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You might think that my words on the sacred two are about tantra and are thus sexual in nature.  I have had friends make comments about my poetry and writing as being about sex.  But that would be  a mistake.

Most often, when I write about the “two” I am actually writing about the twin forces contained within awakening.  This was what Jesus spoke about when he said “I am one with the father and the mother.”  Problem is, mainstream Christian dogma wrote the “mother” part out so that the religious experience became an all-male club.  The Hindu, though, along with the Taosists, recorded it rightly: kundalini, or life force, the Tao, is known as twin forces that move through the body and awareness as a potentiating force of both healing and radical change.  To show how powerful this force is, it is possible to do more healing work in ten minutes with this force alive in your than in ten years of standard talk therapy.  Part of the energy is said to be sexual.  And here is what is so important, right along with the twin-thing; the force of awakening is like a carefully controlled stream of water being so carefully tended, is allowed to overflow its tight bounds and allows for other water and other new bounds to enter in.  The flow grows, the flow breaks down old barriers.  It is sexual, yes, but it is creative, it is mental, it is physical, it is emotional, it is ego, it is intellect, it is all that we ARE. By allowing our energy to flow as one varied current, we can actually catch a glimpse of what we can be if we become less compartmentalized and controlled.  We return to a primordial state which I describe as a return to the Garden.  This is us, you see….

All that we ARE.  So my poetry?  It is about THIS. And yes, it is cast in the form of pure adoration.  This is significant and important because the “two” are not themselves really separate.  They are in truth ONE, when you experience them within your awareness, but they pull apart to form what seems to be two in the etheric body structure of the Ida and Pengala channels, and in so doing, they become a powerful creative force.  This force exists in every single person on the planet.  So when this force is liberated deep within ourselves, the twin force of kundalini releases, it is said, the Shakti and Shiva currents through the body.

Like a plug into the cosmic, we plug into the universe with a blast up the spine. Never are we ever the same after this.  And I make them adore one another like lovers because of HOW closely they work with each other in the body when you become aware of them. You cannot have one without the other.  I found that I could allow the “two” to grow in strength by allowing them to come closer and closer to one another through nothing except my own focus and awareness on my own process of energetic flow through my body and upward through the chakras and my spine.  Out of these two, there is birthed an even finer form of energy that is the core of the Christ, or Cosmic Consciousness.  Awakening is akin to conception, what the early Christians mention as “begetting” as a spiritual practice (the only remnants we have of this teaching are extant in the gnostic writings of the Nag Hammadi).  For the bulk of Christianity, the subtlety of what Jesus had to say was largely lost where his core apex teachings were concerned.  He was a man who spoke in pictures and parables to people who were drop-dead literal in their understanding and approach.  But you think I feel the Christ?  I feel what HE felt in his life and what he sought to get his followers to know.  This is also the same force that all yogis and pilgrims have felt down through time.  This is a HUMAN experience, you see, not religious or dogmatic.

I pay homage to these things.  I pray, I look, I long, I breath, and I find healing through them.  Always always, as they turn turn around the other.  And yes, I am here to state emphatically that you cannot have God the Father without Goddess The Mother.  Anything less is ignoring the truth that will one day stare straight at you like looking down the barrel of a cosmic gun ready to shoot you through and through with truth, murdering your lies and your false belief.  We all hold lies in ourselves, and most of us do not know they are lies.

Strong words, I know.  But I am through pussy-footing around.

Time to bring back the Her to the Him.  And that is what I am doing.  My words. they are about the She as much as the He.  they are at once religious in feeling but shunning dogma and false belief.  They are also fanciful, playful, fun, and passionate.  Just like every good love story should be.  So there you go.  Sexual energy, along with the REST of your energy is healing.  Subsume or hide your sexual energy out of some feeling of shame or guilt and you lose a strand of your own healing.  And what does that get you?  More repression and sickness.

So why did we strip the man-god from his woman?  Why do you think we did that? I mean, really, what do you think was beneath all of that? Fear? Short-sightedness?  There may be many reasons, but in a moment we can change all of that by choosing differently.

The Goddess joins with her God right here inside of me.  It informs me, heals, and innervates.  It is for me the way Home.  And what is this?  It is merely a joining of all the opposite ends of things in the universe using a glorious and beautiful form of cosmic short-hand.  ALL opposites are thus strung along the invisible string of the Creator….IN OUR AWARENESS.  And that is the core of all religious feeling.  So back to the poetry….

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When you awaken, you awaken to a world where nothing much is the same as it was.  Clearly, there is a channel within that is opened.  Thought energy is more than just your own private thoughts.  You come to realize that thoughts really DO have power.  And here we are on the planet, chattering away inside of ourselves, and its possible to hear all of this.  Your own thoughts aren’t as private as you may have previously realized.  It isn’t that people are snooping on you, no, because once you awaken, there just isn’t the desire to such things.  The quality of your thought counts, especially when you realize just how real thoughts are.

So thought is itself energy.  We ourselves are made up of all kinds of sheaths or facets within us that all process energy in a different way.  We have maybe five basic bodies that bend the energy in certain ways the way that a prism bends light and breaks it into different colors (if you are into dividing us into such neat categories)….physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc., and so each of these will experience the same energy differently.  Each will be a facet or expression of what you are. At one place it will feel as exquisite sexual energy while in another place it will feel more sensual, less sexual.  In another place, it will feel so powerful as though you can do anything.  In another place within you, this energy might be like divine love, in another place it might illuminate and clarify your inner sight….there are so many ways that energy from the cosmos can be experienced!

One aspect of your energetic being is sexual energy.  Now we have a lot of repression surrounding this part of ourselves.  There is a huge amount of shame as a race on this count.  This shame that has remained unresolved in most people and it has tended to make many of us prisoners to old hurts and old karmic threads that have kept us on the merry-go-round of karma for lifetimes.  LIFETIMES. But sexual energy is one aspect of who you are, and it is easier to deal with the more you allow yourself to be healed. Once you are able to clear each vehicle (as the Hindus call it), as you clear each center that channels energy through you, you can begin to have a clearer and more peaceful existence.  You can also use each center for life in a way that brings you fulfillment instead of snags or problems.

What makes Tantra so important isn’t that its about sex, its that it deals with sexual energy as a way to reach union with the divine as well as a way to heal powerfully and also quickly (when you make yourself available to it).  See, the divine does not have the shame you have.  The universe has no problem meeting you and merging with you in any way you are willing to merge with it.  The vast consciousness that IT is simply has moved beyond shame a long time ago.  As a result of this, it seems perfectly capable of experiencing bliss and wonder no matter how we approach it.  the only thing missing is how WE react to the same thing.  Learning how to be without shame is important.  By this I do not mean to say that you are shameless and thus unstudied in your morality, no.  What I mean is that you are more like a child.  You return to a purer place within before all of the guilt and shame about your body, about who you are or how you are was put into place by you. When you do that, you experience whatever it is more directly, less encumbered.  When you do this sexually, you are dealing with a very powerful form of energy.  This energy can speed yourself along, but it is not for the feint of heart.  Using all of you is a beautiful thing in spiritual work.  It reaches into religion but without the dogma. Sexual energy, then, moves fast and is felt by others.  You need to be careful about how you direct it and use it.  As a result, your own mind and your own issues need to be healed and worked on so that the quality of your experience will continue to be more and more refined.

Approaching this kind of work requires a great deal of self honesty and courage. To dig down beneath the surface is something that most people find very uncomfortable.  To do this kind of work, the very soul of what tantra is (which isn’t predicated on sex….no…sex is ONE manifestation or arm of tantra) you need to be ready and you need to be willing to see that some of what you think you are perceiving is part of a worn out belief system about yourself, about sex itself, and about other people as well.  There are few other places where these shortcomings rise to the surface as quickly as in sacred sexuality.  Most are afraid of it, or see what they want to see through the eyes of shame when they get down into its depths.  But the path provides a powerful and potent way for healing to take place.

It is hard for some folks to know what remains.  What remains in you is what gets in the way with a direct experience of yourself and the divine.  What remains to be surrendered?  What is not in your highest?  It is hard to know what isn’t in your highest always…..because sometimes your highest is a few steps ahead of where you are…..so this means that you have to be willing to accept what your higher self sends to you as signs, as directives, or as outcomes or events that can lead you to the next step in your path.   In time, with enough attention, the answers will come.  I know this may sound laissez- faire, but I promise you that this is an aspect of co-creation that will work if you allow it.  the secret is that you can make ANY technique work IF you believe in it enough.  If doing a series of incantations allows you to believe that something will come to pass, then by golly, it will!  That is the nature of belief!  Ask that you be shown.  And be patient.

Keep at it.

Sometimes you need to be ready to see before you can see. Let the universe pave the way for you.  You think you are this limited being in this small body when in truth you are one life looking out through this one body but you have many many many more bodies, lives, experiences beyond comprehension.  With time being an illusion, ALL of you is available NOW.  Your future selves, your God or Goddess self in its advanced state is available to you…..and its at your fingertips.  Accelerate yourself….and you will see.

 

 

So tantra isn’t really about sex, but it is about creative energy, surrender, and, yes, sexual energy.  There is a very big difference, there, though.  Some feel the need to respond in a more typical way with tantric energy and release the energy.  However, it can also be used to elevate ones self.  You can use it to do things, create things, or to live a life that is devoted to love in a more subtle way.  There are countless ways to utilize the energy, and no one way better than another. But its not always about sexual union only.  Feeling sexual energy is not the same as being engaged sexually, and this energy when felt powerfully enough actually has the power to transform you.  This has been the aim of many followers, many monks, many priests and priestesses down through the ages.  It isn’t the only one, of course, but it is one very valid way toward self transformation.

I have found how love and sexual energy go hand in hand….for love is NOT sexual energy, but sexual energy is an expression of love, or CAN be if love is holding its hand.  Do you see?  Sexual energy is like a raw fire.  For a long time we have simply misused this gift, not understanding its hidden potential and power for healing. We can use that fire to burn down the house and barn or we can  manage that fire within the bounds of love and devotion.  By allowing yourself to be open to the All, you can experience something here on the planet with the divine that is simply not here with many humans yet.  Being able to FEEL something HERE that is about this seeming “other world” on the planet is huge.  It is what I call Anchoring The Vibration.  Being able to anchor a vibration here is so important.  Really.  So by doing this kind of work, you aren’t JUST doing it for yourself, you are also laying down a path that makes it easier for others to reach it.  You are setting up a frequency that will be easier for others to match or follow or find.

And I am just here reminding you that this is so.

So with tantra, you can find God-dess or the divine.  It is right in front of you.  Now breathe deep and just let it in.  Let it be.  Realize and remember who you are.  You are more than just this one life.  You are so much more…..now breathe it in and let the divine cradle and love you….it is possible to know the “more” that you are by letting it all be.

The energy will guide you if you don’t allow yourself to go immediately to the sexual part.  Feel into the energy what is less obvious at first. Meditate on it, and feel how you feel when you surrender sexually, and then seek to do the same without sexual expression.  What does that result in?  Does it bring you to a level of humility or devotion?  Does it help you to see yourself in a new way?

Part of sexual energy is connected to something called prana.  Some think of it as life force, but I experience it as a universal energy that is of a very fine vibration.  As you allow this energy to move through you, it can help to throw off old traumas and hurts as well as false beliefs about yourself and the world.  By learning how to become more aware of prana, you can also learn how to direct it with purpose.  This is done largely through breathing exercises.  Breathing stimulates the flow of prana.  The reason why “breath of fire” is used in kundalini yoga, a very fast and aggressive form of breathing, is because it CAN stimulate a lot of prana to flow.  Yogi’s have learned that prana is stimulated by breath.  As a result, there are methods, entire branches of yoga dedicated to this one practice such as pranayama yoga.  Through centering focus on energy centers in the body and through breath work and fasting, the ancients knew that kundalini could be aroused.  Kundalini is itself nothing more than an abundance of prana in the body.  It is not a spirit or a religion at all.  By arousing this energy, the self comes face to face with an acceleration of process in healing.  And coincidentally, creative and sexual energy are also enhanced (but then, so are all other faculties).

If you thought that tantra was just about sex or an orgy or something like that, you missed the boat on that one.  Like the layers of a bloom, the flower opens to reveal what is often a mystery to many.  We have just scratched the surface.  U

Blessings to you…

 

-P.

Reading through some posts of others, in the most synchronistic of ways, and in perfect timing, I cam across a thought that has been the same thought I have been thinking on and off for months, years.

We have a great deal of shame surrounding sex.  There are religions that make it the most unclean but necessary thing, which of course seems a bit paradoxical when you think about it.  At least I do.  I can remember sitting through a sermon at my grandmother’s church, though, where the pastor talked about sex.  He said “….and after all, God created sex so there must be a path to it that is holy….it can’t just be something unclean….”  Sometimes surprises lie in the most unsuspecting places.   The taboos on sex are so profoundly dug into some of our cultures that it is a wonder anyone is able to access any of its great potential for spiritual liberation.  Yes, liberation.  This is the essence of tantra, which isn’t so much about sex as it is about allowing your own energy to move freely through every inch of you, and this includes the current that we think of as feeling sexual.  We have divided ourselves into all of these boxes for what is right and wrong, good and bad.  We have divided ourselves, you see, and in our shame, we have locked away the greatest secret of our souls.  I am talking about sexual energy, it may seem, but it is way more than that.  It is like discovering one day that you are this river and you have closed off a whole slew of tributaries that have kept the flow of your own current at a slow and pitiful ebb.  You just never realized it was slow and pitiful.  To you, it may have seemed perfectly fine.  Such is the life of those who sleep.  Upon awakening, this tributary is un-dammed and the force of its waters, which is JUST energy, flows through those sacred channels of your river as fresh water moves through your veins and pushes you powerfully towards a still deeper ocean which waits for you,, gleefully, hungrily, happily.

The journey through awakening is undoing all of the division within you.  When you can dissolve your misgivings and shame about your own sexual energy, you have dissolved a most important dividing line that keeps you from experiencing the infinite.  We are not meant to be divided.  The only thing that divides us is belief.  Conditioning.  You decided to feel shame about sex, about your body, about your own true beauty.   Something in the culture or in its institutions seemed like it was more powerful than your own native divinity and you shut if off, shut it down, a process that has taken place probably for countless lives.  It is for some reason an ingrained glitch.  it is time, I say, to let that all go.  And be free.

Being free does not mean being promiscuous.  While it is said that kundalini is a sexual energy, I tend to feel that most think this way simply because they have never really FELT their sexual energy in totality.  We are so used to feeling other channels more and so we have kept our channels of energy through which our sexuality flow tightly controlled and managed.  But in letting go, you don’t become promiscuous.  Well, perhaps when awakening first comes you might not know what to do with this relative flood of new energy coming in. I can remember driving to the studio, my hands gripping the wheel, wondering how I would get through the day like this.  So yes, it was a bit of an adjustment.  And yes, there were efforts to release this energy in order to find relief.  The realization I had was I could bleed this energy 24/7 and it would not touch its flow.  It was then that I rethought all of this.  I sunk deep into its source and it showed me without words that this was just what it was and there was nothing wrong with me and I was to get used to it.  I was to get used to it in the same way I had gotten used to all other forms of energy.  I was to simply become a vessel, a channel for it and to not hold onto it or see it as any different than any other form of energy.  My challenge was to undo my shame about it and let it simply flow.  The curious thing about releasing shame and owning your experience is that it makes things a hell of a lot easier.

Normally when we feel sexual energy, we tend to want to DO something about it.  It is a powerful motivating force, certainly.  The interesting thing is that its energy is not somehow exclusive to itself.  It is YOUR energy and that energy can also be focused into other things if you want.  It can be shifted and used in other ways.  There are other currents very closely aligned to sexual energy, and one of these is creativity.  I have been writing about how to release blockages using creative energy.  It is perhaps one of the single most effective methods and it does not require you to believe anything, or buy into anything.  I know that in years past I was a bit taken aback when I would feel sexually aroused during the act of creation.  Inspiration is itself VERY similar to the act of intimacy.  When I  observe the symptoms of inspiration I see all the same symptoms of sexual intimacy.  The difference is that in inspiration it is the fusion of the two polarities within the self which bring forth the burst (like orgasm) of the inspired moment, the big “A-ha!” moment when the light goes on over our heads.  And what could be more enlightening than the moment of orgasm where you lose yourself and find yourself all at the same time.  SO very much like awakening, except sustained throughout the days, weeks, months, and years.  And you learn to contain this, channel it, and deal with it in a way that is harmonious and meaningful.  Whatever that means.  Or you struggle with it, try to make deals with it, maybe try to bleed it off in the vain hopes of somehow lessening it.  I don’t think that this energy, kundalini is merely sexual, it is ALL energy raised to a higher pitch. An optimal one. We focus so upon the sexual part simply because it seems so novel or new or previously taboo.  It is just part of what and what we are from birth (not from puberty) as it mirrors a characteristic of our souls.  When you open the doors to your own unbound soul energy, which kundalini does, the lights turn on, the volume increases, and everything is far more vivid and alive.  Because you are.

In reading just moments ago on another blog, the writer said it perfectly, the same words and thoughts I had encountered….which is that it is just energy.  And if we dam it up, if we seek to ignore it, it will do just what all repression does to us; cancer, degenerative diseases, depression, fear, anxiety.  All of this has its lasting effects on the body.  The body can turn on a dime chemically if you let it, which is why kundalini is said to give us greater youthfulness.  Certainly the aging process has slowed down for me.  All of my siblings have grown grey and I am the only one remaining with a head of dark hair.  I am not the youngest, either.  I am not saying I don’t have grey hair.  I am getting it, bit by bit, but the last seven years has shown a range of very real physiological changes.  When we can be more true to ourselves, to our soul, to our bodies, we will tend to be a lot healthier. I do not really talk about this at all to anyone, and I certainly do not sneak sexual innuendo into conversation, which is just…..creepy.  But what I do is I LIVE this energy in the moment.  I feel like I am a flower bud that is in a perpetual state of bursting open.  All the time. I know that just its presence has turned heads, has caused waitresses to stumble over their words, to lose their thoughts and then turn redfaced as they apologize for not being able to speak.  I have observed how people who didn’t notice me when walking by me often turn my way as if they are looking for something.  This is the one phenomenon I notice the most.  This is the subconscious self waking up but not enough to tell them just what it is that they are picking up on.  So deep is their slumber.  But just because you slumber does not mean you are doomed to sleep.  You simply have to become aroused.  Roused.  By something.

In truth, the world hungers for this so badly that it often is the reason for so much strife.  We are literally hitching ourselves to a post that we weren’t meant to be hitched to.  And we strain against the post the rest of our days.  If we could but shine this on in life moment by moment, we would probably feel less repressed, less unhappy and perhaps more of an inspiration to our lovers and loved ones. Everyone is pretty grumpy when they are still tied to that old hitching post.  It just ins’t natural.  And when you can BE natural and just FLOW, why all that frustration evaporates.  You can just let this thing glow all around you and envelope you and just not worry.  Instead of it needing to channel itself through your genitals, it turns into honey and courses through your veins and comes out as a lovely ambrosia through your pores.  It oozes out of you, it causes heads to turn.  I have seen how people will hop to it when you know how to shine it on.  And I don’t mean manipulating people.  I mean being natural.  The natural state.  Eden.  Here.  Now.  This is the way that we were meant to be, and everyone knows it.  Its just that most sleep and are not aware that they are dreaming. They think “that” thing is the dream and what they dream is real. It is all backwards.  The real world is the world that lies within you since THIS is the world that will greet you when you leave your body to live on in other forms.  This inner world is the real world, you see, and if that world isn’t made right, then how do you think you get on in the next with so much division and mess in there?

So kundalini cleans that up for you, or tries to.  We, we act like we are so busy with the work of awakening, but in truth, the more we just stand out of the way, the more effective the infinite is in cleaning up our mess.  This is in truth the higher self doing this.  It is a higher range vibration that IS us.  It is our own souls energy.  It is very much like being visited by a time traveller in the sense that here is this highly refined state of YOU now alive in your body.  It is this way because the soul lives outside of time and thus is not bound by it. It is hard to even believe this could be true, so used we are to this time-bound hitching post.  But that is just what it is.  And this soul, it really has no use for systems or methods or beliefs.  At least mine doesn’t.  It is in what I can only call a preexisting state.  It is the rock that touches the surface of reality, but keeps skipping across the water, but unlike the rock, it never sinks all the way down into the water.  It is connected to your earthbound self, for that self is a projection of it, but it is able to know itself in this realm that is nondual.  In this awareness, it knows itself as part of everything and can feel and touch and taste everything. It just ins’t limited.  Just imagine what you could do with something like that. Imagine what the world would be like with a couple million people churning their depths like that.  As a being who is my guide in this life (I discovered in awakening) said to me, “It’s a game changer.”  So step aside and let IT do the work.  It is a heck of a lot easier if you do.

So if you want to think this is all heresy, go right ahead, but the facts are with me.  Sexual energy has refined me, connected me, made me more intuitive, more in touch, and more alive.  It is not some foreign agent, but is just what I am.  And I am happy with that.  Very happy.  It brings me miracles and fulfillment simply because I see now that there is a better way, a much easier way.  Less and less, life just isn’t the struggle it used to be.  It isn’t this because i am getting out of my own way.  And trust me, I really really got in my own way all the time.  I told a friend that we are like blind spiders who spin the web of our lives never realizing that WE are the ones creating it and then, turning around, seeing the web we just wove, shake our fists at it and curse it as if it was God/dess or the world.  It is just us.  My friend pointed out that there was something in one of the Vedas that said something very similar, just without the blind part.  Well, I am in good company, but even the Vedics could be taught a thing or two.  And we all can.  And it isn’t like I am atop some great perch or anything.  I am subject to all the same contractions of consciousness, its just that I know they are a choice I am in that moment unaware I am making.  Such is the nature of our own self made blindness.  But each time, I take something from whatever I pull away from.

We just aren’t meant to shrink away from anything but to let it all flow freely through us.  It is in the desire to clutch it that we have problems.  The energy is meant to flow.  We can use it, but I have found it works must better when you just let it be that freely flowing river.  And this is what I am deep down, a great flowing river.  In fact, my first awakening dream led me to a temple kind of place that I knew was my soul and in the center was this wellspring that came up out of the ground.  It flowed the strongest at its source and you could see the entirety of everything reflected in it.  This is so not because of what I am but what we ALL are.  It just is.  It isn’t ego or any sense of self importance.  It is just how we each are connected and it seems creation needs to move like a river in order to remain vital and healthy.

So sexual energy is like this.  When we shackle it with shame, it darkens it and slows its current.  We lessen it and put rules around it.  When allowed to be free, it does not seek to impose itself on anything or anyone.  It is not seeking anything except to know itself ever more brilliantly in the moment, which also serves to increase your awareness of it in the moment. It seems creation NEEDS this potent energy along with all the other currents moving through you. It is actually incredibly hopeful and inspiring.  I find that I no longer pretend my feelings way or shove them down.  I just let them flow.  Bit by bit, I am wearing away a backlog of shame about the simplest of things.  This all leads to a very natural state of self love, something that is vital and missing in the world.  We mistake it to mean selfish love, but it is not this.  Not at all. It is worshipping at the one altar that will ever matter, which is the soul you were given.  THIS is the holy of holies.  No graven images.  You are the image of the divine, see?  YOU are.  And as you undo all that kept you from feeling like this was wrong, the closer you get to the Holy of Holies, which is inside of you. And me.  And inside everything that IS.  All that is created is sacred.  All has its own inner temple, its own font of divine energy waiting to flow once the divisions are lessened enough to permit it to enter.  This is not narcissism, it is divine.  Instead of seeking love from others, we find the love inside of us already.  Then that love will heal the holes in our bucket so that we cease needing to depend on others for approval or love or all the rest.  We return to a place where we are okay, where we are enough and then we can be full and inspire others to be full also. If I am always full then I am never lacking.  If I am empty and seek to be filled by another, that other may not always be available or capable to provide what I desperately need or seek.  This becomes the root of so many problems.  Be full.  Then others might heal simply by realizing there is a more sane approach, which just happens to be the opposite of how we have tended to do things here.  At first it takes some getting used to.  Ego is so affronted by it sometimes, but as you wear that away, it becomes soooo much easier.  And life mirrors that.

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