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Archives for posts with tag: waking the infinite
Boy the change that is happening! Since January its been….well…interesting to say the least!
So just so you know, I am sorry I have not been blogging more frequently, but some changes in my work have meant that I have had to put a lot of time and resources in other directions and this has made getting heer less frequent. That, and it has focused me on book work (I also started two more books with outlines in the last week…we will see how those develop…one is on creativity and the other is a diary of “epiphanies” from awakening).
However, the really good thing is that I have been working on THAT BOOK. Recently I said I had gotten some major editing done on it and have since added some short chapters that I felt needed to be included. It makes the work larger, which means I may need to work some more on making it smaller all the way through the work since its hovering around 400 pages at a “cut” size.
But the material is good, and I am looking forward to getting it into the hands of other writers for a good first look. This has been the work of over four years and I want to get it right!
So for now, I can’t say exactly what the future holds, but it has been exciting, that is for sure. It has also given me the much needed time to look deep within at the remaining issues that dog me, effect me in my life. Life, even though it has changed, remains a deep intake of breath, of awareness, and of relasing all that had held me to a limited scope of being and becoming. And you know what? I think it can sometimes be messy, but as we each unwind to what we are, we let go those things we have been toting around for ages which we realy don’t like to see, and probably don’t WANT to see. Our fear, our anger, our greed, our dishonesty with ourselves and with others. But instead of falling for shame, being able to fall for love instead is so vital. When shame catches us, we are most often caught in a situation where we do not feel safe enough to be ourselves, to unwind, to allow our fundamental selves to peek through the landscaping.
So spring is upon us, even if it does not feel that way…it is. The buds are beginning to grow and there are signs that the early bulbs are getting ready for the trigger of MORE SUN….which they are now getting! Hang in there and I hope March is the kind of March I have always known thus far; embracing spring, and embracing new life.
Happy Voyages to you… until next time….
As some of you may know, I operate a glass studio in addition to teaching part time in art. The holidays is an important time for me to capture the funds necessary to sustain me through the slower times of the year…..sooooo….I have not been blogging much! Lots of change in the air and so, an update for now.
In a most odd twist, I was working on my book the last few weeks and finally reached….the end! Boom! Just like that! I had edited this thing, cutting it from an immense size down to 160 pages, then building it up to 350 pages. while this page number is going to get trimmed perhaps by as much as a hundred pages or more, the revised and edited version NOW contains everything that it NEEDS to say, convey, and discuss about awakenings. The difference now is that I only need to add small bits and remove larger bits…..which wasn’t the case before!
It turns out that the day I realized that I was done with the main bulk of the book was the exact same time I awakened….seven years ago…..so it was….an anniversary of sorts!
Pretty wild things have been happening recently around these parts that confirm the fact that the universe is a living canvas on which we each create….that how we see the universe is badly in need of an update! The KINDS of events that are taking place are not “supposed” to happen in a normal mechanistic world as we have been envisioning it. When we can understand how to welcome this impossibility into our lives, it means impossible things happen (which of course ARE possible, we just don’t all know this yet!).
So! I wanted to thank you for bearing with me. There is more book work to do, getting some new eyes on it and then the next step, which leads to publishing! Updates when I am able.
~Parker
Before I went through awakening, I will admit I was not as aware of this idea as I probably could have been. I KNEW I created my own reality. I did. But what I didn’t do was to see just HOW MUCH I was really really creating it. All of it. Who I was, what I was, how I was arranged, what I felt…the energy coursing through my energetic veins was determining so many things! I just wasn’t aware how deep it went. I wasn’t as observant as I could be, I don’t think. I didn’t realize just how deep all of this went.
When I woke up, I got a second chance at getting a good old wake-up slap on my head. And it sunk down into me. Deep. The force of awakening woke me to a leel of knowing that’s hard to explain….as though perceptual abilities were not just sharpened, but bloomed….the sense of Gnosis, what the Greeks called knowing, moved in me. And what was in me was in the world. HOW I FELT about that world was the flux field that determined what was happening with me.
So when it came time for me to backtrack in my work, which I did, I found that this stirred a world of things in me that I thought I was DONE with. See, we can fool ourselves all the time. Awareness is huge for us, and we do A LOT to hide things from ourselves. What we hide, we do not see, what we do not see, we do not work on. It remains until we realize there is SOMETHING in us that is putting off this vibration in us to cause certain things to happen because HOW we are serves to determine HOW events go. We ARE NOT victims here. Source granted us FREEWILL. So HUGE was this that Source WILL NOT get in the way of that freewill…..even if it means killing or hurting others. EVEN then! Holy moley, right? H-H-H-HUGE.
So as I did this, it actually showed me up close and personal all the work I had to refine. To work on. I had a history with people who claimed to love me actually hurting me, a very specific kind of hurt, too. I had been married before all of this, had kids and this person who was someone I shared a life with and who I thought I knew turned her back on some very important issues she gave lip service to but didn’t actually follow through on. Thing is, I KNEW she knew these were important things. She was going back on some pretty critical things simply to hurt me. Now for as petty as that may seem (to me and to my lawyer, both), this was shown in the bright lights of my awakening as something I had to work on. Afterall, I was attracting this. I was. And when I thought maybe I had worked through it, I met another person who I realized was going to do something very similar, something that represented the merry-go-round nature of karma and how we really can’t attract anything different from what we are deep down. The saving grace is that we can change, DO change at all different places in our lives. So this work, I was doing. Digging digging….And I was releasing SO MUCH JUNK! And yet, this issue remained and as a result, I attracted based on that. This is the relentlessness of how this all works. You just can’t bullshit your way around this stuff. You can, sure, but Buddha once said there were three things you cannot hide; the sun, the moon, and the truth. So, it is going to come around. Watch the tree and observe what it produces. Watch people. You don’t even need to take their word for it, just watch. Over months, years, if need be. What they say and how they act and what they produce as the fruit of their lives will reveal itself. Eventually, the truth will be revealed. Known.
So as this all took place, I saw the Dark Goddess in all her terrible presence. And I knew how it was going to go. Dark goddess? What do I mean when I say this? Within us there is both shadow and light. We have the power, we have the choice to decide. Its freewill. Quite naturally, there are not just the gods and goddesses that are all light, but are also consumed by shadow, by their dark sides. When we, in the awakened state experience such negativity, we experience the ascended darkness or the ascended light. Again, what does that mean? it means we have the potential for both, and it is WE who decide. And in that moment, even as my head and heart all knew that nothing good would come of this, that all of this was following a pattern, and even when I spoke this truth, the fact that my root chakra was not yet cleared, IT vibrated at an energetic frequency that was not convinced. Now, I tell you, there is no worse place to be…..for everything in you says this is going to be bad because it turned out bad with another person before this, and clearly with the third ey and heart I could see this….but the root would not let go, could not. Such is the nature of the unhealed lightbody. But even then, in partial knowing, it was read by the Goddess as rejection, as abandonment, hurt, pain, and all she knew to do was to strike back…..to seek to harm and hurt.
So for one relationship I had a child turned against me. this child wont speak to me because he believes what his mother has told him. Buys it hook line and sinker. Besides, why would his mother lies to him about such things, right? In another instance it was said in a puvlic forum that I was sexually abusing the students I taught at the school I work at. It was said that I used my abilities to manipulate people into doing my will. Further, I admitted to this Dark Goddess that I did this in order to get what I wanted. It wasn’t just that I did this, I did so wantonly, with design, with malice! But this was not all. if soeone else was percieved as somehow coming into a circle of influence, those people, too, would be subjected to the same kind of behavior, which was an attempt to punish, to hurt, and to demonize. So hurt, so broken from the past that the past and present cannot be seen for what they are or as they are. So clouded the vision, so bloodied the heart. When we do this kind of thing we grow more karma, we do more harm not just to others, but to ourselves. It is unfortunate, but out of such things I had to stop and just look at myself and ask why I had attracted this. I didn’t make them act this way, no, they chose this, but I sure attracted it and THAT was what I had to examine and really look at, because once I did that, I was able to see more clearly the things that remained to be healed.
My chakra centers, nearly cleared, KNEW this would not go well. I was able to predict just how it would go……how she would seek to punish me, hurt me, even though what I was doing was true and fair……not an effort to hurt or harm, but to cast truth…to speak the truth about how this all was a replay of old hurts…..that we would simply be banging our heads against the wall. I had already had this experience with a spouse a few years before, so you would think I’d have this one all worked out. Well, we heal when we heal, and having someone do what my spouse did was particularly hard because it involved children, but the effect was the same pattern of retaliatory behavior in the following relationship, which is the Dark Goddess in her wrath. She is the image of Kali, the angry one, the one who vents her rage…..but as humans, when we vent our rage it means people get hurt. The powerful energy behind rage has to be very carefully wielded.
As a result of this experience, the humbling effect has served to bring me back into myself, back to where I need to be to place my awareness on the parts of me not yet fully healed What is interesting is that all of this is energetic in nature. The energy pattern is not physical, so when it heals, IT can heal immediately and completely if we let it. Whatever lingers can then go on to create disease in the body, so it pays to clear all of this up as these unhealed places represent life force that is being choked off and used for all the wrong things. So often we wind up experiencing diseases that are all part of a series or spectrum of energy effects that transfer effects through the body wince all of this is delicately connected (energy feeds into the body!).
Some people say forgiveness is important in healing. It is. But what forgiveness does, in all truth, is that is clears the way perceptually for YOU to realize that the truth is that all along all of this hurt and pain and terrible junk that has been happening TO you is actually YOU creating situations in your life where this junk that is IN you plays out in FRONT of you. So we say we are not aware of our fractures, and yet those fractures are right there IN your life. The women in my past were all very good at putting on a face at the beginning of their day, but this face was the ace they thought they had to wear. I too in a way was doing the same thing. I finally grew tired of the masks and when that happened, the masks began to fall away. The layers of hurt and propriety fell away. the bullshit fell away.
And this is the fear that we feel when we wake up. We fear death, we fear change, we fear it being different. Knee-jerk. Totally. But once we DO change, its never so bad as we thought.
So let it go. Your higher self will lead you perfectly. Think of it as being like a cosmic parent that is there helping to mold and shape your life and wont lead you to the wrong place. Just to the places that you need to go to learn. And you will realize that none of this is being done to you…..this is happening for a reason, no exceptions, and it has to do with who you are and HOW that “are” puts out a vibration which magically attracts certain events and things into your life. Want to change that equation? Change yourself. All the way down, truly, fully and honestly. That is the answer. And the work is what lies in front of you since the hardest part has already been done; the realization that there is more work to do!
Good luck and all my heart-felt blessings for you in this!
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| ©Parker Stafford |
This image of the Buddha I created a few years ago to express a certain sense about the awakening experience, which has a lot to do with being able to be IN the fire of awakening or a spiritual experience while still remaining blissfully calm. Being able to do this is an important part of being a primate. We can reflect and we can control ourselves. We can seek the highest, even if that highest thing is something we aren’t quite sure we even know IS. We can each find a place of calm where we can be powerfully present, observant, but not always in the throes of the drama of our lives. We can choose to let the clutch slip as we simply sit quietly and calmly, observing and letting bliss wash over us instead of feeling angst or anger, or hurt or pain or jealousy or any number of things that really wind up wasting our time here on the planet and just burn up energy and make life harder for all involved.
Sit down for a few quiet minutes. Give yourself permission to unhook, to not have all of your worldly tethers on and demanding your attention. Instead of your life pulling at you, I want you to try and watch your life float on by. Just let it be like a big blue balloon of a moment where the string slips out of your fingers and you find that you aren’t upset in the least; it already is done. No use crying over spilt milk…..
So slow down. Feel your life as like a river. It is noisy up close, but you are going to get very quiet inside so that any noise is merely incidental. It wont matter so much to you. We all can have very noisy lives, and it can sometimes be a bit like street noise. It is all lovely, but let it all drift into the background some. Let the part of you that is Observer be that; observe.
So sit comfortably and calmly. Think about your life, but do not get caught up in it. You now have permission to look at all of it in the same way that you might watch the landscape move past you as you float in an inner-tube on a slow and lazy river. No worries. You cant stop it, but you can watch it all happen.
Whatever it is that bothers you, the universe can take care of it and WILL take care of it if you just let it be.
So let it be. Watch your life pass before you. See your mother, your father, your brothers and sisters, your children, your coworkers, your friends and the whole wide world just slip on by you. For a few moments just BE here and watch. Observer. Be neutral. This is a bit like what death is about and is actually what it serves to teach many who can let go; surrender. We fear death, but death is in truth a great learning opportunity. We learn so much when we die. It is so final and so much is brought to that moment of finality…(or SEEMING finality). But we just let go and the feeling can be so delicious and so wonderful. Whoever said death was horrible must have never remembered dying a time or two!
And if your life is one big drama after another, try this; yes look at all that lively drama you created. It is such a mess, is it not? Oh my goodness! But you know, even though its a mess, I bet that if you let it be and start living differently, the mess will just take care of itself. You just wont contribute to its being a mess anymore. Perfect. Oh sure, you might have to dip your hands into the mess a little to finish it, but you would be surprised to know just how many things are already about as done as they could possibly be and would never be improved on by our sticking our hands back into it to try and make it better.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t care when you are being the Observer. You are merely not being so reactive and being so engaged that you can’t see what is in front of you or have any sense of perspective. Relax, breathe, and tell yourself that with the help of the universe, everything is going to be okay. Even the stuff that seems messy now will sort itself out in time. Inside of you is something so perfect, so right, that when you let it flow out of you without trying to control it anymore, it sets up just the right conditions and events for your greater unfolding. If you want to talk about ascension, which is something I don’t think ANYONE really understands (but people write about it as though it is something that they know), then this might be a good place to start. But then, this might just be something that I find useful for me. All of us are different, and your own inner voice might be calling you to do something different; honor that. You just never know when its going to turn into an ADVENTURE!
I tell myself this one a lot when I come across the harder things in my life. I say this and keep saying it. Each time things that were hard get a little bit easier. Its not like running a fast race, but its worth it I think to no longer being so ruled by things.
So sit and take it all in. This is your life. All of it. Now go live it!
Let me be an instrument for your grace
so that where there is chaos
I may bring order,
where there is madness
that I may bring peace
where there is hatred
that I may bring only love
and where there is hurt
that I may bear healing.
When I am in despair
let me know your hope
and when there is error
let me bring your truth
and when truth does not shine
may I remember that in the end
that your truth is something which cannot be hidden
no matter the madness, the chaos, the error, or hurt that exists
for it is your own light which shines
that is my own.But more than theselet mine be forgivenessfor this illuminates the pathway to your garden.
Today is a gift. Another day that I get to spend working on my book. I am taking a break from writing in order to write. I just finished a section that had to do with larger effects across the Collective Consciousness that are happening currently. And it is exciting.
I can remember those early days of awakening where I looked out through new windows, a returned sense of perception. I sensed I could feel the collective awareness, knew I was doing this now, and in sensing it, could feel, like a pulse, what was moving in the Collective Awareness. I had never heard of anyone sensing in this way so I kept quiet about it for a while except for my closest of friends like Alison who has been experiencing this since she was young. About six months ago while visiting my grandmother I listened to an interview with U.G. Krishnamurti when I had little to do in the house where I was staying. Krishnamurti was describing the same thing I had experienced and said how we awaken to this state, less of just the individual and more of the Collective Consciousness. “Yes, yes!” I thought, “like shifting gears from one singular focus to a much larger focus which now makes up the whole of my experience now….”
What I experienced in those early days was a very clear awareness that something was afoot! It was! All these beings, people, all awakening! I could feel them like stars shimmering against the dark coat of night….each pulsation having its effect on the whole. A giant webwork, a network of being that was becoming conscious at this level! What I felt within this was how the Collective felt “pregnant” with awakening, that the incident of awakening would expand. You could just FEEL it. It wasn’t rocket science, it wasn’t something hard to get at, at least I didn’t think so. As I observed it seemed that more and more younger people were waking up all in a more spontaneous way, or with the barest of triggers. What I feel now is a feeling of something rolling out, unfolding. In some ways, I have focused much more on my own process, on me, instead of looking out into the Collective. I think at the time this new feeling felt novel so I spent a lot of time just poking it and feeling around inside of it like some new skin. I know, that probably sounded weird. At least it isn’t an old bear skin or something…
Something is being birthed.
After about two years of experiencing kundalini, I had this feeling like there was something more, and that some of the ideas that people were saying about soul connections, twin souls, just didn’t make sense to me anymore. The idea that kundalini yoga being the only way to wake up was obviously proven incorrect since I had done so without it or without any discernible practice. I mean, yes, I had my own form of meditation which I had used for years, but I never read up on it, I never followed anyone’s method or technique. I was a do-it-yourselfer; DIY kundalini! And then kundalini shifted into a whole new gear, ripping me to shreds pretty much (or so it felt—I was actually just resisting it…that happens when you resist the waves instead of surf them!). Tsunami waves broke apart the old me and left the core of me on the beach to decide what was next. As I struggled through this portion of the process I was visited by someone I call “my zen guy” and who wound up looking like an actual zen master named Taishen Deshimuru. I mention it because of just how similar he appeared, although the living Taishen died about two decades ago….This was what I was writing about in my book just a few moments ago….
But anyway…..zen guy. I was feeling this hard spot inside of me and it caused me sadness and upset. He came to me and sat down to my side asked me “Why do you struggle? Don’t you know that all of this is happening just as it should? Don’t you realize that all of the monks and followers and aspirants all through the ages have each unwittingly had their effect by helping to create what is here now? Each devotional prayer has helped to shape this template and now it is ready for you and all of your kind to simply step into it. This is not a crevass to jump. It is like stepping outside. It is one small step. You only need to step into it to inhabit it, to be it. ” After he said that, it seemed such a simple thing; like all of this was about stepping out of an old suit of clothes into one that fit better. Thus began my thinking in terms of the Collective not just as something I felt but that was now a tangible part of life experience. On the one hand, it all seemed so big and formidable, but on the other, it seemed to simple. We get to choose whether we want it easy or hard, since we are creating it. We can, in the words of someone I recently read — we can “unfuck the world.” I know perhaps it sounds bit indelicate, but this is what is happening. We are loosening the threads that bind us and freeing ourselves…..person by person. Can you feel the sweet air of freedom?
Now, back to writing!
In my awakening, I observed that after I had removed a good deal of material from my light body, things that are old blocks or unresolved emotional issues, I found that the energy which had gone from root to crown was going other places, was starting back at the root or near it only to go back up again. I wondered – what gives? What little I DID read from the eastern information about kundalini all said the energy rises from root to crown and once there you have had the system swept clean.
Well hang on a moment. Not really. For me, it went up down and all around. What is up with that?
If you know about awakenings and how entirely miraculous events wind up being, then you can very likely guess how easy it was for me to ask that question in my mind only to get an answer in short order without even going looking for it. It is how these things go.
What I discovered was the concept in the Hindu tradition of something called the Light Body or the energy body, which was described as having etheric sheaths. It is called the Pranamayakosha and was mentioned in the previous post. This body is made up of five layers of nonphysical material and one layer of physical matter (which is the physical body). These layers are like layers of an onion. Nested into one another. This explained a lot about what I was experiencing! Being able to be present but not standing in the way of this energy and what it is doing has been the hallmark of my work in many ways. I might try to focus on some problem areas and I might congratulate myself on my progress, the truth is that an agency more than I was doing this. And good thing, too, because what comes after these clearings has been extremely helpful to me. The notion or idea that the guru is inside of you has been literally true for me as there is a self that exists here that is me but seems to have a life beyond just this one focus. Call it a cosmic parent, a higher self. from it, I can actually learn how to be, to grow, to become. This is helpful to know how to be when there may not be good mentors available.
Learning to trust this force alive in you, which is you and is the universe, will go a long way in bringing you peace and contentment. You are in good hands. That kind of perspective is very good to feel wrapped all around you. Now, the universe is free to conspire to help you the most and in the best of ways.
I will admit that like my spiritual journey, my journey through the creative has been studied, considered, and lived for many decades now. I have pondered long the nature of creativity and I have been a careful firsthand observer of it. Over the years I have had pieces of the puzzle, I knew deep down that there was a way to help make creativity FLOW instead of merely flash for a few short seconds.
When I awoke many new pieces of the puzzle came into view. When the bliss field emerged as a part of my experience more as a steady state experience I realized that what we call the human orgasm is part of a larger spectrum of bliss energy that is wildly creative and that once we awaken and can properly ride this bliss wave without falling off of it or needing to bleed it away through sexual union (this doesn’t happen in awakening, but that is itself another blog entry), this same baseline energy can be used in the same way that the flow of energy in a river is used as long as the water flows. What I am saying is that in awakening energy that is orgasmic in nature flows through every corner of your being, the proverbial genie in the bottle being released and bathing the entire body in the rich nourishing flow of what the Hindus call prana. It is the very locus of ecstasy, of expansive states of consciousness, of the very essence of self transformation and of intense, wild and wonderful creativity. Its just that in our unawakened experience that we only see this high level energy as expressed through the orgasm as being the only way to experience such high levels of energy, that we can become biased as to what is or is not possible. When you awaken, you can open up the floodgates to inspiration. Ask anyone who has gone through this experience. I know people who began writing music, writing poetry, designing clothing, artwork, etc. In my case it fueled a whole new direction for my business which was a hot glass production studio. I wrote short stories, children stories, music, poetry, and began a journal that turned into a book several hundred pages later. It has also helped to illuminate the nature of creativity as being essentially an intimate encounter with the two “opposite” forces within the body, within the self and soul that we call yin and yang.
The elusiveness of the creative state is really not elusive at all once you understand how it works. We have allowed ourselves to become alienated from a fundamental instinct or way of being that is native to who and what we are. We are operating with only half engines on full. We can in truth live in a constant state of inspiration as the next dimension of experience unfolds in experience. There is a way for the creative to flow unhindered. It involves the two seemingly opposite aspects of your being reaching unity within you. When these two forces come together, some very interesting thing happen. I have experienced ongoing creative energy flow continuously for years at a time. The nature of creativity means every corner of human endeavor is littered with creativity. Its not that art is the place where we feel creative, it is that human experience rich and rewarding moments of creativity in every single facet of experience. We ARE creativity. It is in our blood bones and nervous system and souls.
When you understand the nature of creativity, it becomes much easier. To learn more about this, read about it in my upcoming book
Waking The Infinite.
In it, I go into the relationship that both the yin and yang energies have as purely etheric and nonphysical manifestations of cosmic consciousness and how the physical body then is designed to be a perfect biological mechanism for the expression and conveyance of that energy physically. I also explain how the etheric or pranic current moves through the body and how it intersects with the nervous system, informs it, modifies and enriches it once kundalini is awakened in a more or less conscious way. I also show how the two brains that we possess themselves are mirrors of this cosmic couple and how we can in a very practical way, learn how to marry them in order to discover that moment when the two explode in that moment of genesis, the moment of inspiration. I further explain that it is possible to actually LIVE in a constant state of inspiration and what effects or benefits that this has. This is nothing short of learning how to ride a wave of bliss and wonder that these two energetic currents create when the consciousness of the individual is able to focus the energy in the arena of the conscious self. Learning this is about learning the correct type of balance of feeling necessary to generate the physical chemistry needed to support the etheric or nonphysical state that those who are interested in awakenings seek to do for themselves and for the race as a whole.
These energies are all around us all the time. They have always been and shall always be. In awakening we make a lot about how we awakened, that the energy “rose” in us. What “rose” in truth, was our own awareness of a universe that was, right out of the gate of creation, awake and aware with this vibrant boundless energy. The truth is, it has the power to change your life tremendously and for the better if you are engaged enough to recognize what it is that seems to stand in the way of your realizing this state.
So creativity will play a role in the book simply because as an artist I recognize that the power of awakening is the same power as the flash of inspiration. The sad thing is that those (including myself who am a visual artist) in the arts call it the ” flash” instead of the steady state flow or the dwelling place or something else that would suggest that the experience is continuous. What do you think the flash of inspiration stretched out into a daily experience would feel like? How do you think such an experience would change your world? (the answer, at least for me, is “radically”) The fact remains, it just isn’t a continuous phenomenon for most people and for many more of those, how to even try doing such a feat seems an utter mystery. We still are beings that find this part of our experience to be shrouded in cognitive veils. It need not be. By learning how to turn this faucet on you can learn how to bring fulfillment in your own life as well as inviting in the force that can dismantle lifetimes of dysfunction and trauma and hurt from your light body. And if you didn’t know already, the light body records ever single thing that ever happens to you, at least of an energetic and emotional nature. We are fast realizing that while the brain may be the locus of recording memories, it may in fact be more of a biological switching system for nonlocal as well as locally recorded or imprinted experiences which we call memories. The realization is fast upon us, though, that the body itself records past emotional impacts, and by learning how to erase those impacts from our energy memory, we actually free up the energy system of the physical and etheric bodies to operate in a way that is far more optimal, efficient, healthy, and clear. When awakening hits most people, they are bowled over by the experience and are in wonderment over the power of the experience. And yet, in time, people who learn how to move through their awakenings in a successful and fulfilling way find that this same intensity is itself more a steady-state experience that is the new way of being for humans. What is on offer for us is a truly incredible way to be and to feel every moment of the day. To get there is the “work” that so many talk about, which in truth is merely a surrender of those patterns, beliefs, and old feelings that stand in the way of a clearer flow of the cosmic in your seemingly tiny frame here on Gaia…..which is herself a speck in a sea of specks. And yet, even on the micro-scale, the atomic scale, everything still vibrates with knowing. This knowing may be beyond science at the moment, but everything in our world is alive. It may not be what science call sentient life, but it is certainly what the ancients observed is part of a universe that lives and breaths in its own way. When you consider that energy is conscious, the whole universe, bound together by energetic forces (an atom is mostly energy, not matter), then you can perhaps begin to appreciate the impact that this has.
After a number of months keeping the book at arm’s length, I have recently gotten back into working on it. This book, which grew out of a journal I kept to keep up with the changes taking place during my awakening experience, had just a year ago swelled to 700+ pages, which, when “cut” down to the average paperback book size meant I had over 1400 pages! Three months were spent just chopping the jungle of words so that they were more manageable. Another few more months were spent after that to re-edit the book where it was finally gotten down to under 300 “cut” pages. I am now convinced of what friends have said who have seen the book; its really about three books…..except I need to work on the first before a second or even third.
At a certain point an effort like this can become overwhelming. Toss in a little kundalini and it can get dizzyingly interesting really quick!
I have had a friend who helped me to edit the introduction mention how the beginning just doesn’t have enough juice and form to make it different from other books on the same subject. As a result, I am now taking a different approach to re-crafting the beginning of the book, which is just what I have been up to the last couple of days. This time, less is more and being able to keep the rewrite and revisions simple and more to the point without losing the magic is pretty important.
The book charts how my own awakening took place. Unlike what many Hindus and traditionalists have said, I can point directly to what triggered my awakening. It is interesting, too, since a little-known Christian document that was hidden for over 1600 years which has come to light having to do with awakening mentions the exact same scenario as my own. The book is written to show just how different an awakening can be; someone who had awakened kundalini over a decade ago who I talked to didn’t even recognize my experience as being kundalini…..and yet this is most definately kundalini! By being able to bring new information to the fore we will all benefit. The book will also deal with the issue of the quantum wave and why the left and right hemispheres of the brain are important in harnessing the full power of the universe in our bodies and our consciousness. For those who have not experienced this, my mentioning this might sound a little odd or random, but trust me; I think we are discovering (at least I have) a way to a VERY different kind of life simply by how we balance the two hemispheres we call the brain! If that makes no sense, you really need to read the book when it comes out (I will get it out by hook or crook; traditional publishing methods, self publishing, or writing them out as they did in the seventh century).
Since kundalini accelerates experience and phenomenon, its possible to experience a broad range of things in a relatively short period of time. As a result, I have been able to observe synchronicities enough to bring forth some new information about their nature and how they emerge as phenomenon connected to us even as they seem to be events happening “beyond” our control.
The book will speak to those interested in the topic and who want to work on issues that are central to awakening as well as those who have experienced the stirring of kundalini or awakening itself. I think its important to begin to have a larger appreciation for and understanding of kundalini and how it affects those who have activated it. I had a spouse who tolerated my condition but when the symptoms grew stronger, the marriage began to crumble, resulting in a very difficult time for me. With greater understanding will come more compassion and awareness, which I think is vital for helping to shepherd those individuals who may well help to guide others to a new paradigm and way of being in this age.
Waking The Infinite 