Archives for posts with tag: energy healing

waterish

Over the course of awakening I have found that my comprehension concerning energy has evolved significantly over the last eight years.  Before awakening I read auras, I had a native ability to pick up on this energy, but when awakening came this sense easily tripled in sensitivity.

As a result of this, I have found that I am picking up on aspects of energy that no one is even talking about.  When I read documents such as on pranayama or on the Golden Flower, I often find that there is a lot missing in understanding what is at work in the energy body of a person.  A few months ago I was being worked on by a therapist who was doing massage and energy work.  I could follow what she was doing, which was clearing individual lines of energy through the meridian or nadi channels in my etheric or energy body.  As she did this, I found myself changing the way that I looked or picked up on my own energy field; I began looking DOWN through the energy channels, and when I did this, I saw something completely different from anything I have ever heard described.  What I was able to see was the presence of the chakra wheels in each channel in a certain arrangement.  This showed to me an aspect of how our energy works, which is how the chakras have their own channels through which their own energy frequency flows alongside the frequencies of other centers. Why this is important is that once you know HOW each intersecting line in the energy body is composed, you can direct pressure into that point in a very exacting way in order to release a portion of a block in, say, the sacral chakra, by how one applies pressure in one portion of the meridian system that is far from the center being worked on.

I have also found that the directional flow that most yogis and other practitioners talk about is not actually the flow of the pranic force but is something else altogether.  While it IS an effect of how energy flows, it is not directly tied to energetic flow, but is in truth more about energetic harmonics.  Have you ever heard about pranic harmonics?  I didn’t think so.  No one talks about it.  What does it mean for a healer?  What does it say about your own level of energetic awareness? What can you do to delve into the world of energy more and understand this at a higher order than you had before? The benefits are that you can help others with their own energy and you can understand your own energy and the energy of the universe.

The question I have is whether or not there is interest in this kind of material.  I know that by expanding our awareness in this region, we can also expand our capacities as healers. What say you?

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Surrender

Sometime last year I spoke with some local healers about whether they knew someone in my area who did a combination of body work (massage) with energy work.  I knew what I needed, I just didn’t know if there was anyone who did the kind of work I was feeling like I needed.  One of the people turned to the other and they both said almost at once the name of a local practitioner in my area.  It took a while to get on her schedule, but the work she does is based on the Polynesian method of balance of the feminine and masculine as yin and yang in the body.  It embodies awareness of the meridians and points throughout the body just as the Chinese methods of acupuncture do.  It is, for me, proving to be a very useful modality at the stage I am at right now.

My first appointment went well, and some blocks were removed.  It was helpful.  I have been working on some of the last blocks in my system, a process that has taken about eight years or so since kundalini rose and began clearing me out.  As I have gotten down to the end of this, it has gotten harder to remove the most stubborn of blocks!  But unlike the beginning when I felt defeated by the hardness of each block, then victorious as the block was magically moved by the stirring energy of awakening, I now have a level of confidence born out of perspective or experience. The second appointment, though, was something else.

We began the second session by going over where some of the blocks were and what they were doing to my physiology.  This provided her some clues, and she got to work.  I am able to identify very specific locations along certain meridians which helps her to know where some of the blocks are happening. She went all over the body, pressing here and there, both massaging, getting me to breathe a certain way, and then placing her fingers at certain points.  Once she had gotten through a certain portion of the work, she then placed her finger in one spot.  As she did so, she asked me what I saw.  It was funny, because I had begun to see something rise up in my inner vision just before she asked this. This was bringing up stored memories that existed on the other side of the blocks I have been dealing with for so long. My healer was already beginning to assist in the release of this stored material.

I found myself going back, back, back, further through time and deeper into the blocks in the root chakra.  Having to do with survival, abundance, nurture, care, and love, I felt like a toothpaste tube being squeezed out.  I saw my feet on wet sand as a child, an experience from early childhood in my home in Florida.  But then as I moved through these old blocks, I found myself looking down at feet that were not my own.  Different feet were running through a rainforest.  This was on a Pacific island.  A very old story unfolded that explained so much about the trials I experience in life.

Letting it go was the single most important thing I could do.  Somehow, in perfect timing, I was given this gift of a Kahuna healer to reach into a place in my past that was Polynesian.  This was not something I was experiencing that was by way of suggestion (that I was Polynesian), but rather through a complete and perfect form of serendipity. I needed something from that old world in the new to help bring it all up.  And there she was, my massage therapist, an amazing person for her insight into a system that seems to wed a range of sensibilities into one practice. Furthermore, this person lived right around the corner from my home, which has been how my most important finds have taken place, such as my Qi Gong teacher who helped me so much in releasing blocks, who lived the same distance from my home as my Kahuna healer does (almost exactly the same physical distance).  This, instead, points to the amazing nature of what lies ahead of us in a journey of this type.  Some want to call it miraculous, but instead of miraculous, consider that it is pointing to the potential for the universe to bring you exactly what you need when you need it (even if it means having a Polynesian who just happens to do healing work right around the corner from you with a healing modality that is perfectly suited to your own healing).  Rather than the universe working against you, it can also work FOR you in remarkable ways….

For anyone who feels stuck with clearing out old material, I suggest body work by a person who is intuitive and sensitive.  This Kahuna healing work was perfect for me, since it brings into the moment all of the things that help to move these blocks. What I have struggled with for over a year was released in that two hour session. As it sure seems that I have saved the hardest blocks for last, getting this kind of compassionate care has been so important. My healer looked at me afterwards and asked inquisitively, “Have you had releases like you just had in your process in the past?”  I had to explain that I had a couple that were as dramatic as the one she witnessed, but most of them were almost non-events since I was not experiencing the trauma that made up the block.  It seems that for these last bits, I almost NEED to feel the highly charged energy, to bring it into awareness in order to understand where the fault has lied within me (how I bypass the feelings that are so foundational and thus are root-related and that get stored as a result of this)

Its been two days now and I still feel tender, and I feel new.  The releases were so deep that they have left me feeling….at odd ends….which is something that I am used to by now. I just don’t sweat it as much now. I feel a stronger or renewed sense of my own energetic integrity and how important it is to no longer allow people into my field who mirror the pain that I have now released.  Up until that time, however, I continued to be vulnerable to this intrusion of sorts simply because that was just where I was, sharing the same “samscara” or soul scar. In a very real way, I was like a heroin addict hanging out with other addicts.  We kept each other going on this merry-go-round of dysfunction.  While I may have known all along that it was not healthy at all for me to be connected to these people energetically, I was also powerless to do much about it deep down.  To gain back the power of my own will, I had to cure the fault or hurt I had stored in the first place.  This naturally moved me out and into the new. Unlike a sudden arrival, though, this is one step of many steps, a kind of continuous spiral of evolving, healing, and becoming. It continues to be a process.  There is still more material to release, but I am now better equipped to feel a sense of quiet within myself without someone banging on my inner doors or sneaking in through the back way.  This is critical to do if I am to continue to heal, which is to remove all of the negative influences that serve to keep the new at bay and the old constantly reinforcing itself.

After these kinds of clearings, I just kind of observe, feel, and wait for my system to reach its new balance.  I have been living with this junk for so long, it might take a few days or weeks to reach stasis again.  But its good. Since you might be curious to find out more, here is a link to one of many Kahuna sites…I highly recommend this modality for anyone who is dealing with hard to remove material.

http://fionahouse.com.au/therapies/kahuna-bodywork/

visions

I sit and speak with the light.   It is opening up to this great love that lives inside of me.  It has been the one thing that has driven me forward in my process of healing the barrage of blocks, the breaking of old patterns, the dissolving of karma. It is at once the force of awakening as well as my own love.  it is interesting and lovely how my purpose can be a part of it, to learn from it, to heal with it.   It is nestled into each of us….a part of us. It can BE us and we can BE it.  It can also come, probably like Moses saw it, as a burning bush.  Part of it, I know, are aspects of my higher self.  But I also know that in all of that, this extension of consciousness, that I am reaching something more….something else.  It is the thing that granted me my individuality.  it is funny because if I told you how I experience it, I don’t think you would believe me.  It lies utterly silent, but aware within the core of everything.  I can feel what it feels as the interior of all things and I can also see it on the FACE of everything through the sentient universe.  But to get there I find that I have to use my imagination.  I think that most people think that when they are using their imagination that what they come up with is a fabrication….a creation….itself only real for the creator. What I have found is that what we call the imagination is like a path that we only go down but so deep with.  It goes deeper, though, and will birth phenomenon while the higher self becomes engaged.  It becomes like a way for information to be projected from the so-called higher self to the so-called lower self and also as a way to create, to birth what has been waiting in the wings.

All of this is what interest me, teaching me about the nature of creativity, the dance of opposites, tantra as a creative and healing art, and the nature of time, as well as our relationship to higher order consciousness.  reaching the zero point, what the zen monks call “zero” is also a big part of all of this.  In fact, you  could say it underpins all of this.  It is what I write about over and over and over…..which is a return tot his zero, something that I have engaged passionately in since awakening took place.  In fact, it is this one thing that has been the core of my work all this time.

If you had something in your brain that made you think you saw enemies when they were actually your friends, would you be concerned and go to the doctor to see if there was a way to fix it? That sounds pretty troublesome, right?  Well, in fact, we are all afflicted with this tendency. We see others as for or against us in ways that wind up being off the mark.  I have had this happen in my life several times since the rising of kundalini.  Some had been in place years before.  I have been able to observe in others as well as myself how these lenses blind us completely or partially.  In either case, the result is chaos and pain.  Who needs that, right?  What is it that has made us so messed up that we would cleave to that even as something inside of us says “boy this sure is crazy.”  As if we are possessed.  Except, there we are, making the choice ourselves.  Why?  When you turn from something as perfect as this love that the divine is, it can make a person mad.  Plus we are a kind of crazy crowd, us humans.  Crazy and beautiful all at once. What a trip, right?

Until we heal these rifts in us, we will think we see outside of us what is actually inside of us.  We will see as one person saw, nothing but enemies.  Another person saw reasons to be fearful.  I saw threats to my ability to love and I responded over and over and over by pulling away.  Suspended, not fully present, I learned to protect my own soul castle by not fully engaging.  This sense of being “out there” was certainly part of who I am.  I am so Pisces (believe it…I said it…), but this lovely ability to flow in the etheric realm has also meant that I have a means to escape. I have sought to do so in healthy pursuits for the most part, but I can admit that it meant in some cases that I would pull back from the stings and arrows others have shot my way in the hopes that I might never feel the sting of such hurt again.  Sometimes I think that I am to learn to take every single arrow with bravery and realize not a one can hurt me.  None.  So shoot me.  Kill me.  Hang me.  It has been done a thousand times anyway on this planet, so why am I so concerned about someone who is just being a little human?  THAT becomes the corpus of my own “stuff” which I must heal.  Until then, being able to see into the divine realm will be limited.  I might be able to lay down at night or in quiet moments, yes, but I wont be able to feel it in the moment when someone is cutting me off in traffic or someone is yelling at me because, well, they are in some way hurting.  Until we can be unmoved by the suffering as others as THEIRS we continually seek to grab onto others’ stories to somehow make them our own through a host of suppositions based less on what is true as it is how we are deep down.

The writer Anais Nin said that we see the world as we are, not as it is.  And it is so true.  But we CAN see the world AS IT IS by removing these lenses, these old beliefs, what the easterners call illusions, but what I like to call creations (we created them, we can create something different and new).  As I am able to remove this material, it has resulted in being able to see more clearly.  Truly.

For me, the way this has all gone is most of my issues lies in my ability to create.  As a result, a LOT of material that has been stuck has been stuck in a place between root and sacral.  It literally feels in my body as a sore womb is slowly being chipped away at and released from its prison.  It means also that my masculine character goes through changes as this happens as the feminine character in my awareness also goes through some changes.  How I feel, how I respond, all change incrementally as incremental things are healed.

Right now the project feels more like dredging an ancient canal.  the methods I have used to release this material have been wide ranging.  I write about them in my book which I am hoping to submit for publishing in the next year.  The “methods” if you want to call them that, include a broad range that turn out being the same things that the ancients have used for centuries, but it also includes some new ones. Until this is done the energy field of a person remains susceptible to the very forces that mirror the junk that has yet to be removed.  It is not uncommon, then, for most people to have energetic entities attached to them in one way or another.  These range from small inconsequential to much more human like and very likely form the stories of vampires and succubi/incubi.  Early in my awakening I dealt with removing these beings, but no more.  My work deals with getting myself right first.  Everyone actually has the means to rid themselves of these forces when they are ready.  And not everyone is ready.  Following ones readiness is also a great way to bring healing in a more perfect way.  In this way, we can be the doctors to our souls. We really do know best deeper down.  It might not seem that way sometimes, but there is intelligence that we are each a part of that is way beyond anything you could imagine or believe.  But it is the core of what each of us is.  Beyond time.  Beyond belief.  🙂

This isn’t about changing how you think or changing your habits.  Yes, you can bring change into your life this way, but what I am pointing to is an alchemy of the soul that results in instantaneous change.  It is a way where we can actually throw off massive amounts of junk in a relatively short period of time.  It is what modern psychotherapy has largely missed (with the exception of a few notable examples).   By doing this we can each reach this seemingly elusive “zero” point that so many seek, including me.

This is not about being cool and hip, doing yoga and all the newest methods.  It isn’t even about having a fit body or a nice house or anything else.  You can build your life with all of these things around you, but until you fix what is at the core of you that is off, the rest will always be problematic in one way or another.  The great job will bring you angst….the fancy car will be in the shop more often than it needs to be.  Something you thought was awesome winds up being riddled with problems.   That lovely house wont make you happy because you are not happy.  In seeking happiness in things, we each have forgotten the core of what happiness is about. It is not in another person, or in a different life.  It exists right here with you and it is waiting for you to LIVE it.  Like me, it is waiting for me.  I am seeking to grab hold of it as I can, as I can manifest it.  This is the love that waits for you, me, and everyone else.  It is waiting for each of us to learn of its existence.  Until we can feel this love in our own selves, we will each be a near-miss in our lives.  It is a self love that we allow ourselves.  When we ALLOW it for ourselves, we can allow it IN our lives with others.  Its really pretty cool and awesome.  So let’s get to it, shall we?

What is waiting for you?  Here’s hoping that you find your bliss and the greatest love there is!

I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting ot figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

I have sensed energy and understood how energy works for years and knew that were I to want to, I could be a good energy healer.  I was untrained and did not read books about alternative medicine.  But I knew what I knew.  I knew that there was a side to healing that had to do with how we feel, how our consciousness is set up for “shaped” within our bodies that had everything to do with how healthy we are, how at peace we are, and a host of other things that western medicine has largely been either unwilling to approach or wont.  As I stood there one night, using my energy to make my cat roll over, I asked “What on earth is this?  What am I?”  the answer was that I was an “energy handler.”  I was so frustrated at that point, wanting to figure this out. But it was not to be.  I had a deep impulse that until or unless I knew I was at complete peace, I would not do any kind of healing work.  And I didn’t. 

I can remember telling a friend who was a gifted psychotherapist that I knew there was a way to heal people from a distance.  This was about five years before I found out about a healing modality caller Reiki, which served up distance healing.  Still, something in me told me that while I would be good, I knew that I had to be the most healed person in the room. 

Amongst the Native Peoples of North America, the person who was the healer was the person who was him or herself the most healed.  This healed person was the most neutral.  A person who is not healed fully will not be able to see beyond his or her own lack of healing.  The block or issue in the energy body will create a certain level of blindness for the therapist  It is important to yourself be healed if you are to heal.

When a person is healed of an issue within, they are more able to change the issue in the person before them who is there for healing.  Whether you know this or not, there is an energetic component to all healing.  Sure, if you break an arm, you have to do things that will mechanically set and allow the arm to heal. But the speed of healing is greatly influenced by the flow of life force into the area.  This life force energy has a stimulating effect on a whole range of processes in the body and they go all the way down to the cellular level.  We know this because we have observed how it is that capillaries will dilate when someone comes into the vicinity of a healer’s hands.  We have charted that there are very real physical changes taking place in the wake of what we now know is a flux or flow of life force into the body of the person being healed.  There are many very beneficial things that happen when energy flow is allowed to move unhampered.  Sometimes the result is miraculous if the person who is doing the healing is him or herself a healed person.  Healed = clear.  the other side to this is that until you heal something in yourself, you will often tend to attract what you yourself are still working on in others.  So for example you might be dealing with something that is at its root about fear.  Until you are able to deal with it, though, you may not be as helpful to others as you would be if you yourself no longer had the issue to begin with.  Why?

Atunement.  This is the term I use and it may be what others use.  It is a principle I have observed since I was in my 20’s and it has to do with how one person can actually atune a person’s energy so that they literally vibrate out the knot or block or issue in their energy body so that the underlying issue in the energy and consciousness is gone so that at the cell level the body can begin to repair and work as it was intended to. It will almost always work the right way as intended even after years of dysfunction…..so long as permanent damage has not taken place in the body.  I used to observe how I was able to get people to see auras by using this atunement energy.  I could always feel it and as long as the person was receptive, it resulted in their being able to tune into the same thing I was tuning into energy-wise.  I knew that what was taking place was how a person was able to feel my own energy and by just feeling its vibration could then achieve that same vibration for themselves, which was what enabled them to then begin seeing auras.  For the people who had this happen to them, this was itself a dramatic, but what I knew deep down was that this was how all energy medicine worked.  I just wished that I could bring my gifts to the world.  But something kept me from doing so.  What kept me from doing so was the knowledge deep down that while I could do a great deal of healing, I wanted to do something that was quite rare here, which was to be a healed healer.  I didn’t want to heal while wounded still.  I will give you an example of what I mean. 

Some months ago I decided to utilize Reiki as a healing modality for assisting me in releasing energy blocks which Kundalini has been actively engaged in helping me with since my awakening about seven years ago.  I was curious more than anything but I also felt like it could be a beneficial avenue.  After reading up on Reiki, I realized that this was a form of energy medicine that was similar to what I had always envisioned as something I tend to do with people when it comes to healing energy. 

When I went, I explained that I had been actively clearing my energy field and had done so to a pretty deep level.  I explained that this had all taken place in each chakra over many of the “koshas.”  I wanted them to understand I was not just the regular Joe.  I needed them to go deeper then they may have been used to going.  I explained I was dealing now with root issues and that this was where I needed help.  We began and the healers were successful in helping to release some difficult material.  I went a second time and while there I had a healer who was the head of a local school of alternaitve medicine say that she could not feel anything left in my root, that it was clear. I explained that there was more there, I could feel it.  In fact, I knew very well what remained in my root because I could feel the blocks as sharp pain, dull pain, and a feeling of tension as well as pressure.  My awareness of where I am with my energy is so strong that it is translated by my brain into something that it can make sense of and it also helps me to keep track of where I am by this not-so-comfy feeling, but has been useful for monitoring my progress over these seven years or so. 

After working on me for a while, the woman pronounced me cleared and stopped the work she was doing.  As I got up and thanked her for her work, she explained to me that sometimes we have to be careful about trying to turn nothing into something.  She assured me that I was clean as a whistle and to try not to make something out of nothing.  I smiled and thanked them all again before taking my jacket and heading out into the night air. 

The takeaway from all of this is that for healers who are themselves not healed,they will be blind to what remains, just as this lady was blind to what remained in me.  Over the course of the next six months, I continued on my own to release more and more material, none of it imagined, none of it an inflation of something small or minor.  In truth, I may have dug deeper than this therapist had ever had the experience of going.  I don’t say this to boast, I say this because this is itself a very real issue with healers of all kinds.  You simply cannot help someone if you yourself do not know the route to the healing your patient needs.  This is so for western medicine as well as other forms of medicine such as Chinese Medicine, energy medicine, naturalpathy, etc.  The aspect of healing that is energetic is the part that most closely corresponds to the placebo effect.  We literally decide to feel differently and we do.  Our bodies register the change and off we go.  In the case of energy healing, though, it is possible to have healing above and beyond placebo.  We talk about placebo as if its unimportant, but it is huge.  Being able to let go and being willing to be ready to feel differently are important precursors to actual healing taking place.  So HOW you feel is important. You can actually learn how to feel differently by connecting in with the feelings of the healer.  This is what atunement is all about.  We literally vibrate at the same frequency as they do.  But if that healer does not have a cleared root in her vibration, will the patient be able to clear his or her root center completely?  If s/he does, it will not be because of the healer. 

Speaking to a therapist about the work she did helping people in her practice, she expressed how she did not help people to heal.  She explained she helped them to cope. On the one hand, I thought that she was being honest and practical.  She did not try to reach for healing, she tried to make life better for the clients.  It probably  suited her well for where she was.  But no healing?  If you don’t think its possible, then its pretty much a lock that it wont be for your client.  When you expect the impossible, it tends to happen far more frequently than otherwise.  🙂

This same issue is at work when a teacher seeks to tell his or her students about something that he or she does not yet fully understand or has made a part of his or her practice.  Ram Das who wrote Be Here Now had a conversation with his teacher about why it was that he had not learned a certain principle from his previous teacher.  It was curious because other students had not learned it either, even though the teacher was able to teach about it many times.  Ram Das’s new teacher explained this perfectly:  his teacher could not expect anyone to learn the new perspective and embody it because he had not yet done so.  His teaching, then, was ineffectual as a result.  You can preach it all you want, but until you ARE it, there is little hope that your words will make any difference.  See, until the vibration is right, people wont get it because the other side of our being is that we are each energetic beings and we are highly sensitive to these energies in consciousness.  Our world is an unseen but entirely felt tapestry of energy that has a very real effect on people and as we have found in physics, on objects as well. 

Does this mean that I think all people should hold off on doing energy work or healing until they themselves are clear?  Nope.  In fact, I think that a lot of good can be done even before you are completely clear or free from the wheel or karma.  I think for me, though, I am most interested in being able to come from a place where I am so clear that I can easily find every little hitch and glitch and gently and effortlessly give space and the vibration necessary to entrain and heal that person’s field of anything that is anything less than an aligned state of being. And does this mean that I wont be healing in this life?  Well, I can’t say for sure. At the pace I am going it wont be long before I have emptied the karmic dustbin out completely,  A few years ago I had someone say something to me that I thought was short sighted, which was that I was stuck in these karmic glitches and would probably remain so the rest of my life.  I thought “Wow, how incredibly limited!”  It was enough to get me shaking off the feeling behind those words, the sense of hopelessness that must have been in that person.  Well, I am here to say that life is nothing if not full of surprises and our conception one moment can be completely reformed the next.  Change can happen on a dime!  So I say: be ready for anything!  I am here to return to the garden.  Why are you here?

And that, dear reader, is a little perspective on the healing arts! 

kundlini2I have been going to have reiki treatments recently to assist with some clearing in my chakras, and my energy field in general.  There is a lot of talk about chakra clearing and chakra meditation.  It is useful to know, though, that your whole body is a vast network of criss-crossing energy lines that go all the way down to the atomic level.  If you were to see your energy field, you would look like a densely packed fibrous body of light, with branches that are big, like arteries, but also with a very fine system like capillaries.  Where energy draws towards the trunk of the body, there are vortices of energy that are called chakras.  There are many many more than the seven we normally talk about, but that is mostly because people aren’t as aware of them, but they are there nonetheless.

All throughout this body of light, energy flows. It seems that anything that we do not experience fully and acknowledge completely emotionally winds up getting lodged in the same way that a splinter or scar exists in the body.  When I began this process of awakening almost seven years ago, I knew next to nothing about Chinese medicine and when I hear that the light body stores old memory, I thought that was a little funny. Didn’t the brain do that?  I am sorry to say that up until that time, I had been seeing auras and reading energy for years.  I had been seeing how the aura, which is in the body, would show or exhibit emotional states all over the body and I certainly learned to read this energy. It wasn’t until I awoke that I became aware of the phenomenon of releasing blocks.  These blocks are merely unprocessed emotion that gets lodged in the energy body.  Once you are able to go down deep into the very block, you can release it. There are a number of methods I was shown how to use by none other than the intelligent energy that has been living in my bod all these years.

Having the reiki reminds me again how these blocks contain memory in them.  Last week I was able to go back into the first year or less of my life.  This was pretty amazing given that I have no memories of my first year of life.  Its just a haze to me.  However, whenever I dig up a block and release it, its almost like uncorking some ancient emotion that I feel again perhaps for the first time.  I was speaking to a friend today while taking a break between teaching my classes at the university how I had encountered this last block and how I had actually KNOWN that the problem that the block was existed all these years but somehow in my own physiology and energy field, I seemed to need to experience the actual  feeling directly instead of having a version of it resting in my awareness.

Isn’t that kind of weird?  To me, it actually feels like the block is a living being, locked in ice and waiting to be let go like some KundaliniMastadon whose organs are preserved and all that is needed is a careful electrical jolt to get the creature up and moving again. In a real way, though, this was what this last release was all about.  I KNEW that I hadn’t grieved my father’s passing as an infant.  Of course.  That is obvious, right?  And yet, deep inside the block there was this very specific feeling or awareness that lived in the pit of it.  When I felt THAT, I encountered a week-long process of grieving ina powerful way.  Call it speed grieving if you wish, because that is just what it felt like. Long since dead, I had to get on with it and not stand on ceremony. I was raw for about five days and slowly began to feel more healed from the ordeal.

So I know that I am not any different from the rest of you.  I know that others who have gone through the release process have also described allowing themselves to really FEEL the blocked energy as a way to help move the energy. This works, but it assumes you know how to access the energy.  Its not always possible.  There are other ways to access these blocks, and each is about as useful as any other.

WHile feeling deep into the block is one way, another way is to remain aloof, to allow the Observer part of you to come to the fore.  This Observer is actually very detached and it may help you to allow yourself to feel the same sense of detachment that comes with the Observer,  By allowing yourself to watch everything as though it is just a play, you can watch and see, but not become emotionally enmeshed in what is happening in front of you. Being able to step back like this is useful because it allows the focus of awareness to be present in the healing process, and while it may seem crazy, I have observed that it is observation or awareness being brought into the moment that serves to heal these blocks. Interestingly, the folks doing the reiki on me were saying the same thing.  I never learned this concept in any book, I was taught it by kundalini itself. It showed me years ago that my job was to SEE the block.  Just SEE itl in time, the block will go away.  If you can imagine that just behind your eyes is an infinite consciousness using your eyes to see through you, you can actually begin to allow more of the infinite through because…..that is exactly what is happening!  The method used to dissolve blocks is not to think it but FEEL it.  Thinking it or rationalizing is a very limited activity and is good for solving small problems like how to fix the kitchen sink but is really horrible at being able to divine the core of an issue that might stretch back lifetimes for you. It is the feeling self that must be enlisted for this.  I know; curious that I was just speaking of being aloof. Think of it as using your eyesight to SEE a problem but not get enmeshed in it.

There is another method for releasing blocks and this is movement.  Movement itself can be divided into several different classes.  One is shaking. Shaking has been shown to help release trauma stored in the body. It was first observed in animals that had been attacked by large prey animals.  Turns out, humans also use this method without realizing it when releasing old trauma sometimes. The other form of movement is the kind of movement found in the eastern traditions of Chi Gung and Tai Qi.  Both methods are designed to help move energy and eliminate blocks. Both are gentle workouts for the body and have been shown to bring a variety of health benefits. For anyone dealing with a backlog of blocks or who is aware of the blocks more than the average person, I would suggest keeping with a form of movement like Qi Gung and staying with it for at least a month with one or two session per week.  This is because some clearings take time to happen as well as once clearing does happen, you can sometimes get more clearings as a result of one clearing. Everything affects everything else.

There are a lot of very good visualizations to try when releasing blocks.  One is to stare into the block and feel your gaze breaking it up.  Another is to imagine a large hand opening up instead of clenching. Another is to imagine a river that is flowing and carrying you with it.  You do not control anything, you let the river take you.  Yet another very good visualization is imagining that your body is like a conduit or straw and energy flows through you unimpeded.  You let go of trying to be in control but become more of an observer.  By doing this kind of work, you can begin to shift your focus so that you can help to facilitate the movement of energetic blocks in your system.

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

Image © Stafford Artglass, Parker Stafford

By studying and knowing the chakra system you can learn more about how to dissolve a block.  If energy is stuck in one center, say, the heart, you can meditate on what the heart does and how the heart might be blocked and how to release it. For example, when dealing with root issues, like I have, I have found that I have been feeling emotional energy surrounding things like survival, nurture, and even abundance and sexuality. I can begin to get a clue about why the material is blocked, but knowing the basics of the center wont always lead me to the block, I have to allow myself to just FEEL it.  Somewhere inside of you, you do know the content of every single block in your body, but we do a lot to filter all of that out from conscious awareness. That is why meditation can be so handy. It can help to bring back into focus those things more on the edge of your awareness.  It is known, for example, that the left hemisphere acts as a giant filtering agent and that by letting down our “guard” so to speak, we can begin to broaden our awareness and filter less.  When you filter less, you also feel a flow of energy.  You don’t necessarily have to focus on everything that moves by, but being in a place where you can observe is very helpful as I am sure you can imagine.  Its different, but a very good kind of different and is within your own abilities to try.

The advantage of clearing is that you can better feel and hear the flow of the universe in you. If you want to know cosmic consciousness, this is a good way to do it; by reducing the noise!  It allows you to feel more clearly and it also helps to erase karma.  Being able to reduce karma in your life is huge.  By releasing blocks you are releasing also the vibration that the energy that has exerted all this time.  You will find, bit by bit, that you will attract based more on what you feel you want and need instead of constantly getting stuck on a karmic merry-go-round with different faces and names but the same behaviors popping up over and over and over.  It isn’t the world that needs to change, it is merely conforming to what you are.  It is you that must change if you with to attract a different kind of world in your experience.  The really great thing is that you can!

 

For years I have been aware of the energy therapy called Reiki that was developed by a Japanese man who lived up until 1929 who had an awakening and developed this method for helping to move energy blocks.  I learned about it as a therapy while speaking to a friend and psychotherapist who was beloved by many in our community as a wise and intuitive healer.  We were sitting in his yard and I was explaining that I felt like there was a way that one could heal a person through their energy field without talking to them, or even touching them, all done at a distance.  He smiled and said that I might be on to something. It was there that I learned about this therapy called Reiki.  Being the nonconformist and lone wolf, I never did any more than read about the basics of the discipline.  Having been aware of energy for years since beginning to see auras when I was 18, the ideas behind Reiki all sounded on the mark to me.  But I was not a joiner.  It was like some sense I had even back then that by not aligning to other methods that I would be more free to create my own or to see something perhaps more clearly….what, I was not sure.  Twenty years and an awakening later, this impulse has begun to make more sense to me in terms of what it is I am trying to do with understanding awakenings.

It has been seven years since my awakening began and in that time I have had clearings of old latent material from a host of different levels within the light body, what is also called the pranamayakosha.  This light body has sheathes or levels much like an onion.  The literature states that there are five layers in the pranamayakosha, but intuition tells me there are seven within the range of our awareness in the physical.  In all truth, I suspect more and more that the real structure is that of a cone, a continuous broadening of the energy body into ever larger dimensions of awareness.  This is where we begin to experience the higher self.  Here resides bliss which we can begin to learn to anchor in our bodies, thus marrying heaven to earth, which I know to be a big goal in my own life.  If it helps to think of this all as layers, then use it, but just don’t limit your thinking…..there is more to all of this and it is waiting for you and me once we are ready to see touch and taste it. The result of this clearing is that I have removed a great deal of material.  It has been quite the trip!  And if anything has been a certainty is that the movement of life force or kundalini has not always been orderly. It has gone where it could do the most work, it seems.  So the idea that it goes from root to crown is a nice idea, but for me, the material in my root has been the hardest most stubborn stuff to deal with and so it has remained throughout this journey.  I have become increasingly aware of just how important is has been to clear this area, but it has been an example of a big glitch in my karmic makeup.

I have observed that most people seem to have a small cluster of issues that form a hard center or core of challenges that often tend to repeat from one lifetime to another.  Being able to heal these patterns is a huge thing since by dissolving it in one life it can loosen the threads in all others.  In truth, the idea of time works only as it is being lived…..but in the larger perspective, alltime becomes more like a landscape where many more things become possible. An event, then, in the past effects the future just as much as a future event sends out energetic ripples deep into the past.  In a recent journey into my own life as a teen, I was able to slip into my dreamtime way back then and insert a brief but brilliant moment of wisdom to my younger self.  The effect the following day was nothing short of revolutionary.  Whats so  curios was that I can remember having a dream where a weird almost manic future self showed up in a dream I had, looked me deep in the eyes and told me one simple thing.  It wasn’t about how to win the lottery or anything like that.  It was the one thing that would make the single biggest impact; love.  Love as deeply as you can.  She is going to come around the corner in fifteen minutes and if you get on that bus, you will miss her.  Just wait.  Wait and you will see her.  Love is the way. The following day there was a subtle yet noticable difference.  In the same way that I have known that the intelligence of kundalini is itself a future self more refined looping back through all time into its version of the past, it is helping me to change the pattern that might have otherwise been my life the way it was going before awakening visited me seven years ago.  The future self is thus changed.  I am changed.  Doing this travel is easy to do actually because it involves no mass.  No body. Just the light body. Try it.  You might be surprised just how easy it is.  Increasingly as people are becoming aware of this as a possibility this sort of travel, when used for healing and growth, reaps huge rewards.  The future self, like a more developed you, perhaps even like a cosmic parent, can visit you right here and now.

So this root has had be hung up. This root has been about the death of a father, the loss of a mother, a small baby who was not loved enough, who did not feel safe, who shut down…..and was thus also part of a pattern of countless lives lived where children were left without parents, adopted, left to live as urchins on the streets in centuries past.  This glitch in my makeup wore deep groooves into my being. Coming into this life, I carried it as a big skip on my karmic recording.  It kept going round and round, the record playing the same full revolution, never getting past that one spot. So it has been with awareness that I have sought to lessen its effects energetically as much as I can.  It has been stubborn.  Over the last few months, the removal of other material has highlighted the root more and more.  I have become more aware of it in a singular sort of way.  I have felt a near-constant sense of nausea, a feeling of thickness energetically there. And so it was that when I heard that there was a group who did Reiki attunements in my area that I thought it would be a good idea to get to know these folks.

I went last night.  The air was brisk and as I entered, there were perhaps seven people working on two people in the room.  I chatted with one of the therapists as they completed a therapy session with a student.  In an interesting turn of events, I was explaining that I had had a friend and healer who helped to move a block in my sacral with the waive of her hand. It was so effortless it changed how I thought about this “work” that we do in liberating ourselves from these kinds of things.  What was so unusual was that during that visit, the person who had just hopped up from the table had been at the local farmer’s market in my area and they chatted while we browsed the booths.  So here he was, again, standing up just as I told how my friend had done this clearing for me when we had met this young man who was…..just getting off the therapists table!  We all had a big smile and I got on the table.

At first, I could feel the energy, yes, but nothing happened.  One of the therapists left mid way through as he had to leave to go to work.  After he left, the therapists changed orientation.  We spoke as they began to place their hands at different places on my body.  I explained what it was that was giving me trouble, that for all the clearing I had done my root was giving me a real challenge.  Everyone was gentle, kind, and supportive.  As I relaxed more and more I found that my awareness opened up and I dropped into what I call the zone.  Within minutes I felt a shimmering of high vibrational energy moving through me.  I could feel the therapist with her energy moving up through my feet into my legs, serving as a kind of tuning fork for my own energy.  Someone at my head cradled me. After some minutes the therapists changed position and someone new came over to my head.  This was where I felt like some part of my awareness went waaaay out.  Gosh, what WAS that?  I felt like he was almost bilocated to some other place…..a higher dimension.  I kept hearing the number “7” being said over and over.  I realized that this was my crown chakra.  “Oh right!  Crown!…..”  there was a presence in the room and I was suddenly standing with him over near where I first came in.  I was asking him something but he smiled and said, “you wont remember…..just keep with the attunement and all will be well…..”

A therapist asked if my neck hurt and I said that it didn’t.  In that moment, though, I felt a sudden thickness in my shoulders rising up out of my heart and I replied that while I didn’t feel physical pain, I did feel like a block was trying to move all of a sudden.  I felt a familiar kind of sense as though I was about to pass out, except I never did. This feeling always seems to accompany strong releases of energy for me.  I also can get a feeling of nasusea as well.  I was getting both at this point.  It was here that I mentioned how I felt the pain in my energy body from the root upwards into the sacral.  A therapist was already there describing it, which was when the energy began to move.  I had said earlier that I thought that maybe the energy would move quietly through Reiki, but I was beginning to feel a swelling of emotion deep down inside of me.

I felt as though I had been hurdled all the way back to an early time in life.  This was hard.  It was a hard, sad, and even scary time.  My father was dying and my mother was in turmoil.  I was very young, an infant.  I felt a swirl of emotion.  I felt sadness over not being loved.  I also felt grief.  I was aware of my father dying, of his absence and how important his presence was in my life during that brief time. It was as though I never got to grieve his death.  This was a light bulb moment for me.   I had always felt a kind of sadness related to him, whcih I of course associated with his dying so young.  But when I touched it, the feeling was incredibly specific.  You see, I had always thought if I ever touched these feelings they would just be vague senses of loss or sadness.  Not so.  Everything felt keyed into very specific things that were immediately identifiable in my life.  It was as though emotional energy had the capacity to interface with very specific memories or perhaps that memory is also buried within feeling (which I think is maybe not what we might think at first blush when considering these things).  The discovery was that even as an infant, I had never gotten to grieve his death properly.  All of that grief got bottled up inside me. This was actually very clear.  I was very sad and had not grieved his death properly.  At age 14 months, I was not taken to his funeral. Deeper still were all these layers…..I wasn’t good enough to be loved….that was why I had slipped into this situation…..I feared I was not lovable.  These waves of emotion came one after another as I felt as though I had been pressed into the first year of my life, back into a space where I felt very small physically but very big energetically.  Everything felt out of proportion somehow.

The therapists could not have been more kind and supportive.  There was gentle and loving laughter as we chatted between my fits of grief and sadness.  It felt like layers were being shed.  I was aware of an edge of being uncomfortable with really letting go fully. There were other people there on another table.  One therapist said for me not to feel funny just letting it all out.  He let me know it was not unusual to really howl if I had to.  After a few more minutes it felt like I had cleared a good piece of it.  I felt some relief and THAT was a real relief.  As I lay there I could feel how everyone was wanting to go home.  It was a very quick and simple end to the session.  I got up and found that I could not write my name or my email address for a few moments.  This was a bit unexpected, but I really felt like I had gone way out. I suddenly had a flurry of impressions about the people who had worked on me.  One man I saw scrambling around on rocks near water.  He said he loved to be outdoors.  The man who had been there earlier I said I saw as a cook in another life, one in which he valued quality, was kind of crazy about quality as a path toward nurturing people. They smiled and explained that he was having to go to his job that he hated, which was at a local restaurant where the quality of the food was poor.  He was hoping to get a job at a place that valued quality more.  I agreed that he really needed that and actually thrived on it.

For the next hour I felt similar to how I had felt after I had had  acupuncture  a year previously.  I was aware of feeling a whole new layer of feelings that had been stuck in the root somehow. I felt…..different……I felt a level of compassion that was different than before.  It is hard to explain but I saw some things in my life differently.  I realized I had been seeing them through a lens of the old latent hurt. I also was able to see how the hurt as it was composed had attracted certain people in my life and how it too had blinded them in a like fashion.  I saw more clearly how important it is to accept our own stuff and not seek to put it on to other people, something that I saw how others had done to me before and that I had done to others also.  I saw how I had only been hurting myself, but that I had also hurt others by allowing this distortion to persist within me.  This distortion disrupted my ability to align to my higher self in this clearer way.  As long as that was in the way, I could not know the subtlety of awareness and perception that existed beyond the realm of those old suite of clothes.

My sense is that while I had an intense session, clearings using Reiki will have different effects for people at different stages of their process.  Like an onion, you may find that you start in one place and progress ever deeper until you reach the harder places where the self does not want to let go out of fear or shame.  This process, though, is slowly revealing the beauty that we are within. And me, I am going back next week for some follow-up work.

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