Archives for posts with tag: secret teachings

I was not satisfied with the teaching in church….I knew there was more. I didn’t know what it was, only that it was wanting. I knew this above all else, beyond the explanations of others that I was merely “prideful” or unable to take the teaching as truth. No, there was more, I knew it beyond all else.
When I awakened I was lucky to have seen how there WERE teachings by Jesus himself which he passed on to his disciples in books that spoke directly about a process whereby one entered the kingdom. These were central teaching that acted like a key to understanding everything else Jesus was teaching in his ministry. The problem was that these teaching were demonized and anathematized by the church. These were part of this something “more.” I knew that in fact Jesus was teaching his followers about awakening and that the truth was hidden or obfuscated in numerous ways. History offered up her secrets and laid bare the many ways that contributed to our losing these central teachings. What is so amazing to me is that these teachings are actually the lynch pins in understanding all that Jesus taught about. It’s pretty incredible to look at all of this and know that this went down in the way that it did.
I once wrote about this issue and had some of my friends asking me why I was so critical about Christianity, or why I hated the church. It’s too easy to feel that way when dealing with this issue and to me, it is an easy way out of actually examining things closely and asking some very fair questions. But it’s not out of a deep hate or any of that. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I want a religion that offers the keys to self realization, of actually knowing what this kingdom is. Truth is a curious thing; we can have all levels of it and still be missing key points.

I have done the hard work of inquiring and looking. I have poured through the texts of the New Testament as well as those that were not included, from apocrypha to the Nag Hammadi. I have studied issues surrounding translation, how the contextual nature of Aramaic actually does matter when translating to any language, as well as what biblical scholars are saying that pastors dare not touch. More than this, I awakened and saw that the only books that helped describe my new state of being were the words of Jesus teaching his followers about the kingdom, which fit my experience perfectly….but also happened to have been deemed heresy. They had been cast aside and had never made it into canon.  The more that I read, the more it became clear that what we got was a version of the truth, but not the full truth.  I’m not even suggesting that this was some sort of conspiracy.  It may have been simply a conspiracy of ignorance acted upon by those who had less than the full story.  But even half the story is better than no story, and it wasn’t as if we weren’t getting truths.  We just didn’t get its heart, and this, dear readers, is the hardest one to swallow for some of us today.  It is covered over first by some 1700 years of tradition and then it includes a whole new dimension of thinking added, a great mystery that has been hidden from all of us (for whatever reason).

Since my experience in awakening is the same exact phenomenon as others who have awakened, and it’s all described in the same way by nearly everyone, and is being described in these cast-away texts, it begs the question; isn’t it possible that something very important was missed? And perhaps, then, might this missing piece be important to know the fullness of this man’s great insight and teaching? If you found out that the teaching of Jesus was incomplete, wouldn’t you, as a follower of Christ, want to know? I’m asking you to put your pride aside and get curious and be simple like children, ripe for hearing what might just be really big news.

Awakening, which is the kingdom, brings a renewed way of using the mind. If you can teach yourself to forgo mere rational thought, you can activate more and more of your capacity for understanding, which is truly liberating. It requires humility because there is so much to give up in order to see in this way. There is a blizzard of biases and beliefs that rage in such places, and the very religion that was created to support these teachings has essentially continued to demonize the concept of awakening in some quarters. Once these biases have been cleared, though, the mind becomes a luminous field of awareness in direct proportion to how much bias has been released. But it isn’t just that, it’s letting yourself be shown, led, taken by the presence of the indwelling divine and it’s child which is the Christ consciousness. Others call it Cosmic Consciousness, or Cosmic Mind. It is all the same and emerges in the same way in each tradition because this is what we ALL are, rather than the beliefs we hold. Remember how Jesus said the kingdom is within you? That might just be an important clue to all of us. It’s what’s inside-this does not happen outside of any of us. Where, then, do you think you will meet God?

This more asks me to continually to let go of my familiar moorings to here and as I do, new understanding floods in, mysteries become knowns, and the universe resolves into a greater and greater miracle. But no words can contain this more…you just have to go and see for yourself.

All of this is like a seed that grows into a sprout, then a plant, and then a flower. The flower opens more and more and this flower is awareness. This is how awakening proceeds; it is the smallest of seeds that grows in stages. More and more, it opens, revealing still-deeper layers of comprehension. To get there, I lay aside all rational thought and allow my mind to go blank. Yes, blank. It is here that absent thought a great and ineffable presence grows that is a love unlike any other. Everything I could ever wish to know becomes available in that “space.” If you believe you can’t, you probably won’t….but if you consider it possible, then it becomes possible. I wish this for everyone because it reveals our own foolishness and opens us to wonder and awe. The world so needs this right now.

Until next time….


In a recent post I wrote about a discovery I had made that has formed the genesis of a book on the subject of early Christianity and its mystic roots.  This discovery is not discernible through the canonical gospels, and requires a certain level of understanding in order to “get it.”  Rather than being a theory, it is more a certainty to my mind because of the language used and the level of understanding in those documents which I first accessed.  This is akin to a kind of “key” to understanding the language of what was, originally, the teachings that drove to the innermost realms of understanding union with the divine.  To this I direct you to the often spoken words by Jesus, “I am one with the father” or “I and the father are one.”  This, however, is just the tip of an iceberg of sorts that nearly all scholars have been unable to understand.


Passers by  incorrectly assume that I am somehow drawing from the canonical gospels.  I do draw from them, but I also understand that there are important impediments built into the gospels that keep much of the deeper knowledge either obscure, or entirely absent.  This is due to a number of factors, and these will be covered in my manuscript.  While it is highly simplistic, what I will show is that what seems to have happened with the gospels in canon is similar to a game called “Payphone.”  In this game, people sit in a circle and one person in the circle gives the person next to them a specific message.  This message is exact in its wording, is recorded for proof later, and once this is done, the message is then sent around the circle.  The more people in the circle, the more likely the message once it reaches the last person in the circle, will bear little resemblance to the original message.  Am I saying that the problem with the gospels is simply a matter of misconstruing the language somehow?  Yes, in some cases, it most certainly was this. But there is more to it than just this.  First, those who repeat the message do not understand the message to begin with, and begin using words that were never in the original message.  Simplistic, yes, but to a degree, accurate.


In the last post on this topic, I discussed what was perhaps the biggest impediment to getting the message conveyed to the canonical gospels, and this was a matter of language. Jesus taught using Aramaic and the gospels were written in Greek.  This might not seem a big thing on the surface of it, but if you understand just how different Greek is from Aramaic, you can begin to appreciate the challenges inherent in such an enterprise.


Another impediment to understanding the gospels has to do with the issue of some of the disciples having different teachings.  In the orthodox church the belief has been that Jesus did not hide any teachings from anyone, that he shared them freely to all who would listen.  But the problem is, the evidence does not support this. In fact, in gospels recently discovered, specifically the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, we can witness Peter speaking to Mary Magdalene and asking her to tell the rest of the disciples the teachings he imparted to her that he had not shared with the rest of the group. We also witness Thomas in his own gospel imparting sayings by Jesus that are different from other teachings in the other gospels.  Yes, there are teachings or sayings by Jesus in Thomas that are very similar or even identical to canonical gospels, but there is more there, also.


Early Church writers such as Origen, wrote about how to get the deeper teachings.  In Origen’s work, he directs the reader to pay attention to those instances when Jesus is teaching to large groups and then departs, with his followers asking after him clarification for what he was teaching.  Jesus gladly explains in greater detail, and instead of speaking in parables, tries to speak “directly.”  Jesus actually says that he speaks to the public in one way but speaks to his disciples in another way, which is befitting their level of understanding.


This way of teaching is mirrored in Valentinus’s way of teaching in the first century.  To understand the importance that this has, see how close Valentinus was to the secret teachings.  Valentinus was one teacher removed from what was described as the inner teachings of Paul. His teacher learned directly from Paul. Paul claimed revelation by way of a vision of Jesus who he said had imparted the secret knowledge to him.  Paul also knew some of the disciples even though he never met Jesus physically while Jesus was on the earth.  Valentinus went on to teach in a manner that was based on the way this secret knowledge had been conveyed; there was a multi-tiered approach in order to first educate, prepare, and then initiate the developing follower into the greater mysteries that was divine union.  To understand the secrecy, the final teachings were described as being like the Holy of Holies in the Jewish temple.  The Holy of Holies was a place that was visited in secret, and was kept from the eyes of the “great unwashed.”  The saying by Jesus, “pearls before swine” is operative here.  You could not hope to understand of grasp these deeper mysteries without being prepared.  As a result of this, it appears that Jesus did provide teachings to some disciples that he did not give to others.  Jesus knew what he was doing.


When Peter asks Mary to convey to the rest of the group assembled the teachings that Jesus gave her, Peter denounces her once she is finished.  Here we see Jesus’s reasoning for imparting these teachings to Mary and not to Peter; one was ready for a certain teaching  while others were not, which Peter and his brother Andrew clearly illustrate by their ignorance cloaked in incredulity.  While Peter may have been a chauvinist and perhaps even jealous of Mary’s knowledge, the teachings may well have gone completely over his head too.  I contend that this is why the teachings in these books have gone over the modern scholar’s heads, too.  To understand them, you need to have someone who has been initiated, or prepared for the revelations.  While this may sound elitist, in truth, it has nothing at all to do with elitism.  These teachings are there before anyone willing to read and take them into their hearts, minds, and even bodies.  You have to have initiated a clear channel to the divine and this channel can be known by those who know how to test and look for evidence of it.


There are other direct hints that Jesus imparted some teachings to some and not others.  In Thomas, for example, Jesus speaks privately with Thomas for a time, after which some of the disciples walk up to him asking him what he had been told.  What Thomas says is telling.  He says that if he were to tell them what Jesus had said, they would surely stone him!  We don’t know what Jesus said to Thomas, but assuming that Thomas understood the message, it may well have been construed as being blasphemous, even by his own fellow disciples!   While we don’t have a lot of these examples we have enough, I think, to show that the secret teachings were meant for those who were ready.  As a result, you would not expect to find a wealth of examples of Jesus teaching in secret because he probably would not have been seen teaching this way by others.


It is also possible that Jesus taught in a way that was more in line with the Valentinian model, which was that he taught to the masses and then waited for those who were mystified and wanted to know more, to follow after him.  This is what Origen certainly has suggested.  If the Valentinian model was reflective of what actually went down, then it makes sense that people were indeed given a curriculum that prepared them for the rarefied experience of divine union.  Again, you didn’t just throw pearls to swine, lest they be trampled underfoot. Jesus may well have been revealing enough to the public that those who felt moved to learn more were able to, and may have been driven to.  This would be one way to vet your followers in a sense, not to exclude them, but to simply wet ones interest and see who follows after, hoping, perhaps hungering, to know more.


In my own work, I bring in my own experience as one who has been initiated, branded by spirit, who opened the doors within to glimpse the divine.  I do not proclaim this proudly, only clearly, and explain how it is that we can all know the revelation, the apocalypitc message that is inherent in the experience. This is a process that is open to anyone, but in every single tradition in the world, the process of divine union comes about through preparation.  While I did not have a teacher, I awakened myself through a series of very blessed events that all took place in what I can only think was somehow coordinated. This “divine conspiracy” to awaken me led me into the innermost core of the very heart of what divine union entails.  As a result, what I found was that the way that I managed to awaken was actually described, word for word, by Jesus.  Indeed.  But these words were not contained in the canonical gospels.  Hidden away for over 1600 years, these came to light and are moving many to rethink ancient Christianity. As a result, my telling you about it would be like Mary speaking to Peter about her expeirence.  You would not believe it.  And this is perhaps as it should be; you cannot “get” this by way of reading books or hearing teachings only.  You have to do something more than just that.  You have to be able to take a cognitive leap, a  leap of faith that lands you in a state of being that begins to remake you, renovates, renews, heals, and resurrects a latent or hidden part of the self which no one knows until it happens to them.


This way to the divine, however, is not exclusive the Christianity.  It is, and has been, available to all regardless of their faith.  This is one of the biggest hurdles for those within the church who may have been brought up to believe that when Jesus said “only by me” that he meant that they had to accept him as savior.  The problem is that when Jesus said this, he meant it because there was not another person who had attained what he had attained at that time.  He was the only bona fide conveyor for the depths of that which could lead men and women to salvation.  Instead of this being an outward event, a kingdom that one reaches for, it was found entirely within.  Phillip in his gospel explains that what Jesus was doing was making his followers into Christs.  But you would not know this unless this consciousness had streamed through you and begun its work.  While this may sound strange to some in the church, consider that Jesus also said in the canonical gospels that his followers would do even greater things than he.  This is fitting for a man who wanted to impart a certain level of consciousness to his followers.


The result of this impedement, as well as others, which I will be covering in my work, it resulted in the greatest story never told.  It is time to tell it.

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