I found this to speak so closely to my experience, what I strive for, what I have encountered, what I strive for more…truly, not as effort, but as what naturally arises as the self is purified more and more. More work to do, but his words are so on point…
Archives for posts with tag: divine love
Do you think that this was going to be easy
this love I bear in you?
Everything else
is like a mad scramble
like the screams of monkey’s in the trees
-it is how the mind is.
Sink into forgetfulness
and into the bliss
a warm buoyant presence
rises up all around
it makes others so ripe.
So you chase after me
day after day.
I know how hard it can be sometimes
this vagabond life you lead
having given up so much
for nothing else but this one thing
that rings through everything.
Like a vast thread
with no beginning or end,
constantly being thread through a needle
-desire drives it forth.
But just as you chase after me,
I turn ’round and chase after you;
mirror and reflection find their union
in a sweet simple embrace
of equal measure of fire and coolness
that breeds the incorruptible beauty
that we all know
but cannot adequately express.
I am waiting for you
there
here
under the vast sky of your morning
as you squint into the new day
and I ride under your feet
like a magical carpet
delivering you
reveling in your touch
abiding here as always
with no answer
nor question
but this abiding taste
that lingers on your lips
and bears within the swing of your hips
and sway of your arm…
I am here to show you beauty
yes
but not before you dissolve the horror that stands before your face
and that dwells in your heart.
I am here to show you the greatest love there is
it is what I was destined to bear to you since
forever was a child…
but we must work to set it right
so that the beauty of this moment can be known
fully
without reservation
or regret
or doubt
or shame
or sadness…
I wrap myself ’round all of these
for you
and it is my mere presence that dissolves them
just as soon as you are ready to let them fall
and transform into the greatness that is in you to be.
I know it is hard for you.
I know the strain
the pain
the sadness
the empty void…
but one by one
like soldiers
I redeem them
with the sweetest kind of joy.
You grow from old to young
like a vast wheel turning backwards
until all the strain is wound out of it.
I am here with you until the end
which is only the beginning.
I am the force that revives
the one who opens you
and shows you
the flower within
and the great light
that those petals long to touch
arching upward and outward
a great kind of beauty is coaxed…
I am beyond names
and beyond all recognition,
the sweetest mystery
that all of you yearn to swim deep into
and become lost in
so that you might be found.
How beautiful, how perfectly this expresses how I feel. Can you feel it?
http://youtu.be/qGD6tmov9-A
This love rises above all other loves
it is noble
separate
only because it is so perfect…
You might think this then makes some loves imperfect…
No–
but we are. We humans
souls dressed in this clay
desperately seeking the day…
This love I know
does not need to make old love
into an enemy
but instead seeks peace
knows peace
wants to make peace
just as much as some wish to make love.
But we do not let love take us enough
nearly ever enough
to build us into its image
we instead take sips
from a vast cauldron
overflowing
and call it the great love
but there is more still
that our narrow caged minds can know
this love destroys you
and your notion
of seperation
and loss
and desiring to make an old love into a demon
or who is cursed.
We forget ourselves
as love
when we do this
and it is we who are cursed
as our bitterness comes back to our hearts
a hundred fold.
So let love take you deep into its chambers
and undo you
unmake you of who you thought you were
so that you might shine incandescent
as the self that you truly are.
Such a love requires a mad fool to follow it
or the bravest of hearts.
Let this love take you tonight
and show you the way
that the deep enveloping presence
of its heart can do
and go back to drink of it
ever thirsty
ever seeking
ever knowing
that has always been with you
with a certainty that makes masterworks
of this clay and soul
transiting this land once more
trying to get it right…
if we will but listen to the flower
blooming in our chest…
NOTE: I know….another long post. Sorry about that, really. But I am asking you on an adventure and we can’t do that with a bunch of bulletted text, can we? So here goes the long version that asks you take a cup of tea and a cookie or something and just soak into it…
Imagine that overlaid on your body is an extremely fine webwork of energy lines, fine as spiders thread which create a vast jungle of pathways that align to organs and centers in your body that are physical that these lines help to feed the necessary nutrient of life force or prana to. You can’t see or touch these lines, but you can feel them. In fact, there are people, like myself, who can see the energy radiating off of them which can tell you all about where that person is physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It sounds a little wild to some people, but really, its only because you have never heard of it or experienced it directly for yourself. But when you do, it is a game changer. But you don’t have to see this energy in order to work with it. There is a lot that you can do with it that is healthy and beneficial.
These lines that make up the energy body begin so small that they are difficult to see. They go down in scale to subatomic since the energy force literally does feed right into and out of the subatomic. Its a very very detailed system for carrying energy. Most systems for understanding this only show the seven chakras that go up the core of the body. In the same way that your vascular system goes from extremely small structures that feed into organs and cells, they get bigger and bigger like the branches of a tree. Finally they go up a central main trunk, which is where the most obvious centers of vortex energy reside. We call these “chakras” which mean “wheel” or “disc” in the Sanskrit.
You don’t need to know anything about esoteric traditions to know and understand what a chakra is or what your energy is. I can tell you that by becoming sensitive to energy fields that are in others around you and by feeling your own energy, you can learn right away FROM the energy itself to know how it behaves and how incredibly complex but beautiful it is. By learning directly with the energy, you can allow your own natural intuitiveness to bloom. Most people feel they have to learn this from another person, but I say that you literally have the capacity within you to decode the information for yourself because it is what you are. But absent that, a few very basic guidelines about how to reach a place where the energy of the infinite can move through you with calm and peace.
Blocks As Solid (Ideas and Emotions)
We like to think of energy as something that is not solid, but I want to propose to you that at the level of energy itself, the energy body has amazing structure and a kind of “solidity” to it that makes the lines that run through it that the Chinese have charted as “meridians” as incredibly consistent from one person to the next. Far from being just a current or amorphous flow of energy, the energy that makes up our consciousness is amazingly structured. It is out of this “solidity” that energetic objects can get stuck in the system that is our light body. In the same way that food can get stuck in your throat, energy can be stuck, sometimes for years, lifetimes even, in your energy body. The result of removing the block is that perception and awareness changes and the person feels much more peaceful and happy.
But we are a cluster of thousands of these blocks. These blocks are always emotions that were not fully felt in one way or another. Do you fear your rage? Do you find yourself putting it away or stuffing it down? That breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend where you pulled yourself together and stopped crying because you were afraid you were going to just fall apart? Its possible that you were stuffing something down. Or how about that moment when you feared something that you did not understand…a feeling that just hung there like dirty laundry on the clothesline? Afraid, we leave it alone…..and we shove it down. By not fully processing any form of emotion, we literally create a kind of bottled knot of whatever that emotion is that gets stored in the energy body.
The Body Thinks
There is a lot of evidence that I am finding that shows HOW the energy body and the physical body work together to either store or to release these blocks. It has to do with the nervous system, the brain, as well as the current of prana and how it is polarized in the life force field itself.
The light body is made up of two fields of energy that are joined and that replenish each other. They aren’t really even “two” but two ends of a spectrum of energy that represents a kind of cosmic totality that makes it possible for you to then connect into the totality that exists beyond you. This is the way this energy works, and is why you can feel the rush of the universe move through you in moments of nondual awareness (or as a continual awareness depending on the extent of your experience). Two-in-one (energies) who then birth a transcendent third energy. You see? All of this activity is felt as taking place not in the head but all through the body.
What I am getting at is that there is already evidence to support that the body “thinks” and stores memory. Now this stands in direct opposition to what we all have been taught, but what we have learned about our capacity to store memory is simply lacking. Consider that the tissues in your body contain neurons, enough neurons in your gut for the brain of the average cat. THAT is a lot of processing power. What do you think our gut is doing with all of that? What does your gut tell you? 🙂 So you see, the body has this capacity for dealing with memory, yes, and there is also a way to use somatics (body knowledge) to aid in releasing these memories. Unlike the brain, the body seems to be more selective in the memories it stores. It seems at this point in time, to be storing memories that it has had trouble with. These can now be released once the individual is ready to release them. And doing so is a saving grace because whatever the short coming was, or the fault or hurt or fear or rage, it all evaporates after releasing these blocks.
In the work I was doing with my friend Alison who is herself awakened and a gifted intuitive, we found that even matter itself has a propensity to hold blocked energy. I one experience that unfolded that I write about in my book, I describe how we unlocked an energy that had been blocked at a physical site that involved the murder of a man who had been drowned in a lake. At the time, we did not know that a body had been found in the lake that we saw in our inner vision, but it had been discovered as the waters receded in what was then a dry lake bed (and his body was discovered along with some of his belongings enough to identify him). We were able to describe a scenario that had a group of friends going out on the lake in the middle of the night with one of their friends not returning. By simply recognizing the truth of this event, we were able to release it. Six months after our encounter our local newspaper printed a story about the man who had died in the lake! It was pretty amazing that events in the physical world would be so closely tied to our own encounter. The newspaper story told the story of the four friends who took this man out onto the lake. What we saw was that he was murdered for an elicit love affair with the wife or girlfriend of his friend. It was perhaps the reason why the blocked energy could be released….because someone was able to see what really happened on that night. No one else would have been able to really see the events as they took place. While we had testimony from his friends as part of the historical record, it is interesting how no one seemed to even entertain the idea of foul play at all. Basically, it came down to four people all saying that their friend drowned. As long as everyone sticks to their story, then no one is the wiser.
And of course, this lead the skeptical to suggest that I saw something that was not there, or that I was making it up or seeing a real event bu interpreting it to fit my own life where I felt as though I had been drowned. And I will concede that this is certainly a real possibility. What suggests to me that we were seeing real events was because both Alison and I were picking up on all the same information, information that was in line with the story when it came out in the newspapers.
And this is where the second lesson in doing this kind of work comes in. When we went up to this lake, we were simply going to see the sun setting. But what unfolded was an event not unlike one that had taken place in my own life. There was something eerily similar to what had happened to me and to our friend who drowned in the lake. While my life was not taken from me, my experience in my marriage was that I was being held underwater to be drowned before my own children. It was itself a really painful experience that happened to me, something that people in the psychiatric community call ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome.” One parent tries to destroy the other parent in the eyes of the children. When it happens to you, it feels like the life is being sucked out of your body. it feels like you are drowning. It was appropriate that I would pick up on this eerie energy that was skulking about in those hills. It was scary at first….sinister….but as we worked through the memory, I found that I was touching on a whole host of feelings that were in me as well. By working with one block we were able to clear the other block.
But what took place in the wake of this experience is also very telling. In the same way that clearing a block in your body leads to a world of new possibilities, the area where this drowning took place also underwent a lot of changes in the years following our event. Renovations were called for in the main buildings, a new arts initiative was called for with new people with progressive ideas coming onto the scene. It was as though a new window opened for the people who lived and worked around this location. To date, a slew of new initiatives have been undertaken on the part of the owners of the property where this lake is. Its interesting to see how a location can be stuck for years only to see how it becomes unstuck, with a flow of new people, new ideas, and new possibilities entering the scene. The same happens to you when you release these blocks, too!
Complimentary Blocks And The Law Of Attraction
Until a block is cleared, the block can be the basis of an attraction by others who are either similarly blocked or complimentary blocked. What this means is that you either have someone who has had the same KIND of experience or someone who compliments the experience as in the case of someone who has a fear of being pushed, say, and you attract a person who seems to like to push you a lot! THAT would be an example of a complimentary attraction. A positive complimentary attraction would be somethign similar but in the positive, not negative. In either case, however, the two people feel the similarities even if they are opposites, and these dynamics open up the flow of energy within us. They fill a role be it positive or negative. These aspects of the other person can lay dormant for decades before expressing themselves, or they can be playing in the background all the time. However, when you release this material, you release any possibility for this same kind of blocked material to ever be of any consequence to you in the future. it is gone like a poof of smoke. And this is why this kind of work is so important and life changing; you can change your whole life based on one big critical pivotal move in clearing your blocks in your body. The result is that you NEVER feel energized by behaviors that would have effected you before. It’s as though your mind has been completely rewired when it comes to whatever hot button issue this block represented to you in the past. There is a lot to suggest that this event does literally have the power to rewire the brain in seconds flat! How’s that for a speedy transformation?
It really is that fast and that easy. When you have enough of these you realize that you can actually become a free person in ways you have never experienced before.
Ways Of Clearing Blocks
The best way to work through blocks is to pay attention to the ones that come up the most for you. This is one most obvious way. But these blocks may also be the hardest to clear away. I am of the observed opinion that clearing smaller blocks is the way to go since it can loosen up material surrounding one block only to result in a kind of energetic avalanche with other blocks going at about the same time.
You can identify blocks in your body by simply observing when you feel a sense of resistance or even pain in your body when you move a certain way. Your energy body changes frequency from one end of the field to the other. As a result, different emotions are stored at different places along this “column” in the body. This is why some issues are stored in the root chakra than in the crown. The root chakra deals with nurture, abundance, and safety of self, for example. When you feel a sense of resistance or even pain from tightness in a given area, you can gain a good bit of understanding about the block in general by thinking about where that block is located. If its between two chakras, then it will contain aspects of BOTH chakras in some way.
If you can identify the spot where the hurt or twinge keeps happening, you can point it out to a therapists who can work on that spot for you. The types of therapists who can do this work will be people who do both energy work and body manipulations such as deep tissue massage. Acupressure, acupuncture, reiki, and deep tissue are all methods that can help. In pranayama yoga there is a lot of attention given to moving certain parts of the body, something called “locks” that help to move blocked material. All of these involve vigorous movement of the part of the body where the chakra is located and, presumably, the blocked material. Even placing your attention on the spot and holding it there through the day is one way that you can help loosen up a block in your body. If it gets enough aware energy, it can trigger the release of the block sometimes.
Chakra Clearing VS. Meridian Clearing
This is especially true for the chakras. When a block is in a meridian line and not in a chakra, it seems to be harder to release it unless you are using acupressure or reiki, systems that actively move energy through the meridians of the energy body. The chakras, conversely, have a churning effect on blocks so that if you can use the chakras in meditation to swirl and move around a block, this can be very helpful because unlike clearig one small block in a meridian, a whole cluster of blocks can often be released all at once when its associated to chakra movement. This is achieved by simply visualizing it and allowing the chakras to open fully and begin their movements, which often feel like you are moving or floating or even flying sometimes. By placing your intent to clear the blocked material in a given chakra, the energy can begin to melt away the block.
Clearing along a meridian line is more exact and may only clear one block. It can also lead to other blocks letting go, though, and these blocks can be worked through by acupuncture, acupressure, and deep tissue most often. The larger blocks can be “swirled” away through vigorous chakra movement and can sweep away lots of blocks at once, leaving a person feeling as though they are a changed person. Many people who have these types of clearings describe feeling as though their body was being purged by a wave or by a force that sent a whole series of bubbles or shots of energy up along their spine and out their body. Fundamental to all of this work is intent (willingness) and willingness to surrender at a deep level even into the body. By reaching this deep state of vulnerability, you will also be reaching a deep state of awareness somatically about your body and your own body of feeling, too. Trust me, when the moment comes, it will be like suddenly seeing things in a very different way, the way perhaps that things really are instead of the way you have chosen to see them through the colorings of the particular block that you have. Be ready to see things in a very different way, or to feel them very differently. And remember; this is nothing at all to do with reason. This is NOT about working through your emotional backlog rationally. To try to do so is a trap. Yes, reason can keep you OUT of the thick hot stew of your feelings and can help you to calmly identify what needs to be released. However, you need to actually jump in the water with no fear or resistance to what you will find since this is a necessary state of mind and heart that you will need in order to clear the block. If you turn away, you are effectively saying to your body that its okay to keep the block in place.
Some blocks go quickly. Some take months, even years to dissolve. A good rule of thumb is that if you have a strong investment in a given block, the harder it will be to rid yourself of it. The more ego focuses on it, the harder it will be for the block to simply dissolve.
Part of prana is the energy body that expresses itself as a vortex, a kind of doughnut-shaped field of energy that is common to most anything that has an electromagnetic field around it. It is this field that carries your consciousness and also the energy that feeds into your cells. When the energy is blocked, illness and neurosis can result. Life force is literally being squeezed out of you when it should be more abundant.
When you remove these blocks you can realize stronger energy, a more peaceful state of mind and greater bliss that is not at the whim of whatever blocks are turning in you at the time.
Until you are able to release a block, the block itself will be energized by prana in your body and it will remain active. It can cause any number of problems, all of which will revolve around some kind of meme that is less than who you really are as a divine creature in earthly robes. These blocks can cause no end of trouble for you. There is little else work that is as important as this is.
There are numerous ways to clear away blocks in the body. One method is through energy work like White Crane Chi Gung. This method of blending movement with energy work will aid in the removal of blocks throughout the body. In order for it to work, it requires patience and persistence. By working at it for weeks and months at a time, you can begin to see results. Deep tissue massage by a practitioner who knows or understands about blocks is helpful. Also, body movement is key. The very act of shaking or massaging or moving the part of the body that is blocked can aid in removing material from it.
Until you have cleared one chakra region, you will be dealing with what blocks remain in that region. You will likely find that less obvious blocks come to the fore in your awareness now after having one bigger more obvious block removed. Your attention can become much more highly tuned in this way to detect blocks in your system. As this happens, you can also become much more sensitive to the presence in blocks in yourself and others if you are interested in learning a healing art. I have dug so deep into myself that I have had some practitioners unable to detect the blocks. One actually scolded me, saying I should not try to CREATE problems when there were were not problems there. This practitioner was not able to pick up on this material, and I went on to have a number of clearings surrounding this region, so yes, there was more there, but not all of us will be as good about picking up on it. While I have done the bulk of the clearing on my own, I have used a variety of methods to assist in clearing my system, and these have all worked well for me when they came along in my awakening journey (almost as if they were perfectly suited for the blocks kundalini was churning away on at the time!). In many ways, I have been very gifted to have found a certain modality at a given time, as though the timing was perfect. I was talking with my latest therapist about doing more work in the Fall recently as she expressed some surprise with the level of release I was experiencing with her work. I had to explain that while my being able to release blocks was different from her experience, it wasn’t from my experience. For many people, it seems they get a deep tissue massage and maybe loosen up some material a bit. For me, I am headed into the final stage of releasing material, a process that has taken years of steady daily attention and work, and I am having flashes of past lives, of deeply held traumas from my ancient past. It seems the deeper I go into it, the harder it is, the deeper the shadows.
So don’t be afraid of the shadow, I say. That you get down into such shadows is cause for celebration. Who on the planet has managed to get this deeply into themselves….to overcome the world?
This is why clearing blocks is so important; it is all about overcoming the world. Would you like to see with new eyes? With clear bodies, we can build a clear world. And that is why I am writing to you today. Pass it along!
~P.
Your heart center is one of the most amazing creations you could ever believe. It can literally lead you to a place within yourself and the universe that you simply did not know existed. Those are tall words, I know, but it is true. I am not talking syrupy sweetness, but a connection to a force that will leave you without words. In fact, for some who have experienced the profundity of a heart opening they can be left feeling at odd ends in a world like ours. I did.
But what it showed me was something so revolutionary that I was dumbfounded. When this event took place the first time, I was as I usually am with things like this; observing carefully. I don’t know what it is, perhaps it is the acceleration in consciousness that does this, but it seems as though I am operating on multiple channels at once. That might sound a bit hard to wrap your head around, but I have observed that when we shift focus from our normal way of being a LOT can be experienced in a VERY short period of time. As if time is slowed down even as it flows at normal speed. Perhaps as though some part of me steps out of ordinary earthly time and can spend a lot of “time” observing what is taking place. And what have I found?
I have found that these heart openings, which some call union with the divine, are a matter of our choice. This is not a mental choice that we make, but a deep fundamental one, and as a result is less about thinking as it is with feeling. And for me, it was like being taken by the divine. The only way this could have happened the way it did was that I had had enough experiences with my own inner yin or divine feminine. The level of receptivity and willingness to take something within myself is something that quite honestly was not part of my functional framework as a male. Wasn’t I the initiating energy? Well yes. But there is way more to these experiences than that. Without the receptive inward flowing energy of the feminine I don’t know I would have been able to feel this in the way I did.
But it was a choice. Something inside of me just opened up. Completely. In one case I was skimming a book online about Nondual Saivism called The Triadic Heart Of Siva. What was so interesting was that right after I had the first opening in a spontaneous way, the book went on to begin to describe openings of the heart, something I had never heard of before. It was as though in that moment something in me anticipated this and then experienced it. It is as though something was telling me I didn’t need a book to tell me how this was done. This repeated itself later the same day. The physical result was that I felt my body arch upward and my head flew back uncontrollably. It was such a powerful feeling I could not help but react in this way. This is not something I would call a kriya (involuntary movement) in the typical sense, but is itself a natural response we all seem to have when experiencing such powerful flows of divine energy.
the first initiation into these heart openings happened early one morning when a being came into my room who announced that his name was Sandalphon and that he was a Seraphim. He reached into my heart center and pulled out what felt like a body….a body without bones. Yes, I know, that is kind of weird. However, the feeling was incredibly vivid, which helped to highlight what then took place, which was that a major clearing had taken place in my body. All through my upper torso I felt a sense of clarity and lack of clutter. I had a distinct sensation of two spots in my upper lungs that felt as though something had been pulled away. It was tender. The tender spot was at my back near my shoulder blades. I was told by this being that he was going to take this dark mass of energy and show it to “Source.”
Over the course of a few days this being showed up again and explained that he had been my protector, showing me an image of himself as he appeared to me over 20 years ago during a time when I was seeing him a lot during efforts I was making at the time to project consciousness from my body. I was at the time wanting to experience this with the thought that in so doing I could conquer fear of death. It seemed like a reasonable thing, like how the Tibetans have their Book Of the Dead to help prepare for life beyond the physical body. If you know me, you know that I have never been one to go in for angels. But here he was, showing up as unusually tall, stooping in order to stand in my bedroom. When I went online to type in his name, he was described as one of the tallest of the angels.
It would turn out that there is an account, nearly identical to my own that was written by a Christian mystic who lived in the 1500’s by the name of St. Teresa of Avila who had an experience with an angel who pulled her insides out of her while she was on fire with a “great love of God.” This angel took an arrow tipped in gold fire and plunged it into her heart whereupon he pulled out something that felt like her insides. Exactly! But only ONE account? Is that all?
Heart openings put us in touch with our native ability to connect with the divine at a level that is difficult to even put into words. It is so singular an experience it is hard to square with anything else. I think if I was able to connect into that kind of energy on a more continual basis, I think that my process of inner cleansing would be so much the faster. But maybe the point is to catalyze us with these singular experiences to show us how we, as humans, can touch upon so much more.
So how? Surrender. A deep state of surrender that is complete and total. To do this requires that you let go of all fear, all resistance. Once this is overcome or released, little stands in the way. It is I think also the result of a deep desire to reconnect with this lost part of ourselves. It seems to require a willingness that goes from toe to crown, and something in you just opens up. The feeling in the heart is one of unusual expansiveness. The feeling I had in the back of my mind was “really? I am opening up THAT MUCH?” Yes. That much.
In the last few days I have been out with family kayaking one of the oldest rivers in the world that happens to snake its way through our region of the Blue Ridge and Alleghenies. So old, this river runs from south to north, a river whose bed was established long before the earth shifted its physical axis. We are kind of proud of her. And so it was that as my daughter and I stood skipping stones in the river I found a rock shaped perfectly into a heart. It reminded me of another event where every stone I picked up was heart shaped. The message then as now is that love is the single most important thing, and when we can go beyond the things that serve to limit us, what is left is without limit. Our concept of love also changes in the process. All of the little loves in our life….love of our job, family, hobbies, and more are like subsets of a larger canopy overarching all of these other perfectly valid forms of love…..a kind of BIG LOVE that is waiting for each and every one of us.
Without it, we hunger, short of a large view that it can provide…..still turning with old notions of love as object…forgetting the love is what we ARE. We get lost in mazes of love FOR something.
This path is unforgiving in that until you have emptied yourself of the dharma of that basket of notions of love FOR something, it is hard to really know what this broader love is. The yogi speaks of emptying and knowing this great Nothing…..and so true….but I would add that this then leads you straight to that cosmic maypole…..round which we have so long danced….pulling against the other…learning about the cosmic force that leads to this greater love….and all along, emptying ourselves so the vessel may come clean and uncluttered….so that “it” may love you with nothing else in the way….no collection of investments or positions or beliefs. Empty, a virgin before it. Fearing a sense of loss, we hold on to the old for dear life because it defines us, and feels familiar. And yet, without letting it all go, there is no room within to conceive it could ever be different. This continues, for we are stubborn creatures, but we are called back to it over and over as an ever-deepening secret realm that is in you emerges.
I skipped Valentines day for making a post on this love because, in truth, this has been a daily mantra….a steady process of coming back over and over……each mis-step forms the content of the next lesson….perfectly….with ultimate compassion. Every day is a day about this love…..and more so when I simply feel it, letting it stream through every atom and cell…just as I ask it “how do I heal this next piece, let it fall from this basket of mine?”
People unable to join or be with me, I see with clearer eyes why this is all so….and more perfectly and compassionately this vibrant presence within asks how to do better, be better, and even as importantly, how to bless all the souls who cannot be since an expression of an old less than perfect expression was in the way of glimpsing this greater love…..a mirrored truth which, like those basket of things, we bear the greatest of compassion and love for ourselves….because when we feel it’s presence so clearly and cleanly, absent that basket of old things…we are free in a beautiful way….first singular, but then bubbling up like a vast wellspring that is not for honor or reward, not for a return on what we give or hope for exchange….but a simple love that is for nothing and thus is free to be for all. This has been what has drawn me forward from day one in this experience…..first unsure what “it” was, realizing all my dreams which foretold of it’s coming to me was beautifully represented. And prescient, too. Silly, I knew. Deeper down, I know, and now inner knowing reaches longingly now to outer knowing….building block by block this bridge to this self that knows this love constantly, free, the only example I have or will need….a divine template hidden within….accessed through feeling (not emotion) and known at a cellular kind of certainty…..a process of constant aligning to “it.”
This is the greatest love and it is what I seek. Day by day, silently, perfectly, it comes and whispers what remains to empty out. Unfurling, undoing ourselves, our inner terrains emptied so we may be filled…so I may be filled…so I might forgive…so I may reach this great everything that I have been seeking in letting it go. I do this not because I know where it leads but because I seem to know it leads to what I have been seeking fervently all this time….past the hall of mirrors others have shown in themselves to me, showing me where Iw as….perfect in a way….guideposts along the way. And yet, we have this capacity to be more than what we mirror. Healing it, we feel so much closer to this one great love. The greatest there is!
When I was younger and I began seeing auras, it made me realize in a very tangible way that we are all energy; our bodies, composed of this seemingly coarse matter was energy vibrating at a certain frequency. Different types of matter has different densities. Different things have a different vibration, such as light and sound; all vibration. We live in a sea of All Energy. All kinds of energy moving at different frequencies, and yet, there is this sense that I have and that many others seem to have, too, which is that “behind” all of this or resting “within” all of this energy is a core energy source or force. We have all kinds of names, and for years and years every name I heard seemed to fall short of really explaining it. What I realize is that any name IS going to fall short of the grandeur of this living presence in all things. So anything will seem mundane or silly almost. Bearded man up in the clouds? Silly! Buxom Lady, Mother to all living in the springs and oceans? Silly! And yet, even as we say that we can dream such images into being and experience them as virtually as any vivid dream or vision. This is so because everything is a creation, everything IS creative energy. It isn’t nothing means anything, it means that anything can mean anything you need or want. Understand how this deeper level creativity works and you can find yourself living a much less effortful life. (yes-I just made that word up…) The Gods and Goddesses are reflections of what we are able to realize or know. Its a little funny that for some a God has meant a beaded guy up in the clouds. It shows that we have pretty well excluded the feminine in ourselves and in our deity. Well, all of that is changing. A delicate vibration of bliss is coming back to us as we reach the End Times. Set your hair on fire chillens, cause the seals are about to be undone. Seven of them; right along with the seven chakras making up the pranamayakosha or light body. The End Times means that we are coming to the end of the old way and we are now seeing the New Way. And I am here to tell you that. Didn’t you know? That, and the fact that by being energy we all have our effect on the world around us….and that the core of all things can have its own effect on YOU? Well sit back and let me tell you a story……
This great presence in all things I will boldly say is like a tuning fork. Its vibration is so pure, so incredibly refined…..it is like observing a master at work. I understand how those who can pause to see the incredible masterwork that exists all through creation would feel awed and become worshipful of this presence. I will tell you though that there is nothing about this presence that has ever once demanded that I go down on one knee. I think this has to do with our own limited conception of what a deity is, and what a deity was for us thousands of years ago may have been more like observing a Lord or ruler of some kind. I can tell you that this being seems to observe and flow through all things lovingly more than in any egoistic way. It wants us to be happy and to find our own freedom in expression and in fulfillment….and just as it has created so much, it is itself curious to see what WE will create. And what WILL we create?
Within this Presence lies a central vibration that is pure love. I can’t even begin to tell you how incredible this thing is. I don’t even know why I am using all this time telling you about it when I could be focused on the bliss that it confers. But here I am, explaining that there is something truly remarkable inside of you. It is a piece of the divine and that slip of divine has the capacity to vibrate at the same vibration as the central force in all things. This vibration is love. This love, however, may be unlike anything you have thus far experienced. It is not something that you feel FOR something, it is a force that IS everything. It is kind of awesome that way. Truly. But in order to embody it, you need to become aware of it. Can I help you to recall this? When the sages speak of “self realization” they aren’t talking about decades worth of work and yoga postures, they are talking about a simple act of recalling who we are deeper down. We are like amnesiacs who have been shipwrecked on this planet and we wake up one day to realize we are travellers from a distant land who are all artists of one kind or another. As our memories unfold and sharpen, we realize we have all of these remarkable abilities. Some amongst us say we are here to be punished. These people, those are the ones who have not fully remembered, because were they to remember fully, they would become speechless and just stand gape-mouthed at the realization of just what we are. How do I jog your memory? All you have to do is to look inside very quietly and begin to FEEL your energy. When you FEEL your energy, you feel it from one central place within the core of your awareness. In this place, in this stillness, stop taking your own energy for granted. Ask yourself what IS this energy that is you? FEEL that energy and center on it with your attention. You do not need anything more than this except that. The quieter you can become, the more still you can be, the better. This is not easy, so by gently bringing your busy mind back into a center of focus each time with becoming quiet and centered on feeling your own core of energy, you can slowly begin to learn to develop a practice of developing a capacity to rest within this energy in a way that can lead to a revolution in memory. Breathing has in the past been connected to this process since breathing inward also helps to move energy in your body. If it helps, breathing in a deep and steady way, much like how you breathe just before you fall asleep, is the perfect way to breathe for recalling your soul self. You can also bring great relaxation by pressing one nostril closed and breathing in and out four times each and then changing to the other nostril. You can do this as many times as you need in order to drift into a deeply relaxed state. You can also press your hands together as in prayer and then focus on the place where the hands meet. The reason why this method is so powerful is because the hands when brought together in prayer actually complete a circuit in the body that helps build and accumulate energy. By placing your attention on the place where the hands meet, you are activating the quantum potential within the energy to vault yourself into a new form of awareness. This form of awareness is one that moves you from object-based awareness to what I would call field-based awareness. It is the basis for a method I call Divine Energetics which uses the power of the brain and body to accumulate the type of energy that can lead to awakening and to greater awareness. It is actually as simple as learning how to shift from an “I” object-based form of awareness and reasoning to one that is not based in objects but fields, waves, of awareness. It is in the wave or field (the forest instead of the trees) that the awakening experience awaits you. Having said that, being ready by working through the more thorny issues of your life can be a big help to you because once awakening comes small things are greatly magnified. It is my sense, though, that sometimes the only real way to work through our small things and big things is by having them magnified by the presence of awakening or kundalini. It is what it does; it helps us to see even the most minute grain of sand in order that we can cast it aside from the great turning of the wheels within us so that it does not scratch or harm or hurt our very delicate inner workings.
Our energy can serve as a tuning fork. Just as the central sun or light or presence serves as a tuning fork for us, we too also attune others whether we know it or not. The more receptive or open we are to this attunement, the more likely it is to happen.
Long before I ever had my awakening but a few months into seeing auras, I was sitting with one of my room mates as we spoke. I was talking about something, I forget what exactly, but I noticed that I was feeling what I know now to be my own core energy. This energy is strong…..its not a flowing kind of energy….it certainly wasn’t at the time. It is like I am most often; animated, intense and with a brilliant kind of flash to it. That same year I had a memory from a past life where I was a native American man who had a vision that had Thunder Beings in it. Like a bolt of lightening; that was what it was like. I had felt this emerge over the years. It was in some ways what I thought to be a very masculine kind of energy. As it turned out that the Sky was most often polarized towards the masculine in native imagery and belief while the earth was considered the feminine polarity. Certainly in the vision I was being shown an archetypal image that served to merge the sky with earth in a cleansing that I was told would happen when I was reborn as a new person. The vision from that past life was a prophecy about the life I am leading now. “You will bear a power to the earth that will be cleansing….” How could I have known that kundalini would do this? Certainly kundalini was a cleansing force, yes, and perhaps, then I was here to help in the cleansing of the earth….which is within us just as we are within it. By learning to cleanse ourselves, would be manage to cleanse the earth? It turned out that there were all kinds of prophecies about this Day of Cleansing from the Navajo, Hopi, Lakota, Ojibwe, and more. All agree that we are in the Day of Cleansing period and those who teach about it tend to do so in a way that is dynamic; we are not separate from the effects that are happening before us. The junk on the face of the earth is the junk in our own minds. CLean the mind and heart and the world can itself also begin to heal. When my vibration changes, it becomes easier for you to change. It is possible to change the world this way, you see. We just need enough people here to effect this change. From all accounts, I’d say that it is happening. But on this day, I was talking to my room mate and feeling this energy. As I spoke to him, I explained what I saw in his aura. I could feel myself feeling this vibration of energy very strong. I would later think of it as my tuning fork effect. As I spoke to him, he began to look at me funny. I asked him what was up and he explained that he saw a light all around me. To test to make sure my room mate wasn’t pulling my leg I asked him to do something that I knew meant nothing to him but that would help me to gauge if he was actually seeing auras. I asked him to take off his glasses. Now to understand this, you need to realize that John wore these coke bottle glasses. The poor soul had such poor eyesight that his eyes looked like big fish eyes staring back at you through those thick panes of plastic. When John took off his glasses, he was blind. But instead of going blurry, John’s face grew even more amazed. He said “the light! It is so bright!” It was then that I knew that John was indeed “seeing” auras.
Over the years I would find that when I was feeling my own inner core energy and reading energy that people had a habit of beginning, right then and there, to see auras. My intuitive sense has been that all that has ever really happened is that by feeling my own energy in the way that I do, the people who were receptive enough, were able to tune into the same frequency I was on and it opened the sense up within them as well. This phenomenon has happened about five times and I often can feel when someone else around me is about ready to activate this sense in themselves. I can sense a similar vibrational frequency.
It turns out that Reiki is a healing modality that does something similar. At least this is the read I get from it. Last week I had my first attunement and what I experienced was how practicioners could help conduct universal and soul energy through my system in a way that was beneficial for my own healing. By shifting my vibration it helped to move old energy blocks in my body that had been there for a very long time. By doing this I was better able to feel my “own” energy which is itself like being a fountain for a source of energy that is the universe. The more I do this, the closer I get, I achieve a divine alignment and it is in this divine alignment that I feel peace and joy and bliss while working on what remains for me to heal in my own energy body. That we manage to hold so hard onto these old hurts and blockages is testament to how our own individuality becomes accustomed to a less than marvelous way of being and feeling.
Its weird. It really is. And yet, we all do this. All of us. Slowly and sometimes quickly, we are moved to the center of some great wheel…..to an axial point in our awareness where so much just falls away. It is like a cosmic seduction. I feel my soul grow naked under the great vibratory force that is this divine love. I find I just don’t care anymore…..and in not caring, I lose my fear over what I am afraid might lie in the center of my soul. Some dark pit or some glitch or something less than perfect, less than lovable, less than beautiful. And yet, this seductive force teased me out of my shadows, out of the old feeling of not being good enough or strong enough or bold or smart enough or handsome or any of the rest. It floods me with such incredible love that I just melt.
I am returned to a baseline vibration…..to a primordial state…..and its not harps and angels. Its fiery flowers bursting open with passion and stars exploding into new worlds in the night. It is the grinding force of gravity hending space and the passionate love that bears a moon to its planet. It is the force that brings blood to churn in the heart, the nutrients to flow from root to leaf, of a boundless frequency that pervades all and makes all as it changes from one thing to another and is all things all at once. It is a dance around the maypole, it is a passionate kiss by the fire. It is a love of great art and science and devotion to all things great and hopeful. It is the incredible reach and trembling grasp of our kind as we seek to break the bonds of one cradle to recognize the bonds of a still larger one ahead of us. All of this could be some remarkable miracle or a mundane blurp of accident and for those where it is all mere accident, there is a kind of pall of death that comes over the soul.
So what do you want? Do you want to follow rules laid out ahead of you or are you willing to realize that its all in your to know the infinite realm that spreads out before all of us? In touching this wonder of wonders, doesn’t it just seem such a waste that humans would spend time making war and enriching themselves when there is more than enough for everyone here and that we could be doing such incredible things instead of merely seeking advantage. Isn’t it time for the Goddess within each of us, the part that sees the larger good for all, to awaken collectively so that we might all be softened by this part of us that we shoved under the rug so long ago? Isn’t it time for love to reign in heaven, the kind of love where God must close the door so he might be with his Beloved Goddess? And isn’t it time that we allowed ourselves to see our Gods and Goddesses as loving and affectionate instead of angry and vengeful? Aren’t the Gods and Goddesses our own projections anyway? And in so being, might we not ourselves be able to remake our world in a finer sort of vibration where we become not the lost children of an angry father-god but the children of a happy and loving family of father/mother? Because, I have to point out, that it is in this vibration that their bliss is known. Isn’t the bliss of this experience equal to the touch of the higher forces reaching one into the other for completion…..and isn’t this the same thing that happens to us as we ourselves awaken, which is that we merge that which is lacking in us, most often our opposites, in order to know bliss and love and joy and all the rest? Isn’t this what we seek the beloved for? Isn’t this really just the way to clothe and describe a great mystery where there is no father, there is no mother, but there is a wondrous reality that is entirely beyond words even though we do seek to put it all to words? Touch the universal force and you shall know the product of their love, their union, their hearts as vast forces that dream worlds into being. I know that this may all sound like utter madness to you, but in the realm of the spirit, things are not always anchored to objects the way they are in the physical and this experience is very much bringing the heaven to earth. It is. It is the Kingdom. Here. So if that sounds crazy, what can I say?
All of this may all sound grandiose to you. It is. I admit it. But so is the force that turns at the core of all things. In fact, it is just beyond all description. We, so little, like ants really, we are just feeling the far edge of its wonder. What will happen when we learn to bite fully into it and know it rich flavor and juiciness? And when, really, are you going to stop your inner struggle and just let go of that river bank and trust that the river shall take you to a still greater sea? There is a tuning fork inside of you and you need only find it. Then let yourself feel it. In feeling your energy, you can know the wonder that is the universe. People seek this for lifetimes. I ti s here now on the planet in a way it has not been in many many generations. By saying yes to it in your heart, you will say yes to a great love that is what you are and that is the universe.
Its is like you have been holding your breath for centuries, a spirit dormant beneath the ice, awakening to a thaw like some signal from a still distant sun….a cosmic messenger leaking out through all eventualities. This thaw is in no way limited and is building powerful thresholds. In this time, in this place, in all places. It is what is.
But that is the clean version.
We are returning to love. I am. The trembling lips of its knowing sleeps within each of you, but can slowly wake up as the petals of its bloom peel back like an eager lover of the sun for a still deeper opening to what can no longer be denied. This love is not a love for anything, but a living presence that is a compelling mystery that keeps its secret on my lips, changes my gait, and changes my smile. It warms the cold, brings day into night, and embraces me with a persistent current that invades every aspect, every cell, body, soul, spirit, mind, body, heart, and loin. It has entirely invaded every corner, every piece and shred of me, burning away the dross like a tender but persistent lover, to return me to a powerfully potent presence, to make me ready for the union with its rich source of life. Its desire melts me, boiling and refining, I am made to rain down like a summer storm. It shows me the way of lightening and thunder as my essence rains down upon her waiting lips. The whole earth becomes like this. Every atom contains Her, every shadow, every stolen moment, everything that is has its compliment that is the other half of the presence that makes things real, manifest. I see and feel their dance in everything around me as it seemed to awaken just as I did. I think though I was just a later arrival to a gathering of soulfulness that has been on since the beginning of things.
When I woke, the world woke with me. The breeze carried it, rich and potent, dizzying in pleasure. Pollen was thick in the air, its nutty smell invaded my senses and reminded me that all life is like this, even if nature speaks in a language mute to our normal senses. It was the single greatest gift one could have received; my soul now pulsed with a life so strong that it would leave many red faced and gasping. Passion moved through my blood like a current of fire, an ancient pathway to the Holy of Holies. Beyond ordinary love, this was sacred fire. It had claimed me; before all of this I was an orphan to all I had known, a pilgrim on a very different journey that did not entirely make sense. All I had been seeking became a memory and was packed up into boxes as I lost my old life to find myself resurrected, a secret life that will come to each of us in our own perfect timing.
A brilliant kind of life lives inside of me, a golden wonder, an energy that is a visitor and guide, strong hands that never err and fills my mind with certainty and knowing. In its hyperversal chambering, I know myself as the divine masculine, my awareness has skipped through thousands of years of error into pungent truth and brilliant illumination where nothing hidden could remain obscured, but found, revealed, atoned and blessed. The truth in me is the truth that lives, and the truth that lives is love. To own it is for some may be difficult, for it requires total honesty to enter into its mysteries with joy. Anything less and it is bliss hindered by struggle. And it is a struggle we all know and are ready for what surely must be. And shall be. Taken, it will keep you. Seduced, it will show you its wonder. It will lift you and show you what was missing from the old error-ridden religions as it banishes you from ever following in the old ways. You will return to the religion that has no religion. It shall be one of no laws save one, no books save its light which illuminates all books. This is the religion of love. It does not reflect, it does not observe, it is itself its own reward and finality moving into each moment fully present and invading everything with its rich sense of possibility. It is nothing but pure freedom and perfect accountability, for this love would do nothing outside of this. But forgotten are the books and words of saints and priests, priestesses and mongrels alike. This one light does not ask of you to be a follower, it inspires you to lead yourself to your own inevitable truth.
There wont be anything to follow.
You do not follow what you are. And this is the rich difference. There are lives curled up within this one. Countless worlds shoot in and out at every second as all of their untapped potential rises into this one, all lines and paths that you were, shall be and could be all intersect in this powerful moment informed and embraced by this great passion and ecstasy. Everything I had ever felt resistance with in me was given a new lease. The slaveholder himself passes into his own glory and is redeemed, forgiven as the heart grows into a nearly incomprehensible wonder that cannot quit and is the source and axis of the All.
I translate this love into ordinary words and in simple ways for the uninitiated. Purely spoke, it is like a fire that cannot burn that which is not prepared. With compassion given to all, I am free to live my life and to sing this song that opens my soul, a great chamber bearing a bride ever-present glistening with the hope of knowing her own greater mystery. He lips glisten in moonlight and her heart bears my name. Her hips gently sway to the rhythm of a great inner ocean. She knows every secret I could ever be and has made an agreement outside all of this to bring this into this world as a great gift. In an instant all that was hidden is revealed. All that I dreamed I became. A silent and certain presence wells up within me, a pulse so strong. It is a thunderbolt that swims through all things and strikes into their core, cracking them open. The secret life of all in its dream is known. There is nothing that cannot be known, for in this communion everything gives up itself as the universe in me seduces and enlivens the universe without in this simple knowing. Everything yearns to be known, and if not known, then that which knows it and gives it that missing piece of its awareness, like a lost piece of some forgotten puzzle that slips seductively into place. The universe is wed to itself in just such instances. We undo the centuries of division that divides us from everything else and nothing is not without its capacity for this union.
I live a life rich in its simplicity. I can sleep in beds draped in silk or on cold concrete and remain in utter bliss. Rivers were my bath, the sun my light. I tore away the old agreements and illusions that money could keep me or any soul could tell me anything less than what I am. It is itself a pulse of certainty, inevitability. I am returned to joy, my body returns to a state that is golden. Heads turn when I moved like a slip of a ghost in a world of shadow. Resolving brilliant around a still deeper core, I am a living presence that bears a trailing flame of passion, not profane but profound, unexpected, nuanced, the scent of a jungle flower. This love ripples through me not for anything. It is now what I am. Its presence scatters illusion and I rest easy in its truth. If what I am is a heresy, then lock me up for I am guilty of this one great wonder which shall always keep me free. I shall remain free but forever bound by its passionate promise to return me to its great love.
My hands tremble now in sympathy to its pulse. My shoulders are strengthened, my mind is made like a temple, my heart consumed by a sacred fire which fills the halls with light. Beneath, an eternal wellspring which shall be that part of me which taps the universe, a deep thundering ecstasy which fills everything I touch with that which is true and which my soul reads as it is delivered to dream outside of illusion. This return to love is a return to ourselves, not an abstraction or idea, but a living presence so fine, so delicate, so promised and wondrous that it shall make a lover out of all. It has me.
Waking The Infinite 