My Best Longterm Education

I have had one main source for my spiritual education and it was found in a few books by the same author. Everything else was grazing articles and books and the greatest teacher: life.

That first book was Seth Speaks. It led to more Seth books over the years, as I eased into the very thick and cerebral material. I found the books useful because they were describing things I had already thought about or experienced so they felt familiar, and prescient, too. Unlike most writings that were said to have been channelled, the Seth books never dipped into dogma, instead they stressed that the divine was within and that the individual should rely on themselves when considering spiritual principles and work. Many beliefs, he explained, were limiting. Many were based on distorted principles handed down through the generations in some cases.

As the decades rolled on, the books haven’t just held up, new experiences have revealed other teachings to have been amazingly on point, sometimes decades later.

Seth is very cerebral, and it often takes multiple read-throughs to get the full range of comprehension. I’m not a fan of trance channels, because so much of it strikes me as contrived or soaked in dogma. It isn’t to say those psychics are wrong, but their teachings appear distorted with notions being put forward that often tow the line of a consensus reality which I had often found suspect as a result of my own experience. A lot was trying to muscle its way through my awareness even then, much of which I would find mirrored in the material that Jane, as Seth, brought forward. Okay, so to be fair, Seth talks about life after life and how we create our reality, ideas that strike some people as strange, too, so there is that.

The work is worth the reflection and the level of self reliance that is inspired by the books even before the content is even considered.

Jane Roberts and her husband Robert Butts were both involved in helping to bring the Seth material forward. It began in the mid 1960’s when Jane, who was an author, decided to write a nonfiction book entitled Improving Your ESP Powers. They tried exercises throughout to determine which ones worked and which ones didn’t. At one point in their process, they used a Ouija board and Jane found that she was anticipating the answers before they came. Jane didn’t know what to think. The personality that came through was named Seth and he would say things that were complex, nuanced, and struck the two of them as curious. Were they making it all up? Then, around the same time, while sitting writing, Jane felt as though she had suddenly tumbled down a dimensional rabbit hole. Her account which is in the first chapter of The Seth Material describes it in her own words:

It was a lovely Autumn evening. After supper, I sat down at my old table in the living room, as I always do to work on my poetry, Rob was painting in the back Studio, three rooms away. I took out my pen and paper and settled down with my 9th or 10th cup of coffee for the day and my cigarettes. Willie, our cat dosed on the blue rug.

What happened Next was like a “trip” without drugs. If someone had slipped me an LSD Cube on the sly, the experience couldn’t have been more bizarre. Between one normal minute and the next, a fantastic avalanche of radical, new ideas burst into my head with tremendous force, as if my skull were some sort of receiving station, turned up to unbearable volume. Not only ideas came through this channel, but sensations, intensified and pulsating. I was tuned in, turned on– whatever you want to call it– connected to some incredible source of energy. I didn’t even have time to call out to Rob.

It was as if the physical world were really tissue paper thin, hiding infinite dimensions of reality, and I was suddenly flung through the tissue paper with a huge ripping sound. My body sat at the table, my hands furiously, scribbling down the words and ideas that flashed through my head. Yet, I seemed to be somewhere else at the same time traveling through things. I went plummeting through a leaf to find a whole universe, open up, and then out again drawn into new perspectives.

I felt as if knowledge was being implanted in the very cells of my body so that I couldn’t forget it. I got knowing a biological spirituality. It was feeling and knowing, rather than intellectual knowledge. At the same time, I remembered having a dream the night before, which I had forgotten, in which this same sort of experience had occurred and I knew that the two were connected. When I came to, I found myself scrawling what was obviously meant as the title of that odd, batch of notes, The Physical Universe As Idea Construction.

Later, the Seth material would develop those ideas but I didn’t know that at the time, in one of the early sessions. Seth said that this had been his first attempt to contact me. I only know that if I begun speaking for Seth that night, I would have been terrified.

Here are a few excerpts from different books written from the mid 1960’s through to the mid 80’s.

Jane would go into trance and would dictate the books with few revisions. Robb would take dictation. Seth would cover topics that were wide ranging from the soul, the self, the psyche, the nature of reality, and topics (like probable realities) that were new at the time. Many ideas that you think of today were concepts that Seth put forward. Probable selves, timelines, and realities, were all presented first by Seth. Seth provided ways to explore the inner senses he often described, and he always accented the importance of the individual and how it must look for its own answers.

Now, decades later, I find that my experience is similar to the ones Jane has described. I found that her initial experience quoted by Jane earlier, is similar to how I experience extra sensory material: it isn’t rational or mental but is instead is felt at the atomic or cellular level. What others might feel, I can experience directly as if it was a reality to me, but often accompanied by bewilderment as to its source since the reaction lacks the cause that we are normally familiar with. Some of my experiences can be as vivid as a drug trip (I assume, never having taken LSD before). So much sounds so familiar both back then and now that it makes me certain that the material comes from a source that is more than an imaginal figment or other.

Seth is worth the purchase. The best first book is Seth Speaks. After that introduction, the rest of the material will make more sense. You can find the collection sold online.

I salute the light that is within you!

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Alison Neville Intuitive

Still from video of Alison Neville off the Coast of Catalina California

In my last post, I mentioned my friend and psychic Alison Neville.  I have been working with her for years and after having known her for as long as I have, I continue to be amazed at her breadth of ability in any situation.  She can go into a session one minute with someone who is trying to let go of the grief of a loss one minute and be working with a coach in the NFL who is dealing with a problem with one of the quarterbacks (none of whom Alison knows anything about) and she explains or maps out the strategies that will help that person deal with their challenge.  And it works.  When I first started speaking with her she began reading me and my family.  She didn’t know me from Adam at that point, but she was already pointing out some prickly issues that would come back to bite me later (and they did).  There were things she told me about that even I wasn’t even aware of yet, but that would come to the surface later.

Psychics of this kind are as rare as gifted musicians, writers, or artists.  I have seen her gifts first-hand and I can tell you that if something needs to be healed and cleared away, Ali can do it.  I have not met anyone with the kinds of gifts that she has.  When I write about entrainment on my blog, I realize that she does a form of this (all healers do to some extent or another) in her work.  She can do this over the phone.  In fact, this is how she does the bulk of her work now.  Pretty awesome.  I was able to release the last bit of a block that has been dogging me my whole process of awakening since 2007 with her help.  It was THE hardest most stubborn block ever and she swooped in and cleared it out. What a huuuge relief!  The results of that release is having huge effects on me, my outlook, my state of mind, my heart, and the level of joy and contentment that I can now feel.  I mean, who would have thought? I hoped, I just wasn’t sure.  By releasing this material, I have finally reached what I consider is a true baseline after years of releases (hundreds of them), many which are described in one way or another on this blog which is now seven years old. There is another blog which I write on which goes back to 2010, Divine Alignment.

Video still from video of Alison Neville

 

After years of knowing Ali, I had the opportunity to return the favor of her help and I went from my home in Virginia a couple of weeks ago to the coastal island of Catalina off the coast of California where I spent a week shooting video with Ali while we were in the ocean.   We had a lot of fun shooting the footage, which meant I was out almost every day shooting as much film as possible to get good shots in different light in the ocean off the coast of Catalina California.  I know people are holed up in their homes lately (that was me, too, for many months) but I felt like I needed to do this and that everything was going to go just fine. And you know what?  It did.  I flew all the way across the country and not a problem was to be had. I have always had good luck with asking for protection and getting it.  I had a ton of fun, and I can’t wait to put together more video’s for my friend Ali who is beginning to enter into an new chapter in her life.  I urge you to consider utilizing her gifts if you want to sail through issues and wind up pinching yourself afterwards wondering if you really did just bust through all of those challenges in one session?!!

You can find her on Facebook under her name and her website is https://alisonneville.com

Here is the video we shot and put together. Let me know what you think!

 

I’m Ready….Are You Ready?

I want to take a moment to tell you about someone who has figured strongly in my awakening journey.  I want to mention her because of how much experience she has in the arena of energy, consciousness, and awareness.  There is the saying that when the student is ready, the teacher arrives.  For me, this was true.  I wasn’t going to find a traditional teacher, though, this much is true, but at a very specific point in my awakening when I began questioning what it was that I was reading and hearing about the phenomenon (Twin Souls/Flames especially), she came along at just the right time. We struck up a friendship and would have conversation about the process of awakening, consciousness, and how we can recreate our lives to find a better way.

My friend is a professional psychic intuitive and has worked in the field for decades.  She is not a fortune-teller but is someone who uses her gifts to supercharge change for her clients.  She has worked with individuals, couples, groups, and businesses large and small.  Her gifts have been used on start-up projects that have gone on to do big business, to couples who are wanting to get married.  Big or small, Ali has helped people from every walk of life.  She is like a big fish that you would never realize is the big fish because of how humble and soft spoken that she is.

My friend and guide was born with gifts that were off-the-chart incredible.  Talking to her at first, it wasn’t readily apparent just who I was dealing with, but as time rolled on I began seeing the evidence of her gifts.  I have been lucky to have known her since 2008 to the present day.  I have gone through my own contortions and difficulties during that time, have remained dedicated to pushing my own envelope of understanding and find that my friend is still there as brilliant and as insightful as ever….and forgiving of my own difficulties when I try to push them onto others (we call that projection!).

What is so amazing about my friend and her gifts is that she was not born with the “veil” that most have.  If you ask me how this veil works, I will tell you that I think it is very simply a process related to our development here. It is also how our brain works in consort with consciousness and the way that some parts of the brain actually “brake” other parts that have the ability to process information that doesn’t come from the five senses. I say this because I have had my own forays into this realm, perhaps just enough to get me into trouble.  But in truth, Ali is like that person who didn’t get programmed to be like everyone else and the barriers that most people have, she doesn’t.  I know for my friend, based on having known her over the years, living this way can be very hard because you feel EVERYTHING.  The other side is super crazy and over-the-top psi ability. My own sense is this is part personal interest that accrues over lifetimes, but can also be a feature of the awakened state.  Kundalini, after all, is said to bring many abilities, and Ali has had this since she can remember.

I think most people who have done the work like she has simply are at a place where they no longer need to reincarnate here, so perhaps this is why we don’t see a lot of these types of people. People like her are rare.  I know in my own experience that I am showing evidence of pulling back the curtain through a growing memory of past lives both here in this reality as well as others. Perhaps you have also been experiencing this very thing yourself, so you might know what I mean firsthand.  I know that along with awareness there seems to be a willingness or ability to begin using our minds in ways that are contrary to how most are taught here on Earth….all of which contributes to enough of a difference that we begin to see more and more open windows through consciousness.  At least, this has been my observation thus far. But the point is, my friend is so clear she can get to the crux of a problem so fast that you will be left wondering what just happened.

I am writing about my friend because I want you to know her.  I am telling you this because more people need to know about her because the gifts she has are remarkable.  While she is a healer, her healing work is so incredibly versatile that she can do her work over the phone and literally work a miracle for you inside of twenty minutes if you are ready.  These things happen so fast that I am left wondering what just happened sometimes.  It’s hard enough living in a world that wants to pooh-pooh these things as it is, but if you suspend disbelief and go into work with her with an open mind and a ready heart, there is nothing that you can’t do with her help.  I know I am waxing grandiose here…but let me explain…

A number of years ago my friend came to visit my home in Virginia.  While she was here I had been invited to a gathering by a family friend and I took my friend along.  A lot of the people there knew me and were curious about who she was and why she was there with me. My friend explained that she is a healer and an intuitive.  In minutes, she was in the next room conducting impromptu sessions with people whom I have known since I was a kid.  My friends looked at me before we left to go home, “Where did you find her?  Oh my goodness, she is the real deal!” I have watched my friend as she has held healing sessions with friends, and I have seen what she has been able to do for me over the years.  It has remained consistent in terms of her level of ability. Yes, she is the real deal.  My friend is remarkable, a real talent, and I feel fortunate to know her.  I feel fortunate because for so long I didn’t know anyone who liked to talk about the things I like to talk about in terms of our hidden potential as beings here, or how to tap into alternate layers of consciousness, or how events begin to change as consciousness is used differently.  When she does work with her clients things can change on a dime.  I don’t know why she shouldn’t be a household name.

My friend is Alison Neville.  She lives in California and she has the gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and an ability to read and heal energy.  She has had these gifts her whole life.  She began to learn to use them in her twenties and has been doing so up to the present.  Her “toolkit” is so inclusive that there isn’t a situation that she can’t work through with aplomb.  As a result, Alison doesn’t employ methods or scripts, she just goes into a session and uses what needs to be used at the time.  Each session can be wildly different one from the other.  It is because of this that her work is so beneficial.  You aren’t getting a script, you are getting real boots on the ground work. It is why sometimes when I start a conversation with her I might wind up completely surprised with what comes up because of something that her inner guidance says that puts us on an unexpected trail.  More about this in a moment. I will say that if you find yourself wanting her help, all you need to do is to be clear about what you want to cover because she will do that so long as you are honestly seeking to get to a better place.

You don’t have to believe in this phenomenon in order to benefit from what Ali does.  But what Ali does is not some cute parlor trick.  I have spent sustained time with her over the years and there was no way that she was able to gather all the information beforehand just in order to make it seem as if she had a gift.  You know what I am talking about here; the cynical skeptic, who, no matter how much proof they are shown, refuses to concede that there might be something to what she does.  This is probably an occupational hazard for her, but either you want help or you don’t….and even for  cynical skeptics Ali delivers in spades.  It makes you wonder why someone would fake it if they were so incredibly good at bringing solutions to your life that work so well? I guess I don’t think about those things because I have been around Ali so much over the years and I know that it’s real.

In the beginning of our correspondence and discussions, Ali helped me to remove or heal a long-standing issue from my childhood as it related to my Mother.  It was a thorny problem that had eluded me for about forty years.  It had developed at a time that was so early in my life that I had lost all hope of being able to use memory as a doorway for getting to it and healing it.  Ali showed me that these kinds of things are always accessible and so we used feeling (instead of memory) as the doorway.  One moment I was talking to her on the phone in my car headed to the studio and the next moment I am settling down in a chair in the studio, the lights off, with her speaking and taking me into a guided meditation.

The effect of healing this issue was like correcting something that had been wrong for years inside of me that I had been projected outward as something that I believed was a problem with the world, or my Mother. Gently my perception was turned ’round so that I was able to see it in the right way.  Once seen in the right way, once truly heard and examined without the distorting lens of my beliefs about it, this healed very quickly and righted itself.  That was in 2008 when that happened.  It changed my relationship with my Mother from that day onward.  Having been in the mental health field as a counselor for years, my Mother wondered how on earth I was able to heal something from such an early place in my life.  I had help from Ali.

That experience is emblematic of the huge leaps forward I have been able to make.  The truth is that the vaulting would not have been possible without her help.  When I write in my blog about having had an energetic “reset” years ago that helped my energy field become many times more sensitive, it was Ali who helped with that.  Yes, it was hard to deal with, but just when I thought my sensitivity had gone through the roof in awakening, what she was able to do for me showed me that there was no ceiling on our roof at all as my energetic system was put into orbit.  I’m not exaggerating, here.  My being able to understand how grace is tied to creativity, that was Ali.  My being able to step into my authentic self in many important ways, it was in that time when she and I were conversing and she was sharing her insight with me. I had simply manifested the influence that my soul needed most for that time.  Now I sense that there are others who also need it.  They might not know it is so, but that is how these things happen.

Just last week I was visiting her helping her with some marketing work for her business (and going to visit a regression hypnotist/counselor) and while talking one morning before breakfast, we wound up in a healing session. This wasn’t something we had talked about, it just happened.  A block that had eluded me my entire awakening was resolved inside of forty minutes.  Just like that. I could feel into my own field in a way that I had not felt before….maybe ever.  This was so important for me because I knew that if I was ever going to do any healing work myself, I knew that I could not be working with people unless I myself was healed….that was my own bit of guidance.  So this outcome was really important for me on many levels.  How I feel and relate to my energy now is very different.  Wow.

When I went out to swim in the ocean later I began hearing a voice speaking clearly within me that I had not been able to hear before. The block in the root had kept me from being able to hear clearly something that has been a part of my life and my soul existence for a very very long time.  It was like the cherry on the top hearing and feeling this presence that I simply could not meet or feel or hear until I did this work. As we open and clear ourselves we are more able to use our innermost senses in a more dependable and less distorted way. At least, that is how it seems to me.  The clearer we are, the less invested we are in an agenda.  The source of all life is supportive and free from agenda beyond that of love.  I find that as I go through this process, this is what I am moving into each day. How do I learn from Source?  How do I learn from Ali?

Some of what Ali does is energy healing.   How she does this from a distance over the phone is the remarkable part.  While much of what she does can be understood through the lens of known healing modalities, Ali has explained that much of what she does is the result of her own inner connection to what she calls her “guidance” which always seems to know exactly what needs to be done at just the right moment.  So it might be energy healing on the one hand,  the next minute it might be reading an ancient time line, a past life, or speaking with a relative that has passed.  She might do something completely unexpected, even for her, within the span of a session.  In short, there IS no pattern, every single session is unique.  If you watch true pros you will find that they don’t have scripts that they speak from.  They embody what they do. Ali is one of these pro’s.  It’s what made our talks so interesting.  Maybe someday she and I will put our heads together and do a book about these talks. It would be so interesting I think for the very reason that none of it would be scripted, not even once.  You just have no idea.

There is sometimes this freewheeling feeling in a session with her where you are asked to consider what life might look like outside of your own perceptual box.  Now she has you beginning to set up the very conditions for transforming your life, maybe without even realizing it.  By helping to surrogate the energy necessary for rebuilding the conception of what you think your life could be, she serves as this bridge to what your life will be once you decide to take that one little step into what seems like a vast cosmos. It can happen so fast you don’t even see it coming.  You might not even realize that she is holding you in that place, holding the seed of it and waiting it for it to germinate and to find it’s root in a new level of your life. You can actually root yourself in what seems to be a new cosmic place…..maybe it was just a place you never thought was even possible for you. We have chosen all of this, our choices are just that; choices.  Those choices may have represented the very best thing you could imagine.  There was a time when we built rockets that went up only thousands of feet and thought that was an amazing feat, but within a decade we were sending rockets into orbit around the earth.  Then we went to other planets.  You see what I mean?  Working with Ali can be like this.  The limitation is that you think you are limited.

And that is just it.  We each stand at the edge of a limitless cosmos and all along it is we who are limiting and choosing what we will experience.  Yes, you are in a body.  Yes, you are focused in this reality with a set of senses physically.  You are also more than just this one body.  So I ask, what on earth are you waiting for? 

As a result, Ali is one of the most innovative healers ever.  Missing a loved one who passed?  She can tap into that person right now and help fill in any gaps that you might have.  Have difficulty with your supervisor and don’t know why? Ali can dig into that and help to explain what is at work.  Not only that, but she will take your hand and show you how to heal it.  Poof!  Now everything has changed for you with your supervisor and anyone else after that who is like that supervisor.

Maybe it is a challenge with a relationship.  Maybe it is with a parent (like me) or with a spouse, a child, or a friend, it really doesn’t matter, that is how flexible her gifts are.  Maybe you can’t quite understand why the relationship dynamic is the way it is.  Not only can Ali help shed light on it, she can also help you to change everything about it on a dime if you are ready.  Maybe you are starting a business or you want to take your business to another level–Ali can tell you exactly the things you will need to work on in order to manifest that type of abundance in your life and to make it work with the fewest hangups as possible.  You of course need to be ready and you need to make yourself available. But if you can be as innocent as a child, you will not only change things for good, you will have great fun doing it because that is just how Ali is.  Ali is remarkable.  I want you to know about her gifts because I have been helped so much, my friends have been helped, and people that she knows have also been helped. I was able to do in half an hour what might take people years using traditional talk therapy.  I actually think therapy has its place, but what Ali does is she cuts out all of the preamble and gets right to the issue at hand.  The only problem with this might be that you might think that there is no way that she can cut to the chase so fast.  Way.

There are no accidents.  You are the one who needs to hear this right now.  Her gifts are amazing and more people need to know, and now I am telling you.  I have nothing to sell and nothing to gain. If there was a time when her skills were needed, that time is now. If you do get in touch with her and work with her, come back here and leave a comment  about your experience. I want the world to know. I want you to know.

To get in touch with Ali start here:

https://www.alisonneville.com/

 

The Secrets Move Among Us Now

When I was young, eight years old, I dreamed of a very unusual building. I had never seen it before, but because of the content of the dream I suspected that it was a location I had lived in, or maybe it was created in my mind-it was so unusual looking.Enough information was there in the dream to inform me that this had taken place in the 1800’s. When it is important to find a way to convey the information, dreaming will accomplish it.

Years later I saw an image of the exact same building I had seen in my dream. I saw this building on the cover of a magazine. The building was the Tibetan monestary in Lhasa, the location where the Dali Lama resided before Tibetan monks were persecuted under the Chinese invasion of their country.

I know very little about Tibetan Buddhism. I grew up under a kind of inner decree as a child with a directive which stated that I was not to join any school of thought or any religion. This voice or presence said later when I asked why that I would understand this in time. For a particular reason it was important for my own path to not become invested in systems.

When awakening came, it soon became clear. My final chapter in dealing with the innermost secrets of Christianity was it seemed to show how its secrets are the secrets of all other traditions and that these secrets are accesible to all.

This has not been the case before our time now. In fact, the secrets have been surrounded by traditions that have locked them within veils both cultural and dogmatic. There have been reasons for secrecy in order to protect people who had not properly developed their minds and bodies for a force of understanding and presence that can send a person into shock and overwhelm. But in recent years, something has changed…

A series of events worldwide has resulted in a condition whereby what was secret is now being known. These events go back through the centuries and were catalyzed by what you could call steps backwards by humanity. There are too many to count, but they helped yo create a condition by which a threshold was crossed. I will say that I do not see this effect as being like God coming to our aid, but rather is part of a requirement for there to be balance if at all possible. The appearance of many people within so short of a time on earth who are awakening is just such an example. On the one hand, it communicates that we are in a dangerous time, but it also indicates that there are ways that we can eliminate or heal this danger through understanding better our relationship to each other, to our consciousness, and the interrelatedness of all life.

Dangerous times? What??

Yes. While the wave of awakenings is a very hopeful sign, it also is a sign of possible danger because something is being countered. Like? Like extremism of all types, like a darkening rift between those seeking illumination and those stuck in shadow. When I awoke I saw just how deeply some around me tumbled into shadow just as I awoke. One of the people tumbling down asked me if I had noticed this. Oh yeah, I noticed. I remained quiet about it because I knew what it meant. I knew these people would become purposefully ignorant, cruel, even bestial. And they did. The message was “respect freewill,nothing you say will dig them out, only they can do that.” And so it was. I fled the burning world.

So yes, our presence is part of a balance. Its also part of an evolution. This is an innevitable rise of a long-turning tide. In time, the tide will likely turn in the other direction. There will be a flowering for a time, and our movement or day in the sun may turn to winter. That is, if we let it. If we don’t teach, or spread knowing nondogmatically, people could devolve again. It is a cycle. It could also becone part of a new evolutionary spiral. It is up to us. Freewill. Anyway, I digress.

One remarkable culture that walked the talk of kindness and compassion has been the people of Tibet. They remain an important example for how we can be and what is in us to know. Their insistence on compassion and nonviolence is something we all could learn from. Many cultures that have remained sequestered from Western culture in the last 16000 years often developed keen insights into these secrets.

Venerable Nupa Rinpoche

This morning I had a video come across my feed. I wasn’t looking for it and I hadn’t looked at anything related to it recently. When I watched it, I saw someone in it who I felt an immediate recognition of. It was completely unexpected. I found myself in tears. Okay, so he is an old friend, someone from that time most likely in Tibet. He chose to reincarnate there as a monk later, but I chose to reincarnate in the West. I saw that what he is doing now is not that different from what I am doing, it is just that I am learning to do it without the presence of a tradition or teacher. I needed to have other experiences in order to break open the cosmic egg once and for all.

The Tibetan tradition is steeped in learning how to harness tummo or kundalini for perfecting the body and mind. The video I stumbled upon today is a rare look into what many believe is a tradition that is dying out. I suspect it is in the process of transforming. The Dali Lama has said he will choose to reincarnate outside the Tibetan system next time. I did this a few lifetimes ago, choosing instead to explore the golden thread that runs through other traditions instead. I think this is what will transform some traditions, force them open, and make the secrets more accessible to everyone. I think also that awakening can be spread through a simple act of Presence now. This wont be enough, however. It wont be enough to “trust in God.”

Note: Before having watched the entire documentary myself, I went back to it after writing this to find the documentary expressing aspects of this sense about balance I have been describing. For me it helps to see how, for me at least, that this was a confirmation of the things that I have sensed inwardly.

It is with that that I reccomend to you this important documentary. It is not the be-all, but a piece of a longer strand of truth that runs through all traditions. We are the secret. To know this secret we need only know ourselves beneath the day to day monkey-mind that keeps so many distracted.

Yogis Of Tibet

When You Least Expect It

My morning window view

 

 

It comes in the unexpected moments,

with lack of guard

the inbetween

where the barrier to it falls

the heart melts

the self is returned to its primordial state

a glimpse

that returns again and again

until the brilliant flash fills and alters

changing you forever.

 

 

It isn’t worth wasting it

on anything but wonder

this sovereign moment

that owns itself

turning you over to a higher ❤️

a force that

forges you

bending the crooked

straightening,

cleansing,

purifying…

 

It can come at any time

especially when you least expect it…

making a lover of you.

The Merit

Artist: Hüseyin Şahin

 

What is the merit of holding on?

 

Fists of your heart

 

clinging since before your birth

 

to what keeps the rush of the real

 

at bay.

 

Just listen to your words

listen to the secret language of your heart

 

feel it deep

 

deep…

 

the luscious words are there

like a bubbling spring

 

a creek

a brook

yearning for its ocean tide

 

as was ever-written

 

on this heart of mine

-on all of ours-

 

 

that it is time to just let go.

 

 

“It is such a lonely place!”

that false heart cries

your hands clenched tight

 

where do you think you will ever go?

 

the biggest lie you tell yourself

is never as big as this one

because it was born from the blindness

which will lead you to the blazing light

where nothing can be hidden anymore

 

Where is the merit in what has always been?

Where does the new get born in such a place as this?

 

Just let go…in everything….in all of it….because of it….for it… and be free.

 

You just gotta learn how to set yourself free.

 

 

 

 

That Parasite II

Recently I shared some information about the issue of energetic entities titled “That Parasite.” Since writing it there has been some interest in going into this further in regards to the how of releasing these from your field.

 
There is a panoply of entities that can be drawn to people for numerous reasons, but entity attachment all boils down to one very simple factor, which is a vulnerability that is in the form of an unhealed place in the self, a repressed trauma or resistance to something that now creates a recursive merry-go-round effect that is a karmic issue.

 
I write about this a lot since it snags the majority of people on the planet and holds up the process of embodiment-learning from and becoming more like ones higher self. But this article wont go into the many types of beings except that there are as many as there are wounds in people here on Gaia. Instead, I want to focus on the core issues that I hope will lead you to your own greater awareness so that you can call upon your own resources.

There is tremendous benefit in ridding yourself of these subtle energetic influences. I know because I did it. If I can, so can you.

 

First Things First

I will begin by saying that I really do not buy into rituals or tools or trappings of any kind for energy work. I prefer a direct approach because my own healing was achieved in this way. We are souls that exist through all time and dimension-tools are not required.

Having said this, belief is a funny thing. It serves as a channel that regiments and forms experience, and if you believe you need a tool, belief will make it hard to do otherwise (unless you examine your beliefs and change them). So if a tool gets you in the right space, use it. But you have had the power all along…

 

The Two Pillars

I do feel that all of this is incredibly simple and it’s based on intent and feeling. These are the two pillars of this work. You need to be clear about what you want(intent) and you need to break out of your rational mind set and enter the magical realm of the imagination and of feeling.  This is NOT emotion.  This is your capacity to become increasingly more sensitive to psychic energy…which is the energy of your consciousness.  If you are sensitive to your own energy and can feel it, you can feel others, including the presence of others, both etheric entities and the minds of others who enter your field just by thinking of you. So this is not just any feeling, which probably sounds terribly vague. I will explain this as I go along.

Seeing It Anew

First, realize that entity removal is not hard. It can be incredibly easy. I will explain what makes it hard as well as easy.

What makes it hard is simple -it is one of several things: fear of the entity (like how we might fear a dog or an unknown), uncertainty about our ability to make the change, a spiritual/emotional wound that’s troubling, and being unable to shift awareness out of a rational “doing” mindset. Having a sense of mystery only invites fear and fear brings uncertainty and that scatters your effectiveness. There is nothing to fear or to be anxious about. This only gives the entity more standing and power. This is not a physical “fight” but a spiritual one.

It does no good to think on how Hollywood has handled entities. All of this is way off the mark. I know that there are accounts of possession by entities and the stories make their way into horror stories, but they are horrific partly because of the people, that is—the priests, who make all of this more than what it needs to be. The posture or attitude of the healer will always have a defining effect. And I will point out that most entities are simply lower astral forms, fragments and cast-off’s from humans and other forms of consciousness. Some are just undeveloped and in the process of becoming. They are simple and most often attach to people based on just a couple of emotions (most often). But how you approach them either gives them energy or sends them on their way.

What makes all of this easy is when you allow yourself to stop fearing them and see them for what they are.  They do not belong, yes, but they have also attached to you because of an opening in your field, what in sanscrit is called a samscara, or soul wound.  Your soul wound affects the consistency of your energy field, or aura, and this is most certainly tied into the major energy system known as chakras.  You can make all of this easy or hard.  If you bring fear into it, then guess what; hard!  Or even thinking that this is going to be hard will actually create a situation that is a self fulfilling prophecy.  I’d like to explain the hard stuff a little more because I think people will need some guidance on this issue.

A Little History…

Years ago my sister complained of a ghost that had been involved in some poltergeist activity in the house where we lived. It was at first hard to believe until I began to encounter  it myself. It was something like a trouble maker it seemed to me and I wondered how to deal with it. I decided, along with my sister, that we would try to contact this ghost or presence to see if we could bring a change. We drew up a make-shift ouija board on a sheet of paper, made a pointer from the ring of a flashlight and got to work contacting this being.

We didn’t have to wait long. In he came, full of bluff and bravado. We found out that he had lived in the house in the earlier part of that century and had died from diptheria. He was unable to move on…or some part of him remained. This was the cause for the psychic disturbances happening in the house and the poltergeist activity.

We probed him about why he did what he did, and clearly, he got a kick out of it. As we talked to him and explained how he seemed stuck there in the house, we noticed a change taking place over the weeks that we were in contact. I asked him if he had ever tried connecting to his higher self, had he ever thought of life beyond the house he was in? And then a shift happened. It was rather sudden but it was noticeable.  It had to do with his becoming aware of “Light”and from that time forward, everything about our haunting fellow changed. He came in and out, and was less present as he had been. He stopped the really spooky stuff he had done and seemed to be changed. The change though was sudden, like on a dime. The thing is, this is how it is with everyone (like flesh and blood people).  This is not some kind of bullshit story from Hollywood where the entity makes the bed lift up with a glowing red light under it. No.  Its like going to the dentist and he takes out a tooth and has it done before you realize its already done.

 

And one small aside….when my sister and I did our contact using our home made board, we didn’t light candles.  We didn’t dim the lights.  We did everything out in the open, full daylight because HOW YOU FEEL has everything to do with the outcome.  Nothing ever got weird or scary because we never went there.  We were just with someone who got a kick out of scaring people probably because he was bored stiff and stuck like a tick without any guidance that he was stuck. You see, once you die, time changes.  Years can go by and you have no clue.  You are out of that space time flow, even though you are coincident and focused on that place you are stuck in. And this wasn’t the whole soul of the person, it was simply an aspect, a single lifetime or a part of that person. This is most often how “hauntings” actually are.

The poltergeist stuff stopped and there has never been any more activity since we had our chats. It is perhaps for this reason that I think that a lot of what we think as scary and mysterious is only this way because we are feeding that emotion into it. And the only thing I would do different now is I wouldn’t need to use a board for contact, I would simply talk to his soul. I have known for years that there is almost always another story. I think that this experience set me up to be able to approach things the way I have, and its been very succesful.
In awakening the issue of lower dimensional entities came up in my awakening and I am here to share what I have learned, stripped as bare as possible of opinion or guessing.

Understanding & The Myth Of Protection

The first thing is…….Don’t fear them. Instead, understand them. Know what motivates them if you want to heal and release them. Is it fear that they like to create? Is it anger? Is it sexual energy? Self loathing? Whatever it is, the entity feeds on you when your wound is activated. And a wound is most often a trauma or experience you never got over and suppressed it where it then festered and created a problem of emotional dysfunction of one kind or another. It is, though, buried, and takes a good deal of grace to tap into to learn more about. It takes honesty. You will often known what emotion they feed on because of your reaction.  Is it over the top?  You might want to look more closely at that!

The more you heal these wounds, the fewer hooks these entities have to grab you with.Healing makes your energy field “slick” so nothing can snag it or grab hold. This is why I explain that most efforts people make to shield or protect themselves is simply nonsense. It’s bullshit. Sorry, but it is. The concept of psychic protection is pretty useless when you consider we are all one, all connected, related, and live in and communicate through a vast network or field of energy that is the body of the Prime Creator, or all that is. Everything we do is in truth like an open source event where the information is open to all. Certainly the self can choose to hide or create a notion of privacy in the physical, but the ether is not made this way, you see. Its all in the open.

The way to protect yourself is to raise your vibration so that lower  entities can’t latch on in the first place. This requires hard work and soul searching. Know thyself. And now to know the beings…

So lets say you don’t know what the entity’s game plan is, its own personal zeitgeist. Can you identify how it makes you feel?  If you can do that, you can know more both about your wound and what the entity feeds on. You simply observe. Watch over time and garner a good series of observations. The trick that gets played is that of second guessing, “Was that me or an influence from an entity?” You will know through observation—do you feel like you lose control over an emotion easily? While not a test that is 100% accurate, it can point you in the right direction often.

I once had a spouse who had, and still has, an entity that is latched on to her that feeds on her anger. I could feel it when the entity came alive in her because there was a distinct heaviness that would fill the room that differed from her own usual vibrational signature. Her emotional outbursts were also much more prolonged when this entity came forward or was activated. When I mentioned my observations to my very sensitive daughter many years later (we talk about this stuff sometimes), her face lit up—she had felt the same thing. These are not our reactions to an action in a person, they are perceptions. Learn to tell the difference and trust your feelings.

Sometimes an entity will be attached to a given center or chakra in the body, but they will be attached to a center only because there is a block or wound there. By knowing or feeling them there, you can read up on what that center is all about and then consider that the block or wound is resistance to the perfect positive flow for that center. A heart block could be resistance to compassion, love, or self-love in some way. It could cause anger, frustration, sorrow, all depending on the nature of the original first event of resistance that created the wound or block in the first place.

Some entities, you might notice, will move around in the body (those most closely associated with the body types). In the early stages (first three years) of awakening some of you will feel them as though they are physically moving around inside your body (this is also part of seeing or sensing objects or movement in your peripheral vision that often looks like shadows). I know how that sounds, but it is much ado about nothing. But until you clear them, you may feel sensations like something moving. And if not moving, then other energetic effects. I would not describe these as real as if it was physical, but is more “like,” or “as though.” You will of course sound completely crazy to any “normal” person who has had no experience along these lines.

These sensations are an attempt by the brain to translate messages it gets that are from the pranic side of our experience. It is translated into something that makes sense to us at a sensory level (and so the range of effects can be broad potentially). Regardless of how the entities present themselves, they remain until you heal enough to remove them.You can also remove them and then heal faster. There are numerous other sensations possible, and if you use your feeling self, your inner senses, you can become more adept at feeling their movements or presence. The only advantage in doing this is to understand them and yourself by knowing or being more aware of what is happening and where to focus healing.

Some entities are not so much in the body as associated with it.
Realize that these beings do not orient themselves with respect to physical reality the way we do. Theirs is a world measured in intensities and feelings. There is no distances for them, only relationships. They ride streams of energy the way a radio broadcast rides on a radio wave. They move through time like we move through space. Some are connecting to you through multiple lifetime streams. Some are generational and are tied to sometbing nown as family karma. Often the women of a family will have one kind of entity while the males will have a different kind that are often similar to one another. They will often grow to attract people who have entities like the women in their families. These will not be related through direct energetic lines but will be related only because the samscaras in everyone in the family are so often related. The beings do not create the wound, you do. They are in many respects multidimensional and slip between worlds because they do not take bodies by incarnating. They instead take up residence in your own body or field. Their landing pads can be our bodies. 
They are in the process of learning how they can be autonomous and able to draw sustaining energy from the universe…whether they know it or not. They will learn quicker if we offer them the opportunity through support to know their connection to Source. I am suggesting that you at least help them in being more aware…..to the degree that they are able.
I dont think you will be used to hearing his message given in this way, but the time for “fighting” demons is over. This type of process will always lead to trouble. This paternal or more male way of approaching it has run its course. We are now bringing in the power of the feminine aspects of the self, and this means that instead of pushing them out, we now pull hem in and help them transform. Instead of being pushed out, we pull them up and help them transform. Instead of pushing out, we coaxe them up and thus out. They are given the awareness that they are connected to Source…and without putting them on the defensive, we give them a gift. We dont struggle and fight, we bring peace and perspective. The old way is based on an incomplete understanding how things can be.
True protection is in not having an enemy to fight. The message that the Matrix movies struggled to say is that there IS no war except the one we are creating…but they fell short…so close…and when Neo overcame the Smiths by embracing them and their system in order to seed that part of ourselves with new awareness. Well…they were so close, but the fighting raged on because the writer was stuck in the old even as he was trying to embrace the new.

There is some suggestion that kundalini/awakening serves to create a sheath of protection around you. The Gnostic tradition goes into it.  This is old stuff. Its also not correct either. You are simply more aware now, or potentially so. I know numerous people who many years into awakening continue to harbor these presences. One is on her way to being a healer while carrying around two very troublesome entities. Its easy to think you have suddenly become a master of the universe when you awaken while not tending to removing these things. Doing so, though, accelerates your own development and helps to drop your reactivity to a host of issues. It can, in some cases, change the nature of events.

I once had a worker who had an entity not unlike one that I removed from the person I once thought was my soul twin. I swear, it was like some kind of convention. The whole time he was working for me the strangest most innexplicable things would go wrong to shut down production for weeks at a time. It was persistent and chronic and did not change until he quit working for me. While this was going on, I was having dreams that were showing me the subtle ways that these more advanced beings control events by hooking into our energy and the space/time flow of our lives. And why? To what end? To keep up an environment that is what they like or are familiar with. If you were born in strife and only knew strife, you too might seek strife unknowingly. You might create opportunities for it to occur only because its a pattern that is familiar to you. This is one way that they operate. Its really about what their comfort level is. Its upsetting to us because much larger parts of us are healed and intact, with only portions of ourselves having a weak spot, which is where these beings are attracted.

The Role Of The Healer

A healer can help if they themselves do not bear a similar wound as the person they are healing. Otherwise, they will be ineffective. It is also possible that they dont know how to remove them. It is  possible to attract a healer who has similar problems as you, in which case whatever needs healing probably wont be healed in the way you had hoped. It is also possible to attract the perfect healer for that moment.
The healer who worked with me explained that she saw definite patterns or correlations between what she was working on and the clients who came to her over the years. Bear in mind, her business was built on word of mouth, she does very little to actively seek out clients, they instead seek her.
When she was dealing with ghost phenomenon, she was having a lot of clients who were having “ghost” issues too. When she was able to resolve the issue she was having with this phenomenon, the people with ghost issues also went away. This happened over and over for her and helped her to see how the world becomes like a mirror to us.

What a healer does best is by communicating via the body-the light body to be exact. What they do is they read you, see where the problem is, and then they show through feeling how you can feel without the entity there. This is what my own healer called “surrogating.” She didnt have entity issues because she had done the work to get there, so she could supply the feeling telepathically of what a clearer field feels like. This is one of the central skills of a healer. It is also why I do not seek healers, I ask for the healer who is in my highest to come to me. I dont  push the river. But when I do it this way, miracles happen. I have had some of the best and most perfect healers appear in places that are almost unvelievable. Two out of three of these healers wound up either teaching or working within a few blocks from my home, for example. When I give up control the universe is free to create with me the most optimal and perfect type of events to help move me to the next step or level. By trusting in the wave in pranic force, you can have amazing things happen that feel miraculous only because they happen so fast and are so easy. You just have to be open to it and have no beliefs that compete with it that will muddle or throw the energy off. Anyone can do this. It is simply going from seeking/initiating to receiving/allowing.

She and I communicated energetically like everyone does all the time in day to day life (and are often unaware that they are doing so) but in this case she was focused very simply in her state of freedom when the healing work was being done. I began picking up on this because I was receptive to what she was doing. It is true that this kind of healing can happen while enjoying a cup of coffee, or talking on the phone. Most of the healing was done at a distance of thousands of miles.

All of this is being done at the level of energy, and energy is nonlinear, has little or no mass, and is not always bound by space/time. This means healing can be done very easily from a distance.

Receptivity is important on your side as the one being healed, just as the healer being neutral is important on their end. By neutral I mean that they are not getting an ego boost from this work. Receptive means your intuitive mind is active and you are feeling and not being stuck in your head with strings of rationalizing. You get empty and quiet, save for a sense of excited expectation. You get into body focus, the domain of the light body, which is where feeling resides. You are ready.

Then the healer swaps your perception….by their simply being them. You might not even know this is happening because we are all so used to being in our heads. You have to relax and let your guard down. This will not feel foreign in any way.You probably wont notice it. It is like a dance teacher who uses their hands to show you how to move your leg, or arm, for example. The move will be completely your own….just as how you feel will be completely your own as well.

Then, if you are ready to make a change, you will begin to be aware of the entity (s) in some way. This might happen right away, it could happen later, or in dreaming. Whatever avenue is best suited to your turn of mind, it will come.
Once you see them as they are, these beings cannot stay if your desire is for them to leave. The very act of awareness on your part begins the shift into healing and the vibratory rate changes (often piecemeal, but it changes nonetheless).

The healer lets you remove these by way of this new awareness they have given you. You are the healer. And this is the mark of a good healer; they bring you awareness and you do the rest. They are reminding you how you can feel inside by associating with you. And Their field of energy is used as a template, a reminder, for how you can be or feel. It is this change that is the initiation of healing. We pattern our children in the same way just by how we feel. Yes, actions count, but this persistent field of influence has a significant effect on people, you see.

This is why I can, for example, trigger the ability to see auras in another person, something that has happened a number of times in the past. It is merely a transmission of a pattern of energy that a person accepts. It is almost like a piece of code that then runs in them the same way it ran or worked in me. It is also how awakening energy is “transferred” from person to person. It is receptivity to a pattern, a line of code that gets taken on and allows for something new to be experienced. In many ways this is the fastest way to awaken, which is to be around the awakened. Just be aware of how you are attracting. If you attract based on something unhealed in you that is not healed in them, this can get magnified or reinforced during awakening. It isn’t always that a pattern is being transferred, but that there is something in common that gets magnified. I have found this happening to me in a soul connection, which was extremely difficult, and led to my having to part ways with this person because of how hard the hurt that was unresolved was. It pays to be observant of the deeper dynamics. Your feeling self, that clear voice, will tend to guide you very well if you don’t over think it.

Miraculous healings are the result of changing large sections of this “code” in ourselves. It can lead to immediate changes. Sometimes the healer does something to create a trigger point for the acceptance of the change….it could be belief, it could be ritual movements,crystals, music, beads, just about anything. Really, anything will work if faith is put into it. Faith or belief becomes the portal for change. But objects are not necessary; awareness of energy and seeking the highest is. Remember Jesus saying how it was the faith that had healed the man? That is the same thing taking place.

These beings do best when they keep their head low. They often fly under the radar. They cant rock the boat too much or they could find themselves homeless, so they often try to keep in the background..
I know people completely unaware that they harbor an entity. Not all are expressly negative, but they will always be holding a person back from greater growth in some way.
For some of you, you might feel like an entity most certainly does not fly under the radar, but this might well be because it is being triggered so frequently. Deep down, these beings don’t know how to be any different. Also, this level of activity can point to how active your own wound is.

When my healer began to talk with me over the phone, we were talking about the issue while I was driving in the car. It was a suggestion she made that I would become aware that an entity was there. Before she could finish her sentence, up popped a face in my third eye. I was surprised that it would work so fast. The face looking back at me didnt look human, and boy was it pissed! My inner sight showed five presences there with one main being resting near my heart center. As soon as I saw them, really saw them, they were gone. I describe them like pigeons being shooed out of an attic space. Gone! And they have never returned. The being that was mad was angry for a brief moment and was angry because it had been discovered, really seen.

Go Beyond Reason

The way forward is to claim your power. This is not an aggressive act or done out of anger, its simply what is yours. Part of this is learning how to navigate through the ether field. You have to get out of your head, out of your reasoning mind, because the universe only responds to feeling. The more you can feel, the better able you can understand this world within you and in the things of the world.

When I say feeling, I dont mean emotion. I mean your capacity to register sensory information internally (nonphysical inner sensory data) and learn how to distinguish between your feeling and that of the ether or universe. You use feeling to learn and discover what exists in this field (a limitless library of information).

This is the opposite of reason, you see. It is a state of receptivity, and feeling allows you to create a living form from the universe within you. This is how it is done. The more you bring in imagination, the more vivid the thing is that you have just picked up on and received.
You can do this in regards to your own healing and for learning more about these entities in order to release them.

The best way to do this is to explain to them that they have a direct connection to Source, that they dont need to be attached to you in this way, and that by letting go, they can begin to discover limitless energy. Hold space for the highest to happen, that they might grow interested in what this light is all about. Imagine their connecting to their higher self and see them merging into light.

When I removed the entity that had dogged “twin” for so long, this was what I explained to it before sending it on its way. I connected to its mind and explained what an amazing new world awaited it. It needed to find its own connection to Source so it could have all the energy that it needed. Then, I just felt this very sure and powerful force rise up through me that was like an opposing magnetism to this being. I increased the field strength until it moved far away.

This being did return, though, the following day, but because twins energy and mine were entangled, the entity could not get through. I simply repeated the same thing, entirely through feeling, that repelled the being for good.

If efforts at clearing an entity dont work, it is often because you have yet to find the point of contact (or your own wound). Find that and heal it and there is nothing for the entity to grab hold of. In the mean time it might play on your fears to keep the condition stable for it but unstable for you. You deal with this by not falling for whatever the emotion is, and by being ready to change the pattern.

Visualization work and affirmations can be helpful if those affirmations carry a desire or intent for real change. For as much as twin said she was tired of the entity, she also admitted that it was something of a guilty pleasure. By removing the entity, I gave her enough room to begin working on what that rather broken pleasure was about. But as a healer, I dont get to decide how the other heals, they do. They are the healer.

State of mind is central to all of this. Feeling and receptivity are foundational. Seeking the broken place and releasing it will knit you back together. Seeking the highest and asking for it while being open to the univere bringing it is huge. Get out of the rational mind and into the expansive cosmic mind. Use that to begin learning about the etheric. Meditate. Learn how to do breath work for relaxing and centering into cosmic mind. Ask. Then wait. Ask to be shown. Keep your eyes open.

There are many very good ways to release trauma, the source of these issues. I have a good trauma release exercise HERE . Chi Gong is helpful as are other forms of movement to free up emotional armoring. Body work such as deep tissue massage with an energy worker can do wonders. Reiki in some cases can help and cranio massage therapy can be deeply healing by teaching you to trust. Acupressure can be good if you have a well attunef attuned healer, and there are healers like my own who dont even need to touch to do their work.
Now, I realize that this may not e enough for some of you, so a simple exercise is in order. I want ou to et comfortable and allow yourself to get relaxed. I want ou to breathe through our nose and out through your mouth. These breaths need to be deep and long. You should pause two to three seconds at the top and bottom of each breath. You should do this for about five minutes. If you find it hard to remember what you were thinking about moments before, this is an excellent sign that ts working. You need to breathe until you feel relaxed and calm. 

The next step is to begin to take an inventory of your body. You need to begin to feel for all of the places where you feel tightness or resistance. Dont second-guess yourself: if its in your big toe, take note of it. And dont worry if there are a lot, just take note of it. These places will be where you will need to begin by focusing your breath into those places. Doing this helps to send a stream of prana into the block. If you do this diligently, each day or three times a week, you will find success. Envision the tightness as being loose. 

Then, by inducing shaking into the core of the body, and breathing deep, you can begin to peel away the layers of stored trauma bit by bit. This technique can be found on Youtube. There are dozens of these videos by numerous practitioners. It can be done lying on your back and letting the shaking do its work. As you move along, you will develop greater awareness of what is happening in your body. This will take time, but it will likely become one of the most important work you will do.
By using intent, and feeling, and the technique I just described, you can begin to be the master of your own being.

I hope this helps. I hope it can lead you to work that will give you the confidence necessary to take you to the next step, to the next level. Being able to enjoy your life is so crucial, and being able to clean things up some is one way to begin doing that.
Until next time, my bearers of light…

My Religion

My religion is the wind swept plains, the tea shared on rainy days with wordless joy passing between us. It is the pulse within me which finds the pulse of the universe as I find them the same. My religion has no beliefs but is filled with presence, and a joy that grows ever-bountiful. Like a hermit I live, and every moment with those whom I love grows more precious by the day. 

My heart is filled from a deep well from within as it’s waters never lessen or subside. I do not have to believe anything when what I know burns and flows with a power I just can’t tell. But I do wish the world could know this. But until then, I do the curious things we creatures do and find excitement in the simplest of things. This eternal flame of a presence contents me and rouses me to a new life.

I wish it were true that love is found in another, but this pulse of life that animates my awareness says this is not so. We must find this love first within us if we are to know it in another… for how else could we ever love them rightly, speaking such different languages which we want to call love. No, I must first overflow, be so enlivened and filled that it will ward me off from loves mistaken, loves that seek to take and make others responsible for what we truly each must find for ourselves. It’s been one of my latter realizations that I am here building a vibrant love inside myself so grand that its often hard to stand. But I do, and sigh into deeper folds of its mesmerizing wonder.

I am left utterly stripped of belief, and naked as I am, I am so much closer to the one that animates and guides. Listening quietly, I do wonder that if this is all there is, how grand that I may have just come to it, ready for the consummating kiss that is it’s promise made somewhere hidden in the folds of our bridal chamber.
I do not believe, but I bear the riches of the heart of religion. I have the temple without the priests. It is the deepest and most holy of the mysteries, and it is the only one you ever need to know to see how it alone reveals the rest. She bids me enter her most sacred of mysteries. She shows me where her lover meets her which is in the triadic chamber of my heart. No priests or priestesses, no law, no guess work. No prophets, no holy wars. No hymns, save my warm breath and yearning. No candles, save the flame of it all, and no opinions, no pronouncements in the deep chamber that is my soul knowing itself.

To love that the divine moves in you is no sin but sacred. To know beyond all dogma is a healing hand. With just a glance my whole life opens to it with no eventuality ever being just sheer chance. To honor the love that lives in me is to love and honor how masterfully I was made…and I do hope that you find this soon, too, so we can share Summer’s last fading light with tea and thunderstorms and the honor of pure religion flowing in our hearts.

Healing The Parent Wound

There are few people in our experience who have as powerful presence in our lives as family. So foundational, so basic to who we are. Most often people, like our parents, serve to show us something incredibly important about ourselves. Most often, though, we often view our parents with a mixture of love, frustration, joy, and hurt…and we pull away when we see the negative aspects in them, and us, coming. Parents, though, can show you right where your own fractures are. You just need to know how to see them. Most often, when things go bad, we focus only on the wounds that we feel, as some form of victimization in some way or another. We didn’t get enough of something, or got too much of something else. Lying behind our shadowed experiences with family lies a rich bed of truth, and only when you are brave enough to suspend your own personal misgivings about them, can you reach into this truth about yourself. 

Hurt or feeling a victim is itself a snake swallowing it’s tail; it continues until you choose to step out of this feeling, this self-chosen definition of who you think you are. This is not easy since feelings associated with childhood go so far back. It’s a hard habit to break. But it’s possible to step out of the vortex of your own pain or hurt in order to know these deeper truths. There is little else that heals as quickly your own issues which are often called the mother and father wound.

Many years ago, in 2009, I was assisted by a brilliant intuitive in what was a guided imagery exercise deep into my early feelings when I was a child. That experience was one of awareness about my own investment in a feeling as an infant that led me to seeing the root of the problem I had instead of just seeing or feeling the symptoms, the surface, of that old wound within myself. 
So often, we hold our own emotions at a distance so that we never really examine them or understand them all that well. What I was guided to do was to reach into my memory of feeling during my first year of life. This was so early a memory I did not experience any identifiable memories, but instead the memory of a feeling.
With a father dying from cancer, my mother was suddenly facing being alone with 4 children to care for. I was just over a year old at the time. Just a baby, really.  I didn’t get what I knew that I needed. It formed the core of a wound that followed me every day of my life. As a baby, all I knew was that I wasn’t getting what my inner compass told me that I needed. It was out of this mismatch that my wound emerged. Was it because I wasn’t loveable?

The guided imagery, which expertly took me deep within myself, allowed me a level of comprehension that I had l lacked up until the session began. I had always assumed that the core of my feelings were just too buried in memory and they weren’t accessible. No matter how early these things occur, we all have the information within us. Instead of conscious memory, my guide took me deep into feeling, a path whose comprehension is as fresh as can be.

This experience showed me that behind the tangle of upset lay deeper feelings I hadn’t fully examined. The first stage in the healing was in simply understanding how I felt. No more arm’s length. There was more there that I had hurriedly hidden away within myself that kept a fuller understanding at bay. It was brilliant because as soon as I did this, I was then able to see things as they were, or more so where my Mother and I were concerned. I saw my Mother in a way I had never seen her before. This enabled me to forgive not just her, but myself for having clung to this old feeling for so long. I felt foolish for making her responsible for my own misgivings. I was not aware nor in harmony with the flow of events. I suffered as a result….for years.

The result of this work was that it cleared an old karma of mine and also of my Mother’s. She felt guilt because she knew I had been at odds with her, and I had felt anger towards her for something I didn’t get. This was a self-reinforcing problem until I snipped the loop of the snake. The change was instantaneous.

This changed our relationship for the better. I saw her differently and felt differently, too. It was a liberating experience. I was able to see beyond my own mess and her load was lightened from then on. It was one of the biggest reliefs I had felt in my life. It’s hard to realize how these feelings weigh us down and shutters our awareness.

Healing these wounds are critically important to substantive spiritual growth and gets at fundamental issues about ourselves that are less about the victim and more about seeing things as they are. When you can do this, feelings can be changed forever. Until you do this work, you are in truth only running from yourself. It’s about you, and less about them. It’s more about your reaction, and less about what they did. Divine forgiveness sweeps through your entire being and completely erases the trauma or hurt that you had stored there. A new chapter can then be written in your life that changes everything based on the healing of the hurt for all time. It never returns when healed in this way.
While there might be other issues floating in the ether, these become easier to heal and let go. You can reach a point of bold curiosity and desire to do more of this work. To do it, you often must forget what you think you know.

You can’t forgive with your head and expect healing to come.This must come from all parts of you. It is what healing these things that makes healing so huge for you. Everything else is just trimming weeds. The process I went through was unconditional and took me to the core, to the hidden root of the problem.

My daughter and I clowning for the camera recently

Years later I was able to see how during a divorce, my children were being polarized into anger over how her mother was acting. Yes, she had been emotionally abusive. The mother of my children began to engage in inappropriate behavior by indulging in what is called in psychiatric circles as mobbing behavior. Mobbing happens when someone decides they hate another person and tries to turn other people against the targeted person through a campaign of criticism and denigration. Healthy people will know better than to let their own upset get the better of them, especially in a divorce where children are involved. But in cases of mental instability or abusive tendencies, a parent can engage in a campaign of seeking to alienate the target just to get back at them, to try to destroy what they hold most dear; their children and the relationship they have with them.
In the case of one of my children, she found that what her mother was saying was untrue due in part to because she chose to retain her own sense of self and willingness to be objective. Because she was willing to spend time with me, she was able to very quickly  see how what her mother was saying just didn’t hold up. This is where this type of campaign can backfire on the parent who is engaging in the denigration of the other parent, resulting in a child who sees through the deception with a broken sense of trust, with resentment that often follows.
 
Yes, she could have wound up hating her Mom. Had I been like her Mother, I could have taken this and run with it. I knew though that the future of my child’s coping skills hinged on her having a good relationship with her mother and myself.  I urged her to forgive, and the amazing thing is, she did. She forgave and she forgot.

This is how this work goes. To be free, you have to release all negative feeling in order to be able to move on with greater happiness. It’s the holding on that causes us to suffer and keeps us not fully healed. It transforms how you see the person who hurt you and it’s instantaneous.
The difference between my one child who took the bait his Mother was feeding him and my daughter who was more willing to find out the other side of the story is like night and day. It’s hard as a parent to know how you are setting up a child for failure in their life when you succeed in getting a child to believe falsehoods about the other parent that serve to make a normal relationship impossible for the child. This child now has the classic symptoms of parental alienation which include depression, anxiety, anger management issues, and difficulty holding down jobs or completing long-scale tasks like graduating from high school, or completing a college program. Children of alienation are unable to form lasting relationships and tend to move around a lot, from relationships every few years, as well as changing jobs every few years. It is always the problem of the school, the boss, or significant other. 
While you should never stay in a bad situation with toxic people, the people so abused do not have healthy coping skills, which is the legacy that this type of abuse nails to the hearts and minds of children like this. I can tell you just how tragic it is to have not just a spouse engage in this denigration against you, but to have a once-loving child swept up in this terrible outcome. So you can see how important it was for me to make sure that my child could have the benefit of the love and support she so badly needs in order to grow up more whole and healthy as an adult.

When I began the session with my intuitive, I had no idea where we’d wind up. Neither did she; she was being led in large part by her own gift, and this is how her work often is. It also is what makes her so incredibly successful in her intuitive work with people. It helped to transform my relationship with my own Mother, and has led to a happier and more joyful life. This rising tide will lift all boats. 

I encourage you to do this work because it’s so basic and foundational, and can have the power to change so much  within you that has been a problem or stumbling block  for years. With help like this, difficult problems can be changed in an instant when you are ready and have excellent guidance from a gifted person like I had.

Family is so important to us and for us. Being able to transform the nature of something difficult into something positive is a truly beautiful thing. It touches on your and their lives as well as your siblings, if you have them.

For anyone who would like to explore this work more in-depth, I am happy to share her contact information. Just drop me a line or request it to find out more.
P.

We Burn

I have been working on a renovation project this week that has included taking down parts of an old shed roof over a deck. It might surprise you to know how boards will look after sitting under roofing shielded from the sun. They can actually char. Low steady heat does the same job as sudden flames. 

I rather think that this is like how we are… how, over lifetimes, this slow burn accumulates until it is so ripe, so full and cluttered, we can stand it no longer. Or some part of us can’t.

Our troubles

accumulated,

Our wounds so deep-

furrowed,

triggers something

It can come like a sigh

often  a sudden realization

this can’t be all there is…

we cross over the borderlands

the no-mans land

filled with the remnants

of lifetimes worth of the dried

and charred tinder

the misappropriations of our spirit

ready for the kiss of fire

to set it all aflame.

Just like that, the house burns down.

Our hopes and plans, up in smoke…

along with our lies  
cleverly assembled to look like castles 

but are only  vain glory.

The moon never shone more brightly after, 

nor the rain more precious

every drop now

an explosion

or a tease

….a world waiting to explode.

Seems you must lose it all to gain all 

only because we all lie like that 

and bury them as though they mean something

until of course we burn for real

and immolate until the blaze is enough to illuminate,

purify,

and simplify the work of the sacred arsonist 

who rests in every heart and waits 

for when the alarm sounds and 
our world is set to flame.

It is ever thus

that souls are carried home

by the fire of the Holy Ghost 

Whose sweet destruction returns us each

to what is true.

It’s the love that prevails.