Archives for the month of: December, 2020

What happens when you begin to develop a capacity to recall past lives? In my case, when I had enough details from some lifetimes, I began to see patterns from one life to another. Normally, the lives I have lived are of people unknown to history. Over the last few years I have had clear enough recall to be able to pinpoint two lives known to history. I include this post for those of you with an interest in this type of inquiry. It is possible, with some research, to sometimes find lives that have been known through historical accounts.

A few years ago, after having a conversation with someone who I didn’t know in this life but who I had had a dream about, someone who I had correspondence with, I later experienced seeing a scene emerge that I knew was from a very ancient lifetime that involved this person. What was interesting about this experience was how clear and crisp the images were. I was able, by feeling into it, to tease out details that I “just knew” about but didn’t know how or why I knew them. This experience was a lot like putting together a puzzle. Instead of trying to “push the river” on digging stuff up, and risking possibly making something up in the process, I found myself just feeling into it and then letting myself being led into the experience.

When I say I was “feeling into it” I will explain that this is a particular form of “thinking” that requires me to be (1) very honest with myself and (2) careful that I am truly feeling instead of fabricating something. This isn’t about using emotion though. Instead it is based on the awareness that our capacity to feel can lead to realization. I think many people might have a hard time with this because most tend to discount their feeling side, or think it is inconsequential. It isn’t. Also, the more clearing work that you do, the more you open up this side of your preceptual awareness in order to better see just what is there. That said, on to what I first began to see.

I stood in a room that was a bedroom chamber. The room was made of stone with hewn timbers in the roof. Near the head of the bed there was a window. I looked out with wooden shutters which were pulled to the side that opened to the bright warmth of the day. Looking into a courtyard I saw flowers and shrubs below. This was, though, desert country. I knew those plants were there because water was fed to them. They would not have survived without daily care, not in that sun, not in this dry land. Looking out that window, I saw I was at least two stories up from the ground. I knew that this building belonged to someone who was of high status because the homes for most people were single-story buildings, made of brick or stone.

As I stood in this space, I was immediately aware of a woman who was my wife. She was tall and willowy. Her hair was kept and fell around her shoulders in tight curls. When I saw her I recognized her as the person who I had had a series of conversations with previously. She wore what looked like a dress, but this dress went from shoulder to foot and it highlighted her height. Me, on the other hand, was another story. While she was refined and well kept, I was stocky, short even, with dark curly hair and beard. The word “bull” came into my mind. I was, I knew, much like a bull. I was strong, stocky….and as I saw myself, a clear realization came into my mind: I was a general who served a king. I was aware of my “office” which was a hive of activity. It was located a ways off from where I stood. A general….but who?

I thought about how this man looked. He wasn’t Egyptian. Not Greek. Not Jewish. Not Arab or Turk. Not Persian. I kept going through my mental rollodex and ended at Babylonian. Over and over it kept coming back to that. Babylonian? Huh….

Fast forward a couple of years, and as a result of having had an experience that emerged in the wake of my having had a regression this past Summer which I wrote about several months ago, I had an unexpected outcome afterwards. This gets a bit unusual, but hang on for a bit. In this experience, I was having a conversation with an ET who I had a dream about in the early 1990’s. In this case, the ET was unlike any ET I have heard any description of. It wasn’t the typical “grey” or any other ET race I have read about people describing. While the being was the “five-point star” configuration of two arms, feet and a head (humanoid), her skin was not at all like ours, but had the look of burnt marshmallow. Her eyes were golden and the pupils were of different shape. Her head had a curious extrusion-effect along the forehead that made her head like that of a hammerhead shark (but nowhere near as much as a hammerhead). We had been talking and she was sitting in my living room, pointing to the sky explaining that she had to return from where she had come. I was hoping to get into this dream during my regression this past Summer, but it turned out we were only able to cover one early dream during that first session. As a result, my mind thought about this encounter because I wondered what the source of that dream might have been. Having read a few books on the abduction phenomenon I was aware that many abductees first had dreams as a clue that something larger was happening in their lives.

It was a curious time because not long after this dream encounter, I awoke one morning to find that my feet looked like I had been taken out of the house at night. My feet were visibly scratched like I had been dragged through a gravel parking lot. I had grass stains on the sides of my feet. The stains were fresh. The nails on my toes had also been scratched. I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart racing, wondering what on earth had happened. There was no memory of what had transpired. I searched my memory and knew that I had not been out the day before or even weeks before barefoot. I had showered the night before. Seeing this was one of those very odd things that didn’t fit and that odd puzzle piece kept screaming at me as if it didn’t belong. It was also one of the chief reasons why I decided to see a trained hypnotherapist. There was no blood and I wouldn’t say it looked like a struggle. I began to attempt contact not long ago in my present day to see if doing so might yield some answers. It was a bit of an experiment, but I considered that in all of the ET lore, beings who have become interstellar all seem to communicate through telepathy. This was a very easy way to get around the issue of different languages and since telepathy has shown to not be held to the same laws that a radio signal has (going at the speed of light and taking tens or hundreds of thousands of years to reach its target), I considered that this was worth a try at least to see if anything came of it.

It was quite the surprise when I tried this, because I was immediately in a space with that being again and what took place was…bizarre. Instead of it being a case of a cagey alien keeping its cards close to its chest, this being was incredibly forthcoming. She immediately recognized me when I reached out to attempt contact, and as I found myself suddenly in her space, which looked like a giant hangar, she did this thing where she looked down at the ground, stopping dead in her tracks, and took in a deep breath and then looked straight at me. It was just like how you might expect someone to react who hadn’t seen you in over twenty years. The reason why I am mentioning this encounter is that this being said during our conversation that she had a counterpart alive on earth and she said that I even knew this person. Now I had a moment where I did a double-take. “On earth?” I asked. “Yes…” and she brought up the image of this person and it this was the person who I had been in contact with about two years ago and who I had remembered I had had a life in Babylon with. While our exchange was not pertinent to the Babylonian life, what the being told me I passed on to my friend later, contacting her after a few years of having been out of contact. This was the bizarre part….The being explained that she was a “commander” of a small fleet of ships and did a number of different things that involved trade and shipping, essentially. When I told my friend about this she said that she had a memory of having been an ET in another life who was a “commander” in just the way that the ET had described. So it seems once you go down that rabbit hole, it gets a bit unusual.

Time had passed, two years, and since then I have had a number of releases take place. I think as a result, one night not long ago when I walked into the studio, I found the same scene of that bedroom rise up around me, probably because of our conversation two weeks earlier. This time, as I looked at that same window and the bed nearby, I heard clearly….”He was a general….who became king.” A flurry of thoughts played through my mind at this point. I realized or knew that whoever this man was, his being crowned king after being a general made the events surrounding his ascendancy to a throne a rare one….because when have you heard of generals becoming king in any culture? Most cultures with kings meant you had to be in the family. This man wasn’t. Now, two years later, a whole new wrinkle emerged that wasn’t available to me previously. I mention this because it may help you to see how “doing the work” can have other ramifications, like better recall.

I had several more details stream in in the wake of this new realization. I saw a wrought iron “keeper” that was used to hold the shutters open. This detail was in the shape of what I recognized was the seed of anise. Additionally I knew that we were involved in a practice known as Heiros Gamos, the union of God and Goddess. This practice was understood by the people to be tied to our own creative energy and when this union took place the opposites merging resulted in powerful and potent forms of manifesting. In this culture, they used this for good crops. It was desert country. These people understood creative visualization taken to a high level, essentially. I saw just how ancient all of this was. While this may have been what the kings and queens engaged in, this was part of our own individual personal power. Back then it was about the authorities doing this for the good of all the people. This was a way, if you were successful, of holding onto power. Your ability to bring good things to all of the people was what cemented your rule and position with the people. All power comes from the people even if the kings would be the last to admit it. After all, I knew that this man was able to come to power because of the backing of the people. How this happened, I was not entirely clear on. I realized that it might be possible to find out who this person was because it was very likely that his rise to power was a unique event and might be mentioned in history.

During preparing this post I did more research into the details that I saw and I found some curious things. The wrought iron detail that I saw on the wall that held the shutters open, this star-like wrought iron form I thought originally there might be no way to know for sure whether it was correct or not. What was the chance of finding a wrought iron detail in an archeological dig of the same object to show that it had indeed been used at all? In watching a video of historical accounts related to Babylon I found that the older friezes and bas reliefs found in museums showed that many of the rulers had a floral design both on their headdresses and on wrist-bands. This same design shows up on the Ishtar Gate, which was built at about the same time. While this design looked similar to the anise design, I knew that it was not a direct hit. But while watching a video of images in the natural history museum in Iraq, I saw another image that was also in some of the images, and this image showed up a number of times, and it was a six-sided star form that has the same look as star anise. While this is itself probably not strong enough evidence and it could not hold up in a court of law, it is itself a tantalizing clue that I will continue to follow to see if archeologists have ever unearthed wrought iron forms or “keepers” for shutters, for example. Could it have just been the shape for a star and not anise? Yes, it is possible. At this point in the digging I have done, it can also possibly be anise as well. I wont know until I dig further to see if I can find more details related to this. But it is a clue and when you go looking into the past, it is details like these that you have to look for to see if history offers anything tangible or directly related to your search. The fact that I saw so clearly this design in the way I did deserves a second look. If I do dig something more up I will include it here in future edits of this post. Images of what I saw are included in the images below…

What I saw was very similar to this, but there were too many “petals.” So I looked further.

Here you can see the same floret, but look to the left and another image appears…

This is a closeup…

And there is another…

This is anise. It is described as having 6-10 points depending on the variety and development of the plant. A star? Or a plant that looked like a star? Perhaps they were used interchangeably…it was grown in the region.

While I regarded this scene again, feelings flooded in that filled in some of the spaces. I had known this person before and in a myriad of ways. I felt the love, the care, the admiration this man had for this woman. I felt how something would rise up within me, that ancient knowing of how we were whenever we came into each others’ presence. It was because of other pasts that this unspeakable familiarity came. I felt the rush of feeling, I felt how unapologetic I was about who I was…how direct and how utterly unashamed I was of how I felt because of its depth and vividness. Something in her brought something out in me. It is true that some people will do that to you. For me now, it was about the creative power within the opposites as one. And yet, this was simple in so many ways, effortless even. I stopped contact with this person initially because it was often too clear, too strong, and vivid. But this recent conversation, as unlikely as it was, with an ET millions of light years away, brought it all back, nudging an orbit back onto an ancient path….With all of this and the new disclosure that this man was not just a general to a king but a king himself, I took to the internet to see what might be there.

I didn’t have to look very far. When I entered “Babylonian general who became king” the result was a singular one. There was only one general of the Babylonian army who rose to be crowned king. His name was Nabopollaser and he reigned beginning in 628 B.C. His son was Nebuchadnezzar II.

Most of the lives I have lived have been of regular folks, many who were anonymous to history. This man, though, was able to rise to power, replacing the Assyrian king Ashurbanipal not long after his death, when there was a power vacuum involving his sons who clearly were having a struggle with holding onto power and even deciding who was going to succeed him. It was a coup, but one that involved wresting power back to the Babylonians, something that the people were behind him on. That, and he had an army who would fight for him if it came to that. I was aware that here was a man of Babylon who had served under an invading king who had been part of a dynasty that had been an occupying force in the country. In a way you could say it was not unlike what is happening right now with the U.S. as an occupying force in Iraq. He chafed under this rule, but he also was offered a better life by serving this king. His own loyalty to his own people won out, and along with his tenacity and courage, he took advantage of a situation that he saw develop after Ashur’s death. Also, years ago I awoke from dream with this very strange name in my head: Ashurbanapal. I didn’t know what it meant back then, didn’t even know that it was even a name. Where had that come from? I looked it up and saw it was the name of an old Babylonian king. It went no further than that. there was no memory back then, no sense of being on to something. It was like a curve ball from out of left field.

Here is where things get interesting. This life mirrored another life that I had with numerous memories from that took place in the Yucatan in Palenque. This was itself as much of a rabbit hole as the Babylonian life because of how many details that I recalled that wound up being in line with what we know about the ruler there in South America. In both cases, these men were involved in major building projects. Now you might think, “But a king would be building stuff, right?” But if you look at the history, some leaders undertook building projects and others did not. For example, Ashurbanipal allowed his kingdom to go into ruin to a great extent. Buildings were falling apart and he just let it go. Nabopollaser came along and began shoring up the old buildings and then began building new ones. When we look at the Yucatan in 600 A.D., it was one king and his son who were largely responsible for not just building projects of significant scope, but an attention to art and decoration for those buildings. This also happened in Babylon—his son built the Ishtar Gate and while it is “just a gate” into the city, it is considered by many historians to be one of the great wonders of the world for how beautiful it was. Both used nationalistic pride to get the cooperation of their people behind these construction projects. It took time and money, man and woman power, to get it all done. Stone had to be quarried, laid, and carved for decoration. Tiles were fired in bright colors, paintings were done on temple walls and bas relief which stood the test of time even as the murals have faded were part of both lives One was alive in 600 B.C. and the other almost exactly one century later in 600 A.D.

Both built water works. In Babylon, this makes sense because of how dry it was, but in a rain forest country like Palenque, the waterworks that were built were underground and archeologists are to this day still scratching their heads to understand what the purpose of that extensive building project was even about. Both built ziggurat-like buildings (ziggurat and step pyramids). Both had sons who followed them in their reign and in their building projects. Both leaders would not have ordinarily risen to power on their own merits or based on their lineage. In the case of Nabopollasser, he filled a power vacuum after an Assyrian king died by having the army in case he needed to use them, but more by having the backing of his own people who were eager to also throw off the influences of a foreign dominating power (the Assyrians). Once crowned, he pushed out the Assyrians (an invading force that also happened in the case of our king in Palenque). In the case of our jungle king, his mother essentially created a narrative that placed him within the royal line of kings even though this narrative really didn’t exist. Both led their people to a new zenith in their culture. Both were fierce in war. Pacal fought alongside his army to push out invaders from other areas and Nabopolassar pushed out the Assyrians, both in the early parts of their reigns. What I saw in Palenque was they literally scared the poop out of the invading forces. He explained that they had to appear as savages so that it would cement in the minds of the invaders that no one should even bother setting foot into their territory again. “Don’t mess with them, they are animals, they will eat your ears off!” As a result, there was peace during his lifetime. Both were involved in using spiritual energy to help bring abundance to the people. With the Babylonian king it was through the ritual of Heiros Gamos and with Pacal, it was his sacred blood which he shed ritually. In Mayan culture the king shed blood from his penis. Patterns, anyone?

So what happens when there is so much information through recall on crossing lifetimes from such disparate times and places? Does it forge the basis for a “new” way for us to be, based on the work done in other lives? What I know is that now I am not interested in the least with looking to authorities for the source of power. Instead, the next new wrinkle is the realization that we all have this inner authority and that we each have this gift, this ability to reach into the numinous. The keys to this realization were kept away from the common people for a very long time. Even in India and in other areas, the priestly caste kept the knowledge away from people because they knew that if not trained properly, it could lead to madness (which may have been legitimate to a certain degree but they also perpetuated a kind of infancy state in humanity at the same time not realizing how important it is that we experience what awakening is).

What I see as the biggest hurdle for us now has to do with our tendency to fall for the victim meme, which is all about the past. There is no power in the past, only in the present. We can learn things from it and in terms of reincarnation you can feel into what one person was able to feel back then that might help you with how to feel into your own issues facing you today, which can be helpful. If you are unable to see how this victim energy emerges, which is the connection between how you choose to react to outward events, events that are beyond your control, and how you then choose to make those events a problem….. is a very disempowering place to be. Trust me, I know. I had to dig myself out of that trap. It was one reason why once I awoke, my marriage came to an end because I could no longer play along with what I knew was a dysfunctional way of relating with another person.

What is so interesting, though, is this man knew power….but the way he wielded it was done in a singular way and not for everyone. Likewise, Pacal was also looked to as the source of divine power to his people. It is now time for us to grow up. Our channels for creative power exists just as powerfully in every person. One of these channels is our sexuality. Everyone says that kundalini is sexual energy. I don’t observe that this is the case, not completely, and it misses a critically important point. It isn’t just sexual energy, it is that our creative energy is not divided out into discrete streams but is felt in its truest way as uncompounded and undivided. It has long been seen and known as a path to God or the Source of All Life. When we reach that level of spiritual bliss our consciousness opens like a blooming lotus and as this happens the numinous emerges and union with the higher powers naturally rises up all around such a person. Here words fail, but you wind up in a place within yourself that shows there is this capacity to know realms that your physical senses will never show you. By letting this energy in and wash through you, your own inner lotus will bloom and so much of the past junk will naturally fall away. Nearly every tradition on earth has something to add to this understanding, and as a result it is not something that is an article of faith or belief, but can be understood as any other phenomenon is understood. Those wedded to a religious belief may not like this, but in my experience it is just another reason why we should begin the process of not allowing the limits of belief to limit our experience any longer. Central to each of these traditions is a release of that which limits us. In Christianity, we speak of baptism as a ritual for washing away sin, the blocked material from our past. In the Hindu tradition they describe this as the cleansing of the nadi channels in the body where it is now shown that the body stores this repressed emotional material from the past. In the Taoist tradition ego is superceded by a larger awareness that serves to heal false beliefs. The Tibetans have much the same practices all done through their own cultural lenses. The Native Americans have the “inipi” or sweat lodge where fasting and prayer go together to clear a person of the ghosts of the past.

In some cases, to do this work, you might need certain techniques to help the cleansing along because of how hard you are holding onto it. It is one reason why some people who have awakened can still remain blocked. I was like that at one time, and I had someone more aware than I was to set me straight. It represented a turning point in my awakening process. There is way more there if you can be humble enough to be led (by the cosmic mind or higher self) or to admit that you still have a lot of shit rattling around inside of you. In every single case, instead of a rational step by step formula meted out by some teacher from centuries ago (or from now even), the most immediate one is learning to surrender and to allow yourself to feel deeper and deeper into yourself. Using this very simple way of working, you can go deeper and deeper to pull up the whole place by its roots. Feeling. But many people still think that you do this by way of the rational. The problem is, you didn’t get there by feeling rational. You got there through feeling, but broken feeling. Still, people want techniques as if those things will magically transport them out of their problems. Sometimes those things can serve to be way of keeping people walking like an ox at a mill wheel who walks all day, getting nowhere. That is because many techniques are used to get you to feel a certain way….and it worked for one person in time and everyone else followed it. This is why so many people who do yoga or meditation will sit just as the Buddha was sitting when he had his awakening. There is no magic involved in sitting like that. I awakened without doing this and while I have used it, I have found no particular benefit from it (although I will say that the “mudras” do move energy through certain parts of the body that are beneficial). If you can learn that it is all about how you choose to use your consciousness through feeling, you really have a large part of it wrapped up. All techniques, save those that manipulate the meridian system manually, are based in getting you to a certain state of feeling and thus realization. The rational mind is entirely outclassed by the quantum leap that is cosmic consciousness and can only serve as a servant and not the master.

What I have observed, too, is how we can miss past life recall. I think how we do this is critical in order to ferret out accurate details. I was able to come to it to greater and greater degrees not by seeking it but by allowing enough barriers to perception to fall, and this took a good bit of time to do. Sometimes with each release, I can often have a new memory that was tied to that block emerge and sometimes it can have its roots in another life (and in this one too).

I once knew someone who tried to claim that she had known me in a past life, which she went on to describe in some detail. What she didn’t know was that the time period that she was claiming that this life took place in was already accounted for. I had at that time a growing level of recall of my past lives. I was living in Tibet during the end of this supposed time frame she was mentioning, and before that (in the earlier portion of this time period), I had one of my first detailed recalls living as a native American living in California. This life in my past simply didn’t exist as she had described. I did consider that I might have somehow missed it, but further investigation never brought it up. It also didn’t fit me, didn’t fit how I felt about family or the other aspects which she described, and if this post is any indication, patterns can reign supreme in this work. Having that life was like a curve ball, something that did not fit in my growing landscape of past lives whose patterns could be seen in my present life. I came to see that this was about telling a truth for her, but more in a mythical way. Instead, I began to see how the details, which didn’t fit any of my past life (and present life) patterns, were instead her own. It also revealed to me the issues that remained for her to clean up in her own life, some of which dog her to this day. A quick scan is enough to know what is up on that account. As a result, we get people who believe that they were Cleopatra, or some other figure in history who is well known. It turns out that thousands have claimed having been Cleopatra in a past life.

Truth be told, we live much more significant lives spiritually often when we are just the regular person on the street. But once in a great while we wind up in a drama that is recounted in our history. With this woman, the only life I had where she showed up was in a life in Spain during the period when the Inquisition was taking place. I was a magistrate and I had to pass sentence on a host of people who had gotten snagged by the Church. In it, this person came before me doing what she wound up doing in her present life. It won her no support to my mind. Yelling in court, she (as a he) had been caught defaming people and defrauding them. My karma was that I showed little mercy when I could have spared him (her). Just from that one forty-minute exchange we wound up with this pretty difficult karma that played out in this life. It didn’t take much, really. It wasn’t life after life after life, constantly seeking and not finding, but still trying. No, it wasn’t like that at all. I think it was that way for her, though, because clearly she believed she had known me many times before. But that “many times” was really about how invested she was in her own shame and hurt, which she had created as one of the most difficult emotional traps I could think of. I ultimately had to do what I could to let her think what she was going to think because that would wind up serving to distance her from me, and it did. It wasn’t the most honest thing to my mind at the time, but correcting her own narrative was not going to happen. She was dug in. And a lot of people are dug in in just this same way. Perhaps you have been much like this, caught up in things that you believe rather than truly know about yourself. I was. I hid out for decades, hiding the true me for fear that I might be held up for ridicule. And in the end, it happened anyway, and in letting it happen I learned that how those people act is their karma and how I react is mine. I had to simply exit that burning world. And when I did, I moved into a place of peace… own peace….on my own terms…and this led to a much better life for me. It allowed me to get back to square one and then reorient myself to my own inner truth and not the “truth” someone else was seeking to insert into my life simply because it felt so familiar to them even though it was a broken picture of their own work that remained to be done. Projection anyone?

Delores Canon, who spent decades doing regression hypnosis into past lives, found that the details that she uncovered during thousands of sessions could be cross referenced with other regression subjects who had been regressed to the same time periods and cultures to reveal a remarkably consistent story line that tended to agree with one another. When she took people back to the building of the pyramids for example, different people would describe the same things, some of which were quite unusual and not easy to just guess. As a result, it is important to have ways I think to cross-reference your details in cases where there are historical accounts available. I was able to find an account that was identical to a memory that I had as a Californian native American man that lined up perfectly with a written account in an old Army report in a case where the natives had tried to steal horses from an Army fort in the area. This case aligned with the same time frame as my memory (which I was lucky enough to be able to place on a specific time line based on what we also have in the historical record of these people) and involved details as to the number of people in our party as well as the number of people who were wounded (I was one of two who had been fatally wounded). This kind of historical evidence and detail isn’t always possible, though. In such a case, remaining open to more details coming through can sometimes help to flesh out more details. This can take time. It took me two years before I got enough information that I was able to locate myself in history where our Babylonian king was concerned. It may not be the kind of evidence that would hold up in a court of law, but it can provide important clues in helping to lead you to a fuller understanding of what was taking place and how this applies to your own spiritual development over time.

In my case, two years went by with releases of what are called “knots” or repressed stored emotion. Once you have gone through this enough times, it gets easier and more common. A full flow of prana or chi does help, but there are methods that can assist and many involve physical movement that unlocks emotional armoring locked into the body as well as manipulating the energy centers throughout the body. All are pretty simple methods. TRE, which I have written about before, is one very effective method along with body work involving acupressure with a practitioner who understands energy. Chi Gong is another very useful modality that when applied consistently over a period of time can result in significant releases of material, especially at the earlier (first two to three years) stages of awakening (although it could also help later as well). Sometimes even reiki can help. As the energy body clears, awareness also becomes more clear. A deeper understanding can result and a better understanding of your truer nature emerges to the degree that there is a greater awareness of the unity of all things and this translates to behavior changes that are permanent. Until that happens, these states are more like places that you can visit for periods of time as a kind of taste of what lies ahead. Until embodiment takes a greater hold, you can use these visits as a way to draw you forward. Things get easier, the self trusts in its ability to more consciously co-create with the universe.

Sound woo-woo? Well, that was what the ancients were doing, and tantra does just this, a tantra that isn’t rooted in just sex. Tantra is the direct path through, not around, problems. The only problem is the trouble that you have within yourself. This is what I have found. Any problem that you seem to have with the world has its root in you. That doesn’t mean, though, that you don’t seek to help bring change to those things that appear to be bad for people in the world. But the path to real change means being clear-eyed and honest about how the change needs to happen. Then you have to help with that change.

For me, the great interest facing me in coming back again in my next incarnation is in how differently I will be creating. In personal relationships, the way that a couple creates together is limited by the karmic threads that bind them. What is their character? What I know from experience is that as a couple become parents, the karma that those two hold together attracts the consciousness of other lives entering our reality, hopefully as the very means of working through that karma. But what happens when a couple creates without the kind of karmic load as that of a generation before? Does a new kind of person begin to make itself be known? What we each are doing in our own lives, waking up, has very concrete effects on the future of the planet even if you live your life in a solitary way.

No longer do we need the kings or priests. What they did, we can do. And in the Gospel of Philip, he explains that Jesus was teaching people how to BE Christs. How could Orthodoxy manage to have gotten this so wrong? This is the danger of this old way of thinking which is that only the kings and queens can do it, or the priests and priestesses or a church or government or an “outside” institution. We literally give up our power and give the institution our power by being a follower or adherent (and it also includes our money as well). It is less doing as allowing, a very feminine trait in all of our consciousness.

I know that I have made deals and resisted the hardest of blocks. I also know that as they go, I find greater and greater peace. There is this marvelous understanding of what these blocks do that was written in the Gospel of Philip from the Nag Hammadi Library which I include here:

That is why the word says, “Already the ax is laid at the root of the trees.” (Mt 3:10). It will not merely cut – what is cut sprouts again – but the ax penetrates deeply until it brings up the root. Jesus pulled out the root of the whole place, while others did it only partially. As for ourselves, let each of us dig down after the root of evil which is within one, and let one pluck it out of one’s heart from the root. It will be plucked out if we recognize it. But if we are ignorant of it, it takes root in us and produces its fruit in our heart. It masters us. We are its slaves. It takes us captive, to make us do what we do [not] want; and what we do want we do [not] do. It is powerful because we have not recognized it. While [it exists] it is active.

The more private teachings of Jesus and the ones which were hidden away for at least 1600 years and recovered in 1945 show a sophisticated understanding of how important it is to do release work. We might call it suppressed emotion today and they might have called it “evil” back then, but it is clearly the same thing. They saw this work as leading to “life” instead of “death.” I can tell you that when you do this work that your perceptions change simply because your beliefs that you hold that are part of the blocked emotion limit your perception and understanding of many things in the world, you see through a distorted lens, which then falls away (and “everything” about what that belief did to you changes). I have known people entirely caught up in their own inner story which had little to no relationship to the outside world. I was one of them, too. For myself, I see that all of this was a doing based on limited understanding, a growth through lifetimes, chapters in a larger book of life. Then later in time, there came a life that was made to open it all up. If you are awakened, then you are this life, made perfect for this work, so don’t doubt yourself. Step back and let that master within you show you what can be.

If you thought this was an interesting dive into reincarnation, you might find an associated post about how to navigate the professional victim worth a look..


Much is said about the Divine Feminine and Masculine.  I find all of this very good to see.  People are getting it.  Hopefully we can hang onto it and it won’t just swing itself into the dustbin of irrelevance.  For as much as I have lived and breathed this awareness, I am also aware of the activism that should at least begin to fill our veins.  It helps if we know the source of this idea, at least where it begins in us.  You might not like what I am going to say because it is going to be a more steel-eyed view….but I promise it will be full of compassion, too.  

Most people become aware of the divine masculine and feminine as a direct experience with nonduality and kundalini.  While the former is a part of kundalini, you can have the former without the latter.  It seems with so many awakenings the divine twins as I call them are upon many people’s lips.  But do you know where they come from?  What is their root physiologically within us?  What is it that drives this yearning in us for union, for a larger or somehow more potent form of completion?  That might sound a tad escapist, that is until you have been touched by this fire from heaven.  Then all bets are off.  

I have been living with this since 2007.  My observation as I have watched it move is that it is tied most likely into the electrical system of the body.  For years I knew that what I was feeling corresponded directly to qi or prana in my body.  No doubt.  But no one has yet to nail down what those forces are.  We talk about prana like it is in some special class of its own. I thought so, too, for years but sometimes it is easier to apply Occams Razor and seek the simpler answer. I have gone round and round on this and I have reached a tentative conclusion after many dead-ends (absent someone doing research and creating some detector to measure all of this) is that it is tied directly to how the body produces electricity in the body.  In fact, I think the chances are very good that this is its basis, and it might be nothing more than that.  That said, for the human body, this electrical potential is very low, as in a fraction of a volt range.  This is the average voltage capacity of the cells in the body as they respirate and generate a low voltage as the result of sodium and potassium as those ions pass one another through the cell wall.  The body then takes up this electricity and uses it for signal processing of information….consciousness. If you want to learn more about this process, you can read about it (which sounds very yin and yang to me) here:  

What I currently think makes the difference between those who are awake and those still in slumber is how the body uses the current that it has.  It SEEMS as if the energy increases, but in truth many wind up admitting this is an energy that was always there.  The yogis and yoginis have also said so, and I have to admit after all these years that it appears that awake is a natural state and not some exotic (although it seems that way at first).   So, either we wake up to its presence, which has always been there, or in the process of arousing kundalini we begin to utilize our energetic potential more efficiently.  Could be, I just don’t know for sure, I wish I did.  There are clues though from the qi masters who have said that qi can be stored in the gut and the bones.  The more powerful the practitioner, the more qi they can build up for a range of healing or even physical effects.  What is interesting to note is the human gut has been found to have as many neurons as the brain of the average house cat.  That is a lot of processing power down there, and all of it relies on electricity in order to work its magic.  Is it possible that the body begins to process electricity different once we awaken?  Is that it?  

There is no doubt that kundalini can be self-generated or self-initiated through the right practices.  It can be passed from person to person through a kind of energetic tuning the Indians call shaktipot.  This isn’t to my mind a woo-woo force, but something that we poorly understand so we just use that catch-all term as a signal that we just don’t know and instead just ascribe a kind of silly association with this unknown.  I also feel cranky about how little attention this most important phenomenon has had in the realm of modern science.  There is no other phenomenon that is as liberating as this, as mind changing, and as enhancing and healing.  But try telling this to a world enraptured with the thought of doing a dark-scaled analog of mind improvement by way of jacking the mind into an AI interface.  Talk about your battle of light and dark.  And yet, neither the light is all light nor the dark all dark…We are predisposed to wanting entry into the noosphere and damn how we get there. We should be walking carefully and with awareness now because we were all made for awakening.  AI is being made for us by us. I am touching on this because of how ironic I find the human race to be. it seems people would rather have a risky control-laden technology that could one day be used to censor information in our very brains while we have always had the capacity to step beyond our limited brain capacity and step naturally and organically into a meta-mind state without drugs, without wires nor synthetic forms of computer generated “consciousness.” Which one do you think might be better for all of us? And yet, you don’t hear anyone pointing this out. I am pointing it out but there’s no money to be made on it unless you too have done the work and can amass a following and illustrate how you can lead people to what has always been within them.  

With every electrical field there is a polarity that exists.  That polarity is also expressed in its electromagnetic field.  I know for a fact that when I read energy I am doing so with my own fairly weak electrical field, interpreting the information that is strung along those lines of force in the people around me.  I haven’t read energy like this in years simply because it gets exhausting because the story is almost always the same.  Well almost the same….different specifics, but following a series of finite themes even though each person is themselves as unique as a fingerprint. The point being that we already have the sensory mechanism inside each of us, and the Tibetans called it the rainbow body. It goes by many other names in different cultures. The only difference between those who can read energy by using the visual centers to interpret the information is that those who can read this energy that way have created the bridge between brain and energetic body senses. The brain dutifully interprets the information in the way the eyes might, or any physical sense. The ancients enumerated these senses. The Egyptians counted them in the hundreds.  Wait. What does this have to do with understanding the “twins” I was mentioning earlier?

Upon this fingerprint is an inherent knowing about the opposites within and without.  We learn about them growing up and if we are heterosexual, we do so in a fairly predictable way. If you are oriented differently then the only difference is that your yearning is toward someone of your own sex.  There is, however, the yearning toward union with the Other.  This happens in life and our relationships, in business, and it also happens, I contend, at the energetic level of the body.  As the very sharp and wise Indian tradition has provided us with, and which modern experience is also telling us, kundalini is a twin force that seems to “rise” in the body, piercing the chakras as it goes, we assume, so that a new pathway can be forged so this force can move unhindered and with awareness from root to crown.  When people say they feel this force even down to the cellular level, it might just be that they are. It is interesting how electrical potential is created even at the cellular level because it involves a dance of positive and negative. Do we take this charge and ascribe a high-order energetic presence to it such as a god or goddess? We certainly do feel this flush of energy as bliss. It certainly does seem that even in the body that we are inextricably drawn to an inner union which then can be expressed outwardly with the Other.

On one side of the spine is an energy that is felt as like masculine, situated on the right side of the body and the channel that the Hindu scriptures have called the Pengali or Pengala.  Its twin, on the other side of the spine, is the Ida channel and that is considered to be a receptive lunar or feminine force while the Pengali is considered transmissive, solar, and male.  It is like…but how could I be feminine? Good question.

The thing about all of this is that while these forces seem to be masculine and feminine, they aren’t literally that.  I suspect we think of them that way just as a way to put our arms around the phenomenon.  These two qualities actually mirror precisely the qualities in our two brains (two hemispheres). In fact, through many “light talks” or a dialog with this light that was a facet of my early experience, I was told that the twins are scattered in myriad ways throughout our world, always different in each expression, but still expressing a fundamental quality that has everything to do with creation.  “Observe the atom; it exists because of a balance between the two twins, the positive and negative charges…peel those away and the atoms comes apart explosively…”   In another talk one summer’s eve many years ago, the “voice” came through and asked if I wanted to know how consciousness was tied to the energy of awakening and how the brain mirrored the cosmic mind but in bodily form.  I was game.  

I closed my eyes as it had asked and it showed me a vision of energy as it moved in the body…radiating at the speed of light it seemed.  On one side of the body there was a negative charge and on the other was a positive charge.  As this field reached the terminal point (the root and head, but also the arms and the legs as well as toes and fingers), I was shown how the negative and the positive merged in a torus-like arrangement which this voice called the “zero point.”  “Here they are neither one or the other; they are neither and yet they do not lose their individuality or awareness of the other….because, you see the truth is…..they are both.” The point where they went into “flux” and one became the other and the energy was cancelled and recreated anew was located at the crown or close to it.  I was told that this flux line actually corresponded very well with the corpus collosum, the nerve fiber connecting the two halves of the brain together.  It was explained that the reason why the left brain controls the right and vica versa was part of the way that energy is managed in the light body. Could this be true?  All I know is that is what it said quite pointedly.  I have also written before about how after getting information in this way that I looked to see if there was any basis in this left/right brain paradigm in science, and it turns out that Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who is a neuroanatomist experienced a shut down of her left hemishphere as a result of a stroke one morning. With her left brain shutting down, what did she experience? Why, she experienced an expansive sense of being and self that was a samadhi state. I can think of few more clear examples for how our brains are tied into this twin-ship within and how the brain is deeply connected to what we feel is energetic and seemingly beyond the body. You can watch Jill’s TED talk on youtube by searching her name (I have already posted her video on this blog twice in the life of the blog).

These twins are in us, but they aren’t a literal woman or man.  These are qualities that are like the sexes but really aren’t.  They are, though, twins, built off a divine architecture that we see in the swirling of galaxies, atoms, cells, and our bodies.  They may not be literal Shiva/Shakti counterparts, but as humans we certainly make them into that. And it isn’t that I am suggesting that this desire to do this is somehow misdirected or wrong. Clearly the dance of these two in our own bodies and our search beyond ourselves for that cosmic other is filled with a lot of important lessons. These two are the opposites that the Hermetics’s described as necessary for opening the mind to the light of cosmic mind, of untethered consciousness. It has been described by most cultures on the earth, including the early Christians even.  We know this.  It is part of who we are.  It is a secret lying within each of us.  The Hindu’s would point out, hiding at the base of the spine like a serpent curled around a cosmic egg.  Talk to an early Christian (they call them “Gnostics” now) and they would tell you of the union of the father and the mother (or virgin) happens in the corpus called the bridal chamber, or the body/self.  But while these forces are likened to male and female, energetically, they aren’t.  But in a fashion, they are.  Perhaps these opposites serve multiple roles for us, thus making the entire affair multidimensional and complex as we take what happens locally and see how it expands or seems to do so the more we look beyond ourselves (and we find nonduality, bliss, and the sense or awareness that EVERYTHING is connected). As a result, these forces are in each of us and they are mirrored throughout our bodies from the cellular level all the way up to the brain itself, acting as vessel or channel for consciousness that is to various degrees allowed a certain amount of expression to the degree that the individual is able to allow to come through the organism.  Do those who awaken process biological energy differently than others? Is the brain shaken out of its out of phase state with its partner (the other hemisphere) so that the two brains begin synching up to one another? I know that when I listened to a hemisync disc given to me by a friend, the result was that my two hemispheres were supposed to be energetically on the same page. At the time I began having a few aspects of awakening symptoms which were simply bizarre at the time. The phenomenon was so bizarre that I considered at the time that I might have been hallucinating. That, or there really was a low level beam of energy or light coming out of my forehead that I could see on the ceiling as I lay in bed listening to this CD.

What is clear is that this potential as energy impacts the body in specific ways.  Firstly, and perhaps most noticeably, is the endocrine system with its suite of master glands whose job it is to regulate healing and growth.  Here the sex hormones can peak in awakening along with dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, as well as norepinephrine and its twin adrenaline.  Getting a grip on kundalini means learning by hook or crook how to regulate a now very active system of chemistry that drives powerful libido and the desire to create and procreate.  For a woman, she often feels as if she is pregnant (many women have described this sensation who have activated kundalini) and for men it is the drive to the penetrative force of their own testosterone-driven chemistry.  Different, but the same….equivalent: let’s be creative.  And this very physical drive also is at the same time being initiated by higher consciousness so that the body brings up the yearning for a still-higher form of union with a cosmic other, a counterpart, an opposite, the endless drive for becoming one both within and without.  Twin flames are, to my mind, precisely like how the quantum physicists term “entanglement” at the atomic level happens to describe the “spooky action at a distance” as Einstein described it. All of it fits neatly together and it can, if the person so affected by the force of kundalini, drive something often referred to as “sublimation” which is the discipline of using sexual energy in the pursuit of personal healing and perfection (albeit a step by step process that could take years and could even wind its way through many lifetimes as the self returns to refine more and more until projecting into bodies is no longer useful for learning here and the self exits the cycle of reincarnation).  

A lot is said of both the divine feminine and masculine. Much of it is in tones that are romantic, wishful and very hopeful.  While this is good, there is another side to all of this that I think that we all would be well served to realize in our day to day.  Much of the “divine” is treated in a mythical way, and myths themselves speak truths that facts cannot, but facts have the specifics that myths will almost never have.  As a result, we tend to project our greatest hopes on these two attributes without really paying attention to what is happening here on the ground.  Yes, feel how your own energy system allows you to climb that ladder of light to such lofty heights, absolutely….but what I find in both my life and the lives of others is that there is often a kind of inaccessibility to these archetypes that live within us.  We feel as though they are each one of our pole stars without a clear vision of how we are ever going to fully grasp it.  To live with learning how to integrate the lessons learned and growing is imperative is how we wind up becoming.

Sometimes these archetypes can be used to keep things just the way they are if we don’t allow the two “twins” to express themselves in their fullest manner.  Every woman has a logical rational side as well as her Ida component just as every man has his softer more feminine intuitive side.  It seems that our physiology here determines in large part how we are directed to that pole star while also feeling the undercurrent of the Other all at the same time.  The question that I have for you is how are you learning to embody that divine feminine in your life or the divine masculine?  Does it make an impact? Does it inspire others?  Are you walking the talk, or are you grasping for that distant star?  

To say that the divine masculine is in the left brain is as silly as thinking that it is just located in the positive charge in the atom or cell wall.  It is all of these and none all at once.  It seems to me to be a deep desire on the part of creation itself to know itself in physical form, the infinite using us as channels for its own greater becoming.  It doesn’t experiment on one level, but at all levels simultaneously it appears.

It seems that this process breaks a person down and takes away all of the chaff that does not belong to them.  Friends, jobs, careers, relationships….they can all fly from our hands under such a process as this. For those experiencing kundalini it can be devastatingly fast since it is like a rocket ride to that furthest star. And still, upon arriving, most find that the journey has only just begun.  Over what seems countless deaths and rebirths, the cosmic serpent sheds its skin and each time we awaken to a new realization of what we are.  Who we are remains, that fingerprint-like essence….but almost everything else could change in just a few short years.  As a new life is found and new footing right along with it, the self has to find its way with a whole new kind of rubric now guiding the show of the cosmic awake within the self…..or the self now awakened to the presence of what probably was there all along.  

The awareness of what the feminine and masculine are in their “divine” form is limited by the degree to which the individual or personality has stripped itself of the limiting factors that get taken up in early life in the form of programming from the local society or culture.  if you are ready for awakening in this life, you might have grown up with curious indications that what you were being taught wasn’t the whole story.  You might have had experiences that pointed to this, experiences in the realm of what some call the paranormal.  Sadly, even the doorway to this greater realization is treated with such mystery as to make just about anyone shudder at the sound of the word “paranormal.”  The truth is, I think, is that there is no such thing.  

Everything that we experience is in its own way normal. Explainable. Knowable.  I foresee a day when we finally come to the realization that since we are energetic beings we also can use the power inherent in the electromagnetic field that we each have in our own bodies to show us how we can do run-arounds Newtonian physics and explore what the Quantum physicists began to see at the turn of the 20th century.  This “spooky action at a distance” will I suspect be better understood when we see that we are also held within the same forces as those that cause photons to be entangled.  To me, this is a prime example of how consciousness becomes entangled and can thus feel itself in a deep state of union with the Other.  Today, though, people who are experiencing this phenomenon are finding that while it can drive union with another person, it is also the same force that drives union with the Source of all life, no matter what you choose to name or call it. To contain it within one tradition or conception is itself almost silly to consider since when you do experience this force behind all things, it is clear that isn’t is not quite as the ancients have described it, but were doing so in their own way which appears limited to us today (which it likely is).  Old habits and dogmas die hard.  

Curled within us is the capacity to know how the other lives, even feels at their deepest levels.I have learned so much in this way while still maintaining my identity as a male living this lufe with my own history and a future open as wide as the gates of of heaven are to each of us (it is an inside job).

So what I am saying is that there may be no end to your awareness of what the divine masculine and feminine are.  These two, to my mind, form the two rungs on an endless ladder, or perhaps a finite ladder that takes us to a whole other level where the ladder itself eventually becomes irrelevant.  Maybe so.  But what we think it is can be changed by the breakthroughs that we each will make as we are pushed along on this tide that is an evolutionary spiral.  And for as much as people today want to say how novel and new all of this is, it just isn’t.  All of this has been with us from the beginning. What is new is our understanding of it.  I do think we have a way to go, but we will keep on growing and releasing old beliefs that no longer suited us.  What won’t work is when we take up the divine feminine or masculine as a shield or a banner for going into our own crusade.  These forces were created and work for the time and the place we find ourselves in.  They are relevant to our here and now, but I would not get stuck on the idea that they will be built monolithically so that they will stand forever.  

Now at long last, I will put this one caveat before you: I am myself seeking to make sense of all of this. While I am buoyed to a degree with the experience of having had many of my deep dives into this type of material supported later by other thinkers, theories, or paradigms later, I am doing just as you are; trying to describe the elephant in the darkened room. Did I get it right? Only time will tell, and you must be the judge.

So, take a deep look at your own unresolved BS and realize that you are seeing the divine feminine and masculine through the distortions that are your own closely and often very private beliefs about yourself and about how you think the world is made.  You will only be able to see what you allow yourself to see based o what remains within you to clean up. I find that the more work I do the more nuanced many things become and how much they also change, including the masculine and feminine archetypes.  At a certain point I feel that they are fundamentally one and thus flow both into a stream of awareness when we are sufficiently developed to reach that farthest star.  For now, let it be your pole star because it seems to have the power to transform each of us, and it seems to be a very good thing.  

They have much to teach us for now, but now is not all that we will have.  We are each expressing and learning beyond our own conscious ability to know how we are each multidimensional in nature.  When we are ready, that information will slowly begin to show itself.  By then, those who have no idea what we are on about will look at us as though we have grown a horn in the middle of our heads.  Still, this is the way of things here, right?  Each will have their time for being “mature” spiritually. Let’s hope so because it isnt easy to understand how radical the force of awakening can be.

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