Archives for posts with tag: shiva

People say a lot about it…and for the most part, there’s a lot of good information out there. But there are a lot of things said that just aren’t so. Some say you must have a guru, receive diksha, and stuff like that. But they say it because that’s their only experience, so they can’t imagine it any other way.

I didn’t have a guru. I didn’t receive diksha. I didn’t do yoga. I didnt sit in full lotis with back straight, eyes on the nose. I did have a confluence of serendipitous events based on my singular intent to get to the bottom of a few things in my life. These were things that I had buried and needed to resolve that wound up being the switch that turned on the lights. I didn’t have a guide, I did what I was trained as an artist to do: I observed. I’m no different than anyone else except I have been seeking this something “more” that came crashing into my life like a cosmic visitor who made sure nothing would ever be the same ever again.

I see so many searches done on my page that show me that on a daily basis people are just trying to come to grips with their awakening. In the beginning it is a lot to take in. But I think that you were made for this. I also think that we all have existential threads that we need to learn how to cut while awakening is present and strong in us. Doing this will free you up to go from intense awakening to smooth flow. For as hard as it was for me at times, I always knew I was going to make it. I think I chose this at some level. Something in me has the resilience to get through the harder parts of the experience. It’s incredibly personal, so it’s a bit like being laid open like an experiment in dissection…and yet, if you notice, the things that are dissected are never a loss to you. I had this fear….like it was going to destroy me. It was really my fear of change. Over time I learned simple forms of surrender which took me twenty feet into my soul depths, then 40 feet…only to find there was a still deeper surrender as it took me deeper into my psyche to dig out the deeply rooted issues. Not happy with trimming my existential bushes, I dug deep and asked the energy to take me with it. It has always been my teacher and my guide. I am the guru…but that guru is mine. It is your job to recognize the guru in you, too. There is nothing wrong with seeking to figure out how you will do this. My words are just a reminder that you have this. Get curious about yourself.

Today as I was working, there was this channel of information streaming in. Normally I ignore it so I can focus on the busy-work of my day. But it comes, and when it does, when I listen deeply and give myself to it, I can later go and lay on my soft carpeted floor on cushions and give it my full attention. This makes a lover of me, I am not ashamed to admit, and it draws me closer, a great nothingness that is everything, that I am drawn to. And then, I am on fire again.

So as this comes in the moment, let me see if I can explain something that it’s telling me and if you can relate to it.

Kundalini is just an abundance of an energy we call prana, chi (qi), ka, or life force or vital force. It comes when enough blocks are removed to make it possible to let it’s flow increase. I know the Indians say you concentrate on it to imagine drawing it up from the base of the spine, but energetically something “gives way” inside of you that allows for this flow. This isn’t a physical change. It is a change in the structure of your thoughts and your feeling. It’s simple. In fact, way simpler than most people let themselves to be.

Since prana is a force that is also conscious energy, the “structures” that govern it is the subtle energy system. Normaly, we were made for it’s flow, but as humans, it’s stopped. In most people, its a trickle. Once it flows, little can stop it.

The one thing that can stop it is strong negative emotional energy and your thoughts. In the early stages of awakening it seems nothing can stop it, but I have seen that it can be regulated. So if this is so, then the way you can work with this energy is by learning how to be so that the ride is easy instead of hard. This is how it teaches you. You might want to resist it at first, but this is the universal intelligence in all of us, and it has no limitations. The only thing that limits you is you. And for a time, keeping a handle on it may be what you need before going deeper with it. Just follow your instincts and your comfort level. You can, though, go as deep as you wish with it. It is without limit.

Growing up, I had a lot of run-ins with energy. I could have awakened early in life, but the material didn’t move enough. I knew intuitively though that I needed to increase the flow of my inner energy. Interesting things would happen when the flow increased. I often missed what the trick was in increasing the flow. I didn’t realize how I felt was the valve that opened it up. I was too much in my head. I was shown that as this energy increased, my ability to be more aware of numerous streams increased, too.

In an experience at age 18 with a past life as a Native American man who was having a Thunderbeing vision, I found myself swept up into a high level electrical energy of the spirit that made it possible for me to be simultaneously aware of being in four places all at once. Without going into the experience in detail, as the energy rose in me during this vision quest experience in that past life, I was able to be aware that I was alive in numerous aspects or spiritual beings in the vision. I looked out through my eyes as the native man, my own eyes in 1984, the eyes of the thunderbird, and the eyes of the Thunderbeing who was in the storm. I was able to be aware of each location at once. There are exercises that yogis use that do the same thing, and I suspect it’s to achieve the same type of state.

I am telling you this to illustrate the point that as energy increases, so too does consciousness and it’s ability to perceive and take in information incredibly fast and on many channels at once. This only happens when there is enough energy present. I am telling you this to help you be aware of what your potential is and that you can use this to help yourself understand better what’s going on inside you. And if you don’t believe what I have conveyed to you is possible, try imagining the possibility that it is possible, and then do an experiment where you tell yourself that you will allow yourself to open up and be led. Depending on who you are, you might slip right into it, achieving what you thought you were not capable of moments before, or it might need to incubate in you for days or even weeks before you have that surprise “a-ha” moment. Could be, too, that you have it come to you in dream. If it fits you enough, it’s only a matter of time before you encounter it. It’s really about where you put your focus.

So the really great thing I was being shown today was a version of something I think about a lot because I find it so interesting. This is the energetic engine that keeps prana flowing. I’m being shown that it’s these two polarities, things I think of as a cosmic quantity that I might symbolize in my mind as the shakti-shiva or the divine pair. But when these “two” which are really just one wake up inside of you, it wakes up the rest of the cosmos inside of you, too, because this pair is seeded into everything, so it opens you up and gives you access to all that is.

The energy in you is moving through all other things, and since the energy exists outside of space/time, it is everywhere all at once. This means you are also everywhere, too, by extension. I know you aren’t everywhere physically , but take a moment to feel the “god” state alive in this experience and feel how the very fine energy within it is simply not limited. Do you feel that immensity?

Maybe you think you should do something with it. Maybe you think it’s just that way and nothing more can be done. What I find is that as I turn my attention, the energy can “fetch” whatever it is I want or need to know about a good many things. I also need only think about something and it winds up happening. I have been having some very nice adventures in manifesting lately. This reveals to me how the world is really creating using our thoughts. The world is not for or against me, it’s giving me what I am.

Imagination is the gateway for this experience. Beyond the most obvious use of imagination, which is the creation of things, is also the capacity in you to image things that you never knew about before. Imagination becomes a portal for direct knowledge, direct learning, and your ability to feel is what makes it possible for you to relate to whatever information you are picking up on. All of this is experienced not as concepts but as a living reality. Everything has a life. Everything is alive, sentient, even if it’s not physically alive. It is the aliveness of atoms that makes it possible for matter to evolve or to become living like we are.

This aliveness, this livingness is in everything, and it isn’t that our existence as sentient matter is the ultimate state, because it isnt, it’s that everything that exists exists because it is aware. Far from dead matter, atoms have an enduring life of their own, with subatomic particles making up the “cells” of each atoms “body.”

What makes this possible is the sweetness, the uncompromisingly compassionate and ever-present energy on which we are all riding. By sinking into it, you avail yourself of its healing as it straightens out the kinked and blocked places within you. It feels fierce early in awakening only because it’s like trying to fit a thousand gallons through a straw. This is due to the energy body still being restricted or blocked. The more you let it flow into you in your dark places, the more it removes and the more smooth everything within your body and mind gets.

This is to me like the biggest story around. It is for many, a secret. But hidden in your ability to feel (not your emotions…this is your ability to feel and to be more and more sensitive inwardly) is it’s “secret” revealing itself. The less you rationalize with it,the more it will unfold in you.

The more aware you are, the more capable you will be of feeling the remaining blocks in your energy body. As you turn your attention to them, the prana flows. It flows through your attention. This is why we can transmit energy through our eyes. It isn’t that the energy literaly flows through our physical eyes, but that it flows through our attention, and for this energy, a gaze is a form of attention.

It’s quite something knowing that your body is host to trillions and trillions of other lives existing in your body at this moment. It’s true; every cell has it’s own life, even if it lives for only a few weeks, or even days. Every atom, when you see it up close , pulses and vibrates in such a way that it’s a wonder that your body mass doesn’t just slip through everything.

The world’s secrets can open up like a beautiful mountain flower which only you are privy to in that moment. What would you like to see? Would you like to see how we were made, how we came to be here on this planet? It’s surprising to find out that human life as we know it was active long before earth was hospitable, existing in different genomes in different regions of this and other gallaxies. Sound impossible? Go look. Use your minds eye. Or maybe you ant to learn how other cultures existed, or how the light body works, or new forms of technology that use sentient energy as a way to interface with them without the use of dirty fossil fuels, or how you can cancel gravity through high frequency waves, or how some theories in physics only get it partly right. Or, closing your eyes, you can listen to the life of plants and read about their story and how their passions exist in differently seeded ways than our own, a realization that helps to open the mind to the possibilities.

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How do I tell them

that you dwell in all of the smallest

and thus through the All?

How do I tell them how You exist everywhere

in everything

utterly ubiquitous

seemingly silent

except for how present you are?

How do I tell them

that the path to initiation

is by way of joining the

Two Currents

of thought

feeling

brain

mind

and archetype,

and that nothing less

will reveal

your presence

to them?

How do I tell them

that their religions have been poor substitutes

to the glory

wonder

and awe

that is you?

How do I tell them?

How do I utter your secrets?

The problem

is there are no secrets.

We have chosen to close our eyes

our inner-seeing eyes

whilst looking outward

through eyes made

of gross matter only

chosen that as the truth

forgetting that it was the Creation

not the soul that inhabits that Creation.

Who can be bothered to seek deeply

only to find

everything is a prop

a stage set for a story whose plot contains

a diminished message

while a deeper truth abides

curled inside of everything.

It takes real inquiry

honesty

and so simply

the doors do open…..

To know the One

focus your attention

on the smallest place within you.

At the smallest level is where

the One rushes in

and inhabits all of us

quietly

and without our permission

or knowledge

like ancestral DNA

whose voice can be heard

beneath the soft sigh of imperishability.

It is below normal awareness…..

its power is so strong

that once awakened,

you should be ready

for a new life to form

filled with meditation and practice

to working to release your inner resistance

to the work it will do in you….

thus the old life can change so much.

With the two currents awakened in your awareness

you can join two “eyes” of your being

into the one eye

which initiates a flow all through you

and undoes you

that you might know

see

feel

and abide

in your riches.

It is near the third eye where the currents

flow one into the other

naturally

continuously

and the only one who has not known this

has been your concious awareness.

This is the point or merging

opposite forces

into one

for the sake of Creation

the Dance

that returns and supports

all creations.

This is the rebirth

the ressurection

the awakening

to a new life

as though the flesh were dead

and which is now alive,

more alive now than ever.

Here,

mysteries can be known

felt

experienced

like a contiguous map

or landscape

uncompounded

consistent

whose golden thread

runs through everything

and can be illuminated

when you bring

both sides

of reason

and irrational

imagination

concrete

the warm

cold

full

void

into unity.

When these twin forces merge

everyone experiences

what can only be described

as an extreme state of bliss

that is orgasmic

and which releases

this energy all through the body

to heal

cleanse

and return it back to love

so that this bliss

is used for larger purposes

like enlightenment

illumination

and ressurection.

Here is where it begins

a fine thread

you grasp

that takes you through itself.

No images exist here

but pure spirit

will carry you to worlds

beyond this one

but straddles all realities.

The thread will take you to every answer

your mind seeks

all origins

and being.

A vast library is built of this thread

the one living invisibly within us all,

threaded through all thought,

all action,

all events,

all matter

and all that was

or shall be.

You shall inherit this

upon Initiation.

Touch this Presence at its smallest

within you

and you will know it

outside of you

through all things

for we are all connected by this thread

of golden awareness

linked to imperishability

and new life.

You do not need to believe anything.

This exists before all dogma

all belief

and will correct all wrong thought

when you submit yourself to It long enough

to wear away the stones cast into your heart

and sou…..

There are so many hurdles

Errors which we each have created

lifetimes of them

and yet

the world of them will come toppling down

when we each enter more deeply into this force

that is love

that is your emanation

your presence

your life

within us.

Join the two

open your whole being

let it invade you

and undo you.

You needn’t be afraid

for each of us who are already awake

will be standing silently within you

as your eyes open

to this new world…..

Your vision will slowly clarify

as you are healed

of your error

and you will see clearly

more and more

like swimming slowly

up from murky depths

to the light.

This can take a lifetime to clear

or only moments

and when the Two are joined

a current will begin to move in you

restoring you

to the original state.

Here,

you use both reason

and imagination

like a man and woman

hand in hand

in close union

with respect and care for the other

left and right brain

Shiva and Shakti

Yang and Yin

together

nonantagonistic

moving evenly in peace

which produces

immense pearls of bliss,

further healing you from past error

and illusions.

These things were once spoken secretly

behind stone walls

and only to the ‘elect.’

It is time

that we see

that it is time

for this teaching to be opened up for all to know

the good new spread far and wide…..

but who shall have the eyes to see?

Those who are ready

can inherit it

but only by joining irrationality

feeling

fluidity

with the rational

and solid

for the new Arrangement

to take form,

the mystical marriage

of the Alchemists.

This is the only Initiation

that has ever mattered.

Who then shall hear?

When then shall see?

serveimage

You might think that my words on the sacred two are about tantra and are thus sexual in nature.  I have had friends make comments about my poetry and writing as being about sex.  But that would be  a mistake.

Most often, when I write about the “two” I am actually writing about the twin forces contained within awakening.  This was what Jesus spoke about when he said “I am one with the father and the mother.”  Problem is, mainstream Christian dogma wrote the “mother” part out so that the religious experience became an all-male club.  The Hindu, though, along with the Taosists, recorded it rightly: kundalini, or life force, the Tao, is known as twin forces that move through the body and awareness as a potentiating force of both healing and radical change.  To show how powerful this force is, it is possible to do more healing work in ten minutes with this force alive in your than in ten years of standard talk therapy.  Part of the energy is said to be sexual.  And here is what is so important, right along with the twin-thing; the force of awakening is like a carefully controlled stream of water being so carefully tended, is allowed to overflow its tight bounds and allows for other water and other new bounds to enter in.  The flow grows, the flow breaks down old barriers.  It is sexual, yes, but it is creative, it is mental, it is physical, it is emotional, it is ego, it is intellect, it is all that we ARE. By allowing our energy to flow as one varied current, we can actually catch a glimpse of what we can be if we become less compartmentalized and controlled.  We return to a primordial state which I describe as a return to the Garden.  This is us, you see….

All that we ARE.  So my poetry?  It is about THIS. And yes, it is cast in the form of pure adoration.  This is significant and important because the “two” are not themselves really separate.  They are in truth ONE, when you experience them within your awareness, but they pull apart to form what seems to be two in the etheric body structure of the Ida and Pengala channels, and in so doing, they become a powerful creative force.  This force exists in every single person on the planet.  So when this force is liberated deep within ourselves, the twin force of kundalini releases, it is said, the Shakti and Shiva currents through the body.

Like a plug into the cosmic, we plug into the universe with a blast up the spine. Never are we ever the same after this.  And I make them adore one another like lovers because of HOW closely they work with each other in the body when you become aware of them. You cannot have one without the other.  I found that I could allow the “two” to grow in strength by allowing them to come closer and closer to one another through nothing except my own focus and awareness on my own process of energetic flow through my body and upward through the chakras and my spine.  Out of these two, there is birthed an even finer form of energy that is the core of the Christ, or Cosmic Consciousness.  Awakening is akin to conception, what the early Christians mention as “begetting” as a spiritual practice (the only remnants we have of this teaching are extant in the gnostic writings of the Nag Hammadi).  For the bulk of Christianity, the subtlety of what Jesus had to say was largely lost where his core apex teachings were concerned.  He was a man who spoke in pictures and parables to people who were drop-dead literal in their understanding and approach.  But you think I feel the Christ?  I feel what HE felt in his life and what he sought to get his followers to know.  This is also the same force that all yogis and pilgrims have felt down through time.  This is a HUMAN experience, you see, not religious or dogmatic.

I pay homage to these things.  I pray, I look, I long, I breath, and I find healing through them.  Always always, as they turn turn around the other.  And yes, I am here to state emphatically that you cannot have God the Father without Goddess The Mother.  Anything less is ignoring the truth that will one day stare straight at you like looking down the barrel of a cosmic gun ready to shoot you through and through with truth, murdering your lies and your false belief.  We all hold lies in ourselves, and most of us do not know they are lies.

Strong words, I know.  But I am through pussy-footing around.

Time to bring back the Her to the Him.  And that is what I am doing.  My words. they are about the She as much as the He.  they are at once religious in feeling but shunning dogma and false belief.  They are also fanciful, playful, fun, and passionate.  Just like every good love story should be.  So there you go.  Sexual energy, along with the REST of your energy is healing.  Subsume or hide your sexual energy out of some feeling of shame or guilt and you lose a strand of your own healing.  And what does that get you?  More repression and sickness.

So why did we strip the man-god from his woman?  Why do you think we did that? I mean, really, what do you think was beneath all of that? Fear? Short-sightedness?  There may be many reasons, but in a moment we can change all of that by choosing differently.

The Goddess joins with her God right here inside of me.  It informs me, heals, and innervates.  It is for me the way Home.  And what is this?  It is merely a joining of all the opposite ends of things in the universe using a glorious and beautiful form of cosmic short-hand.  ALL opposites are thus strung along the invisible string of the Creator….IN OUR AWARENESS.  And that is the core of all religious feeling.  So back to the poetry….

IMG_1648

In it

lies

the three

potent

foretelling

compelling.

Two divided

return to union

creating a third

like some cosmic family.

 

Left brain unites to right brain

see how Shakti and Shiva are merged?

It is the same

the world bubbles up with this

the ubiquity of union

of disparate

becoming familiar

exploding in creation.

 

The distant stars draw us forward

into an ancient

but recognizable vibration

where the massive

unites with the small

where the dark joins the light

where the cold is embraced by heat

and the yin knows the yang.

Forever like this

for this is how all cosmic mind is and shall ever be.

Turning one into the other

within each and every single particle

that exists.

In you

in me

in all of us

as we make sense of this

and give up trying

and embrace the mystery

and thus sighs the universe

in its ecstasy

in our union.

7fb6b5d780adc694b4946978ea101bfbTwo currents reside in your awareness, your body, and the universe.  We call them yin and yang, Shakti and her Shiva.  This is so because when we let go and allow them to be in us, it results in bliss.  To do that means letting both sides flow.  Restrict one, you effect both.

So let me suggest very certainly to you that we humans do not realize just how much we have choked off the yin side, the feminine in us.  For centuries.  This has had a big impact on us, but like frogs which boiled in water, the effect was gradual and we just never noticed it. We do not notice it even now.  We just don’t know how things are changed by having more of the subtler and more fluid flow of the yin in us.  But when you do this, when you let this side flow in you, it has huge effects for you.  The feminine current in your flows up one side of your body, the left and then flips when it reaches your brain or crown.  This sends the current of the feminine flow into your right brain.  Learning about HOW the right brain feels is knowing this flow. the right brain is not the linear processor that the left is.  It is not limited.  It can take in VAST amounts of things and details.  Research into brain function has shown that when people have left brain functioning impaired, they experience mystical states, develop incredible visual memory and can do incredible calculations that are on par with “Idiot Savants” (and is a term I find distasteful).  It seems the left brain serves as a controlling filter for the right which has no such limits. And isn’t this so very feminine?  I mean, who else is able to take a spark and turn it into a world, a baby, in nine months?  Amazing when you think about it.  Well, in a very similar way, a conceptual and feeling way, the feminine or yin in you can achieve similar results.  To do this, though, you HAVE to let her flow. Balancing the flow can lead to orgasmic energy within you.  This is a very good thing because of how healing it is.

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Let yourself FEEL.  Don’t be afraid of your feelings.  Many people try to control their feelings for fear that they wont be able to keep a grip on themselves.  I say let yourself go.  Let yourself go some, and let the carpet unroll.  Sure, in the beginning things might feel chaotic, but a curious things happens when you give yourself the freedom to feel; you return to a kind of point of stasis.  For everyone this point is different.  After years of living a controlled rigid emotional life in some respects, you might need some significant unrolling. So let it go.  Eventually, once the rougher energy is worked out of you, a more peaceful land will emerge.  And the plus is you will most likely have learned how important it is to cultivate a more balanced self that includes this other side you have been ignoring.  The great thing is it can actually lead you when you are uncertain of where this will all end up. Really!  But allow yourself to flow.  Allow yourself to not always have the answers.  Allow yourself to FEEL the answers.  Some answers are arrived at through non-rational means.  Give yourself the opportunity to feel this and do this and be this.  Your mind wont be thrown into disarray, and if it does initially, the ship is merely learning to right itself.  Trust your process, and welcome the divine feminine, the yin, the right brain, into your life.  Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is through non-rational means.  Some things are just that kind of a mystery. the left side wont ever be able to work that issue out in any meaningful way because of how it is built.

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So instead of thinking it, you will FEEL it. It will tend to happen that you can do odd things like BREATHE in peace and contentment.  The left brain says “WHAT???”  but the right brain smiles knowingly.  “But of course, that makes purrrfect sense!” she says.  And it does.  No way you could ever really breathe in the universe through your nose and yet, it happens because with the feminine, these things are commonplace. Letting HER show you the magic way is one really great way to expand and potentiate your consciousness whether you are a man or woman.  As a man, just being near this kind of spiritual fire is real nice.  What will YOU discover with this world within your reach?

Lets get honest.  Even in the most illuminated and seemingly spiritually advanced traditions, there is still a great deal of male chauvinism.  I hear people say how lovely it is that Shakti is conceived as the force of kundalini itself and must slowly rise up the body, refining herself as she goes in order to ready herself for her union with her consort, Shiva, resting in resplendent perfection in the crown chakra.  Or how, in images of Yab-Yum the male figure is the deity and the feminine aspect is his consort.  If you go to Wikipedia you will see this expressed.  In one fail swoop, the cosmos is rendered an all-male deity club where women must refine themselves to be worthy and where the women are merely consorts.  It is a fact that both forces of masculine and feminine rose within me AS THE FORCE that IS kundalini when awakening took place beginning in 2006.  The intense energy living in me was the locus of the union of these two forces now vibrantly alive in my body.  I was one with the father and mother.  They were one within me. It was I who had to refine myself, to catch up.  Both sides of the energy cycle had much to teach me, both the north and south poles of the vibrant nimbus of energy now licking like sensual flames all over me.  But we speak of the feminine having to refine herself and no one so much as bats an eyelash.  Does anyone bother to stop and look at these stories and realize that all the god stories and goddess stories are merely stories about us written large against the spiritual skies of our inner world?  Who realizes that when we began looking to see a deity in the clouds or sky that we had defacto set that deity apart from ourselves, placing a VERY frustrated and angry and probably sexually frustrated bearded male god in a untennable situation. Well of course he would smite and destroy.  Who wouldn’t? And where on earth is the softening aspects of the feminine in all of this?  Without her we have had ten thousand years of stiffened hardened madness.  And look at how this has played out in humanity. So the feminine inside each of us, EACH of us, is vital but so is our awareness of them…..

As long as we continue to do this, we continue to turn a blind eye to our own divinity because what works here on the small level also works on the larger spiritual levels as well. The curious thing about belief (and its brother named bias) is that you wont experience a thing that you have barriers erected for. This is how for centuries people have seen women as lesser to men, essentially like cattle to be traded and sold in marriage.  Little more than slaves.

This is changing in a big way.  While change has been gradual and perhaps too slow for some, it has nonetheless created a change that does not show signs of changing back or reverting anytime soon.  Yes, we  still have the throwbacks, but on balance, things are better than they have ever been. And they can continue to keep getting better.

Here is my contribution….

Below is an image from the Hindu tradition of Shiva playing his flute to his consort, Parvati, a manifestation of Shakti.  Shiva has the nimbus around his head in green, but Shakti does not. Perhaps she is having to refine herself, her energy, before she has the same radiance as her consort Shiva.  As someone who reads auras, I can tell you that the energy surrounding women is every bit as brilliant as that around men. In some cases, it is stronger in women than in men. This makes sense since women will bear life and will have to carry this new life with its own energy sheath in a protective manner.  Having a strong bio-energetic field could have its benefits.  I show you the image just as I came across it and then the image that I changed to include a nimbus for Shakti. Hers is violet, which suggest intuition.  It is a nice warm color yet very spiritual, a nice counterpoint to Shiva’s halo.  I hope that you use this image to help raise awareness in a simple way that BOTH of the sexes are equivalent.  Please feel free to do so with attribution.  A nice remix of sorts.  It is a small thing, but is another drop of change that we all need if you ask me.

Shakti:Shiva

Shakti-Shiva2

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