Archives for posts with tag: root chakra

acupuncture-chart

NOTE:  I know….another long post.  Sorry about that, really. But I am asking you on an adventure and we can’t do that with a bunch of bulletted text, can we? So here goes the long version that asks you take a cup of tea and a cookie or something and just soak into it…

Imagine that overlaid on your body is an extremely fine webwork of energy lines, fine as spiders thread which create a vast jungle of pathways that align to organs and centers in your body that are physical that these lines help to feed the necessary nutrient of life force or prana to. You can’t see or touch these lines, but you can feel them.  In fact, there are people, like myself, who can see the energy radiating off of them which can tell you all about where that person is physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  It sounds a little wild to some people, but really, its only because you have never heard of it or experienced it directly for yourself.  But when you do, it is a game changer.  But you don’t have to see this energy in order to work with it.  There is a lot that you can do with it that is healthy and beneficial.

These lines that make up the energy body begin so small that they are difficult to see.  They go down in scale to subatomic since the energy force literally does feed right into and out of the subatomic.  Its a very very detailed system for carrying energy.  Most systems for understanding this only show the seven chakras that go up the core of the body.  In the same way that your vascular system goes from extremely small structures that feed into organs and cells, they get bigger and bigger like the branches of a tree.  Finally they go up a central main trunk, which is where the most obvious centers of vortex energy reside.  We call these “chakras” which mean “wheel” or “disc” in the Sanskrit.

You don’t need to know anything about esoteric traditions to know and understand what a chakra is or what your energy is.  I can tell you that by becoming sensitive to energy fields that are in others around you and by feeling your own energy, you can learn right away FROM the energy itself to know how it behaves and how incredibly complex but beautiful it is. By learning directly with the energy, you can allow your own natural intuitiveness to bloom.  Most people feel they have to learn this from another person, but I say that you literally have the capacity within you to decode the information for yourself because it is what you are.  But absent that, a few very basic guidelines about how to reach a place where the energy of the infinite can move through you with calm and peace.

Blocks As Solid (Ideas and Emotions)

We like to think of energy as something that is not solid, but I want to propose to you that at the level of energy itself, the energy body has amazing structure and a kind of “solidity” to it that makes the lines that run through it that the Chinese have charted as “meridians” as incredibly consistent from one person to the next.  Far from being just a current or amorphous flow of energy, the energy that makes up our consciousness is amazingly structured.  It is out of this “solidity” that energetic objects can get stuck in the system that is our light body.  In the same way that food can get stuck in your throat, energy can be stuck, sometimes for years, lifetimes even, in your energy body.  The result of removing the block is that perception and awareness changes and the person feels much more peaceful and happy.

But we are a cluster of thousands of these blocks.  These blocks are always emotions that were not fully felt in one way or another. Do you fear your rage? Do you find yourself putting it away or stuffing it down?  That breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend where you pulled yourself together and stopped crying because you were afraid you were going to just fall apart? Its possible that you were stuffing something down. Or how about that moment when you feared something that you did not understand…a feeling that just hung there like dirty laundry on the clothesline?  Afraid, we leave it alone…..and we shove it down.  By not fully processing any form of emotion, we literally create a kind of bottled knot of whatever that emotion is that gets stored in the energy body.

The Body Thinks

There is a lot of evidence that I am finding that shows HOW the energy body and the physical body work together to either store or to release these blocks.  It has to do with the nervous system, the brain, as well as the current of prana and how it is polarized in the life force field itself.

The light body is made up of two fields of energy that are joined and that replenish each other. They aren’t really even “two” but two ends of a spectrum of energy that represents a kind of cosmic totality that makes it possible for you to then connect into the totality that exists beyond you.  This is the way this energy works, and is why you can feel the rush of the universe move through you in moments of nondual awareness (or as a continual awareness depending on the extent of your experience).  Two-in-one (energies) who then birth a transcendent third energy.  You see? All of this activity is felt as taking place not in the head but all through the body.

What I am getting at is that there is already evidence to support that the body “thinks” and stores memory.  Now this stands in direct opposition to what we all have been taught, but what we have learned about our capacity to store memory is simply lacking.  Consider that the tissues in your body contain neurons, enough neurons in your gut for the brain of the average cat.  THAT is a lot of processing power.  What do you think our gut is doing with all of that?  What does your gut tell you? 🙂 So you see, the body has this capacity for dealing with memory, yes, and there is also a way to use somatics (body knowledge) to aid in releasing these memories.  Unlike the brain, the body seems to be more selective in the memories it stores.  It seems at this point in time, to be storing memories that it has had trouble with.  These can now be released once the individual is ready to release them.  And doing so is a saving grace because whatever the short coming was, or the fault or hurt or fear or rage, it all evaporates after releasing these blocks.

In the work I was doing with my friend Alison who is herself awakened and a gifted intuitive, we found that even matter itself has a propensity to hold blocked energy.  I one experience that unfolded that I write about in my book, I describe how we unlocked an energy that had been blocked at a physical site that involved the murder of a man who had been drowned in a lake.  At the time, we did not know that a body had been found in the lake that we saw in our inner vision, but it had been discovered as the waters receded in what was then a dry lake bed (and his body was discovered along with some of his belongings enough to identify him).  We were able to describe a scenario that had a group of friends going out on the lake in the middle of the night with one of their friends not returning.  By simply recognizing the truth of this event, we were able to release it.  Six months after our encounter our local newspaper printed a story about the man who had died in the lake!  It was pretty amazing that events in the physical world would be so closely tied to our own encounter.  The newspaper story told the story of the four friends who took this man out onto the lake.  What we saw was that he was murdered for an elicit love affair with the wife or girlfriend of his friend. It was perhaps the reason why the blocked energy could be released….because someone was able to see what really happened on that night.  No one else would have been able to really see the events as they took place.  While we had testimony from his friends as part of the historical record, it is interesting how no one seemed to even entertain the idea of foul play at all.  Basically, it came down to four people all saying that their friend drowned. As long as everyone sticks to their story, then no one is the wiser.

And of course, this lead the skeptical to suggest that I saw something that was not there, or that I was making it up or seeing a real event bu interpreting it to fit my own life where I felt as though I had been drowned. And I will concede that this is certainly a real possibility.  What suggests to me that we were seeing real events was because both Alison and I were picking up on all the same information, information that was in line with the story when it came out in the newspapers.

And this is where the second lesson in doing this kind of work comes in.  When we went up to this lake, we were simply going to see the sun setting.  But what unfolded was an event not unlike one that had taken place in my own life. There was something eerily similar to what had happened to me and to our friend who drowned in the lake.  While my life was not taken from me, my experience in my marriage was that I was being held underwater to be drowned before my own children.  It was itself a really painful experience that happened to me, something that people in the psychiatric community call ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome.”  One parent tries to destroy the other parent in the eyes of the children.  When it happens to you, it feels like the life is being sucked out of your body.  it feels like you are drowning.  It was appropriate that I would pick up on this eerie energy that was skulking about in those hills.  It was scary at first….sinister….but as we worked through the memory, I found that I was touching on a whole host of feelings that were in me as well.  By working with one block we were able to clear the other block.

But what took place in the wake of this experience is also very telling.  In the same way that clearing a block in your body leads to a world of new possibilities, the area where this drowning took place also underwent a lot of changes in the years following our event.  Renovations were called for in the main buildings, a new arts initiative was called for with new people with progressive ideas coming onto the scene.  It was as though a new window opened for the people who lived and worked around this location.  To date, a slew of new initiatives have been undertaken on the part of the owners of the property where this lake is.  Its interesting to see how a location can be stuck for years only to see how it becomes unstuck, with a flow of new people, new ideas, and new possibilities entering the scene.  The same happens to you when you release these blocks, too!

Complimentary Blocks And The Law Of Attraction

Until a block is cleared, the block can be the basis of an attraction by others who are either similarly blocked or complimentary blocked.  What this means is that you either have someone who has had the same KIND of experience or someone who compliments the experience as in the case of someone who has a fear of being pushed, say, and you attract a person who seems to like to push you a lot!  THAT would be an example of a complimentary attraction.  A positive complimentary attraction would be somethign similar but in the positive, not negative.  In either case, however, the two people feel the similarities even if they are opposites, and these dynamics open up the flow of energy within us. They fill a role be it positive or negative.  These aspects of the other person can lay dormant for decades before expressing themselves, or they can be playing in the background all the time.  However, when you release this material, you release any possibility for this same kind of blocked material to ever be of any consequence to you in the future.  it is gone like a poof of smoke.  And this is why this kind of work is so important and life changing; you can change your whole life based on one big critical pivotal move in clearing your blocks in your body.  The result is that you NEVER feel energized by behaviors that would have effected you before.  It’s as though your mind has been completely rewired when it comes to whatever hot button issue this block represented to you in the past.  There is a lot to suggest that this event does literally have the power to rewire the brain in seconds flat!  How’s that for a speedy transformation?

It really is that fast and that easy.  When you have enough of these you realize that you can actually become a free person in ways you have never experienced before.

Ways Of Clearing Blocks

The best way to work through blocks is to pay attention to the ones that come up the most for you.  This is one most obvious way.  But these blocks may also be the hardest to clear away.  I am of the observed opinion that clearing smaller blocks is the way to go since it can loosen up material surrounding one block only to result in a kind of energetic avalanche with other blocks going at about the same time.

You can identify blocks in your body by simply observing when you feel a sense of resistance or even pain in your body when you move a certain way.  Your energy body changes frequency from one end of the field to the other.  As a result, different emotions are stored at different places along this “column” in the body.  This is why some issues are stored in the root chakra than in the crown. The root chakra deals with nurture, abundance, and safety of self, for example.  When you feel a sense of resistance or even pain from tightness in a given area, you can gain a good bit of understanding about the block in general by thinking about where that block is located.  If its between two chakras, then it will contain aspects of BOTH chakras in some way.

If you can identify the spot where the hurt or twinge keeps happening, you can point it out to a therapists who can work on that spot for you.  The types of therapists who can do this work will be people who do both energy work and body manipulations such as deep tissue massage.  Acupressure, acupuncture, reiki, and deep tissue are all methods that can help.  In pranayama yoga there is a lot of attention given to moving certain parts of the body, something called “locks” that help to move blocked material.  All of these involve vigorous movement of the part of the body where the chakra is located and, presumably, the blocked material.  Even placing your attention on the spot and holding it there through the day is one way that you can help loosen up a block in your body.  If it gets enough aware energy, it can trigger the release of the block sometimes.

Chakra Clearing VS. Meridian Clearing

This is especially true for the chakras.  When a block is in a meridian line and not in a chakra, it seems to be harder to release it unless you are using acupressure or reiki, systems that actively move energy through the meridians of the energy body.  The chakras, conversely,  have a churning effect on blocks so that if you can use the chakras in meditation to swirl and move around a block, this can be very helpful because unlike clearig one small block in a meridian, a whole cluster of blocks can often be released all at once when its associated to chakra movement.  This is achieved by simply visualizing it and allowing the chakras to open fully and begin their movements, which often feel like you are moving or floating or even flying sometimes.  By placing your intent to clear the blocked material in a given chakra, the energy can begin to melt away the block.

Clearing along a meridian line is more exact and may only clear one block.  It can also lead to other blocks letting go, though, and these blocks can be worked through by acupuncture, acupressure, and deep tissue most often.  The larger blocks can be “swirled” away through vigorous chakra movement and can sweep away lots of blocks at once, leaving a person feeling as though they are a changed person.  Many people who have these types of clearings describe feeling as though their body was being purged by a wave or by a force that sent a whole series of bubbles or shots of energy up along their spine and out their body.  Fundamental to all of this work is intent (willingness) and willingness to surrender at a deep level even into the body.  By reaching this deep state of vulnerability, you will also be reaching a deep state of awareness somatically about your body and your own body of feeling, too. Trust me, when the moment comes, it will be like suddenly seeing things in a very different way, the way perhaps that things really are instead of the way you have chosen to see them through the colorings of the particular block that you have.  Be ready to see things in a very different way, or to feel them very differently.  And remember; this is nothing at all to do with reason.  This is NOT about working through your emotional backlog rationally.  To try to do so is a trap.  Yes, reason can keep you OUT of the thick hot stew of your feelings and can help you to calmly identify what needs to be released.  However, you need to actually jump in the water with no fear or resistance to what you will find since this is a necessary state of mind and heart that you will need in order to clear the block. If you turn away, you are effectively saying to your body that its okay to keep the block in place.

Some blocks go quickly.  Some take months, even years to dissolve.  A good rule of thumb is that if you have a strong investment in a given block, the harder it will be to rid yourself of it.  The more ego focuses on it, the harder it will be for the block to simply dissolve.

Part of prana is the energy body that expresses itself as a vortex, a kind of doughnut-shaped field of energy that is common to most anything that has an electromagnetic field around it.  It is this field that carries your consciousness and also the energy that feeds into your cells. When the energy is blocked, illness and neurosis can result. Life force is literally being squeezed out of you when it should be more abundant.

When you remove these blocks you can realize stronger energy, a more peaceful state of mind and greater bliss that is not at the whim of whatever blocks are turning in you at the time.

Until you are able to release a block, the block itself will be energized by prana in your body and it will remain active.  It can cause any number of problems, all of which will revolve around some kind of meme that is less than who you really are as a divine creature in earthly robes.  These blocks can cause no end of trouble for you.  There is little else work that is as important as this is.

There are numerous ways to clear away blocks in the body.  One method is through energy work like White Crane Chi Gung.  This method of blending movement with energy work will aid in the removal of blocks throughout the body.  In order for it to work, it requires patience and persistence.  By working at it for weeks and months at a time, you can begin to see results.  Deep tissue massage by a practitioner who knows or understands about blocks is helpful.  Also, body movement is key.  The very act of shaking or massaging or moving the part of the body that is blocked can aid in removing material from it.

Until you have cleared one chakra region, you will be dealing with what blocks remain in that region.  You will likely find that less obvious blocks come to the fore in your awareness now after having one bigger more obvious block removed.  Your attention can become much more highly tuned in this way to detect blocks in your system.  As this happens, you can also become much more sensitive to the presence in blocks in yourself and others if you are interested in learning a healing art.  I have dug so deep into myself that I have had some practitioners unable to detect the blocks.  One actually scolded me, saying I should not try to CREATE problems when there were were not problems there.  This practitioner was not able to pick up on this material, and I went on to have a number of clearings surrounding this region, so yes, there was more there, but not all of us will be as good about picking up on it.  While I have done the bulk of the clearing on my own, I have used a variety of methods to assist in clearing my system, and these have all worked well for me when they came along in my awakening journey (almost as if they were perfectly suited for the blocks kundalini was churning away on at the time!).  In many ways, I have been very gifted to have found a certain modality at a given time, as though the timing was perfect.  I was talking with my latest therapist about doing more work in the Fall recently as she expressed some surprise with the level of release I was experiencing with her work. I had to explain that while my being able to release blocks was different from her experience, it wasn’t from my experience.  For many people, it seems they get a deep tissue massage and maybe loosen up some material a bit.  For me, I am headed into the final stage of releasing material, a process that has taken years of steady daily attention and work, and I am having flashes of past lives, of deeply held traumas from my ancient past. It seems the deeper I go into it, the harder it is, the deeper the shadows.

So don’t be afraid of the shadow, I say.  That you get down into such shadows is cause for celebration.  Who on the planet has managed to get this deeply into themselves….to overcome the world?

This is why clearing blocks is so important; it is all about overcoming the world.  Would you like to see with new eyes?  With clear bodies, we can build a clear world.  And that is why I am writing to you today.  Pass it along!

~P.

Advertisements

Kundalini(from my phone while out in the wilds…..word may seem scrunched up….I just know it….)

Its a private quest but with others pulled and repelled by the force of karma undoing itself.  Beyond what you believe karma is in the world of punishment-rewards lies the truth of it…..and it is so beautiful it is enough to change the orbit of your life.  You aren’t made perfect in a flash….you are shown the way it can be.  I was shown this way and while I go about it in my human way, I am also finding it.  For almost eight years I have engaged in an intensive effort to unwind all of karma….negative karma….in my awareness.  It is a cleansing of the depths.  It is a Big Dig.

The activation of the living force in my body and  my awareness has come to me just as it has been coming to many the last two decades; spontaneously with little practice or effort to rouse it.  That is what we say.  On the one hand, this is true, but when you look at it a little more closely, its as if all of us are just monks in drag. Cosmic camo or something.  I know, I am being snarky.  But I think it is true.  I think that I was ardent a seeker as you could find all squeezed into a nine year old frame.

The truth, though, is that we have all been searching for it. A woman who says she never searched for it  confided to me that she had practiced Hatha Yoga, which is a powerful method for moving energy.  She had practiced for years.  And I, I had developed my own form of meditation, hadn’t I?  It was intuitively based and had to do with how to allow energy to flow in the body.  It had decades of observation behind it….observations made by a man wh9 had been able to read energy since e was 18 when the gift opened to him.  I thought of it as “active meditation” which meant that I had used similar practices in projecting consciousness, in expanding my energy field, in clearing it, and a number of different things.  I just though being very still was kind of…..silly.  Yes, I knew that it was in this stillness that I was supposed to find something.  I didn’t buy it.  I have since found that it is not in MY silence that I have found “it” but rather that I and the silence are part of the same thing.  This is quite different, you see, and is enough of a difference to leave a person seeking ardently and just not finding it.  But being silent?  Not thick enough!  This is a quality of self, of being.  It is falling in love.  It is. The universe comes along and takes you.  It is quite the experience.  It moves you beyond anything you have felt before.  Liquid passion, liquid light moves up inside of you.  If you are a man something inside of you has to soften itself into being feminine just to TAKE this.  And if you are a woman, something inside of you has to penetrate the DEPTHS of this…..in a way that is masculine.  Not ready?  Well, something in you obviously decided that it was. Sorry little ego.  Here we go!

(Now I get to use my computer after the day has turned to night….and I can stretch out some)

iceberg

And all of this, as hard as it can get, is a saving grace.  For as hard as it has been, I am thankful for it.  I have been hard at work.  Every single day is a new effort.  It is…..relentless.  There were times when I thought I might just lose it….and times when I could never lose it.  There and back again.

Deeper and deeper this has gone, layer by layer.  This, the Hindu call the koshas, the “layers” of the self or consciousness that include the energy of the body, the mind, the emotions, and the broader parts of the self. There are, I suspect, though, koshas that express the higher self.  Everything that we are will have its expression as one of these vessels.  And each will contain junk in it all expressing at a given vibration.  The thing to realize is that as material is cleared, it becomes easier to clear still more deeper material.  And for me?  Seems I have saved the hardest for last.

I go through my day in a constant meditation upon HOW I feel and I am finding that I continue to go deeper into my feeling self and realize that some things that I thought were my reactions to things were not based on anything real but were the result of something unresolved in me.  These things seem obvious at first, but its not obvious when the material has been shoved down so deep and hard.  My root work continues to surprise me.  It is like unpacking junk from an ancient trunk.   I go at it, often with weekly releases of energetic material, old traumas or hurts or issues.  As I dig down into it, I feel stuff I had just never felt before.  I just could not SEE it or KNOW it for what it was!

See, there is just so much that you CAN see and for so long….and you deal with it….you do….but some of it you may not know HOW to let it go….obviously it is by surrendering….no kidding, right?  But sometimes something in you just doesn’t know how to do that, the hurt maybe is too fresh or new, or any number of things.  It may in fact be really old, a repeat of a very old SOMETHING.  When I had an ex turn my children against me in the midst of a divorce, I saw just how mean spirited she was being, wittingly hurting not just me, but more importantly, my precious children.  How terrible is that?  To ruin an avenue for your children?  I had another ex seek to slander me based on outright lies….which was the same as my previous ex.  All of this was hard, really hard, and difficult to get past because of how FRESH is all was.  I simply was not used to people who loved me doing this to me.  For me, this was a first in my life.  Trying to destroy those you love?  Really? What flavor of madness is that?

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

But its the very nature of how reactive that this made me that made all of this hard to let go.  It seems that these things all have a kind of expiration date.  If we let them alone long enough, they wither on the vine.  They become easier to pluck out.  It also get easier to let the karma go, too.  But as I go deeper into this real dark place in the root, it is like I can feel all of this stuff related to survival, to nurture.  Some of the hard things from the death of a parent, the loss of bonding with one parent.  Hard stuff, I am sure, and its all being dug up.  WHat I have found is that there are some really hard feelings buried in there.  This is the archetypal hades.  This is the hardest place because it is so central to our creative selves.

Part of these releases, these healings, have involved the concept of the great womb.  This womb is about creativity.  We use it loosely simply because it is not about creating children.  It is about creating ANYTHING.  You can feel into that place that is in each person, every man and woman….it is not a literal womb.  And yet, in higher order energetics, it is indeed just that.  It is a womb of the higher self, of the soul.  It is the meeting place for all energies to collaborate and create.  It is.  And its health will determine what comes from it.  Clear it out and it is a clean slate.  This is why this work is so important.  To return not just a person to the “zero” point but to help the planet reach such a place.  It is an incredibly intimate personal journey as it is for me, and yet, we ALL have this shit in us.  All of us.  Even those of you who think you are pure as the driven snow. I can tell you that inside of you are things that you have simply never allowed yourself to see.  Look back at our history as a species.  DO you see all of that horrid stuff we have done to each other over all those centuries?  Well, you were a part of that in some way somewhere somehow. We all die at the hands of another. We die of disease, we are manipulated, we are lost, we are forgotten. We are also remembered, cherished and loved.  To know ALL of this.  When we are able to integrate ALL of this, we can make the peace with it that we seem to need in order to move on from this level to another.  This is important work for all of us, and the wave doing this now will help each other by those who dig deep and also they will help those who have yet to wake up. It will literally create a different template for those who come later into this love, this field that is bristling with energy and promise.  It is in everything.  You have to open up to it.  It is endless.  We are truly infinite.  Even atoms are like this.  It boggles the mind.

We are made for this.  And it is worth the work.

After years of being out of touch with those who were a part of my earlier awakening, with the one whom I thought of as my twin, I have been able to go back and speak openly and frankly about a host of things.  I have been able to do what I did not feel I could do that I very much needed to do, which was to bring some sense of closure,  and to help bring some depth of understanding to why everything went down as it did.  I simply disappeared quickly as my own awakening shifted into a new gear.  Being able to explain myself….and also to face what I was once fearful of but am no longer fearful of.  Your perspective can change 180 degrees in a relatively short period of time.  So much can change.  Running from it isn’t the answer, though.  It is this interesting dance.  We can’t get bogged down by it, but neither can we run from it.  This other person has this mirror effect, which strengthens things in a way that is not always beneficial.  What we mirror we also reinforce, you see.  And this can make a small thing into a big thing.  A tar pit of the soul.  But there comes a time when the draw of the tar pit just no longer does it and you can speak about things in a way that actually leads to more and more releases….realizations that something you were holding onto was simply not necessary.  A block in your that was the same in them, now cleared, now simply no longer offers up the draw.  And this is so hard for people in it to realize…..that the draw is so often the blocks holding energy in a tight position in the self.  I call it how energy flows in a tight hose.  When you can open the hose or channel, the water (Qi) flows with less turbulence and chaos.  This is what we all look forward to.  Being universal channels for this light field.  Growing up and doing exactly what Jesus did; overcoming the world.  Clearing the karma.  Becoming free.

So deeper and deeper I go.  Deeper into a meditative state.  I now do it while listening to music, I do it while walking down the street.  What required a moment of quiet is more like a tool I use in the moment when I need to.  It is not so much about meditating now as much as it is a realization of how some things can move me out of my zone where I am calm, able to plumb that depth.  As I do this, I find there is more to do, more to feel into, to look at that I may have not seen in quite the way I just did a moment ago, which was the whole reason why this things was lodged in me for so long.  I had missidentified it, shoved it down and not sen it for what it was.  And it distorted my ability to see so many things in others.  I saw threats that weren’t there or I reacted beyond what one would normally do.  Until this stuff is dealt with, it remains an issue.  So down I go.  Digging in the dirt.  And you know what?  Its worth every minute.  It is why I came here.  It is job 1.

There are methods for dealing with this energy and it is about movement, but I have found that for the deep stuff, some movement with being able to feel deeply into the centers is important because feeling that deep means that you understand what was not understood for so long.  So much of this can be STUFFED emotion….ancient stuff…..and when you let it go, the really cool things is that this releases all your other lifetimes…..because until this material is dealt with, it is simply reflecting and mirroring in all your past lives.  It is free to be something different.  Wait.  And yes, I also mean the past.  How is that possible?  I don’t know, but I have already experienced it.  I have actually gone into my past and changed it.  The presence that is here with me today that I call kundalini is itself a form of my future self looping back as a way to improve its own “present” focus in a kind of future.  Thing is, there IS no time…..we live in a hologram that is ALL TIME.  As consciousness expands, you will see just what I mean.  So this future self has so much to offer…..and as I improve, it changes its own self or being.

It is quite the experience…..and I hope that in time everyone will experience this as a kind of right of passage and that those doing this now will have made the path so much easier….something that I laughingly called a “puberty for adults” to a friend who asked about it about a year ago.  It was the best way I could explain it.  And yes, it is a new world with so many responsibilities tied up with it….

The journey continues…

 

This was what I wanted to drive home in my last post….which was that now as I get down to the root chakra and heal it more intensively, something has emerged for me about it and how important the root is.  It’s a foundation….I was not able to really see how much of a rock it is in our lives.  I have realized how important it is to build a good foundation with it. Now what that foundation looks like for you I can’t say. What fulfills you and bring you wonder and a good life perhaps. It is different for all of us because we are all different.  For me, I know that very recently with the healing and movement of old blocks from my root and sacral that it has allowed me to have a clearer view into that part of my energy body.  Knots tend to obscure some. I knew but did not know.

At a certain point all energy flows into a vast current of energy.  All energy from the planet, from each organism, from all life both physical and non flows into a vast surging and churning sea.  It goes from small to big to gigantic.  You can’t believe how huge it gets.  You realize that all of this is this hum of energy….we want to divide things out and say this is sexual energy and this is not and this is third eye chakra energy and….and really, it’s so much like clay.  You can knead it into any form you want and we fool ourselves with thinking that any part of it is any different from any other part or vibration.  It is all clay.  Some make teapots out of it, others make white rabbits.  It’s all CLAY.  You see?  I focused on my root being so powerfully sexually that I lost sight of its many other facets.  I had shoved down so much hurt into my lower regions that it lodged there like most people do and was turned into energetic fossils, forming stony motes in my soft energy body that hurt once kundalini turned on.  Ouch!

I think that I thought I would somehow lose something if I lost the sexual energy, so I kept it in a place where it was less than healed.  It was the last thing I was able to let go of.  It was perhaps the one thing that gave me joy and bliss but that also was forbidden and was turned raw by the built up or latent pain from the past, the shame and hurt.  What is so interesting, though, is just how much more dimensional the root has begun to appear to me.  It is so much more than just sexual or survival.  It is a certain earthy charisma, it is a vibrance that feels really good to be around. It is also the essence of abundance.  It is magnetic and if you just let it flow, this force can be felt in your body in amazing ways.  Breaking free from the old strictures is wonderful.  For me, for some reason, this step was not a sudden dropping away of the veils as has happened in the other releases of old karmic material or energy knots in my light body.  This one seems to need to be forged anew.  It seems to need or something in me knows this basic part of me had gotten misshapen over time.  But it is alright; it is all clay, right?  So day by day I keep working at it, trying to not repeat the mistakes of the past and learn from all of this that has come before me.  The idea that in changing we will lose something is itself incorrect.  It happened to me with this misnomer called “ego death” which wasn’t a death at all, and it has happened with releasing old blocks.  Something in me thought I would no longer be me even though it also knew that no, that is not what is happening in letting go….I am revealing a deeper self, my authentic self perhaps for the first time and THAT self absolutely shimmers with all sorts of energy.  It just gushes with energy all the time.

(Its wonderful)

Spiritual broad life force….sensuality, sexuality, mental energy, and more all bend out of, split from and move back into this giant current.  It can be pitched to become sensual, pitched to be sexual.  It is we who do this.  It is itself the entirety of all things…..somehow I know this is so.

I don’t expect it to be perfect, but I do expect to feel perfectly about it.

There was a time when I lived for others and told myself I was selfless. Then I realized I was living for their approval and realized that I did not love myself half as much as I needed and they did not love me half as much as they could have.  I let that go and have been reorienting myself ever since. This need to be a victim has got to go!  Being around this energy breeds more of it and its a terribly disempowering attitude. Where did I go wrong, I wonder?  I had some splinter of a thing left in me that had to be worked through I guess.  I should be thankful for those who have helped to point out the problems that remained in me as a result of what I have attracted.

I think that unless you are able to take responsibility for what you have created in your life, you wont ever really get to a place where you are a conscious co-creator.  As long as you shirk your responsibility for your own experience means you can’t touch fully how the energy drives through you from an atomic to cosmic level. For those who cannot, they are too busy handing their power over to someone else for one reason or another.  Then it becomes everyone elses fault for just about everything.

Pound pound pound, I forge the dross from this iron will.  What shall I create?  Something marvelous!

I have described these as “epiphanies” that I often have where I am most often shown something, or am taught something compliments of the intelligent energy that is moving through me.  I have embraced my creative imagination realizing the linkage it has with helping me to see and know things that are not physical but that are in the etheric or spiritual realm….the world of energy. Here the third eye sees this world.  I embrace the fact that I must allow myself to imagine.  Once that center opens inside of me, then the inner core of my sensory realm opens like a flower bud and everything becomes flow.  Bliss fills me, I feel expectant, like a man awaiting his beloved who will be along just about any time now….and then it is there.  The epiphany begins.  It could be just about anything, but it seems that I am being taught about hidden things, or secret knowledge.  What is kind of silly about saying that is that its no longer secret the moment its conveyed….so was it really secret at all? I’m having a good laugh at myself.

But the epiphanies are real.  They have helped to show me the nature or the energy body in great detail.  I have been shown the linkage between large scaled events and those on the atomic level and how these are linked and how we can learn to harness this force in our bodies to gain a degree of control or influence on events in our lives…..its not different from what we do normally as we create our own realities, its just that when you learn how to channel energy a little differently through your awareness and your brain/body, which kundalini CAN assist you with and meditational practices that are designed for helping support such shifts (and I don’t know about meditation modalities so I can’t tell you if there is one out there that exists…..if not I will make you one for you to use so you can know what I am talking about!).  I have been counseled, admonished, healed, and tutored during these epiphany moments.

The last week has been a rough one for me.  I have jumped headlong into a healing method that has helped me a great deal but has also shaken up a lot of dust in my life emotionally.  IN the last six years of my awakening I have gone from awakening and awareness of my pain body to beginning to actively assist in the removal of old emotional blocks in my energy body.  Kundalini has helped hugely and it has also helped to raise awareness of how deep this pain goes (even though sometimes a little knowledge or awareness is a difficult thing!).  But it has also helped me to clean things up and I am glad to say what looked in the beginning to be an impossible hulk of junk in my light body is now being pared down.  Day by day, week by week, blocks of every size and shape have fallen away.  WHat made me feel defeated in the beginning is now getting easier, a kind of sacred work…..excavating the bones of past lives and scattering them to the winds and blessing them, letting that chapter go so a new one may be writ. I am not bragging. I am speaking into this and saying that for anyone who feels stuck, there is a way forward.  Sometimes we try too hard.  Most often, it is in learning that the way is easy.  Jesus said “My yoke is easy.” His yoga was easy.  His means to bliss was not a difficult thing. And so it is or can be for anyone.  It was hard for me when I thought it was hard.  When I consider it is easy, it becomes easy.  I have this past week gone to a reiki club for some work.  As I have detailed in recent posts, I have been having root issues that have dogged me the whole time I have been going through this awakening.  It goes to show that when the books say that kundalini clears you from root to crown, I can say emphatically that kundalini follows the path of least resistance and does not go according to any pattern from one chakra to the next.  The tendency may be to do that, yes, but in truth, if something is stuck it remains that way until your ego lets go of it. NO one can undo what the ego creates as a reality for itself.  This week I went in for a second treatment and I wound up with the whole room of therapists working on me.  It was very illuminating for a variety of reasons.  I was asked if I had been psychically attacked, for example, and I realized later that in a way I had, and that a pain that I have felt in one of my meridians was part of this.  The attack though came from a living person and how the wound presented itself in terms of where and how it felt was consistent with the issues that were at work.  Being able to develop a stronger sense of psychic protection is important, yes, but by grace and being what we want to attract, we can transmute the old into something more conscious and aware.  This time I found that I reached a very subtle but important realization.

It had to do with the root and also the sacral. I began to have these images projected into my head that didn’t make sense right away but soon did.  I saw an image of iron and how it is forged.  I wondered over that until the information cam in a steady stream.  It began as I awoke this morning.  The epiphany began then.

As I awoke in bed this morning I felt the presence of a concept floating all around me.  It was an image of identity.  We make ourselves into who we want to be in our lives.  While our personalities define a lot of how we become, we also have a great deal more control over what we become than we realize.  Deep down, we know who we want to become.  We also know we are not being true to to who we want to be because….well….we feel it so strongly.  And yet we will ignore it….most often at our peril. But from life to life, even though we are part of a larger soul, it is amazing to see just how different we are from one life to the next.  Some lives are similar but having known a person who died and was reincarnated all in the same life I am living, I can say that people really do change a great deal.  The person that was my father is a very different person in his new reincarnation.  Some issues are still very much the same.  It is oddly fascinating to see how he struggles with the same issue of being brainwashed by a mother played by two different women but who do the same things to him.  This, he has attracted. This, he is working through as part of his karmic journey.  But in this image is showed me how we can shape ourselves in different ways if we but have the will to do so.  Destiny is not what we are born with, it is what we are.  If we change what we are, we can change destiny.  And it is not as hard as it might seem. It takes work I think, but it is entirely doable.  Destiny is the sum total of your choices made up to this point. This hardens into your character and is also part of your personality.  Maybe you think I am talking about changing habits here.  I am not.  the way to change is through the root.  It takes work and incredible persistence. I have reached this place realizing that I am down to the last of the hard stuff.  What shall I do now? Where will I go from here?

The Voice began by explaining that the problem I have had with my root had to do with my thinking I had a problem.  There were some lingering issues having to do with personal power, of taking full responsibility for my life and also for a fear that I allowed into my field that kind of became a kind of dog of my soul.  I had actually seen a glimpse of this presence that was attracted to these less than admirable feelings and it helped me to realize what it was that was serving to reinforce the energy that was there.  It was akin to a dragon in form….it was itself an etheric being attracted like moths are to flame or a porch light.  It is a natural consequence of where we are.  While ridding ourselves of shadow, we attract these beings who are etheric and escape most people’s notice.  I have known people who have awakened and were entirely powerless to rid themselves of these beings simply because they were not ready to heal that part of themselves.  You can push these creatures off and out of your field, but the problem will very likely come back unless the underlying issue is resolved and you change the energy.  People talk about psychic defense and I have to laugh because while pushing things away they just have them come back because nothing substantive has changed. The light body is your vehicle.  You attracted based on what you put out.  Every time all the time. These beings are not big problems most often.  They are just along for the ride.  They are easy to get rid of.  Most people have multiples of them.  So by shifting the perception of the problem, I was able to see all of this differently.  I already do.  With it comes a sense of restlessness, of wanting to move forward now after a period of near-stasis in a cocoon healing and transforming rapidly.

Then someone stepped into my field as matter-of-factly as a doctor asks you to turn your head and cough.  My root, which had been hurting, was held in the hands by this presence who was now talking to me about all of this.  “You think about how in the root there is sexual energy…..but you also think about how this energy is universal energy….but you have not been able to feel it as that because of the issues in your root.  This has blinded you to the larger role that your root plays for your life.  Right now it has tended to play a very limited role because you have seen it as sexual energy and because of the pain stored there, it has been hard to see it beyond the bliss side of its experience.”  The voice stopped and I then felt a very different feeling in my root. “The root, your root, is like a magnet.”  I felt this force radiate around the root….and it did feel very magnetic. “Imagine all the ways that your root chakra has felt up until this time.  The pain that you have felt in the root that has caused so much trouble for you…..all of that when healed will result in your being able to realize that the root really is a powerful basis for all of your energy.  It is how you forge your will, how you choose to feel and to be.”  The root was beaming and I could feel these bands of force coming off of it.  “Imagine what you could do with this…..once free from what you feel is holding you down.”  Instead of being strongly sexual in nature, it became a number of different things.  I felt like somehow someone was stepping in and showing me how differently this center could feel.  I was also being shown a tutorial on how the root can be used to assist in manifesting. I began in those moments seize the day and begin by focusing my intent in ways I knew I needed most.

“This is where the work comes in, but nby now after everything that you have done, you are ready to do this work.  This is like forging iron.  You will do it gently and carefully piece by piece until you get the results in character that you feel suit you.”  I saw how the root was the foundation of so much.  In an interesting way, the root is tied into identity and to our will.  I had always felt my will as being centered in my solar plexus, but now I realize identity is scattered throughout every center but the foundation lies in the root. Maybe it is possible to make sudden jumps in healing and change.  I have certainly witnessed them in myself over these years, but this last step now feels like I am taking a piece of clay and spending time to shape it.  Its hard to explain it any other way.  I have conformed to others for the sake of love for acceptance.  Now, I am not interested in that and while some part of me may linger on that last note, I am taking up the iron and the anvil to shape in the fire a new form.  Made of the same metal, but made into a new sense of self in some ways. And perhaps for the first time, a center of energy that is now no longer hung up by the old hurts and blocks that have limited the expression of the divine infinite in my body.

All of this is helping to return old feelings that were of an energetic nature.  My core self is undergoing a change.  I will remain who I am but there is some stuff that is being changed.  I have no idea how it will turn out.  We will just see.  Like a painting with few plans, it will unfold in perfect timing.  And if this be a conceit of the ego, then so be it.  A lovely conceit it will be. But if not, then there will be something of heaven in it. This is leading somewhere….

Having a healthy root is important for being able to have an energy center that can help us feel healthy and to manifest what it is that we need without the glitches that come as a result of karmic entanglements.  This idea that you must be careful what you wish for goes away when you clear karma. Karma is the color in the chakra that changes how the energy expresses itself. We return to clear brilliant spring water……

%d bloggers like this: