I am not a big one for days we set aside in order to honor something. I was grumping recently about Earth Day because I felt every day should be Earth Day. But not Mother’s Day. For me, this is like a birthday, a celebration.

We all seem to be effected by how we were raised. For years I felt a deep sense of anger towards my Mother, a feeling that came from not getting what I needed in my early years of infancy. I was able to let that old hurt go by going deep into the experience and the feeling in order to really experience it. It is this one act that most often clears old long-standing blocks that will continue to cause problems going forward in life. Now, with that gone, I have been able to come to a new place in my relationship with my Mother. Being able to overcome, within ourselves, what is there that serves to separate us from ourselves serves to help us relate to the universe. This is an amazing outcome to self work. Most often, I have found, the problems we face with others are entirely self made. It goes back to what many teachers have observed about the nature of our expectation and resultant suffering when the world does not meet our own self-made expectations. All of this work has been, for me, about seeing things as they are. So on this Mother’s Day, I am all about What Is and celebrating that. And you know what? In perfect timing, along comes all this stuff showing me how I need to heal the womb of the world that is my own part, and this womb, interestingly, is felt right where it should be in the woman, except it is expressed as an etheric or energetic form within me. It has been coming up now as one of the last (it feels like) major issues to clear in my energy field. Since awakening, I have watched as center after center, chakra after chakra was cleansed of these old wounds. When the heart chakra was cleared, it was like an epiphany. Now, a similar kind of wound remains to heal, to let go. My feeling is that individually, it bears on the hurts that are connected to the creative fire of the feminine over my evolutionary spiral on this planet both as man and as woman. Healing that part helps others to heal, healing the planet, lifting our awareness, and changing the vibration here on Gaia. What could be more amazing as that?

For some of you, this might sound foreign, maybe even strange, but consider this: I have been a woman before in past lives. All of what I am in my universal essence has the experience of the feminine within me to the degree that I have taken lives to help add that to balance in physical what is in the spiritual. Awakened, I am more aware of that essential self more than ever. Far from making me bland or androgenous, it has helped me to understand more, relate better in some ways, and also to reach back into my own being for the resources I need to know the self I am “beyond” my current awareness here. The feminine has become more and more a part of this as I have overcome the hurdles that have stood in my way. As I have written over the past year or so, I have mentioned instances where I have encountered this inner feminine as an overarching archetype, a kind of feminine goddess of Parker. She is there in a number of dimensional forms or realities. It is no surprise that the problems I have had with my own Mother, birther, nurturer, have been the ones I have struggled with and am now learning to uproot, cleanse, heal, and bring to peace with. Our family can be our greatest teachers, you see. Every problem we face is a teaching opportunity in disguise.

In wondrous intelligence, nothing in our world is lost. All is transformed. I have always thought the idea of a hell was so wasteful of a deity…..until I really realized hell is just something we came up with, but as an objective reality created by some angry father god, no. So in healing, you never lose anything. Your own Mother comes right along, transfigured herself most likely in your own eyes as you learn to see her for just as she is which is, I think, the greatest honor we can pay our Mothers because what Mother does not delight in her children really truly seeing her (and perhaps in a more complete way maybe for the first time).

Tomorrow I get to have my Mother all to myself. She seems to need that these days as she ages. Life has conspired that it will be this way, and I am looking forward to it. So to all Mothers out there, to the children who have them ( smiles), here is to Mothers!

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