Archives for posts with tag: ho’oponopono
Beach scene on Oahu Hawaii

Beach on Oahu

Have you ever been to a place, felt a shudder,or had an emotion move through you that made you feel as thought maybe there was something special about the place, or that maybe you had been there before? Have you ever found yourself reaching into that feeling and finding yourself tumbling down the rabbit hole? Have you had that deja vu moment, a sense you have been there before?

Waikiki, Hawai

I recently had an experience on the island of Maui that shook some of the things I thought I understood about myself and the origin of experiences I had as a very young boy. I wound up seeing things that I had seen in visions and out of body experiences some 50 years ago that were now on the island of Maui in the Hawaiian island chain. Was an old circle being completed?

I had gone to these islands as a result of an invitation from a friend who had a timeshare on the island. It was my birthday and my good friend wanted to help me celebrate. I had been planning on beginning to visit locations such as Hawaii in order to get photo documentation of fish for a sculpture project that has been in the works, possibly a new business, I have had in the works. I just didn’t think I would be able to go so soon.

While we were there, my friend suggested we go to the other islands. I had read about the snorkling in Maui and I knew I wanted to go there to film and photograph fish. When my friend mentioned Kaua’i I said that island felt too emotional for me, I didn’t know why. I went first to Maui after landing in Oahu.

It turned out that Kaua’i was the calm one and Maui was the emotional one. I hustled over to Maui to get the opportunity to shoot some fish and I was not ten miles from the airport when I began to get waves of emotion along with a growing perception of a man, another version of me, who had lived there some time in the past.

In what wound up being a very quick and efficient clearing of past material within me, I found myself cleansing not only a past life but my life as well of the particular quality of stuck energy that this self had in him. And boy was this guy stuck! He was like a rock. He must have been in some leadership role because of how monolithic he felt. Maybe not, but goodness sakes, he sure did dig a hole for himself!

Years before this experience the same friend who invited me here had been telling me about Ho’oponopono. This is a pretty amazing healing modality based on the concept of radical forgiveness of self by asking forgiveness from the universe while knowing simultaneously that we make up a part of the universe energetically and physically. I had not been able to use this method in all the years of having known about it, though. I sensed I just wasn’t there yet with Ho’oponopono. I knew I had to be in the right “space” in order to be in the grace necessary for it to work for me.

This was the breakthrough moment for me. I already was aware of a life as a Polynesian a number of years ago, I just…..couldn’t connect into Ho’oponopono like I felt like I should. I needed this moment to reach that place. So much of this isn’t mental, rational, head or book learning. It is more about a capacity to feel, to include, to encompass, to wake up to. It sounds grandiose, it really isn’t. This isn’t a problem we solve, it is something we let go in order to feel or focus on what lies hidden behind the stuff we are dropping or letting go. Big difference.

As I drove, I was being coaxed to do something. I was feeling this aspect of myself, unsure if it was me or a past self, or a bit of both, being pulked into something. I don’t always know what is about to happen, so I go into witness mode and observe. As I felt this personality my inner guidance kicked in. It said,

You are the doctor. You chose this time to heal all the other parts of you. You can do this now by filling this man with what you have. Help him, help yourself.

That was what it was telling me. I felt how closed he was. I felt him lying on the beach at night in the firelight, listening to the waves, and watching the flickering firelight and feeling like shit. He was so stuck. I had a little “Wait…what?” happening. Do you know what I mean?

Okay, here is a little more of my thought process, ” You are lying in a hammock under the stars, listening to the waves on the sexiest beach on earth, the fire feels fantastic, and you are feeling like shit?! Are you kidding me?”

That boi. He must have been raised the wrong way. Maybe he raised himself the wrong way. Maybe he felt a man has to be hard, strong, unmovable, unemotional, ya think? Basically these are all the things we teach boys to do that we later decry as “toxic masculinity.” Is it any wonder?? Poor guy. Living in paradise and suffering in hell.

So he had no way out. I, however, had a way in, and I was NOT stuck at all, not in the way he was. Okay, I could feel his stuckness in me, but I had enough mobility to slip into his moment there on the beach. I hated how he felt, but boy did I enjoy lying there with him next to that fire listening to those waves! Okay, about three seconds worth, but I had to soak that in! Time to work, to invoke an extra juicy form of grace…

I could feel something in me sinking down into him. Me, sinking into another version of me. I was like a germ that his spiritual immune system had no defense for. In this case, what I am doing is “infecting” his pride and rigidity emotionally. I was able to feel the fluidity, the forgiveness, the softer more mobile form of consciousness and adapted it to him. I infected him with me. I could do this because he was another me.

“Wait. You said this was about forgiveness! Right? This doesn’t sound like forgiveness, not really.”

If you have felt what happens during a radical form of self-forgiveness, you might have caught how forgiveness involves a giving, which is much like giving something away which then leaves an empty space where something else can then fill it, something from the true foundation of you, that kind of substratum where the soul is accessible. In this case, what fills the empty space is a ressonant field that is at once your awareness and the energy of the universe. The hard feeling is given up as this healing feeling is given on my end to the man on that island. A pure moment of being able to feel, and in feeling just a bit more, that sense just obliterates that stuckness. What an angry kind of guy. He’d be a 60’s biker in So Cal and he’d be no one to mess with. So fuck that, right? I’m pretty sure all the yogi’s and yogini’s secretly want to say that very thing, but aren’t allowed to because, well….fuck.


I am driving on my way to a special bay known for turtles. As I drove, tears in my eyes, I feel like I really want to clear this spot out as much as I can. I realize that as this is all happening, I am sinking myself into that same space necessary for me to “get” Ho’oponopono. Yes, there is this deep humility and reverence needed for me. I need that reverence, I don’t know about anyone else. I realize that the way to create the circuitry necessary for this to work in my own consciousness, I seem to need reverence. In that moment I could feel my mind reaching out into that vibrant field that is the All and it was responding. “I am sorry. Forgive me. I love you. Thank-you!” I just hadn’t been able to do Ho’oponopono before, not effectively. Not until this very moment. The capacity filled me, bloomed, or emerged in me at that moment. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, or by what route, only that it did. Something clicked, which is how all of these hundreds of healings have happened over the last decade and some change…

All of this went so quickly, so smoothly. I think that is how these events go for me, so quick, so efficient. I make a turn in mind and it is like the ju-ju grabs hold. I really mean it. I think it is a hallmark of the higher self being given space to work. This only seems to work, for me, through surrendering my control. Then, as those parts of the brain are shut down, nonlocal consciousness can step forward. Thank-you small self for letting in the larger.

The juju was starting as I was boarding the plane to go over from Oahu before I had even departed to go to Maui. I kept seeing these Polynesians in the airport. I hadn’t sern them like this before. They only spoke Hawaiian. They were older, people who looked like I looked in that lifetime, except I hadn’t had the experience yet. It is easy to second-guess myself in this moments. Maybe I was just taking the visual material around me and crrtating a fanciful narrative. Thing is, it is always the other way around. I am seeing these things because an event of importance is about to take place. How I felt. Maybe not so stuck. I kept running into them, hearing their soft language slipping into that place within me that has that powerfully charged sense, the emotion, like where volcanos always start, in a blistering moment that leads to creation. Strong raw creative. Better be careful. Respect that force in nature, maybe in you, too.

The energy I am moving clears out that spot in the man. This feels like a warp in time. Did I just go back in time and fix this guy? It feels and looks like a warp. Did I create a new time line? Or, by intervening, did I alter his own actions in his own timeline. If that is so, I did what time travelers aren’t supposed to do without generation new timelines or time branches. Changing his line alters mine and it by extension altered his physical line in an ancestral way. His great great great grandchildren are different now, but in a small way. A small burden is lifted, however inconsequential. Ripples spread outward. I have waited my whole life for this moment to arrive at this time. I catalyze it by being ready for it. Only then do I have the means to reach back through time. Let me emphasize, this is fundamentally different from most every release or cleansing that has taken place thus far.

I feel like I sank into him by way of using this location, Maui, as the means of connecting in to this man’s life. As this began to happen, I could feel him feeling me moving into him. It felt like a moment of inspiration where something of himself, maybe a more developed self, a future self, was present and was there with a heart full of love-no judgment at all. Here is that liberation you were looking for my brother…

The fire crackled, the waves crashed in the moonlight, and his eyes filled with tears as this simple thing happened. With no effort on his part, this burdened mind softens, shifts, and is relieved. No rituals, no method, no bullshit.

He looks up into the night sky and he says something, a thank you to ancestors or a god or goddess. I don’t know. What I do get is his intent. I understand that about as clearly as a maidenst knowing smile.

Copyright, the author

I was still only halfway to my first stop. I relaxed and sank into the trip. Once I reach the first bay, surrounded by black volcanic rock, I see almost no fish, but lots of really nice coral. For over an hour, things were kind of….meh. I began to make my way back when I get up in shallow water near the rocks and suddenly come across a moray eel, it feels like a sign. I get on the rocks, and as I sit there a turtle comes right up to me. Very well; I will follow you, miss turtle. I get some pretty good photos. I head to shore and while standing in thigh-deep water a turtle comes right next to me. So I just follow along and am able to get a series of excellent photos for my work. Right after, it begins to rain. Perfect. Everything on this day trip is happening like clock work. I feel this voice that says what to do next. It is halfway my wish mixed with this “Okay, you need to move on to the next step for the next event to happen.” If I had gone too quickly or too slowly the things that happened would not have happened as they did. That is, the last part, which is what makes this post so long.

Photo Copyright, Author

It is lunch and I drive to the next location. Again, great snorkling, and I am able to get scores of excellent photos of fish for the project. I think how nice it would be to be on the island and make work for galleries on the islands. How nice would that be, right? Everything is beautiful, and everyone just seems to be enjoying themselves so much.

And Then Things Get A Little Weird…

Once I am done, I realize I need to get on the road so I can make my flight back to Oahu. I am going to go back in a direction I hadn’t been through before. As I drive, I am going out into the most rural parts of the island. I come across these cliffs that look so similar to cliffs I had seen in an out of body experience as a child. The color of the earth was surprisingly similar to the cliffs I saw as a child. It is looking like a match. It’s been 50 years but the color of those cliffs in my experience as a child look for the life of me to be right here along the road on Maui. These were the cliffs I saw over and over in my oobe as a child.

I feel a little nuts, questioning whether this is a thing or not. “It’s just really similar” says that part of me. But I know if its for real, synchonicity will squash that part of me, leaving no doubt. The thing to appreciate is I hadn’t seen a cliff face that looked like that cliff face from my childhood until this moment. Not only this, but the cliff face could have been completely missed had it not been for the rain which caused me to go a different way. I couldn’t see these cliffs headed in the direction I was going originally. I had to turn around to see them.

I keep driving and wind up on a single-lane road. It is raining harder and harder. I get to a bridge that has close to two feet of water rushing over it. I turn around and go back after I stop and walk across the bridge to test depth and flow speed. Yep, no safe way to cross, not in that little car of mine. But here is the weird part: only by going back in the other direction do I see a cliff face that is eerily identical to what I saw as a child. Only by going in the opposite direction. By doubling back, I was concerned about making my flight on time. I do make my flight and I get to my gate just as boarding began.

So what is the deal with this early childhood experience?

I have written about this before.

At the age of about four, I began having a series of identical experiences that would take place while I was awake. I might be outside playing and I would get this feeling that would come over me. I would feel incredibly heavy but incredibly light all at the same time. I realized my body felt incredibly dense as a new awareness cane on line and….cleaved itself from my body. I later learned that I was experiencing sleep paralysis except I wasn’t asleep.

I would go to this location that for the life of me looked like a giant cliff face. This cliff face had these striations in it that put my young mind in mind of pot roast. Yes, funny, I know, but this cliff face didn’t look like anything I had seen before. I had nothing to compare it to. It was this deep iron red. It looked like flesh. I thought of it as part of the flesh world. The carnal (meat) world.

At the same time, I also would see these forms which looked a lot like dandelion fluff floating down from the top of the cliff face. They would float downward, all so very much like Mary Poppins. I understood I was witnessing the souls of people who were going into the bodies of babies. Just floating down into matter, into our world.

I knew that souls entered bodies like this. It wasn’t a big mystery. It wouldn’t be until several years later that anyone would say anything to me remotely similar about spirit in flesh. These episodes would just happen. Each one was the same. I had a handful of them before the phenomenon stopped, emerging years later as real dreams in another level of consciousness, helping people who had died to cross over completely to that nonphysical world, effectively returning from whence they came. In a way, I guess I got to see both sides of the cycle complete. Here I am, all these years later having spent the better part of my time here now thinking about the next big adventure that is beyond this one life.

What’s next is the interesting bit. I am telling my friend about all of this and she explains to me that in the Polynesian mythos there are locations on the island where this very thing actually happens, and it happens from the top of a mountain where souls come down into our reality, our world. The story sounds like a creation story. But inside of it lies the shadow, too. Well now, given what took place on Maui as well as Oahu and Kaua’i, I am finding myself reconfiguring my past a bit to allow for the possibility that this idea has its origins in that other life. Was I experiencing the living myth of creation using my knowledge about the Polynesian tradition as a frame for that OOBE?

I had always thought that my “location” was a nonphysical one, more like a visionary image. Instead, through a series of unlikely events, it appears as if I am being confronted with this that is connecting me to those islands by way of an actual location that looks exactly like the location in my OOBE from 50 years prior. In addition, I find myself in an encounter with a self from the past needing help from me, something that has at the same time made instant change in me as well.

Turtle on Maui, photo by the author

I think what I want to get across with this experience is to follow your instincts. I was going to go to Kaua’i first, but I kept going back to Maui in my mind. I ultimately went alone to the island, something that probably opened the door for these events to happen just as they did. With additional people, we could have wound up somewhere else, or I may not have been quiet enough inwardly to feel this building pressure inside. I might have pushed it away or tried to ignore it.

Sometimes when things seem like they are going wrong, it may mean they are just getting underway the right way. By holding a state of surrender, it is easier to reach the state necessary for processing these things with awareness. I say all of this to show you what can he done, to take heart, to turn your own corner over and over. It gets better and better, I promise.

So that is the crazy long story, a caution for others that you too might have one of these waiting for you. The result I notive most is my root energy feels strongee. My creative energy is flowing very strongly as my sexual eneegy has also increased. What is interesting is how this isn’t leading to any obsession or overt attachment. Being a tantric at heart, I don’t see these things as a problem, only how we respond or relate to what is. That is my postmortem on the experience. If you have thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Mahalo!

~Parker

What is in me is seen in the world.  What brings suffering in me is mirrored in the world.  My world is like a thousand refracted rainbows all based on a bending of the light.  Sometimes the light gets bent too far…..but I see this bending in the world around me…this light that is bent in me. The path to healing becomes a path of self honesty that there is nothing before me that does not first originate within.  As much as I try to make deals with it, the truth of it faces me each moment.  There is a way to heal it.  It takes honesty.  Humility.  I am not the most humble person, so there is often struggle.

Ho’oponopono recognizes this reality, that what we see before us in our day-to-day is a reflection that is within us.  Each moment is colored by it.  We attract perfectly what we are.  If you do not like something “out there” look within for the answer.  It sounds magical, but it is the way.

Ho’oponopono is a healing modality or Hawaiian origin that recognizes that the way to healing is by healing first what is within us.  When we do this, it provides a path for healing what we ourselves have attracted. Shift yourself, you shift the world.  It has a powerful leveraging effect.  It is also the essence of a compassionate path whereby what you heal in yourself will be healed in others.

The practice is simple.  You pray to the universe.  You think of the problem before you in your awareness and you hold it there while you pray to the universe saying

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

Ho’oponopono is a method for atonement, for helping to heal and erase the error and cause of hurt in our lives.  By being able to touch upon the grace available to us, that can be in us, we can begin to free ourselves and others from the things that have troubled us and that cause trouble for us.

To understand the power that this simple method has for you, I  direct you to a video that I think you will find very interesting.  After that, perhaps you will find a way to include this in your tool-box of tools for healing.  It is an interesting video of a practitioner of Ho’oponopono who has a great story to help illustrate how this can work in your life.

One very effective way of learning to deal with what is out in the world is first becoming aware that what you are being attracted to is something unresolved in you at some level.  People who have awakenings speak of how they can feel what others feel.  True, but look deeper though at what it is that you are picking up on.  In every instance, you will find that you are making a choice in what you are picking up on. If you are like me, you might come to the realization that you aren’t picking up on EVERYONE’s energy, just certain people.  Why some and not others?  There is a reason for this, and it is rooted in where you are and what you are feeling, even when you are not entirely aware of what these things are.  They are still inside of you and they help to paint a portrait of your life in a way that might be difficult to face sometimes, but is perfect for how accurate it can be.  It is in learning what the point is of connect within you that can lead you to resolving the issue that is at hand.  And maybe you find that you, say, keep running into people who have trouble with anger and this is very troubling to you because you find it so unsettling.  You aren’t an angry person, no, but there is an issue that is not completely resolved and the universe is serving as a perfect mirror for you.  Time to dig deep on this one!   For example, I had someone not long ago who was having trouble being in public because he was feeling everyone’s energy. In truth, he was sensing certain kinds of energy, and this was all itself a mirror of where he was.   I explained to him how an experience I had helped me break the cycle of feeling as though I was wide open to others thoughts and feelings.

Up to that point I would walk down the street and be overcome with incredible pain coming from people I would pass in public.  At first I thought this was because I was more sensitive, that I was picking up on everything.  true, yes, but there was something more that bears pointing out, since it is a finer point in all of this and can help a good deal when dealing with these things at least initially, which is that I was not picking up on everyone’s thoughts.  I was in truth picking up on those thoughts that held a vibration that had something in common with me.  A specific example and break-through for me was when I was attending a party with family where there were at least a dozen people in attendance.  I began to feel very anxious during a certain part of the party and as I felt this wave of anxiety wash over me, I found myself stopping for a moment and questioning why it was I was feeling this all of a sudden.  There was no good reason why I should be feeling this sudden wave of anxiety.  So I asked myself was this mine?  The answer was a quick “no.”  So I then asked myself “where is this coming from?”  The energy pointed me immediately in the direction of a man sitting quietly talking to my Mother who was over to the side, kind of out-of-the-way of things.  I looked at him and asked him point-blank, “Do you have problems with anxiety?”  He kind of sunk into his chair for a moment.  the look on his face was the same look that a kid gets when they realize they have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.  But looking at me for a moment, he seemed to realize I was not asking this in a mean way, and that I did not mean anything by it.  I was just being direct.  He then softened, and explained that he had actually had a lifelong problem with anxiety and had gone to numerous therapists for it and took medications over the years because of it.  I listened as he spoke and as he did, I felt the feeling of anxiety melt away.

After that experience, I no longer felt others’ energy like I had before in that same sort of way.  I was not seized with a pain in my heart chakra after passing some man on the street, or feel a sense of tightness in the shoulders when I was talking to the receptionist over the phone.  I suspect, or feel, that the very act of identifying these things in the way that I did had the effect of helping me to identify between my own feelings and those of others in a more clarified way so that I was no longer processing things that were not entirely mine.  What it did do also was to point out why I would feel something from another person, which was that there was some aspect of it that was also in me.  I also think, though, that this mirroring still continues in our lives, just in a different way. Maybe you see them in the customers you deal with, or the clients that come through to your workplace, or the kind of people you work with.  The interesting thing is that often, when I do this work, I see a change in the other person.  I have seen some big changes taking place in my family, for example, that has led to some very healing results and some marvelous results for these people in my life.

I have seen that as I clear things up in me the type of people I encounter on a day-to-day basis has also changed.  The power of the Law of Attraction, which is that like energy attracts like energy, is at play.  It is just how the universe is.  this is not some kind of game, it is just how things work.  By being aware of this I can look at the world and the people around me to get a good view of what I might want to heal in the next go-round of work on my roster. Layer by layer, new material is revealed, I become more aware or sensitive to layers I had not felt before, and the work continues.  It is what I call spiritual archeology.  This is a digging down, revealing and healing old baggage that has been buried down there for ages.  The force of kundalini, which is itself a creative force, has a magnificent ability to heal these knots of cords that we have built up within us.

So try it on for a bit and see how it works for you if you are so bold.  And also try Ho’oponopono.

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