Archives for posts with tag: divine masculine

There is a lot being said about “toxic masculinity” and on the one hand, it is a good thing. It means there is a growing awareness of the problem that men have throughout the world. On the other hand, most discussions revolve around how bad it is without much in the way of solutions. It is bad, but saying it doesn’t do anything to change it. We should (and can) do better.

The problem with so many of our issues is that we often use the same approach or reaction to them that are involved in the dysfunction itself. Huh? What this means is we don’t really address the problem. We are fighting fire with fire. We tend to get caught up in reacting and stay in that reactionary space.

Talking about racism, or violence, toxic masculinity, or any of our other ill does nothing to fix them so long as we come to the table with our feeling of fear about them. That is where the discussion is right now in the main. Fear? It doesn’t look like fear to hear people talk about it. It probably more accurately sounds like anger, right? But as any psychologist will tell you, or as any thoughtful person intuitively senses, anger comes from something. Want to guess where it comes from?

Fear breeds anger and anger breeds hate. It is the same with nearly every dysfunction that humans experience. And yes, most feeling people who are expressing about toxic masculinity have fear tied up in them. People are afraid of what a toxic male might do, and they are angry about this fact. The blogs are full of how much people hate this about men. Are you seeing now how these feelings are all intertied? But feeling this is only the first step. If you are only at the reactionary stage, you are doing nothing to help be part of the cure. This is a nonstarter that will leave us on an endless merry-go-round. We have to learn how to approach it differently.

The way through and out of this is the opposite of our fear. That is love. Love brings compassion, and compassion stills our fear and opens us to understanding, or at least the possibility that we can. The way to solving toxic masculinity is by probing it and seeking to understand its roots through a mind and heart that is open, and you cannot have an open heart when fear, anger, or hate are present. We need to learn a different approach if we are to ever resolve this issue…or any issue like this. This is step two.

I have experienced many of the inputs that drive toxic masculinity. Some of them have to do with the roles that we as men have been saddled with. These beliefs about what a “real man” is supposed to be are often the very things that give rise to this toxicity. This toxicity as it is called, is the result of unnatural beliefs about manhood, beliefs that unnaturally chain men as they grow and learn about masculinity. These inputs, the behaviors coming from our culture that inform males from cradle to grave, come from all sides of life. It happens early in life, usually from the moment a baby boy is brought home after having been born.

We are all culpible in this failed effort at raising males to be better adjusted as human beings. The influences are so pervasive that a male born to an enlightened household will still probably grow up having friends who give him a picture of what they believe being masculine is all about.

This means that women are helping to form these beliefs in our sons in a number of ways, and men also perpetuate them by believing that they are important enough to internalize and pass on to their own sons. We are all involved in this. Men do it as much as women do, the only difference is that women complain about it when they see the results of the behavior in their male children and the men they are either friends with or are married to. Men, because they are the ones internalizing the beliefs that lead to emotional toxicity, are just less aware of it for the simple reason that when you are the one with the belief, that belief serves to blind you so you don’t see it as well as a bystander can. How many times have you seen a man behave from a toxic place and maybe apologize but then go on to continue with the same reactive behavior again a little later? The problem is that if you are a bystander you are often only seeing symptoms, not causes, and you are reacting to those symptoms rather than doing what I prescribed earlier, which is what will lead us more dependably to the source of the problem so that it can be fixed. Men, for their part, have so internalized something that they know is poisoning them, but seem powerless to do anything to change it. To remove the bite from this poisoned apple takes what might seem a herculean effort. I observe that it requires patience and love.

To explain this issue, I have a video that is brave and brilliant, that I hope you will take a moment to look at. It is a TED Talk, which means that it isn’t long, and the speaker gets to the point. What she explains, as a sex worker, are the problems she sees with men that need to be fixed. What needs fixing involves a change in what we believe masculinity is all about. We know there is a problem, but reacting to it only guarantees that the problem remains. Once you watch it, I will have a few words to put this into perspective as it relates to my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns

So one of the biggest problems has to do with how we create a belief about what being masculine is about. Real boys don’t cry, mothers calling their sons their “little man.” These are the beliefs that become internalized. They are literal poison to mens hearts, minds, and souls.

In my marriage my wife described our son as her “protector” when he was all of two years old, a signal to him that has had disastrous consequences for his mental health and well being later in life. I know the causal link to this relationship dynamic because I was able to see how it began innocently at age two with my son, and continued through his growing years into adulthood. I saw how a child grew increasingly neurotic and troubled, and when his mother and my relationship began to dissolve, he became polarized by her bad boundaries with him so that his and my relationship also dissolved. His mother’s divorce became his divorce, too.

The problem with this is that while it might feel good to have a child that is exhibiting these traits, they can have disastrous effects on children in the long run. A child should not be called upon to be a caretaker, that is the parent’s job. For another, when all a child has is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Without his being able to understand what being a protector meant for him, this behavior served in his life to always side with his Mother and anytime she had a challenge, difficulty, or dissagrement, he was swift to come to her aid. Any time his Mother or I were not in agreement, guess who reflexively sided with his Mother? My son did. This created a sense that his Father, who loved him very much, might well be a threat. He was a child, really what did he know? It sounds like such a laudible trait, doesn’t it? He went on to have girlfriends, some of whom he felt were his job to fix or protect. It meant that he was naturally drawn to women who needed help. There is nothing wrong with helping a person, but when it is something that needs to be done on a regular basis, there is something amiss in that relationship. In our rush to follow our inner programming, we don’t always see the forest for the trees.

In this type of codependent dynamic, the male derives a reward for his behavior as a protector, making him feel important, and the female has a male that is attentive to her many needs, some of which are (in my life) based in uncertainty, anxiety, and fear (in the case of a codependent relationship). The male is in his own way also anxious and fearful (about being accepted), but most often neither are self reflective enough to even see whatis at the root of their behaviors. When you base a relationship on those qualities, you are effectively getting painted into a corner where both people remain in the pattern with little benefit to trying to break out of it.

This is one outcome of toxic masculinity. A boy is asked to do something completely counter to his own true nature because society expects it of him. He internalizes the behavior because of his desire to be accepted, and he suffers as a result. He is alienated from a father who loves him and he grows up angry and rageful because a child is simply ill-equipped to act like an adult. I can tell you that in my experience being mother’s “little man” or “protector” warps a male child’s heart and mind.

Males thus raised will wind up acting out because that boy or teen (or adult) is actively suppressing his truer nature, and his acting out is in turn hurting others, and the cycle continues adinfinitum. The problem is that he was brainwashed into believing that what was “out there” as a problem (the nail to his hammer) is now inside of him. A child doesn’t know how to properly protect anyone, so they are flying by the seat of their immature pants. Whoops.

The way out of this is to stop raising children like this to begin with. That means acknowledging that boys need to show love, compassion, and feel safe feeling their emotions instead of putting on a false act of pretending they are tough saviors and hero’s. Little boys are not little men. They are as tender and as sensitive as their female counterparts. The only difference is they are taught in subtle and overt ways that they should be something that does not fit them. Women are taught similarly, but with a completely different set of expectations. We dislike those roles on both of the ends of the spectrum, right?

When parents demand that their sons “man-up” or play the tough guy, they are robbing their boys of their humanity and their childhoods. The results are like what happened to my own son. This happens even without the dysfunctional element that was present in my particular situation.

This kind of programming isn’t always overt. Sometimes it is small, subtle, and often goes unnoticed. Thousands of miniscule things add up. When my then-wife came to me telling me with swelling pride about how our two year old son was her protector, I felt a stab of caution and concern. My impulse was to tell her that this wasn’t the kind of thing to be encouraging in my son. I thought how she would feel defensive if I did that, no matter how kindly I chose my words. I also thought that it was just a phase and that he would grow out of it, so I didn’t say anything.

I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.

Would it have made a difference? 20/20 tells me no, but you don’t really know for sure. I could have educated myself as a first-time parent and then sat her down, imploring her not to encourage this in our son for his own sake, and shown her the studies. I did not do what many parents probably have also not done down through the ages. We just kept kicking the can of paternalistic toxicity down the road.

I find that I often ask myself what I could have done differently. I always wished that he would suspend his disbelief in my love for him and spend time with me away from his Mother, something I knew could short-circuit the pattern of denigration she engaged with my children in an effort to destroy my relationship with my children during our divorce. She wouldn’t be able to comment on our time alone together without any degree of accuracy, which might be enough, I thought, for him to be able to see what a lie all of this was. That never was able to happen. By that time, my son was a walking poster child for so much of what is wrong with men. The thing is, I had married with an unacknowledged desire to be the knight in shining armor. You can never save a person who is not ready to be saves, who is not ready to grow and change out of old patterns.

Toxic masculinity is front and center for me in my life. There is no glossing it over. I know how it has affected me, I know how it has affected my son. We are all responsible for the fallout from it.

Reprogramming Our Men

Once programmed, men need safe places to be able to explore their God-given humanity. They need patience and they need to feel safe from being ridiculed for feeling in a sensitive way. Our culture is saturated with this false view of masculinity. When men have to suck it up when women get to gush and emote, you know there is a problem. Criticizing a man for being reactive only causes him to dig in to his old programming more. If you find yourself going for that stoic cowboy, then you might become part of the problem. Please don’t do that to anyone, man or woman.

Men have to take the reins and make an effort to not perpetuate this programmed set of responses. Men need to support other men by not trying to shame other men for being tender, or sensitive. Men must learn to hold the line with their women they are with and call out any effort they make to imply that they aren’t being manly enough, with false equivalences. Yes, it will mean walking away from women who exhibit these behaviors, but don’t look back unless there is real awareness on their part and an exhibited desire to begin changing their own programmed views and responses. A woman like this is not worth losing you soul over.

That said, a woman has a potentially fantastic power over a man to disarm and beguile him. Men are known to do anything for the woman he loves. This means that if a man is with a woman who has healthy boundaries, is not herself tied to the old modes of what being manly is about, she can, through grace and a gentle hand, show him the way to her heart if that way harmonizes with his own innate humanity. No false expectations, no tough guy bullshit. Yes, we are tough because of how we are built, but our hearts are as tender as anyone else. The problem is, you wouldn’t know this to look at most men. I promise you that it is there. The soft touch with great patience is what is required. You also have to know that you sre suited for this kind of work.

It will take time, but each encouraging word and action will have an effect. We can change this, but it wont change by just being angry about it. We have to love ourselves back into our existence and never again fall prey to the false beliefs that got us here.

Imagine what it could do: men whose natural aggresiveness is expressed in a more natural way where that aggresiveness is no longer laced with anger and rage. Men who are more sensitive, and less controlling. A man with something to prove often lacks the necessay approval of himself and will go looking for its substitute which is approval from others. By teaching him not to trust his natural instincts, he will look to someone to supply him with the false instincts that so far hasn’t served them well. All of this can be turned around, a cosmic 180º turn, but it needs to be important enough to begin integrating new behaviors based in authentic emotion instead of our culturally foisted ones. I say this as a man who has been through it.

The way through is with real love, not a false sense of compassion or anger and upset over it. Lets get this done for our boys.

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…And I am late!

In my defense, I was busy dealing with some big discoveries about divine union, the gods and goddesses and how our ancestors would use creative energy on Beltane to charge the earth for greater fertility for the new crops. Horned god and all of that.

And then along came orthodoxy and crashed our innocence and deeper connection with the forces in us and the universe! Don’t let them get you down.

​She’s made sacred by desire

Her great yawning passion

Whose throes 

are the forge

of creation

The multiversity rests

perched,

ready,

unknown

even to her

until the brilliant light enters

whose warmth stirs

and awakens

a celestial womb

draped in night

and buried deep

but moved by by his presence

so that

blooming

she opens deeper still

as everything in the illumine

is undone

revealed

taken and given

all at once.

These are ours

moments snatched 

from the infinite

a Sunday morning late in Spring

with tea and rain

drawing us into this warmth 

of presence

where divine

laden

springs.

I am working on the most difficult chapter in my book, which is going back into the historical record to show how Christian orthodoxy was an outgrowth of a much deeper mystical current that existed with the first Christian (Jesus), and that through the intervening years between his Ascension and the institutionalizing of the church, this deeper connection to soulful truth was lost.

It is a difficult chapter  for a number of reasons. One is bias.I am up against an entrenched tradition that is used to believing what it believes.  The other is a tradition that was built off of and drew from an earlier “doxos” (or thought) but lost critical aspects or concepts necessary for it to more deeply guide it’s followers to the depths of who they were. The other difficulty has been time. The sheer accretion of it as a belief system has made it a stumbling block, most notably for those with the most need for clearing a path within that leads both into themselves and into the vast realm that is the Kingdom. Lastly, it is challenging because so much has to be packed in to what must be a short and to the point chapter.

To untangle this has meant that I need to bring not just scholarly resources to the table, but the reality and experience of awakening as well. It means that I have to show how this first tradition was lost long before ink was set to papyrus, and how it most likely happened. 

The challenge that comes along with all of this is how the early church sought to scour from history those books and sects that actually served to birth Christianity before it was a state institutionalized religion. A lot of supporting material that I could have used has been lost. However, despite all of this, something amazing has been given to us in our current era. It came in the form of a time capsule, an honest to goodness time capsule buried in the perfect spot in order that it could survive the heresy hunters that have come and gone over the centuries as Christendom has grown.

In an interesting twist of fate, a man named none other than Muhammad Ali (no, not that Ali) uncovered one of the greatest finds to date of early Christian thought in the desert in Egypt just outside the town called Nag Hammadi. Without knowing it, Ali played a role in helping rewrite history by helping to bring forward the very documents the early church came to revile, and which it spent so much effort in burning, anathematizing, and demonizing.

While the Nag Hammad find took place in 1945, translations of the more than forty books were not completed and brought into the broader publishing world until about 1972. As a result, we are only now beginning to assess more deeply the impact that these books have had not only on how we conceived Christianity, but also ourselves at our deepest of levels. 
The reason why I am approaching this subject is two-fold. First, as Westerners, we have been touched most by Christianity than any other religion. Even people who are not members of a church or who buy into the faith at all are still affected by the reach of a religion whose values have threaded themselves into so many facets of our lives. Many people today might not be involved in the church, but very often their parents took them to church as children, or they have grandparents who did. Secondly, there is the issue of the truths and the path that could have happened, but didn’t, and how important the teachings were to anyone, regardless of any religious affiliation. Before there was a religion, there were brilliant messages that were plucked from the Light, which transcends all religions or institutions.
The story here, at its core, is about an infection. It is the infection of ignorance and how it can turn it’s own deliverance into a 1600 year odyssey of illusion. I know how bad that sounds, and honestly, I am grappling hard with how to strike the right balance in this one important chapter in WTI. Sometimes you have to know how to break the news gently. But this isn’t just about overturning a beloved institution. It is  not about that at all. It is in fact about a way to recognize that we have been swimming in the shallows all this time, and that a deep ocean beckons to be explored.
The problem that we face in the wake of the discovery and subsequent dissemination of the Nag Hammad Library into the mainstream is that the conversation about it has lacked a thread of continuity of knowing (or gnosis) when studying the texts that make up the collection. As a result, those who did the translating and the commentaries that accompany the books admit to being mystified by their central precepts. These books cannot just be read with the intellect, or with orthodoxy weighing heavy in the mind, but must, I feel, be read with the heart and the soul. These books ask of us something more than what orthodoxy ever did. It isn’t surprising to find that Christian scholars are so dumbfounded. They are inheritors of a tradition that never demanded that they utilize the hidden depths. It is now time that we did. What’s more is that people are  ready.
These books from the Nag Hammad Library, the best of them, ask us to take that leap into the unknown in order to retrieve or discover that which most of us have lost or have buried. This isn’t about facts and concepts, but a quality that IS us. Curiously, in some of the books, they provide the simplest and clearest means to reach awakening, which Jesus called the Kingdom.
To do all of this in one small chapter has led to the realization that this first book won’t be “the” book most widely read, but will be the foundation for a number of them. What gets laid down in this one small but potent chapter on Christianity will lead to a book that side steps the Orthodox journey and helps to bring a turn of mind and willingness to go deeper. More than a dry analysis of these “new books” from Egypt, it will show how they communicate the ineffable and help bring us closer to it, less by rational discourse and more by tapping our innate powers of feeling in order to conceive what is in fact entirely revolutionary in each of us. In an effort to set themselves apart from other religions, Christianity denied the very aspects that are universal to reaching enlightenment by hiding something terribly important to all of us.
The chapter on Christianity in the book I am writing now will be to wet our whistle for a deeper dive into what the origins of Christianity could have become. The book will examine all of the historical evidence and will ask readers to be audacious enough to step into the gap, their own unknown, to reach out, and in, to retrieve what is still missing in so many of us.
My dear friend and spiritual cohort who is one of the most gifted psychic intuitives I have ever met, said to me many years ago that there would be a book that I would write that would be the book, and it wasn’t the one I was working on then. This ruffled my feathers back then partly because I had so much time, so much experience, tied up in the effort of that manuscript that I had in front of me. But here it is, six years later, and as I begin working on this one chapter, I can feel the presence of an entirely new book muscling it’s way into my awareness. When Ali told me about this as we sat in the car at the gas station that rainy day, she said, “That book is already written, Parker….it’s just waiting for you to put it to paper.” Sometimes a wise man needs a wise woman to help him see the bigger picture.

Part of the soul of this new book is how we can change our world by being able to acknowledge one element, one simple aspect of our inner spiritual reality  that the Orthodox tradition swept under the rug right from the beginning. I sense, at this time, that it has to do with something that will only work if we begin to embody and practice it in our day to day. The way we are going about it now will only lead to a growing divide between all of us and our fundamental nature’s. We need to become aware and begin working now if we are to stave off what could become an ever-widening gap in our society and all of its institutions. 

How A Book Not Yet Written Catalyzed A New Paradigm For Men

What is so interesting about this is that in the months prior to beginning work on this chapter, I felt a clear need to begin doing a type of inner work with men.This was an unexpected realization, and it happened during a conversation I was having about retreats for women who were doing spiritual healing of their own. When asked if I would want to be a contributing partner in this visionary idea, I found quite suddenly that I really needed to work with men, at least at first. At the time I really had no idea about what that work would entail.  
The idea was firmly planted though, and it hasn’t budged a single bit since then. The earliest ideas began in my mind as a group who would first gather locally to begin revisioning the masculine, to, as a group, share and work together to come up with solutions that will aid in recreating the masculine experience and identity. This would be done without destroying what is the essence of what it is to be men in an essential way, apart from cultural expectations and programming. This local group would then be translated into a larger arena where workshops and retreats would be formed in order to reach a wider audience. That assumed that men would ready for this, and I personally see many who are.

Since then, without fully knowing what the content would be exactly, the concept has evolved very quickly into a means to effect a much needed paradigm shift. This shift will have the result of creating a space and knowing about how to heal our innermost spiritual, and emotional fractures related to masculine identity. The outcome of this, I sense, will be men who live very different lives and whose own healing will also help heal a new generation of women who have been yearning quietly for this sort of outcome, for this kind of man in their lives, be they father, brother, son, or lover.
I know that you might be wondering how this type of work is connected to a book on Christianity. It ties into fundamental beliefs about our identities which were supported and informed by the church. It has played it’s part in keeping a great secret from itself and us. This secret has the power to transform all of us. It is the missing ingredient that when added, is tranformative at the most basic and essential levels. Since paternalism had a hand in the early church, and because of the extraordinary scope of the reach the church has had on most Westerners, being able to see the church as how it could have been actually can show men how they can be today by correcting this one simple aspect that got hidden away by men. Men did this, and now we can each undo it. The results should be interesting to say the least.
Having said this, this work won’t be limited to heterosexuals since it will not be built on the old paradigm which has an often unrecognized or acknowledged codependency at its core. It will instead seek to bring healing and fresh thinking to the individual first, with the balance then achieved in the self naturally rippling outward with new effects, new eventualities, coming into the lives of those who participate. This will be driven naturally and organically as an outcome of this re-visioning process that will call upon, not coincidentally, the one aspect that the early Orthodox Church sought to hide, whether by ignorance or design.
There is a lot that I haven’t written about in specific terms because to do so would mean a number of posts. The main core of the work will in fact be incredibly simple because instead of this being a process of reshaping the selves of men, it actually serves to bring men to the one place within them that society has taught them to ignore. Instead of methods, finding this lost part of themselves will BE the method, the compass, the guide, the teacher. We have been envisioning this the wrong way, you see. 

What I sense that this awareness can liberate in men is an amazing relatedness to their deepest selves…this in turn will bring greater and greater layers of fulfillment which will be a healing balm for the rough edges we have had for so long. I am merely it’s facilitator. You are the healer!
It only takes a single pebble dropped in the calm waters of a self ready for change to effect this change.

Who knew what writing this one chapter might birth or clear the way for all of this to begin coming through?
For now, I have a chapter to write. Besides my own work that sustains me in my day to day, I have an outline to write along with how to include all elements necessary to make this book what it needs to be. Concurrent with this will no doubt be setting up the framework for my first group of men who are ready to take that first step into a new world.

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Today while clearing a workspace I thought about how ritual is used in the world to help us to anchor certain feelings and states of being. If you know me, I am not big on ritual. The reason for this is the result of years of seeking and pondering what it is that is behind the things we do. Part of it, too, is this aspect that is part of who I am that seeks the essence of things, the root cause. But for as much as I live life without ritual, I also know that when used in the right way, it can yield effective results.

So I cleared this work space after finishing some jobs for clients recently and as I did so I noticed how much clearer I felt inside. As I did this I found myself going into that familiar meditative state where I am ever present, yet also in the flow. I stepped outside and found myself pulled to a spot where I felt this wonderful whoosh of energy from the earth flow up into me. It then began a one-two rhythm of moving through my energy body, healing and clearing. I felt the presence of this conscious energy and felt the flow of information as it began answering the questions floating in my mind.  Less a hive of busy thoughts and more like, “And the answer to that question you have had in you mind, well….”  I was surprised to find myself feeling this energy flowing up through me like this…after all, I have spent years feeling the energy of the earth.  It goes to show that we all have so much to learn.

I have always felt how different the earth felt to me in different places.  For years I have noted the character of the energy was just so different….the result of the local geology, it’s position on the globe, lines of force near that spot as well as the life upon it, all contributing to an overall feel.  When I lived in Kentucky, I could feel the presence of a long standing strife from battles or struggles on the land…..more so than most anywhere else.  It felt OLD….only to learn that Kentucky had been fought over….over and over….by rival native groups for generations.  It all made sense.  Visiting the deserts of New Mexico and Arizona was an epiphany of sorts after living in the lush green rolling hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of western Virginia.  I found Sedona not the be the incredible thing people made it out to be…..a place that actually had some geographical karma of sorts that ATTRACTED a lot of people who were intrigued by its “vortices” never noticing what lay deeper.  I suppose we all get there in time, and really, maybe I am a geek where this stuff is concerned.

This, though was different.  I felt a series of thoughts move very quickly through me.  By clearing myself, I made it possible to pick up on this energy.  I felt it come through my feet.  Did you know you have chakras in your feet and legs?  I was just reading last week while doing some final work on the book that there are seven of them.  Hips are tied to lust, knees to retaliatory jealousy.  All of these are all tied to very negative traits.  While the observations may be correct, not sure I buy that there is only a negative side to all of this.  But be that as it may, I felt this tingling surge that felt wonderful as it moved up through my body.  It was actually a lot like what kundalini felt like before it fully rose in me.  A tingling.  It moved right up through my meridians and in the energy I could hear these wordless words…concepts or thoughts that were…..silent….yet also present.  As it moved upward it would pause and become focused on parts of my energy body.  It explained that two channels in both the Ida and Pengali were long ago injured….all of this was explained in terms of how I have attracted certain things into my life, like people and events.  If I was to heal it, I had to hand over the investment in the old hurt in order to feel this force run fresh and clear in me.  For the second time in about a year I felt the presence of what I can only describe as the feminine side of all energy move all around me showing me that in letting go, this issue would essentially go into this gestalt energy for recycling……redemption.  Letting go of it was the first step, the very most important.

The energy was like clockwork.  It rose and fell in a perfectly timed one-two count.  So, up for two counts and then down for two.  Ebb for two, flow for two.  This went on with a regular beat.  I saw how the sacred drum of North American tribes was based not on heart scattering syncopation! but on the heartbeat of humans.  I remembered how I had sat in on a talk by a shaman who came to town when I was in college and how he explained that this one-two beat was the beat of the earth.  I wondered, was this the beat he was talking about?

As I felt all this, the energy in the earth said something like “I am the feminine (winks) because this is how you can best relate to me….but I think we both know I am both feminine and masculine in the same way that ALL energy has it’s positive and negative polarities….with no man or woman being present…..but if it makes it easier to relate, then I can be all of that, more, or different…..”

I continued to hear this flow of information about some incidental things I needed to do that would help me with my energy.  It felt like healing, a scan, and a reading all in one.  I realized all of this came about because I was clear enough to feel it.  I had never felt anything like this tied to Gaia quite this vividly, as though my body became part of an energetic presence all around me.  I was standing directly over a strong line of energy in my backyard.  When I oriented myself I saw that this line ran very close to north and south.  I didn’t have a compass, but with the afternoon sun showing its way to the west, I figured the line as I felt it moving under me was very close to N/S orientation.

This led to including a short two-page chapter in ritual in the book, which explained why ritual can be helpful in finding certain feeling states.  All method and technique in yoga and meditation is based in this.  Ritual itself exercises both sides of the brain and can help us to feel the right way since feeling is the actual circuitry switch of the universe.  When you can flip that switch, you can flow with the world.  Sound crazy?  To understand, maybe it’s best that you buy WTI when it comes out, because I explain about this circuitry of the universe and how it is native to all things and how you can use it as an effective guide in helping you to identify the challenging parts in your life very quickly I order to heal them.  Most often people look at effects and point to them as the culprits, but unless you go deeper to the origin, you will continue blaming the world for your ills and will be like an ox going round and round the same way ox are harnessed to grind grain.  They walk miles and never get anywhere.  Welcome to the merry-go-round of karma!  And it is all yours.  So knowing how to change how you see all of this is the sea-change necessary for most folks to begin knowing how to relate to their trials and inner challenges in a more effective way for the simple reason that its means resolves back into the root of what is true; no one forced you to feel how you feel.  You made more choices that you may have even realized.  You, at the end of the day can argue about how bad life has been, and yet, no one is making you feel this way.  The path to freedom from these feelings is simply granting yourself the freedom to be……free.   Free from it all!  Kind of exciting, isn’t it?

So if ritual does it for you, use it.  Use it to direct your imagination…..for imagination is what allows you to expand beyond your physical limits…..paradoxically we also treat it as an unreal thing when it is SO important!  Imagination is what frees you to smile, to be seduced, to let go and feel more deeply, to see things in ways your never knew could be.  Please doing discount what your imagination can do!

In the course of these happenings, I was describing this experience to a friend who said she had not ever felt earth energy in that way.  What she described sounded like an exact opposite to what I had felt.  Now wouldn’t it be interesting to find that sexual energetic polarity affected how we related to and felt energy?  Well, in fact, in Tibetan Tantra, that is what this is precisely about, which is all a dance of energy.  Having felt my polarity “flip” during a past life experience involving a life as a woman some four years ago during a stage of releasing some old stuff from a past life, I found, caught up in rapt attention that everything I was feeling was still bliss BUT just HOW the energy flowed was….different.  It was the opposite from how my energy moves in me as the masculine.

The reason why I am saying this is because your results may feel very different than mine.  My friend felt drawn INTO the earth while I felt it flowing up into me and through me like I had become a node within a living circuitry.  And who knows, it may also be that these energies are so large and complex that you can relate to them in a myriad of ways.  Perhaps at a certain level all energy is itself unlimited and relies on the focus of those around it in order to perceive the broader aspects of it’s being.  What?  Everything is multidimensional.  Every atom, every star.  When we begin perceiving like this, we do so in a potentially broader way, right?  And the enormity of the experience is our touching on this multiplicity of expression in all things.  Like a diamond with all these facets.  You are one such expression…..and your ego helps to hold back the holy torrent of being and energy from knocking you over…..and yet, when you open the door a crack a trickle comes through.

Trust your instincts…..walk through nature…..practice clearing….feeling your insides being cleared away.  And who knows, maybe washing the dishes might do it,or sweeping up leaves or…clear, walk and don’t over think it.  Let your intuition have room to work.  When it worked for me, It did so without my needing to think about it.  I just stopped.  Clear, I had nothing else left except to feel.

Spring is on its way!  Yes, a few more months of cold and February is for us the hardest, but there is a feeling in the air that tells me is time  to transplant the raspberries NOW if I want to triple my crop come spring and summer!  Curled, just waiting for the trigger of more sun, bud wait in dream for the moment they begin to break free.  Ah!  My favorite time of year!  Here it comes!

waterishWe are taught in school and in our world culture that the mind is the way through solving all our problems.  We have done this because of a left-brained tendency for ages that has followed the march of linear rational thought and also an over-dependence upon masculine awareness, energy, and consciousness. Now come the cooler more fluid irrational, right brained things….the feminine, the counterpart to linear rational thought.  This is part of the balancing act that is taking place right now and right here on the planet.  The coming of the feminine.

The one thing that you can do in your own inner work to help to anchor some of these aspects that we associate with the feminine side of consciousness is to allow things be a mystery.  Stop trying to SOLVE every problem.  It is a curious reality that when you, little you, earthbound self-you stops trying to solve a problem, it actually is offered up to your higher self and the higher self works on it.  If you do as some Christians have done, which is “give it up to God” you will actually find the same thing I am writing about. Being able to do this also does something profound to you; it allows you to relax.  It seems counterintuitive that by stopping all thought and worry about something that is nagging us that we are able to resolve it so much easier, but it is true.

To do this you must make sure that you do not have any competing beliefs that will get in the way of this working.  If you find yourself interested in the idea of letting go of something and letting the higher self work on it but find that there is something in doing that that worries you , concerns you, or that you find yourself saying “yeah, but…” then its likely you have a competing belief that will get in your way.  If you do not believe you can, then you wont. Clear the path and your purpose will be clear and powerful.  This is part of your work. You are clearing a path for a giant to enter your life and do work for you.  And it can.  If you just allow it.  This is the giant that has stepped into the room with me when I awoke.  It is the vastness that came in when Buddha awakened.  It is the part of him that “awoke with him.”  You are the universe.  You are yourself, yes, but tied and woven into its very matrix.  You have some pretty powerful stuff on your side.

giraffe

Somethings just aren’t always something you can make sense of or solve.  How you feel, how you respond, or how other people have responded.  You may not always know the reason in a clear way.  But there is a part of you that can help to resolve it.  The answer may not always be the one you THINK you should get, but its the best one for you NOW.  Otherwise, its just as strange as our giraffe showing up in the photo above…

Another problem is that if you feel like you are supposed to solve the problem and that by letting go you are somehow engaging in an act of heresy or irresponsible behavior, well then, you have some inner issues to work on. Some of these can be niggling small.  Slivers, really.  If the power of the sliver is stronger than the power of your own intention, it is enough to counter anything you seek to manifest.

So let go.  Be vulnerable.  When you do this, you tell the universe that you are ready for it.  You are signalling a great deal of receptivity to it.  By doing this, things have a way of coming to you.  Be ready for miracles to happen. Don’t be surprised when you hear the footfalls of giants in your life.

It really is hard I think for many people to realize just how incredibly limitless they are, that the resources that they have are so significant as to render any problem or issue impotent and healed if only we could stop sticking  our fingers in the dyke and trying to hold back the vast rush of the universal energetic that is our souls. You wake up one day with the realization that all you are is a particle of water,  drop, really, but that there is this curious capacity you now have for merging your awareness into the drops of all other drops until you no longer see drops but feel vast seas and oceans surging and moving and flowing and this is all within you.  This is cosmic consciousness.  And I am sure someone like Buddha or someone similar had something to say about drops of water and oceans.

Once you feel this it is so authentic, you don’t need a teacher.  You simply need to remind and encourage yourself to keep pressing forward into that place where you can let go and surrender.  When you do, you signal you are ready for more.  “More” has a curious way of coming. The trick in all of this is not to worry over HOW the answer will come. Don’t worry about that.  I mean, if you do you might be entirely overwhelmed by the big footed movements of the giant as it comes crashing and moves all the furniture in your life….Your job is to remain simple and in the moment.  When you do this, you make youself available, ready, and receptive. Instead of being some kind of adversary, you will find that the universe has fallen in love with you and all the problems you have had or think you have aren’t the result of the world beating you up, but something inside of you that was off kilter. This type of awareness, this feeling of the universe falling in love with yourself is just the place where things can be seen in an entirely different way.  It is a radical shift in awareness and seeing/being. If you just let it.  Let yourself be seduced by it.  Go ahead.  Try. But in reaching that place, don’t seek to put controls on it.  Be like a child who has no expectation of what is going to happen.  When you do, you can better be led by this powerful force.  When you can’t do this, your awareness quickly shifts and drops right out of the sheath of awareness that is this state of higher vibrational being. Knowing when to activate the more receptive parts of your being with the more action oriented parts of yourself is a delicate balance, but when it comes to larger things, receptivity is a powerful approach that can lead you to unexpected places.  There is great power in this silence, this receptivity.  And in the end, you may not HAVE an answer to your problems because, well, those problems were just so gnarly, who would have been able to understand them once the transcendent comes knocking on your door?  It becomes like some distant foggy dream.  Sometimes things just need to be kept that way.

In this case, an empty mind is a very good thing.

Lets get honest.  Even in the most illuminated and seemingly spiritually advanced traditions, there is still a great deal of male chauvinism.  I hear people say how lovely it is that Shakti is conceived as the force of kundalini itself and must slowly rise up the body, refining herself as she goes in order to ready herself for her union with her consort, Shiva, resting in resplendent perfection in the crown chakra.  Or how, in images of Yab-Yum the male figure is the deity and the feminine aspect is his consort.  If you go to Wikipedia you will see this expressed.  In one fail swoop, the cosmos is rendered an all-male deity club where women must refine themselves to be worthy and where the women are merely consorts.  It is a fact that both forces of masculine and feminine rose within me AS THE FORCE that IS kundalini when awakening took place beginning in 2006.  The intense energy living in me was the locus of the union of these two forces now vibrantly alive in my body.  I was one with the father and mother.  They were one within me. It was I who had to refine myself, to catch up.  Both sides of the energy cycle had much to teach me, both the north and south poles of the vibrant nimbus of energy now licking like sensual flames all over me.  But we speak of the feminine having to refine herself and no one so much as bats an eyelash.  Does anyone bother to stop and look at these stories and realize that all the god stories and goddess stories are merely stories about us written large against the spiritual skies of our inner world?  Who realizes that when we began looking to see a deity in the clouds or sky that we had defacto set that deity apart from ourselves, placing a VERY frustrated and angry and probably sexually frustrated bearded male god in a untennable situation. Well of course he would smite and destroy.  Who wouldn’t? And where on earth is the softening aspects of the feminine in all of this?  Without her we have had ten thousand years of stiffened hardened madness.  And look at how this has played out in humanity. So the feminine inside each of us, EACH of us, is vital but so is our awareness of them…..

As long as we continue to do this, we continue to turn a blind eye to our own divinity because what works here on the small level also works on the larger spiritual levels as well. The curious thing about belief (and its brother named bias) is that you wont experience a thing that you have barriers erected for. This is how for centuries people have seen women as lesser to men, essentially like cattle to be traded and sold in marriage.  Little more than slaves.

This is changing in a big way.  While change has been gradual and perhaps too slow for some, it has nonetheless created a change that does not show signs of changing back or reverting anytime soon.  Yes, we  still have the throwbacks, but on balance, things are better than they have ever been. And they can continue to keep getting better.

Here is my contribution….

Below is an image from the Hindu tradition of Shiva playing his flute to his consort, Parvati, a manifestation of Shakti.  Shiva has the nimbus around his head in green, but Shakti does not. Perhaps she is having to refine herself, her energy, before she has the same radiance as her consort Shiva.  As someone who reads auras, I can tell you that the energy surrounding women is every bit as brilliant as that around men. In some cases, it is stronger in women than in men. This makes sense since women will bear life and will have to carry this new life with its own energy sheath in a protective manner.  Having a strong bio-energetic field could have its benefits.  I show you the image just as I came across it and then the image that I changed to include a nimbus for Shakti. Hers is violet, which suggest intuition.  It is a nice warm color yet very spiritual, a nice counterpoint to Shiva’s halo.  I hope that you use this image to help raise awareness in a simple way that BOTH of the sexes are equivalent.  Please feel free to do so with attribution.  A nice remix of sorts.  It is a small thing, but is another drop of change that we all need if you ask me.

Shakti:Shiva

Shakti-Shiva2

The problem sometimes with ones own spiritual work is that we allow ourselves to get caught up in the work of others.  This is a trap that we can easily fall into and it has the effect of rendering our own path and work compromised.  It isn’t that we can’t work with others, no, its that when we seek to compare our path to another that we wind up getting in trouble.

When we compare ourselves to another, we are no longer dealing with ourselves.  We look out across the patchwork of backyards and we see the Smiths and the Jone’s and we begin the comparison process.  Everyone is different, everyone has their own challenges and lessons to learn.  When we start worrying over what the backyard of another looks like, we forget what it was we were involved in.  This becomes the wedge through which all kinds of things enter.  With such a strong reliance upon the ego, the sense of differentiation between “me” and “the” becomes distorted, exaggerated, and we lose sight of what it is we need to be attending to.  They eye of your heart is best served by keeping it on the prize, which is you. This isn’t to say that you don’t care about others, you can and should, but when you seek to judge others for that which rests in your own field of inexperience and lack, you become not unlike a Pharisee, which is a nice way to say “hypocrite.”  The problem is that its so easy to do, and we all do it.  Learning the lesson of self love includes, I think, keeping our eyes on what matters most, which is ourselves.  The moment we begin to compare, we have a world of differences at our disposal.  The differences will always be there and they can serve to trip us up and get us tangled in what should probably best be kept in the past.

Someone once said do not seek to point out the mote in your neighbors eye when you have a beam in your own.

We are all imperfect.  We are like balls of clay that we are kneading into more perfect form.  In awakening, the higher self serves as a kind of template, what Jesus called the Mother and the Father.  I know you may not be familiar with the Mother part, but old documents suggest quite strongly that this was what he was talking about and that he used these very terms in describing the Kingdom which is made up of two currents moving in the body, a source-point of higher consciousness, a more expanded sense of awareness that is what you are.  For the Hindus. it was the Shakti and Shiva that served as a cosmic template.  There is no one culture or tradition that has any kind of monopoly on these ideas, for they spring as fresh and as real from our innocent realization as buds from a cherry tree.  These two higher forms of awareness can serve as a perfect example for you.  This is the part of you that actually exists outside or independent from time so that the usual rules of causality and exploded.  This means you have this wonderful “cheat” or short cut to knowing how you can be.  In the same way that a parent will offer you, as a small child, a better was to respond, react, or to be, so too does this cosmic template offer you the way out of your own dark corners and discontent.  It isn’t anything that exists outside of you. None of this is anything you must right in another….for certainly we should by now be able to see what happens when we seek to make it right in another (no matter the merits of doing so).  We have the Crusades, endless wars, the Inquisition, the Dark Ages, invasions to help bring freedom to poor insufferable souls, and Witch Trials.  All of this because we each felt we knew what was best for another, all because we saw the mote in our neighbor’s eye instead of taking care of the beam in our own.

It isn’t in your neighbors yard or in some far-flung country or ashram.  It is in you.  And when I say this it isn’t like it is some nice thought to consider; it is true from the top of you to the bottom of you.  Its like you were given this marvelous kit with all the tools necessary to get things right within.  If you think to yourself that you could not even imagine how that could be, then take that thought and look at it carefully and learn from it that this is the extent to which we each have been blind to its presence in our world…within each of us.  But don’t worry; I didn’t know that it existed within me either.  I only had a distant sense that whatever I was going to find out, it wasn’t going to be about something outside myself.  It would be within me. Set the world right within so that you may properly know the world without.  Without doing this you shall not see or know that which is ever-present around you moment by moment.  With all of our own self loathing and unhappiness about ourselves I know it can be easy to look and compare, but don’t.  Take what you have been given as well as the accumulation of all the things that you yourself have created up to this point and say “I accept all of this and will begin working on it right now.”  Then go into that silent garage of your soul, the temple of your highest holiest place, the lab of your own inner creation, or your ocean of being and begin doing the work.  Observe, feel, ask yourself the question, not your beighbor “what is it I most need to know right now, what must I attend to in this moment?”  If you are quiet enough, observant, and receptive, the answer will come.  And sometimes it will be pretty obvious.  Maybe the answer will be “quit looking over the neighbors fence” while at other times the answer will not be so cut and dried.  You might have to just let yourself FEEL without expectation.

When you get to this place, you are so much more centered. Quiet and observant, you can better become aware of all the loops and memes that play through your being at any given time of the day.  This will further help to cultivate a deeper sense of awareness and a meditative state.  Life itself becomes a constant meditation, not a distraction.  You go from being reactive to proactive.  You go from slave to your feelings to a master of them.  How long this takes, I don’t know.  I am not you.  Maybe it takes years. Maybe it takes lifetimes.  Maybe it can begin to be cultivated and put into practice within a few weeks, or even right now.  But right now is what you have.  the past is gone, the future keeps slipping one step ahead of you, so the NOW is the point of power for you where all change can take place.  Don’t worry how long it will take.  Be like a child and be curious about all of it and don’t worry about the time factor.  It will come when you are ready.  You aren’t going to change any of that anyway, so letting something take you out of the present isn’t going to be very productive I don’t think.

The other problem with looking over the backyard fence is that we see what we want to see.  We see through our own filters, our own lenses. Someone will see an old craggy plum tree and think “my goodness, that tree is so ugly it needs to be cut down” while the owner might say, “plum tree, I planted you when I first married my wife and I have had four children, lived in three homes, , had two different careers, and now all my children are grown and my wife has died and I am all alone in the autumn of my life, and here you are still bearing the most delicious fruit….

I have had some hard lessons in this area with people who could not or would not see things clearly that was in my own backyard.  I allowed myself to get caught up or hung up on what these very misguided people had to say, and instead of getting a chuckle out of it, I let it affect me.  I became too concerned how others viewed me, a kind of reverse form of the whole motes and beams idea, and yet it is all still very much the same thing.  Why on earth would I have let someone shake my confidence about how lovely my old craggy plum tree is?  I told myself that it was because it was the mother of my children doing this, so I had to correct the noise being generated.  “There are plenty of people looking to crucify and tear you down.  Why let them knock you off your game?” my inner voice would say.  So these kinds of things served as the focal point in my own work, which is to heal that part of me that might be hurt or affected by the harsh judging words of me by others.  “Stop looking over the fence and look at your own backyard,” it cautioned.  You see, we all do this, so saying this is a reminder to me as much as it is to you.  Maybe moreso for me.  So you never can judge for yourself the worth or importance of something in a person’s life. Of course you can, but then, you will most certainly lose sight of the very things that you need to work on, which is that beam stuck in your eye.

 

I have written extensively about this on other blogs, and I am now putting it here as it is a very important aspect to where we are headed as a species.  This is not a spiritual thing, a nice idea to hold or to cleave to.  It is part of the inner workings of the divine cosmos, the air, the atoms, the vibrations of all energy. What we have come to call the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine seen in myriad forms from Shakti and Shiva to the Goddess and the Horned God or Cernunonos, these images express an infinitely broad aspect of all reality, all being, all experience.  What a physicist describes as an energy pattern of positive moving to negative, the Hindu describes as the natural continuum of energy between these seeming opposites.  The images, the symbols, are merely that, and yet, within the electromagnetic spectrum wherein our own experience rides, we feel these currents as the bedrock of our very experience.  You can make this as personal or as impersonal as you want to; the presence of these forces are so broad, they are simply everywhere and are everything.

 

The reality is that even as males and females are seen as distinct, they both carry the chemistry of the other within them.  the most manly of men produce estrogen and women rely on some testosterone for normal bodily function and the regulation of libido.  We all have oxytocin in our bodies, that interesting hormone that is known to play an important role in pair bonding and family unity.  It is also a neurotransmitter (true!) and we all have it.  In just the same way, consciousness carries aspects of both masculine and feminine perhaps in less rigidly formed ways within us.  When kundalini rose in me I was aware of two energies that were in perfect union and that the very force of this energy was not one of the other, but BOTH.  The bliss from this force was the union.  When I pulled awareness away from this perfection in union, bliss ceased and I became really quite ordinary. Luckily, it took a very strong emotional force or “constriction” to cause this to happen.  We are, whether we know it, top to bottom, operating on this seemingly “dual” energy which appears to be in all truth only workable when it is in union, when they work dynamically together.

 

So look at our cultures as a subset of this union concept.  If these “two” are everywhere, top to bottom, then you will see it reflected in everything, including a culture. To understand how this union of these opposites is at work at the individual level, you can look at the culture.  Look at the institutions, the laws, the rules, the taboos, the beliefs.  All of these will be a perfect mirror for the body of the dimension as a whole.  For this dimension, it is a culture or a group.  How we reflect or are aware of these two determines how they are expressed.

 

Step back and look at humanity across the globe and you will see a real slant towards paternalism that has been going on four many thousands of years.  The Goddess, the yin, has been swept under the rug in our awareness.  Women have been persecuted in big and small ways, limited, marginalized in big and small ways. This effect has happened on the individual level and it has happened to ALL of us.  Even women. Over time, even women themselves have come under the beliefs and biases that have kept them limited.  This, though, is beginning to change.  As each individual person, regardless of their own sexual orientation physically or psychologically, begins to step out of this old pattern, we will, and are, seeing change take place.  Yes, this change has been slow, and yet it has been steady.  People are waking up to how things CAN be and the Goddess is returning.

 

There is a ways to go.  We know this.  And yet, we will continue to get there and as we do, we will literally build a collective bank of energy that helps to bring the unfathomable force that is the feminine in the universe to bear in our world. You simply cannot believe the changes that will take place as we make the change individually within.  You may not believe that it is possible to change things in this way, that it is akin to thinking things into being, and yet, in truth, this is what we do all the time. All great movements begin as ideas. All creation begins with the act of INTENTION. I know that in my own experience, in my own life, post awakening, that the things I have been able to accomplish, the greatest of them, did not involve me lifting a finger.

 

It is interesting, as a side note, to mention the lesser-known Gnostic texts in which Jesus is speaking about a process that takes place that he called the “kingdom.” In it, he maps out the very process of awakening.  He didn’t use the Hindu language set, but he used one that is entirely consistent with kundalini.  But as those who know who are awakened, kundalini is not a religion or philosophy, but is a HUMAN experience that happens in every culture, we just have different names for it, a different language or vocabulary for it.  He explained that the singular self knows resurrection by way of the presence of the Mother and Father within.  This was also called Pistis, Pistis Sophia, and the Holy Ghost.  they were all used interchangeably enough in these texts that we know what it was they were talking about.  He described this as the one being two and the two then becoming one.  You begin as a person who seems to be a singular person but then awaken to the reality of these two forces within called the Mother and Father.  These then are in union and thus become one.  He explained that you resolve all division within yourself to achieve this.  To do that, you resolve any hitches in your awareness that are helping to keep the awareness of this subtle force at bay within you.  Then, after this, one enters into what he and others called The Bridal Chamber.  This was so called because of the bliss that the union of these two forces created in awareness.  In kundalini, this is the bliss of the union of Shakti and Shiva.  I feel this force everyday, all day, if I allow myself to simply remain perfectly perched on the crest of the wave that makes it all possible.  I remain in union with them, and their union creates a third force, the Christ.  And Jesus was very much about helping birth Christs.  And this Christ, while embodied in a man’s teachings, is not something that is male or female.  It is the very bliss of union that creates a transcendent state.  It is this transcendent state that he explained brought on something he described as “When you are destroyed.”  This is consistent with what the Hindus call ego death.  This is the severing of the head which is shown in many images in Hindu culture.  This is the loss of the usual sense of self as Kali severs the head and attains dominion over the self.  This is symbolic language for what kundalini shakti, expressed as the feminine force coming into awareness, does to us.  We become less mental, we become more like her; intuitive.  Yes, Kali is a severe expression, but it also expresses the inevitability of the process whereby a true breakthrough is only possible with the severe action that kundalini will bring to you as you go through the loosening of the bonds that you have to your old configuration…..your head….your ego.

 

Jesus then says something important, and key.  He says that once this happens, when you bid the mountain to move, it will move. You do not MOVE the mountain, you simply use your intent to make it so.  This sounds miraculous, and yet, miracles follow many who are awakened.  I know that for me, minor miracles follow me on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.  And it might seem miraculous, but in truth, it is part of a larger understanding of how the universe works.

 

So yes, we can sit still and bid great change to take place.  It depends on your capacity for knowing how to work with this energy, and the locus of its effect emerges from you through sheer will or intent and if nothing stands in the way (via bias or hidden belief) then it will happen. So yes, we have way more power than any of us might want to realize or admit.  But we do.  With it comes great responsibility because as the energy gets higher and knowing increases, there is a great potential for falling flat on your face and building huge karmic entanglements.  I know.  What I though was just the universe bringing me things I later realized was my own presence on this wave and I was causing it all to happen.  Instead of believing it was the universe, I had to realize the causal relationship between intent and event.  When we can get this honest, we can also save ourselves a lot of error.  Sure, it IS the universe bringing you this in a sense, but there is no one granting you something because some deity decides that it is right for you to have it.  It doesn’t work that way, and this is important to realize as we grow up energetically.  We were given this huge gift of free will, and it is this that makes us creators. Godlings. Now don’t let that go to your head, but focus on the important part, which is anything in life where there is great responsibility. With this freedom is also responsibility.  Now own it.  Owning it will also cause you, most likely, to look at your own shit.  I know that is a bit of an indelicate term, but it is one that hits it hard and clearly with no equivocation.  It is the dross that we need to remove.  And here we have great opportunity to make huge change in less and less time.  Like a snowball rolling down a hill, this process can gain size and momentum very quickly.  It is, I observe, growing day by day. Three weeks ago I was listening to a broadcast on women in politics at the state level and it was so hopeful to me to hear these women speaking about their concerns and how these were translating into shifts in policy.  These women were all looking at the big picture and asking what would the results be for everyone when a certain policy is changed.  they wanted to see the biggest benefit not to key individuals, but for the whole.  This is huge and can literally begin reforming our political landscape. Twenty years ago, the closest that a broadcast would come to actually covering things like this were when women would speak about what they would do if they ran for office.  Well, now they ARE in office in greater numbers and the change is taking place.

 

The entrance of the goddess in all her forms is coming, and we can give her a warm landing spot by simply holding her presence in each of us.  We all have her in us.  Me, a masculine man has learned that this force does indeed live inside of him.  She humanizes me both as a force that is part of my psychological makeup and also operates at a level that appears almost archetypal.  She has begun to turn around inside of me enough for me to experience her as a definite presence that has aided me in moments of great healing.  Without her in us, we are bereft of the very tools we need to become more whole. This, though, has not changed me into some sort of androgyne.  It has made me more aware of the importance of the feminine current in all things.  It has made me more aware of how she fits, how she works in all things and how important her presence is in ALL of us.

 

The biggest way to effect change is to simply BE the change.  How do you go about doing this?  You do it moment by moment.  Be aware of your thoughts and feelings.  Do you think first or act first? Which side of the dynamic are you working from moment to moment?  Are you overly harsh, do you plunge into things without exercising your intuition?  Or do you wind up feeling too observant of the range of possibilities and thus feel stuck unable to decide? Being able to balance all of these traits will bring you to a place of balance within….a kind of unbalanced balance.  If you are a male, being able to soften your edges with HER can be a huge benefit as it will make you more compassionate, and great leaders are also compassionate.  Despots have no compassion, and people fear them.  Do you want to rule in love or fear? The notion that a soft approach wont work because people only understand force is one notion that is erroneous. We are showing how this can change the balance of power over and over.  As countries seek the old paradigm to accomplish their political ends, more and more people will grow tired of it and demand a change.  Gradual at first, but the snowball grows.  As I soften, as I am more compassionate, I am able to relate to my children in an entirely different way.  I can now offer them opportunities that I could not just five years ago.  My daughter is now being nurtured by a man who is much more aware and cognizant of his actions, and she will grow up having known a father who is more considered, who is more balanced, and she will go on to year for a mate who will more closely follow the man I have become.  Because that is just how raising children works out.  Daughters often seek what is familiar from their early lives in some fashion just as sons do. As a result, I am rewriting the future not just for me, but for my daughter and for every person both she and I come into contact with.  Imagine if a million people were to do this.  The effects are huge.  A small pebble dropped in the water has far-reaching ripples.

 

Maya Angelou in a talk a few years ago spoke of how small things become big things and she did this by telling a story about her life growing up.  She was sent to her grandparents to live with them, and the small things they did for their family had long reaching effects later in those children’s lives.  It was really a beautiful story that only Maya can tell in the same way.  And she was then able to speak to others about the power of such small kindnesses and shifts that we make and inspired entire audiences to consider, if only for a moment, what their own individual actions might do to bring change.  We ARE the change.

 

So the answer, if there is to be one, is not in letting the pendulum to swing far into the goddess realm, but to once and for all seek a balance between the two.  Otherwise, we just keep the polarizing effect of the swing of energy to keep going on.  We do this by simply making the decision to do things differently and to not behave as victims.  It is easy to sit back and say how bad men have been to women as if the men now are involved in making the same inroads to persecution that have happened in the past.  As long as we put the sins of the past on the present, we merely carry those sins forward and keep the wounds fresh. Men will feel defensive and under the gun and be less capable of finding that shining self that is beyond all the dramas of the past.  Likewise, women will teach themselves again the way toward power is in using their prior victimhood as a source of power, a great shield against which they protect themselves from the world and for what is.  We all wind up poorer for it. For this to work, it requires honesty, bravery, and a lot of compassion and a willingness to let the past be the past.

 

 

When we are able to do this, we literally write a new script for the future.  NOW. We let the past feelings go and begin identifying with a new way to be. All of this takes great strength and compassion and bravery. And we wont be perfect at it always.  But in time, we will see women who are coming into entirely new experiences of the Goddess within simply due to the past limits they and the rest of society placed on them.  They will be less afraid, and will explore the great depths of HER more. As a man with the vision to see HER presence, I can tell you that there is so much more we have yet to uncover and experience.  The awakening of the goddess within will also serve to bring out the god within each person also. The frailties of the man will be healed at an ever-increasing rate as men also become less afraid to express their fundamental natures or essential selves.

 

John Farnham once wrote a song entitled “You Are The Voice” in which he explains that we have the power to write what we want to write, to change the world….the power is in our hands.  Yours. Mine. Hers.  His.  I promise you, as you step upon this path, there is no end to how deep all of this goes.

Nemasté

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its is like you have been holding your breath for centuries, a spirit dormant beneath the ice, awakening to a thaw like some signal from a still distant sun….a cosmic messenger leaking out through all eventualities.  This thaw is in no way limited and is building powerful thresholds.  In this time, in this place, in all places.  It is what is.

But that is the clean version.

We are returning to love.  I am. The trembling lips of its knowing sleeps within each of you, but can slowly wake up as the petals of its bloom peel back like an eager lover of the sun for a still deeper opening to what can no longer be denied.  This love is not a love for anything, but a living presence that is a compelling mystery that keeps its secret on my lips, changes my gait, and changes my smile.  It warms the cold, brings day into night, and embraces me with a  persistent current that invades every aspect, every cell, body, soul, spirit, mind, body, heart, and loin.  It has entirely invaded every corner, every piece and shred of me, burning away the dross like a tender but persistent lover, to return me to a powerfully potent presence, to make me ready for the union with its rich source of life.  Its desire melts me, boiling and refining, I am made to rain down like a summer storm.  It shows me the way of lightening and thunder as my essence rains down upon her waiting lips. The whole earth becomes like this.  Every atom contains Her, every shadow, every stolen moment, everything that is has its compliment that is the other half of the presence that makes things real, manifest.  I see and feel their dance in everything around me as it seemed to awaken just as I did.  I think though I was just a later arrival to a gathering of soulfulness that has been on since the beginning of things.

When I woke, the world woke with me.  The breeze carried it, rich and potent, dizzying in pleasure.  Pollen was thick in the air, its nutty smell invaded my senses and reminded me that all life is like this, even if nature speaks in a language mute to our normal senses.  It was the single greatest gift one could have received; my soul now pulsed with a  life so strong that it would leave many red faced and gasping.  Passion moved through my blood like a current of fire, an ancient pathway to the Holy of Holies.  Beyond ordinary love, this was sacred fire.  It had claimed me; before all of this I was an orphan to all I had known, a pilgrim on a very different journey that did not entirely make sense.  All I had been seeking became a memory and was packed up into boxes as I lost my old life to find myself resurrected, a secret life that will come to each of us in our own perfect timing.

A brilliant kind of life lives inside of me, a golden wonder, an energy that is a visitor and guide, strong hands that never err and fills my mind with certainty and knowing.  In its hyperversal chambering, I know myself as the divine masculine, my awareness has skipped through thousands of years of error into pungent truth and brilliant illumination where nothing hidden could remain obscured, but found, revealed, atoned and blessed.  The truth in me is the truth that lives, and the truth that lives is love.  To own it is for some may be difficult, for it requires total honesty to enter into its mysteries with joy.  Anything less and it is bliss hindered by struggle.  And it is a struggle we all know and are ready for what surely must be.  And shall be.  Taken, it will keep you.  Seduced, it will show you its wonder.  It will lift you and show you what was missing from the old error-ridden religions as it banishes you from ever following in the old ways.  You will return to the religion that has no religion.  It shall be one of no laws save one, no books save its light which illuminates all books.  This is the religion of love.  It does not reflect, it does not observe, it is itself its own reward and finality moving into each moment fully present and invading everything with its rich sense of possibility.  It is nothing but pure freedom and perfect accountability, for this love would  do nothing outside of this.  But forgotten are the books and words of saints and priests, priestesses and mongrels alike.  This one light does not ask of you to be a follower, it inspires you to lead yourself to your own inevitable truth.

There wont be anything to follow.

You do not follow what you are.  And this is the rich difference.  There are lives curled up within this one.  Countless worlds shoot in and out at every second as all of their untapped potential rises into this one, all lines and paths that you were, shall be and could be all intersect in this powerful moment informed and embraced by this great passion and ecstasy.  Everything I had ever felt resistance with in me was given a new lease.  The slaveholder himself passes into his own glory and is redeemed, forgiven as the heart grows into a nearly incomprehensible wonder that cannot quit and is the source and axis of the All.

I translate this love into ordinary words and in simple ways for the uninitiated.  Purely spoke, it is like a fire that cannot burn that which is not prepared.  With compassion given to all, I am free to live my life and to sing this song that opens my soul, a great chamber bearing a bride ever-present glistening with the hope of knowing her own greater mystery.  He lips glisten in moonlight and her heart bears my name.  Her hips gently sway to the rhythm of a great inner ocean.  She knows every secret I could ever be and has made an agreement outside all of this to bring this into this world as a great gift.  In an instant all that was hidden is revealed.  All that I dreamed I became.  A silent and certain presence wells up within me, a pulse so strong.  It is a thunderbolt that swims through all things and strikes into their core, cracking them open.  The secret life of all in its dream is known.  There is nothing that cannot be known, for in this communion everything gives up itself as the universe in me seduces and enlivens the universe without in this simple knowing.  Everything yearns to be known, and if not known, then that which knows it and gives it that missing piece of its awareness, like a lost piece of some forgotten puzzle that slips seductively into place.  The universe is wed to itself in just such instances.  We undo the centuries of division that divides us from everything else and nothing is not without its capacity for this union.

I live a life rich in its simplicity.  I can sleep in beds draped in silk or on cold concrete and remain in utter bliss.  Rivers were my bath, the sun my light.  I tore away the old agreements and illusions that money could keep me or any soul could tell me anything less than what I am.  It is itself a pulse of certainty, inevitability.  I am returned to joy, my body returns to a state that is golden.  Heads turn when I moved like a slip of a ghost in a world of shadow.  Resolving brilliant around a still deeper core, I am a living presence that bears a trailing flame of passion, not profane but  profound, unexpected, nuanced,  the scent of a jungle flower.   This love ripples through me not for anything.  It is now what I am.  Its presence scatters illusion and I rest easy in its truth.  If what I am is a heresy, then lock me up for I am guilty of this one great wonder which shall always keep me free.  I shall remain free but forever bound by its passionate promise to return me to its great love.

My hands tremble now in sympathy to its pulse.  My shoulders are strengthened, my mind is made like a temple, my heart consumed by a sacred fire which fills the halls with light.  Beneath, an eternal wellspring which shall be that part of me which taps the universe, a deep thundering ecstasy which fills everything I touch with that which is true and which my soul reads as it is delivered to dream outside of illusion.  This return to love is a return to ourselves, not an abstraction or idea, but a living presence so fine, so delicate, so promised and wondrous that it shall make a lover out of all.  It has me.

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