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If you have had an experience with awakening and are willing to share, I would like to interview you.  The interviews will be included on this blog.

To include your information and to get the questions, contact me at: info@staffordartglass.com

Interviews intended to help us all understand awakenings from a western perspective.

 

Regards,

Parker

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They have been spoken of down through time, a dual force in awareness that has emerged with many names and have all been tied to awakening, to the manifold process that is enlightenment.

These twins, as I call them,  were written about in early Christian documents. Recent discoveries have unearthed their known and truer nature as part of the trinity (I know the trinity is not two, but the “two” birth the “third” which is Christ Consciousness—more on that later…).

In the Eastern traditions of the Taoists, the Yin and Yang were expressions, understandings, of the vital role these forces played (and not merely as an observation of how our world just has bright and dark, or opposites only).  The Shakti and Shiva were expressions of this understanding, and the kundalini, as expressed as a serpent twining about a central axis, was an expression of the two-in-one force that gave rise to a third awareness that moved along the central axis (the spine where the shushumna channel lies energetically and is the center for cosmic awareness).  This awareness has been in many cultures such as the Polynesians who knew that out of the One life force came two complimentary forces that when joined formed the One again, which is a truly transcendent awareness and state of being.

The experience of this union is so powerful, so incredibly blissful, that it has been likened to sexual union for the fact that the experience created an intense bliss that felt orgasmic.  This was not itself physical orgasm, but is instead the result of the chemical soup in the body which has been instantly changed by the presence of the energy now within awareness.  The body is an amazing servant, a mirror to the soul, and what the soul feels that can be brought into full conscious awareness, the body will share in and will respond to through chemical production of endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin and also even adrenaline.  These compounds, some which are used as neurotransmitters in the brain (yes, can you even imagine?) have a profound effect on how we feel, how we recognize that we feel. And so it is that when one feels this bliss, it is like being bathed by a quiet pulse of orgasmic energy all throughout every part of your being.  it is the presence of this energy and this bliss that begins to purify and cleanse you of a world of hurt, wrongdoing and wrong thinking and feeling in your life, past and present. It is HERE in THIS that we experience the true power of what enlightenment is.

Within each of us, these forces exist all the way down to the atoms that compose our bodies.  One can see and interact with this vital force in this way when your awareness is honed and focused.  The Hindu Vedas describe just such a sensory experience of seeing down into the microscopic level to feel and commune with this energy that is expressed in everything.  Some say, rightly so, I think, that these Twins exist as creators of reality, or supporters of it.  Through them come the birth of all phenomena.  All of it. They are entirely ubiquitous, and awareness of their presence can be seen throughout all writings, especially in the east.

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These two forces are likened to a feminine and masculine force.  Complimentary, they merge one into the other upon awakening in such a way that vast sums of energy are created in the body and awareness.  This production of energy brings healing, however difficult for some at first (due to shame surrounding anything that might feel…..gasp….sexual), in a way that is likened to a lightening bolt experience at first (kundalini) and then as a deep stirring effect that stirs out of the subconscious those things which have made us each sick, neurotic, or holding to old traumas.  We enter into a new life through these and the early Christians describe these people who have encountered the flash of white light as being androgenous people of a sort.  They were called this by the so-called Gnostics as Syzgy.  This term was used to describe people who had an encounter with the brilliant white light that marked the beginning of awakening (aka kundalini and divine union experiences).

The result of this encounter was that the two currents of energy which are akin to the two energies surrounding stars and planets ( a torus of negative and positive particles creating a spheroid or torus shaped field of energy–the same torus that surrounds physical bodies as well).  The awareness of this energy, now heightened in awakening, reveals to each of those so awakened to two forces alive in the body.  This brought awareness of both energies, and this leads to the “androgynous” sense of both forces alive in the body of awareness and matter.

This Syzgy was not itself something that changes ones own native sexual orientation, no, but shows every sign of broadening ones awareness of both while it also erases any compunction with feeling so intimately the energy that represents the opposite from your own sexual orientation.

So yes, the early Christians were describing this incredibly blissful experience which they likened to a sexual experience of being in a Bridal Chamber, a union of the soul with its two parts. It is the beginning of all forms of union in life, top to bottom.  It is the very genesis of what divine union is and without it, the idea would not exist, for it rests within this foundation and is fed and nurtured by it.  Simply put, it is an erasure of all elements within the self that serve to limit and to divide you against others….be they people, or experiences.

Link that describes this term in more detail: http://www.gnosis.org/library/valentinus/Syzygy_Valentinian.htm

To help to explain this state of inner union, the Gospel of Thomas says it very clearly by letting Jesus speak for himself to a woman named Salome (not the princess Salome who demanded the head of John the Baptist, but was rather much more like a disciple).

In the Gospel of Thomas ( Saying 61b) Salome says to Jesus that he had come up on her couch (presumably referring to reclining at meals) and eaten from her table. “Who are you, man,” she asks. Jesus replies, “I am he who exists from the undivided.” He goes on to say that someone who is divided will be filled with darkness, but someone [presumably “undivided”: translators point out that there is a gap in the text] will be filled with light. This is one of the notable sayings on the theme of Oneness.

Source: www.gnosis.org/thomasbook/ch24

In numerous places throughout these gnostic gospels, you have Jesus saying over and over how when one removes the division, within that the kingdom comes, that one is “resurrected” that the flesh “rises” or awakens into what seems to be like the difference of being dead and then coming into life.  I observed early in my awakening that what had sparked my awakening was the removal or healing of a long-standing issue that I had which had kept me divided.  When I removed that, awakening began. it is an account that I describe in the book I am working on that involved a discussion with an Oglala Lakota medicine man named Sydney Has No Horses.

It is important to remember that these things are themselves mysteries that cannot be fully explained in a literal linear mode, and are instead  expressed or conveyed through more poetic and less “exact” language.  To know what they are saying, it helps to already be awakened…..which does not help those who seek, but merely points in the general direction. This is not a factual conceptual framework being created, but is instead a description of a state of being.  And how can we really explain such a thing? Most often, poetry does it better than more materialistic means.  That means not being literal. Sadly, the early Christian church was gripped by a wave of literalism that was called orthodoxy, and a whole host of teachings within the church were cast aside, deemed heretical, or were simply not understood for what they were. If you read the Nag Hammadi texts such as Thomas and Philip and Mary, you see that the language used is…..more like poetry and is inexact.  It is this way for a purpose.  It is less that this was a different church, but that it was a different depth of understanding that had taken place.

My experience in this nonduality, of these twin energies, is that they open your awareness to the entirety, potentially at least, of the universe and everything within it. A boast?  In nearly every reference to this experience there is much talk about “secret knowledge” when one awakens.  This is what is being pointed to, which is a new or renewed ability or awareness within consciousness to join to everything.  This, not coincidentally, is the very essence of what nonduality is all about.  It means “no other” and it means, literally, that one may feel what another feels, to know it so intimately that there is no distinction at a deeper level of the experience between the observer and the observed. It is why I can feel what another feels over vast distances.  We are not divided by space or even time.

This also opens one up to an understanding of all others, including the opposite within you, which for many, is not just the dark or the light, but the feminine and the masculine. Whether these twins are literal male and female counterparts is not the point, but their complimentary forces can open the doorway to understanding all others. It means that as a male you can feel deeply the experience of the feminine, and as a woman you can commune with and feel deeply the experience of the masculine both within yourself and through the beloved, be they male or female. For anyone thinking that this becomes a non-homosexual experience, think again. There is nothing about these two that in any way limits or biases against same sex experience.  The joining of these two twins is simply the result of incredible vastness, a “waking the infinite” within each of us. One enters into the mysteries of this type of awareness and knowing, and part of it also is that one can relate to others in ways you have never been able to do.

It is not surprising to me that the kundalini is called “shakti” in the Hindu tradition.  The reason for this is because up until awakening is sparked, there is only one primary current in awareness, which for us is the yang energy.  I know you wont always agree with me, but the whole of humankind has for many thousands of years been focused primarily in the left-brained mind which is also considered to be the yang energy. I write a lot about this and how it ties into brain function and cognition, so if you want more on this simply search using left or right brain in the search function on the site and you should find a good deal of writing on this topic as it relates to current brain science.  I also say this as a very right-brained artist, and I can tell you that in a relative way, we do not know just how we have limited our right brained functions and the function of the “feminine” or yin sides of our energy and our consciousness. As a result, the discovery one find, whether you are male OR female, awaits you as a great discovery about the greater depth available to your sexual and spiritual self!  A man is greatly informed by what it is like to be a woman and a woman is greatly informed about a level of feminine experience that she may have never known (the same is true for men in the reverse, of course) as a result of these energies now fully awakened and interacting in this “new” way within consciousness and in the body.

When kundalini comes, it isn’t that a yin presence comes as the substance of the energy, but that in your awareness you become aware that you are now both.  It is in this awareness that the two forces are joined or unified in your consciousness and this is where the electric lightening bolt realization takes place that is so often a common experience in awakening (you do not need to have a lightening bolt experience, and it is better that you do not do so if you can help it since it makes for a more peaceful progression with the energy).  Less that shakti comes AS the kundalini, but more that she has simply been missing in our awareness.  As a result, when most awaken, you can begin to feel a fluidity and sensuality that is conferred as a result of the two now in union and it is this added compliment, the feminine force of yin, that now makes for an incredible chemical reaction in the body…which is not just chemical, but energetic from top to bottom. You can see how this is through simple observation in how your thoughts change and how more feminine you can become.  The feminine force of yin gives a great deal of receptivity, fluidity, and less of a literal approach to understanding and cognition (and this is not limited to men or women only!)

The advantages of this new arrangement are incredibly unifying and healing for the self.  These twins birth a third energy as a result of their union, something that I described in the first few months of my awakening as the union of the man and woman who birth the cosmic child.  At the time that I was writing this, I had no idea what had happened to me.  I didn’t know yet that this experience had a name.  I knew about kundalini years before this, but when it happened to me it was such a novel and different experience that any description of it went entirely over my head….at least at first.  But the description that I made based on my early meditations and communion within the energy, was no different from what I would find scattered throughout all cultures of the two who birth the third.

If you are of the Christian persuasion, you might find yourself upset over the idea of the trinity being treated in such a way, but I caution you that it is quite clear that the trinity and its deeper reality was hidden or obscured by the rising tide of orthodoxy that gripped the early church and it cuased, I observe, a kind of dumbing down of what the trinity was originally to Jesus and his followers.  When we look at the documents that had lain in the desert for so long and which had not been subject to the biasing effects of the orthodoxy church, you can find the trinity as a resounding bulwark of the masculine and feminine in one deity and that the Christ was born from them both.  This was why Philip said in his gospel, “Those who say that Mary begat with the Holy Ghost are in error.  They do not know what they say.  For when has a woman begotten with a woman?”

This quote reveals quite clearly that the Holy Ghost was the feminine aspect of the deity, and that it made no sense for the story of Jesus’s conception to have been described in this way.  For Philip, who was described as heir to the deeper teachings of Jesus (even within the orthodox church), he would have understood the subtle differences involved. It is in his and other books that he describes the union of these two forces as a Bridal Chamber.  It was out of this chamber that Christ emerged.  Many scholars are trying to make this Bridal Chamber experience into a ritual that the early Christians engaged in, but this is not so (they are in error).  Instead, it is an experience that one has that is initiatory, but instantaneous when one removes what divides you.  Less a rite, it is mystic experience that we each have.  As a result, this also meant that everyone one of us can experience this, that this was what Jesus had also taught to his students, his disciples.  Not all of them got it, or understood what was being said, however. It may be possible that gospels were favored over others that did not include these sayings, so that the orthodox church only had those which it favored (lacking the feminine aspect of the deeper mysteries of spiritual attainment).

This is one reason why I have long felt that Christianity was missing something terribly important, and that the early church had hidden something.  At age nine, when I felt this sense for the first time, I had no way of knowing what this thing was, I merely knew deep in my bones that this was so.  It was, I would later find, something that my soul knew without question, but that my inexperienced 9 year old mind had no way of knowing why it knew.  It is by joining this missing part that you can know the kingdom.  Right now. Right here.  And while the dried and limited orthodox minds will reject it, it is rather that orthodoxy is showing itself to be the real heresy and the heresies of the past, so much more closer to the truth.

There is nothing as life-changing as this awareness of the twin within.

नमस्ते

P.

 

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You might think that my words on the sacred two are about tantra and are thus sexual in nature.  I have had friends make comments about my poetry and writing as being about sex.  But that would be  a mistake.

Most often, when I write about the “two” I am actually writing about the twin forces contained within awakening.  This was what Jesus spoke about when he said “I am one with the father and the mother.”  Problem is, mainstream Christian dogma wrote the “mother” part out so that the religious experience became an all-male club.  The Hindu, though, along with the Taosists, recorded it rightly: kundalini, or life force, the Tao, is known as twin forces that move through the body and awareness as a potentiating force of both healing and radical change.  To show how powerful this force is, it is possible to do more healing work in ten minutes with this force alive in your than in ten years of standard talk therapy.  Part of the energy is said to be sexual.  And here is what is so important, right along with the twin-thing; the force of awakening is like a carefully controlled stream of water being so carefully tended, is allowed to overflow its tight bounds and allows for other water and other new bounds to enter in.  The flow grows, the flow breaks down old barriers.  It is sexual, yes, but it is creative, it is mental, it is physical, it is emotional, it is ego, it is intellect, it is all that we ARE. By allowing our energy to flow as one varied current, we can actually catch a glimpse of what we can be if we become less compartmentalized and controlled.  We return to a primordial state which I describe as a return to the Garden.  This is us, you see….

All that we ARE.  So my poetry?  It is about THIS. And yes, it is cast in the form of pure adoration.  This is significant and important because the “two” are not themselves really separate.  They are in truth ONE, when you experience them within your awareness, but they pull apart to form what seems to be two in the etheric body structure of the Ida and Pengala channels, and in so doing, they become a powerful creative force.  This force exists in every single person on the planet.  So when this force is liberated deep within ourselves, the twin force of kundalini releases, it is said, the Shakti and Shiva currents through the body.

Like a plug into the cosmic, we plug into the universe with a blast up the spine. Never are we ever the same after this.  And I make them adore one another like lovers because of HOW closely they work with each other in the body when you become aware of them. You cannot have one without the other.  I found that I could allow the “two” to grow in strength by allowing them to come closer and closer to one another through nothing except my own focus and awareness on my own process of energetic flow through my body and upward through the chakras and my spine.  Out of these two, there is birthed an even finer form of energy that is the core of the Christ, or Cosmic Consciousness.  Awakening is akin to conception, what the early Christians mention as “begetting” as a spiritual practice (the only remnants we have of this teaching are extant in the gnostic writings of the Nag Hammadi).  For the bulk of Christianity, the subtlety of what Jesus had to say was largely lost where his core apex teachings were concerned.  He was a man who spoke in pictures and parables to people who were drop-dead literal in their understanding and approach.  But you think I feel the Christ?  I feel what HE felt in his life and what he sought to get his followers to know.  This is also the same force that all yogis and pilgrims have felt down through time.  This is a HUMAN experience, you see, not religious or dogmatic.

I pay homage to these things.  I pray, I look, I long, I breath, and I find healing through them.  Always always, as they turn turn around the other.  And yes, I am here to state emphatically that you cannot have God the Father without Goddess The Mother.  Anything less is ignoring the truth that will one day stare straight at you like looking down the barrel of a cosmic gun ready to shoot you through and through with truth, murdering your lies and your false belief.  We all hold lies in ourselves, and most of us do not know they are lies.

Strong words, I know.  But I am through pussy-footing around.

Time to bring back the Her to the Him.  And that is what I am doing.  My words. they are about the She as much as the He.  they are at once religious in feeling but shunning dogma and false belief.  They are also fanciful, playful, fun, and passionate.  Just like every good love story should be.  So there you go.  Sexual energy, along with the REST of your energy is healing.  Subsume or hide your sexual energy out of some feeling of shame or guilt and you lose a strand of your own healing.  And what does that get you?  More repression and sickness.

So why did we strip the man-god from his woman?  Why do you think we did that? I mean, really, what do you think was beneath all of that? Fear? Short-sightedness?  There may be many reasons, but in a moment we can change all of that by choosing differently.

The Goddess joins with her God right here inside of me.  It informs me, heals, and innervates.  It is for me the way Home.  And what is this?  It is merely a joining of all the opposite ends of things in the universe using a glorious and beautiful form of cosmic short-hand.  ALL opposites are thus strung along the invisible string of the Creator….IN OUR AWARENESS.  And that is the core of all religious feeling.  So back to the poetry….

how-to-awaken-the-divine-feminine-within-you-twin-flame-twin-flame-confusion-twin-flame-relationships-twin-flame-reunion-twin-flame-separation-twin-flame-stages-twin-flames-twin

It is coming strong now

the pulse of the One

spreads through the many

an undeniable

inevitability….

which sends ripples

glimmers of itself

we turn and find

everything has changed.

I walked over to my neighbor

I shared videos of Terrence

after he spoke of Ayahuasca

and sacred dreams…

and learned

in total serendipity

that he had lived his whole life

awakened

living next to me

silent, alone,

monkish

much like me

until we sat in waning light

for hours

speaking about the cosmic

and the One

and how it speaks to us

and how we speak with it

this great mystery

that surrounds us all…

If we were small enough

would our air seem this thin if it was blood

and we were subatomic?

Are we living in the body of something amazingly huge?

Is it better to know

or to just ask the question?

Questions are where it is at

this much is true

and known

even though the dead dry husks

of knowledge unfold themselves

perfunctory….

it seems the buzz is in finding

the next new petal.

I suppose that is what makes us the same; always on to the next new thing

cosmic impatience

seekers are like this

and we think its all just fine

as the sky spins stars into view and out

again

we meet like this

in different times

and places

we both know this is so…

but how do you say what is obvious

and make it seem to be anything more than out of step with

space and time?

He is moving

I am moving away from this place

and this sudden realization comes

in the waning night

the billiards caroming off one another

as we wonder about what comes next in the world

of awakenings.

Anything we want, everything we hope for.

It all comes like this

where every one I am around is of the same

sometimes secretly

for that moment when

the great reveal comes

so I can sink my teeth into the awe and wonder

that this world offers

and that I love so.

“Anything is possible.”

visions

I am going to go for the money shot and use words like “Earth Shattering” and “Implications” because I think its time to grab some attention.  It is time to grab your attention because there is something huge going on in the realm of hyperspatial realization…..otherwise known as nonduality.

In the same way that L.S.D. was a revolutionary drug during the 1960’s that helped people to see, feel, and look at the world differently, so too is nonduality every bit as revolutionary.  Actually, its more so because there is a chemistry in your physical body that is created that continues or drives your ability to continue to have these experiences of nonduality, its what Jana Dixon wrote about in her incredibly important book called The Physiology of Kundalini. Its her own observations about the chemistry of the experience, and there is a lot there. As you might know already, there is a dearth of research on the issue of kundalini, so a lot of what is related is based on observation and not peer review or having hundreds of subjects on board for testing (as this is still a somewhat rare experience that is slowly becoming less-rare there is a lag in information on the subject outside of the Vedas and Eastern traditions)

Nonduality is a mind-bending kind of experience because it has the power to remake your psyche.  It really is just that powerful of an experience.  You might wonder why on earth would your psyche need to be re-formed, and to that I will say that the very process of thought needs to change in some fundamental ways if the energetic flow o the source code material is to move through you.  You cannot send a signal of any kind unless the device is properly prepared.  The body and the nervous system and brain all must go through a reformation process if any of this is going to be successful, and this is hard for people who are strong in the ego department (which means most of us as westerners).  Trust me, for those of you who think you don’t have strong egos, ego goes far deeper than what we normally think it does.  Modern psychiatry has only scratched the surface of understanding the ego, never mind how to deal with ego once the force of kundalini is raging in you and ego is putting up a fight deep in the recesses of your subconscious self. This is where mania happens, or where psychotic breaks occur if you aren’t careful.  This is a powerful force, no less powerful than a DMT trip but absent the visual hallucinations, but full of feeling and awareness of the reality of how things are, dawning one moment to another moment within your awareness. It is a trip unlike any other, but it is also a trip that is about moving from illusion to reality.

For people who enter this realm who are overly rational and mental, this can spell winding up in an institution.  But for those who can go with the flow of the experience, then amazing things lie in wait. You might have been drawn to the idea of the exotic trip with ayahuasca in the Amazon or trying DMT or other psychedelics.  However, what I can promise you is that all of this same kind of chemistry already exists inside of you….not the kind of chemsitry where you trip or hallucinate necessarily, but an experience that opens you up dimensionally within your brain and cellular intelligence to the hyperdimensional nature of both your consciousness and the physical universe all at the same time.  And what is this universe? Its really kind of wild.  What appears to be random objects in space just bumping up against each other, all their own shape and form and for sentient life, their own individual selves, is actually a vast organism of being wherein everything is connected.  And this is not itself a seeming.  It is what is there once your mind opens or “blooms” through the thousand-petalled lotus of the Hindus or the Golden Flower of the Taoists.  This is the Ka of the Egyptians, and the Kah of the Maya and Polynesians.  It turns out that its all the same thing.

What makes nonduality so incredibly huge and important to us today is that when you are under its influence, you can literally become the thing you look at. I dont mean an illusion of sameness or connection, but independantly verifiable connection whereby just as two photons which have been “entangled” (connected through an association with each other) and when taken apart, one photon will react when the other photon is being energized.  This has been found to happen over vast distances and that time and space may have no effect on entangled particles. Deeper down this rabbit hole is the realization that physicsts are coming to which (is not surprise to me) is that is is potentially possible that EVERYTHING in the universe is somehow entangled with itself.  This means that we are all connected in together.  It means that when you are able to have the flow of energy moving through you that ancients have described as the universal force, you can FEEL anything that is out there.

The Gospel of Philip, which is rich in its use of nonduality elements explains that in our world here we can see the sun and then we can walk away and we know that we are separate from it.  We can do the same with people, with the moon, flowers, institutions, events, and atoms.  However, in the “other” world, as Philip puts it, when we look at the sun, be become the sun.  When we look at a person, we become that person.  When we see a war, we become that war, or other event.

What happens in nonduality is that the barrier betwen self and other falls away.  In truth, this barrier was not real. It never was.  It was a construct of the self to keep the self separate from everything else.  And yet, all of our seeking is actually about how we are connected to something larger, something bigger.  It is as though we cut ourselves off from a wonderful kingdom only to then go on pining for that land lifetime to lifetime.  This way of being is what we seek.  It is what we are after.  Religions will package it certain ways, but in all truth, you do not need a religion or method to know God or the living universe.  You just don’t. And without a religion, you have no beliefs that you MUST cling to, some of which are subject to the error of thousands of people who followed in the first teacher’s footsteps that then get copied through the texts as this material gets distributed through the world.  Why even go for such a “lossy” way of copying information. What if I told you that there is a way to knowing that is far more direct and transformative and that it does not require a drug trip nor a lot of money, or a teacher or a method, or any of that.

It is also the end of all belief if you are brave enough for that. It is the end of belief and the beginning of EXPERIENCE.  Why BELIEVE in a god when you can experience that god directly? You see, with nonduality, the seeming barrier between you and the other thing only exists in your mind.  YOU have created this barrier, and you have also maintained it, all the while holding back a VAST realm of energy. And you know, the world has gotten so expert at holding it back that it views letting go as the ultimate in defeat, of laziness, of not being “with it” or being focused here in this world.  It is in some measure not so different from what the beat and hipsters sought to do, which was to find a new way….ANY way out of the maze they had found themselves in.  The really courageous thing was that this did not involve religions necessarily, although a lot of people did trade a religion for something like Hindu gods and goddesses.  Some people even grew their hair, wore turbans and took eastern-sounding names like Ram Das or the like. I’m not criticizing those people because in a way, they needed to feel different and be different and this was a path for them to do it. They also gave up fundamentalism (most likely) for something far more embracing of differences and the great mystery of the universe. And certainly the Eastern traditions have a much better grasp on mystery than the western traditions ever seemed to have (except for the mystic strains that ran through Judaism, Islam, and Christianity).

The power to BE the thing that you observe.

What happens when this comes over you is that you FEEL the thing you observe.  You can quite literally receive direct imprints in the form of energetic psycho-physical data that is nearly instantaneous.  It leads to having high psi abilitiy as a result, or what we call psi. Yesterday I felt how my neighbor had suddenly come into my mind and I could feel his focus and presence on me in some way.  I found later that day as I got home that he had put a note on my door, the first of its kind ever since I have lived next to this guy, and it was about how he really wanted to see my house because he knows I am wanting to sell it. It turns out that at the same time when I felt his presence inside of me while visitng with a friend, he was on his way to my house sticking the note on my door.  This morning, for example, I could feel how an electronic transaction was being done that resulted in money being transferred to my account.  After four days of no activity on the end of the entity that was responsible for doing this, I suddenly could feel this rather cursory sense that someone or something had “seen” my transaction in a database somewhere and had marked my money for transfer. I had checked my account earlier and there was no money from this transaction.  Then within an hour of having feeling this, I checked my account to find that the money had been transferred at the time that I had felt it actually happening.  This is what I mean about this world that you enter into. It has a new set of rules, you could say, nd with it come a flood of different experiences. It also means a  different awareness and sense of responsibilty for what and HOW you feel.  I can tell you that its a strong motivational force for cleaning up the hard rough feelings that you can sometimes feel that is part of the inner architecture of the self that you once thought was separate and alone in this world.

But this is not for everyone.  Its only for those people who want to grapple with the truth of things.  If you want to make deals with reality, its best not to even try waking up this awareness within you because all you will have will be struggles.  I know this because I myself have tried this route and its hard, difficult, and can make you feel like you are being crushed under some amazing weight of indifferent truth that simply cannot be swayed or changed.  Gone are the days of your own private counterfeiting of reality and here is the reality of what actually IS.  The advantage to living your life WITH the truth is that your life is guided by an intelligence that is far more advanced than your own.  This is what Jesus meant when he said “I am one with the father.”  In truth, the documents had him saying “I am one with the father and mother.”  The whole concept of this being an engine of energy generation within the self has been completely lost in Christianity.  Also lost is the truth of how consciousness and the energy of consciousness is arranged the same way that electrical fields are oriented, which is in the shape of a torus.  This torus has a positive and negative polarity, the same polarity that the ancients called the feminine and masculine traits of consciousness.  This is also the same as the father and mother that Jesus spoke of.  It is the Shakti and Shiva of the Hindus.  It is the Yin and Yang of the Chinese.  The Holy Ghost in Christianity is the lost potential, the hidden face of our very consciousness and universe.  This “she” is the receptive side of all energy.  This is what all of the ancients have been describing all along.  Once this energy begins to connect into itself after you have removed the very real barriers in your cognition, the energy begins to flow automatically.  Kundalini flows, the Kah and the prana flow through you like liquid light.  You become incandescent.  You instantly achieve a high level of gnosis. You inherit something that was talked about over and over by Jesus, but has been largely miscomprehended….which is my word for “misunderstood.”  There was simply not a language that Jesus could describe all of this within and have it be well understood.  Jesus used words like “adultery” to explain how the self separates itself from this experience of nonduality, which divides one from the experience of being one with the father and mother.  He explains this in the Gospel of Mary, but most people who read these passages don’t even catch on to what it is he is saying. This is not just a simple case of misinterpretation on my part, its a lack of being able to understand the level at which this guy operated at.  The untold story was that he and his followers often operated at an incredibly high level of comprehension and yet they had very clumsy tools to try to get his across to people.  Consider that Jesus tells his disciples that he tells the masses about these secrets, put them right out in front of them in the form of parables, and yet it is like showing a blind person something that they just cannot and will not see.  He then says to his disciples that he speaks plainly to them and even THEY have a hard time understanding what it is he is saying. He was largely misunderstood. We turned his parables into stories about right and wrong and we lost the incredible depth that was there.

I am bringing up Jesus because he is a good example for how we just totally miss the boat on these things.  This is not an intellectual apprehension that is taking place.  This is something far more fundamental that is beginning to flower in your awareness, which is far more complex that mere thought.  When you become nondual your whole body begins sending you messages about this experience that is undeniable. It is also very powerful. It can also be overwhelming.  It takes a lot of willingness to stick with it and…..grow up.  To become more responsible and engaged with reality as it is and as it will unfold if you let it, and to also let go of your own individual need to try to make sense of things while your own mind merges into what I can only describe is a “superluminal mind” that is outside of time and has no restrictions placed on it. If there is any singularity that need take place in our tech world, it is the singularity of non-duality and how it can have wonderfully earth-shattering implications for us as individuals, as a culture, as a world, and as a universe.

But you need to hurry; we need more like you so others can understand just what it is I have been saying these last 2400 words.  There is no cost of admission but you do need to be ready for it.  Your innermost self will tell you if you are because you wont be able to keep it out of your mind.  Then, if that is the case, ask yourself if you can handle a practice that becomes a daily process wherein you become by shedding what you thought was important in favor of what will wind up, perhaps a decade from now, perfect for the self you will become.  The change will be rapid, fast-paced and it might be hard to keep old relationships.  It might be hard to work sometimes.  You might want to set aside some funds so you can go camping or go on a retreat or to work part-time for a while as your self unwinds lifetimes of error and distortions.  You shed a skin, or many skins, to find what you have been searching for.

P.

I see and sense the world as I have always done

with eyes that tell a story

but I feel the world from the inside out.

I live a life that is through all of the things of the world.

It is in this world that I feel the sensoral pulse of life here

and the brilliant bliss that courses through all of me.

I know that we, so fast and quick as we are

have forgotten much

of the turnings of atoms

and electrons in their orbits

and the incredible bliss

wrung from their frames

one nano-second to the next.

That I look out through your eyes

should then be normal

and in such a world

what isn’t impossible?

For years I forgot

that my bliss was my own

filling my own being

and not an endless array of worlds

caught up in there being no other

when there is other and other and other galore….

of atoms or people or blades of grass….

This tidal wive of bliss

is the universe

and how it communicates

through the love

that tears us down

apart

and helps put us

Osiris-like

back together again

the right way.

It changes everything you thought you knew

about the nature of divinity.

I live my life on the inside of things

you see…

I find refuge there

knowing what its truth is

bearing the lies

and learning to remain silent

as they are not my own

even as I feel them as if they were.

I live a life that is backward to most

but sacred to some

and the only way to peace

for all.

Look into my eyes

the sky

the brick wall

your curtains

and dust in the corner

my presence will move your lips

and show you the words

and those words will

be mine

in a multiplicity of ways

and yet while moving

you shall not grasp

but hold

with an open hand

the great mystery of this moment

as it fills us all

as passion fills each plattellet

and charges our blood

with the ancient knowing of our calling

and return.

I live my life this way

less and less confused

about where I begin and end

and where everything else

or anything else does

or might.

It admit that for some

this is the path of madness

but for me

it is how all of life lives it

except us

as we don these masks of selfhood

so rigidly

forgetting the stage we grace

is only real for this time

and could shift at any moment….

I am here to remind you

to live here

in this state

to work through your own tangled web

to inspire and to be inspired

by all of it

to clear away the path

that the Way might be easy.

The Tao shimmers through ever leaf and star

the blood bears it mark

in crystalline forms

before the flow of time

but not against it.

I look out through your eyes

in the most passionate stance there could ever be

and we wonder just what really is real…

Even dreams have changed for me long ago

I do not dream as I once dreamed.

I enter like an uninvited guest into worlds and dreams

that are not my own

like a familiar ghost

whose key fits every lock

and whose questions stir each soul to desire.

Spirit becomes like water

speaking ancient truths in languages nearly forgot

its multidimensional nature

keeps it current

and moving in it

of the world of light that lives inside of everything….

that has a life in all of us, waiting for that day when we open our eyes

to its great brilliance.

I see into the distant past and know the future

but do not know which is future or past

or what is real or not

since its silly; nothing that is is not real

because in this place where I live

I rest within all

rather than outwardly.

Split the stone and I am there….

Open your heart and feel me stirring

as the oldest motive force there has ever been.

P.

As simple as a cup of coffee in the morning

something in me opens up

I am curious

a map unfolds

a world opens

atoms in my body

dance and sing

as two energies

move through each other

in a dance that I know has been eternal.

The room begins to throb

quietly

I feel the electrons spinning in my body

inducing a field around me.

It has been years now

and so much I have gone through

and it still feels the same.

Its earthy

but cosmic

it builds dimension

and leads to great longing

and desire.

I feel a field moving

rippling around me.

I know that this is what moves mountains

and awakens minds.

It all sounds so high and mighty.

I step over and slip open a book

and there is a description

of Buddha who had thousands

who awakened whilst he was here

on Gaia…

and I know

we all serve as this

in our way

a steady torsion field

of influence

of the serpent people

the dream makers

the tapestry weavers

the love makers

the magical brethren and sisteren

that waits with heaving breath

in hope and wish

of ushering in the new way….

Whilst coffee and tea are made…

I look into your eyes

which are the eyes of legion

everyone

for goddess dwells in everything

everywhere

-split the stone and she is there

she is everywhere….

a calm breeze

a rush of realization

of the sacred androgyne

that this makes of us

and explodes all notions

opening us up to the new

as skin after skin is shed….

as I feel you there

in the kitchen

as the water hasn’t even begun to boil

but the universe opens up

so simply and wildly.

I am reaching the goddess

reaching the goddess within

so as to heal the god

and make my world

a garden with no competing weeds

You react in the air around me

as I ride this wave

moment to moment

day to day

a great big silly silence

with nothing present

no one there

with a room full of something

entirely quiet

but screaming too…

the universe yearns this way

and bids us to

so we might create as it does

moment by micromoment

in scales measured in

millennia curled up within nanoseconds

as all time expands perfectly within its one great moment

alive in all other moments

and my inners seek the flow from one polarity to the other

to unlock my own secrets

that I am here to find

in the eternal garden of the soul….

Years ago, right as kundalini rose and my whole life made a 180 degree course correction, I had a life.

In that life I had a home that I bought.  That home was a nice home, but I soon outgrew it, or it outgrew me as my own life morphed and changed.  I am now in the midst of doing work to bring my old home to a state of readiness for sale.  And for the life of me, I cannot disengage the house renovations for my own inner renovations.

I can’t because all of the objects we find in our lives are delicately intertwined, the outer with the inner and visa versa.  To show you what I mean, when I went to close on this house I discovered that the owners were selling the home to settle a divorce.  I would divorce a year and a half later.  I would discover things about the house that showed a number of very odd correlations with events in my own life there and with my family.  Coincidence, or events that have a way of coinciding within our own in such a way that like attracts like?

I am aware that how I am blocked may be how my house is blocked. Physical objects are subject to the same “rules” governing energy as people are.  Energy forms matter, and all things are energy.  Why should we think that sentient beings and objects made out of matter are really all that much different?  The aren’t.  Locations can be just as stuck as people are, and can be just as haunted as people as well. I have had many very pointed experiences in this area that shows that you can actually free a locations of its “glitches” or snags.  One powerful way of doing this is changing yourself.  Because this is a dynamic process, what you do on the outside can change what is on the inside sometimes. If I make a change in me, the vibration that is taking place or that is attached to my home is freed to change as well. So with that in mind, I have turned the renovation of my home, which amounts to a lot of fixing and painting, into a meditation on my own insides.  I can say that so far it has helped a lot with blocks of energy and continues to help.  This is one example for how work of this kind can be an active form of meditation.

No Whitewash

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I didn’t want to simply slap paint onto the surface of my home.  Paint had accumulated over many decades.  My home is almost 80 years old and it looks like it has not had any paint stripped from it at all.  I took torch and scraper to the paint and began the laborious process of removing all paint from surface to deep core.  As I did this, I could feel how all the memory locked into the surface of the paint just peeled away and became like a crispy crust that I tossed into the trash.  Likewise, I could feel how allowing myself to be scraped deep, to open myself to such radical clearing was one important way to clearing away material that was keeping me blocked in my life.  Lot of it, I wasn’t even aware of.  But that is how some of these blocks are.  You almost rely on a kind of “further knowing” a knowing that feels like its beyond you, to know what you can’t possibly know.  And yet you do.

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Things looked like hell for a while.  But isn’t that how it is?  Once you get honest with yourself, you can disrobe and let all of the surface details go to get down to the real you.  Thing was, this old house has such nice bones.  Surely, this bodes well for each of us.  But we often pretend to be something we aren’t, or aren’t even AWARE enough that we are something more than what we are.  One thing is for sure, we sure can be pretty unaware of our broader potential sometimes.

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As work progressed, more and more paint was removed. Trees were taken down and turned into mulch.  Gutters were fixed and small trees dug up and bushes trimmed.  It was a hair cut that was some five years in the making.  The old lady was going to look a lot better once I was able to get some good paint on her.

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I can’t cut corners when I do a job like this.  I just can’t.  I can’t bring myself to buy the paint that one worker bought who was doing some painting on an other part of the house.  I directed him to a gallon of paint I had bought that was easily double the price of the paint he had with him. The thing is, when you look at the two paints on different parts of the house, you can tell a difference.  Cheap paint just lacks the body and the luxurious look that a paint that is more expensive will have.  This old lady needed to be dressed up nice so that she glowed.  I wanted to give this house some love because we all deserve this. The love outwardly became the love inwardly…

And things began to shape up.

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Month by month this work dragged on.  I probably missed the window for the most active time for buying homes but I don’t care.  I want to do this job right, you know?  I will only sell this house once and its a doozie of a home.  I wont see her likes again in a good long while.

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New gardens put in help to shape the front and helps add a splash of color.  Sitting at the top of a hill, the roofline of this dutch colonial is perched perfectly to look out across town.  Private, but in the middle of everything, just as I like it so often, the house is situated nicely amongst the homes in the neighborhood.

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As I work, I think about my own body.  I think about driving up old splinters and hurts and forgotten sorrows and joys so as to liberate them so that they no longer turn like a stone that refuses to return to dirt but instead tumbles and rattles in our insides for so long a time we forget it is even a rock doing that…..an old rock of an old feeling we just have not had the courage or willingness to let go.  Maybe its a feeling that will make us all think we are just crazy….a feeling that we know that if we let go, we will never feel again.  No matter how incredibly broken it may seem to admit that, we humans love the devil we know rather than the angel that we don’t.

We can though look at a house and see how its not so different from us in some ways.  We can dig up the old bones and let them see the light and realize that now no more secrets need to be kept.  We can enter into the glory of a new life.  Doing this is a moment of pure honesty….a moment that most of us seem more afraid of than a hundred monsters in our closets.  But looking honestly at everything is a brilliant maker of lives because it helps us to build on a foundation built right rather than one that was poorly set to begin with.

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She is looking good and I have high hopes for using this sale as the catalyst for big changes in my own life.

I’ll keep you updated.

heart

I know that for many who seek enlightenment, a better way, a more authentic life, this most often means reading widely and trying to see if you can pry out the gold from our storied past.  I was myself a seeker since age nine when I felt like there was something more.  I could not quite put my finger on it, but over the years this sense has led me down many different roads, but all of them have led back to me right here and now.

When I awoke and my blood ran with a sacred fire that began to transform me from the moment it began to move in me, I have been part of an accelerated process of becoming.  What I have seen, though, is that most people treat this condition as rare, unique.  I want to dispell this notion and explain that you do not need a system or even information on any of this.  You do not need kundalini meditation or yoga or special breathing, mantras, or any of it.  You don’t.  You do not need arcana, or ancient texts to get you there.  Chances are that the books that do speak of it, you wont “get” unless you already have it.  I have observed that ancient Christian texts that explain this process of awakening very well are complete mysteries to the scholars who study them.  By scholars I mean the likes of Elaine Pagels and Bart Ehrman, for a few.  The problem is that what is being described is itself a nonphysical reality so any effort at trying to describe or explain it will either be so basic that there is no information contained, or it will be clothed in symbol and metaphor.  The truth in most great teachers’ teachings about this is right out in the open and most do not get it.  Even Jesus laments that his own disciples didn’t get it.

Reaching the infinite, cosmic consciousness, or enlightenment, is not something that we were ever designed to reach by way of methods, and it is one reason why I do not offer many, if at all. Why?  Because it is just so incredibly simple.  Awakening is itself a release of what is holding you back from your natural state.  As it edges into your life, it becomes a sustaining fire of transformation as you and everyone else who has ever had this has experienced.  What we are undoing is centuries of programming that has conditioned us all to focus the bulk of our awareness through our rational minds.  This awakening is itself the result of awakening both the current and the hemisphere in the body that aligns with the current of energy that we are each holding back in our lives.  This current is known as the kundalini shakti in the Hindu tradition, but is highly aligned to the right brain and with nonrational and nonlinear thinking.  While the rational mind can be a good servant in this process, many people believe (Ken Wilber one of them it seems) that we go at this rationally.  But this is itself a mistake.  The rational mind is here to serve the right brain, the more feminine aspect of our consciousness.  Why? Good question. This is what is being called the Divine Feminine, and it is also the Holy Ghost (no matter how much some Christians would like to raise doubt that this is somehow a “false” spirit—no—it is quite real alright!)

We are beautifully made.  We have two capacities within us that handle a broad range of processing of experience.  The rational and linear left brain excels at making lists, making priorities, and seeing details.  It is, I content, the seat of the earthly ego that identifies  itself as an individual entity in its environment. An over-reliance on this part of our awareness and inner workings leads to a feeling of separation (leading to alienation, too). We are made to exist in stasis, in a delicate kind of range of balance in our physiological functioning.  It is all a matter of balance.  So just as an over-reliance on the left brain egoistic sides of our being can make us feel estranged and alone, there is another side to us that sees the other side of our world.  Sadly, THIS part of us has been largely submerged.  If it hadn’t, we would all see the connections indwelling in all things less as some mystic woo-woo but as a tangible verifiable fact.  No woo-woo needed!

Awakening, or bouts of nonduality all have at their core an experience of an erasure of that which seems to make us separate.  This is because at a certain level, everything is connected, but most people never reach this level of awareness.  It is, however, existing right beside your linear processor of yours.  Since developing this concept based on my own personal experience, I have found that a lot has come out that supports this notion.  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who I have written about a few times before, has both a book and a TED talk describing an experience she had of her left brain shutting down after the had a stroke one morning.  Want to guess what she experienced as a result of this?  She experienced a state of enlightenment.  She describes it perfectly in her TED talk.

Enlightenment is not something that we should have to work at.  Enlightenment is a natural state that has been suppressed.  But as a result of this, our race here on this planet have created all sorts of processes and methods to try and trigger it.  We have all kinds of esoterica that has been created over centuries that all point to it.  But at the end of the day it is about one simple thing: releasing the feminine aspect of consciousness (as we define it) from its cognitive cage in our awareness.  Doing this sets into motion a change in how the body functions. It changes HOW you feel.  this reinforces different modes of behavior, too.

The physiological changes that take place in the body are well known and observable.  It leads to better health, better cognition, and most often the awakening of latent abilities and seemingly miraculous happenings. What I write about in my book Waking The Infinite is how our physiology is actually connected, tuned in directly to events happening around us.  I know; you might think I am talking about the Law of Attraction. Not really.  To be absolutely correct, I am uncovering a way by which we can live where the rate of manifestation can be increased many fold.  I am not suggesting that we will get more things, more stuff; I am showing a way by which the self can be arranged so that when you are in the flow with your higher self and when you can clear away the energy blocks, it is possible to see events so uncanny that they defy description.  These happen ALL THE TIME in my life.  This is not some weirdo’s manifesto, but is, I observed, tied into what the quantum physicists say we cannot do (because there is no proof) which is to link from the atomic level of “weirdness” to the human-scaled level of experience.  What happens in the weird wild world of the quantum universe can happen in our world, and in the book I show you how this is done.  To do it requires that you change, to become all that you can be.  Then, just as Jesus said, when you ask the mountain to move, it will move.

We are releasing the very block that each of us have placed in our emotional lives that keep the waters of “she” dammed up.  This is the fluid part of us, the part that can see vastness in a moment, and see the interconnectivity in all things.  The rational mind cannot, will not, do this.  And those who try wind up grasping a corpse.

When you consider that enlightenment is releasing a cognitive block that allows awareness of something long hidden to flow into conscious awareness, you can perhaps begin to understand or see how the self needs to arrange itself in order to best accommodate this change.  Many people struggle with it, and the more they try to be rational with it, the more they struggle.  You can see the evidence of these types, and some do a very good job of it, but they are taking something entirely without limit and trying to fit it into neat cognitive boxes.

You can comb and tease through this field gently and get all kinds of amazing ideas, concepts, discoveries, yes, and they will become the mountain of 10,000 things….all physical phenomenon, creations that are part of our being here.  Each important as markers for where we are as individuals and as a species.  Without being able to abide with this rich sense of Presence that is the energy that is in all things, doing this may be limited.

The first year of my awakening I had what I describe as being taken by the energy down into the world of the subatomic.  It was itself an amazing journey, one that showed how a very basic form of matter could turn itself from matter into energy, basically changing its form.  It were these incredibly small particles, I was told, that formed everything.  These
“particles” though were themselves conscious.  They formed aggregations of themselves in amazingly immense and vast ways that create matter, events, and were the things that our thoughts ride upon.  These things, whatever they were or are, were like a key to understanding all of matter.  What was most interesting was how they behaved: they moved from particle to wave and this I was told was VERY important.  When I looked into physics, like what Einstein was dealing with, there was little talk about any of this. I suspect that this is why Einstein’s theory of Relativity fails to help us come up with a unified field theory…..which if its on the mark, it should do.  But it doesn’t.  I soon found that quantum theory was explaining a lot more, which is how matter is both particle and wave.  This is important because in a way, consciousness is this way and it is the dance of our two sides of the yin and yang.  One is limited (particle) which is the left brain and the other is not.  In fact, this “other” (feminine) has the capacity to create sheer miracles.  In physical life, the feminine is capable of nurturing two particles that merge into something that is greater than the sum of their parts, which is a new life.  What happens on the physical level of our animal nature is itself a reflection of what happens in consciousness, but at another level of dimension of experience (meaning that it is not literally the same but approximate or similar).  Thus we have the yin (feminine) and the yang (masculine) in the Taoist tradition and the Shakti/Shiva in the Hindu tradition.  And every other tradition has aspects of this contained within it. This was possible because I had merged these two forces running inside of me. The more I merged them in bliss in my body, the more this material would come.  These were in pitched states of intense meditative focus.  I became  hyper-aware.Turns out that the Vedas actually describe how people often are able to SEE into the world of the impossibly small, in documents that describe very well the concept of the atom, for example.  Thing is, I am not a Hindu.  I do not need faith or belief.  I ONLY need to be HUMAN.  People!  HUMAN!  WE ARE ONE.  🙂  (I am beginning to feel like Dr. Bronner in his soap label sermons!)

I once had a friend explain that I felt like I was “Waaaay out there!” but in truth, I am incredibly present.  This is because the missing ingredient, the “feminine” in me was now moving and merging with its counterpart in my body, which is just as kundalini is said to do.  It is also what Jesus described when he said “I am one with the Mother and Father.”  Yes, he said “Mother and Father” many times as verified in apocrypha and in the Nag Hammadi scrolls, documents dug up in the deserts of Egypt in 1945 and which were fully translated in the early 1970’s.  These are new (old) stories that have managed to survive the book burnings that took place in the wake of the Nicean Council that was intended to determine what the dogma and the books were going to be that we would later call the Bible.  Sadly, the truth was made into heresy.  But regardless of what did happen, the little secret here is that no matter who you are or what belief or system you are into, when this comes, unless you are dead, you will feel this very sensual rise of energy that feels like the embrace of TWO in one (Christ or Cosmic Consciousness as the child of their energetic union).  Now as I write this, understand, there is no man nor woman there.  These are forces in our very physiology that causes one to feel this way.  It is intelligent, yes, and its movement will change your life.

In every situation, whether it is traceable or not, what stirs awakening is a letting go of that which held back the waters of this experience.  There is nothing that you need to know.  Like a baby, you are programmed for this.  It is in your DNA, it is in your blood.  It in fact runs in your body even as your consciousness has blocked it out.

What is happening to us is itself how our feelings inhibit the production of those chemical triggers that sustain the fire of awakening in us.  This is NOT just some cosmic energy.  It is ALL of us, all the way down to the calcium in our bones and to the tremor of prana lighting us up.  When you are able to release the emotional material that is serving to inhibit this physiological shift in you, awakening is itself only a matter of time. I know: there are centuries worth of people who have spoken of only the righteous “getting” this.  Bullshit!  The ones who “get” this are those who have in some measure been honest or who have helped to release something deeper within, something that they may have suppressed for a long time.  Some of it may not even make sense for the very fact that this suppressed material DOESN’T make sense.  This is part of our irrational selves.  When something has been shoved down inside of us because its too hard to bear or look at, it forms the corpus of blocks in our bodies, both physical and etheric.  There are traditions built on aiding in releasing these blocks.

What can trigger this is broad for the simple reason that our emotional material that is suppressed is broad.  In some cases, people do not identify what just  happened to cause it, only that something came loose.  Maybe it was the twig that broke that caused it.  Sometimes we ripen by ways of simple things, less like science and more like poetry.

In some cases, it is a simple willingness to stop rationalizing and allow awareness to return to its root.  Sometimes a chakra cleansing exercise might be enough, and this most certainly does release blocked material.  In some cases really strong emotions can unblock material.  There are a LOT of people describe how intense emotions were felt just prior to their awakenings. Sometimes strong emotions did it.  I had a twin soul (as they are called) who described a dream she had about six months before we awoke together where she was standing looking out across the world from a great height and a man walked up to her and asks her somewhat chidingly while the depths of the energy began to stir, “Do you remember?  Are you ready for it?”  She said she did, and that she was.

When Buddha awoke, he was not doing much of anything except meditating under that tree.  THAT is how simple all of this is.  As a result, Buddha sought to develop a method for his followers to attain what he had attained, which was essentially a copy of what he had been doing.  This is called vipisanna meditation.  I have a family friend who awoke using this method.  It involves sustained quiet, mindfulness, and meditation, a state of being that most people almost never allow themselves.  Normally, we are so focused outwardly that it never occurs to us just who or what we are.  This method can help with this.

Will it do it for you?  It is hard to say.  I can say with absolutely certainty that what helped me awaken was letting go of a long-standing sense of guilt with the universe that I was not doing enough in my life.  When I let that go, it was as if a log had been dislodged in my heart and I began feeling different immediately.  This log was itself a block for any energy moving in my system.  Who knows what sorts of blocks you have, but there are a lot in most humans (hundreds of thousands from big to small and in every center of energy in the body from foot to crown).

This feeling, once allowed enough room in me, continued to grow over a six month period until my process grew into a full-fledged “awakening.”  I suspect that the reason why my awakening was gradual was that I had a lot of material in the way, a lot of suppressed material that had to be slowly teased out of my consciousness.  Once that was done, the fire rose up through me.  Everything that you could say about my awakening went against what the scrolls and documents all say.

So what do I do?

You realize who you are without the coverings, what some call illusion.  I resist calling it that because I like to call it what it is (like a proper Tantric would) which is that it is a CREATION.  If you see these things as creations you see perhaps that you can create something different!  You can live and create in a wildly different way! My own creative life has been completely renovated in so many ways based on my own awakening.    WHat you created a year ago will be different now.  But to understand what it is that you are creating, you also have to examine the beliefs that underpin those actions/creations, for they are surely born out of that kind of foundation. But this is where things get juicy and wonder-filled!

You have to get to the part of you that dreams, that is the “secret” you, the part of you that you feel within you that is not subject to outwardly looking into the world.  It is the part that knows there is more but is softer, more afraid of speaking the truth for fear of how it might sound.  It is the wellspring of our magical selves.  It has been suppressed and called illegitimate for centuries.  It is our source-point and wellspring of wonder and awe.  It is so strong, so powerful, that it alone is capable of taking you apart, piece by piece and putting you back together again.  It alone has the awareness and the intelligence.  The rational mind cannot do this.

Just look at our world and you can see how we have teetered on the edge of destroying the planet and ourselves all due to our short-sightedness, courtesy of our rational minds that are unable to glimpse the bigger picture. It is also part of our imaginations and our creative selves.  If you look at how artists have been treated in our society, you will see how lopsided our values have been.  We prefer to build bombs that are ten million dollars a piece instead of fostering creativity as a nurturing source for culture.  It seems we are about as busy destroying culture as we are in trying to build it!  And of course, artists are often seen as weirdos, freaks, or just “out there.”  The reason for this is that most rationally minded people never bother to get enough into the mind of the creative self to every see and feel what its like to live there. We say artists starve and so its not a good idea to be one, and yet, its because we so undervalue the creative that we are ourselves choking off culture in all of our communities.  We cheer when an arts organization gets a grant for $50,000.00 without ever considering how much we put to armaments on a per capita basis.  If we knew the difference we might blush or grow white! I’ll tell you that in 2009 the per capita spending was $2,141.00 for our military spending Source. What do you think the per capita spending is on arts, do you think?  Yeah.  You get the idea.  With bases all over the world and our hand in everyone’s pie, it is no wonder things are so expensive.  Time to be a light house.  Time to realize that our involvement in the world is not really spreading democracy as we have been told, but is only serving the military industrial complex and those who stand to make the most money from it.  It might seem cynical, but it is true. We spend 22 billion a year to secure our borders.  It is something to think about, really see and understand in terms of where our priorities are as a nation and species.

The world of energy is in all things and as a result, the energy residing in a mouse in the deserts of Mexico can be felt and discerned from a great distance for the simple fact that energy, having no mass, can be anywhere and everywhere.

Knowing and abiding with who and what you are is not as easy as it sounds.  Inside of all of us is also lurking our skeletons within that depth of being.  It is as though the cabinet door to Narnia, a magical world, is first populated by our horrors that we have each put in there in just such a way that they also keep us from delving too deeply within it to see that beyond our skeletons is a deep blue world of wonder.  It is this part of us that those who awaken discover once the skeletons are dealt with.  In just the same way that we can see the world through our physical senses, we also have a part of us, the opposite and hidden side of us, that “Shakti” lurking that also has senses.  We each have these, and they are tied into our etheric or pranic bodies.  The world of energy is in all things and as a result, the energy residing in a mouse in the deserts of Mexico can be felt and discerned from a great distance for the simple fact that energy, having no mass, can be anywhere and everywhere.  Those who awaken describe psychic abilities, which are a natural result of a more conscious awareness of the flow of this energy within them.  This energy can itself be anywhere and it forms the basis for all psi abilities.  They might all SEEM different, but they are at their core based on the flow of energy that can be and is everywhere.  These are what are called siddhis by the Hindu yogis.  This is not a Hindu thing; it is a human thing….be you Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Native American, Eskimo, or Aborigine.

This is also why some can awaken by the simplest means.  You turn, you feel something drop and boom.  You are a goner!  Krishnamurti, identified as the “World Teacher” by the likes of Blavatski and the Theosophists didn’t have it.  He dissolved his “Order Of The Star” because he knew better.  Whatever it was, he didn’t have it.  It took years before it struck him.  And perhaps some might argue that those Theosophists had an intuition about that U.G. Krishnamurti….and perhaps they DID see something….or perhaps it served to help him to examine himself a little more and ask what IS this thing they think I have that I KNOW I don’t have?  He met with those who DID have it.  One of them said he wasn’t ready for it.  U.G., being prone to indignation and arrogance, became angry at this man and his dismissal of U.G.  Years later, when asked how others could “get it,” he replied, “You don’t want this.”  Those who are not ready for how it rearranges your inner furniture will have a very hard time of it.  You have to let go and let this thing just take you apart.  You have to be honest with yourself, brutally honest, and let it have its way with you.  “She” is always right!

You are using your earthbound consciousness to form a kind of bridge with a higher order awareness that is at once a part of you and a part of your higher self, which you have largely been out of contact with for most of your life. This bridge requires a certain “arrangement” within the self, and it CANNOT be done by way of the rational mind. The rational mind is limited.  It is like seeking to hook up 4 million volts with a wire that is rated for 40 amps.  Silly, right?  So you use the part of you that IS capable of dealing with this, and it is the irrational and unlimited and also the dreamy side of who you are. Two wires are now joined in your awareness and the thing that brought these wires together was what was removed that was getting in the way of conducting a circuit of continuity from one end of you to the other….a microcosm for how the universe is made: we are all made to be connected, tied together.  All of creation is like this.  We as the silly humans are just now catching on to what the Native Americans have said, the aboriginal peoples, who have explained that everything is part of a web of life.  It is so because they felt it, saw it, and knew it.  Sitting Bull spoke about how he would find answers from listening to meadow larks.  Now that might strike you as crazy, but not if you live in the world the awakened do!

The charm of the world emerges in all of this.

And so here you are wondering what this is.  It is so simple.  It is who and what you are but most of it has been suppressed. Its not hard to understand what it is.  Look at our societies down through time.  Look at how the feminine has been suppressed, marginalized, swept under the rug.  The story of Mary Magdalene and Jesus was itself the subject of a lot of disinformation. She was labelled a prostitute by a pope early on in the process.  The church has since admitted that there was no evidence for this.  The Gnostic texts describe how Jesus says “I am one with the Mother and the Father.”  A paternalistic tradition followed in his wake and sought to take the Mother out of the picture.  And this Mother is the Mother that lies in our consciousness…..not as a literal anima, but as a quality of consciousness.  This is why most male teachers who awakened also softened during their years.  Buddha was himself angular and sharp, he was part of a warrior lineage that laid control over vast swaths of land and made themselves kings by their own decree.  But this man is shown as soft and round, not the strong angular fellow he was who also wore a beard.  He is shown sitting on a lotus in his bliss.  It is because of the flow of this field of energy in him that did this.  It will also do it to you.  And the more you resist the “her” the more you will make this process maddening.  You simply have to trust it, what Christians say, “give it up to God.”  If you can trust this larger awareness, it will stop seeming like an outsider and will connect you into the larger realm of your awareness so that you will cease being a Balkanized consciousness.

You will be knitted back, each block released, each misgiving let go, you will feel more whole, and more able to send the kit of your earthbound self into sheer infinity.  Most people are just not ready for this fire, so they resist.  But once awakened, its going to keep working on you.  By letting go and allowing this thing to work on its own, you can be here and let this larger part of you work on the harder stuff.  This is nothing short of learning how to merge with your higher being ongoing and in a contiguous way.  And most people will simply not like this approach because its too simple.  The problem is that every method is meant to help you FEEL a certain way.  This is why teachers create methods.  But what happens when you don’t get what it is they are trying to get you to feel into?  You move from method to method.  Ultimately, you will learn it is not about method but about simply being, of releasing that little something that knows itself as part of everything else, that part that is anchored in your right brain that is able to glimpse, see, and make connections within with this “everything” that is nonduality.  This can be scary for some people for how unlimited it is.  A drop of “her” in your awareness is enough to do it.  One drop contains the whole, and YOU are part of this whole.

So meditation sometimes does it.  Going within and being quiet and looking inward can help.  But realize, many people try to go within and get quiet and most often wind up situating themselves inwardly FEELING themselves but while looking out with their senses.  You have to go into your FEELING self and look outwardly through THAT part of yourself.  We are not used to this, but this is where the infinite lies.  The lens of our energetic awareness is within our feeling selves, not our rational selves. We communicate to the universe through feeling, not through the rational.  the rational factual material SERVES the creative aspect alive in every atom, cell, and world.  But you have to know how to turn your awareness inward.  You can’t sit and then just be aware of all the noise on the street and the itch on your butt and the fly in the room.  When the awareness of this gateway becomes obvious to you, all of those things wont be distractions.  They will simply be a part of all phenomenon because by then, the world will begin to feel like one big BUZZ of energy.  The Taoists said “Turn The Lantern Of Your Awareness Inward.”  The reason for this, as described in the “Secret Of The Golden Flower” is that  we bleed our energetic awareness outward through our sensory selves.  It isn’t like we have a limited amount of energy, though.  It is due to there being little awareness of the inner illumination.  Building up some energy within can cause things to happen.  Building energy inwardly is like striking a match and then having a sustained flame within.

This is not all there is.  Just as there is a physical world, there is the soul of the physical world, too, the inside of things.  This awareness will bring you an awareness or a capacity for this awareness of this side to the physical.  But to do this you need to really turn your energy inward instead of outward.  FEEL your energy.  Sit with your energy and be quiet.  Get really quiet. You might have to do this when you go to sleep because sometimes you really do have to get THAT quiet and still within.  Our inner chatter is so deafening that it drowns out the awareness of our own energy.  But the energy itself is the thing that will liberate you.  Keep it flowing within instead of flowing outward.  It is no surprise that many methods seek to have your look within.

Something that is very simple that will help you to feel your energy more and more is breathing using an alternating nostril breathing that I have used and have had my students use in art school.  It is incredibly calming for those who are willing to let its magic work on them.  It involves closing one nostril with your finger and breathing slowly in and then out four times through that one nostril.  Then, you alternate to the other nostril and do this four times, alternating all the way.  What you want to be able to do is to have your thought chatter slow or stop as you place all awareness on your breathing.  Breath work has an amazing capacity to stop all thought, and stopping this chatter is one way to help you to get in touch with your energy and to know yourself.  Do this exercise as many times as you need in order to find your thoughts calm.  Then, the process is so simple most miss it: FEEL how you feel without thinking it or trying to analyze it.  It is so simple, it escapes most people.

It is here that the source of all magic lies.  Our notion of magic, though, has been subject to a kind of mythologizing process.  Magic is actually real, but we have simply choked it off.  We have instead made our leaders or our god men and women do amazing deeds while we have languished because of original sin or some other reason that has served to keep the fire of being at bay. When you awaken, when you think of something, it has a way of happening.  Buddha, upon awakening thought how he no longer wanted to fast, that he needed to eat.  Just then a woman walked by with a bowl of rice and asked if he would like it.  I have no doubt that this story sought to tell the story of the “synchronistic” event within awakening.  Jesus also was trying to teach his followers to rely on this aspect of their being teaching them how upon awakening when they ask the mountain to move, it will move.  Those who have awakened often describe how their lives are made up of one event after another like this.  I did all the research for my book Waking The Infinite using this method.  It takes some getting used to, but it works amazingly well. It requires you to think and be different. It means letting go of control so that this “other” can enter and begin manifesting in just the right way.  It is this other side of us that this can happen, and it can happen each day.

How many times have I allowed these events into my life, entirely impossible events where my finger plucks a random book off the shelf in the library without looking at its title only to find a passage that speaks directly to what it is I am writing in my book.  Listening deeper, I have followed inner promptings to go places and to do things a certain way, never sure what it all means, only to find myself standing in front of the source I needed for my next chapter.  This is why some people were branded witches, I am convinced, because their lives seemed to be charmed.  Of course we have also been suspicious of women who knew how to practice old methods of herbal medicine and many men drove them out of it by branding them witches and having them killed.  Most were likely devout Christians, even!  But the women who were in touch with their own source of magic often had unusual things taking pace all around them.  If they asked for it, it just came.  Since they may have not bought into a more mainline kind of Christianity, many would have assumed that they had some pact with some being other than the angry and punishing father God.  All the while, it is all so much more subtle than this.

The energy that flows through us that makes all of this possible flows when the rational mind steps aside.  When the ego is pushed to the back of us, the flow increases.  When this flow has been the strongest, this is when the magical events in my uncanny life have increased.  Every time.  It is a corollary that I not just see each and every time, but something that I allow when I let my mind stop being so limited.  “Dream big, Parker” it whispers, and when I do, the flow within meets and mirrors a flow outwardly that is the same. When it happens, it all seems so impossible…..and yet it happens over and over in such a way that there is no mistaking it. When there is nothing inwardly (a block) that competes with the thought, it can manifest very quickly.  It seems like magic, but it is the forgotten aspect of living a life that now have the awareness of our fluid Shakti selves alive in us.  It is also the channel that connects each of us to ever larger realms of consciousness.  What is felt as a flow of energy is like a creek by your door.  Following it, it leads to still larger creeks and eventually, to rivers and then to a vast limitless ocean.  This is an ocean of bliss.  It is what we have all been waiting for.

Come, the ocean is beckoning!  It is simple.  It really is.  Overcoming the patterning and old habits of being the victim in life, or being powerless, or not mattering, or being inconsequential, or any of the thousands of stories we tell ourselves, will all in time, at least potentially, we swept aside.  For each of us, it is a matter of our free will.  Can’t nothing come up against THAT force!  So make sure you are ready and able to let go the desire to control.  Let go of the bank and let yourself float, flow.  It really is innevitable.  I am only here as a reminder.

Beyond all methods, beyond all our supposed knowledge, we are each as simple in awakening as a flower is before the sun.  We GOT this!  It is WHO and WHAT we are.  Don’t let anyone else try to make you think or feel otherwise!  I came here to spread what was utterly ubiquitous where I am from.  I am here to spread in whatever way I can, the “heaven” that is locked up within us.  But admission to this “heaven” means getting rid of your shame, all of it.  Thus, everything that we are suddenly moves from seeming dirty and broken-seeming to glorious and perfectly made for meeting awakening.  It is a 180° turn in our awareness.  It was here all along, right in front of us, we just could not see it for what it was.

It is the essence of what Tantra seeks to teach at its core.  It really isn’t about sex.  It is about feeling bliss in such a way that there is no shame and where there is no overemphasis on the sexual.  Our entire BEINGS are lit on fire with the bliss that makes us incandescent.  How do I explain how what was once base energy is allowed to be transmuted….but also released so that the whole body feels energy that is not verging on the orgasmic. How do you allow yours whole body become flooded, engulfed by this sexual-feeling bliss like the flooding of the Nile, and not let it cause a stir in your beyond feeling marvelous?  The blocks, like rocks in the river, cause the perfect flow of this bliss to become rough water.  If enough are there, then we get rapids and white water.  It all happens when the channels for this bliss narrow.  Too much is trying to get through and we all look to the rough water and ooh and ahh and seek those places and wind up upside down and lying on the bank!  But letting this flow all through you unhindered without needing to make it into anything is an important step.  It is how we heal and transmute.  The mere presence of this energy is itself healing.  It teaches you how to handle incredible bliss without losing your head. Like riding the waters of a swift river, you have to keep your head about you.  I can admit to having lost my head a time or two in such waters and it was not pretty, but I also did not drown.  I got back up and continued on.

Imagine if people felt this good all the time.  Imagine how quickly our world would change.  Oh, no doubt, there would be the rational types who might be in hospitals, but there would be enough of us to help them through it.  Right?

The path through this is one of self honesty. Until you can practice this, moving through your process can be difficult.  I know.  All of the material that I KNEW lay within me that was unresolved was always the source of all my troubles and failings.  I cannot begin to tell you how those blocks served to limit how I was able to see.  And once awakening comes, it is important to realize that this force in you has the ability to heal you completely if you let it.  Opening yourself up to your own truth, listen and allow your rational mind to count all of the things that need to be identified that are your worst problems.  It will happily go about this task and deliver it up to you perfectly appointed and arranged on a silver platter (but don’t let it do any more than that 😉 )

Seeking healers in awakening will often be limiting.  You will find that each healer will often, not always, mirror just where you are.  There are healers out there who in subtle ways serve limitation and thus our healing is also limited.  In some ways they can open our eyes, in other ways the limits that they accept are the same limits that we are not aware of ourselves.  It is very rare to be able to find healers who are not limited.  I was lucky to find this, and you have to be ready to seek the highest, to not put any conditions on finding a healer or teacher who is sufficiently ahead of you and healed that you have the chance to heal a lot yourself.  Sometimes we can get very blessed.

A teacher who KNOWS how to parrot a teaching but who does not live it will never be succesful at getting students coming up to embody those teachings.  WHY?  Because beyond the knowledge, there is BEING.  Did you really think this was all about knowledge?  Silly, it is about being.  All great “teachers” are able to simply remind you of who you are beyond your filters and lenses when the “student” is ready.  This is why a glance is often more powerful than any conveyance of information.

You are simply here to remember.  Are you ready?

I just want it better and better for every being here on earth.  How do we get beyond what holds us back inwardly?  What does the inner lens do for and against us?  How can we go beyond the paradigm of every one for themselves to something we were perhaps made for…..and if not made for….able to make ourselves into?  Work.  Lots of work to do on this self of mine!

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