women both can experience both sides of this dynamic. This is not a desexualization of the person but instead a drawing together of the two opposite forces (as contained and processed by the left and right brain in both men and women) which results in all of the lights and sounds and explosive qualities that we generally ascribe to kundalini. This is why the twin serpents meeting at the crown were used to describe the experience in the Hindu tradition. The Buddha, upon awakening, expressed joy that he could feel this level of bliss because it mean that the didn’t need to be with a woman in order to achieve this. That was one person, though, and I find that path uninteresting to say the least, but it does speak to what this energy can do. The images below are from present day France, are preChristian and show a man who has developed control over the serpent, his own vital force and energy. This has brought him into a harmony with all life around him.

When we see the goddesses along with the gods you typically will find a spectrum of ecstatic experience and an awareness of what we call awakening. Curious, isn’t it? There is evidence that this was known in Europe with the imagery of the Cernunos, which was found in Gaul (present day France). In Ireland, snake imagery was tied to vital force and was throughout the culture, despite St Patrick’s efforts to “drive them into the sea.” Early Christian imagery contained many references to the serpent in Ireland, just so long as the locals didn’t admit that they were anything other than the one who deceived Adam and Eve in the garden. In the case of the Cernunos, the man is shown in a number of depictions holding a serpent and no other animal.

In ancient cultures the serpent represented vital force and an energy in human beings tied to a mystic realization. So universal was it that we see the serpent even being used in Asia and Meso-america under the same banner as elsewhere. In the case of Quetzalcoatl, the serpent would consume the human in order to take it on journeys of the spirit. On the one hand the serpent could be problematic, but on the other, for one who had mastered it, a path to the divine.

It was Moses who also “raised the serpent” in the desert. We are told that the cast brass depiction of a serpent on a staff was enough to cure snake bites, but it may be that this is an old memory of a time when people were being awakened and by meditating on the image of the serpent, they could complete the process of ascension and find relief since the “serpent” of awakening rises (just as it can also fall or expand out into awareness). It seems unlikely that a person could look at such an image and be cured of snake bites. I suspect that the origins of this action on the part of Moses was lost to the average person and so their best guess has prevailed (albeit one that doesn’t make a lot of sense). The point being that where these images are found we find ecstatic experience and a greater awareness of ourselves as energetic beings that exist beyond this one world. The curtain of perception is pulled back, intuition increases, and insight grows. Since the feminine qualities in consciousness are part of this, we would expect to see female imagery, perhaps in the form of forces in nature or in animals or expressed as a woman herself. In the case of Inanna, she was seen as pretty much the whole kit and kaboodle. The hymn in part follows.

You alone are majestic, you have renown, heaven and earth…..not….You rival An and Enlil, you occupy their seat of honour. You are pre-eminent in the cult places, you are magnificent in your course…..The great gods kissed the earth and prostrated themselves. The high mountain land, the land of cornelian and lapis lazuli, bowed down before you.” And then a few paragraphs later: “…mercy and pity are yours, Inanna….To cause the heart to tremble,…..illnesses are yours, Inanna. To have a wife….to love…are yours, Inanna. To rejoice, to control…are yours Inanna. Neglect and care, raising and bowing down are yours Inanna. To build a house, to create a woman’s chamber, to possess implements, to kiss a child’s lips are yours, Inanna. To run, to race, to desire and to succeed are yours Inanna. To interchange with the brute and the strong and the weak and the powerless is yours Inanna.”

SOURCE: https://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/section4/tr4073.htm

Additionally, Inanna (Sumerian) is also referred to as Ištar (Akkadian) who is also tied to the morning star Venus. She has an aspect that is dual: she is a nurturer, but she is warlike. In many ways she is a study in contrasts, and it appears to me that her many faces are the result of how the people felt they needed to invest her with qualities that the people themselves wanted to possess.

She is included in the epic of Gilgamesh as a lover who he ultimately rejects because of how her other lovers were cast aside and destroyed. In Babylon, Inanna was part of the “sacred marriage” between king and the goddess, which helped to assure abundance to the land and its people. It is not clear whether this was an actual ritual that was performed by the king each year, or whether it was just an idea, a spiritual construct that the people believed in. I myself have a memory of what this kind of union entailed because I learned about it from this lifetime (among others: it seems that this is a pattern for me where I investigate many different aspects of spiritual union here on the planet).

What we find existing with rulers and the gods or goddesses in the past often wind up being qualities that each person actually had within themselves, but may have been a power or knowledge kept for the ruling elites and out of the hands of the great unwashed. Additionally, scholars have argued that the reason why in graves images of Inanna/Istar are more prevalent is because of her connection to the underworld or the spirit world. What I contend is that this world is not a place we go to but is instead part of a focus. We are focused now as physical beings, but that focus will shift once the body is dropped. Do we go somewhere?

Do our death stories suggest that we travel somewhere? My experience suggests that these are all belief constructs and all depend on the person involved. We experience the tunnel, I suspect, because that is what we experience at the beginning of our physical life, while exiting from the body of the mother and into the light. In today’s experience what do people see once they go into the light? Why, they see “the father” of course! And in our physical life, this is also what we do here, as many births attest to on earth. I was the first person to see my children when they were born as most fathers are. When we die we speak of god the father who we see. It is curious to consider how these experiences appear linked.

SOURCE http://oracc.museum.upenn.edu/amgg/listofdeities/inanaitar/

Ishtar evolved into Diana and Artemis in Asia Minor and Aphrodite in Greece. Interestingly, Inanna was worshipped by the Babylonians as the “Queen of Heaven” since the virgin Mary has been referred to this also. The belief in Mary as Queen of Heaven received the papal sanction of Pope Pius XII in his encyclical Ad Caeli Reginam (English: ‘Queenship of Mary in Heaven’) of October 11, 1954. Never mind that the Babylonians had beaten the Christians to the punch by at least a millennium! While Christians shrink back in horror over their images being tied to pagan images, I think it is all part of the great mill of the gods: we are all made in lines that are interrelated. We all seem to need our gods and goddesses to represent certain things as part of a larger curriculum of our evolution here on the planet. I know how that might sound, but I think that knowledge of the feminine waxes and wanes as we go through different epochs of development. Additionally, I would not say that the past was necessarily better for women even though Inanna was revered. In some cases, and in some cultures women’s lives were better. In Babylon, the first laws were written to protect people. The idea of a minimum wage comes from Babylonian law as has the concept of a woman being able to own property and to proceed with a divorce. I think there were times when things were better for women, and that our development has not been linear. We are, I think, readying for a kind of explosion into a new realm concerning our identities as humans and not all of it will be good, but not all of it will be bad, either. There will be people who go to extremes and others who will strike a perfect note that will catapult them out of ever needing to come back here for another incarnation.

What we know, though, is that these stories repeat, and the story of the Christ is itself a recombination of a much older story that had already had several incarnations in the world. Virgin births amongst god-men was common. Anyone who had been sufficiently different was said to have not been born of humans in some way shape or form. Inanna was one such god-woman who would serve as a template for others to come after her. What I find so interesting is how it may be that in the old times the concept of speaking in tongues may have been something that didn’t emerge just within Christianity, but was instead a quality in humans of just about any culture. This might also be a nonlinear and nonliteral language that concerns itself more with intensities of states over traditional word formation and symbol usage to help depict sounds, but instead symbolize qualities of consciousness. I have seen the symbols of this language in dream and in vision and what I saw is surprisingly similar to what some have drawn who claim to have seen this language. It’s a rather remarkable thing to have seen it and then you see someone who you have never spoken to who has the language on their site or they blog about it or they mention it in conversation in passing. If you have experience with this, I encourage your input. Am I full of it, or does any of this resonate? I suspect though that because of how the issue of awakening has followed along with me throughout many of my lifetimes, that my time In Babylon included elements of this as well.

Did the priestess of Inanna speak in that unified language described in the Old Testament? Was there a form of communication that was as much a part of the nonlinear right brain as spoken language is of the left brain? I am also reminded of Enki, the Sumerian God who, along with other creator beings, came to Earth to create human beings using a technology that may have been part genetic engineering and part hybridization. The Anunnaki were said to have been off-put by how humans spoke. They made a lot of racket. Was this because the language was so linear in nature? Were the Anunnaki telepathic? Are we experiencing a pattern of awakening and a return of the feminine spiritually that has been seeking to assert itself down through time? If so, I think it is high time that we get it right. We can begin on that path by being thankful, grateful for what we have and for what lies ahead for us to yet create. Being able to expand awareness of this innermost feminine can help the world in many ways. Perhaps Inanna calls to many of us from across the centuries still. The ancients once said that we are the ancestors to the gods….so perhaps it is true that the gods are creations, in part, from our own creative imaginings, or are at least in part at various stages of the process. Perhaps we make the gods and goddesses into our image as much as they make us into theirs…

I want to take a moment to tell you about someone who has figured strongly in my awakening journey.  I want to mention her because of how much experience she has in the arena of energy, consciousness, and awareness.  There is the saying that when the student is ready, the teacher arrives.  For me, this was true.  I wasn’t going to find a traditional teacher, though, this much is true, but at a very specific point in my awakening when I began questioning what it was that I was reading and hearing about the phenomenon (Twin Souls/Flames especially), she came along at just the right time. We struck up a friendship and would have conversation about the process of awakening, consciousness, and how we can recreate our lives to find a better way.

My friend is a professional psychic intuitive and has worked in the field for decades.  She is not a fortune-teller but is someone who uses her gifts to supercharge change for her clients.  She has worked with individuals, couples, groups, and businesses large and small.  Her gifts have been used on start-up projects that have gone on to do big business, to couples who are wanting to get married.  Big or small, Ali has helped people from every walk of life.  She is like a big fish that you would never realize is the big fish because of how humble and soft spoken that she is.

My friend and guide was born with gifts that were off-the-chart incredible.  Talking to her at first, it wasn’t readily apparent just who I was dealing with, but as time rolled on I began seeing the evidence of her gifts.  I have been lucky to have known her since 2008 to the present day.  I have gone through my own contortions and difficulties during that time, have remained dedicated to pushing my own envelope of understanding and find that my friend is still there as brilliant and as insightful as ever….and forgiving of my own difficulties when I try to push them onto others (we call that projection!).

What is so amazing about my friend and her gifts is that she was not born with the “veil” that most have.  If you ask me how this veil works, I will tell you that I think it is very simply a process related to our development here. It is also how our brain works in consort with consciousness and the way that some parts of the brain actually “brake” other parts that have the ability to process information that doesn’t come from the five senses. I say this because I have had my own forays into this realm, perhaps just enough to get me into trouble.  But in truth, Ali is like that person who didn’t get programmed to be like everyone else and the barriers that most people have, she doesn’t.  I know for my friend, based on having known her over the years, living this way can be very hard because you feel EVERYTHING.  The other side is super crazy and over-the-top psi ability. My own sense is this is part personal interest that accrues over lifetimes, but can also be a feature of the awakened state.  Kundalini, after all, is said to bring many abilities, and Ali has had this since she can remember.

I think most people who have done the work like she has simply are at a place where they no longer need to reincarnate here, so perhaps this is why we don’t see a lot of these types of people. People like her are rare.  I know in my own experience that I am showing evidence of pulling back the curtain through a growing memory of past lives both here in this reality as well as others. Perhaps you have also been experiencing this very thing yourself, so you might know what I mean firsthand.  I know that along with awareness there seems to be a willingness or ability to begin using our minds in ways that are contrary to how most are taught here on Earth….all of which contributes to enough of a difference that we begin to see more and more open windows through consciousness.  At least, this has been my observation thus far. But the point is, my friend is so clear she can get to the crux of a problem so fast that you will be left wondering what just happened.

I am writing about my friend because I want you to know her.  I am telling you this because more people need to know about her because the gifts she has are remarkable.  While she is a healer, her healing work is so incredibly versatile that she can do her work over the phone and literally work a miracle for you inside of twenty minutes if you are ready.  These things happen so fast that I am left wondering what just happened sometimes.  It’s hard enough living in a world that wants to pooh-pooh these things as it is, but if you suspend disbelief and go into work with her with an open mind and a ready heart, there is nothing that you can’t do with her help.  I know I am waxing grandiose here…but let me explain…

A number of years ago my friend came to visit my home in Virginia.  While she was here I had been invited to a gathering by a family friend and I took my friend along.  A lot of the people there knew me and were curious about who she was and why she was there with me. My friend explained that she is a healer and an intuitive.  In minutes, she was in the next room conducting impromptu sessions with people whom I have known since I was a kid.  My friends looked at me before we left to go home, “Where did you find her?  Oh my goodness, she is the real deal!” I have watched my friend as she has held healing sessions with friends, and I have seen what she has been able to do for me over the years.  It has remained consistent in terms of her level of ability. Yes, she is the real deal.  My friend is remarkable, a real talent, and I feel fortunate to know her.  I feel fortunate because for so long I didn’t know anyone who liked to talk about the things I like to talk about in terms of our hidden potential as beings here, or how to tap into alternate layers of consciousness, or how events begin to change as consciousness is used differently.  When she does work with her clients things can change on a dime.  I don’t know why she shouldn’t be a household name.

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My friend is Alison Neville.  She lives in California and she has the gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and an ability to read and heal energy.  She has had these gifts her whole life.  She began to learn to use them in her twenties and has been doing so up to the present.  Her “toolkit” is so inclusive that there isn’t a situation that she can’t work through with aplomb.  As a result, Alison doesn’t employ methods or scripts, she just goes into a session and uses what needs to be used at the time.  Each session can be wildly different one from the other.  It is because of this that her work is so beneficial.  You aren’t getting a script, you are getting real boots on the ground work. It is why sometimes when I start a conversation with her I might wind up completely surprised with what comes up because of something that her inner guidance says that puts us on an unexpected trail.  More about this in a moment. I will say that if you find yourself wanting her help, all you need to do is to be clear about what you want to cover because she will do that so long as you are honestly seeking to get to a better place.

You don’t have to believe in this phenomenon in order to benefit from what Ali does.  But what Ali does is not some cute parlor trick.  I have spent sustained time with her over the years and there was no way that she was able to gather all the information beforehand just in order to make it seem as if she had a gift.  You know what I am talking about here; the cynical skeptic, who, no matter how much proof they are shown, refuses to concede that there might be something to what she does.  This is probably an occupational hazard for her, but either you want help or you don’t….and even for  cynical skeptics Ali delivers in spades.  It makes you wonder why someone would fake it if they were so incredibly good at bringing solutions to your life that work so well? I guess I don’t think about those things because I have been around Ali so much over the years and I know that it’s real.

In the beginning of our correspondence and discussions, Ali helped me to remove or heal a long-standing issue from my childhood as it related to my Mother.  It was a thorny problem that had eluded me for about forty years.  It had developed at a time that was so early in my life that I had lost all hope of being able to use memory as a doorway for getting to it and healing it.  Ali showed me that these kinds of things are always accessible and so we used feeling (instead of memory) as the doorway.  One moment I was talking to her on the phone in my car headed to the studio and the next moment I am settling down in a chair in the studio, the lights off, with her speaking and taking me into a guided meditation.

The effect of healing this issue was like correcting something that had been wrong for years inside of me that I had been projected outward as something that I believed was a problem with the world, or my Mother. Gently my perception was turned ’round so that I was able to see it in the right way.  Once seen in the right way, once truly heard and examined without the distorting lens of my beliefs about it, this healed very quickly and righted itself.  That was in 2008 when that happened.  It changed my relationship with my Mother from that day onward.  Having been in the mental health field as a counselor for years, my Mother wondered how on earth I was able to heal something from such an early place in my life.  I had help from Ali.

That experience is emblematic of the huge leaps forward I have been able to make.  The truth is that the vaulting would not have been possible without her help.  When I write in my blog about having had an energetic “reset” years ago that helped my energy field become many times more sensitive, it was Ali who helped with that.  Yes, it was hard to deal with, but just when I thought my sensitivity had gone through the roof in awakening, what she was able to do for me showed me that there was no ceiling on our roof at all as my energetic system was put into orbit.  I’m not exaggerating, here.  My being able to understand how grace is tied to creativity, that was Ali.  My being able to step into my authentic self in many important ways, it was in that time when she and I were conversing and she was sharing her insight with me. I had simply manifested the influence that my soul needed most for that time.  Now I sense that there are others who also need it.  They might not know it is so, but that is how these things happen.

Just last week I was visiting her helping her with some marketing work for her business (and going to visit a regression hypnotist/counselor) and while talking one morning before breakfast, we wound up in a healing session. This wasn’t something we had talked about, it just happened.  A block that had eluded me my entire awakening was resolved inside of forty minutes.  Just like that. I could feel into my own field in a way that I had not felt before….maybe ever.  This was so important for me because I knew that if I was ever going to do any healing work myself, I knew that I could not be working with people unless I myself was healed….that was my own bit of guidance.  So this outcome was really important for me on many levels.  How I feel and relate to my energy now is very different.  Wow.

When I went out to swim in the ocean later I began hearing a voice speaking clearly within me that I had not been able to hear before. The block in the root had kept me from being able to hear clearly something that has been a part of my life and my soul existence for a very very long time.  It was like the cherry on the top hearing and feeling this presence that I simply could not meet or feel or hear until I did this work. As we open and clear ourselves we are more able to use our innermost senses in a more dependable and less distorted way. At least, that is how it seems to me.  The clearer we are, the less invested we are in an agenda.  The source of all life is supportive and free from agenda beyond that of love.  I find that as I go through this process, this is what I am moving into each day. How do I learn from Source?  How do I learn from Ali?

Some of what Ali does is energy healing.   How she does this from a distance over the phone is the remarkable part.  While much of what she does can be understood through the lens of known healing modalities, Ali has explained that much of what she does is the result of her own inner connection to what she calls her “guidance” which always seems to know exactly what needs to be done at just the right moment.  So it might be energy healing on the one hand,  the next minute it might be reading an ancient time line, a past life, or speaking with a relative that has passed.  She might do something completely unexpected, even for her, within the span of a session.  In short, there IS no pattern, every single session is unique.  If you watch true pros you will find that they don’t have scripts that they speak from.  They embody what they do. Ali is one of these pro’s.  It’s what made our talks so interesting.  Maybe someday she and I will put our heads together and do a book about these talks. It would be so interesting I think for the very reason that none of it would be scripted, not even once.  You just have no idea.

There is sometimes this freewheeling feeling in a session with her where you are asked to consider what life might look like outside of your own perceptual box.  Now she has you beginning to set up the very conditions for transforming your life, maybe without even realizing it.  By helping to surrogate the energy necessary for rebuilding the conception of what you think your life could be, she serves as this bridge to what your life will be once you decide to take that one little step into what seems like a vast cosmos. It can happen so fast you don’t even see it coming.  You might not even realize that she is holding you in that place, holding the seed of it and waiting it for it to germinate and to find it’s root in a new level of your life. You can actually root yourself in what seems to be a new cosmic place…..maybe it was just a place you never thought was even possible for you. We have chosen all of this, our choices are just that; choices.  Those choices may have represented the very best thing you could imagine.  There was a time when we built rockets that went up only thousands of feet and thought that was an amazing feat, but within a decade we were sending rockets into orbit around the earth.  Then we went to other planets.  You see what I mean?  Working with Ali can be like this.  The limitation is that you think you are limited.

And that is just it.  We each stand at the edge of a limitless cosmos and all along it is we who are limiting and choosing what we will experience.  Yes, you are in a body.  Yes, you are focused in this reality with a set of senses physically.  You are also more than just this one body.  So I ask, what on earth are you waiting for? 

As a result, Ali is one of the most innovative healers ever.  Missing a loved one who passed?  She can tap into that person right now and help fill in any gaps that you might have.  Have difficulty with your supervisor and don’t know why? Ali can dig into that and help to explain what is at work.  Not only that, but she will take your hand and show you how to heal it.  Poof!  Now everything has changed for you with your supervisor and anyone else after that who is like that supervisor.

Maybe it is a challenge with a relationship.  Maybe it is with a parent (like me) or with a spouse, a child, or a friend, it really doesn’t matter, that is how flexible her gifts are.  Maybe you can’t quite understand why the relationship dynamic is the way it is.  Not only can Ali help shed light on it, she can also help you to change everything about it on a dime if you are ready.  Maybe you are starting a business or you want to take your business to another level–Ali can tell you exactly the things you will need to work on in order to manifest that type of abundance in your life and to make it work with the fewest hangups as possible.  You of course need to be ready and you need to make yourself available. But if you can be as innocent as a child, you will not only change things for good, you will have great fun doing it because that is just how Ali is.  Ali is remarkable.  I want you to know about her gifts because I have been helped so much, my friends have been helped, and people that she knows have also been helped. I was able to do in half an hour what might take people years using traditional talk therapy.  I actually think therapy has its place, but what Ali does is she cuts out all of the preamble and gets right to the issue at hand.  The only problem with this might be that you might think that there is no way that she can cut to the chase so fast.  Way.

There are no accidents.  You are the one who needs to hear this right now.  Her gifts are amazing and more people need to know, and now I am telling you.  I have nothing to sell and nothing to gain. If there was a time when her skills were needed, that time is now. If you do get in touch with her and work with her, come back here and leave a comment  about your experience. I want the world to know. I want you to know.

To get in touch with Ali start here:

https://www.alisonneville.com/

 

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I am facing an odd conundrum which has me seeking the services of an experienced regression hypnotist who specializes in cases related to ET abductions. While I have done work in this vein with past life experiences, I am saying this because for years I always thought that my experiences with regards to the ET question all happened within dream. After all, I was pretty expert at grabbing information through the dream state that often wound up being true (instead of dream-state gobbeldy gook) so this seemed like a plausible thing for me to do.

My thought-set for years has been, “I wasn’t an abductee, I was using consciousness in dream to experience these beings.” My response more recently, though, has been, “What if this wasn’t just a dream, wouldn’t you want to know more about it?” Well the truth is, I have been kind of whistling past the graveyard in a sense for decades. Yes, there are actual reasons for suspecting that what happened to me was more than just dreams.

I say this because many abductees, some who are now my friends have said to me, “I had dreams about being abducted and then under hypnosis found that those weren’t just dreams but were part of my real life.” They then cite countless cases where events that were real and very physical got stuffed deep into their subconscious…sometime for years only to begin emerging in much the same way that victims of MK-Ultra style mindcontrol have experienced an unraveling of their therapist-induced amnesia, bring up memories from a life completely blocked or forgotten. I have resisted the possibility of ET abduction because it just didn’t seem like that was what was happening to me.

I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling of knowing something was happening and that it was happening a lot. I didn’t seem to have missing time, which is one feature. I may have had a scoop mark, another feature. There were other things, too, that I will cover here, but a lot of time has passed and I wonder whether that stuff is retrievable. As I say this, I am reminded of how far out in terms of time I have been able to retrieve past material (releasing blocks often brings up past life memories, some that are thousands, even millions of years old). I am not going to pretend to be consistent with anything here because I feel like I just don’t know.

I can’t say that it happened a lot. I can’t say that most of what is described in the abduction literature may even apply to me. But maybe it did and it has been hidden in memory. Maybe there are multiple ET agendas, each different substantively from each other. Yet, some of it does apply to me and most of the things that apply were things that took place before I ever cracked a book on the abduction phenomenon. It would have been hard for me to have made up the things that I did, things that are now features of the ET abduction experience.

As for the elements that are part of the abduction scenario, these are things that are always part of the abduction, but not every person who has them as their experience are necessarily abductees (as best as we know). Every person, though, who is an abductee has seen a craft. There was the fact that we had seen craft near our home (me on multiple occasions). Of course this does not make me an abductee, so I have to look more closely. Well, there is more than just a sighting. My sister had this bizarre burn on her abdomen that we could not explain after our first sighting. It was a series of circles and looked for the life of us like a shower drain pattern. Only problem was there was no way to physically get your stomach over the drain. Nothing fit. Her burn pattern went away without incident. We forgot about it. I did, until I did look into the ET issue in books that were just beginning to come out in the mid-seventies. What happened to me was was before I had read anything about ET encounters. All I knew was what I had seen and that UFO’s were the kind of thing that should be dismissed (courtesy of some very careful propaganda run by our own government for decades in order to hide the ET issue altogether). Besides, it was a dream, right?

Later, I would read in the ET abduction literature about identical burn marks my sister had that would fade in time leaving no marks. Reading the abduction literature quite frankly freaked me out. I had dreams of being trained to….wait for it….to fly a ship. These dreams were repeated over and over during a certain period of my life. I knew in the dream that I was being trained to fly an ET craft. How bizarre is that? Hang on, there are people who have described the same thing, flying craft using thought as the navigation method. I didn’t read about this in a book somewhere….it simply didn’t exist. I read about it years after it happened on a forum on Unknown Country, the web site that Whitley Strieber has hosted for decades.

I had a dream in the early 1990’s where I sat in my living room next to a female ET whose skin looked like….burnt marshmallow who was conversing silently with me, telepathically, and she ended the conversation by pointing up to the ceiling, indicating that she was going back to her home planet. Now try to find a case of a being with skin like that. Well, it turns out that there are a few cases of a being just like this. I found one encounter where my being was described perfectly, down to the unusual way (unlike any other alien this far described) that it’s head was shaped. It wasn’t like we had compared notes with each other.

But perhaps the only really disturbing thing that happened was the morning that same year as the dream of the dark-skinned being. I awoke to find that my feet showed every sign of having been dragged through a gravel parking lot and through grass. My feet were abraded, scratched, dirty, real dirty actually, and I had fresh grass stains on my feet.

I hadn’t been outside barefoot.

I had not been outside the evening before nor in weeks prior to this observation.

I just hadn’t gone outside barefoot pure and simple (and this was what made looking at my feet so strange, so alarming—who the hell was taking me out in the middle of the night for crying out loud??). I had taken a shower the night before. I went to bed clean. How in the world did this happen? Following logic, I must have been taken out of my bed at night. More, the way my feet were scratched up, I must have been unconscious. Let me be clear; the scratches on my feet weren’t from fingernails. I could see how the nails on my toes had been scratched up, abraded considerably as though my feet had dragged in a gravel parking lot. Have you ever had scratches like that before? Do you know the kind of force required to create those kinds of scratches? Yes, the driveway where I lived was all gravel. Did some govt agents come and steal me out of my bed? No matter what subject you used, it all sounded impossible, crazy. Was I sleep walking, falling down enough to cause the grass stains to be on my feet, along with enough dust to settle into the corners of my toes and to abrade the nails enough so you could clearly see them the following morning? This, the most seemingly likely scenario, sleepwalking, itself made so little sense. No, I had never been caught sleepwalking. The more I tried to find alternate reasons, the more silly it all seemed. It just sat there, this big red flag that would not go away. The most disturbing part was how, in my case, I wasn’t getting flashes of memory about it. It was one big fat silent blank spot.

This event, whatever it was, appears to have been stuffed deep down some rabbit hole in my head, because while I had had dreams about all sorts of unusual things, including ET’s, there was nothing that pointed to the kind of experiences most abductee’s have mentioned. Why couldn’t I remember the clinics aboard the ships, the growing tubes, or all the other things that have come up in the ET abduction literature? Maybe I just had those memories stuffed too deeply. It is one chief reason why I thought it was just a dream. There were parts of the phenomenon that didn’t appear to apply to me. Did I have a one-off? Was I taken aboard? But what about learning how to fly the ships? Maybe chalk that up to being obsessed with life from other planets. And yet, there are others who describe the same thing.

I could not remember any more deeply than this. I told myself, “Maybe it is best that you don’t remember. Maybe it’s good that you can’t dredge any of it up. You might be wigging out if you knew what had actually happened!” And then there was that part of me that would say, “I have no idea what took place. I could have been abducted by monkeys for all I know. Or a weird sleep cult.” I was unable to explain away what I had seen that early morning when I gazed at my feet when they hit the floor in the morning light. It stood out the way that it did because I had such a clear memory of what had happened the evening before. I hadn’t even been outside barefoot for months. The scratches could not be explained by fingernails. Pretty deep abrasions. No blood, but if I had been dragged further, then maybe. I felt the way a bear might feel when it is shot by a tranquilizer dart but has no memory of what took place. If it weren’t for this one experience, I probably could have pushed all of this off into the woo-woo box and left it there never to be inquired into again.

The problem for me is that I have done so much with repressed emotion and memory during my awakening that I have a hard time with the idea that there is something that kundalini is not dredging up. While I am beginning to consider that the way it is being dredged might be through a very different route, and that instead of being just an abductee (which may have happened), I have this strange sense that feels really out there that whatever my experience, it was part of a different section of the usual ET phenomenon (but even so—I am not even sure if this is even remotely correct at all). It’s unnerving to consider that there might be a still deeper bit of work that has completely eluded me all this while as my awakening has progressed over the past thirteen to fourteen years.

I have been aboard a ship and saw how its anti-gravity drive worked. I had a short conversation with an ET about what was behind the operation of that device. Based on the principles clearly present, this turns out to be the same set of principles that countless others who have abductee histories have sometimes described. Author Whitley Strieber tried to build one of these devices as a kid in his room as a result of his abduction experiences. When the device ran, it started a fire connected with the wires in the house, but not before knocking power out in his local area. Another man, whom Strieber wrote about in his book Communion, built a device in his barn based on the principle of counter rotating magnets. The device nearly tore the barn apart—as the story goes, the device caused objects to begin flying through the building until it was shut off. When I approached a group wanting to crack the embargo on off-world technology that the military is hiding in black budget projects by knowing how this class of device worked, they explained that what I had told them from my “dream” was indeed precisely what they were doing work on. My device was based on counter rotating magnets. I was event told by the ET standing beside me that the device was based on electromagnetics.

It is a strange feeling when dreams begin to step into our waking world. If all of this is simply a product of imagination, how is it that we are imagining the same things and having some consistent results with the imaginary devices we saw in that dream or in that abduction scenario? I mean, isn’t it curious that we see an anti-gravity machine in an abduction scenario and then when we try to build it, it actually begins to do what it was supposed to do? It strains credulity to then say that abductions are just the domain of the imagination. That, or we simply have undercut imagination far too much as a species and we have powers far greater than we could ever imagine. I would actually agree with this, but it is beside the point.

Taken together, though, and that one glaring physical artifact of my feet that morning, I am left with the realization that even though I have done considerable work doing what I call “Spiritual Archeology,” I might have blank spots in my life that I would like the option of being able to deal with in the interest of releasing stored emotion/trauma. This is what kundalini naturally does, and my awakening was with kundalini as its major feature. While I have had some ET experiences post awakening, the bulk of my history exists during my adolescence and young adulthood, long before awakening took place. What is also interesting is how my silent periods correspond so well with the silent periods of other abductees. It is one of those things that you might not read about until a decade after the fact, so the information isn’t always out there for you to read before and then incorporated into a false-memory type of narrative, which is often what skeptics try to suggest is at work for abductees. Me, I think it is just as simple an explanation that beings travel and take biological samples and do their best to hide their footprints in the memory of those abducted. Nothing complicated, nothing really cloak and dagger necessarily. Just what it is. A being from another planet can look scary to a race unaccustomed to seeing them. We might do the same. We do the same when we trap bears or other animals for study. We will hit them with a tranquilizing dart and then the animal has no memory at all. A more sophisticated system might be that you use another generation of technology to move a person through objects right up into a craft (which by the way happens in most abduction scenarios).

Swimming around inside of me is another issue which I feel compelled to tell you in the interest of full disclosure. I see the subject of extraterrestrials as one of the biggest most important discoveries that we as humans could make here on on earth. I say this because the implications would be huge for us here in our understanding of how life can emerge on other planets, an idea that until about thirty years ago was thought an impossibility. I am not a skeptic. I am not a skeptic for the very reason that the universe is an awfully large place and instead of thinking that life is a rarity, it may be more likely that the universe may favor life emerging in a myriad of ways.

There are studies that have shown that life can survive in the vacuum of space for certain periods. There are those who suggest that we may have come here from elsewhere, that we ourselves may be a kind of hybrid (stories from our ancient past point to this possibility). I am interested, and I am engaged. I have had a range of experiences that I cannot explain and I am now interested in seeing if I can figure out what the larger story (my experience) may be about.

I have remained silent on this subject, the issue of my ET involvement for many years (and about its nature: was it all dreams or did it have a physical component?). I realize I have remained quiet about it because of how the subject is treated in our culture. I’ll tell you that for myself, it is a desire to know the truth, whatever it might entail, that drives me. If I dreamed all of it, fine, that would be really good to know. If it was something physical, that would be good to know also. I’d like to know what took place. I’d like to know why it took place (even if it is a small reason, a simple reason, “We were taking the semen of all males in your area along with the ova of women”). If they were taking tissue samples, what was the reason for it? An effort at creating a new species, genetic or disease study?

It may be that as humans we are more interested in the why of it than any ET conducting scientific experiments. For ET’s it might seem a non-issue. They might not understand why we would want to know so much about it. When the bear we took for study asks us why we shot them with the tranquilizer dart, we might well shrug and say, “We wanted to study you and find ways to help preserve your habitat so more of you could live.” Or we might say something even more incomprehensible which might lead us to say, “You have something in your genetic material that we wanted to use for study.” The bear, not knowing what genetic material even is would wonder and wonder what any of this even meant. We might realize this and just say, “There is something special in you that we want to study….it is very important to us to do that.” This, in fact, are very similar to conversations some abductees have had with their ET abductors.

I don’t know exactly where I stand with this. It may be that this effort will only reveal that yes, there was some missing time and I was taken a number of times. Maybe it will all just be stubbornly attached to the dream self and that is that. Who knows, really. The thing is, I am going to find out. I have a nagging sense that it may in fact be something much larger than just about having been taken or having had dreams about the ET presence.

I say this because of what took place after a recent healing session with a gifted healer who lives in California named Alison Neville. It left me feeling clearer than I had been before and what happened after the healing made me wonder what on earth was happening to me.What happened in its wake is not something I am prepared to discuss in this post, but I will be covering it in another post (a lot has happened in the last week).

There might be a third possibility that has been lurking in the background which has to do with our spiritual lineage and how we may be connected to a self or consciousness that very much is aware that there are ET’s and that there is a much bigger and vibrant world out beyond our own planet. That, though, is jumping the gun. Wasn’t this supposed to be about a possible way to dig into these dreams to find out what lies in their marrow, their substance?

I haven’t known where to start if I was going to have regression hypnosis to tap into old memories to see what they might contain. I had to ask Whitley Strieber the author of Communion and a number of other books on the subject how best to go about it. He suggested a couple of professional regression hypnotists in California. In a surprise turn of events I will be doing some business there and will have an opportunity to sit down for a session to see if I can begin the process of beginning to understand what has been going on. I think that I need to finally put this question to bed.

If you would like to know more about the book that Strieber has written entitled Communion, there is a review at Goodreads along with links to buy the book if you want to find out more. Communion is a memoir written by the person who had abduction experiences. It is fortunate that a writer with Whitley’s skill set has written in the way he has about the subject. Whitley has followed up that book with several other books on the topic of his abduction experiences as well as those of others similarly affected as well. He speaks with his own voice with his own set of questions and is willing, it seems to consider all kinds of theories in order to probe the phenomenon.

His is one voice, not to take anything away from his courageous work, but to say also that there is one reaction that we as humans will almost always have when faced with an unknown which is that we will most often fear it. Absent any straightforward information, we as humans will invariably spin fear into a narrative in order to fill in the dead or missing spots. “Aliens abducting us for sperm and ova? That is creepy!” And yet, what about how we take sperm and ova from animals all over the world? Do you see what I mean? How creepy is what we are doing, people? No, it isn’t creepy. Instead, it is filled with purpose, our purpose, which may be completely unknown to the animals being taken. In this case, you can perhaps see how easily the humans become the animals and the people taking the animals are the ET’s. In our case as abduction subjects, we don’t know why they took us. They would probably prefer us not to know because there is invariably a certain quality of callousness present in the act of taking someone for their reproductive material, especially when you have never asked that person for it. The truth is, there is a callousness when we do it and there is a callousness when they do it. They might see us like we see bears. We are warlike and we would fight them if they tried to do such a thing as that.

When you leave anyone out of the loop in a situation like this, you naturally create a mystery, a void, and that void often gets filled with nightmares because that tends to be the high water mark for humans. A car passes you super fast: “Oh my goodness they must be fleeing from the law!” In truth, they were rushing to the hospital. A person cuts you off in traffic and you get incensed. The truth was, it was never intentional, they just never saw you….as hard as that is for you to believe. Whenever there is a gap, we will sure as shooting fill that void with…..our weird stuff. It will be our stuff, and it will say more about us than it ever will say about the other, whoever that winds up being. But I also have to say that the stuff is our reaction. It in no way voids the memory that we have about the experience. Yes, we can forget parts, or emphasize other parts, this type of process happens all the time.

Hypnosis does a very good job often to dig into memory in order to find the parts that are missing. This is why it has been possible for people who saw a fleeing car from an accident to see clearly the license plate under hypnosis when they have no conscious memory of it while awake. I am not saying that the experience of the ET’s is somehow made up, I am saying our reactions to the phenomenon may in fact be creating a form of alternative narrative because we simply lack full disclosure from these beings. I don’t think we will get it, not in the way that we would like. I suspect that we wont get it in the way we would like because our purposes and the purposes of the ET’s who are doing this are not the same. I will also readily admit that it is just as likely that the ET’s are like bandits who don’t give a fig about us and see us as stupid vessels to play with as they would like. But I say this in order to show you that I am ready for any outcome (I think!).

I am not being an apologist for ET’s, I just think that there are many ways we can see and react or respond to this same phenomenon. Of course, if it turns out they have me strapped down, I might feel differently, so let’s wait and see what comes up.

And yet, I will say I don’t know. I only know what I think I know and what I think I know has led me to wondering if everything that I have in my memory is the whole story or not. I will admit that sometimes this gets a little crazy feeling, but I will also admit that it does not keep me up at night anymore. After I had the experience in the 90’s with my feet being dirty, scratched, and marked with grass stains, I certainly had a sinking feeling in my heart and in my gut. That was one of those things, like a vector, a line, pointing outward into space without any explanation or seeming purpose. I have resisted filling the void with stories. I have, though, considered that it could be one physical manifestation of an ET presence in my life despite their desire to keep it hidden from me.

Since I began this post a month ago, a lot has taken place between now and then. Much of it I am not ready to put down in word both for brevity’s sake but also because what I have thus far uncovered leads me to thinking I just don’t know what to think. So much is so new and different that I feel like I need to live with it more in order to understand its texture, feel, and its outcomes. What is clear is that when it comes to the ET question, it has woven into itself issues related to our own evolution in consciousness. For me, the ET question has continued to be entangled with issues related to our consciousness. I will also reserve the right to amend this sense later if I turn out to be woefully incorrect.

Right now I have had one regression session and will be having more. Once I am closer to being done I will disclose who I have been using but for now I prefer to keep this under wraps.

I want to point out that I am not writing a book on the subject, I have nothing to sell, I have no agenda beyond my own experience about seeing where I get with this. My only hope in writing about this subject is that the truth might be known and that in so doing it might help others. That is all. I can find better ways to get attention that would be a whole lot more positive than the one that I am writing about. I feel that this might still need to be said for those still captured by the quality of brainwashing that has captured so many of us in the past about the subject of ET’s. I suspect that this post will be the first in a series of exploratory efforts at trying to understand this phenomenon insofar as I am concerned. Stay tuned…And yes, I know that was quite the ramble…

UPDATE 1/2021: I experimented with seeing what would happen if I tried to telepathically communicate with the dark-skinned being. I was able to do so. The conversations were filled with very specific material and I was able to see where it lived. Most surprising was how this being explained that it had a human “counterpart” on earth and explained who that was. I know this person through email correspondence as a result of a dream I had of her. When I told her about something the ET had told me, she said she had memory of the things I had been told by the ET. Curiouser and curiouser…

 

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In this next interview I have a sit-down with local artist, healer, and family friend Diane to talk about her experience with her kundalini awakening.  Recorded several years ago, this interview was transcribed but had gotten swept up in a computer crash that only recently was recovered.  Her interview can also be found in the section at the top of the blog.  I am including the events surrounding her awakening first and I will have a second part of the interview, which was the earlier portion, in a second post a little later.  The format for the interview is different from the other interviews as it was a more open conversational style.  My questions and comments are all italicized and her responses are in normal type.

Today I talk with Diane who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and who, coincidentally, is a close family friend. She is a wife, mother, artist, and mystic of some note. Diane’s artistic talents including writing, photography, sculpture, and performance art. She is part of the artist group Web Six who have, over many decades, produced multimedia performances that are part visual art, poetry reading, and performance centered around their experiences as women. Their performances have covered the trials and triumphs that they face in their day to day lives. Made up of musicians, writers, poets, photographers, and painters, the troupe has performed throughout our region over a thirty year period.

Diane is a gifted healer who has, over the years, brought her insight into her work through workshops and retreats on issues related to the shamanic journey and spirituality, to name a few. She also owns a business as a masseuse and has directed Yoga Nidra classes. I sit down with Diane to discuss her experience with her awakening.


 

Can you identify anything that triggered your awakening?

I had been to the first workshop for the Institute for Shamanic Studies with Mary North. It was always a vivid experience for me, and I had power animals…

Was this based on Harner’s work?

Yes. I went to this workshop and just jumped into it. I think I need to work on that. I did these workshops, I just jumped into them. Well anyway, that’s maybe beside the point.

Well did you feel like a tension had built up over the slow loss of your mother might have triggered anything?

Well, she was my friend, we said we were soul mates. But she would be sitting across from me having coffee and she’d ask, “Do I know you?”

Did this make you feel lost?

Well my father had already died, and I felt like I was losing my rock, yes. The daily grind of care was hard because she did not sleep like she used to. My sister and I would trade her off so we had some time off, which was a blessing. So it was during this free time that I decided that I would take a workshop on developing your psychic ability. Mom and I had actually had psychic things together. And she was psychic, but she never developed it. She introduced me to Wayne Dwyer. So she introduced me to that world. She would say that someone was coming, and we would need to clean house to get ready, and sure enough, later, a cousin would show up knocking at the door.

One night as I was lying in bed, after she had died, I had a dream where I saw this sphere in the room, it was this pulsing sphere that looked like water. Then I heard a voice that said to me….and now I am going to cry….it said, “This is her last gift to you, and someday you will understand…” Then I woke up and the ball was still there, and I was awake. I even pinched myself, and I could still feel it coming into me. I think it gradually dissipated. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to take this workshop to develop my psychic abilities. But then this whole thing happened with this person named Tom. So….

So was your awakening a clearly defined….was there a galvanizing moment..

Oh yeah. [laughter]

Yes. [laughter] So what was that?

I went to the workshop. I was so relieved to be there, I walked on the beach. I didn’t need to take care of anybody. I went to the center and was sitting down, and we were having this introductory meeting that gave us the bones of the thing. I heard someone laugh, this was like some enchanted evening, except it wasn’t. I heard someone laugh, and I turn around, and there is this huge guy, big big neck, the kind of guy I am like “Eeew! Get away from me!” Had a pony tail pulled back. He was squatting down and he was talking to people, and he turned around and looked at me and it was like….it was like on point…like a bird dog. He was looking at me like, “Oh my God, there she is!” which was what he was thinking when he talked about it later when I found out that I was in a dream of his.   I was looking behind me, thinking “What the hell?” So I was pissed. I was having this great time and there was this guy looking at me.

Later I decided to join a sharing group, people you would eat breakfast and lunch with and you could share your experiences. So when I went in the room where the list of the sharing was, I didn’t want the guys name on it, and I was relieved to find his name wasn’t on it. But as I was there a woman erased a name and put his name, Tom, on the list. There was this feeling of inevitability to it. So I found that he was actually quite funny. He had this self-depricating humor, and it was mostly about himself. He worked in sanitation for the city of Philadelphia. And one day after our meal he asked me if I wanted a ride up to the conference center, and I said no, and then thought, “Well that was kind of mean…” so I said that I would take a ride with him and we rode up to the conference center together. And I thought I was getting a lesson on not judging a book by its cover, because he was quite nice and funny. And it was while people were talking there that all of a sudden there came this feeling that came up from my spine to the top of my head. And it was like a wave of emotion. It was very emotional. Tears came to my eyes. It was like someone divulged some secret of the universe to me. It was like awe. And I began to shake. I even looked under my seat. I thought there was electricity under it. I started sweating. I had to hold onto my seat; I was rocking. I looked over at Tom and he was shaking. He was rocking. He was holding on to his seat. I thought, “Holy shit!” I wondered did we eat something? Did we have food poisoning? We both wound up leaving when the break came. We fled. I asked if he was okay. I asked “Is this you, are you doing something?” I walked around thinking, “what the hell is this?” I thought maybe it was a blast from the past, was this an issue raising up? Maybe it was something we ate. I decided “I am not doing this, I came here for R&R…whatever it is, it is going to have to come get me because I am not doing this…” Later, I came out of the meeting and I was going to walk on the beach. The parking lot was empty. But Tom was sitting there on the hood of his car. He looked horrible. He looked sweaty, he looked pale. So I thought, okay, I am going to talk to him. I asked him how he was doing. He said “I feel like there is a pillar running up from my bottom to the top of my head and it’s going to explode.” I remember reading something about that pillar, I had read about it and I thought, hmmm….okay. I felt like I was on automatic, ”do you want me to take you to the hospital? Do you need me to drive you?” He said he didn’t think he could be around people. He was kind of staggering around. So I said, without even knowing I was going to say it, “Give me the car keys. I will drive you. I will get you some Advil.” When I got him to my room and I gave him the Advil, I felt like I was seeing this almost outside of my body, like this was something we had agreed to do this before.

He sat down on the chair and then he went berserk. He starting yelling and screaming. He tore up the bed! I had been to enough workshops, so I knew that this was something you were supposed to do, just let it happen, so I said, just let it out. When he calmed down I asked him if that was a seizure. He said that it wasn’t a seizure. He was walking down the hall and I thought, okay, something weird is happening.

The next night, I hadn’t seen him, I had been doing some yoga, and there was a knock on the door. I knew it was Tom. I answered the door and it was him. He was carrying some flowers. He said, “Whatever you did last night, it really helped me, and I wanted to thank you.” I said well I wonder how my husband would feel about this, and he said, “ That isn’t what this is, and you know it”…and I thought, shit, he was right, it wasn’t.

He asked me what I knew about my work. He wanted to pick my brain, he wanted to do work with me. So we sat across from each other and looked at each others face. As we did this, I saw this young man in his face with the turned up bangs, and I drew the picture in my notebook. Very innocent and young looking. He saw my fear of growing old, which I do, because of my mother. That night, I woke up and I thought that there was an earthquake! I had the same thing he did. I had to get up and go out on the beach. And I ran.

So did you feel like you had this build up of tension and movement helped?

Oh yes. I wanted to move. I wanted to feel my pain, I wanted to feel my breath , I was on the edge of the surf. I wanted to feel it all because I couldn’t stand it. Later when I was in my room, there was this flickering inside, like something was crawling that went up and down from my solar plexus and my head, up and down, up and down. I took a shower and held my pillow and fell asleep. Later, we would do work together.

I did this shamanic journey and I saw the image of this armadillo and I saw all these cracks on its back and I could see this image like it was written on the sky that said, “Pain” and when I saw that and told him this, he said I have to show you something, and he showed me his back. There were all of these scars that were like these hands that were reaching for his spine. He would have been like Quasimodo if he hadn’t had his spine broken, so he had been in a body cast, it had been in a Catholic hospital where they didn’t let his parents visit. He had just had a horrible time. So somehow, we had come together to work on this.

Okay, so I am going to ask you something that I know about personally about nearly all of the people….no….all of the people I know who have awakened together. They might be sitting across from one another or across the miles. They all have this unsettled karma together. And a lot of time there is this experience of revelation, or apocalypse where there is this sudden revealing where all this stuff comes up, all this stuff….you don’t even know what the name is for this experience, but its this energy that needs to get out. And then in the midst of this you sometimes can have this little “Aha” moment. Did you ever have that?

I did.

Did you have that moment where you understood what it was that was not finished?

Somewhat. I think it was somewhat.

When I went to do the whole holotropic breath work, which I wanted him to do, but he didn’t want to do it. That was when I felt a goddess moving up through my body. At the time I didn’t know it was Shakti, you know, the goddess they speak about. It was definitely female. Then I saw myself. I was both outside myself and in my body. I saw myself sitting in a circle of stones. I knew that I was a willing sacrificial woman. I had red hair and was wearing a white dress. I was coming down into the scene. The stones had runes scratched into them. I had always thought they were Celtic, but they were Viking. And he [Tom] looks like a Viking. I saw my throat being cut. And I saw the blood coming out of me and I became very white. He was standing at the end of the circle. Then I turned and asked who he was. He was standing there, like a shaman with a metal helmet, with fur. Then his face changed and he turned into an old man with a wolf head on his own head, it was this headdress. Then he turned into a woman in a long white dress in sandals standing on a dais with white columns with a really blue blue sky behind. I asked, “Well, who is he?” And the voice said, “He is a gatekeeper.” I have learned that this sometimes refers to the person who helps you with your psychic life, who is the gatekeeper for entering your psychic life.

I had this incredible dream the night I felt the…thing…I dreamed….I am going to cry. I was sitting on the porch of this ancient building with columns were crumbling and the steps went down into the ocean. And in the ocean, walking out of the ocean, was this wolf girl. She was part wolf and part human. And I knew she was me. She pointed behind me, and there was this ancient door with these rusty hasps and she pointed that I needed to open the door. And I couldn’t open the door. I woke up and thought, I have got to open this door! So I went back to sleep and had a dream about a crowbar, but I could never open the door.

I have had shamanic journeys about the door, and I have had experiences where I have been led to what is behind the door. Some people have said that it is love, but I am not sure. So anyway. [laughter]

How has your awakening progressed?

I had different….I have written about the whole thing what happened to me with Tom about that. I had it for about three years, before I could not feel it in my body. I was terrified a lot of the time, and even though I went to the holotropic breath work, but I would have movements of extreme ecstasy and then extreme fear. I had all kinds of things happen to me, like a snake coming out of my throat chakra. But I also had amazing synchronistic experiences. I had an amazing experience with reclaiming my relationship with Jesus. I would go to workshops and would feel drawn to them and would start talking to them and would find out they had had an opening. I went down to Greensboro to study hypnosis. I met this women who was doing this work and she wanted to do this work with Mary Magdeline and she laid me down on the table and began touching me where Jesus’s wounds were and I found I just opened like a flower. I found that I was meeting others who had this same opening, like you, who also had this same thing. One day while I was meditating, I felt like I was going to give birth, so I moved into the birth position and felt as though I was giving birth, and afterwards, I just rolled around on the floor lauging and feeling great.

You know, it’s interesting, but this is an experience I have read about many women who have had. Men don’t seem to have it. Maybe its an archetypal Jungian kind of experience where we are dealing with higher order energy within our psyche about creativity, and birth. So its interesting.

Did you have any physiological effects related to dealing with the fear in this? This whole shadow and the light…

Sometimes I would have the shaking. Oh my god there is an earthquake. Oh, and I also had a spontaneous orgasm, which I hear is normal, which was great! I thought that was pretty cool! I am standing there at the edge of the bed, and there is no one near me.

I am not trying to pigeon-hole you, but I am interested in how people are dealing with their shadow stuff. How did you deal with releasing this energy?

Well I would have this shaking, and at night I would have this feeling like I was just full of fear and that there is this darkness. Darkness was upon me and darkness would be upon me. I would lie in bed with Richard [Diane’s husband] and would just shake. But he does not go there. I would sometimes say, “I am running some energy today” and he would say, “Okay, don’t want to get into it, but it’s okay.”

I often had this anxiety about myself, why I was feeling this way. I would often sit and pull some runes and would think about it. I began to see that a lot of what had to do with Tom was about the male dominant energy. I saw that he represented my own male energy that I had been dealing with for lifetimes. But it was a real issue dealing with this male energy which when it comes into my life has always wanted to be dominant…..but the fear of it was overwhelming sometimes.

How did you get through this?

Well let me think about this. I would read and do a lot of shamanic work. I always felt like it was a place I could go and feel solace. I don’t know….it gradually died away. And as I did that, Tom fell away, too. He was my….he awoke….he was my gatekeeper, I guess.

You know, this gatekeeper….this is not a monodimensional…

Yes…

But its this thing, I mean, who knows, but it might be more than just here and now, it could be many places and times. Sometimes when we step back and let our intuition flow sometimes we get this “Oh….why didn’t I understand that before?” I also see how so many relationships point to the nature of this, and it leaves me seeing patterns that exist in them. Do you feel the same way about this man and the experience?

No. I feel like I reached a different level of consciousness. It also had to do with my having cancer recently. That was in 2010, so this has been going on for a while. I think I didn’t know what I did, but I just kind of held on and it happened in a different kind of way.

I always felt calm when I was tapping into some kind of energy. When I do massage I know I always felt calm. I just felt like I could tap into something that makes me feel more at peace. But sometimes when I think about the shaking I feel like I can bring it back.

So with all of the “violence” of the stirring of kundalini do you feel like you are more at peace?

Yes. I don’t feel the fear like I did before. But sometimes I will wake up in the morning and will sometimes have this thing where I have this reaction…and there is this moment of bliss as I wake up but then feel like there is something yet to do and I will feel that sense that causes you to react, [quick draw in of breath] you know.

Occasionally, I will have this experience, recently I looked at a tree and I just saw it shimmering and I was….wow! Sometimes I find that when I go into the Witness, I feel this amazing sense of peace. I was ironing recently and as I did this, I could feel how I was a physical being having a spiritual experience. It was so perfect.

Once while I was with Tom, we were sitting by the water and as I sat there I could hear this voice behind me and it was a woman’s voice. It was Sheila’s voice! And she said, “You are done! You are done!” And I knew that it was time for this to end. I turned to see who it was, and there was no one there. And who knows, it could have been my own psyche doing that.

And maybe it doesn’t matter, whether it is you or her, I think the soul doesn’t care what face that is put on it. So yeah.

I think about how we got over the fear. Sometimes we would sit and pull the runes. Tom was able to work with this and sometimes he would just fall to the ground sometimes and go into convulsions. So during this time, having him in my life, helped a lot. We would share our experiences throughout it. I think that helped me move through it into something calmer. And I went to workshops and did readings. I had you, and Vicky.

Do you employ any practices like meditation or yoga?

[laughs] I am pretty bad at employing a practice. I find that I don’t like to do anything regularly. I am very spontaneous. I go here and there, where I feel drawn. Sometimes I call on my spirit guides, spirit animals, and they help me.

Do you find that you reach a state of deepened meditation anywhere, anyway….like at a grocery store or wherever you are?

Yes. I can often feel this pulsing of energy and I will see this blue light.

How has this impacted the work that you do, your creative work? Have these changed?

Well I wrote that book about my mother. I think that I am able to focus on that kind of thing better. But there was a time when I wanted to be well known, but now I am more interested in just making the work and finding the right world. My relationship to all of this is changing and I am going more inward. That’s what’s more important is my inner life. What I love is talking one on one with people. That is my true love in my life now.

I recently read the book Goddesses in Every Woman, and that is Aphrodite, and I never thought of myself as an Aphrodite. I always think of her as the young beauty on the shell. Actually Aphrodite is the one who likes to talk deeply about the deeper subjects…you know….she likes to sit and talk deeply with people. That is what I love. I love this.

What are your thoughts about these mass awakenings happening?

You said it best at the beginning of this, which is that it is the return of the Goddess. And I think she is returning right now to the earth. I know popular culture doesn’t see that but there are people like Sera Beak, have you read her book Red Hot and Holy?

No…

It’s wonderful. She is a young goddess lover. Went to visit Mariom Woodman and you know, she is a little too much for me. I am a little too old for all the sex toys and stuff but she’s bringing it back in its full vitality and richness. And I think there is a whole movement out there. She calls it the Red Volution, instead of the revolution. I like her because when she speaks, she doesn’t try to be on top of it the way men often do, she is just up there with her trembling voice saying, “This is me. This is me. I am a goddess, and so are you!” You’d like seeing her. She is very beautiful.

I think we don’t need to go back to matriarchy, either. Patriarchy is changing, too. I think we can go to the balance. It’s a mystery. It is a deep mystery. I have learned to trust the mystery and not try to control every little thing.

This energy that is kundalini. How did you relate to it? Did you feel like it had sentience?

Oh yeah!

Did it feel like it was a part of you or it was separate?

At first I thought it was separate, but later, I felt that it was me. When I felt the goddess, I knew it was me. But before that, I felt this thing that was like a devil in me that I wanted to just cast it out….but I think that is what is happening, it is the goddess touching you. But because the patriarchy was so long in power that it has to be the goddess coming back now to balance it. And with Tom he was such a powerful form of the masculine that I had to touch that to balance that, to bring balance to its opposite.

Thank-you, Diane.

Included at the top of this blog is the next interview with Cynthia. I hope you find it helpful in your journey to remembering what you are.

Each interview has been given their own page so that they remain front and center on the page, making them easy to find. My thanks to Cynthia for taking the time to provide this resource for others.

These interviews are with people who have had what is commonly called an awakening, or an awakened kundalini. So far, everyone interviewed has been hip deep in the experience for a handful of years. That isn’t to suggest in any way that those new to this aren’t as informed. I know for myself, I am grateful to have kept a journal my first few years (I thought it would help me keep up and maybe figure it out–ha!) because it has helped me to remember just how the early experiences were like. For perspective maybe.

If you would like to add your voice to this growing body of information, I welcome your participation. I do this just to do my part to help others. You can email me and I will forward the questions to you. Sometimes I will ask follow up questions that I think may be relevant or to try and clarify some points for readers. In some cases, I am curious to know more.

Info@staffordartglass.com

Blessings,

~Parker

The interview with Ian is now up and is now permanently installed on its own page, which you will see along the header for the blog.  My thanks to Ian for being willing to go along with this project. I hope that it helps folks gain a broader perspective based on those who have been going through it.  ❤

 

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Wakulla County, Florida, Copyright Parker Stafford 2018

I have been doing a lot of travel recently ( I plan to do more now that I am officially an “empty nester”).  Some of it has been traveling to  places I grew up in, others to places I haven’t been before.  What is interesting to me is how when I travel, how it impacts the way I dream. This summer my daughter and I spent some time along some islands in the Gulf of Mexico.  As we traveled further south, every night for me was like digging deep into some deep barrel to lift out something long forgotten.  I have found over the course of ten years that the things that have led to releases energetically have been extremely broad.  I have used movement, Qi Gong, meditation, breath work, shaking and TRE (Trauma Release Exercises), dream work, and I even released a block on the advice of my guidance by drinking alcohol one evening just enough to get tipsy (and the next morning the release came-magic!).  No matter what the yogis or masters tell you, if you have a voice of guidance, follow it.  If that guidance says “find the nearest body of water” or something odd-ball like that (which happened to me) trust it.  Follow it.  And even if you don’t have a clearly defined thought-voice in your head, follow your gut, follow your urgings, and even try doing something you are afraid to do or that you have resisted. So much of our buried emotional material has to do with what we resist or bury, or try to ignore.  The bodhisattva in me wishes very much to assist you in realizing even more the bodhisattva that is within you…

In the case of this Summer, being in places where I grew up but have not been in for a very long time seemed to have an  effect on my state of mind and a kind of reverie I felt that extended into dreaming. In my case, the place I was in I hadn’t been to in close to 20 years, and before that, another 20 years which takes me all the way back to my early childhood. I find it interesting how traveling to familiar places that you haven’t seen in a long while can help spark or catalyze transformation, a kind of reclamation of the soul and its lost parts through buried hurt or trauma from the past.  This is actually what yoga seeks to do for the individual, which is to help clear the energy body of this stuck energy so that the primordial self might know itself in presence. I know that when you think of yoga you think of all of these postures, but true yoga is actually about realizing the divine within you.  This is its ultimate goal. Now as to whether yoga teachers are teaching yoga with this emphasis/awareness or not is another question altogether…

It has been a great Summer for me because I was able to spend time with a child whom my ex has worked diligently for years to lessen my exposure to.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my children and how engaged I am with them.  It has been a hard seven years but my child turned 18 and she was able to assert her rights as a person and that has meant that we finally were able to have a real summer together traveling and enjoying each others’ company.  We have been out boating, kayaking, snorkeling, swimming, taking walks,  and laying in the hot sun. We have been able to visit old family friends, and for my daughter, meet people from my past who are like family who my daughter had only heard in story.  All the while, in a way I can’t quite explain, my insides are being effected as I sleep at night and have these dreams that seem to access long forgotten parts of myself.  Some of it feels so peripheral I am not completely sure what is happening (sound familiar?) and some of it feels more familiar or known.  There is a lot in dream that has felt like accessing points or places within me that were concurrent with a certain place and time….

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Sunset over St Marks Nature Preserve, Wakulla County Florida. Copyright Parker Stafford 2018

I’m writing this urging you to consider breaking up your regimen by going to places you haven’t been to in a long time.  If you are  like me, and moved from your childhood home a long time ago and haven’t been back, try going back.  But relax, enjoy your time, see the sights and soak in what it was like to be there. Even if you didn’t like growing up there, there is really something to be said for returning to those old brambles….sometimes only to find that the brambles are all gone, or are ready to be rooted out of you. Sometimes just being there can be enough to connect you by way of geography, the smell of the place, the change in altitude or weather, or even the slight disorientation that comes from being in a new place.  We generally think of these things as disquieting, but in release work, it really can be the very trigger that lets an energetic loop slip out of your energy body and fall away.  I think that it could hold some surprises for you as it relates to release work. Sometimes dropping a pebble into long undisturbed waters can make for change….

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Key Largo, Florida. Copyright, Parker Stafford 2018.

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People talk about it, this veil…but the veil is in us, that is where it is.  It is made up of a bundle of our biases, the lies we tell ourselves or that have been told to us and we never bothered to correct them, taking them on blind faith. So is it any wonder we call it a veil?  We have blinded ourselves.

The act of removing the veil is a sticky one.  There is so much to release, to remove. So much of it is forgiving yourself just so you can be closer to the Source of all things.  I wish awakening was enough to rid you of all your masks, all your illusions, and all of the misperceptions and delusions….but it is a process and it takes time, commitment, willingness to help it along through a practice (even if its your own that no one else taught you but your own shining heart).  As the veils fall, the world becomes clearer.  We see the world more as it is and less as we are.

 

Blessings on your path….

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Long before awakening came along for me, I had been seeing energy, called auras, for decades. I had studied energy and how it works in us for some time before awakening came. When awakening came though, there emerged a more complete and perhaps more direct and intense awareness of energy in all of its forms. Instead of just seeing the energy as I had done for years, I was feeling it, inside my own shell of perception. This is a perception that the late Jane Roberts trance personality Seth described 40 years ago as “Inner Vibrational Touch.” * Simply put, the sensory abilities that I had prior to the awakening event caused my inner senses that had already been used prior to be tripled in their strength at the least.

 

Some of my earliest perceptions as a consequence of my awakening was of an aspect of energy bodies better known as the meridian system. I saw these in others as well as myself (I had only seen a kind of fibrous character to the aura in the halo in the years prior to awakening with my ordinary energy sensing but now I was sensing the inner core of energy of all kinds). I didnt know at first that what I was glimpsing were meridians. I was doing this not with every person I saw. I was able to glimpse this through a particularly intimate or close connection that was forged as a facet of many awakenings that are referred to as the Twin Soul phenomenon. These are marked by a feeling as though one is sharing the same space as the other, that two consciousnesses are occupying the same psychic space even though they might be seperated by vast distances (in my case I had never met my “twin” in this life and she lived in another country).

In our encounters, which were less a willed process and one that simply was, I found  that my own inner proclivity to want to explore and discover manifested itself in my usng my newly enhanced third-eye perception to explore the physics of our bond. I wanted to understand why we were joined at the hip, so to speak, and why was it that thousands of others were also reporting the same phenomenon. I think I was able to see these meridian lines because of her and my initial close bonding.  Part of the experience was that the force of the draw was simply much too strong to resist, so instead of resisting, I went into it as deeply as I could in order to find out as much as I could about this experience (this blog is an outgrowth of those earliest of discoveries)

Very recently I realized that this perception of the meridians in the human body has a tie-in with what people describe as the “grid” or patterns in the universe. I was so not getting or even relating to all of this “grid” talk, mostly because the universe isnt a grid. I mean, if you look at it energetically, it isn’t. Instead, at the nano-scale, there are strands connecting everything to everything else in physical space, but this is seen at the subatomic scale mostly. The strands are so many that they wind up creating the appearance of a coherence…a glow rather than individual strands. Yet, this is the fundamental reality underlying this energy which is the necessity for a strand is based on laws related to physics (albeit energetically).

Since our bodies are made of matter and matter is energy, and because our consciousness is made up of aware energy (prana or qi), it makes sense to understand what we are dealing with here. I’m a guy who really loves to know how things work. I love how things work because I really want to know how I, a human, can co-create with the creative energy that pervades the whole universe ( and I know the energy is matter at a different vibration). That is it in a nutshell.

That said, the path to clearer seeing and perceiving is through a clarified self. To see clearly, the mirror must be polished, the glass must be cleared of its stain, the lake must be clarified of all of its muck to not only see into its depths, but to also see out of it. As a consequence, the inner work of clarifying, cleansing, and healing the distortions in the self are critical for a self that itself becomes the clear lense of inner sight (“insight”). The self must be cleansed of the forces that bias consciousness and misdirect attention. It is interesting that the force of awakening itself actually serves the purpose of helping to cleanse the self in this way. Followers, pilgrims, monks, and yogis through the ages have utilized the power of awakening to help cleanse the apparatus of perception so that they might see more clearly. The self, consciousness, becomes the telescope and microscope through which we can examine the world (and this includes the inner senses as well).

Doing this work leads to learning the difference between what I call the ego-compass and the soul-compass, which tends to point us in different directions (with the soul compass always getting us to the right place and cutting through the bullshit even if its the bullshit we have created for ourselves). We often tend to pick up the ego compass because it was such a central part of our thinking for so long, even if it led us into ditch after ditch. This is how we begin to adopt cosmic consciousness or cosmic mind. We learn that this so-called “false self” (boy I dislike that term!) is the same as this false or egoic compass. It is filled with things we desire, but those desires are driven by our distortions carried in our light body/consciousness . A real conundrum. Learning to detect the soulful compass from the selfish one can be a real challenge, but I have found that there are signs that help to identify it (both actually).

In the realm of energy, my eyes really were opened to a level I hadn’t quite experienced with seeing energy for years before awakening came. One of the first things that I found while existing in a state of union most of the time with a “soul twin” or “twin flame” experience was that I found that I would routinely use my inner sight to see her energy body. In truth, I coukd not always tell which was hers and which was mine sometimes.  I found that my consciousness would get very small and be able to see these strands of energy that moved through her whole body that looked like these white stands of light that looked a lot like nerve fibers. In fact, when I moved my energetic hand through them, I could feel them give and pull against my hand. They were kind of rubbery to my inner sense for energy. I also found that when I combed my hands through her field, it did two things. First, she would go into states of ecstacy, which she would complain of as being too much to take, to be able to feel, and still stay focused in the physical. Second, she would also go into opposite states that corresponded to what happens when we resist letting go of blocked energy. We have emotional meltdowns. I was there, combing her energy with my energy because I could feel how the interaction was so healing, but that it also was not the heady healing she was ready for. At this time, these meridians looked like white fibers. I was able to do this combing, a healing kind of massage, I guess, that I layer found was much like Reiki for how it was higher order energy and because I could do this from many thousands of miles away while it felt to her as though I was nearby The picture above is a poor representation of the strands I later saw, and how in earlier perceptions they were like veins or nerves, albeit energetic in nature and seeable only through the third eye. They were everywhere, down to the smallest level (cellular and subatomic) and up to the largest size along the torso.

If we fast forward a decade, we get to a point in my healing process where I have released a significant amount of material and I am finding that things are looking more and more different to me. What things, you might ask? Well, a lot of things really changed. For example, the release of so much emotionaly distorted stuff led me to understanding peoples’ behavior in relation to me in a much different way, which is that so much of what people think they see is the result of the distortions present in awareness. We assume so many things about how we think the world is or why people do what they do when in all truth we are judging based on each of our own inner rule book, which has nothing at all to do with what might actually be happening to the people in the world that we are seeing and judging (unknowingly). Our own inner distortions keep us from seeing things as the are, you see. That said, I am not suggesting that I am completely clear. I still have my work that I am actively engaged in, but increasingly, as I go from energetic event to energetic event, from one clearing to the next, my inner sensing has become much changed.

I knew that these white strands I had seen corresponded to the meridians in Chinese medicine. I saw that where each strand crossed another strand, ormwhere a branch moved into a central a channel, that there was always this little…chakra there, a vortex of energy. As each strand joined to still larger strands, these points got bigger and bigger, these chakras. Long before I knew anything about the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of chakras in the body, I was seeing many many of these points in the bodies of people who let me see them. I looked at my own, too, and it was when I was able to do this during a body work session with my healer that I was able to see something that I had never seen described in any of the literature….anywhere. Looking down at my body, I was able to see how each accupuncture/pressure point was actually made up of many other points all inside this one point. I saw in each strand also that the strand was not solid or monolithic but was instead made up of thousands and thousands of strands all within the same meridian itself. It was not unlike how it might look to see a bundle of fiberoptic fibers upclose. I could see some fibers within the meridian that were colored more darkly and I could trace that fiber back to a chakra point or meridian point down, say, into the leg or near the back, even though I was looking at the meridian going up the torso before it moved into the heart chakra, for example. I was able to see that everything in this meridian system was related to everything else and that all ofmit was delicately, masterfully, created as a portal for bringing in energy from the universe and spirit into our here and now. This energy could be for healing, for creating new technologies, for any number of things.

What came next was the realization that what was in us was also in the universe. Now, I knew that the torus field exists around every atom, every living being, and is also surrounding the earth, the sun, and also the galaxy, but so too is this thing everyone has been calling “the grid.” I just wasn’t making the connection! Tiny little torus’s that make up ever subatomic particle on up to living things, planets, suns, the whole shooting match. Making this connection helps to explain why it is that we feel everything as sentient and alive (because this living energy that runs through everything sentient and nonsentient is alive even if its in nonsentient matter….(as if THAT now makes ANY sense whatsoever!) It also shows that just as we have blocked energy in our bodies there can be blocked energy placed in the physical system, too. This manifests as troubled areas in the world where mostly humans fought or hurt each other and got energy stuck in the area where things took place. This can be released in the same way that we release stuck energy in ourselves.

I noticed that when I saw these energy points or chakras with all of these other smaller points from other strands or meridians within them, I realized that this was probably what was behind the depiction of chakras as many-petalled flowers. What I saw was a disc with many other discs within it. Each smaller disc was a strand from another chakra in the body, which means that our energy body is this interconnected, redundant system that takes the idea of connectivity to a whole new level. To say we were made for connection is an understatement! I had not read anywhere that a petal on one chakra corresponded to another chakra…but here I was seeing how these little ringlets or sphericules surrounding a pressure point were relating to a point in another chakra. Have you ever touched a point on your body and felt as though it was also touching another point further away?…as if you were touching two points, one physically and one energetically? It is very much like this in a way.

Now hang on: I want to stress something and I hope you can get what I am going to say. Inhave enough observations in thenworld of energy to know that since energy rides between one dimension and others, trying to get it to fall into neatly defined catagories is probably foolhearty to do. I have noticed that my perception will sometimes offer me something that is more like a hallucination, or an inner sensory creation in order to provide me information about the truth of what is going on. Many people who see auras describe them in a fairly uniform way despite the fact that the eyes cannot really see into that wavelength of energy! So what gives? The deeper truth here is that seeing auras is not a physical sense…at all. It is an inner sense. It appears that one is actually seeing this halo around the body when in fact, this is all just a seeming. Wait!! What?!! It is now widely known that when the brain is confronted with information that does not come from the five senses, it will plug that data into a sensory slot that makes the most sense to it at the time. Physiological psycholgists are familiar with this spectrum of behavior and itnis now well documented tha this does indeed happen. In  the case of seeing auras, the brain is aware of all of this information and it puts it into a visual center to be processed, even though it is not coming in from physical senses (this is how psychics can report hearing voices-claireaudience-as a means if speaking with thise who are no longer physical, for example). It seems that we are wired or designed for psychic senses.

As long as we carry powerful enough distortions in our fields of awareness, we will mistake our distortions for the truth. This is the risk we take. By learning how to FEEL fully and more deeply, we can begin to feel the deep innermost compass in our soul that will not err in directing each of us to the right place for our development and fulfillment.

I have also noticed that we can’t really examine these points beyond a third eye awareness and make much sense of them. Yes, we can objectively see where a strand or a chakra is blocked, but the path to unblocking is one that is not done objectively, but rather, subjectively. Subjectively how? By feeling, of course! By letting that rip-tide of near-orgasmic energy that is the bliss field pouring through us illuminate the blocks and push them on up and out, effectively transmuting the blocked energy into bliss energy! This is irrational. Forget your need or ability to control-like Shakti this is wild and free. This is through feeling that we do this. When you let this bliss flow and then shine that bliss into the darker corners of yourself or another, it begins to break up the blocked energy right away….unless the other resists it. And sometimes when we turn it on ourselves, we can actually feel the resistance building in us. But what I have found is that this is not cause for upset with ourselves, just see the resistance as a sign that points directly to where your next challenge in healing lies. A problem thus becomes your teacher….not just a problem to be solved or set aside (or worse; hidden). Some people have an amazing ability to hold onto old junk and keep from letting go their grip on the familiar in favor of the new human experiencing the cosmic (I count myself as one of these people with an extraordinary grip!). Anyway…

So we can use the rational mind to see things as they are if we can clear the third eye chakra. But seeing is not feeling, so be ready to feel the issue full-on with your whole energy body. But to feel clearly, I have found we each need to be clear….and to be clear, we really need to be honest with ourselves. I have seen how others have fooled themselves into thinking they were further along then they really were because of how their own work was used to fuel their often brutalized ego, which soaked up all the love and turned it into more of itself (which was ego-energy).

If you want a quick way out of the path of progress, just feed that ego. It will tell you all kinds of things, some completely true, but some remarkably distorted, about how things are. This is in large part because the small individual ego onlynhas access to your own localized belief systems that you have adopted in this life, it does not access as a matter of course the information from the superself or cosmic consciousness (which is where an even more expansive sense or superego resides that is involved in touching the others in cosmic encounters beyond ordinary consciousness) This is why it is so useful to be able to step outside of ego and into that silence of the self where the eternal stream of pranic bliss can be met and felt. It isn’t that ego is bad or evil. It is in fact completely necessary as a filtering device for phenomenon (trust me, feeling your neighbor stubbing her toe isn’t always the great experience-we are individual for a reason). Without ego, you would be completely overtaken with the flood of information flowing through the whole of the universe, which happens to also be flowing through you as well (we just feel it as “flow” instead of the gazillions of feelings thoughts and bitsmof information from everyone and everything else in the universe). Haven’t you ever felt that stream of energy-as-information? Have you sensed how it would be just too much for any one person to be completely aware of? Have you felt that overwhelming immensity, knowing that you were standing off to the side, like a person looking at an immense vista rather than merging with its totality? Well, that is what we do each moment of the day. It is also why the energy is orgasmic…it carries so much creative energy, which is naturally stimulating in nature. And by orgasmic, I mean energetically orgasmic, what the Buddhas have all known as bliss. To handle it all, and to experience individuality, we have the marvelous filter called ego. But we also have to be careful that it doesnt get inflated, right? By learning to side-step ego, cosmic consciousness can be experienced without it getting in the way. Some want to call this “ego death” which, having gone through what this is supposed to represent, I can say that ego does not die…only our dependence on its filling a central role in our lives dies or is refigured. No death, only life. More and more life!

I observed that the meridian system connects everything in the body, along energetic lines, together. This means that I saw how these lines exist all the way down at the subatomic level. This is what I mean when I said in the beginning that I explored the energy body of the one I was connected to at the early stages of my awakening. AsmI delved into the energy field, I saw that these lines went to finer and finer lines until the lines went into subatomic particles. Its really wuite a fascinating thing to see. At the level of the atom, these lines look different than the main meridians do. At the level of the meridians that travel along the trunk of the body, there are so many strands existing there from all the other things that the energy is connecting, that it looks like an artery when it is in truth made up of millions of individual strands, much like fiber optic cables that are bundled together. Further, the way a strand or “artery” feels in the torso is different from how it feels at the subatomic level. At the subatomic level,the force is very weak compared to the force of the overall auric field. Still, though, there is nothing quite so joyous as feeling what the “subatomics” are feeling every moment of the day. The capacity might be small at the subatomic level, but the force it connects to is very strong (the universe). When I have seen the strands at the subatomic level, they are much like spiders webs, except that the strand is made up of extremely thin strands of white light that has this slight glow around them. The glow from a distance in perception can be read as the strand itself, making it seem bigger than it is. Look closely and I saw that the energy was both field and particle all at once. It was hard for me to divide this perception…it was simply…both all at once. It had magnetic properties that made it possible to disrupt the flow while still maintaining the overall structure of the energetic field. If you cut off a finger, the field is not cut off, it reforms itself like the body does in order to heal.

Whether or not our own chakras corresponds to chakras that are in the physical system, like the earth or cosmos, I can’t say. I haven’t looked into it like this yet, but I am interested in doing so. I am also very interested in anyone who might have some observations that they have made along these lines. I do know that I have felt the energetic lines of the earth every day, and I have felt the energy of the sun and how it interacts with earth. I just haven’t sensed into these bodies or fields for the presence of these transit lines or points where they cross (aka chakras). Maybe in the universe it is on a different scale than our own bodies. I’m not sure that our chakra system is a carbon copy of anything except the human being. Maybe the transit system for energy is what is common, tying everything together regardless of how things connect together. I would love to hear your thoughts because you know how meditating on and noodling these things are…

 

* While in trance, Jane Roberts personality Seth described a series of inner senses which readers ofmthe Seth books could discover and use for better understanding the world and their place in it. Inner Vibrational Touch was described as picking up where empathy leaves off. Empathy suggests an ability to reflect on ones own past experience and infer what someone must be feeling. With IVT, it is possible to feel as the other person is feeling in that moment. One is able to tune into the specific vibration of emotion and replicate it within ones own perception. It thus feels as though one is experiencing directly what the other person is feeling (this is also consistent with the majority of people and their experiences with awakening).

For perspective, the Egyptian culture brought us the description and detailing of hundreds of inner senses, of which IVT is but one of many.

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