Some time ago when I began to utilize my awakening to understand it better, I found myself being plunged into these worlds….worlds that were right here in front of me, the inside of things. Over a period of several days I found myself caught in a reverie whose content was fueled by this energy moving in me. Intelligent, it would seem to begin to show me things. I wrote a piece back then about how this thing “spoke” to me. It didn’t really speak, but rather communicated through the movement of energy, in the silent syllables of feeling, the shape and form of bliss, the penetrating power and the enveloping loveliness of this presence that was, for me, two-in-one who were creating a third energy, which at the time I called the child. I would later see in Gnostic texts that this was precisely what the early Christians were talking about and which the later versions of the institution had either weeded out or had watered down. It spoke mutely, loudly, somehow with nothing but its beautiful body of being and taking my hand, it took me deep down inside of itself.
“Look at the trees” it said.
I looked at the trees, not really sure where all of this was headed. Focused, I felt as if I was meeting it “there” and it grabbed hold of me like a lover on a first date, slinking out into the night to the river where she bade me to slip into the cool dark waters of her mystery. I was seduced, it seemed almost to smile this energetic presence flowing in me, for it was in the openness of my mind and heart in this place that it could fill me with all of this juiciness, its being, what it is, and what we all are. I was pulled gently but assuredly down into the trees, into a limb, a leaf, then into cell structures, then past those into a great expanse that opened up as the level of the compounds and elements emerged….atoms….and then we broke through that level into subatomic particles until I reached a place where there was virtually nothing else there except something that contained the very essence of this energy within it. I was shown a particle that was for want of a better word an anti-particle. This anti-particle did not have any mass. It was both “matter” in a kind of conditional way since it was both matter and energy, and so this odd hybrid thing literally formed the entirety of the universe. Here I was shown an energetic principle that was startlingly similar to the energetic principle in the world I knew with the energy. These particles were paradoxes. One would be charged negatively (feminine) and one positively (masculine) and they worked like keys and locks. They worked to create vast amounts of energy. Within each particle, though, was the negative and positive, but each particle, if I can even call it that, had both charges but with a dominance that led to one polarity or another. Within these particles was the entirety of the universe. It was almost like dna that didn’t just hold the information for one body or even one species, but for EVERYTHING. I could not wrap my head around this, but it was very clear that these things, whatever they were, were the basis for everything. They were the smallest and yet were the biggest even though this had nothing at all to do with space. That was kind of heavy, but somehow made perfect sense once you know just how interconnected the universe is. When you awaken to cosmic consciousness you become aware of everything. I also know that it is hard to identify anything specific sometimes in this vast bliss-field, but it can be done through focusing attention just as I had done. I was curious, I wanted to know how “it” worked, what “it” was….life the universe and everything.
These particles formed alliances or sorts. They would merge into a wave form and this might serve to be an event, it might also be a bench, or rock, or particle of air. How on earth they were able to do this, I cannot explain, but all of this was connected to a vast choreography that was going on at a pace that was so fast that we here at our level just cannot even glimpse the effect of what it is that they do. What these particles did was to enter into our world from a place that is everywhere. They entered in an orderly fashion that seemed entirely random and yet, they slipped right into the correct spot for one terribly brief fraction of a fraction of a moment before disappearing again to emerge somewhere, someplace else. They simply would wink into our reality or world and then expend their energy, much like a static charge. Once this was done, this particle would then wink out only to be replaced by another particle in the exact position it left. This was perfectly timed, and thus the world took on a sense of permanence or solidity. This was subatomic, but may have been far smaller than what we consider to be subatomic now (as readily discoverable things within an atom for example). I somehow “knew” that when the energy was released, the particle winked out of our reality and would find itself in another reality….where it was I do not know but my mind felt, intuitively, that it had to do with densities of energy or space….and that there are different densities of dimension somehow….and that depending on how the energy was expended would be a determining factor in where that particle would wind up going next. If you followed one of these particles, it would be like swimming through a continuous stream of water that has different densities and thus requires different energy output, a shiny particle that would glint in the sunlight and then seem to disappear only to reappear moments later somewhere else. One area or current might expend all of its energy while in another area, it would somehow gain energy due to its constantly changing polarity. Almost as though it was first yin, then yang, then yin, then yang again. Something LIKE this. How on earth this manifests from a physics standpoint, I cannot say, except that it would probably not be something that is entirely observable or understood except that these particles simply appear to emerge from nowhere and go back into nothingness. Except they don’t just disappear. They would just SEEM to do so from our limited perspective. They do this incredibly fast. I had the feeling like a second was slowed or stretched out far enough for me to comprehend or see what was going on. This second was itself stretched to something that was in the range of minutes, perhaps a second was half an hour worth of time. I don’t know how fast this makes this particle, but it was slow to them at that level of space while being incredibly fast to us normally. And these particles exuded their own form of awareness. I think they had very little sense of ego, that or they didn’t care if they showed up as phenomenon, energy, or form, or all of the above and perhaps all at once. This began to get complicated as I considered multiple parallel universes all happening and connected yet different. Do the particles in us resonate with those in our counterparts in other realities and times? They do, they can, and this can also happen in all of matter. Walking on water, for example, if this was indeed an actual event in the physical world.
All along, these danced with the most sublime bliss and joy. These were the creators. They helped to support or form our world. Maybe they did not create the reality, but they became the construction crew that supported it….built the trees, the air, the people…..nanosecond by nanosecond. As they moved in and out of our world, the world almost seemed to shimmer just a bit….a shimmer that we do not detect but take for what is real. We have an effect on what some of this shimmering stuff does and is the core of a great secret that I think could help us move mountains….
What I also saw was that these particles would dance in response to the energy in my body. I knew that I could affect reality from the most basic level in a certain way…..this was limited, though. I could not get in the way of anything that had to happen, but I could, shall we say, collaborate with these energies or particles in building bigger and bigger waveforms built out of these particles. These particles, it seemed to me, were consciousness, energy, that could slip in and out of energetic states to create the barest nub of mass or physicality. Just a nub. Barely noticeable. Like one small krill in the ocean is seen as perhaps entirely inconsequential, and yet as they swarm, they become some of the biggest masses of life in the ocean and thus support vast lifeforms. Well, okay, not a perfect metaphor or analog, but maybe you get the idea.
All of this is terribly dry, I know, and none of it was experienced that way. Here was the force I felt in my body as the “two” currents of masculine and feminine, the Shakti and Shiva in absolute love with one another (in my body….) and they were there in those particles, doing their dance of creation. And atoms did this because they were formed from this stuff. Cells did it because they were formed from it. The consciousness of the cell rode the wave of the energy and its phenomenon when it chose to be an event, just as we ride upon the great wave of cellular life to know our reality. And then, at the mass scale, we are all rendered back into a single cell, the earth, as the collective cell of earth struggles to find its own form of fulfillment. Ad this cell swings through what we consider vast space in a sea of other star cells and planets…..everything different at each level and yet entirely the same inside in principle. Spirals in atomic forms, spirals in water, spirals in weather, spirals in planet formations, spirals in galaxies….So all of this was charged with this energy. What was in me was in it. It was everywhere.
IN this experience was the holographic nature of everything. Everything is seeded with it, a kind of cosmic dna. NO, none of this is dead matter, and while you might consider I am off my rocker if you have not experienced it, those who have awakened have no doubt experienced similar things. It’s certainly not the drug of kundalini. I know this because reason told me that if the energy in me could connect to perfectly with everything, then I would see evidence of how my own thoughts and will was causing an effect on this world of the incredibly small. It was here, the quantum world where I discovered the missing link between the very small and very large. There IS a continuity between these worlds and I write about it in my book (that was a not so subtle way to tease you into giving it a read once it is published…only because it has been so much work). Once you understand this and you know how the energy in you must be balanced in order for this to take place, you will find uncanny events begin to take shape. We do this naturally, but imagine those who awaken learning how to effect things in a “thy will be done” sort of way, acting as conduits for divine energy, which is nothing short of cosmic energy which is everywhere!
It is everywhere. IN everything. As you awaken, you awaken to the intense bliss in flowers, how they yearn to release pollen and to be fertilized, to feel the growth, the cyclical nature of energy and life…..all of life, even “dead” matter yearns in this same way. Surely it does. I know it does. the universe showed me through these incredible events that involve the entraining of these subatomic particles that form everything. This is, I believe, the basis for what we have termed magic. We do not understand it, so we called it miracles or magic or the will of one god or another down through time. For those who were fearful, those of us who held its secret in us were often persecuted for it. Thus, for a very long time, many feel the collective caution of not speaking out for fear of being not just ridiculed, but having our lives ended. Now for as severe and hard as this might all seem, it is actually connected into this very ancient of knowledge, and is tied to the one side of this energetic spectrum that has been missing….which is the yin, the negative charge, the feminine, the dreaming womb of the All. It is precisely as she has begun her trek back into our own individual awarenesses that the seemingly impossible becomes possible.
You can call me a dreamer, and I would smile and say thank-you, for in my dreaming SHE emerges rich, powerful, beautiful and potent. What she will offer us is something we cannot even begin to imagine. Like a baby growing in her womb, the child which she births will do great things. Last this child was spoken of, it was a he, but this child is not a he or a she. It is the product of both, a transcendental and transformative power that comes from woman and her consort man.
You can know similar things….you just focus yourself in that energy and bid it come. Let it take you, just surrender to it and then feel the yearning to know. Then allow it to take your imaging centers, your imagination, and utilize it. It will SEEM as if it is being imagined at first, but it will have a solid core of something more than just imagination within it. This is slippery for some people, but at a certain level of reality, the seeming imaginary actually is becoming actualized. In the astral realm, for example, thoughts become solid objects. The more energy that you give them, the more solid or permanent they seem to be. Just as dreaming is threaded through by the imagination, it is the servant of the soul in communicating information from various places within you. In symbols. Even my experience was itself something of a dream whereby I was led along by the energy using a certain facsimile, symbols, to express a deeper reality. You just have to trust and ride the wave of bliss. This is the gateway of Gnosis, of knowing without having to learn it. You glimpse the fundamental order of the cosmos, an experience that happens to every person who awakens like Buddha, like Jesus, his followers, and also like you and me. All of us. And for those who are not yet awakened, the Buddha sleeps inside because we all have it. It is what you are. Your fundamental nature.
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Waking The Infinite 