Archives for category: awakening

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I have been doing a lot of research now on a subject near and dear to me: early esoteric Christianity. As a result of this work, I have begun to discover a few things about Eastern tradition as it relates to awakening, and most specifically kundalini.  When I say “Eastern” I include Indian, Chinese, and Japanese traditions for the most part.

Before I touch on that, let me say that I made a fascinating discovery about esoteric Christianity that happened concurrently with my awakening experience in the first few months of my awakening: they, early Christians, were describing kundalini in their own way. Sure, the words being used were different, but by cross-referencing throughout their documents, it was clear what they were describing. My research is about this and I am hoping to develop it into a decent guide that helps to show that Jesus was indeed teaching a secret doctrine. This was a secret because not everyone was ready for it. And no, I am not remotely suggesting Jesus travelled to India or Tibet to “get” this. For my money, my theory is more fascinating and hopeful than that. I think there is ample evidence to suggest that anyone who has awakening can describe and then teach about it after having experienced it if they are good at being able to understand its many facets and can convey the information in a cogent and direct way….and even in indirect ways.

This, though, is about a link to awakening that was picked up by Jesus that does not appear to be taught in the East. At least not in any direct way. I know this link because it was a clear and certain element in my awakening. Coincidence? Nope!

This missing element strikes me as the essence of what opens us each to awakening. This link, a seed really, if understood properly, could help awaken more of us. Maybe.  Probably. It would mean having the right teacher who knows how to relate a person to what this missing link means in our consciousness. It would mean learning how to be different, or how we relate to what we are deeper down. Its just a seed, but great things grow from them. Like a mustard seed, maybe. Winks.

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The interview with Ian is now up and is now permanently installed on its own page, which you will see along the header for the blog.  My thanks to Ian for being willing to go along with this project. I hope that it helps folks gain a broader perspective based on those who have been going through it.  ❤

 

There is a lot being said about “toxic masculinity” and on the one hand, it is a good thing. It means there is a growing awareness of the problem that men have throughout the world. On the other hand, most discussions revolve around how bad it is without much in the way of solutions. It is bad, but saying it doesn’t do anything to change it. We should (and can) do better.

The problem with so many of our issues is that we often use the same approach or reaction to them that are involved in the dysfunction itself. Huh? What this means is we don’t really address the problem. We are fighting fire with fire. We tend to get caught up in reacting and stay in that reactionary space.

Talking about racism, or violence, toxic masculinity, or any of our other ill does nothing to fix them so long as we come to the table with our feeling of fear about them. That is where the discussion is right now in the main. Fear? It doesn’t look like fear to hear people talk about it. It probably more accurately sounds like anger, right? But as any psychologist will tell you, or as any thoughtful person intuitively senses, anger comes from something. Want to guess where it comes from?

Fear breeds anger and anger breeds hate. It is the same with nearly every dysfunction that humans experience. And yes, most feeling people who are expressing about toxic masculinity have fear tied up in them. People are afraid of what a toxic male might do, and they are angry about this fact. The blogs are full of how much people hate this about men. Are you seeing now how these feelings are all intertied? But feeling this is only the first step. If you are only at the reactionary stage, you are doing nothing to help be part of the cure. This is a nonstarter that will leave us on an endless merry-go-round. We have to learn how to approach it differently.

The way through and out of this is the opposite of our fear. That is love. Love brings compassion, and compassion stills our fear and opens us to understanding, or at least the possibility that we can. The way to solving toxic masculinity is by probing it and seeking to understand its roots through a mind and heart that is open, and you cannot have an open heart when fear, anger, or hate are present. We need to learn a different approach if we are to ever resolve this issue…or any issue like this. This is step two.

I have experienced many of the inputs that drive toxic masculinity. Some of them have to do with the roles that we as men have been saddled with. These beliefs about what a “real man” is supposed to be are often the very things that give rise to this toxicity. This toxicity as it is called, is the result of unnatural beliefs about manhood, beliefs that unnaturally chain men as they grow and learn about masculinity. These inputs, the behaviors coming from our culture that inform males from cradle to grave, come from all sides of life. It happens early in life, usually from the moment a baby boy is brought home after having been born.

We are all culpible in this failed effort at raising males to be better adjusted as human beings. The influences are so pervasive that a male born to an enlightened household will still probably grow up having friends who give him a picture of what they believe being masculine is all about.

This means that women are helping to form these beliefs in our sons in a number of ways, and men also perpetuate them by believing that they are important enough to internalize and pass on to their own sons. We are all involved in this. Men do it as much as women do, the only difference is that women complain about it when they see the results of the behavior in their male children and the men they are either friends with or are married to. Men, because they are the ones internalizing the beliefs that lead to emotional toxicity, are just less aware of it for the simple reason that when you are the one with the belief, that belief serves to blind you so you don’t see it as well as a bystander can. How many times have you seen a man behave from a toxic place and maybe apologize but then go on to continue with the same reactive behavior again a little later? The problem is that if you are a bystander you are often only seeing symptoms, not causes, and you are reacting to those symptoms rather than doing what I prescribed earlier, which is what will lead us more dependably to the source of the problem so that it can be fixed. Men, for their part, have so internalized something that they know is poisoning them, but seem powerless to do anything to change it. To remove the bite from this poisoned apple takes what might seem a herculean effort. I observe that it requires patience and love.

To explain this issue, I have a video that is brave and brilliant, that I hope you will take a moment to look at. It is a TED Talk, which means that it isn’t long, and the speaker gets to the point. What she explains, as a sex worker, are the problems she sees with men that need to be fixed. What needs fixing involves a change in what we believe masculinity is all about. We know there is a problem, but reacting to it only guarantees that the problem remains. Once you watch it, I will have a few words to put this into perspective as it relates to my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns

So one of the biggest problems has to do with how we create a belief about what being masculine is about. Real boys don’t cry, mothers calling their sons their “little man.” These are the beliefs that become internalized. They are literal poison to mens hearts, minds, and souls.

In my marriage my wife described our son as her “protector” when he was all of two years old, a signal to him that has had disastrous consequences for his mental health and well being later in life. I know the causal link to this relationship dynamic because I was able to see how it began innocently at age two with my son, and continued through his growing years into adulthood. I saw how a child grew increasingly neurotic and troubled, and when his mother and my relationship began to dissolve, he became polarized by her bad boundaries with him so that his and my relationship also dissolved. His mother’s divorce became his divorce, too.

The problem with this is that while it might feel good to have a child that is exhibiting these traits, they can have disastrous effects on children in the long run. A child should not be called upon to be a caretaker, that is the parent’s job. For another, when all a child has is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Without his being able to understand what being a protector meant for him, this behavior served in his life to always side with his Mother and anytime she had a challenge, difficulty, or dissagrement, he was swift to come to her aid. Any time his Mother or I were not in agreement, guess who reflexively sided with his Mother? My son did. This created a sense that his Father, who loved him very much, might well be a threat. He was a child, really what did he know? It sounds like such a laudible trait, doesn’t it? He went on to have girlfriends, some of whom he felt were his job to fix or protect. It meant that he was naturally drawn to women who needed help. There is nothing wrong with helping a person, but when it is something that needs to be done on a regular basis, there is something amiss in that relationship. In our rush to follow our inner programming, we don’t always see the forest for the trees.

In this type of codependent dynamic, the male derives a reward for his behavior as a protector, making him feel important, and the female has a male that is attentive to her many needs, some of which are (in my life) based in uncertainty, anxiety, and fear (in the case of a codependent relationship). The male is in his own way also anxious and fearful (about being accepted), but most often neither are self reflective enough to even see whatis at the root of their behaviors. When you base a relationship on those qualities, you are effectively getting painted into a corner where both people remain in the pattern with little benefit to trying to break out of it.

This is one outcome of toxic masculinity. A boy is asked to do something completely counter to his own true nature because society expects it of him. He internalizes the behavior because of his desire to be accepted, and he suffers as a result. He is alienated from a father who loves him and he grows up angry and rageful because a child is simply ill-equipped to act like an adult. I can tell you that in my experience being mother’s “little man” or “protector” warps a male child’s heart and mind.

Males thus raised will wind up acting out because that boy or teen (or adult) is actively suppressing his truer nature, and his acting out is in turn hurting others, and the cycle continues adinfinitum. The problem is that he was brainwashed into believing that what was “out there” as a problem (the nail to his hammer) is now inside of him. A child doesn’t know how to properly protect anyone, so they are flying by the seat of their immature pants. Whoops.

The way out of this is to stop raising children like this to begin with. That means acknowledging that boys need to show love, compassion, and feel safe feeling their emotions instead of putting on a false act of pretending they are tough saviors and hero’s. Little boys are not little men. They are as tender and as sensitive as their female counterparts. The only difference is they are taught in subtle and overt ways that they should be something that does not fit them. Women are taught similarly, but with a completely different set of expectations. We dislike those roles on both of the ends of the spectrum, right?

When parents demand that their sons “man-up” or play the tough guy, they are robbing their boys of their humanity and their childhoods. The results are like what happened to my own son. This happens even without the dysfunctional element that was present in my particular situation.

This kind of programming isn’t always overt. Sometimes it is small, subtle, and often goes unnoticed. Thousands of miniscule things add up. When my then-wife came to me telling me with swelling pride about how our two year old son was her protector, I felt a stab of caution and concern. My impulse was to tell her that this wasn’t the kind of thing to be encouraging in my son. I thought how she would feel defensive if I did that, no matter how kindly I chose my words. I also thought that it was just a phase and that he would grow out of it, so I didn’t say anything.

I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.

Would it have made a difference? 20/20 tells me no, but you don’t really know for sure. I could have educated myself as a first-time parent and then sat her down, imploring her not to encourage this in our son for his own sake, and shown her the studies. I did not do what many parents probably have also not done down through the ages. We just kept kicking the can of paternalistic toxicity down the road.

I find that I often ask myself what I could have done differently. I always wished that he would suspend his disbelief in my love for him and spend time with me away from his Mother, something I knew could short-circuit the pattern of denigration she engaged with my children in an effort to destroy my relationship with my children during our divorce. She wouldn’t be able to comment on our time alone together without any degree of accuracy, which might be enough, I thought, for him to be able to see what a lie all of this was. That never was able to happen. By that time, my son was a walking poster child for so much of what is wrong with men. The thing is, I had married with an unacknowledged desire to be the knight in shining armor. You can never save a person who is not ready to be saves, who is not ready to grow and change out of old patterns.

Toxic masculinity is front and center for me in my life. There is no glossing it over. I know how it has affected me, I know how it has affected my son. We are all responsible for the fallout from it.

Reprogramming Our Men

Once programmed, men need safe places to be able to explore their God-given humanity. They need patience and they need to feel safe from being ridiculed for feeling in a sensitive way. Our culture is saturated with this false view of masculinity. When men have to suck it up when women get to gush and emote, you know there is a problem. Criticizing a man for being reactive only causes him to dig in to his old programming more. If you find yourself going for that stoic cowboy, then you might become part of the problem. Please don’t do that to anyone, man or woman.

Men have to take the reins and make an effort to not perpetuate this programmed set of responses. Men need to support other men by not trying to shame other men for being tender, or sensitive. Men must learn to hold the line with their women they are with and call out any effort they make to imply that they aren’t being manly enough, with false equivalences. Yes, it will mean walking away from women who exhibit these behaviors, but don’t look back unless there is real awareness on their part and an exhibited desire to begin changing their own programmed views and responses. A woman like this is not worth losing you soul over.

That said, a woman has a potentially fantastic power over a man to disarm and beguile him. Men are known to do anything for the woman he loves. This means that if a man is with a woman who has healthy boundaries, is not herself tied to the old modes of what being manly is about, she can, through grace and a gentle hand, show him the way to her heart if that way harmonizes with his own innate humanity. No false expectations, no tough guy bullshit. Yes, we are tough because of how we are built, but our hearts are as tender as anyone else. The problem is, you wouldn’t know this to look at most men. I promise you that it is there. The soft touch with great patience is what is required. You also have to know that you sre suited for this kind of work.

It will take time, but each encouraging word and action will have an effect. We can change this, but it wont change by just being angry about it. We have to love ourselves back into our existence and never again fall prey to the false beliefs that got us here.

Imagine what it could do: men whose natural aggresiveness is expressed in a more natural way where that aggresiveness is no longer laced with anger and rage. Men who are more sensitive, and less controlling. A man with something to prove often lacks the necessay approval of himself and will go looking for its substitute which is approval from others. By teaching him not to trust his natural instincts, he will look to someone to supply him with the false instincts that so far hasn’t served them well. All of this can be turned around, a cosmic 180º turn, but it needs to be important enough to begin integrating new behaviors based in authentic emotion instead of our culturally foisted ones. I say this as a man who has been through it.

The way through is with real love, not a false sense of compassion or anger and upset over it. Lets get this done for our boys.

I’m an artist by profession and was trained in being good at observation. I have been involved in fairly technical media during my training and career, so I have spent a lot of time testing things for a wide range of results and insight. Like how long it takes on average to finish a surface in metal or glass in order to determine how long each step will take in the production of a piece that will get created many times. Having a good and dependable data set is critical to being able to know how to price work competitively, but also how to reduce flaws or problems that crop up. It is also a great way to understand all sorts of phenomena. Engineers will test new alloys in order to understand how it will weather, hold up under stresses, or finishing surfaces.

If you learn how not to bias yourself with what you think you are seeing, the data often will lead you right to the issue and you can then begin to formulate solutions from there.

Hang on, there, this does tie into spiritual or energetic work, I promise!

By my second year into awakening, I noticed that while I was having lots of synchronicities, I had this feeling like there was something more to them than met the eye. Was there a way to test this phenomena so I could learn more about it? It seemed reasonable to me!

I turned to observation to see if I could tease out any important details. My feeling about this phenomenon was that this wasn’t something the universe was sending me, like a message from the divine as I had heard others describe it. But what was it, if not that?

When you run high energy for days, weeks, months, and years at a time, you get lots of opportunities to observe it in action. I had reached various levels of what I learned was called samadhi.

I noticed one early Fall after I had broken my dreaded adrenal cycle experience that my energy hit new high vibrational peaks. I can only describe this as feeling different from how kundalini had been. It was just….high frequency is the only way I can describe it. I could feel it in my body, too, all this energy once used to fuel unacknowledged fear (expressed as 24/7 adrenaline for about five months solid), now being expressed as this new energetic feeling. I had released some repressed emotional material, along with learning how to regulate my system through the will for this “new” state I had finally reached.

This energy was fairly constant, but it would go away for a day, a week, or just an hour or two, so I had opportunities to see it at work under a variety of conditions. Who knows how it was going to go, except it was doing its work on me.

During this time I noticed when the energy got to a really high in frequency, I would begin having synchronicities. If the energy cut out, so too would the synchronicities. This was noticable as a cery different frequency, I could feel it as this shimmering energy instead of the old peak energy mixed with my body pumping out adrenaline.

“Hmmmmm,” I thought, “I wonder if the two are connected?” I considered the possibility that my energy was responsible for creating these events. It sounded reasonable to me. What had me a little fuzzled was how this worked. Like usual, I had ideas but needed ways to test them.

I continued to watch and observe. I would wake up one morning with a totally calm energetic landscape but would find by, say, mid-day that suddenly the energy would whir to life….and I’ll be darned if the synchronicities didn’t track right along with the energy. Coincidence or correlation? After observing this dozens of times with the result being the same each time, I felt that this was a correlation. Okay, that was most likely figured out. I had also noticed whenever I began feeling the energy awakening early on in my process I also noticed really bizarre synchronistic events taking place. So, yeah.

I then began thinking about the concept of manifestation, considering that this was very much like that principle but now on steroids. I wondered how I could test this idea? I considered that synchronicities were just how we ran our energy and that the universe was doing what it had always done, except now events were more clearly mirroring our thoughts.

I know that this sounds like a bit of a leap from seeing “11:11” or other number sequences, but my intuitive read on this was that seeing number sequences were the result of my simply not giving a direction to my thoughts. I reasoned that we all usually have these number events because we aren’t thinking about how we could direct out thoughts more. This was just my theory. It was time to try to gather some data.

In order for my theory to show any correlation to directional thought, I would have to experiment with that very thing. As I began doing this, I tried to envision outcomes stemming from my thoughts. I picked things that I knew I had few competing beliefs about since this has long been known as one element that can keep a wish or thought from coming to pass. I had to feel like there was no, “Yes, but” kind of thoughts present. I did this over about four months, often on a daily basis, depending on when the energy was peaking or strong.

I found that my old synchronicities dissapeared almost completely and began to be replaced with even more complicated series’ of events that, while synchronistic, were now providing me with much more information based on relevance to my own thoughts. This showed me that a synchronicity as we think of them can become much more complex than before.

I also began having events that would repeat, such as seeing a quote from a writer and then randomly seeing that author’s name coming up based in events for which I had no direct control over, all within a few hours of each other. I would then look up the quote in a book by that author only to find that the chapter in the book from whence the quote was mentioned would contain critically relevant information for the chapter in a book I was working on. I had numerous events like these, but with the caveat that each set of events were specific to a goal or wish that I had in mind. Maybe you have had experiences similar to this!

To put a fine point on this phenomenon, nearly all of the “research” that I did for this book was all gleaned as a result of synchronicities much like I have just described to you. The conditions were that I was engaged in the subject and really didn’t want to have to pour over books to find what I was looking for. That is, I dreaded having to do research the traditional trial and error way. This set up a parameter for how the events would take place. This, I think, was the direction given to my thoughts, which would manifest in these unbelievable events.

I began to realize that the books that came to me, whether randomly plucked from the library shelves and opened to the very page that contained the pertinent information, or from a friend who might innocently reference a book on the subject I was currently working on, the result was always the same. I was gleaning information that would have been nearly impossible for me to find in the way these events were doing. And yet, these events happened with considerable regularity. In truth, ALL of my outside research simply came to me in this inexplicable way. I know that some people on hearing this might say, “You were meant to find that one paragraph in that book!” But, I thought, what if the emphasis is on how our consciousness interfaces with reality, essentially creating an alignment based on your own thoughts? Yes, I do think there is an intelligence there, but if it is as objective as many want to think it is, why doesn’t it do more things for us that we don’t think about that are in our best interest? Do you see the difference, here?

Why doesn’t it save thise children in the school bus in Yemen that was instead blown up by a missile? Why didn’t it jump in and save the Jews during the Holocaust? Why didn’t it save me from a head-on collision four months ago? I’m fine, by the way, but I really wish the car wasn’t totalled! Do you get what I mean here? This was showing me that it was being driven by my own needs which I was thinking about, not some objective intelligence. I know, that might be a tad cerebral, but this is the kind of thing that fascinates me. And yes, I do split hairs!

Always there was an aspect universal to these events, which was that the information that I needed was not known to the person when they randomly mentioned a book relevant to my topic. If it was an event that didn’t involve another person, I was plucking books off the shelves and turning to the one page that had the information I was looking for.

The other side to all of this was a state in which I was either not thinking of finding the material or not having spoken about the information to the person who would mention a book on the same topic or a teacher who had information on the topic at hand. This still kept the “bizarre” aspect in place that is native to most synchronicities.

This experience showed me that synchronicities are little more than our ability to manifest outcomes by using a “field” based approach instead of a particle based approach. A field is consistent with “putting it out there” as an unencumbered wish or visualization, whereas a particle approach is more about trying to work to make an event happen a certain way. One wishes for an outcome but doesn’t think beyond how that will happen, while the other wishes for an event and tries to make it happen. Want to guess which one has been heads and shoulders above the other in both efficiency and usefulness?

I use these terms of particle stnd wave symbolically to refer to the two seemingly dualistic modes referred to in physics and electrical phenomena. One feels masculine and one feels feminine in character. Can you guess which one refers to which mode of “doer-ship”? Particle. Solid, concrete, following a rational systematic and liner approach. The other is much more mysterious and always seems to work with amazing accuracy and perfect timing.

The end result in my observation of this phenomenon is that it seems that our intention meshes with our reality and helps bring certain events to fruition at a speed that makes these events feel almost otherworldly. Can you relate?

Does prana work with our own thoughts to help create events like these on a shorter time scale than usual? I say this because awakening is certainly a change in the flow and awareness of prana (that is what kundalini is, a radical flow of vast amounts of prana).

I wanted to pass this along for anyone who has either had this happen or who wants to test it for themselves to see what results they get. I hope this adds a little new wrinkle to your day. ♡

(Copyright, Parker Stafford)

In my journey, the breakthrough that I made was in realizing the role of feeling in cosmic consciousness. I saw how backwards the world is. Instead of understanding feeling, we eschew this in favor of “thinking things through” or using the rational mind over the part of us that has the capacity to plumb the depths where the transcendental dwells.

We are taught to think but we are not taught to feel. We certainly are taught how to be emotional, but no one teaches or points to feeling as important (let alone superior to rational linear thought) because people are ignorant of what this means. This is like casting pearls before swine. No one sees its value and everyone is afraid of being criticized for such simple “thinking.”

Learning to feel is the most important thing you can do. It is what arouses the sleeping woman and man to life. It is what arouses kundalini, even. As you feel deeper, you open your consciousness to more energy. It can be analyzed, but not grasped by the rational self. It is so simple a child could do it, which is why those who do teach about it describe a simpler state or type of being to know more deeply. It isn’t fashionable by those who want to keep their grip on the cramped quarters of the rational, but it can in time can show you the superconscious side of you, a remarkable part of you that you have always been.

Using this part of you can confer peace (often gradually for most) because it is such a simple way to be. It is here, as the zen master Taishen Desimuru said that, “all the sand of the deserts flows through your hands.” You gain All by being simpler and quiet as you turn on your capacity to feel. This is different from emotion. It is a depth we all have.

By being in the rational mind we get confused by words. Here, in this video, Jiddu Krishnamurti answers a question about the existence of God. It isn’t until the 15:30 mark that he homes in on the important part of all experience. He isn’t talking about whether God exists at this point, but is pointing out how to BE in order to understand the world and consciousness.

When he says “word is not that” he means you have to move out of the thinking mind full of ideas about things and move to the part of you that loves with all of your heart and being. That gives your consciousness the means to take a word like “tree” and enter the place within that connects with the tree being discussed. Of course this can happen if you allow yourself to do it. He is saying, you must turn to this other part that is in you to know these things. You have to turn to your feeling self, your capacity to FEEL. And THAT is the simple but potent door that we open ourselves to the All. Here is the video…

Someone recently asked me for a meditation technique which I have written about in the past, but during a search for it I realized it might be easier to have it be at the top of the blog roll.

This is a gentle and healing method that is very simple and was passed on to me from an old friend just before awakening took hold. It was in fact one of several types of meditations that I used that helped to train my mind in how to trigger and sink into the part of our awareness where we process cosmic consciousness in the brain. This is the right brain, and to utilize its native focus requires a big shift in your awareness which I will describe to you as a potential outcome of this method.

It is my experience that this method can be an important prelude to awakening, but there also needs to be several other parts added in order to more fully prepare the energy body for this significant change that can take place once you are properly prepared. This technique is gentle so anyone can do it in order to learn about their powers of consciousness.

To begin, you should pick a time when you can be both relaxed but alert. I have always meditated before bedtime because my body was already trained to become deeply relaxed, a precursor for all meditation work. In Buddhism this is often done very early in the morning and it is done consistently, again, because the body will in time slip more easily into these deep states of calm. I will go to bed early so that I am less prone to just fall asleep. I also like having a quiet house and dim or even darkness to cut out any distractions. You might have times that work just as well with you that are different from how I do it. Do what works for you.

You can sit or you can lie down. Just be in a relaxed position. Place your hands together like you are praying. Do you ever wonder why so many traditions use placing the hands together? Could it be that it helps to bring the mind together in a unified way energetically?

I want you to imagine getting very small and standing in the crevices and grooves of where your hands come together and to focus only on your hands. Feel your hands and keep your focus on them and try to eliminate all thought reactions for as long as you can. You can start with doing breathwork if it helps to settle you and quiet your mind. Long deep breaths, focusing on just your breathing, works wonders for calming and quieting the mind. Breathe deep and long and hold the breath for at least three seconds, four or five might work even better…just don’t do it for so long that it makes you deel out of breath.

So here you are, focused on your hands. Just do that. Settle in. Eventually, your mind might wander, but don’t be upset with yourself. Just bring your awareness back to your hands again. Doing this will slowly train you to have longer periods where you are focused on just your hands and fingers. This is an important first step. Feel and focus on the place where your hands touch. Very simple.

You need to do this meditation for at least two weeks each day in order to see any benefits or results. This takes time in order for the right kind of shift to work within.

Over time, maybe quickly, you will notice that you might move from your usual awareness to an awareness where you lose your focus of self. I liken this to how we dream. We often aren’t aware of ourselves in quite the same way when dreaming. It is slightly….defocused. Have you ever been drifting off to sleep but found yourself suddenly in a kind of blank state, perfectly quiet, but you ask yourself “where am I?” only to jerk back to waking consciousness? This meditation will assist you in cultivating that awareness by letting your mind go blank for periods of time. This is the beginning of the shift I am relating to you.

This state is not a normal observer state and any effort to bring ego awareness into it will break the wave of awareness and any phenomenon that might be arising. This is not your “doer” consciousness, this is almost like dreaming consciousness. It works very differently than your waking awareness does.

Now you might begin having small dreams or visions with this method. Just observe and don’t judge. As you sit or lie with your hands together, just keep your awareness on the space between your hands. Being able to not disrupt the flow of phenomena is itself the challenge of this method.

I know how simple this method is, but it is hard because of how spare it is. It must be, in order to train you to shift awareness, but all the while it is also cycling your energy back into your system through joining the hands together.

It is important to be quiet in your thoughts so the energy can do its work. Its possible to experience a state of presence which is largely devoid of a need to think. If you are familiar with this state I am mentioning, you can use it here. Often we feel this state only fleetingly, but its time base can be stretched so that it lasts longer. Don’t worry if you can only hold this for short periods, this isn’t a race! And if you are unable to do this, concentrate on your hands and put your attention there.

Twenty minutes a day will work for this method, but it is even better if you can go forty minutes or an hour. Do what you can and start with where you are. We are all different.

In time, you will notice things happening. What exactly, I wont say because it can be different for each person, but know that this method is very healing.

Pay attention to your dreams during this time and see if you notice any changes. Do you notice any changes during the day? During the meditation being able to hold on to that state of nonlinear being which is the feeling nonverbal self is key. This part of you can begin to come forward and with it some very interesting things. When I say “feeling” I don’t mean your emotions. I mean your capacity to feel and to feel deeply.

The important thing is to not try and use your rational observer mind during this, but the part of you that sees but does not critically examine and think the way you usually do while awake. I know this might sound impossible to do, but give it a try and don’t worry whether you feel like you aren’t catching on fast. We are each unique and different.

If things start to happen, it just means that it is working well for you. If anything comes up that seems odd or alarming, don’t judge it, never judge, just watch it and observe with curiosity and interest, but let it pass as it does naturally. And if you wind up experiencing something that you don’t understand or are confused by, feel free to leave me a comment. I can see your comments before they get published so if its personal I can not publish your comment and then leave a comment of my own that answers your question. But most of what people experience wont be earth shattering or private, so I welcome your comments or questions.

Now as an aside, once you begin, you want to carry through each day with this meditation for at least two weeks. You will need to give it an opportunity to work its magic. If after the first week you feel like you are getting nowhere, simply stop. It might not be a good match for where you are. But if given time, this method tends to bring very good results when applied in the way described. If this method works for you, you can do the meditation while standing in line at a store by placing just a few fingers together. This helps to concentrate the energy in your body in a very particular way!

As an adjunct to this meditation, being able to learn what your biggest hot button issues are and do the work to bring energy to those places where they normally reside in your body will assist this work later for stimulating a more gradual opening to awakening. Choose something you can do, that is easy enough for you to deal with but that has dogged you most of your life. These are blocks and they impede the flow of this energy that is behind awakening.

For example, whenever you feel your stomach tighten or your heart cramped, these are signs of blocked energy in the body. Learning to know how to release them opens the light body to a better flow of prana or qi (chi). When you remove what divides you, you open yourself more and more to the flow of energy tied to awakening or kundalini. Go slow, take it easy, but also engage your intuition. Going at this with fear is not the way. You need to cultivate trust in the energy. While the energy is strong, stronger than you, it wont ever hurt or harm but seek to heal you even more, even if it all seems a bit much.

Have fun and let me know how it goes!

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Sunset over St Marks Nature Preserve, Wakulla County Florida. Copyright Parker Stafford 2018

 

Several years ago I decided to interview people who had experienced awakening for inclusion on this blog.  This was an effort to help bring the perspective of those who have experienced the phenomenon to the fore in order to help others who have gone through this life changing event to gain perspective, understanding, and perhaps greater awareness. I have recently published two of those interviews and they have been given their own page which are located under the header at the top of the page.

 

It is hard to know how much awakening can change your life.  It is like a quantum leap into the unknown.  It is bewildering.  It crowns just as it crucifies.  Navigating it is at once easy, difficult, with old rules now completely out the window.  It leaves many feeling scattered to the four winds sometimes, and yet it is also a saving grace.  It is powerful medicine.  Many awaken without a background in any philosophy or religion to provide a framework for the experience.  My sense, as it was perhaps my own experience, that we have much more to learn from awakening when we don’t have those frameworks in place. This is for the simple reason that we face the phenomenon without preconceived notions of what it is that we are experiencing.  We don’t get “captured” by the “rules” of other groups who, I note, have been unable to glimpse the larger potential that awakening offers us. While the experience happens in every culture and corner of the world, there is also a rising tide within the Christian church, factions of it, who would paint this as an inauthentic experience, what is called a “counterfeit spirit.”  Sadly, there are those who would resist the universality of this experience and they do so out of nothing more than ignorance.  The only way to deal with ignorance is with education, with information, and with what we find to be true (rather than what we believe) from direct experience.

 

There are plenty of frameworks that do speak of awakening and many of them wind up, for me at least, to include just as much belief as they include factual information, which to my mind makes it a mixed bag.  To know the truth, it seems, we have to go beyond what the masses are saying about it in order to learn to trust our own experience.  This is a lonely proposition and can put us at odds with the mainstream (like Advaita or Neoadvaita for example).  While awakening has very specific symptoms and signs, it leads us to an awareness that places us in a whole new kind of mind and heart space.  This can be a lonely road for many of us.  The interviews reminds you that you are not alone, that you are part of what appears to be a growing number of people waking up all around the same time frame.  Curious, perhaps purposeful, we can each learn from each other.  This is my hope.

 

My hope,too, is that we can build a library of these interviews for the assistance of anyone wanting to learn more about the experience, be they curious or an “experiencer” themselves.  If you have had an awakening and would like to add your voice to the chorus, your interview is welcome here.  Interviews are kept anonymous if you wish, but very real people are behind them.  You can simply respond in the comments section and I will arrange to receive your answers to the questions (which are just a jumping-off point) for inclusion here.  I am interested in whatever insight that you feel that you have, regardless of what others may say about awakening (or even myself) because we all have a lot to learn.

Prior to 1910, many hospitals in the U.S. which were homeopathic practiced various forms of energy therapy. Many of these devices, which were powered by batteries or handheld generators had questionable efficacy, while some applications were found to have therapeutic effects. By 1910, however, both John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie sponsored a study which they presented to Congress that they hoped would lead to making these therapies illegal to practice in the States.

It is important to point out here that both Rockefeller and Carnegie were investing in a new medical treatment which we now call pharmaceuticals. Full disclosure.

The study that they sponsored was called the Flexner Report. At this time there were thirteen homeopathic medical schools in the U.S. and these were closed down as a result of this report being presented to Congress. The report called for anyone practicing energy medicine or who claimed that there was energy in the body to not receive federal money for research and also to be jailed. Thus, our awareness about energy medicine was shuttered and only certain therapies were allowed, which is reflected in an object-based philosophy wereby the body is seen as a machine that needs chemistry or surgery to get better (like how you might fix a car). This remained the prevailing method for treatment for the majority of the century. [1]

It wasn’t until President Richard Nixon went to China and had his people traveling with him responding to acupuncture that he called for the Federal government to adopt this as an accepted form of therapy in the United States. This was in the early 1970’s. Slowly, this form of energy medicine has made its way into doctors offices, hospitals and clinics in the U.S.

Unfortunately our understanding of energy medicine has been set back by about 60 years. We are, however, making up for lost time with the use of numerous healing modalities that help to support and even reverse bad energetic states in the body.

This type of knowledge is within the grasp of anyone who us able to create the correct cognitive bridge between our ability to sense energy and our brain’s ability to translate that information into a sensory format that will bring this sensing into conscious awareness. I can say this with this level of certainty because I have done it myself. Whether it is seeing this energy as a field around the body in the case of seeing or reading auras or feeling them, the result is the same; one can see the whole self reflected in this body of energy. When the Hindus say that the pranamayakosha has five sheaths, they are describing the human aura which expresses the physical state, emotional, mental, spiritual, and prana-based state or body all in one vibrant matrix seen as a light around the body.

For the last 36 years I have seen, sensed, and studied this energy field because of my own experiences with it. Everyone can do this, but the means for how to do so is out of the reach of most people due to their beliefs, their lack of willingness to explore this part of themselves and to know a few very simple exercises that can be used to bring these abilities to the fore.

I can say without a doubt that while some energy comes from all around us (prana ) prana stimulates and can modulate the electrical potential in the body…within limits. It impacts the endochrine system, brings broader awareness, and even new abilities when raised to the level as seen with an awakening of kundalini which is a pranic event and condition of significant magnitude.

The problem with traditional medicine right now is that it still largely deals with the body as a machine absent this energetic component. However, by adding an understanding of body chemistry governs acid or base states in the body and how these states have an effect on how electricity is handled in it, we can begin to improve our understanding, knowledge base, as well as medical outcomes significantly by helping to support the right levels in our bodies that leads to a more balanced system.

The chemistry of fear, for instance, can create strong acid states which in turn lowers the electrical potential in the body because it is now known that alkaline states best convey the electrical currents necessary for good health.

It remains true that the current carrying lines called meridians as understood in Chinese Medicine are involved in helping to maintain health in the body. Whenever the energy in a part of the body is not producing or receiving energy correctly (some areas produce energy while other parts are blocking this flow electrochemicallt), ill health results.

By understanding the role that alkaline states have in carrying current, we can begin to learn how to support the right kind of physical chemistry for proper energy transfer in the body. Additionally, current in the body can be changed by applying the correct millivoltage range along the correct meridian point in order to correct bad current states in the body. Today, we have these devices which will reorient the energy lines to a correct energetic polarity. By using a transducer, alternative medicine is able to correct problems that could result in disease later by providing the correct amount of electricity needed for the body which resets the system and gets it operating correctly again.

This begs the question that if an electrical device can do this, can the touch of a healer do the same? My observation with healers and those who work with energy is yes. Effectively, what we all sense happening when healing touch is used, is that the energy body of the patient is being entrained by the energy body of the healer. This entrainment is the very same as a person taking up the “vibe” of another person and feeling better because their energy is charged with the right electrical potential. This is sympathetic vibration. The vibration needs to be “right” in order for a reset in the patient to occurr.

This is why I have written so much about how important it is for healers to be as clear from stored emotional energy as possible because the energy body transmits vast amounts of data, and as a patient you do not want to be receiving an imprint from a healer who isn’t as completely healed as possible.

In aboriginal cultures the healer was him or herself the most healed person in the group. They learned how to be a channel for energy which was used for helping to correct a host of problems which often were energetic in nature. As is most often the case, a healers unhealed part will also be present in the patient, which seems odd but is most often the case and has to do with how the law of attraction works.

Luckily, many issues can be corrected by understanding the role of current in the body and then using microvoltages to the right part of the body. Jerry Tennant is doing the right kind of research in this area in order to develop sound therapies using electricity. He is coupling this work with the meridians and an understanding of how energetic potential gets disrupted in the body.

Lastly, it has been found that your own electrical potential is tied to your emotional state and this has a result on whether your system is properly charged at the correct voltage. Your emotional state helps to regulate your energy state.

Everything you believe is the world making you feel a certain way and is just you feeling and responding from a place that is constituted by your own inner dialog of beliefs about what you think the world is all about (and everything in it- people and their actions as well as events and everything else in the world).

I have spent a lifetime sensing energy. I did this as a result of an inner sense that awakened in me when I was much younger. Its been 35 years now, and I have collected a vast amount of observational data about this inner sense, and a majority of it has been checked to see if what was seen energetically has a basis in that person’s real life (the person being read). The result has been consistently accurate observations.

Through decades of this awareness I found that my gift afforded me an objective reality about how things were as it has been expressed energetically through people and their inner light. When I awakened two decades later, what I found was that while the feeling side of my inner sensing trebled with awakening, I was also reacting to energy in a much less objective way. A sudden turnabout!

I used to think that I felt everyone’s energy in the early days of my awakening when I was experiencing what I thought was a bewildering barrage of energy. What I found was that no, I actually was not doing that. I was only able to determine this through observing many cases of my own reaction to these energetic reactions. Most people I have spoken to about this topic of feeling other people’s energy, and its clear to me that everyone believes they are accurately feeling everyone’s energy. What’s actually happening, in my experience, is a large part of what this post is about….which is how subjective our inner senses can become.

Let me try and explain how this works. First, we do feel energy from others internally, brought to us courtesy of at least a degree of nonduality. Nonduality is what allows us to feel the energy of another person in my observation. Nonduality means “no other” and helps express a fundamental character of consciousness that allows us,to perceive life as utterly connected with everything. A result of this state is that we can feel the energetic state of another as if its our own. We may in fact be feeling the energy directly and even accurately at the outset. But then once that is done, everyone begins to distort that energy right away simply by adding their own reaction to the energy experience. I say this because I have done it and I have observed up close others I have known doing it also. In one case a person I knew who believed she was an empath described my energy in a way that it became clear that she was experiencing her own energetic state and not my own. How’s that for taking projection to a whole new level?

A person with a clear connection to high-order energy through the higher self can be picked up by another person and interpreted in highly distorted ways, such as fear-based reactions which is the most common reaction it seems. Yes, we can sense others’ energy, bit sadly most of my boots on the ground experience has shown me that a large part of it has been distorted or filtered through a persons own inner biases or worldview (yes really). Its a state that has led me to being single and uninterested in relationships with people who claim awakening. No thank you, not until you have your shit worked through.

I have actually seen a person try to make me into a stand-in for a person that the individual sensing me knew decades in the past who had abused that person. This then resulted in an assumption that I was also an abuser even though no abuse had occurred. This sounds crazy, but this gets even stranger, and it helps to show how a person distorts the truth that is right in front of them. Adding the idea that they are awakened only makes that person even more delusional. It results in those prone to emotional dishonesty to further delude themselves by thinking because they awoke no way their perceptions could be wrong! Right? These are the things train wrecks are made of.

This person went on to allege that I was assaulting my students sexually. I can’t begin to tell you how scary it is to be caught up in a lie like this. For men wrongfully accused, the public treats this kind of accusation as the truth first (its because people overwhelmingly have a bias that makes them think why would a woman lie about something like this?). Add to that that this person was involved in fielding complaints from students as well as faculty and staff at the school where I teach, and what you have is very effective cover for a person who is seeking to destroy someone, like me, for trivial reasons. Yes, it actually happened just like this. When I confronted this person she said that she had a right to free speech, effectively defending her supposed right to say anything she wanted to say…even if it was a lie as well as a subversion of an oath she made professionally when she began this type of work. Really. Imagine being railroaded by something like this! And no, the accusation was not true in the least. I have never behaved in a way anywhere near to approaching sexual harrassment or assault (her words were “assault”). If this had been the case, I would have been fired from my job years ago. Instead, I continued to teach and was kept in after the curriculum changed that ended the classes that i taught. I was told that I was an asset to the department and I went on to teach graduate courses and other course material tangentially related to my field. My evaluations from my students were all in the excellent range all but my first year teaching (I was a green teacher at first!). I continued to teach until voluntarily stepping down in order to pursue my studio business full time two years ago. I never once had a single discipkinary action taken against me related to sexual harrassment or assault as had been alleged by this person. Its hard, though, when people will believe a lie before the truth, but this is the unfortunate case in our culture. Women have and continue to smear men with accusations such as these. ..and we believe them. We believed the story in Rolling Stone a few years back until it was revealed that the story had in fact been made up. Meanwhile, the male students caught in this deception had their lives and reputations ruined.

One more aspect needs to be added here. I copied and archived all of these accusations when I began to see that they were happening. The accusation this person made stated that I was insinuating myself into others energy simply because I could and because of my being awakened. These accusations were full of paranoid suppositions and assertions that were designed to scare the crap out of a person reading it. It probably made for dramatic reading, but none of it was true.

The reality? The reality is that when I read an article that I think is insightful I often comment on it if I have the time to do so. At no point do I somehow glomb onto another person’s energy. In my experience, these kinds of energetic events that this person was saying I was engaged in were for me events that were rare and hapoened spontaneously (both felt the energy and both embraced it in a consenting fashion). In my life I have experienced the “twin soul” phenomenon and have experienced three connections that were of this order of magnitude. The person in question was one of these people.

The Take away from this experience was that people absolutely can, and do, completely get it wrong and do so on a regular basis. In my case maybe you could say God-Source was trying to get my attention with an uncredibly overblown example of just how far people can and do get tjings wrong that they “feel” about another person. And maybe, too, part of the take away was for me to be able to see the abuse of power that people engage in on a daily basis in state and governmental institutions every day. The pount here, this person backed all of this up with “I know this because I am an empath.”

When I look at the daily news about Russia-gate for example, I see this very same quality of human mayure at work. I was jyst watching interviews with Bill Binney, an NSA whistleblower who first revealed how the government was spying on the American peoole prior to 911. He has shown through careful analysis that all of the assertions made about the Gussifer attack is false. The consequences involve Mueller being in posession of classified documents from the NSA for which he has zero clearance for and which is a felony and may actually run afoul of the espionage act. Really. But where on the news have you heard this startling revelation? Nowhere except independent sources not beholden to higher corrupt powers. Meanwhile, people who believe that yhe msinstream media is an unimpeachable source to be trusted buy into the lie and we are carried along on the current, and consequences, of that lie. As result the lie has to be supported, told over and over, which naturally leads to still more lies (or you get found out as a liar). This is the problem; too much pride to admit you were in the wrong or that you sought to deceive.

All of this stems from energy a person feels and then turned into an elaborate and convoluted lie that went on for years. Can we distort the energy as we feel it inside of ourselves? Absolutely! There is what is andvthen there is our reaction to what is. Those, dear reader, are two compleyely different realities very often. Most often. In fact, im not sure I have never encountered a completely clear channel that didn’t “futz” with the data coming through them. We are like stained glass windows always coloring the pure white light coming through us. So yes, it happens. It even happens to me. But what I do is I try to learn from it by getting down into the underlying source of the problem. This is no mean task because it has taken me years in some cases to dig down bto the roots in order to reveal them and lay the axe to them.

Over the years I have found that in the three cases where I had a strong connection to other people, there were patterns related to how we were drawn together. Some were karmic but one was not. When I feel the energy of another person I can now learn a lot about where I am in my own inner process by how I respind energetically to them. To do this requires me to be aware that there is even a reaction going on. Its actually very easy, deceptively easy, to miss the part where you are creating a reaction. This reaction turns into a feeling and the feeling gets turned into a judgement. All of this happens so fast, so effortlessly, that its seemingly impossible to catch that its even happening.

The best way to tell if what I’m telling you is the truth is to do the work and see if you can catch what I have caught in upur day yo day interactions with people or events. You have to be able to bring the Observer or Witness self into the equation in order to properly observe this tendency in us. This is a very neutral part of yourself. Highly mental people have a harder time getting to open to it than others who are more intuitive. It might also be achieved by asking simple questions of people who all saw or experienced the same event. The key is in asking non-leading questions that elicit honest responses and then look at what you get.

This is a bit of a digression, but its important to show how our individual belief and bias forms our reality inside our heafs and even our hearts.

I only responded to energy that had a ressonant frequency that was either the same or opposite of my own. I could turn on my inner energy sensing of the human energy field, read an aura, see all aspects present in a person, but all of it was without feeling. I saw as one would see a bird, a tree, or a stone. Simple. When I felt like I was really feeling another, I was mostly responding to something similar in myself. In other cases, I would feel an opposite or complimentary energy of feeling. The issue that I never saw at first was that I wasn’t really responding and feeling their energy, I was only responding to how I felt about that person and their energy…or even sometines only one small element or aspect in that person.

Lets say I had a bad experience with a person whose energy feels expansive. After that, I might haveca bad association to anyone whose energy is expansive, say. But all of the people downstream from that initial event may in fact have been perfectly fine people who dont show a disregard for others, say. In my mind, though, my fear takes the day and rules over it. I feel fear and it makes me think I am feeling genuine fear about that person in my presrnt moment who just reminds me of this person from years ago. At this point, Im now caught in a feeling and because I believe my insights are always right, I buy into my feeling. I might buy into it so much that create lies that i tell about a person much like happened to me. Since this kind of behavior is hard for me to relate to, its hard for me to always understand what the motivating factor is for some people. Maybe its because the motivating factor is always different for each person….and that makes it hard for me to relate to or to understand? Perhaps.

So in my experience, whenever i was engaged in this type of interpretive behavior, I effectively was cherry picking what I was feeling….and my own response to another person was only my response. I brought my own judgements, ideas, and biases about whatever it was into the moment. I have had conversations with healers, some quite gifted, and while they have picked up on a host of very valid things in regards to their clients, choosing to feel a certain way has always been a very personal affair. What Im saying is we can’t ever really know how a person feels about what it is that they might be feeling. You might think that no, we all feel the same way, but you would be wrong I think.

I have had feelings picked up by healers or empathic people that didnt bear on me at all….but they picked up on it not because it was a prominent aspect of my own inner landscape, but they were picking it out from a lineup of many other elements because it stuck out for them.

Its hard to be completely clear as a healer. A number of years ago I had a reading by this man who said to me that I came here to go into the healing arts. I said that my inner guidance had told me that I needed to work on me first in order to be as clear and thus as neutral as possible before I did healing work.

In Native American healing arts the most healed person in the tribe was the healer most often. They were a healer for the very reason that they were neutral. Because they didn’t carry a wound like your own was precisely the reason why they were so good at healing you. They were able to go right into the energy and supplant their own energy as a ressonant field or realm of influence that the patient’s own energy would naturally atune itself to. This is what I call entrainment. By holding a vibration strongly and clearly enough, others naturally come into the same vibration as you…provided that they consent and are open and ready for it.

Bring an unhealed energy into the same healing session and its probable that nit only wont you heal that person, you will only make their issues worse by sending them into the wrong direction. As a result, its very important to either be a clear channel or use healing methods that don’t even bring feeling into it. You could very easily be injecting what it is your thinking about a client rather than what is. The man conducting my reading went on to explain that I would achieve this clarity by beginning to learn methods for healing. Perhaps he was right, and as a result of this I decided to learn about a healing modality called Reiki Tummo.

I found after years of digging deep and systematically clearing my field that some things eluded me. Reiki Tummo provided a timely method for reaching into a place that I had felt stuck on in my clearing process. I also found that people who I thought the universe had sent along the way as teachers or catalysts usually only served to bring up old junk that could best be healed in a solitary way. Some people even served as a retrograding force. Some woukd call these people mirrors but what I found was that no, they were all seeing their own junk in their own way, often while wanting to project the stuff that they couldn’t face up to themselves onto others. This is like being in a tar pit and not really wanting out even though you are thrashing around acting like you are. Instead, the person just wants you dragged down into the tar with them. They just need love and some sympathy but they also need a good dose of self reliance, a belief in themselves instead of relying on others to do the work that is only theirs to do. Beware the tar pit people!

Do your work, remain humble, seek what is true and expect to be human all the way…but also expect the higher self to have more and more purchase in you for helping you to move mountains. It is possible if you cultivate a sense of devotion to those forces in you that can bring powerful healing much like how a miracle comes. Sudden…almost unexpectedly.

Everything you feel about others remains full of your own inner biases. It isn’t as though you can’t know things, it’s that in such close quarters its hard to see what is truly theirs and what is yours. So be slow to judge, and be observant. Sometimes it is more about you than you might care to admit. I’ll admit that this is so for me. The yoke will grow easy.

I am a work in progress. Will this observation be superceded by a still clearer version of the truth…time will tell. Until later….

I have been so busy. A new direction and new work, so much to do, so little time. From my drafts vault. Enjoy, lovelies! Spring is close!!


COPYRIGHT, Stafford Art Glass

Let reason go. Turn to cosmic mind, the ineffable state, what we have called She, our feminine side. Here, reason must be lain aside. Quiet your mind. Calm body. Return to the primordial state…to that before pretense began. By abandoning this part of the mind, the rational and reasoning mind, a much larger one can be felt and utilized. A great teacher emerges who is the best of your teachers. The teacher resides in the center of your chest. It can bloom like flowers in Spring and are just as beautiful.

I experienced awakening as the rise of two energies that later joined in pure union to give birth to a transcendent state of being, a sacred third. I saw how this was a trinity. It took years to tease its secrets out. That alone led me to a great discovery and uncovered my roots in the past within esoteric Christianity in the early fourth century A.D. I lived then and was responsible for hiding documents that would have otherwise been destroyed by the creators of “orthodoxy” which was known as a great lie, but it had the big guns, the power, the money, the control. We were heretics and we were run out from every corner and center. It is how things are here; people prefer the lie than the truth.

For me, I experienced the mystic Trinity as originally intended. It’s heresy now. My how things have changed. For me, the Teacher is the Christ within. It creates awareness so that I can find problem areas where the presence will bring them up and heal them…an unwinding process of sorts. I enter by way of ecstacy. What remains I offer up to the Source of all life.

Somehow, for whatever reason, I have come to a place where devotional practice feels magnificent to my heart. It short circuits a desire to control things and as a result, leaves only what I can change or effect now. I continue offering up what remains in me to be finally taken into the light. There is a trigger for this one; I am confident that in time it will be found, felt, known. In finding that In attracting highly devoted people to me who are themselves very devoted, heart centered, and hard at work on coming closer to the divine within.

No one can truly know your journey. As a result, its important that if you walk this kind of path that you have people who love and respect what you must do on your journey. Life is too short to swim in waters that lack this love, forebearance, and understanding. I came to see how others painted their own troubles into my life. I once met someone who was convinced they knew me in the South in the 1800’s. The inner teacher had shown me, years before, how I had a life at that time that was completely different from their supposed memory. The quiet moral is we often make our inner struggles the subject of projections because the truth is not yet available to them at the time. Always trust your instincts but be careful when strong emotion plays around difficulties emotionally because here is where projections happen. Listen to the Teacher within.

You know, I have found when I need an answer I can ask my heart. I can feel it give a thumbs up or down depending on the answer. It’s like….a dowsing rod. You get used to feeling the answers come this way and you get used to what a “yes” feels like was opposed to a “no” answer. You can feel it in your field. You must get quiet in order to hear it at first. If you learn how to tune this in you have access to something that is impossible for anyone to lie and it not be not known. There is a part of you at least that knows the truth. I say water that seed and let it grow and flourish inside of you. You will be at odds with the world but you will have a much better world living inside of you.

Who could believe this except yourself? Why expect anyone to understand? It is a juicy secret between you and the universe. Beyond scripture lies the truth…which is beaten up with pages missing….too many edits and messing with the text. The Teacher is from the immovable race. It lies in truth within your heart.

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