Archives for posts with tag: kudalini

My awakening came gradually. It came in somewhat measured steps. The first step clearly opened me to a strong flow of prana and my first experience of nonduality. Then, over five months, I began having innexplicable events occurring that led me deeper. A friend loaned me a hemisync cd for clearing emotional baggage. Another gave me a meditation technique I have detailed in the last post.

A Voice spoke in my mind telling me to close my eyes and focus on the center of my brow. Complying, I awakened my third eye, a process that expanded over several days once I focused my attention there and saw the fiery brightly lit eye emerge into my field of vision. Then I was taught or tutored in how to alter my consciousness to take advantage of the wave-form part of our consciousness, the part we call the feminine, the Shakti, the right brain and left side of the body. Everything was unfolding, gradually, carefully, as if by some plan. I wrote about it to close friends. I had no idea what it was leading to.

I had several events that all directed me along a path to awakening in a way that left me the last to know what all of these things were adding up to. Clearly, a higher intelligence was involved. This is not to say everyone must awaken the way I did. What is clear to me, because of my own experience, that at the base of awakening is an effort to break through a logjam of trapped energy to liberate or open a hole within us that will let the water of life stream in. First a trickle (for me), and growing stronger each day, each week, until my body was conditioned enough so the full rising event could come. A breaking through this logjam.

One of the events that took place in October of 2006 was a day-long acceleration of prana, which was a preview of what kundalini would bring. I had a vivid vision-a certainty in inner vision and through intensely felt feelings-about how all life feels prana or life force in the same way when it is felt abundantly (which is all kundalini really is—unusually high levels of pranic flow).

Getting ready to go home, this information nagged and pulled at me until I put it down on my computer starting at 7:30 pm and finishing at 7:34 pm (I had no idea why I should note the start and ending time but I did…now try and type what I typed in under four minutes).

This writing spoke of prana and how it was affecting both my body and mind. After writing this, I would find myself experiencing an odd synchronicity involving my finding the only magazine on a rack full of popular magazines whose content was uninteresting to me except one magazine I had to hunt for around a corner, blocked by a card rack placed in front of it. Without anything on its outside to suggest its contents, I would find that it had an article that read in bold: “When it comes to seeds, it’s all about sex.” Here is the piece I wrote to try and get that stuff out of my head, a first brush with a powerful burst of prana.


The Yearning

The fields are wet from rain after the corn has been harvested. Trees slowly turn from green to yellow, then gold. The air cools and the mind thinks back on days when life was brimming over and the air was thick with the smell of pollen. The same corn, now nothing but stubble, stood gold and green with tassels swaying with the breeze, releasing its sweet nutty smell. To some it was just a delightful thing that marks the passage of seasons. To me, its more than that. It speaks of life seeking its own, making itself over; a new generation. A yearning, a leaning toward the wind in the hopes that Nature will take care of Nature, and carry its life giving sweetness on the air to waiting seeds, waiting for that breath of life, that germ of passion that makes the flowers grow, and makes life turn ‘round once more in the endless cycles this world is known for.

Seeds and plants and pollen, all lean into passion in ways we can scarcely imagine. For this is the glue that keeps life going. For them, it must be pleasurable, a passionate act of giving, a release, an immersion into a mystery far older than our own known seasons, our own individual lives and experiences. For this is the gravity that pulls them, moves them to continue. How can it be any other? Why then would life seek to replace itself through an act as perfunctory as the dropping of an apple from a tree? No, the drop of the apple is not perfunctory, or a second thought, but part of a yearning to become, a part of merging with some larger dance. If trees can’t feel this, then why continue? Why go on? Perhaps in measures we can only guess or imagine, there is some divine spark of wantonness, of passion and pleasure bound up within their shells of being. How can it be any other? Perhaps there is a secret life these rooted beings feel that is beyond our ken, beyond our too quickened ways. We have been “beyond” these beings for so long that they are now “just plants.” And yet, they are more. They will speak if only you will listen, and they yearn to tell of this ancient dance, this incredible desire and passion bound up within every cell of their being, so it pays if you will only listen.

I know that seeds seek and yearn and hope and dream; dreams perhaps that are so different I could never scarcely imagine or see them for what they are. And yet, it seems inescapable that these creatures, ancient as all of life here, yearn for the touch of pollen upon their seed pods and enclosures, waiting patiently for the bee to carry their spawn beyond them into other regions where others await the touch of the life giving sparks that enliven and awaken a new generation. Even the warming caress of sun and drenching rain is an act of divine providence, or giving in a wheel that knows no end and no beginning. Quiet and still, these beings mask their greater inner lives.

So even we do these same things, even we make this dance of longing and yearning, so old and ancient that its root can escape us as we are caught up as if in some whirlwind, some deeper dance both of passion and letting go as we give ourselves to life’s great mystery, to its passionate embrace, and longing that brings us to this place, this wonder filled state where our minds and bodies and hearts are excited beyond the normal trebling that life gives or provides.
To touch my eye with your eye, to touch smile to smile, or hand to hand, we join in this ancient dance, this passionate longing for life seeking to complete itself, and in so doing, complete ourselves. Round and round we turn, like stars upon an endless wheel that rolls and ducks and sways in the lost night of time. We are carried one by the other, some by our imaginings, some by the reality, but always by the same glue that keeps life turning turning back and forward at once, calling to the roots of what it was to the heavens of what it will become.

So as our hands embrace, our smiles merge, as face becomes face, and eye becomes eye; as flesh becomes flesh, we excite in this dance, this subtle movement first tentative, then more certain as we are gathered by the compass of its certainty, of its need to move as it moves, which is ever forward into endless days and tomorrows.

We came here as boundless beings who knew neither limit nor touch, and followed down into narrow pathways into minds of earthlings, like spirits on a cosmic voyage, we entered the world of limit and pain and loneliness, only to be called back by forces that were brought to bear in this world, moving us through realms of limit and bounding to that greater reminder that this is a dance of mystery, passion, and love. In this love we touch the infinite, wrapped in that which pulls and grabs us like hawk talons grasping talons in a spiral dance of yearning, moving us one step beyond this one, seeking the divine, seeking the infinite. 10/13/06 – 7:30-7:34 p.m.

I have observed both in my own awakening as well as those of some others that the third eye has figured prominently in pre-awakeing experiences. I say “pre” as if it is somehow not connected. It is all connected.  Quickly, since my last post was so long, I will give you the short of it.

The awakening of kundalini is often presaged by a powerful third eye opening.  It can serve to open the gateways some and begins to draw energy from the depths.  More importantly, it stimulates an awareness of energy in the body, an awareness that has been incredibly dimmed from living in a world so dependent on physical sensory stimuli.  So in becoming more aware of one center, it can naturally lead to becoming more sensitive or aware of the others.  There is a lot about awakening that puts the emphasis on something emerging, but my experience is that this is backwards, actually.  It is something that is always there but we have been trained away from it.  It is like a lost language of our souls, a language of AWARENESS.  The “rising” of kundalini is the dropping of your dependence on the sensorial world and focusing more on the inner subtle world of your own energy body, which is part of your own birthright.  ALL of my experience in awakening is akin to learning to become aware of an inner sense that has gotten blotted out.  A new world begins to emerge and as this happens, what was subtle becomes more overt, identifiable, and as THAT happens, you WILL be filled with Gnosis, the intelligence that is IN the universe.  Doubtful?  You don’t have to take my word for it….

It is not uncommon for one center to affect another near it as well as others at the other end of it.  This is a dynamic energy system that is not closed but open to all others.  The effect can be that it draws energy up from the root as well as initiating a new or different flow of the energy in the light body, which is your eternal vehicle for being.  I do caution you to learn about kundalini first, to understand it before moving into awakening it.  If you have the opportunity to do work prior to awakening, this can be very beneficial since once kundalini begins, you are having to deal with the powerful scrutinizing energy of this force in you and this can put a lot of pressure on you initially. That is, if you had a choice.  I did not have that choice, although I was seeking to deal with some old issues which did have a part to play in waking the infinite in me.

First, it is important to understand that this is so simple that it seems like you are not doing anything.  At first.  K?  A light touch, seemingly nothing at first.  Inconsequential.  Can it be so simple as that?  This is a light knock at the door.  But it begins in just this way.

Focus your attention on the third eye.  Just put your attention there.  Close your eyes if you need to and place your inner vision at that point just between your eyebrows.  Lift the eyes upward slightly.  The Hindu tradition describes having the tongue on the roof of the mouth as if this completes a circuit.This might help, but honestly, I have never seen any benefit myself, but then I got kundalini without using it and perhaps it might be a posture that facilitates more than it initiates.  Maybe a small but important difference?    But placing attention on a center will build energy there.  Over days, weeks, the center will become conditioned by this energy of your own consciousness.  If it is ready, then it will respond.  If not, the threshold will be higher.

You do not need to think about anything.  Just keep your attention there.  This is very much a light touch, a lightness that entrains your attention on the kind of light touch that will be returned to you.  Your energy body will do the rest. You will feed energy into that chakra. Trust. If you feel as though the place on your head begins to activate, as though there is a slight bit of pressure on your forehead, this means that it is simply working in a powerful way. It may also be that you do not get results right away.  Put into it what you must put into it.  Everyone is different.

Realize that imagination is a powerful tool.  It is one reason why guided visualization is so useful and is so often used.  Energy will cohere to how you feel…..it is after all, what you are.  The quality of your feeling will also be the quality of your energy.  Simple.  So knowing this, if you imagine a rushing of your energy, it is possible that energy can begin to take on this trait after some time with it.  If you are blocked, then energy can be blocked unless you imagine these blocks softening and being broken up by some force, like water.  IN visualizing, or imagining, things will have a tendency to follow along with feeling.  Your energy is as you are in the moment, but the energy itself is in o way limited and so it can lead you to new ways of feeling and being if you learn to stop directing and begin following, which is the next leg or stage in all of this.  At least it was for me.  Energy, you see, is full of awareness, full of information and feeling.  Keep that in mind….

As you do this third eye focus, feel your whole body soften and become light.  If something feel blocked or hard, don’t get upset.  Just observe it and think “I think that can become unblocked easily just by letting the flow go into it” and consider that it could be a very easy thing, and if you do, chances are, it will be.

Breathing helps to move energy, it is one reason for an entire discipline dedicated just to breathing, called pranayam. Breathing is coincident with prana.  They both move together. Often just how you breath can help to soften your energy flow.  Let your breathing move from deep within your diaphragm and then up into the top of your lungs.  This will aid in the flow.  Taking breath that is slow and steady, almost hypnotic, which is very similar to your breathing when you begin to fall asleep is a very good way to breath.  It wil send your body all the signals that it should be relaxed.  This in turn will slow your mind down and relax your thoughts.  Body and mind will move together. Slow and steady and deep breaths are very good for this kind of work. However, make your breaths that feel most natural and relaxing to YOU because if a method does not feel natural to you, it will not help you reach a natural state.  Honor your own rhythm.  If you need a different rhythm later, your body and energy state will certainly tell you so and your breathing will naturally change as you seek to adjust it.  One very good method for calming down is to hold one nostril closed while breathing in several times (up to four) in and out deeply while changing to the other nostril in order to do the same breaths.  If you do this before settling in to focus on your third eye, this can help to relax you very quickly.  By putting your attention on your breath, it can help wash away any of the stray thoughts leaking in around the edges of your mind.  Before you know it, you will find yourself in a much more serene place.  Do the breathing for as long as you need to; we are all different and will different degrees of breathing for relaxation.

When the third eye begins to develop a sense of pressure in it, this is something fairly significant.  In awakening, my third eye developed a sense of pressure that expanded well beyond the third eye area as I had known it for years.  I had felt the third eye activate in the past as something about the size of a dime and it felt like someone had placed a dime on the spot….a sense of pressure-like awareness there.  In all the years of this happening, I can’t say any kind of phenomenon ever occurred that I could pin to the opening of the third eye.  I suspect it never reached its fuller opening.  Now here is where you simply let it seem like nothing.  You don’t have to figure out what to do next, except keep your attention on your third eye.  Keep putting your attention or focus on it.  Just that. In a number of cases something has happened when the third eye has opened, and it is quite interesting, almost alarming for how vivid it is, but for now, I will save you the details because if anyone does this, I would be interested in what people experience.

It is possible for the pressure to build so strong that it feels like someone is grasping your temples and squeezing.  That was what I thought was happening to me when all of this was happening.  I thought that this was someone in the ether who was pressing on my temples.  I did not feel alarmed, I just lay there and let it happen, figuring there was a reason for it. I did not seek to break the experience but went with it.  It often would just fade after a little while with no rhyme or reason.  It would then start up again the next  night, which was when I was most prone to these experiences.  Relaxed!  In one case, the pressure spread so far that it wrapped all the way around my head from front to back!  I felt these bands, actually, several, like three of them there.  I realized that the drawings in the Vedic literature of Shiva with those bands was the same exact thing I was feeling.  This was, I knew, the origin of what was called the Tilak, a colored band that is painted on the foreheads of saddhus or mendicant monks of the Hindu tradition.  This was a memory of the powerful third eye opening!  Did it make me feel mystical?  Deep?  Dreamy?  Nope.  Very much still me.  Pinch.  Yep; still all there.  Very much there.  The hint here is that this is a HUMAN thing, not something you get from the ascended beings from Mount Pramayana. I joke.  But I am allowed…..

So just let it all happen and pass.  If it does happen in this way, then it is all good.  This is the first stage in a possible awakening.  It is one piece of the puzzle.  It is not all of it, but if this works for you, then it can lead to other things.  I know that this is not the way kundalini always rises, though. Like I said in the title, it is a piece of the puzzle.  Your mileage may differ, of course!  However, I do know that the third eye may well be an important piece in the energy equation.  For some, awakening is direct ad moves right up the spine when ready.  Sometimes we can be jolted into awakening by others,  and sometimes people have had awakenings on the heels of a trying physical experience.  I have read of people waking up as the result of taking LSD, as a result of childbirth and also after an injury.  Perhaps it is the radical shift that unlocks the energy patterns enough for it to flow with your awareness shifted.  This may also be why anything that shifts awareness is outlawed.  Thankfully they cannot outlaw meditation.  Maybe put out articles saying how dangerous it can be…..and as for that one, I will let you decide.

Look both ways before crossing the street!

Nemasté.

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