It is so easy to wrap an awakening in myths and ideas about what we think it is. There is a lot written about it from other times, cultures, mind sets. All of it has a lot of good stuff. Inevitably, though, even the awakened come up against the limits of what we ourselves can allow ourselves to know or consider. It is a cognitive box. Breaking out of it is what this energy, this shift, can offer. All of us.
In my awakening, soul connections have been part of the process. I have karma to work through and this is the time that it seems it is going to get done. The problem though is that in the community that speaks the most to these connections as twin flames and twin souls, there is a lot of disinformation. I call it this because I don’t know what else to call it. It is itself a cognitive box. Lacking any better explanation, we come up with something that matches what it feels like. Connecting in this way is pure bliss. Yes. But assuming it is because it is meeting the other half of you is a mistake. What this idea does is it masks, I feel, what is actually at work. Walk with me for a minute.
So if you have had this, you know how events have such a wild way of happening? Where do you think those events emerge from? Are they coming from God? Or is it possible that they are coming from you? I have had so many of these events happen to me, literally hundreds big and small that what I have been able to observe that when the energy, the bliss of this experience was at its peak, these synchronicities tended to happen in profusion. Each and every time, this happened. There is a correlation with the energy and my thoughts. I do feel that what is happening is that we are dropping into a flow of energy, creative energy that is our birthright. This bliss IS this creative energy. We say it is libidinous, which is a fancy way of saying it feels sexual. It does. But it is more than just that. It is sensual, lovely, freeing, and it is the very thing that melts us, that breaks up our inner blocks. It frees us. And isn’t this the essence of creativity? Creativity almost always makes us see things differently. Think about it. Almost all new ideas shift how we see things. It is not JUST what people are doing, it is the energy fueling it. A product results….maybe some new discovery, some new form, some new piece of art, music, or institution. Creativity is in every corner of our lives. So this energy, expressed as bliss, which I say I experience as creative in its root, is literally making events all around me come alive. But wait….if this is not being divinely guided, but is just my own ability to manifest supercharged, then it means that instead of it having some grand design, it could simply be what I feel in my heart as a possibility to happen, and carried by the energy, it does? From thinking about something only to see a bumper sticker a second later that echoes it, ir I bump into someone who tells me about a story that helps to put me on the track of some new wrinkle in my work that I have been thinking about that day? Over and over and over, these events all happen. Some would say they are “fated” but they all cohere to my own thoughts. If there is nothing blocking that block in me, the event happens. Simple. So maybe this is just our normal ability to manifest now super-charged.
And yes, you feel bliss with this Other, whom you call twin. But have you ever looked into it to know why? All of the universe, we are told, is about like attracting like. When we attract along a certain vibration, those vibrations naturally reinforce each other. And the flow of soul energy is increased. Bliss results. Over and over I have seen this in my life and I have seen it in others, too. We are now awake, yes, the flow is now instigated. We are forever changed. Forever. Get around more like-minded kind and the vibration naturally reinforces itself. It is I think an important consideration. What happens if there is something in that vibration that is karmic from the past. It could generate really powerful fear too. DO you think that this could be the concept behind the “runner” experience? Honestly, I think so. We feel this bliss, but we then also feel this fear….and this fear? It is the karma we share and the bulk effect of what this karma has meant to use on a soul level. And what is this karma except a turning away from all that is true in us? Bear in mind, I am only talking about the negative karma. Yes, there is also positive karma. Yes! Thank goodness! But the positive karma does not trip us up. In fact, it holds us up. But the negative stuff can cause us to nose-dive, am I right? So until that karmic knot is resolve there will be challenges! So we deal with them. The knot is there in you and me because we have set it aside and not dealt with it. We pushed it down. What we ignore is what persists. And sometimes, the knot is nothing more than a strong emotion that we did not feel or embrace completely. We instead denied it and there it has lain since the beginning. But when you release such a block…..WHOOOSH! Boom. Done. Gone. And for me, when it is gone, it is GONE! Whatever hung me up is just…..no longer an issue. And it doesn’t make a lot of sense! You would think that what we think and feel is so easy to access, sift and work through….but alas, our bodies show every sign of STORING this stuff in our bodies. Yes, in the body, right along with the current of prana that makes up the sheaves or layers the Hindu call the koshas. This is what makes us like a multilayered being and the clearing that happens in awakening sweeps through each of these vibrational layers so that there are up to, they say, five cleansings or total clearings of each chakra before the process is largely completed, removing all of this stored pent-up material. But until these knots that tie to negative karma are resolved, they too draw us, attract us without being aware of what it is for the simple reason that this material is not always conscious. It has been stuffed down, after all, right? SO that gets hard to deal with, right? Submerged feeling. It means we have to learn how to feel DEEP and honestly. And bravely. For me, it is undoing all of this bent and twisted energy so that I can feel the free flow of the divine within me. Unhindered, all of the things that caused the flow of energy to become turbulent…..just like how obstructions in a water hose will make the water flowing out of it spray and gush and behave erratically. Energetically, these thoughts/feelings impede the flow of energy. This is pretty huge, too. Thought controls energy? Well what do you think we could learn from that? Could it lead us to a way of being where we could learn how to free ourselves from all sorts of limiting factors? I recently watched a video of a man who had spent years learning how to clear himself and to use his energy for healing. He demonstrated how he could shock people by touching them (no, not static, silly!) and inducing paper to burn using hot chi, something that I experienced in my body at one point that alarmed me but also served to heal and balance my energy. And could it be just as simple as that? Could it be as simple as clearing the pathway so that both the yin and yang channels, the positive and negative poles of our life force energy can better flow and merge?
So think about what it is that is drawing you and then think about how you feel when you feel scared to death when the draw brings you to that place. What is that feeling you are seeking to turn away from? What is it that your insides are trying to tell you? It is creating a draw, yes, but look at what else it is doing! It is serving to bring you to a place of honesty within. Real deep kind of honesty. And it can be messy. Don’t be afraid. We all shun these feelings because we think its not good of us. I have spent years holding back some of this and I have during the last six months begun to really dig into it deeper and deeper. Each time, though, the result has been the same; I release some deep hard knot in my being and the energy flows more gently. I feel more peace. And I am free from this feeling of impending doom or fill in the blank. We are, though, admittedly, perhaps unknowingly, addicted to our hard feelings. It is the devil that we know. It is time to let the tiger out of the cage! Dive into that hardness and let this eenrgy flow into it and change it. Just by LOOKING at it, it can change your life. No, I offer you no methods because the “method” is the one that always brings you to the point of honesty and clarity. I know that each time that I do everything I can to put my awareness on that shadow spot, I can feel how the light of my awareness and the divine energy that flows through the eyes of my own inner awareness that it is knowingly or unknowingly breaking those blocks apart, scattering the shadow and allowing it to transform, lift away, to go away for good. And this? It is not a rational process. It requires you to just FEEL your energy. FEEL it.
Wherever you feel a sense of tightness, there is something there. Don’t try to wrestle with it. Sit with it, FEEL it quietly. Something inside of you KNOWS. But this is why we meditate. We do this in order to tune into the inner world of our energy. This energy is also what is connecting us to the rest of the world. It can be beautiful once we have cleaned up the mess inside. Instead of being pulled in different directions, we just feel acceptance, joy, bliss. And while I continue on this path, not pretending to be “done” with all my stuff, I have seven years or so of hard “work” of learning to let go, to surrender in ever deeper ways within myself. As I do, I feel deeper into my resource field that makes it possible for me to move on to the next even harder spot.
It seems, for me, I have saved the hardest knots for last. But you know what? I am now very confident in my ability to just go ahead and face what I have seemingly denied for lifetimes. letting go of this will free all my other selves, even those in the past, to know alternative pasts to follow. I will indirectly be showing them the way. It is such a personal and sometimes messy process, but we should never shrink back because of that. So if using a technique works for you, use it. ALL methods serve to help us FEEL a certain way. Will it work for you? Perhaps. For me, I like a method-less approach because it leaves me with nothing between me and the thing I am facing. A method is like a boat to get you there, but you have to abandon the boat once you get there. This process demand absolute perfect and simple facing of whatever has not been faced.
Recently I faced a decision I had to make. I thought about it and it unnerved me because my inner voice was telling me that I had to start doing the opposite of what I had been feeling I had to do. So, despite all reason, I considered that there was a path to this that I had not considered, or that had been veiled. I then did something I have not done in a long time; I picked up the I-Ching and threw coins asking my question about how I was to move forward. What did I need to know about this? What came up made me laugh. It was “Abundance.” You see, one of my biggest issues that crops up has to do with my relationship with women….and in this life it began with my mother. I know that it has cropped up in other lives. This has, at its root, something to do with the feminine force in things. And abundance is deeply tied to the feminine. It is the feminine that grows the new things within her. There is an inception force, the masculine, which is necessary in all of this, but it is from this inception that grows miracles. What comes from the feminine is larger than the sum of its parts. This happens in physical life as well as in our spiritual life, too. My journey has been in correcting my own inner glitch in how I am in relation to the feminine. Something about my experience has put the breaks on my own ability to face my own ability to attract abundance into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have done well attracting it, but it is often full of hitches, what-if’s and a lot of turbulence. There is a problem there. The fear I have has manifested itself in abandonment in my early life, and this set the stage for always keeping people at a distance. This emotional armoring has been falling away piece by piece over this entire process. Layer by layer. So to have abundance come up was very interesting. To get to the bottom of it, I had to go forward, embrace whatever it was that was causing me trouble instead of resisting it and hoping it would just heal or go away. Sure, given enough time, that old wound might scab over and fall away of its own accord. Early in my awakening I had material like this that fell away in just this way; it was all very old material that had stuck itself to me even though it was no longer a part of my experience. It was released when the being, an angel, who reached into my heart and pulled it out. It was like a boneless dead body. Gross! I had been carrying that around all this time. But what took its place was…..nothing. It was a glorious emptiness that was now ready to be filled by this new energy filling my life. So just looking into it has shifted so much. Where does it lead? I have no clue. But you know, I know that the intelligence behind this energy, which is also the universe, I have no problem with. I am connected to it…a cell within its body. I trust this. It is not exactly God. It is something larger than my own awareness….an awareness of what is. If only it was so pat as a deity!
Then, a couple of days later I got a message from someone in my field of work who wanted to see if we could see if we could work out a working relationship that was beneficial to both of us. This had been something that felt being kept at bay. I had been asking my inner self to show me the way with a larger community and perhaps a partner that could take my work to a whole other level. I kept this neutral, not wishing to push it one way, I just asked that it be in the highest. And then I got another call that had the power to move my work into another new direction. Coincidences like these cluster around these kinds of shifts. I once shifted some material and someone who had made a 100k offer on a building that was worth way more than that doubled their offer the very next day. It had been six months since the last offer, and boom, out of the blue. These have been so closely timed with these kinds of shifts that I have seen them as having a causal connection. It is simply too coincidental. These have always followed these releases. Its as though events simply change or turn into something else, taking on an entirely different cast. I have a number of cases like this where I literally bumped into someone who I didn’t know from Adam who was interested in something that I was trying to sell or move, and how it all happened was entirely “accidental.” When you remove what divides you, the path opens up. Mountain move. It is a potentiating of the waveform within the universe and within ourselves. I do think so. When I can allow that wave to continue, interesting things happen, always. Living on top of that wave is where things just happen like….magic. Almost all of these things that happen are not the result of me doing anything….they just happen. And this is so often how these things happen. Events can begin to flow effortlessly, but it is we who need to do the clearing so the intention made has the ability to flow from us to the universe which will react, respond to that vibration. The more open-ended you make the intention, the more freedom the universe has to bring you what is perfect. That or its your higher self, which is what I am betting on. We can go beyond just surviving. We can thrive. Instead of the law of the jungle, it can be the law of heaven. Let’s give it a chance!
Waking The Infinite 