Archives for posts with tag: healing blocks

I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting ot figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting to figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work.  And I didn’t. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

What is in me is seen in the world.  What brings suffering in me is mirrored in the world.  My world is like a thousand refracted rainbows all based on a bending of the light.  Sometimes the light gets bent too far…..but I see this bending in the world around me…this light that is bent in me. The path to healing becomes a path of self honesty that there is nothing before me that does not first originate within.  As much as I try to make deals with it, the truth of it faces me each moment.  There is a way to heal it.  It takes honesty.  Humility.  I am not the most humble person, so there is often struggle.

Ho’oponopono recognizes this reality, that what we see before us in our day-to-day is a reflection that is within us.  Each moment is colored by it.  We attract perfectly what we are.  If you do not like something “out there” look within for the answer.  It sounds magical, but it is the way.

Ho’oponopono is a healing modality or Hawaiian origin that recognizes that the way to healing is by healing first what is within us.  When we do this, it provides a path for healing what we ourselves have attracted. Shift yourself, you shift the world.  It has a powerful leveraging effect.  It is also the essence of a compassionate path whereby what you heal in yourself will be healed in others.

The practice is simple.  You pray to the universe.  You think of the problem before you in your awareness and you hold it there while you pray to the universe saying

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

Ho’oponopono is a method for atonement, for helping to heal and erase the error and cause of hurt in our lives.  By being able to touch upon the grace available to us, that can be in us, we can begin to free ourselves and others from the things that have troubled us and that cause trouble for us.

To understand the power that this simple method has for you, I  direct you to a video that I think you will find very interesting.  After that, perhaps you will find a way to include this in your tool-box of tools for healing.  It is an interesting video of a practitioner of Ho’oponopono who has a great story to help illustrate how this can work in your life.

One very effective way of learning to deal with what is out in the world is first becoming aware that what you are being attracted to is something unresolved in you at some level.  People who have awakenings speak of how they can feel what others feel.  True, but look deeper though at what it is that you are picking up on.  In every instance, you will find that you are making a choice in what you are picking up on. If you are like me, you might come to the realization that you aren’t picking up on EVERYONE’s energy, just certain people.  Why some and not others?  There is a reason for this, and it is rooted in where you are and what you are feeling, even when you are not entirely aware of what these things are.  They are still inside of you and they help to paint a portrait of your life in a way that might be difficult to face sometimes, but is perfect for how accurate it can be.  It is in learning what the point is of connect within you that can lead you to resolving the issue that is at hand.  And maybe you find that you, say, keep running into people who have trouble with anger and this is very troubling to you because you find it so unsettling.  You aren’t an angry person, no, but there is an issue that is not completely resolved and the universe is serving as a perfect mirror for you.  Time to dig deep on this one!   For example, I had someone not long ago who was having trouble being in public because he was feeling everyone’s energy. In truth, he was sensing certain kinds of energy, and this was all itself a mirror of where he was.   I explained to him how an experience I had helped me break the cycle of feeling as though I was wide open to others thoughts and feelings.

Up to that point I would walk down the street and be overcome with incredible pain coming from people I would pass in public.  At first I thought this was because I was more sensitive, that I was picking up on everything.  true, yes, but there was something more that bears pointing out, since it is a finer point in all of this and can help a good deal when dealing with these things at least initially, which is that I was not picking up on everyone’s thoughts.  I was in truth picking up on those thoughts that held a vibration that had something in common with me.  A specific example and break-through for me was when I was attending a party with family where there were at least a dozen people in attendance.  I began to feel very anxious during a certain part of the party and as I felt this wave of anxiety wash over me, I found myself stopping for a moment and questioning why it was I was feeling this all of a sudden.  There was no good reason why I should be feeling this sudden wave of anxiety.  So I asked myself was this mine?  The answer was a quick “no.”  So I then asked myself “where is this coming from?”  The energy pointed me immediately in the direction of a man sitting quietly talking to my Mother who was over to the side, kind of out-of-the-way of things.  I looked at him and asked him point-blank, “Do you have problems with anxiety?”  He kind of sunk into his chair for a moment.  the look on his face was the same look that a kid gets when they realize they have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.  But looking at me for a moment, he seemed to realize I was not asking this in a mean way, and that I did not mean anything by it.  I was just being direct.  He then softened, and explained that he had actually had a lifelong problem with anxiety and had gone to numerous therapists for it and took medications over the years because of it.  I listened as he spoke and as he did, I felt the feeling of anxiety melt away.

After that experience, I no longer felt others’ energy like I had before in that same sort of way.  I was not seized with a pain in my heart chakra after passing some man on the street, or feel a sense of tightness in the shoulders when I was talking to the receptionist over the phone.  I suspect, or feel, that the very act of identifying these things in the way that I did had the effect of helping me to identify between my own feelings and those of others in a more clarified way so that I was no longer processing things that were not entirely mine.  What it did do also was to point out why I would feel something from another person, which was that there was some aspect of it that was also in me.  I also think, though, that this mirroring still continues in our lives, just in a different way. Maybe you see them in the customers you deal with, or the clients that come through to your workplace, or the kind of people you work with.  The interesting thing is that often, when I do this work, I see a change in the other person.  I have seen some big changes taking place in my family, for example, that has led to some very healing results and some marvelous results for these people in my life.

I have seen that as I clear things up in me the type of people I encounter on a day-to-day basis has also changed.  The power of the Law of Attraction, which is that like energy attracts like energy, is at play.  It is just how the universe is.  this is not some kind of game, it is just how things work.  By being aware of this I can look at the world and the people around me to get a good view of what I might want to heal in the next go-round of work on my roster. Layer by layer, new material is revealed, I become more aware or sensitive to layers I had not felt before, and the work continues.  It is what I call spiritual archeology.  This is a digging down, revealing and healing old baggage that has been buried down there for ages.  The force of kundalini, which is itself a creative force, has a magnificent ability to heal these knots of cords that we have built up within us.

So try it on for a bit and see how it works for you if you are so bold.  And also try Ho’oponopono.

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Someone recently wrote to me and described a harrowing process he is going through in awakening.  No doubt, he is caught in this tight vice of an experience and is having trouble getting to the other side of it.  And yet, the process he is locked in is what kundalini does to us.  It rewires us, remakes us. It really does. Its easy for me to forget what it was like before awakening. Its getting easy now for me to forget what it was like that first year when I felt awakening stirring in me. It was so obvious how I had changed.  I write in my book, which is based on many journal entries during the awakening that it was as though I woke up one day speaking a different language.  From another planet. Just like that.  Boom.  Transformation underway.  Bye-bye Kansas!  But what my friend helped to remind me about is how we can get caught up in others’ feelings without realizing its them that we are feeling.

There is a curious capacity we develop when we awaken which is the ability to feel a person’s emotions and feelings so strongly that they feel like they are our own.  It is disorienting sometimes to have this happen, but the key to coping with this part of the experience is with awareness. Having the ability to stop and ask yourself a few simple questions is all that you will need to begin to discern between what is truly yours and what is someone else’s. Or perhaps, your engagement with another’s energy whether conscious or not….

People whom I know who have had this happen to them, most often speak of it as though it is now what they must do, that they are now suddenly more empathic.  But this is not correct.  It isn’t. If you are feeling others’ feelings around you, I want you to try an experiment in awareness and next time it happens, I want you to stop for a moment and ask yourself if you are feeling EVERYONE’S energy in that moment or if it is just one or two people in the room or the place where this is happening.  I have spoken with people who have observed decades worth of experience who have had the ability to really question as well as observe what has been happening to them and what I have found is that we attract what we are at the time.  For example, I know a therapist who has noticed that the issues she has in regards to ghosts, she will have clients coming to her in large numbers who will have similar issues.  Another person who has a major glitch from his past finds that he keeps attracting people in his work that has the exact same issue that he is still dealing with in his life from childhood.  I do the same thing and have attracted people into my life who have similar traits to people I have never gotten over.  What is interesting is when you clear the issues, and I mean really clear them, the ties can release from these people.  It is also possible that you both reach a place of healing and begin a new chapter in each of your lives (in the case of close connections in personal and intimate relationships).

You see, the experience of feeling this is so powerful and often overwhelming that it distracts us from what is actually happening, which is that we aren’t feeling EVERYONE, we are just feeling certain people.  And there is a reason for this, and it goes straight to the work that kundalini does in us, that is, if you are ready for this level of awareness to come into your experience.  What I am talking about is that in every case, we feel another early on in the kundalini process because we share something in common with them.  We are harmonized along a specific range of experience or karma.  Our energy is the same, but most often, it is about the things that remain in us that (we hope) kundalini will help to purify or release in us.  I actually had a family friend react incredibly harshly to my suggestion that she wasn’t just channeling everyone she was around as she thought she was, but that she was in fact, in each moment, channeling those people’s energy who shared something in common with her on an energy and karmic level.  When I felt her begin to pull on me energetically and I remained unmoved, she quickly got angry and shut me out in a pretty stark and hard manner.

I discuss this here because I went through the exact same thing and I now know, I was not channeling everyone in the room.  I was channeling one person only.  It was when I identified this fact that I was able to take this experience from being one where I had no control to one where I did have control or a choice.  Not only that, but after my decisive experience with examining what was at work and being honest with myself, I not longer was “captured’ by the experience like this again.  This was an experience that was different from that of the karmically joined “twin” experience, whatever you choose to call it (twin flame, twin soul, etc.) which can have a more enduring aspect and appears to also be karmic but with a sense of mission and self-work involved where feeling others randomly in public can be just…weird or off-putting.

In awakening you go through a whole range of new sensory experiences.  If you think that it’s all in your head, you will need to realize that this is simply not so.  It IS in your head, but it’s also in all things.  And the power that is now alive in your head now has the capacity to move the power latent in all things….which is to say that by connecting into the energy in all things you can more effectively get things done that need doing. this is a radically different approach to anything most people know about.  It touches on the idea of manifesting but it’s also different in how immediate and strong that it is.

Jesus, the so-called Gnostic Jesus, described this phenomenon.  He said that “once you are destroyed [ego death], when you say mountain move, it will move.” [Gospel of Phillip]  These are the siddhis or abilities/powers written about in the old Vedic texts that come about as a result of spiritual development or awakening (siddhis are one symptom of awakening).  It is also what many say should be ignored, lest they seduce you.  Well, yes, you do need to be careful with this stuff, but if you can approach it all with the innocence of a child, you can direct this power in the same way you direct an arm or your voice in order to get what you want or need.  I suppose that some feel its wrong or bad because it is an unfair advantage, but really all it is, is what you gain when you finally grow up, go through this spiritual puberty we call awakening.  Thus, everyone can inherit it. It is an ability that is of a higher order, and so with this power comes great responsibility, most certainly.  I have always asked for what I needed the most and most often in the eleventh hour.

One of the experiences is how you can feel others around you, near you emotionally, or who are connected to you spiritually, or people who are complete strangers who happen to mirror something in you.  Some of these senses are so strong that the experience is that you are yourself experiencing something as though it was your own when in fact it is from someone else.  Let me explain that for a time I would pass people on the street and I would feel their buried sense of sadness, broken-hearted feeling, their depression, their sorrow, their anxiety.  I would walk by someone on the street and I would double over from the heart pain.  Why?  Because I was more sensitive.  I was a vibrating tuning fork.  There was also another reason why I was feeling some things over others; I was not yet finished with something that was present also in these people. So for example, a man who had been injured by his spouse in his heart I would feel because he and I had the same pain in us.  I didn’t JUST feel EVERYONE.  I felt certain people. There was a rhyme and reason.  It was about mirroring. Why hadn’t I felt the lady who was walking down the street with her kids, why hadn’t I felt the old man who was walking with his wife?  Why hadn’t I felt the college student’s energy?  I had to realize I was not feeling EVERYONE.  Just certain people.  Sure, I may have had the potential to feel or read everyone the same way I read auras, but I would not ever read or feel them as deeply or as closely as what this kundalini conferred.  The events in our lives are no accidents. They follow an inner directive from us.  And if that seems impossible to you, consider that I have watched and observed this and have seen so many correlations with this that I can no longer dismiss it.  This is not a need for me to dwell in magical thinking.  It is a realization that either the world is chaos rendered into order by way of natural forces and its all just chemistry and nothing else, or everything is here because of consciousness and that everything IS consciousness.  This would be on par with what some have called this world; A Dream. It also suggests that consciousness is engaged in our physics and our world in helping to bring about certain events in our lives.  Accidental or miracle?

So it came to pass that I was at a dinner party. As I was talking with some new people I had met I began to be seized by a feeling of desperate anxiety.  I have been anxious before like this in the past.  I knew what that felt like.  It felt entirely as though it were my own.  I was feeling an energy within my own cocoon of awareness, within my own etheric sheath or auric field. It was mine, no?  Something in me said that maybe this wasn’t mine.  I thought about it.  It made no sense that it would be mine.  For one, there was no reason why I should be feeling so incredibly anxious. None. So I let my reasoning mind take some rope and try to lasso this thing some.  This is one instance where the rational does well!  So  I sat there and took stock of myself. Instead of JUST reacting.   If this wasn’t mine, then whose was it?  I asked the energy in me to show me the way.  And by golly, it did.  In a room with about seven people, the energy in me pointed me toward a man who was sitting in a chair off to the side.  He had been talking to my mother and he wasn’t someone I knew.  I decided to just be bold and speak to the man about this.

“Excuse me, but do you have a problem with feeling anxiety?”  The man pulled back in his chair, like a turtle pulling in its head. He was entirely taken off guard by my very forward question.  He had stiffened.  But as I looked at him, it was clear that I did not mean it in a hard or mean way.  I was more like a kid.  His face softened and he replied, “Well, yes, I have had some issues with anxiety.”  We both paused for a moment and he looked at me, something clearly on his mind.  He added, “In fact, I have had so much of a problem with anxiety that I have gone to therapy for it and have taken medication.”  He stopped for a third time and did the same thing; he looked at me like he was pondering something else and he said the magic words: “In fact, I was feeling very anxious the moment that you asked me about it!”  I smiled and thanked him.  I explained that I seemed to be picking up on stuff like this for some reason.  This interaction was the first case where I began the process of discerning between what was mine and what was others’ feelings.

After that incidence, the tendency to feel people like this waned somewhat. Part of it was that I tended to limit my focus more.  For some reason I had to be as open as a parking lot I think in order to begin a process of clearing, which began in earnest around that time.  As I Have cleared these old blocks, the things that I have mirrored or attracted have also changed substantially.  I once had students that were of a certain character and they have, largely, changed.  My behavior has also changed.  This results in a different kind of day and life for me. It’s an incremental process, this, but worth it because what it does is it gives me an energetic vehicle that I am in command of instead of being in command of a mass of karmic blocks and knots in my energy field….serving to distort the energy coming into me and also distorting the events that get manifested because of all those competing knots that send out bits of competing code signals to the universe.  They are me, but they are parts of me I wish I was not….but that I have not fully released.

When people say things like “She is haunted by her demons” you can know now that they are old blocks that are doing it.  These blocks act like subroutines in your psyche causing you to behave in ways you really wish you hadn’t.  Some people are entirely governed by these things. In the Gospel of Philip in the Nag Hammadi, this is what Philip describes as being the evil that must be pulled out entirely by the roots if it is to be freed from our being. It is also said in the same gospel that It is [the evil] that keeps us from doing what we want to do and it makes us do what we do not want to do. Substitute “evil” for karma, and I think you can begin to understand not just the root of evil, but also how to remove it. which requires going deep down into the very source of it.  “You say I have to go deep within myself to root this all out, but how do I do this?”  Everyone wants a method, right?  Everyone wants a way to just do it, maybe an incantation or something.  In everything I say here on this blog, it is the same; learn to feel deeply within yourself.  When you can feel deeply, you have actually begun to activate your inner sensory awareness.  Got that?  You need this awareness and you will find that the deeper you go inside of yourself, the more this sensory awareness will open up.  It is in truth, the axiom that the Greeks used to say in the temples: “Know thyself.”

You may not believe it, but once you learn how to look beyond the curtain of your own denied emotion, you will be given power over all your demons (or you will gain this to the degree that you are able to face which means that once the door is open, it is open and you don’t go back where you came from but you may only have incremental releases until it completes itself…it being a matter of time but the point being that it does not happen all at once, it can also happen incrementally).  Until you are able to adopt this childlike sense, you will be tempted by them.  Until you are the master and no longer the slave.   If you want to know about releasing blocks from your own field, I suggest you search this blog using those terms.  A lot has been written about it here. It is, in every case, based in learning how to feel deeply.  The reason why this is so important is because the deeper you can feel, the more aware you are of the occulted or hidden emotion that has been shoved down.  It is this emotion that forms the basis of so much of our karma, our difficulty in relationships, as well as our reactions an even our personal (non-religious) belief systems. With something that has such widespread influence over you, you would think that people would want to get a better handle on it, right?  One of the hardest things that we as humans do, is to be honest about those things that we have shoved down and do not want to face.  Carl Jung once famously said in effect that the self will run from facing the source of its own pain and resist changing it at the same time.  In this way, so many people become like graveyards for their cast-offs.  Search this blog using “healing blocks” and you will get many posts on this topic, from exercises that can help release stored material (like TRE for example) to ways to meditate using breathwork as the entry into the field.

kundlini2I have been going to have reiki treatments recently to assist with some clearing in my chakras, and my energy field in general.  There is a lot of talk about chakra clearing and chakra meditation.  It is useful to know, though, that your whole body is a vast network of criss-crossing energy lines that go all the way down to the atomic level.  If you were to see your energy field, you would look like a densely packed fibrous body of light, with branches that are big, like arteries, but also with a very fine system like capillaries.  Where energy draws towards the trunk of the body, there are vortices of energy that are called chakras.  There are many many more than the seven we normally talk about, but that is mostly because people aren’t as aware of them, but they are there nonetheless.

All throughout this body of light, energy flows. It seems that anything that we do not experience fully and acknowledge completely emotionally winds up getting lodged in the same way that a splinter or scar exists in the body.  When I began this process of awakening almost seven years ago, I knew next to nothing about Chinese medicine and when I hear that the light body stores old memory, I thought that was a little funny. Didn’t the brain do that?  I am sorry to say that up until that time, I had been seeing auras and reading energy for years.  I had been seeing how the aura, which is in the body, would show or exhibit emotional states all over the body and I certainly learned to read this energy. It wasn’t until I awoke that I became aware of the phenomenon of releasing blocks.  These blocks are merely unprocessed emotion that gets lodged in the energy body.  Once you are able to go down deep into the very block, you can release it. There are a number of methods I was shown how to use by none other than the intelligent energy that has been living in my bod all these years.

Having the reiki reminds me again how these blocks contain memory in them.  Last week I was able to go back into the first year or less of my life.  This was pretty amazing given that I have no memories of my first year of life.  Its just a haze to me.  However, whenever I dig up a block and release it, its almost like uncorking some ancient emotion that I feel again perhaps for the first time.  I was speaking to a friend today while taking a break between teaching my classes at the university how I had encountered this last block and how I had actually KNOWN that the problem that the block was existed all these years but somehow in my own physiology and energy field, I seemed to need to experience the actual  feeling directly instead of having a version of it resting in my awareness.

Isn’t that kind of weird?  To me, it actually feels like the block is a living being, locked in ice and waiting to be let go like some KundaliniMastadon whose organs are preserved and all that is needed is a careful electrical jolt to get the creature up and moving again. In a real way, though, this was what this last release was all about.  I KNEW that I hadn’t grieved my father’s passing as an infant.  Of course.  That is obvious, right?  And yet, deep inside the block there was this very specific feeling or awareness that lived in the pit of it.  When I felt THAT, I encountered a week-long process of grieving ina powerful way.  Call it speed grieving if you wish, because that is just what it felt like. Long since dead, I had to get on with it and not stand on ceremony. I was raw for about five days and slowly began to feel more healed from the ordeal.

So I know that I am not any different from the rest of you.  I know that others who have gone through the release process have also described allowing themselves to really FEEL the blocked energy as a way to help move the energy. This works, but it assumes you know how to access the energy.  Its not always possible.  There are other ways to access these blocks, and each is about as useful as any other.

WHile feeling deep into the block is one way, another way is to remain aloof, to allow the Observer part of you to come to the fore.  This Observer is actually very detached and it may help you to allow yourself to feel the same sense of detachment that comes with the Observer,  By allowing yourself to watch everything as though it is just a play, you can watch and see, but not become emotionally enmeshed in what is happening in front of you. Being able to step back like this is useful because it allows the focus of awareness to be present in the healing process, and while it may seem crazy, I have observed that it is observation or awareness being brought into the moment that serves to heal these blocks. Interestingly, the folks doing the reiki on me were saying the same thing.  I never learned this concept in any book, I was taught it by kundalini itself. It showed me years ago that my job was to SEE the block.  Just SEE itl in time, the block will go away.  If you can imagine that just behind your eyes is an infinite consciousness using your eyes to see through you, you can actually begin to allow more of the infinite through because…..that is exactly what is happening!  The method used to dissolve blocks is not to think it but FEEL it.  Thinking it or rationalizing is a very limited activity and is good for solving small problems like how to fix the kitchen sink but is really horrible at being able to divine the core of an issue that might stretch back lifetimes for you. It is the feeling self that must be enlisted for this.  I know; curious that I was just speaking of being aloof. Think of it as using your eyesight to SEE a problem but not get enmeshed in it.

There is another method for releasing blocks and this is movement.  Movement itself can be divided into several different classes.  One is shaking. Shaking has been shown to help release trauma stored in the body. It was first observed in animals that had been attacked by large prey animals.  Turns out, humans also use this method without realizing it when releasing old trauma sometimes. The other form of movement is the kind of movement found in the eastern traditions of Chi Gung and Tai Qi.  Both methods are designed to help move energy and eliminate blocks. Both are gentle workouts for the body and have been shown to bring a variety of health benefits. For anyone dealing with a backlog of blocks or who is aware of the blocks more than the average person, I would suggest keeping with a form of movement like Qi Gung and staying with it for at least a month with one or two session per week.  This is because some clearings take time to happen as well as once clearing does happen, you can sometimes get more clearings as a result of one clearing. Everything affects everything else.

There are a lot of very good visualizations to try when releasing blocks.  One is to stare into the block and feel your gaze breaking it up.  Another is to imagine a large hand opening up instead of clenching. Another is to imagine a river that is flowing and carrying you with it.  You do not control anything, you let the river take you.  Yet another very good visualization is imagining that your body is like a conduit or straw and energy flows through you unimpeded.  You let go of trying to be in control but become more of an observer.  By doing this kind of work, you can begin to shift your focus so that you can help to facilitate the movement of energetic blocks in your system.

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

By studying and knowing the chakra system you can learn more about how to dissolve a block.  If energy is stuck in one center, say, the heart, you can meditate on what the heart does and how the heart might be blocked and how to release it. For example, when dealing with root issues, like I have, I have found that I have been feeling emotional energy surrounding things like survival, nurture, and even abundance and sexuality. I can begin to get a clue about why the material is blocked, but knowing the basics of the center wont always lead me to the block, I have to allow myself to just FEEL it.  Somewhere inside of you, you do know the content of every single block in your body, but we do a lot to filter all of that out from conscious awareness. That is why meditation can be so handy. It can help to bring back into focus those things more on the edge of your awareness.  It is known, for example, that the left hemisphere acts as a giant filtering agent and that by letting down our “guard” so to speak, we can begin to broaden our awareness and filter less.  When you filter less, you also feel a flow of energy.  You don’t necessarily have to focus on everything that moves by, but being in a place where you can observe is very helpful as I am sure you can imagine.  Its different, but a very good kind of different and is within your own abilities to try.

The advantage of clearing is that you can better feel and hear the flow of the universe in you. If you want to know cosmic consciousness, this is a good way to do it; by reducing the noise!  It allows you to feel more clearly and it also helps to erase karma.  Being able to reduce karma in your life is huge.  By releasing blocks you are releasing also the vibration that the energy that has exerted all this time.  You will find, bit by bit, that you will attract based more on what you feel you want and need instead of constantly getting stuck on a karmic merry-go-round with different faces and names but the same behaviors popping up over and over and over.  It isn’t the world that needs to change, it is merely conforming to what you are.  It is you that must change if you with to attract a different kind of world in your experience.  The really great thing is that you can!

 

For years I have been aware of the energy therapy called Reiki that was developed by a Japanese man who lived up until 1929 who had an awakening and developed this method for helping to move energy blocks.  I learned about it as a therapy while speaking to a friend and psychotherapist who was beloved by many in our community as a wise and intuitive healer.  We were sitting in his yard and I was explaining that I felt like there was a way that one could heal a person through their energy field without talking to them, or even touching them, all done at a distance.  He smiled and said that I might be on to something. It was there that I learned about this therapy called Reiki.  Being the nonconformist and lone wolf, I never did any more than read about the basics of the discipline.  Having been aware of energy for years since beginning to see auras when I was 18, the ideas behind Reiki all sounded on the mark to me.  But I was not a joiner.  It was like some sense I had even back then that by not aligning to other methods that I would be more free to create my own or to see something perhaps more clearly….what, I was not sure.  Twenty years and an awakening later, this impulse has begun to make more sense to me in terms of what it is I am trying to do with understanding awakenings.

It has been seven years since my awakening began and in that time I have had clearings of old latent material from a host of different levels within the light body, what is also called the pranamayakosha.  This light body has sheathes or levels much like an onion.  The literature states that there are five layers in the pranamayakosha, but intuition tells me there are seven within the range of our awareness in the physical.  In all truth, I suspect more and more that the real structure is that of a cone, a continuous broadening of the energy body into ever larger dimensions of awareness.  This is where we begin to experience the higher self.  Here resides bliss which we can begin to learn to anchor in our bodies, thus marrying heaven to earth, which I know to be a big goal in my own life.  If it helps to think of this all as layers, then use it, but just don’t limit your thinking…..there is more to all of this and it is waiting for you and me once we are ready to see touch and taste it. The result of this clearing is that I have removed a great deal of material.  It has been quite the trip!  And if anything has been a certainty is that the movement of life force or kundalini has not always been orderly. It has gone where it could do the most work, it seems.  So the idea that it goes from root to crown is a nice idea, but for me, the material in my root has been the hardest most stubborn stuff to deal with and so it has remained throughout this journey.  I have become increasingly aware of just how important is has been to clear this area, but it has been an example of a big glitch in my karmic makeup.

I have observed that most people seem to have a small cluster of issues that form a hard center or core of challenges that often tend to repeat from one lifetime to another.  Being able to heal these patterns is a huge thing since by dissolving it in one life it can loosen the threads in all others.  In truth, the idea of time works only as it is being lived…..but in the larger perspective, alltime becomes more like a landscape where many more things become possible. An event, then, in the past effects the future just as much as a future event sends out energetic ripples deep into the past.  In a recent journey into my own life as a teen, I was able to slip into my dreamtime way back then and insert a brief but brilliant moment of wisdom to my younger self.  The effect the following day was nothing short of revolutionary.  Whats so  curios was that I can remember having a dream where a weird almost manic future self showed up in a dream I had, looked me deep in the eyes and told me one simple thing.  It wasn’t about how to win the lottery or anything like that.  It was the one thing that would make the single biggest impact; love.  Love as deeply as you can.  She is going to come around the corner in fifteen minutes and if you get on that bus, you will miss her.  Just wait.  Wait and you will see her.  Love is the way. The following day there was a subtle yet noticable difference.  In the same way that I have known that the intelligence of kundalini is itself a future self more refined looping back through all time into its version of the past, it is helping me to change the pattern that might have otherwise been my life the way it was going before awakening visited me seven years ago.  The future self is thus changed.  I am changed.  Doing this travel is easy to do actually because it involves no mass.  No body. Just the light body. Try it.  You might be surprised just how easy it is.  Increasingly as people are becoming aware of this as a possibility this sort of travel, when used for healing and growth, reaps huge rewards.  The future self, like a more developed you, perhaps even like a cosmic parent, can visit you right here and now.

So this root has had be hung up. This root has been about the death of a father, the loss of a mother, a small baby who was not loved enough, who did not feel safe, who shut down…..and was thus also part of a pattern of countless lives lived where children were left without parents, adopted, left to live as urchins on the streets in centuries past.  This glitch in my makeup wore deep groooves into my being. Coming into this life, I carried it as a big skip on my karmic recording.  It kept going round and round, the record playing the same full revolution, never getting past that one spot. So it has been with awareness that I have sought to lessen its effects energetically as much as I can.  It has been stubborn.  Over the last few months, the removal of other material has highlighted the root more and more.  I have become more aware of it in a singular sort of way.  I have felt a near-constant sense of nausea, a feeling of thickness energetically there. And so it was that when I heard that there was a group who did Reiki attunements in my area that I thought it would be a good idea to get to know these folks.

I went last night.  The air was brisk and as I entered, there were perhaps seven people working on two people in the room.  I chatted with one of the therapists as they completed a therapy session with a student.  In an interesting turn of events, I was explaining that I had had a friend and healer who helped to move a block in my sacral with the waive of her hand. It was so effortless it changed how I thought about this “work” that we do in liberating ourselves from these kinds of things.  What was so unusual was that during that visit, the person who had just hopped up from the table had been at the local farmer’s market in my area and they chatted while we browsed the booths.  So here he was, again, standing up just as I told how my friend had done this clearing for me when we had met this young man who was…..just getting off the therapists table!  We all had a big smile and I got on the table.

At first, I could feel the energy, yes, but nothing happened.  One of the therapists left mid way through as he had to leave to go to work.  After he left, the therapists changed orientation.  We spoke as they began to place their hands at different places on my body.  I explained what it was that was giving me trouble, that for all the clearing I had done my root was giving me a real challenge.  Everyone was gentle, kind, and supportive.  As I relaxed more and more I found that my awareness opened up and I dropped into what I call the zone.  Within minutes I felt a shimmering of high vibrational energy moving through me.  I could feel the therapist with her energy moving up through my feet into my legs, serving as a kind of tuning fork for my own energy.  Someone at my head cradled me. After some minutes the therapists changed position and someone new came over to my head.  This was where I felt like some part of my awareness went waaaay out.  Gosh, what WAS that?  I felt like he was almost bilocated to some other place…..a higher dimension.  I kept hearing the number “7” being said over and over.  I realized that this was my crown chakra.  “Oh right!  Crown!…..”  there was a presence in the room and I was suddenly standing with him over near where I first came in.  I was asking him something but he smiled and said, “you wont remember…..just keep with the attunement and all will be well…..”

A therapist asked if my neck hurt and I said that it didn’t.  In that moment, though, I felt a sudden thickness in my shoulders rising up out of my heart and I replied that while I didn’t feel physical pain, I did feel like a block was trying to move all of a sudden.  I felt a familiar kind of sense as though I was about to pass out, except I never did. This feeling always seems to accompany strong releases of energy for me.  I also can get a feeling of nasusea as well.  I was getting both at this point.  It was here that I mentioned how I felt the pain in my energy body from the root upwards into the sacral.  A therapist was already there describing it, which was when the energy began to move.  I had said earlier that I thought that maybe the energy would move quietly through Reiki, but I was beginning to feel a swelling of emotion deep down inside of me.

I felt as though I had been hurdled all the way back to an early time in life.  This was hard.  It was a hard, sad, and even scary time.  My father was dying and my mother was in turmoil.  I was very young, an infant.  I felt a swirl of emotion.  I felt sadness over not being loved.  I also felt grief.  I was aware of my father dying, of his absence and how important his presence was in my life during that brief time. It was as though I never got to grieve his death.  This was a light bulb moment for me.   I had always felt a kind of sadness related to him, whcih I of course associated with his dying so young.  But when I touched it, the feeling was incredibly specific.  You see, I had always thought if I ever touched these feelings they would just be vague senses of loss or sadness.  Not so.  Everything felt keyed into very specific things that were immediately identifiable in my life.  It was as though emotional energy had the capacity to interface with very specific memories or perhaps that memory is also buried within feeling (which I think is maybe not what we might think at first blush when considering these things).  The discovery was that even as an infant, I had never gotten to grieve his death properly.  All of that grief got bottled up inside me. This was actually very clear.  I was very sad and had not grieved his death properly.  At age 14 months, I was not taken to his funeral. Deeper still were all these layers…..I wasn’t good enough to be loved….that was why I had slipped into this situation…..I feared I was not lovable.  These waves of emotion came one after another as I felt as though I had been pressed into the first year of my life, back into a space where I felt very small physically but very big energetically.  Everything felt out of proportion somehow.

The therapists could not have been more kind and supportive.  There was gentle and loving laughter as we chatted between my fits of grief and sadness.  It felt like layers were being shed.  I was aware of an edge of being uncomfortable with really letting go fully. There were other people there on another table.  One therapist said for me not to feel funny just letting it all out.  He let me know it was not unusual to really howl if I had to.  After a few more minutes it felt like I had cleared a good piece of it.  I felt some relief and THAT was a real relief.  As I lay there I could feel how everyone was wanting to go home.  It was a very quick and simple end to the session.  I got up and found that I could not write my name or my email address for a few moments.  This was a bit unexpected, but I really felt like I had gone way out. I suddenly had a flurry of impressions about the people who had worked on me.  One man I saw scrambling around on rocks near water.  He said he loved to be outdoors.  The man who had been there earlier I said I saw as a cook in another life, one in which he valued quality, was kind of crazy about quality as a path toward nurturing people. They smiled and explained that he was having to go to his job that he hated, which was at a local restaurant where the quality of the food was poor.  He was hoping to get a job at a place that valued quality more.  I agreed that he really needed that and actually thrived on it.

For the next hour I felt similar to how I had felt after I had had  acupuncture  a year previously.  I was aware of feeling a whole new layer of feelings that had been stuck in the root somehow. I felt…..different……I felt a level of compassion that was different than before.  It is hard to explain but I saw some things in my life differently.  I realized I had been seeing them through a lens of the old latent hurt. I also was able to see how the hurt as it was composed had attracted certain people in my life and how it too had blinded them in a like fashion.  I saw more clearly how important it is to accept our own stuff and not seek to put it on to other people, something that I saw how others had done to me before and that I had done to others also.  I saw how I had only been hurting myself, but that I had also hurt others by allowing this distortion to persist within me.  This distortion disrupted my ability to align to my higher self in this clearer way.  As long as that was in the way, I could not know the subtlety of awareness and perception that existed beyond the realm of those old suite of clothes.

My sense is that while I had an intense session, clearings using Reiki will have different effects for people at different stages of their process.  Like an onion, you may find that you start in one place and progress ever deeper until you reach the harder places where the self does not want to let go out of fear or shame.  This process, though, is slowly revealing the beauty that we are within. And me, I am going back next week for some follow-up work.

waterishWe are taught in school and in our world culture that the mind is the way through solving all our problems.  We have done this because of a left-brained tendency for ages that has followed the march of linear rational thought and also an over-dependence upon masculine awareness, energy, and consciousness. Now come the cooler more fluid irrational, right brained things….the feminine, the counterpart to linear rational thought.  This is part of the balancing act that is taking place right now and right here on the planet.  The coming of the feminine.

The one thing that you can do in your own inner work to help to anchor some of these aspects that we associate with the feminine side of consciousness is to allow things be a mystery.  Stop trying to SOLVE every problem.  It is a curious reality that when you, little you, earthbound self-you stops trying to solve a problem, it actually is offered up to your higher self and the higher self works on it.  If you do as some Christians have done, which is “give it up to God” you will actually find the same thing I am writing about. Being able to do this also does something profound to you; it allows you to relax.  It seems counterintuitive that by stopping all thought and worry about something that is nagging us that we are able to resolve it so much easier, but it is true.

To do this you must make sure that you do not have any competing beliefs that will get in the way of this working.  If you find yourself interested in the idea of letting go of something and letting the higher self work on it but find that there is something in doing that that worries you , concerns you, or that you find yourself saying “yeah, but…” then its likely you have a competing belief that will get in your way.  If you do not believe you can, then you wont. Clear the path and your purpose will be clear and powerful.  This is part of your work. You are clearing a path for a giant to enter your life and do work for you.  And it can.  If you just allow it.  This is the giant that has stepped into the room with me when I awoke.  It is the vastness that came in when Buddha awakened.  It is the part of him that “awoke with him.”  You are the universe.  You are yourself, yes, but tied and woven into its very matrix.  You have some pretty powerful stuff on your side.

giraffe

Somethings just aren’t always something you can make sense of or solve.  How you feel, how you respond, or how other people have responded.  You may not always know the reason in a clear way.  But there is a part of you that can help to resolve it.  The answer may not always be the one you THINK you should get, but its the best one for you NOW.  Otherwise, its just as strange as our giraffe showing up in the photo above…

Another problem is that if you feel like you are supposed to solve the problem and that by letting go you are somehow engaging in an act of heresy or irresponsible behavior, well then, you have some inner issues to work on. Some of these can be niggling small.  Slivers, really.  If the power of the sliver is stronger than the power of your own intention, it is enough to counter anything you seek to manifest.

So let go.  Be vulnerable.  When you do this, you tell the universe that you are ready for it.  You are signalling a great deal of receptivity to it.  By doing this, things have a way of coming to you.  Be ready for miracles to happen. Don’t be surprised when you hear the footfalls of giants in your life.

It really is hard I think for many people to realize just how incredibly limitless they are, that the resources that they have are so significant as to render any problem or issue impotent and healed if only we could stop sticking  our fingers in the dyke and trying to hold back the vast rush of the universal energetic that is our souls. You wake up one day with the realization that all you are is a particle of water,  drop, really, but that there is this curious capacity you now have for merging your awareness into the drops of all other drops until you no longer see drops but feel vast seas and oceans surging and moving and flowing and this is all within you.  This is cosmic consciousness.  And I am sure someone like Buddha or someone similar had something to say about drops of water and oceans.

Once you feel this it is so authentic, you don’t need a teacher.  You simply need to remind and encourage yourself to keep pressing forward into that place where you can let go and surrender.  When you do, you signal you are ready for more.  “More” has a curious way of coming. The trick in all of this is not to worry over HOW the answer will come. Don’t worry about that.  I mean, if you do you might be entirely overwhelmed by the big footed movements of the giant as it comes crashing and moves all the furniture in your life….Your job is to remain simple and in the moment.  When you do this, you make youself available, ready, and receptive. Instead of being some kind of adversary, you will find that the universe has fallen in love with you and all the problems you have had or think you have aren’t the result of the world beating you up, but something inside of you that was off kilter. This type of awareness, this feeling of the universe falling in love with yourself is just the place where things can be seen in an entirely different way.  It is a radical shift in awareness and seeing/being. If you just let it.  Let yourself be seduced by it.  Go ahead.  Try. But in reaching that place, don’t seek to put controls on it.  Be like a child who has no expectation of what is going to happen.  When you do, you can better be led by this powerful force.  When you can’t do this, your awareness quickly shifts and drops right out of the sheath of awareness that is this state of higher vibrational being. Knowing when to activate the more receptive parts of your being with the more action oriented parts of yourself is a delicate balance, but when it comes to larger things, receptivity is a powerful approach that can lead you to unexpected places.  There is great power in this silence, this receptivity.  And in the end, you may not HAVE an answer to your problems because, well, those problems were just so gnarly, who would have been able to understand them once the transcendent comes knocking on your door?  It becomes like some distant foggy dream.  Sometimes things just need to be kept that way.

In this case, an empty mind is a very good thing.

 

Over the course of my awakening I have observed that releasing karmic material has taken a number of different paths.  There is a lot said about the way to go about it, but my experience has been that there are many ways.  Each way is used for different levels of material and how they are a part of you.  Issues that are more deeply shoved down will be different from issues that lay more at the surface or that are older ones.

 

One way, which is the way I have expressed recently here is what I experienced during the beginning stage of my awakening, which was that I played a role in releasing old blockages in my energy field.  This process was one where the presence of kundalini would reach a block and I would look at it, recognize it, and then kundalini would dissolve it.  It seemed that in this way, we worked in consort. This form of observation seemed to focus the force of kundalini and it also undid the block, which I suspect involved NOT feeling the emotion to begin with.  However, with kundalini, I did not have to relive the emotions, I simply had to recognize it, see it, then let it go and it was gone.  Energy would then move more freely through me and it would then be on to the next.  I suspect, based on experience, that the blocks in the beginning were the easier ones, and so the work was not that elusive or difficult.  I simply followed my intuition and what it was the Gnosis of awakening afforded me.

 

As I progressed through the many layers, and there are no doubt layers to all of this, the method changed somewhat.  Still, there was the same kind of arrangement of me being something of an observer, but this Observer role was even more neutral.  I suspect that this was necessary because of how hard some of the material was.  However, in a process that seemed entirely like magic, the process unfolded as though I was just along for the ride.  The block was released, there was a moment of recognition, and then it was gone.  Joy then radiated throughout the center that had been unblocked. For the harder issues that are deeper down a greater sense of neutrality was necessary.  We do not need to become enmeshed in a drama that is past in order to let it go, we simply have to be ready to forgive and let it go.  Who we forgive is ourselves.  That might not always seem correct, but realize that in all things energetic, whatever you are holding on to will create an attracting energy and the event itself lies in the past, which is now long gone.  What you have is how you FEEL.  Changing that is key.  You do not do this through some force of will, you do it through allowing yourself to flow and open. You allow yourself to feel differently, and this is not as easy as it seems. You can’t just tell yourself that you will feel differently, you find that feeling within.  It is a capacity that you have that you do not realize that you have.  You reach into it, sometimes blindly, but faithfully.  If you do this, with trust, your efforts will be more likely to be rewarded.

 

Finally, removing blocks can also involve allowing yourself to feel the old emotion as vividly as you can.  This, I have observed, has worked best with issues that are the freshest.  The older ones are easier to let slip away, but the newer ones are identified with more so with the ego, and it is this egoic identification that makes it harder to get rid of these blocks.  So by allowing yourself to feel the emotion in its fullest, by giving yourself fully to it without fear over how inappropriate it might be, you can work through it with ego in place.  the only alternative to my mind is allowing the hurt to “age” more which means waiting a long time.  Decades, perhaps even lifetimes.  I don’t think this is realistic or healthy especially if you have the means and opportunity to take care of it now.  Most often, we fear our feelings.  We also numb ourselves and we also shove the feelings aside or push them deeply down where they ferment into dysfunction and come up worse than before (thank you Freud and Jung).

 

You can do this in the same way that I did it not long ago when releasing some material that was relatively fresh.  I did not avoid letting myself just feel the emotion, I just kind of wallowed in it for a moment.  On this occasion, however, it lifted out of me and I could feel the energy leave.

 

Corresponding with all of this pent-up material is also the awareness of how it is connected to certain chakras.  Observe yourself over time whenever you reflect on a given hurt from the past and see if you feel any discomfort in certain parts of your body.  This discomforting effect may not arise immediately upon thinking of an old hurt, so keep observing how you feel in your body for a while.  This may  be minutes, it might be hours. But be alert and mindful of it.  Then, once you have an area where this discomfort arises, feel your awareness go into that area.  Feel yourself as though you have suddenly grown very small and are now climbing into that energy center, now looking all through it and out of it. How does it look?  Is it cold and dark or is it hot and inflamed?  Does it feel split?  Does it feel torn?  What words would describe how it feels or seems to you?  Then, depending on how it feels, apply the intent that you are going to heal that center.  If it feels dull and numb, imagine you are breathing new life into it in order that it can feel again.  If it feels torn, imagine that you are soothing it, perhaps slowly teasing away the strands that have caused it to feel so hurt.  You might imagine bringing the torn parts back and using the glue of love and compassionate understanding to bring it back into unity.  these forms of imaginative work can help to anchor a new feeling in those centers and can, over time, result in shifting how that center feels, which can also result in making the block dissolve or go away completely.

the thing about energy is that it is not entirely material.  Imagination, which we tend to downplay as not real, is made of the same stuff as energy and so it plays by all the same rules.  Use it.  It will work for you.  As you create new images, these images will begin to grow and take root in the centers where you have directed them.  You can heal in this way by taking one image and supplanting it with another.  Energy centers play by the same rules as you imagination and so they both are of a piece and work well together.  You heal the physical body with the things from the physical. You heal the energy body with things from the energy world.  As a result, there is not a way to do this kind of “work.”  If you can imagine it, then it will work.  Simply replace one feeling for another until the new feeling takes root. This is not far removed from affirmation work.  Affirmations will help you go from merely aping the words to actually feeling them.  There is a part of you which KNOWS what these affirmations mean even if you do not feel into them right away.  This can be a powerful way towards changing what you are and what you attract in life.  The key to this last method is simply allowing yourself to feel.  Choose to feel differently and it will become so with enough support and reinforcement.  By not being afraid of your feelings, you also face what may well be something not as formidable as you had thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before I knew what it was I had, that its name was awakening or kundalini, I observed how it was assisting me in releasing material from my energy body.  Now many years later I see that there is a very keen awareness about how we can assist in clearing blockages through movement and also from doing the “work” of releasing.

 

Anything that you have responded to that you have not resolved will remain in your energy field and will move into that part of your field that will match its vibration.  This is both positive and negative, so one area of the body wont house just the good stuff but rather will be like a double-sided coin.  Shadow and light.

 

The great advantage of kundalini is its stirring power.  It stirs your senses, it stirs your sensuality, it stirs you emotions, it stirs you mind, and it stirs your subconscious.  And this subconscious self, I contend, is merely the gateway to your higher self.  the more you can clear THAT field of blocks the more you will be in touch with your higher self and be able to utilize the language of the subconscious to communicate effectively between these seemingly different parts of yourself.

 

When kundalini does move and dislodges an old block, it can result in feelings of anxiety, even panic.  This, though, is itself like the cleansing effect when some bit of dirt is dislodged from the side of a giant vessel with clear water streaming into it.  This dirt clod will muddy the water for  a bit.  It can lead to scary dreams, a feeling of dis-ease, anxiety, and even physical pain.  It is not uncommon for people who have awakened to have so much seeming physical pain that they go to see a doctor.  All of this is the effect that kundalini can have on your energy body. The difference between a real physical malady and an energetic one is that most often, the doctor will find something either on a panel or in some other examination of your body to find the source.  It is always best to go see a doctor if you feel like you need to, but in time you may be able to identify the energetic effects from real physical effects. It can be a little tricky and needs to be approached with care.

 

When you do experience these shifts of clearings of material, it is not uncommon to feel a little off either before or after they clear. in my experience, I will feel a buildup of energy that feels negative in some way that just keeps building until something in me reaches a kind of threshold or break-through point.  I have observed that the less I try to make it happen, the more I just stand out of the way and let it pass, the easier all of this becomes. The ego and mind can latch onto the material in an unnecessary way, creating in my experience a hitch or docking point for the energy so it does not leave.  By putting so much attention on it, we can be subconsciously be asking it to stay without realizing it.  This can happen especially for people with strong separation anxiety or issues with abandonment.  In this case, what is abandoning you was that which you lived with, got used to, but now no longer need.  Being willing to entertain the possibility of just feeling differently about things can be helpful.

 

I like to cook and so when I think about this process I see it as though I am in the kitchen with these master chefs.  Trouble is, I am really into this stuff, but when I get into the act, I tend to get in the way more than helping.  So as I am there doing my best one chef grabs a stool, pats me on the head and asks politely if I wouldn’t mind sitting in the kitchen and just watch for a bit.  And so this works very well.  In fact, in the early days of my first energetic releases kundalini showed me the way to be in this process.  Kundalini would identify the block and my job was to simply LOOK at the block.  I might not even know what this block was.  This was an entirely immaterial process, aided only by a vivid imagination.  So I would create a kind of symbolic image of the block, which in this case were stones in a field.  Kundalini would lead me to the stone, I would pick it up, kiss it (blessing it) and then set it back down.  By my simple act of bringing awareness to its presence, the block was gone.  I had to acknowledge the block, but my job was not in removing it.  In the same way, my job was not to do the cooking in the kitchen, but to simply acknowledge what was taking place.  I had to now bring awareness into the moment, what I had not done when the block was first formed.  This was just what had made the block a block!  I had not allowed myself to FEEL the emotion but had instead pushed it down, ignored it, and there it festered and turned into something that was not good.

Now having said all of this, I take a lesson from this process in my life in the day-to-day and I allow myself to simply acknowledge my feelings and let them blow through me however I need to feel them.  I don’t hold back.  As a result of this, I have noticed that I am not creating anything new as a backlog to the old material kundalini is helping to dissolve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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