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sahin-8

Artist: Hüseyin Şahin

 

What is the merit of holding on?

 

Fists of your heart

 

clinging since before your birth

 

to what keeps the rush of the real

 

at bay.

 

Just listen to your words

listen to the secret language of your heart

 

feel it deep

 

deep

 

the luscious words are there

like a bubbling spring

 

a creek

a brook

yearning for its ocean tide

 

as was ever-written

 

on this heart of mine

-on all of ours-

 

 

that it is time to just let go.

 

 

“It is such a lonely place!”

that false heart cries

your hands clenched tight

 

where do you think you will ever go?

 

the biggest lie you tell yourself

is never as big as this one

because it was born from the blindness

which will lead you to the blazing light

where nothing can be hidden anymore

 

Where is the merit in what has always been?

Where does the new get born in such a place as this?

 

Just let go…in everything….in all of it….because of it….for it… and be free.

 

You just gotta learn how to set yourself free.

 

 

 

 

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Recently I shared some information about the issue of energetic entities titled “That Parasite.” Since writing it there has been some interest in going into this further in regards to the how of releasing these from your field.

 
There is a panoply of entities that can be drawn to people for numerous reasons, but entity attachment all boils down to one very simple factor, which is a vulnerability that is in the form of an unhealed place in the self, a repressed trauma or resistance to something that now creates a recursive merry-go-round effect that is a karmic issue.

 
I write about this a lot since it snags the majority of people on the planet and holds up the process of embodiment-learning from and becoming more like ones higher self. But this article wont go into the many types of beings except that there are as many as there are wounds in people here on Gaia. Instead, I want to focus on the core issues that I hope will lead you to your own greater awareness so that you can call upon your own resources.

There is tremendous benefit in ridding yourself of these subtle energetic influences. I know because I did it. If I can, so can you.

 

First Things First

I will begin by saying that I really do not buy into rituals or tools or trappings of any kind for energy work. I prefer a direct approach because my own healing was achieved in this way. We are souls that exist through all time and dimension-tools are not required.

Having said this, belief is a funny thing. It serves as a channel that regiments and forms experience, and if you believe you need a tool, belief will make it hard to do otherwise (unless you examine your beliefs and change them). So if a tool gets you in the right space, use it. But you have had the power all along…

 

The Two Pillars

I do feel that all of this is incredibly simple and it’s based on intent and feeling. These are the two pillars of this work. You need to be clear about what you want(intent) and you need to break out of your rational mind set and enter the magical realm of the imagination and of feeling.  This is NOT emotion.  This is your capacity to become increasingly more sensitive to psychic energy…which is the energy of your consciousness.  If you are sensitive to your own energy and can feel it, you can feel others, including the presence of others, both etheric entities and the minds of others who enter your field just by thinking of you. So this is not just any feeling, which probably sounds terribly vague. I will explain this as I go along.

Seeing It Anew

First, realize that entity removal is not hard. It can be incredibly easy. I will explain what makes it hard as well as easy.

What makes it hard is simple -it is one of several things: fear of the entity (like how we might fear a dog or an unknown), uncertainty about our ability to make the change, a spiritual/emotional wound that’s troubling, and being unable to shift awareness out of a rational “doing” mindset. Having a sense of mystery only invites fear and fear brings uncertainty and that scatters your effectiveness. There is nothing to fear or to be anxious about. This only gives the entity more standing and power. This is not a physical “fight” but a spiritual one.

It does no good to think on how Hollywood has handled entities. All of this is way off the mark. I know that there are accounts of possession by entities and the stories make their way into horror stories, but they are horrific partly because of the people, that is—the priests, who make all of this more than what it needs to be. The posture or attitude of the healer will always have a defining effect. And I will point out that most entities are simply lower astral forms, fragments and cast-off’s from humans and other forms of consciousness. Some are just undeveloped and in the process of becoming. They are simple and most often attach to people based on just a couple of emotions (most often). But how you approach them either gives them energy or sends them on their way.

What makes all of this easy is when you allow yourself to stop fearing them and see them for what they are.  They do not belong, yes, but they have also attached to you because of an opening in your field, what in sanscrit is called a samscara, or soul wound.  Your soul wound affects the consistency of your energy field, or aura, and this is most certainly tied into the major energy system known as chakras.  You can make all of this easy or hard.  If you bring fear into it, then guess what; hard!  Or even thinking that this is going to be hard will actually create a situation that is a self fulfilling prophecy.  I’d like to explain the hard stuff a little more because I think people will need some guidance on this issue.

A Little History…

Years ago my sister complained of a ghost that had been involved in some poltergeist activity in the house where we lived. It was at first hard to believe until I began to encounter  it myself. It was something like a trouble maker it seemed to me and I wondered how to deal with it. I decided, along with my sister, that we would try to contact this ghost or presence to see if we could bring a change. We drew up a make-shift ouija board on a sheet of paper, made a pointer from the ring of a flashlight and got to work contacting this being.

We didn’t have to wait long. In he came, full of bluff and bravado. We found out that he had lived in the house in the earlier part of that century and had died from diptheria. He was unable to move on…or some part of him remained. This was the cause for the psychic disturbances happening in the house and the poltergeist activity.

We probed him about why he did what he did, and clearly, he got a kick out of it. As we talked to him and explained how he seemed stuck there in the house, we noticed a change taking place over the weeks that we were in contact. I asked him if he had ever tried connecting to his higher self, had he ever thought of life beyond the house he was in? And then a shift happened. It was rather sudden but it was noticeable.  It had to do with his becoming aware of “Light”and from that time forward, everything about our haunting fellow changed. He came in and out, and was less present as he had been. He stopped the really spooky stuff he had done and seemed to be changed. The change though was sudden, like on a dime. The thing is, this is how it is with everyone (like flesh and blood people).  This is not some kind of bullshit story from Hollywood where the entity makes the bed lift up with a glowing red light under it. No.  Its like going to the dentist and he takes out a tooth and has it done before you realize its already done.

 

And one small aside….when my sister and I did our contact using our home made board, we didn’t light candles.  We didn’t dim the lights.  We did everything out in the open, full daylight because HOW YOU FEEL has everything to do with the outcome.  Nothing ever got weird or scary because we never went there.  We were just with someone who got a kick out of scaring people probably because he was bored stiff and stuck like a tick without any guidance that he was stuck. You see, once you die, time changes.  Years can go by and you have no clue.  You are out of that space time flow, even though you are coincident and focused on that place you are stuck in. And this wasn’t the whole soul of the person, it was simply an aspect, a single lifetime or a part of that person. This is most often how “hauntings” actually are.

The poltergeist stuff stopped and there has never been any more activity since we had our chats. It is perhaps for this reason that I think that a lot of what we think as scary and mysterious is only this way because we are feeding that emotion into it. And the only thing I would do different now is I wouldn’t need to use a board for contact, I would simply talk to his soul. I have known for years that there is almost always another story. I think that this experience set me up to be able to approach things the way I have, and its been very succesful.
In awakening the issue of lower dimensional entities came up in my awakening and I am here to share what I have learned, stripped as bare as possible of opinion or guessing.

Understanding & The Myth Of Protection

The first thing is…….Don’t fear them. Instead, understand them. Know what motivates them if you want to heal and release them. Is it fear that they like to create? Is it anger? Is it sexual energy? Self loathing? Whatever it is, the entity feeds on you when your wound is activated. And a wound is most often a trauma or experience you never got over and suppressed it where it then festered and created a problem of emotional dysfunction of one kind or another. It is, though, buried, and takes a good deal of grace to tap into to learn more about. It takes honesty. You will often known what emotion they feed on because of your reaction.  Is it over the top?  You might want to look more closely at that!

The more you heal these wounds, the fewer hooks these entities have to grab you with.Healing makes your energy field “slick” so nothing can snag it or grab hold. This is why I explain that most efforts people make to shield or protect themselves is simply nonsense. It’s bullshit. Sorry, but it is. The concept of psychic protection is pretty useless when you consider we are all one, all connected, related, and live in and communicate through a vast network or field of energy that is the body of the Prime Creator, or all that is. Everything we do is in truth like an open source event where the information is open to all. Certainly the self can choose to hide or create a notion of privacy in the physical, but the ether is not made this way, you see. Its all in the open.

The way to protect yourself is to raise your vibration so that lower  entities can’t latch on in the first place. This requires hard work and soul searching. Know thyself. And now to know the beings…

So lets say you don’t know what the entity’s game plan is, its own personal zeitgeist. Can you identify how it makes you feel?  If you can do that, you can know more both about your wound and what the entity feeds on. You simply observe. Watch over time and garner a good series of observations. The trick that gets played is that of second guessing, “Was that me or an influence from an entity?” You will know through observation—do you feel like you lose control over an emotion easily? While not a test that is 100% accurate, it can point you in the right direction often.

I once had a spouse who had, and still has, an entity that is latched on to her that feeds on her anger. I could feel it when the entity came alive in her because there was a distinct heaviness that would fill the room that differed from her own usual vibrational signature. Her emotional outbursts were also much more prolonged when this entity came forward or was activated. When I mentioned my observations to my very sensitive daughter many years later (we talk about this stuff sometimes), her face lit up—she had felt the same thing. These are not our reactions to an action in a person, they are perceptions. Learn to tell the difference and trust your feelings.

Sometimes an entity will be attached to a given center or chakra in the body, but they will be attached to a center only because there is a block or wound there. By knowing or feeling them there, you can read up on what that center is all about and then consider that the block or wound is resistance to the perfect positive flow for that center. A heart block could be resistance to compassion, love, or self-love in some way. It could cause anger, frustration, sorrow, all depending on the nature of the original first event of resistance that created the wound or block in the first place.

Some entities, you might notice, will move around in the body (those most closely associated with the body types). In the early stages (first three years) of awakening some of you will feel them as though they are physically moving around inside your body (this is also part of seeing or sensing objects or movement in your peripheral vision that often looks like shadows). I know how that sounds, but it is much ado about nothing. But until you clear them, you may feel sensations like something moving. And if not moving, then other energetic effects. I would not describe these as real as if it was physical, but is more “like,” or “as though.” You will of course sound completely crazy to any “normal” person who has had no experience along these lines.

These sensations are an attempt by the brain to translate messages it gets that are from the pranic side of our experience. It is translated into something that makes sense to us at a sensory level (and so the range of effects can be broad potentially). Regardless of how the entities present themselves, they remain until you heal enough to remove them.You can also remove them and then heal faster. There are numerous other sensations possible, and if you use your feeling self, your inner senses, you can become more adept at feeling their movements or presence. The only advantage in doing this is to understand them and yourself by knowing or being more aware of what is happening and where to focus healing.

Some entities are not so much in the body as associated with it.
Realize that these beings do not orient themselves with respect to physical reality the way we do. Theirs is a world measured in intensities and feelings. There is no distances for them, only relationships. They ride streams of energy the way a radio broadcast rides on a radio wave. They move through time like we move through space. Some are connecting to you through multiple lifetime streams. Some are generational and are tied to sometbing nown as family karma. Often the women of a family will have one kind of entity while the males will have a different kind that are often similar to one another. They will often grow to attract people who have entities like the women in their families. These will not be related through direct energetic lines but will be related only because the samscaras in everyone in the family are so often related. The beings do not create the wound, you do. They are in many respects multidimensional and slip between worlds because they do not take bodies by incarnating. They instead take up residence in your own body or field. Their landing pads can be our bodies. 
They are in the process of learning how they can be autonomous and able to draw sustaining energy from the universe…whether they know it or not. They will learn quicker if we offer them the opportunity through support to know their connection to Source. I am suggesting that you at least help them in being more aware…..to the degree that they are able.
I dont think you will be used to hearing his message given in this way, but the time for “fighting” demons is over. This type of process will always lead to trouble. This paternal or more male way of approaching it has run its course. We are now bringing in the power of the feminine aspects of the self, and this means that instead of pushing them out, we now pull hem in and help them transform. Instead of being pushed out, we pull them up and help them transform. Instead of pushing out, we coaxe them up and thus out. They are given the awareness that they are connected to Source…and without putting them on the defensive, we give them a gift. We dont struggle and fight, we bring peace and perspective. The old way is based on an incomplete understanding how things can be.
True protection is in not having an enemy to fight. The message that the Matrix movies struggled to say is that there IS no war except the one we are creating…but they fell short…so close…and when Neo overcame the Smiths by embracing them and their system in order to seed that part of ourselves with new awareness. Well…they were so close, but the fighting raged on because the writer was stuck in the old even as he was trying to embrace the new.

There is some suggestion that kundalini/awakening serves to create a sheath of protection around you. The Gnostic tradition goes into it.  This is old stuff. Its also not correct either. You are simply more aware now, or potentially so. I know numerous people who many years into awakening continue to harbor these presences. One is on her way to being a healer while carrying around two very troublesome entities. Its easy to think you have suddenly become a master of the universe when you awaken while not tending to removing these things. Doing so, though, accelerates your own development and helps to drop your reactivity to a host of issues. It can, in some cases, change the nature of events.

I once had a worker who had an entity not unlike one that I removed from the person I once thought was my soul twin. I swear, it was like some kind of convention. The whole time he was working for me the strangest most innexplicable things would go wrong to shut down production for weeks at a time. It was persistent and chronic and did not change until he quit working for me. While this was going on, I was having dreams that were showing me the subtle ways that these more advanced beings control events by hooking into our energy and the space/time flow of our lives. And why? To what end? To keep up an environment that is what they like or are familiar with. If you were born in strife and only knew strife, you too might seek strife unknowingly. You might create opportunities for it to occur only because its a pattern that is familiar to you. This is one way that they operate. Its really about what their comfort level is. Its upsetting to us because much larger parts of us are healed and intact, with only portions of ourselves having a weak spot, which is where these beings are attracted.

The Role Of The Healer

A healer can help if they themselves do not bear a similar wound as the person they are healing. Otherwise, they will be ineffective. It is also possible that they dont know how to remove them. It is  possible to attract a healer who has similar problems as you, in which case whatever needs healing probably wont be healed in the way you had hoped. It is also possible to attract the perfect healer for that moment.
The healer who worked with me explained that she saw definite patterns or correlations between what she was working on and the clients who came to her over the years. Bear in mind, her business was built on word of mouth, she does very little to actively seek out clients, they instead seek her.
When she was dealing with ghost phenomenon, she was having a lot of clients who were having “ghost” issues too. When she was able to resolve the issue she was having with this phenomenon, the people with ghost issues also went away. This happened over and over for her and helped her to see how the world becomes like a mirror to us.

What a healer does best is by communicating via the body-the light body to be exact. What they do is they read you, see where the problem is, and then they show through feeling how you can feel without the entity there. This is what my own healer called “surrogating.” She didnt have entity issues because she had done the work to get there, so she could supply the feeling telepathically of what a clearer field feels like. This is one of the central skills of a healer. It is also why I do not seek healers, I ask for the healer who is in my highest to come to me. I dont  push the river. But when I do it this way, miracles happen. I have had some of the best and most perfect healers appear in places that are almost unvelievable. Two out of three of these healers wound up either teaching or working within a few blocks from my home, for example. When I give up control the universe is free to create with me the most optimal and perfect type of events to help move me to the next step or level. By trusting in the wave in pranic force, you can have amazing things happen that feel miraculous only because they happen so fast and are so easy. You just have to be open to it and have no beliefs that compete with it that will muddle or throw the energy off. Anyone can do this. It is simply going from seeking/initiating to receiving/allowing.

She and I communicated energetically like everyone does all the time in day to day life (and are often unaware that they are doing so) but in this case she was focused very simply in her state of freedom when the healing work was being done. I began picking up on this because I was receptive to what she was doing. It is true that this kind of healing can happen while enjoying a cup of coffee, or talking on the phone. Most of the healing was done at a distance of thousands of miles.

All of this is being done at the level of energy, and energy is nonlinear, has little or no mass, and is not always bound by space/time. This means healing can be done very easily from a distance.

Receptivity is important on your side as the one being healed, just as the healer being neutral is important on their end. By neutral I mean that they are not getting an ego boost from this work. Receptive means your intuitive mind is active and you are feeling and not being stuck in your head with strings of rationalizing. You get empty and quiet, save for a sense of excited expectation. You get into body focus, the domain of the light body, which is where feeling resides. You are ready.

Then the healer swaps your perception….by their simply being them. You might not even know this is happening because we are all so used to being in our heads. You have to relax and let your guard down. This will not feel foreign in any way.You probably wont notice it. It is like a dance teacher who uses their hands to show you how to move your leg, or arm, for example. The move will be completely your own….just as how you feel will be completely your own as well.

Then, if you are ready to make a change, you will begin to be aware of the entity (s) in some way. This might happen right away, it could happen later, or in dreaming. Whatever avenue is best suited to your turn of mind, it will come.
Once you see them as they are, these beings cannot stay if your desire is for them to leave. The very act of awareness on your part begins the shift into healing and the vibratory rate changes (often piecemeal, but it changes nonetheless).

The healer lets you remove these by way of this new awareness they have given you. You are the healer. And this is the mark of a good healer; they bring you awareness and you do the rest. They are reminding you how you can feel inside by associating with you. And Their field of energy is used as a template, a reminder, for how you can be or feel. It is this change that is the initiation of healing. We pattern our children in the same way just by how we feel. Yes, actions count, but this persistent field of influence has a significant effect on people, you see.

This is why I can, for example, trigger the ability to see auras in another person, something that has happened a number of times in the past. It is merely a transmission of a pattern of energy that a person accepts. It is almost like a piece of code that then runs in them the same way it ran or worked in me. It is also how awakening energy is “transferred” from person to person. It is receptivity to a pattern, a line of code that gets taken on and allows for something new to be experienced. In many ways this is the fastest way to awaken, which is to be around the awakened. Just be aware of how you are attracting. If you attract based on something unhealed in you that is not healed in them, this can get magnified or reinforced during awakening. It isn’t always that a pattern is being transferred, but that there is something in common that gets magnified. I have found this happening to me in a soul connection, which was extremely difficult, and led to my having to part ways with this person because of how hard the hurt that was unresolved was. It pays to be observant of the deeper dynamics. Your feeling self, that clear voice, will tend to guide you very well if you don’t over think it.

Miraculous healings are the result of changing large sections of this “code” in ourselves. It can lead to immediate changes. Sometimes the healer does something to create a trigger point for the acceptance of the change….it could be belief, it could be ritual movements,crystals, music, beads, just about anything. Really, anything will work if faith is put into it. Faith or belief becomes the portal for change. But objects are not necessary; awareness of energy and seeking the highest is. Remember Jesus saying how it was the faith that had healed the man? That is the same thing taking place.

These beings do best when they keep their head low. They often fly under the radar. They cant rock the boat too much or they could find themselves homeless, so they often try to keep in the background..
I know people completely unaware that they harbor an entity. Not all are expressly negative, but they will always be holding a person back from greater growth in some way.
For some of you, you might feel like an entity most certainly does not fly under the radar, but this might well be because it is being triggered so frequently. Deep down, these beings don’t know how to be any different. Also, this level of activity can point to how active your own wound is.

When my healer began to talk with me over the phone, we were talking about the issue while I was driving in the car. It was a suggestion she made that I would become aware that an entity was there. Before she could finish her sentence, up popped a face in my third eye. I was surprised that it would work so fast. The face looking back at me didnt look human, and boy was it pissed! My inner sight showed five presences there with one main being resting near my heart center. As soon as I saw them, really saw them, they were gone. I describe them like pigeons being shooed out of an attic space. Gone! And they have never returned. The being that was mad was angry for a brief moment and was angry because it had been discovered, really seen.

Go Beyond Reason

The way forward is to claim your power. This is not an aggressive act or done out of anger, its simply what is yours. Part of this is learning how to navigate through the ether field. You have to get out of your head, out of your reasoning mind, because the universe only responds to feeling. The more you can feel, the better able you can understand this world within you and in the things of the world.

When I say feeling, I dont mean emotion. I mean your capacity to register sensory information internally (nonphysical inner sensory data) and learn how to distinguish between your feeling and that of the ether or universe. You use feeling to learn and discover what exists in this field (a limitless library of information).

This is the opposite of reason, you see. It is a state of receptivity, and feeling allows you to create a living form from the universe within you. This is how it is done. The more you bring in imagination, the more vivid the thing is that you have just picked up on and received.
You can do this in regards to your own healing and for learning more about these entities in order to release them.

The best way to do this is to explain to them that they have a direct connection to Source, that they dont need to be attached to you in this way, and that by letting go, they can begin to discover limitless energy. Hold space for the highest to happen, that they might grow interested in what this light is all about. Imagine their connecting to their higher self and see them merging into light.

When I removed the entity that had dogged “twin” for so long, this was what I explained to it before sending it on its way. I connected to its mind and explained what an amazing new world awaited it. It needed to find its own connection to Source so it could have all the energy that it needed. Then, I just felt this very sure and powerful force rise up through me that was like an opposing magnetism to this being. I increased the field strength until it moved far away.

This being did return, though, the following day, but because twins energy and mine were entangled, the entity could not get through. I simply repeated the same thing, entirely through feeling, that repelled the being for good.

If efforts at clearing an entity dont work, it is often because you have yet to find the point of contact (or your own wound). Find that and heal it and there is nothing for the entity to grab hold of. In the mean time it might play on your fears to keep the condition stable for it but unstable for you. You deal with this by not falling for whatever the emotion is, and by being ready to change the pattern.

Visualization work and affirmations can be helpful if those affirmations carry a desire or intent for real change. For as much as twin said she was tired of the entity, she also admitted that it was something of a guilty pleasure. By removing the entity, I gave her enough room to begin working on what that rather broken pleasure was about. But as a healer, I dont get to decide how the other heals, they do. They are the healer.

State of mind is central to all of this. Feeling and receptivity are foundational. Seeking the broken place and releasing it will knit you back together. Seeking the highest and asking for it while being open to the univere bringing it is huge. Get out of the rational mind and into the expansive cosmic mind. Use that to begin learning about the etheric. Meditate. Learn how to do breath work for relaxing and centering into cosmic mind. Ask. Then wait. Ask to be shown. Keep your eyes open.

There are many very good ways to release trauma, the source of these issues. I have a good trauma release exercise HERE . Chi Gong is helpful as are other forms of movement to free up emotional armoring. Body work such as deep tissue massage with an energy worker can do wonders. Reiki in some cases can help and cranio massage therapy can be deeply healing by teaching you to trust. Acupressure can be good if you have a well attunef attuned healer, and there are healers like my own who dont even need to touch to do their work.
Now, I realize that this may not e enough for some of you, so a simple exercise is in order. I want ou to et comfortable and allow yourself to get relaxed. I want ou to breathe through our nose and out through your mouth. These breaths need to be deep and long. You should pause two to three seconds at the top and bottom of each breath. You should do this for about five minutes. If you find it hard to remember what you were thinking about moments before, this is an excellent sign that ts working. You need to breathe until you feel relaxed and calm. 

The next step is to begin to take an inventory of your body. You need to begin to feel for all of the places where you feel tightness or resistance. Dont second-guess yourself: if its in your big toe, take note of it. And dont worry if there are a lot, just take note of it. These places will be where you will need to begin by focusing your breath into those places. Doing this helps to send a stream of prana into the block. If you do this diligently, each day or three times a week, you will find success. Envision the tightness as being loose. 

Then, by inducing shaking into the core of the body, and breathing deep, you can begin to peel away the layers of stored trauma bit by bit. This technique can be found on Youtube. There are dozens of these videos by numerous practitioners. It can be done lying on your back and letting the shaking do its work. As you move along, you will develop greater awareness of what is happening in your body. This will take time, but it will likely become one of the most important work you will do.
By using intent, and feeling, and the technique I just described, you can begin to be the master of your own being.

I hope this helps. I hope it can lead you to work that will give you the confidence necessary to take you to the next step, to the next level. Being able to enjoy your life is so crucial, and being able to clean things up some is one way to begin doing that.
Until next time, my bearers of light…

My religion is the wind swept plains, the tea shared on rainy days with wordless joy passing between us. It is the pulse within me which finds the pulse of the universe as I find them the same. My religion has no beliefs but is filled with presence, and a joy that grows ever-bountiful. Like a hermit I live, and every moment with those whom I love grows more precious by the day. 

My heart is filled from a deep well from within as it’s waters never lessen or subside. I do not have to believe anything when what I know burns and flows with a power I just can’t tell. But I do wish the world could know this. But until then, I do the curious things we creatures do and find excitement in the simplest of things. This eternal flame of a presence contents me and rouses me to a new life.

I wish it were true that love is found in another, but this pulse of life that animates my awareness says this is not so. We must find this love first within us if we are to know it in another… for how else could we ever love them rightly, speaking such different languages which we want to call love. No, I must first overflow, be so enlivened and filled that it will ward me off from loves mistaken, loves that seek to take and make others responsible for what we truly each must find for ourselves. It’s been one of my latter realizations that I am here building a vibrant love inside myself so grand that its often hard to stand. But I do, and sigh into deeper folds of its mesmerizing wonder.

I am left utterly stripped of belief, and naked as I am, I am so much closer to the one that animates and guides. Listening quietly, I do wonder that if this is all there is, how grand that I may have just come to it, ready for the consummating kiss that is it’s promise made somewhere hidden in the folds of our bridal chamber.
I do not believe, but I bear the riches of the heart of religion. I have the temple without the priests. It is the deepest and most holy of the mysteries, and it is the only one you ever need to know to see how it alone reveals the rest. She bids me enter her most sacred of mysteries. She shows me where her lover meets her which is in the triadic chamber of my heart. No priests or priestesses, no law, no guess work. No prophets, no holy wars. No hymns, save my warm breath and yearning. No candles, save the flame of it all, and no opinions, no pronouncements in the deep chamber that is my soul knowing itself.

To love that the divine moves in you is no sin but sacred. To know beyond all dogma is a healing hand. With just a glance my whole life opens to it with no eventuality ever being just sheer chance. To honor the love that lives in me is to love and honor how masterfully I was made…and I do hope that you find this soon, too, so we can share Summer’s last fading light with tea and thunderstorms and the honor of pure religion flowing in our hearts.

There are few people in our experience who have as powerful presence in our lives as family. So foundational, so basic to who we are. Most often people, like our parents, serve to show us something incredibly important about ourselves. Most often, though, we often view our parents with a mixture of love, frustration, joy, and hurt…and we pull away when we see the negative aspects in them, and us, coming. Parents, though, can show you right where your own fractures are. You just need to know how to see them. Most often, when things go bad, we focus only on the wounds that we feel, as some form of victimization in some way or another. We didn’t get enough of something, or got too much of something else. Lying behind our shadowed experiences with family lies a rich bed of truth, and only when you are brave enough to suspend your own personal misgivings about them, can you reach into this truth about yourself. 

Hurt or feeling a victim is itself a snake swallowing it’s tail; it continues until you choose to step out of this feeling, this self-chosen definition of who you think you are. This is not easy since feelings associated with childhood go so far back. It’s a hard habit to break. But it’s possible to step out of the vortex of your own pain or hurt in order to know these deeper truths. There is little else that heals as quickly your own issues which are often called the mother and father wound.

Many years ago, in 2009, I was assisted by a brilliant intuitive in what was a guided imagery exercise deep into my early feelings when I was a child. That experience was one of awareness about my own investment in a feeling as an infant that led me to seeing the root of the problem I had instead of just seeing or feeling the symptoms, the surface, of that old wound within myself. 
So often, we hold our own emotions at a distance so that we never really examine them or understand them all that well. What I was guided to do was to reach into my memory of feeling during my first year of life. This was so early a memory I did not experience any identifiable memories, but instead the memory of a feeling.
With a father dying from cancer, my mother was suddenly facing being alone with 4 children to care for. I was just over a year old at the time. Just a baby, really.  I didn’t get what I knew that I needed. It formed the core of a wound that followed me every day of my life. As a baby, all I knew was that I wasn’t getting what my inner compass told me that I needed. It was out of this mismatch that my wound emerged. Was it because I wasn’t loveable?

The guided imagery, which expertly took me deep within myself, allowed me a level of comprehension that I had l lacked up until the session began. I had always assumed that the core of my feelings were just too buried in memory and they weren’t accessible. No matter how early these things occur, we all have the information within us. Instead of conscious memory, my guide took me deep into feeling, a path whose comprehension is as fresh as can be.

This experience showed me that behind the tangle of upset lay deeper feelings I hadn’t fully examined. The first stage in the healing was in simply understanding how I felt. No more arm’s length. There was more there that I had hurriedly hidden away within myself that kept a fuller understanding at bay. It was brilliant because as soon as I did this, I was then able to see things as they were, or more so where my Mother and I were concerned. I saw my Mother in a way I had never seen her before. This enabled me to forgive not just her, but myself for having clung to this old feeling for so long. I felt foolish for making her responsible for my own misgivings. I was not aware nor in harmony with the flow of events. I suffered as a result….for years.

The result of this work was that it cleared an old karma of mine and also of my Mother’s. She felt guilt because she knew I had been at odds with her, and I had felt anger towards her for something I didn’t get. This was a self-reinforcing problem until I snipped the loop of the snake. The change was instantaneous.

This changed our relationship for the better. I saw her differently and felt differently, too. It was a liberating experience. I was able to see beyond my own mess and her load was lightened from then on. It was one of the biggest reliefs I had felt in my life. It’s hard to realize how these feelings weigh us down and shutters our awareness.

Healing these wounds are critically important to substantive spiritual growth and gets at fundamental issues about ourselves that are less about the victim and more about seeing things as they are. When you can do this, feelings can be changed forever. Until you do this work, you are in truth only running from yourself. It’s about you, and less about them. It’s more about your reaction, and less about what they did. Divine forgiveness sweeps through your entire being and completely erases the trauma or hurt that you had stored there. A new chapter can then be written in your life that changes everything based on the healing of the hurt for all time. It never returns when healed in this way.
While there might be other issues floating in the ether, these become easier to heal and let go. You can reach a point of bold curiosity and desire to do more of this work. To do it, you often must forget what you think you know.

You can’t forgive with your head and expect healing to come.This must come from all parts of you. It is what healing these things that makes healing so huge for you. Everything else is just trimming weeds. The process I went through was unconditional and took me to the core, to the hidden root of the problem.

My daughter and I clowning for the camera recently


Years later I was able to see how during a divorce, my children were being polarized into anger over how her mother was acting. Yes, she had been emotionally abusive. The mother of my children began to engage in inappropriate behavior by indulging in what is called in psychiatric circles as mobbing behavior. Mobbing happens when someone decides they hate another person and tries to turn other people against the targeted person through a campaign of criticism and denigration. Healthy people will know better than to let their own upset get the better of them, especially in a divorce where children are involved. But in cases of mental instability or abusive tendencies, a parent can engage in a campaign of seeking to alienate the target just to get back at them, to try to destroy what they hold most dear; their children and the relationship they have with them.
In the case of one of my children, she found that what her mother was saying was untrue due in part to because she chose to retain her own sense of self and willingness to be objective. Because she was willing to spend time with me, she was able to very quickly  see how what her mother was saying just didn’t hold up. This is where this type of campaign can backfire on the parent who is engaging in the denigration of the other parent, resulting in a child who sees through the deception with a broken sense of trust, with resentment that often follows.
 
Yes, she could have wound up hating her Mom. Had I been like her Mother, I could have taken this and run with it. I knew though that the future of my child’s coping skills hinged on her having a good relationship with her mother and myself.  I urged her to forgive, and the amazing thing is, she did. She forgave and she forgot.

This is how this work goes. To be free, you have to release all negative feeling in order to be able to move on with greater happiness. It’s the holding on that causes us to suffer and keeps us not fully healed. It transforms how you see the person who hurt you and it’s instantaneous.
The difference between my one child who took the bait his Mother was feeding him and my daughter who was more willing to find out the other side of the story is like night and day. It’s hard as a parent to know how you are setting up a child for failure in their life when you succeed in getting a child to believe falsehoods about the other parent that serve to make a normal relationship impossible for the child. This child now has the classic symptoms of parental alienation which include depression, anxiety, anger management issues, and difficulty holding down jobs or completing long-scale tasks like graduating from high school, or completing a college program. Children of alienation are unable to form lasting relationships and tend to move around a lot, from relationships every few years, as well as changing jobs every few years. It is always the problem of the school, the boss, or significant other. 
While you should never stay in a bad situation with toxic people, the people so abused do not have healthy coping skills, which is the legacy that this type of abuse nails to the hearts and minds of children like this. I can tell you just how tragic it is to have not just a spouse engage in this denigration against you, but to have a once-loving child swept up in this terrible outcome. So you can see how important it was for me to make sure that my child could have the benefit of the love and support she so badly needs in order to grow up more whole and healthy as an adult.

When I began the session with my intuitive, I had no idea where we’d wind up. Neither did she; she was being led in large part by her own gift, and this is how her work often is. It also is what makes her so incredibly successful in her intuitive work with people. It helped to transform my relationship with my own Mother, and has led to a happier and more joyful life. This rising tide will lift all boats. 

I encourage you to do this work because it’s so basic and foundational, and can have the power to change so much  within you that has been a problem or stumbling block  for years. With help like this, difficult problems can be changed in an instant when you are ready and have excellent guidance from a gifted person like I had.

Family is so important to us and for us. Being able to transform the nature of something difficult into something positive is a truly beautiful thing. It touches on your and their lives as well as your siblings, if you have them.

For anyone who would like to explore this work more in-depth, I am happy to share her contact information. Just drop me a line or request it to find out more.
P.

I have been working on a renovation project this week that has included taking down parts of an old shed roof over a deck. It might surprise you to know how boards will look after sitting under roofing shielded from the sun. They can actually char. Low steady heat does the same job as sudden flames. 

I rather think that this is like how we are… how, over lifetimes, this slow burn accumulates until it is so ripe, so full and cluttered, we can stand it no longer. Or some part of us can’t.

Our troubles

accumulated,

Our wounds so deep-

furrowed,

triggers something

It can come like a sigh

often  a sudden realization

this can’t be all there is…

we cross over the borderlands

the no-mans land

filled with the remnants

of lifetimes worth of the dried

and charred tinder

the misappropriations of our spirit

ready for the kiss of fire

to set it all aflame.

Just like that, the house burns down.

Our hopes and plans, up in smoke…

along with our lies  
cleverly assembled to look like castles 

but are only  vain glory.

The moon never shone more brightly after, 

nor the rain more precious

every drop now

an explosion

or a tease

….a world waiting to explode.

Seems you must lose it all to gain all 

only because we all lie like that 

and bury them as though they mean something

until of course we burn for real

and immolate until the blaze is enough to illuminate,

purify,

and simplify the work of the sacred arsonist 

who rests in every heart and waits 

for when the alarm sounds and 
our world is set to flame.

It is ever thus

that souls are carried home

by the fire of the Holy Ghost 

Whose sweet destruction returns us each

to what is true.

It’s the love that prevails.

What a night.  I was up late because I fell asleep, but then awoke, momentarily refreshed and unable to call on the deep trance of dream.  Caught between, my mind was a flurry of waking dream images, a vast rumination running on autopilot. Like a psychedelic trip without the disorientation.


 

The Line

Dissolved

Between here

And there

Sleep

And waking

Dream and dreamlessness….

 

This dissolves

It’s a solvent

ripping apart

taking down

those boundaries,

setting in place

A poetry of soul

Self

And bone…

 

So many weep,

holding the remnant masks

grieving

For a nothingness

that came from itself

And dissolves back to its origins.

 

Rejoicing,

The soul rises

to its paradise

lying folded between the leaves

of lost pages

unknown

unseen

until the boundaries fall away

the mountains,

the walls,

the illusory beliefs…

as the book blooms

into a world of sweetened scent

and wonder

for the hidden

now revealed.

 

Your images fleeted through me

(she lay cuddled over him arms tucked in)

The words and sounds

Both of laughter

(She sits up, taking him in)

And wonderment,

Secrets only you knew

(Like a radio star; she received in pulses so fast)

Fleeted through an emptied house…

(Uncertain and dizzy with desire)

as images emerged,

Like a full-on psychedelic experience

Driven by dream

(And desire)

Focused through waking.

 

Strangers moved

Indexed

Stored

Released

As my mind

Balanced between worlds

Watched in wonder

As it all slipped through

My hands

like a great rushing stream.

 

My mind does not know what it means

Nor always to whom it belongs

It all becomes

Noise…

A flurry of images

From personal lives

The soul

Linked into realms of light.

I listened as I heard the peculiarly loud vocalization last night

that sitting here now,

I hear the man next to me chirping out

exactly as it had come

in a time that came backwards

from the way it usually comes.

 

What secrets do any of us think we hold in worlds such as this?

 

But for purposes

I wonder

The chaos of our world

Slipping through the radio of my mind

As the daily broadcast is ruminated

By minds other than my own

As my own can only guess

At the glue that holds them together.

 

The desire

The greatest one

Is what holds it all together

Even as none of it makes sense sometimes.

Sometimes it all just comes so fast

So furiously

Meaning meant for another self inside

While the mind just cannot grasp

Nor should it,

I think.

 

It is what it is

Assigning importance

Robs it of its reality

 

All our masks are lost

I think

To the deep river of time,

and as they do

you too will see as I have seen

as the veil thins

not between worlds

but in the world of the self

which sees all worlds.

This has become the unexpected summer. I was only a week out of teaching my classes after the semester ended that I was handed the opportunity to work with a crew of people during half the summer which quite unexpectedly gave me a brilliant insight into the nature of our own suffering as human beings

A stone heart, one of many I have been finding on my journey that sits in my flower garden
 Now I know how that might normally sound, but in my case it was a golden opportunity to see how I had been affected in the past, and how I could choose to go forward (differently) from where I was in my own journey now.

I had a front row seat in seeing how this group of people followed the programming from childhood that had them in all sorts of tangles. I had the odd feeling like this was all for my benefit. Watch what they are doing the voice suggested to me. These men’s lives were in many ways a mirror with my own. Since nearly every problem we face winds up being rooted in love (or lack of it), we are as a species very similar in many basic ways. I saw how same backgrounds, same childhood dramas helped to mold their lives based on how they “fell into” the beam of certain ways of feeling about themselves. As I saw this, I felt all of my old material rising to the surface. When this happens, I have learned that people who are compliments to that energy start crawling out of the woodwork. No, these are NOT mirrors of us always, but often our opposite. So naturally, I began to wonder what was going to happen next in what seemed to be a production put on for my benefit. In this instance, I had the gift of perspective. I buckled up and watched the show.

And then?

And then my ex showed up behaving in a way I can only describe as her usual mean old self. This was that same old meme. But in my role as observer, I was determined to do this whole thing differently.  I was actually ready. This time I didn’t respond to what was clearly a provocative move to try and wound me, to do as she had so often did in the past, which was to drag me down to her level. So I didn’t respond to my own old program, samsara, or karmic glitch. I just resisted and it hung in the air there….and? 

And then something happened. 

Something inside of me began giving way. I could feel the blocked energy behind it break free like a solid little knot which softened and melted away. In my energy body I felt a pain on my right side along my hip and down near the root. I was familiar with the presence of this block. It was one of the very last cluster of blocked energy to be released. After nine years of work, day in and day out, this was the hardest and most stubborn block of all blocks. It was the oldest and also the freshest of all of my blocks. It is why it has been the last to go. A day later, as I stepped out of the work van, I felt it go. I had to fight the impulse to stop and double over. I watched it as I felt a twinge the size of a bee-bee begin to rise up the meridian. It hurt at first, like passing a kidney stone. As soon as it rose up several inches along the meridian, it began to soften, and then it dissipated like a tightly clustered spark expanding outward into smoke…and then nothing. Poof!  Would there be more?

In perfect timing, I opened the book I had bought on a whim a few weeks before, by Osho,  and on the page I had opened to, he was saying how we should try an experiment…to not respond to anything that normally would be upsetting and then see how our energy  changes. Just try going through one day where you don’t respond to the things that happen during a day. This came as a confirmation that I was on the right track. Then, a few days later there came another effort to try and rattle me. It was, most certainly, unnecessary, and it would have pulled me down with the ship, dwelling in this negative space I had come to know so well in the past. I remained calm and didn’t respond…and suddenly I felt something give way in me that led to a release of this stored material. An old connection also lost its power to activate me as it had done in the past. This connection, most certainly karmic, had been a mine field of unresolved issues in the past… and they all played into my reactionary self. By staying out of it and doing my work for me on my own, healing came so much faster. It was yet another epiphany moment. I have learned that each time these releases occur, they correspond with a change with material reality. How so? The saying that we create our own reality can nowhere be better illustrated than in moments such as these. It seems uncanny, yet I have hundreds of events just like this one that have happened over the years since I embarked on this journey to retrieving the authentic self. Events begin to match the inner landscape.

Over the following weeks life bloomed in unexpected ways in the wake of this. Stores of energy were put to manifesting a life that mirrored these inner shifting tides in me. 

The crew I was working with then began telling me their deepest secrets. It was the strangest thing. The timing was what was so unusual. This began the day after this last release. Each began to tell me directly the reasons for all the things I had been witnessing in both the ether and in their behavior. It was as though their souls knew I saw them and they couldn’t help but engage with that type of awareness. I wondered what on earth was happening. And then, right on cue, just a week later, the work ended right at a point where I didn’t think it could get any more woo-woo….and I was free. New work appeared without my looking for it, and what might have been seen as a loss resolved into an easy transition into a subtly different world.

As my inner sky cleared, I saw just how much clutter there was from the psychic junk that had come from others who I had let into my space. My mind clarified. My inner guidance grew clearer, and stronger. I began to see and understand how the people who had come crawling out of the woodwork  had been so obsessed and how ill-prepared they were to be honest about their junk. The difference was I no longer needed to identify with their stories. Enough time had elapsed that I simply no longer had any connection to those broken ways of being. 

I was shown by spirit how their own lack of awareness had also let in entities, these low-level life forms that serve to tie up people’s energy so much of the time. While I had removed or “cast out” these beings from the person I thought of as my “twin” some nine years previously the voice said that this is an inside job for them to resolve. 

Many awakenings are marked by the removal of these etheric influences, which help to accelerate awakening and “clear the deck” so new growth can take place.For me, this clearing had come easily with the help of a brilliant healer. Most of the time it’s hard for many people to see the influence these presences have because they feed on the very energy that is part of our own soul wound, samsara, or karmic glitch. After spirit had shown me this, it also showed me how a soul connection had behaved as she had, unable to let go, utterly obsessed. It helped me to understand the reason why things were the way they were. Somehow, after seeing this, so much made better sense. Once I understood, it quited the mystery in my own mind…which led to a still-deeper capacity to let go and just be free. I was also able to see how obsessed I had been with trying to please people who were fundamentally very unhappy people, even deeply disturbed. My glitch was that I thought it was my fault and this kept me in the game trying to bring healing, awareness, and healing. They have to heal themselves…let them do their work..it is theirs to do, spirit urged.

My own inner voice was clearer. I saw that my life was a blessing. I simply chose a different way to be. When I began relying on myself, so much cleared up that wasn’t even mine. It helped to remind me how I had taken on stuff that just didn’t, and couldn’t, belong to the self that lay deeper down. If ever there was an illusion, it was that I was trying to be a version of myself that just wasn’t authentic enough. It’s good to help others, but this must always be an act of leading a horse to the water…and that is all it can ever be.

I was around this time tapped out of the blue to make art for the Russel Senate Building in D.C. I had a wonderful weekend visiting with friends in D.C. and delivering the work to our Senator’s staffer before heading for my home in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It was a great feather in my cap and an honor since I was being selected by way of a state-wide search by their curator. I didn’t apply for this opportunity. I’m hoping they will have a reception so I can take my daughter to see the Senate Building as honored guest.

My daughter arrived after this and we spent our weeks together swimming in the pool and nearby river, mixing a new clay for a sculpture for her portfolio this Fall, seeing movies, shopping for books and going to the fair where she was able to find something so cool, it was as though it had been made for her.We saw art and she took the car for the first time ever alone after having gotten her license. Yes, I felt a twinge inside, as every parent does,  and I was reminded how glorious it was when I was given the car keys for the first time…ever. So my twinge dissolved into delight (cautious delight!).

My daughter and I share a moment of levity over the Summer together 

I revelled in being a father and saw that for as hard as I thought my life has been over the last few years, life had actually been blessing me all along. I just needed to show up for it in just the right way. It went from a perceived trouble to a wonderfully perfect life….and it was going to continue to unfold in this way.

My daughter asked this Summer if I could show her how to see auras…something that she knew I had the gift for, and have mentioned in passing in years past when asked about it. I explained to her that there is no better way for us to know that we are more than just our bodies by seeing into the world of our energetic being. I was able to show her all the techniques for seeing them and found that she was able to tune them right in. For years she has heard her Mother poo-pooing the existence of auras, maybe out of jealousy, or ignorance, or just as a way to make me seem like a kook….(and who knows what that was all about, really!) but now she will have the tools to decide for herself, despite whomever the naysayers might be.

Being able to have my daughter spend time with my mother (her grand mother) was also itself a blessing,  because she was able to see how this woman has led such an interesting life, and that my child can benefit from such a close family tie, which makes me so happy. Not everyone has this. Some people in my life have propped up these ideas spun out of their own story of hurt and cannot be in my life or my side of my family as a result. The difference now is that while I love them and miss them, I know that their story is so turned around that to deal with them in anything approaching the real is an impossibility. As hard as it’s been, it’s how some have chosen for themselves. My son was a casualty of my divorce, something that’s called Parental Alienation where he chose to believe a broken story from his Mom that was so distorted that the only way to keep  the story propped up meant having to cut out the one person who could have set the story right…(me!). This, again, was a difficult lesson in letting people who are determined to be unhappy to simply be what they want to be. This has been an extremely hard lesson for a parent because you only want the very best for your children. In the past, I mourned this loss like a death because  I had learned that when children are brain washed in this way by a parent, an authority and caretaker, most children don’t snap out of it. I had to let go and stop playing into the trap that the two of them had built around themselves. But in doing so, I felt a wonderful lightness of being. My son could be just as weird and messed up as he needed to be-it was his journey, one in which he made a very concerted effort to exclude me from. Taken like this, an even deeper love emerged. Timeless, it seemed to stand with me at the shores of time explaining that our lives are a gift given to each of us, and that each life must be lived, for good or ill, as part of our own unfolding story. Maybe that sounds corny….no, it really does…but it is true.

This goes to show to what length people will go to remain in their own hurt. It is here where the concept of the victim is used to cover a world of wrongs that they believe others have done to them….when, more often than not, they are doing it to themselves. The only problem is that none of this is as one-sided as we think. We need clear eyes if we are to be able to be really honest with ourselves. By now it’s clear how badly people need their story, and I get that now. I am left wondering what happens when all story has been dropped as we step out of our own shadow into our light? I mean, what happens when we completely shed all remnants of what held us back and made us into limited beings? I don’t know that any of us have yet dug all the way down to clear ourselves out in their entirety. Goodness knows I keep at it, but I wonder, what that will look like?

My department Chair where I work at the university recently completed her evaluation of me recently which comes around every three years, and I received a glowing report.I get to be evaluated each semester, anonymously, by my students, which is an important key to improving the teachers and the program. My evaluations from my students have been consistently favorable since I began working there. I used to hate going to grade school as a kid, so it’s a real turnabout to have the opportunity to be teaching.

I really love what I do, and it shows. I teach a class that has gotten to be very popular since it was first offered only a year ago. Using sustainable and recycled materials, we often work out in nature, a part of the class that the students love. I find that the biggest impediment to learning is how disconnected we have allowed ourselves to be at the university, and how the spiritual basis of inspiration gets lost in the mad dash to other more linear methods of performance measurement. How do you measure something like inspiration? You can’t….you can only trace the path it blazes, and this path is not always a predictable thing. Some inspirations don’t lead to a successful end product, but this doesn’t always mean that the student hasn’t always learned something valuable.

For six hours a week my students get to have fun, work hard, and discover new ways to work with sustainable materials. Their work has been nothing short of amazing. I also have students turning the assignments inside out and making them their own. Students retake the class for additional credit…because!

The piece, above, was made entirely from container plastics my students took out of the recycling bins at school. This piece was over 6 feet tall.
“Cooke” was my student who didn’t seem to want to be at school…but day by day he rose to the challenge and made work that was really great. He resisted, coming late to class, until he saw how much fun we were having…. and then he turned into a real work-horse for our group projects. The detail above is from what I call a “disco wreath” made out of plastic cups and led lights that he made. It was really something!


I’m not in the habit of posting my student’s work, but every project they did knocked it out of the park. Being able to inspire them to push beyond what they thought they could do is the single biggest reward for me as a mentor and teacher.

I have faculty who now want to collaborate with me on projects, and this only makes things all the more exciting to look forward to. It has pushed me each semester to find new ways to invigorate ways of teaching the old stuff in order to build excitement, inspiration, and great work. In the end, it only succeeds when I can provide a platform interesting enough for students to make it their own. Our lives are only as good as the content we are willing, and daring enough, to fill them with. We like to say it’s another person’s fault when we aren’t happy in a job or relationship, or a life. But the truth is, we are the ones who are responsible for our happiness. Don’t like it? Goodness me, change it! If nothing works, it might be a sign you are doing just what I did for years, which was fighting the flow of events and people. There is a much happier existence when we learn to accept…all struggle just ends and all that energy spent trying to go against the flow is now available for the bliss of a new way to create and to be.

As I work this Summer,  I hear that voice returning, telling me about the deepest love there is, how our shame has tangled us up. I was recently shown a new method for helping couples to heal themselves and their relationships by bringing a greater awareness of their true nature more to the fore. Can it be turned to the cause of helping build greater intimacy, understanding, and closeness in a relationship? I hope that it can serve as an effective healing modality. Time will tell.

It’s curious, too, as I have been working on a class/seminar for men that I’d like to offer in the future. It is based on how to revision the masculine, and how to tap deep well -springs of love in an effort for  bringing forward a more aware man.I have this curious thought that this could lead to an integrative approach to being more fulfilled as men. I have gotten more and more excited to begin this work.How do we bring such deep love to the fore so that we ARE this love? I think it’s a wonderful healing time for those who are ready to try. After a consult with someone today, I think it’s all within reach. Life has turned into a blessing and its helped to build peace and joy. We so often forget that the quality of our lives is up to us. 
It’s been an unexpected kind of summer, full of blessings that could have turned into curses had I let them. All that really changed was me. This Summer has revealed itself to be an unexpected joy…a quiet one…that I can’t help but toot my horn!

visions

Within essence
there rests a chamber
given to each
for each
a divine gift
a secret
waiting four the moment
of  discovery.
Every cell is made to know it
our mind takes its time
to find it.

A chamber
resting deep and still
filled with glory
beauty
wonder
and awe.

The way to it
is without physical direction
found only in the world of feeling-
it is beyond the world
while resting within it.

The chamber is the essence of our own Tao
who we are in our higher form
and where we return
when we are each ready.

This is the chamber of union within
where all that was done
is undone
where all that was made
is unmade
where all that was not loved
is loved
into brilliance
and bliss.

He turns in this place
no other world concerns him
his journey here
lifetimes in making
yet no life has he lived
he is self-begotten
and knows himself through
his other forms
but is himself formless
plucked from essence
and resolving into imperishability.

Illusion is destroyed here
a sense that things are separate
as union begets union
deeper and deeper
a Yantra made up of his own being
a drop in the primordial ocean
ripples outward forever into phenomena
as his bliss is known as THE bliss
as the god in him knows the god in all
as what is smallest returns to the largest
as he makes certain circles
around that which is no longer separate
but it worshipped
and loved
moment by moment by moment
like suspended particles
frozen into time
but free from it all at once.
He has a love inside of him unlike any he has ever tasted
or known
and has born dissatisfaction
in all of his manifestations
until they each wake up to the deeper truth of it
and the love that abides
and rests
in the silence of this chamber
where bride and groom
are joined.

When we are one and become two
what will each of us do?
When we are two
we return into the one.
Turning this way
in sacred circles
eyes looking deep within Her
searchlights
for what the world can become.
When the two dissolve into one
and pull and push apart
so to merge again and again
each time new realizations
born in this movement
worlds forming
of their own accord
the essence of the creative
manifesting
turning
returning
healing
churning
moving
illuminating.

Just as the God He exists
Self manifest,
She too is born
and lives
in this breathing world
and all others
for She
the Goddess
animates
fulfills
His dreaming
and creation.

Just as He is a search light
She is the All that is lit
the embrace that yokes passion
the womb that births miracles.

These two turn ’round about
each other
giving us the foundation of being.

There is nothing that does more
to crack open the dark places
than this.
Turning and churning in this capsule
beyond all time,
brilliant depths moved
far beyond any physical frame
yet touching upon them all
and seeding them silently
potently
certainly
waiting until waiting is filled
and the world of it
bursts open
new and old
and all places in-between
-a totality-
swept up within it
and transmitted through all time
and all places.
Like footprints in the sand…
Creation is realized anew in each moment
in each new thing
a microcosm
within the infinite.
The mystery
here
is made manifest
when each heart opens
to remembering it.

The essence of this feeling
which leads you there
finds you there
a place without a journey
a world within all form
awaits the union of each of ourselves
as we are brought to the All
into that which we are
each complete
but incomplete
pushing and pulling against the
opposites of our natures
and teasing out the creations
that reveal what it is in each moment.
In each moment the mantra is
love
love
love
love.

The signal comes through
enters this world
like some distant broadcast
its story changes the moment
as possibilities multiply
and creation grows fertile
with its promise
that we are it and it is us
and we meet in the chamber
and realize it is living out
its existence in our lives
in the gentle caress of the sky
the wonder of water
the warmth of fire
and the turn of days.
It is implicit in all that we see
but look for it
or dive for it
it does not matter;
it resides in the grass
it is within you
it is in all things
it simply is.
Tao-like
turning
blue and gold
cool and warm
all opposites are merged
in this place
this world
that is our own.

Touch it and touch all times
know all worlds that will be or were known
the moment freezes
becomes all moments
as a window opens
and allows you through to all times
and places
not for knowing
but for pure awe and wonder.
It exists in this moment
and all other moments
yet no eye can see
but all hearts can feel.

All of the moments of magic in my life
has been bounded by this
gathered by it
made true by it
and moved me forward
magnetic and certain
even as other scoffed
and derided
I knew the truth of it
for it was the greatest truth of all
if was my own
as I seek it fervently
hungrily
for the healing it affords
the freedom it bestows
the wonder it instills
and the fire that it ignites.

-March 19 2014

88bb78592b5eb499e4b002b0ed378f0c

 

It happens

in our world

in long-scaled cycles

that our inner lives

express something

that continues on the outside

that we each agree to explore here…..

 

The Light is about to change…

 

The Collective is getting ready for a new game

a new way

a radical turn

it will seem

to usher in a new age.

 

This happens in cycles

this turning

that we our souls direct

so that the light in us

might be perfected.

 

For reasons most will not appreciate

our adventure for the last five millenials

have taken us into the rational

as we became untrusting of our intuition

dull but smart

and forgot the deeper waters

of our knowing, being, and love.

 

It was not for naught

but it had consequences

for all of us died a little

on the day when we made our last turn

and lost something

in order to gain something…

 

We did this without grace.

We fell into pits of dark

and damnable confusions.

We forgot ourselves

as empires rose

and we forgot the tender knowing

that we called

the feminine….

in all of us.

 

As hard as that turning was

and as much as we may want to visit our wounds

I say to you

that this next turning

will be the sweetest one of all

since the Beginning.

 

For this Turning will be for each of us

and will swallow us whole

in its embrace.

It will dismember us

and take out our bones

and put in their place

a metal of greater hue and temper

and will make of us

beings ready for the greatest love

we have ever known.

 

We are about to change

each of us

and its process is underway

right now

in cities and towns

and the shimmer cannot be denied

and if denied

not for much longer.

 

The crustal plates are to realign

in our hearts

and our souls.

We have thirsted for thousands of years

and it is this shock of thirst

that has made of each of us

perfect vessels for the flood

that is about to come.

 

We have thirsted,

each of us

for Her

and we have been made perfect for the union

that our souls now

yawning wide

are ready to embrace

to take in

and be taken by.

 

We are about ready now

to see a great folding of the race

into a new way

and it will seem to take years to unfurl

but in looking back

it will have gone by in a wink.

 

SO I say to each of you;

be of great joy

for we now are each pregnant

with the possibility of Her

and it is this that we birth

not a woman

nor a man

but a fully equipped human

ready for the star nations

for hearing sweet music

touching sound

and smelling light.

We are the new humans

lurking inside of the old

a rebirth that is moving

with great certainty and pace.

What was impossible

will become likely

as new horizons emerge

as we continue to balance

between disaster and light.

 

 

 

waterish

How do I tell them

that you dwell in all of the smallest

and thus through the All?

How do I tell them how You exist everywhere

in everything

utterly ubiquitous

seemingly silent

except for how present you are?

How do I tell them

that the path to initiation

is by way of joining the

Two Currents

of thought

feeling

brain

mind

and archetype,

and that nothing less

will reveal

your presence

to them?

How do I tell them

that their religions have been poor substitutes

to the glory

wonder

and awe

that is you?

How do I tell them?

How do I utter your secrets?

The problem

is there are no secrets.

We have chosen to close our eyes

our inner-seeing eyes

whilst looking outward

through eyes made

of gross matter only

chosen that as the truth

forgetting that it was the Creation

not the soul that inhabits that Creation.

Who can be bothered to seek deeply

only to find

everything is a prop

a stage set for a story whose plot contains

a diminished message

while a deeper truth abides

curled inside of everything.

It takes real inquiry

honesty

and so simply

the doors do open…..

To know the One

focus your attention

on the smallest place within you.

At the smallest level is where

the One rushes in

and inhabits all of us

quietly

and without our permission

or knowledge

like ancestral DNA

whose voice can be heard

beneath the soft sigh of imperishability.

It is below normal awareness…..

its power is so strong

that once awakened,

you should be ready

for a new life to form

filled with meditation and practice

to working to release your inner resistance

to the work it will do in you….

thus the old life can change so much.

With the two currents awakened in your awareness

you can join two “eyes” of your being

into the one eye

which initiates a flow all through you

and undoes you

that you might know

see

feel

and abide

in your riches.

It is near the third eye where the currents

flow one into the other

naturally

continuously

and the only one who has not known this

has been your concious awareness.

This is the point or merging

opposite forces

into one

for the sake of Creation

the Dance

that returns and supports

all creations.

This is the rebirth

the ressurection

the awakening

to a new life

as though the flesh were dead

and which is now alive,

more alive now than ever.

Here,

mysteries can be known

felt

experienced

like a contiguous map

or landscape

uncompounded

consistent

whose golden thread

runs through everything

and can be illuminated

when you bring

both sides

of reason

and irrational

imagination

concrete

the warm

cold

full

void

into unity.

When these twin forces merge

everyone experiences

what can only be described

as an extreme state of bliss

that is orgasmic

and which releases

this energy all through the body

to heal

cleanse

and return it back to love

so that this bliss

is used for larger purposes

like enlightenment

illumination

and ressurection.

Here is where it begins

a fine thread

you grasp

that takes you through itself.

No images exist here

but pure spirit

will carry you to worlds

beyond this one

but straddles all realities.

The thread will take you to every answer

your mind seeks

all origins

and being.

A vast library is built of this thread

the one living invisibly within us all,

threaded through all thought,

all action,

all events,

all matter

and all that was

or shall be.

You shall inherit this

upon Initiation.

Touch this Presence at its smallest

within you

and you will know it

outside of you

through all things

for we are all connected by this thread

of golden awareness

linked to imperishability

and new life.

You do not need to believe anything.

This exists before all dogma

all belief

and will correct all wrong thought

when you submit yourself to It long enough

to wear away the stones cast into your heart

and sou…..

There are so many hurdles

Errors which we each have created

lifetimes of them

and yet

the world of them will come toppling down

when we each enter more deeply into this force

that is love

that is your emanation

your presence

your life

within us.

Join the two

open your whole being

let it invade you

and undo you.

You needn’t be afraid

for each of us who are already awake

will be standing silently within you

as your eyes open

to this new world…..

Your vision will slowly clarify

as you are healed

of your error

and you will see clearly

more and more

like swimming slowly

up from murky depths

to the light.

This can take a lifetime to clear

or only moments

and when the Two are joined

a current will begin to move in you

restoring you

to the original state.

Here,

you use both reason

and imagination

like a man and woman

hand in hand

in close union

with respect and care for the other

left and right brain

Shiva and Shakti

Yang and Yin

together

nonantagonistic

moving evenly in peace

which produces

immense pearls of bliss,

further healing you from past error

and illusions.

These things were once spoken secretly

behind stone walls

and only to the ‘elect.’

It is time

that we see

that it is time

for this teaching to be opened up for all to know

the good new spread far and wide…..

but who shall have the eyes to see?

Those who are ready

can inherit it

but only by joining irrationality

feeling

fluidity

with the rational

and solid

for the new Arrangement

to take form,

the mystical marriage

of the Alchemists.

This is the only Initiation

that has ever mattered.

Who then shall hear?

When then shall see?

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