Kundalini Coping Tip

It’s very easy to get down on yourself during awakening, especially as it relates to those who are engaged in emotional release of conditioning. But even as you are, in the words of Peter Gabriel, “digging in the dirt” it does not mean you have to wallow in it.
It is entirely possible to learn how to take out the trash without messing yourself up in the process. This is not refusing to acknowledge what is there, it’s that the pranic force does not make it necessary to ever have to open that dirty trash bag. Toss it, exit the burning building, get out for fucks sake.

There. I said it. Indelicate though it may be, the truth here is that there is no honor in being a martyr to your past and you can grow up, step up, and exit the past and simply be done. You can wallow or you can keep on ascending, your pick. 
The presence of prana is the game changer, you see. Prior to this, what most people have is their rational minds and physical senses. If you allow prana to help you break through the veil of that awareness into the subconscious to find an expanding awareness of both intuition and feeling (not to be confused with emotion). It becomes possible to simply be done once a suppressed emotion has finally been recognized and processed so it can be gone forever (if need be).
There is a big difference between authentic cleansing and simply holding on to your trash while acting like you really are getting rid of it just as your hands clutch onto it for dear life. Or just shoving it down again.

This is why in many old traditions the teachers tell their students to smile as they meditate. I was explaining to my daughter yesterday that there are ways of triggering confidence, happiness, and even joy by learning how to fool your conditioned mind out of feeling negatively. It’s a radical idea: fake it until you make it. 

Buddha said that all change happens right now. You just begin. So change your thoughts. Now. Yes, you might return to sadness or loathing, or a dozen negative states, but you begin by bringing your mind to a new place and hold it there as long as you can. Then, over days and weeks, this becomes a habit. You remain in the new state longer and longer. You hold that feeling and eventually action becomes character, and character, in the words of Gautama Buddha, becomes destiny.Some miss that the only plan is what you intend and help manifest.

There will inevitably come a time when what’s left of your inner junk gets driven to the surface. It can no longer survive in the new you. Like bubbles rising from the depths, they are forced upwards and like bubbles surfacing, spread into the ether as though they were never there. They were nothing more than patterns you loved to hate that imprisoned you in a negative self-talk. Kick them to the curb. If it means repenting and changing your ways now, do so. Fake it until you make it. Time itself will see to it that change comes. And it will.
Is this an inauthentic way to heal or grow? I ask you; is it fake to allow yourself to be as happy as you can muster? This happiness will show you where you still need work. It will. So let it be, and the process will take care of itself and you. Joy will create the contrast you need to see the shadow. There are indeed millions of ways to address awakening that are already authentic and beneficial and can work very well. They have for me.
In Indonesia they teach meditation with a smile. In time, you will find more of the smile to be genuine. Their way might just be quicker and involve less misery. You are constantly reminded of the power of the positive in each moment.
It’s hard enough facing shadow. There is always a reason to be happy and thankful for just being alive here at this pivotal time.

So yes, there will be a time when you know the smile may not be real. But you aren’t doing this to be fake, you are doing this to change, to steer your boat into a new direction.

The Sea Of Sorrow-A Lesson In Sadness

About six years ago I was going through a highly accelerated process in awakening. I had asked for change and I got it. I went through this ego death, a rearranging of the self that moves ego to the back of the bus. During this time I began to encounter a vast stretch of my spiritual ocean I referred to as the “Sea of Sorrow.” Intuitively, I thought my job was to process this sorrow. So I did. Like a man in a boat, I tried to cry out all of the sorrow I felt rising up around me. This went on for over several months. I cried every day, trying to tap deeply into this vast sea.
I realized that this sea that I was feeling could not possibly be mine alone. There just wasn’t that much sadness in my past. I realized once I  stepped back that this belonged to all of us, this vast sea of sorrow. When you awaken, the consciousness you awaken to is that of collective consciousness and how everything is connected. I realized there was no way to process all of it. So I stopped. It had become habitual by then. I weaned myself off over a matter of a few days and steered my own boat out of that sea. I left. I didn’t return. I left and found myself on much calmer waters. My mind changed, clearing. That great sadness became a memory. And there will come a time when fewer years are added to this sea by virtue of fewer people who choose to shed their tears. They choose joy instead of sorrow. And in time, that sea will itself sublime into the ether. It will become a distant memory and anyone who dares return will only find a dry valley where once there were tears. It will have lost all of its magnetic charge on us because it no longer means anything to us.

Do you see how it can be for you?
You choose.

So it’s possible to choose bliss and when you feel this bliss constantly like I do, that bliss alone heals. It heals all the hard places in you. If you think you can heal this neurosis by wrestling with it, by fixing or fiddling with it, you are mistaken. This neurosis is circular and is madness. It feeds on itself and seeks others to raise the same banner as it sadly does, with vigor and passion. There is no rationalizing with it. So? You quit it. You walk away. You become a quitter. 
You quickly begin to forget what it was like to feel like shit and remember instead how perfect bliss is. And one by one you are healed of one conditioned neurosis after another.

Tantra, the core tantra, is about bliss and how it literally can heal you. When you surrender completely and deeply enough, that bliss will penetrate to your cellular DNA  and work out the blocks that are there. This is what kundalini does all on its own as it is. The bliss, as you let it in, heals as deep as you dare to go. This, the soul of tantra, heals your shame, your guilt, and brings you to a place where you just have no more fucks to give. 
There. I said it again. 
You just slip deep into bliss and as you do, it’s as though cell by cell, the magnetic quality of bliss rewires your brain, nervous system, and body. You find yourself wondering just what you were so concerned about moments earlier. This is the beginning of repatterning your brain so you no longer “go there.”
This is the power of tantra, the orgasmic bliss that is the healer. You can feel it with or without sex. And not everyone is ready to harness it for sex. It can be enough just to heal the psyche. It isn’t about sex, you see. It is acknowledging what you are, your incredible capacity to hold this riotously sensual feeling inside until you explode over and over. 
Like Osiris, prana helps you to get put back together a better way.
No, you do not need to roll around in your own garbage just to get it out. You can be happy. You can take each moment microsecond by microsecond, building a powerful wave that is joyous instead of sad.

It’s up to you. I ask, which would you prefer?

~Nemaste!
UPDATE: this morning I experienced an example of something mentioned in this post. I have noticed that over the last few years when I awaken in the morning I experience this odd jolt of transition that I never experienced before having experienced awakening (kundalini). I have noted several people so far who have mentioned this same experience who themselves have gone through awakening (all on their own-no prompting from me) so I am getting the sense it’s fairly normal once you reach a certain stage in the experience.
This is a feeling of dread almost. It’s not the greatest feeling. This morning, though, as I rose from dream I had a smile on my face, thinking about what I had written here, and was keen to see how it might work. I am happy to report that it worked very well indeed. Give it a try. 

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Proofs: Karma Creates Chemistry – Part II

This post is the second installment that is best read in series about how karma creates chemistry and how we can open our lives up to a new horizon, literally a new kind of life by clearing the karmic threads and “debts” which we owe to ourselves as drops in the vast ocean that is consciousness…

 

So I was thinking about how I was able to clear up the karma from this “soul twin” that I had in the beginning of my awakening. I was thinking, too, about  how effortless it was to dissolve the connection that had caused me so much angst as well as bliss.  Mind you, in the beginning, there was this expansive love that I felt as well as this fiery quality that was part of the rush of prana that is kundalini.  This was not an effort at making myself a recluse, but rather that I felt, knew, that this was not all there was.  Most everyone I observed in the “twin” community seemed fairly situated in what I was rapidly feeling was the mythos of the twin flame and comfortable with this view as the twin as “The One.” It was natural, afterall, I had been there, too.  But things were changing for me and I was no longer content with what I saw as a delightful fairy tale, a beautiful story, certainly, but not one that reflected reality.  Yes, I felt the depths of soul love inside of me and I shared this with another, but I also felt the earthly self, both where I was and where she was.  We were oh-so human.

How to deal with this dichotomy, I thought? It seemed to me that this disjuncture was the proof that there was something more at work.  What the twin community was doing, it seemed to me at the time, was the same thing we do when we are putting a puzzle together.  You know those puzzle pieces that LOOK like they fit, but don’t?  I mean those pieces that look exactly like they should fit, but the shape is off so very slightly that you are kind of stumped in that moment?  Yeah, like that.  Now I was watching as some of us were just jamming that puzzle piece into place and saying “good enough!” and going on with it.  I just wasn’t one of those people.  I am a big believer in letting a mystery BE a mystery, yes, certainly, but there is also a time when you ought to use your mind some to roll this thing around, especially when the “mystery” isn’t fitting into any of the discussed paradigms set forth thus far.

I thought about this and wondered what a later soul connection might have involved, and this time around, for soul connection #2 it was similar, but different.  It also involved a miss-identification of responsibility for a host of issues that caused me a lot of hurt and pain with this person, to be quite honest.  I was snagged by this person with her dishonesty, which was very much like my wife before my awakening began.  In fact, I considered at the time that this #2 connection might have been a way to work through what my ex-wife and I had not worked through. They were so similar in some important ways.  Sounds dysfunctional, doesn’t it?  Well, actually, it has turned out that since the two of these people were sooo similar that it has helped a LOT in working through the remaining karmic snags for BOTH.  Despite the fact that something in the back of my head was telling me that what I was being drawn into and WHY I was being drawn into it might well be bad for me.  Different stories, yet so very similar.

The Universe Becomes Your Mirror

In an interesting twist, I have been having a lot of problems popping up with my ex-wife as I have been headed towards the end-game of this soul connection, trouble that she has been initiating all on her own.  This has always been telling to me because whenever I was working through some karmic material it was as though they could feel it and would pop up out of the blue.  The timing on this has always been bizarre, at least in the beginning.  Lately, I just see this kind of behavior as proof for how we are bound by common material and that we can indeed all feel it whether it is conscious or not.

I chose to remain neutral with my ex-wife, though, in this last series of interactions, choosing not to engage her by pointing out the error in her way of behaving (which has always been over-the-top mean and hurtful).  This tack or approach has proven to shake things up in me just enough to help release some significant karmic material in both cases, ex-wife and connection #2.  In this case, the release was sooo simple. God, just to think about how much hand-wringing and worry and concern there had been about approaching this day there had been!  So much self-doubt, so much loathing of myself for being tied to these hard people! The release happened with #2  I when I was able to see an admission that one of them had emotional problems.  All I ever really needed was that moment of honesty from them, that “come to Jesus moment” that never really happened, and probably wouldn’t happen.  This had kept me active and turning on this karmic merry-go-round.  And this moment was not one that involved me talking to either of them, which was actually really nice.  Poof.  On my own, I got the one small thing that I needed that flipped the switch on all of this.  And now?  All of that hard stuff is just gone. I feel different.  I look different.  I now realize that the thoughts that I once had that I often dismissed as just a fairy tale way of being were in fact the depths of who I am, the beauty that was waiting for me on the other side of that garden gate.  One side was thunder clouds and uncertainty and the other side was bright and hopeful without a need to convince myself that anything was anything except what it was. Now, whether dark or light, I just don’t see the dividing line but feel the bliss of simply being.

I will also add that along with this hard behavior taking place as I reached the home stretch in all of this, that I was approached about two months ago out of the blue by a guy I know only peripherally, asking me if I could help him with his business.  As I was working with him and his employees, I felt deep into the energy of the group and found this troubling but interesting swarm of energy there.  I just worked for weeks and felt into it as I went about my day.

I found that there were all of these similar energies that all went back to the male wound.  For the first two to three weeks I only felt the energy.  I really had nothing to go on beyond what I was feeling. But by the third week, people were suddenly opening up and telling me exactly what I wondered about on an energy level.  All of this felt so familiar to me, but I had no hard physical history to pin it to. Without saying a word or asking any questions, except in my mind, they each began to tell me just what I needed to know.

This time, instead of working this like a problem, I accepted it without feeling a need to fix anything.  The interesting thing that happened was that I went from repulsed and upset the first few weeks, to feeling a strange affinity for these men.  I understood where they had been because I had been in similar places, too. I think we all have in one way or another.  It was as though life was giving me this opportunity to step deep into this chasm that was the inner life of these men in order to ponder my own wound, what is called “samscara.” But the brand or nature of their wound was so similar in so many ways to my own. This was tricky…..be in the world, but don’t be of it.  Step into the abyss but remain untouched…..no….not quite….surrender and accept all of it, see it, feel it, know it and don’t feel a stitch of resistance.  Yes, that is much more accurate.

It was at the moment that I began to accept them that the changes began to take place with my ex chiming in with her junk, all in perfect timing.  The distance between these men and their admissions about their past happened within 24 hours of my ex texting me and trying to “yank my chain.”  I remained stolid and calm.  It all passed with some hurt on my side, but no reaction, which was the big difference.  In the past, I knew that she took some pleasure from getting a reaction out of me.  As long as I reacted in pain, it confirmed to her that I was just as messed up as she was.  It was her way of keeping me in the boat.  But wait, no, it was me allowing myself to be controlled, effected, and enmeshed.  And THAT was the difference.  I had control now. Hurt me all you want, or try to; it just no longer works.  The first few times, yes, it still hurts…but the behavior and the energy is actually changing, and this was part of how I just stepped out of that old restrictive suit of clothes that made the man who he was.

After this took place, about a week later, another layer was unfurled and this time there came the beginning of a series of releases. I was able to feel the energetic side of the block releasing from my right lower range of the meridian when I got out of the work van at our work site several days ago.  This was between root and sacral chakras and was not felt IN the chakra like so many releases in the past.  This one was stubborn, bug in, and I felt the root block more as points within the meridian line on the male or solar side of yang energy (based on the Chinese medicine system). Then I was able to read about an admission from this soul connection and it all resulted in this perfectly timed matrix of effects that felt like a landslide or cascade of inner releases that brings me to where I am now. Poof. Gone.

Energetically, I feel different and my thoughts are different, too.  I am no longer obsessed with loss and lack churning inside of me.  Poof.  This buoyancy has resulted in my feeling like I can reach something that I didn’t feel….worthy of.  Can you believe that? With this hard energy weighing me down, I just didn’t feel like I could reach it easily.  Everything had this cast over it that had an edge of the negative. With a root-related block this type of thing relates to issues of nurture and abundance.  If the block is big enough, it can result in problem taking care of ones self or creating abundance.  I knew that my block was partial because of how events happened in my life.  I had always used creative visualization for the important things in my life: school, job, career, and children.  They all came as I had asked.

In my life I have always been able to manifest pretty big things in my life, but they almost always have some kind of hitch in them, sort of like the wish the genie grants you that you always wind up regretting.  Now, though, I know that we no longer have to regret the wish because the wish is now forged in the clarity of the soul’s purpose free from these troubling alliances having to do with loss and lack and hurt and pain and all the rest. This corresponds to the root now being clearer. I should now see a new level of clarity to what is brought into my life through our ability to co-create our lives.  I also find that any problems that come along just don’t flatten me like they had before.

Today as I opened a new book I bought for myself as this change was underway, it revealed a quote by the Buddha that spoke about how releasing the karmic bonds that hold us down to the earth…..free us so we can fly like eagles who can leave this world or be untethered by the concerns that weighed us down.

I have been hoping for this moment for years.  Years. Me an my dear friend Ali  have been talking about this idea which she brought up in our early discussions back in 2008 about how karma creates chemistry.  I wondered at first how anyone would believe such a thing as this?  At first, it didn’t make sense to me.  What I felt in connection felt natural, not fabricated, and this karma=connection sounded a lot like that. There was something about it that didn’t make sense….but now what I know is that the reason why it did not make complete sense at the time was because I was seeing through  distorted lenses, that my way of sensing and seeing the world was itself….bent. I was myself captured by karma and you cannot fix an old problem using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place (thank you, Albert E.) And this is something that you will need to know about yourself if you find that this also makes little sense to you. I wont ask you to believe me, just file it away and then get on with your “work” and when the day comes when it happens to you, let’s talk.

When I  explained how karma created chemistry to my second soul connection, she did not believe what I was saying.  I hadn’t either.  It just didn’t seem right, based on how the energy felt. It felt like a “foreverness” that you just don’t want to ever let go of.  There are lots of people similarly hooked in the twin phenomenon that keeps them engaged but not healing the blocks.  But do you know why this FEELS like a forever thing?  Do you really?

The Reward Cycle

Dopamine.  I know it sounds simplistic, but it is really that simple.  Our reward centers physically are designed to give us that peasant reward for just about ANYTHING that our mind/brain believes is a good thing.  Sex is one of these things, but there are loads of others. Prana creates bliss and as it is identified, the mind sends a signal to the body to produce dopamine among other things to reward us for something that is actually very good for us.  The idea of connection with another person whom we love generates this rich chemical landscape that keeps us coming back, though, and the connection itself is most often karmic.  This means that on the one side you are feeling prana flow, which is good, but the karma is in there, too, which is a kind of soup of both shadow and light, so you get a bit of both.    If you have a lot of negative karma surrounding an issue, then the chemical train gets colored with that karma and you have the potential for bliss along with the chaotic emotions that are still suppressed within the psyche. This is the double-edged sword of life.  You have the dark and the light.  Learning how to navigate through all of this is what yields victory in clarifying and cleansing the self. There is this very insightful saying in the Gospel of Philip that says in essence that God is a dyer of souls. When God dyes a soul, it goes in one color and comes out white.  This is to say that the dying work that God does is to clear us of all color.  This is not to say that we are colorless. We do not lose our character or personality, but that we lose that which made it hard for us to see the divine within.

Dopamine also does something else where pain and trauma are concerned.  When it is created in the body, it helps to eleviate the pain so that it does not burn deep grooves in our minds.  It helps us to move on.  This is one reason why kundalini works on emotional blockages so well; the body is pumping out a LOT of dopamine (and there is evidence for this state at various stages of the awakening process that I wont go into here but I write a lot about it on the blog).  This is also why people who have PTSD or other types of trauma-based issues will often turn to opiates to soothe the pain.  In fact today as I sat waiting to pick my child up from an appointment, I listened on the radio about a woman who had begun using heroin as a way of dealing with her pain.  She spoke of how it soothed her, made her feel like she could cope.  Sadly, by doing this, she was actually shutting down her body’s own native ability to produce the compounds necessary to make her feel the way she needed in order to heal. Dopamine does this, it is the body’s own natively produced opiate and I can tell you that once I identified what it was I was experiencing that was making me feel so peaceful and smoothed out and wonderful and dreamy, I was able to see how a strong “dump” of dopamine into my system also corresponded with releases.  To put it simply; you just don’t CARE about the pain anymore.  When you do this, your brain and body can simply release the old hurt like that: poof!  The mind stop supporting the old programming and the brain and body are now charged and ready to take in a different story.  The result?  You feel instantly transformed. You are literally reconnecting the brain and the body in new ways, creating new pathways for though to flow.  At an energetic level, the change is felt in a myriad of ways as well.

The dopamine cycle works for a host of reasons, from building a strong family unit for the rearing of children, to the benefit that being with another gives to us as a couple as well as the cohesiveness of a community. There are other compounds involved like oxytocin (which is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter—think on that one for a minute!) a little adrenaline, estrogen, and testosterone.  Once our mind/brain has identified something as important enough, it sets up a reward system for it.  And we can become addicted to it in just the same way we become addicted to the very behaviors that keep us enmeshed in certain karmic merry-go-rounds.  But is this bad?  The curious thing is that some people, in order to get the dopamine blast into their systems will use some behavior that will trigger it.  The important part is whether you are using something else to make it happen, or are you choosing to just feel differently, which is itself the spiritual compliment OF dopamine.  You see the difference?  If its, say, sex, that creates the dopamine reward trigger, then you can become a sex addict.  The sign is that sex is an empty experience for you at some point because after all, you aren’t in it for the experience that sex can give, not really.  You are after the high of the dopamine. As a result, sex addicts wind up having a feeling of emptiness in the wake of sex. It is a terrible place to be.  They need to move the dopamine cycle, the reward cycle, so that it is not divided from the self by any degrees of separation. The trick, people, is to learn how to trigger dopamine production in your body so that you get a nice flow going all the time at a low healthy level so you mirror the physical state of peace.  We have forgotten how to do this, or that the body will respond in a fraction of a second to a desire to feel bliss by pumping out dopamine. We are a generation of pill poppers.  This does not solve the problem, it only masks it.  What is curious is that it appears that when your body is producing dopamine for no other reason than to feel good (not just for a reward cycle) the body does not appear to become addicted to it.

Sometimes the glitches in our karma can go on for lifetimes.  The trick here, the whole point of all of this inner work, is to choose the beneficial positive karma over the negative ones.  If you watch people who are obsessively upset, you will see that they are actually enjoying being upset.  They spend so much time engaged in explaining why they hurt and why.  Most often, they are pointing to some source outside of themselves as the culprit, when all along the culprit is  within. Through a simple turn in awareness, the true culprit is seen for what it is.  Doing this work accomplishes this.  And the result?

For me, when this last wrinkle unfurled in me and the hooks dropped away, I felt….a series of new feelings that felt authentic and good.  My energy felt buoyant.  So simple, so clean and so clear.  I didn’t feel this clenching tightness that could also be associated with sexual tension in an intimate relationship.  When I say tension, this was a tension that felt a little over the top and was a kind of warning signal even as I was unable to change it until I healed the karma at its deepest level. The really interesting thing was how supercharged my sexual energy felt in the wake of this.  I was actually concerned that it would all just go away.  As kundalini/prana cleanses the body/self, the energy is less chaotic or intense.  I worried that I might lose this intensity.  I identified that the intensity made me feel vital and alive….I just didn’t like the hardness.  It finally felt like a flowing powerful form of energy that was unencumbered by these tight or tense spots that I knew were there but was powerless to do anything about (until they were healed).  Like some silent reminder, they let me know in each moment that they were there, these tight spots, these blocks. But in the end, it was much-ado about nothing.

The “Reset”

There was a point in my awakening when I had what I call a “reset” of my energy field about a year and a half into my awakening.  This “reset” helped me to more clearly relate to the blocked energy that still remained in me. How this was done was completely unexpected by both me and my healer.  She was told by her guides to simply follow their guidance and take on my energy for a moment.  I was on the phone, doing this at a distance, and didn’t know that this was happening.  She told me to hang up and just breathe deep and wait.  I felt a sudden lightness to my being that was very nice.  Peaceful.  But after about one minute, I felt my old energy come back down around me.  The only way I can describe it was that in taking on my energy, by entering into my energetic capsule, she was able to lend or imbue or surrogate a much needed form of awareness that I was able to inherit as a result of this exchange.

What took its place was….not easy. At all.  I think if I had known what was about to happen, I would not have gone along with it.  What it felt like was a screeching clamor of metal like the sound of a freight train wrecking all around me.  It was accompanied by a deep and abiding physical pain that remained with me throughout my awakening until I released the remaining material. Okay, so that sounds really bad.  But actually, it wasn’t.  This was NOT physical pain.  What it was, was referred pain.  This was soul pain, a pain I had been blocking from my awareness….even in the midst of awakening.  Yes, I was aware of this pain, I had felt it, but I had simply dialed the volume down.  My healer dialed the volume back up so that I could hear what was happening.  I was, simply, much more aware of what was happening to me. And this sped me along on an accelerated path because the pain I felt in my heart was really hard.  But when the pain was released, as the blockages were released that following year, what followed in its wake, was a wonderful feeling that I keep with me to this day.

This level of awareness based on this “reset” has been of huge benefit to me because it has enabled me to see or feel into my energy body that much more deeply so that I can detect even the smaller things in a much more vivid way.  It will, in time, make me that much better of a healer should I choose to go that route.  It was this awareness that created a sense of pain in one of my meridians that helped me to pinpoint the exact area a year ago so I could show my Kahuna healer where to concentrate on in order to begin releasing material there through energy medicine and deep tissue massage.

And?  Poof!  Gone was all of the obsessing over this person I felt connected to but who I knew had been hurting me and would continue to do so because of her entitlement to being trapped in the meme of victim.  I had been told that I just needed to forgive this person…..but in the end, it wasn’t forgiveness that did it.  What did it for me was in being able to see things so clearly….something that I KNEW but that I seemed to hear from them as being the truth.  That was my hitch; I seemed to need to know that they knew.  I know that seems weird, but for my brand of karma, that was just what the doctor ordered.  Quietly, I was able to simply slip the bonds and soar.  Now, how it does it for you, what YOUR trigger is, I can’t say.  For me, though, it was like someone finally saying, “I know that what I was doing was messed up….I know…..and I am sorry about it…” That was all I needed to know, that yes, they knew that what they were doing was off. And now?  I feel no draw to this kind of thing at all.  It is as though I have transcended a murky layer in the ocean and am now in a much clearer place.

Having said all of this, my own energetic awareness shows me that there is still more murk in the root chakra, but it does not seem to be so entangled with others and this blame game that I have gotten tangled in.  I for one am glad to be free from it.  Come what may, at the least THIS part has been cleared, something I have been working on clearing for years.

How It Works

Until such an event takes place where you can resolve the “hitch” or the “hook” of the karmic connection, you remain on the merry-go-round caught in a recursive set of behaviors due to a suppressed set of emotions that are begging to be healed.  This can be done by a simple moment of honesty.  In this one important wrinkle, I was waiting on the honesty of another in order to feel the sense of release I hoped for for so long.  And for me, in my case, it released a whole series of difficult to live with feelings.  Now, free from all of this, I can FEEL myself unencumbered by the weight of another and their feelings of incompletion.  I simply had to know once and for all that this was not mine….but had been making it mine in this codependent cycle that was my karma.  Now with this new clarity of self and heart and soul, I ask myself: what am I going to do now? It will be interesting to see what manifests in the days that come.  With the karma gone, so too is the old chemistry that was caught in the dark goddess.  I am ready for the one who dwells in the light.  And the ONLY reason why I am going to the trouble of opening up like this is because each of us can reach this same place in our own time.  It is possible!  Whoot!

There are numerous methods that can be useful to you in assisting prana in doing its work re-magnetizing you to your larger authentic self.  I have done all of this work without traditional methods like yoga.  While I esteem yoga greatly, I know that it is but one of many methods that can be used.  Ultimately, the goal is doing what makes you flow and open up to the energy.  Breath work helps a lot, including alternating nostril breathing, something I created for myself that I call “Active meditation” which involves working on moving energy in my body and dropping into a deep state where I can feel the buoyancy of my lovely energy that connects me to the universe and reveals to me how the presence of the All is hidden in the atoms and cells of my body.  Centering attention on centers where you feel resistance helps to clear flow, as does movement, ANY movement from dance to things like Chi Gung, deep tissue massage, energy work, reiki, and more.  If you are dealing with awakening, drop into your deeper self and ask yourself what you most need to know.  Try it; then await the answer.  I will bet that you will wind up with resources coming out of your ears….people handing you books, people showing up to act as mirrors, teachers, guides, any number of things can manifest themselves. So trust in the power that is yours and that is also part of the universe.  You are, after all, a part of it and it is part of you!

नमस्ते

Chakra Removal – What The…..?

It is barely two weeks since my query about the need for work on helping to build a broader awareness of our energy body anatomy when along comes this notion out on the interwebs that muddies the waters on understanding how our energy works.  This level of distortion and misinformation needs to be carefully pointed out and understood for what it is.  The idea that is being floated is that you can remove your chakras.

Right.  Think on that one for a bit.

While I can catch why the people who are putting this forward are doing it, they are misunderstanding or mis-perceiving what is actually going on.  It is interesting to see how we can turn a phenomenon on its head just a tiny bit and wind up with rather significant distortions.

But before I dig into what is happening, let me first explain that removing a chakra is nearly exactly the same thing as trying to remove a current in water, or taking the cycling or vibration away from any form of energy.  Right. A current can be moved  so that it is amazingly calm so that there is little turbulence within it.  However, there still remains a vibration there.  it becomes finer and finer, but all energy is movement.  So far, this has never been seen in any way to NOT be true when it comes to energy,  ANY energy.

You see, all energy exists in frequency, all of it from subatomic particles, atoms, compounds, light, microwaves,  and thought energy. We are ourselves channels for a life force energy called Qi, Chi, Prana, etc., Our own thoughts and feelings serve to attenuate this energy from its universal field form, and will broaden, limit, or allow for it depending on the mind and heart of the person channeling that energy (which is everything and everyone who is alive on the planet).

We are in some aspects here to realize who and what we are.  Part of this is understanding what being a conduit for this energy is about.  Opening up to this flow of energy that is prana and that is awakening brings awareness to who we are as multidimensional beings, as higher selves.  The “work” of Awakening is in how well we allow this force to do the work for us, to inhabit us clearly and cleanly without distortive elements in the mix. The effort is in realizing who we are, and this “who” happens to so often result in a being that is not in conflict with anything, but sees things as they are. It turns out that this is often what takes place with yogis, yoginis, priests, priestesses, monks, shaman, etc.  The Lakota say “Make me a hollow bone” when seeking to be the best healer that they can be.  There is this journey that takes place with most people once they find this awakening and what it does….which quickly, sometimes slowly, clearing you out of the dross that has been carried over from the past.  This is the work of Ho’oponopo, which means “setting it right” which is what we consider to be closer to our state of origin, the primal state, the authentic self or being.

The idea that we remove anything except blockages is denying the energetic reality of our souls being in flesh.

So the idea here that is circulating around lately is that a chakra can be removed.  In the sites that are talking about this as a real thing, they are mistaking the removal of blocked energy as the removal of the chakra. Blocked energy in awareness is what serves to attenuate energy so that it becomes turbulent.  This is what most people feel in the beginning of awakening as the intense energetic effects of kundalini.  It is more correct that this turbulence or intensity is the direct result of having dirt accumulated along the interior of a pipe or garden hose such that it causes a “drag” on the energy and makes everything much more noticeable in awareness. But turbulence is not peace.  It helps, then, to know a little energy101.

A chakra is a vortex of energy that is created as a result of an accumulating flow of many lines of force that run through the body as both an electrical and pranic charge (electric the body produces, prana is created as a subtle finer form of energy that the body also uses as well as consciousness). These channels are called meridians in the Chinese system and nadi in the Hindu.  Most people are used to thinking we have seven chakras.  We in fact have many more than just the seven.  We know about the main seven larger ones because these are the most obvious to feel. These run up along the central trunk of the body, But chakras are merely interaction points within the energy body and these points can accumulate suppressed emotional material. Thus we have the concept of “chakra clearing.” But a chakra itself is without real substance.  It is formed as a result of the flow of energy in the field.  While the meridians or nadi show very real structure, this is energetic.

When I awakened I was shown a whole series of things that I had not realized before awakening.  Most of them I have found have been confirmed on various information sites such as Wikipedia, the Veda’s and Upanishads.  The flow of energy I was shown by the intelligence that is this energy is that the chakras are themselves what happens between the two currents that run up the Ida and Pengala channels, what are called the male and female currents. As the energy runs up along the spine the energy changes pitch or vibration.  As this pitch changes, there is a feedback that happens between the negative and positive poles on each side of the spine. The chakras will become more active when there are varying flows of energy from one side to the other.  This can create the vortex effect.  The chakra will “turn” or there will be more “movement” as a result of a more even flow between the two sides of the Ida and Pengala nadi.  When this takes place you can feel something that is translated into a sense of movement.  Your whole body can wind up feeling like it is moving, and just the centers called chakra will feel like they are moving.  But this effect is the result of the energy rushing up and down and radiating outward.  When you allow your energy to flow naturally, you will also often feel a movement of the chakras. But the chakra is the result of many lines of force coming into a center.  You can hold it back or let it flow.  This can cause the chakra to be still or to move.  The chakra itself is like a whirling vortex.  It is less anatomy as it is EFFECT.  See?

The more these lines of force accumulate or gather, the stronger the force is felt in terms of flow.  It is also why when we describe the chakras, we describe the seven major ones along the core or trunk of our bodies.  We simply can feel these the easiest of the many others that we have. Imagine how it must be inside the vascular system when one vein connects to another vein.  Don’t you think there is some change in the flow as one smaller vein joins into a larger vein?  And what about how major veins connecting into the aorta that runs up the center of the body?  There would exist a large flow of blood and this would naturally feel differently than a small vein in, say, the arm.  In a WAY it is similar with the nadi system of etheric channels that criss-cross the body like a vast nervous system.

These channels are polarized to handle the negative and positive aspects of the energy field in our bodies and as a result we see that there are negative and positively charged channels in the energy body. These are called Yin and Yang in the Chinese system and are called Ida and Pengala in the Indian.  Along the trunk of the body the two channels sit alongside the central channel where the physical spinal column is located as well as the Shushumna nadi or channel.  The Shushumna nadi is associated with our most transcendent energy and leads to expanded or accelerated states of consciousness.

You can see how many of these vertical lines there are in the Chinese meridian diagram below.  While the Chinese system does not identify the chakras, they do a good job of identifying the main channels that move through the arms and trunk of the human body. The Hindu system has the nadis.  I am including first a map of the nadi and meridians to show how similar they are.  They are both based on careful observation over many years.  There are more breakthroughs that will be coming along in the years to come, some are already here with us and are awaiting being reported about.  But for now, the old stuff:

Nadi chart. Source: http://www.yinyoga.com/ys1_3.1.2_nadis.php

The seven chakras lie along a main line of force in the trunk of the body, and form a field of both electrical flow and an electrical field.  In my work with the awakening process, I have found that I have an expanded awareness of how energy works in the body.  None of what I have seen or observed has suggested anything about chakras being removable.  But what it has done is it has shown me that prana follows or is folded into the electricity that the body creates. The chakras are a direct result of our being connected to the universal energy flow.  It is at once a subtle energy as well as an energy that our bodies appear to need like water or air in order to properly function. In awakening it is known just what a stimulating effect this can have on the body such as the endocrine system.  Since 2006-7 when I had the first stirrings of awakening, I have never gotten sick (beyond sinus infections….I seem to be physically predisposed to them in spring and fall).  I work with students who get the flu and mono and all manner of problems, but I have yet to come down with a bad cold or influenza.

The Electrical Aspect

It is helpful to understand how energy arises in the body and where it all starts.

Electrical current is created at the cellular level, and happens as a result of an alternating inspiring and expiring within the cells themselves of both potassium and sodium, along with the intake of calcium.  When sodium is taken in while potassium is expired from the cell, a small electrical potential is created.  This electricity is used by the body to send signals from the body to the brain. (Go HERE to read up on the story of how electricity is created–fascinating stuff!) It is a vast electrical system that allows for a broad range of feedbacks in the form of information to go from cells, to organs, and on to the brain.

Along with this electrical energy is a higher vibrational energy that also sends information that we call prana. What prana is is hard to say since it has never been charted, filmed, or viewed by western science.  We do know what prana does by way of feeling and observing it, though (which is the same thing) Psychics and sensitives, though, have been able to feel and see it in the form of the human aura.

The human aura reveals all aspects of the self as a series of interwoven “templates” or bodies of energy, one nested into the other, that reveal information about the emotional, mental, spiritual, energetic, and physical aspects of our beings.  All of it can be seen or “read” in the aura.  There are many ways to detect this energy, through “seeing” and through feeling.  While we do not have much information through western science about prana, we do have a lot from the Chinese and Indian cultures.  It turns out that this energy can be seen or detected internally through the sensory abilities of the energetic body.  Sometimes this is glimpsed through the third eye, but it can also be observed or sensed through any number of internal non-physical senses.  These are all described as being the “psychic” senses because they do not come in through the physical senses themselves. These are the senses that you have as a being that is a soul having a physical experience, and so these senses are as native to you as your physical ones, but learning how to tune into them is often considered a “revolutionary” activity here on our world.  But you have them and about 6.5 billion others do to, even though they are not using them.

Particles, Waves, Fields, and Flows

Energy fields and electrical energy flows are two sides of the same coin, but they have different properties. A line of energy that flows from one end of the body to another as in the case of electrical signals send information linearly. These flows of energy can be seen as carrying particles called electrons which are either negatively or positively charged and is the “substance” for the physical body to send signals from one place to another fast.  A field, though, is able to send a flow of energy through all space and all time because it has no mass, is not particle-based and thus has no mass.  If you are up on your Einstein, you will know that mass is what keeps you stuck here in this one dimension or space (and physical matter certainly has mass). A particle is very useful for very physical things while a field is something that may well impact the etheric body and the soul and super-consciousness, giving it properties that allow us to go beyond the here and now, literally, in thought and awareness. Sound wild?  Well it is, and it is part of what makes knowing your expanded self so amazing (because you are utilizing this aspect of your being in an more aware manner!)

BUT. A field and a flow are not separate.  You do NOT get a particle when a wave is present any more than you get a wave when a particle is present.  You get BOTH.  The particle/wave duality is itself two sides of the same coin.  One does not produce the other.  They both co-exist.  They are co-dependent, you might say.

Both particle and field, though, are just as important as carriers of information in the body and in consciousness, though.  In fact, the brain shows a mirror resemblance to these two “sides of the coin” in our bodies with a left brain that is linear while the right brain is non-linear.  It also turns out that the left side of the body is known to cohere to the yin or feminine receptive “cool” energy that flows through what the Hindu system describe as the “Ida” etheric (nonphysical prana energy) channel, moving up the main trunk of the body and then does a flip at the corpus callosum and goes into the right brain where the structure of the right brain corresponds with the feminine force we call “kundalini shakti.” It is something that I have observed that corresponds with the awakening of the right brain into a fuller way alongside the awakening of the cosmic energy we call kundalini.  The truth, though, is that both this “new” energy is just the addition of an opposite energy that has been suppressed in most every person on the planet (which then makes kundalini a “rare” event!).

To understand this character of both the energy and the brain, I suggest that you watch Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED Talk (it opens in a separate window–I also put the link at the end, too, in case you want to keep ploughing through this) where she observed first-hand what happens when the left brain is shut down as a result of a stroke.  Her experience?  The marvelous bliss of enlightenment.  For a few hours she was able as a brain scientist, to observe the right brain only.  The experience was enough to move her to tears simply recounting the experience.  The awakening of kundalini is the awakening of awareness.  That is all.  When we allow this awareness to open up in us, our greater potential is realized.

The other side of the body (right) has the yang energy, which is described as hot and more linear in its nature.  It is also described as being like the masculine. This energy flows up the trunk of the body in what is called the Pengali naddi, which is a nonphysical channel through which this force flows.   These are forces that all go well beyond any human nature and into forces in nature and that pervade the universe.

What I have described to you is what the Chinese have charted as the “meridians” and what the Indians have described as naddi. Now here is the clincher that brings all of this into a unity:  as all of these lines of force flow into a main channel, the two polarities of the energy are expressed as a vortex in the field.  The “structure” of the chakra is itself a fux field that moves up and down the center of the trunk of the body (most noticeably there) as two polarized energies running alongside each other.  If it makes it easier to understand, this arrangement is the same as all flux field or energy fields.  The sun has these, the earth has them, and all electrical fields have them along with living things as well. These fields create a shape that is like an ovoid sheath that follows the shape of the body as the flow of energy runs through it.  In the core where the spinal column also is physically located lies the center or “eye” of this flux field of electrical and pranic energy. This creates a kind of donut shape or what is being called a “torus.” A torus is an expression of what energy does, which is to have both positive and negative poles in its structure.  As this field moves, it creates the vortex effect that we know as a chakra.

This is the basis for the chakra system.  In order to be alive, to be sentient, in order to be focused in a body, you must have a chakra.

But what these people are putting forward is a misperception of what the chakras do. The misperception is taking place when a block is removed from the field of a person, which results in a smoothing out of the flow of the energy along the two Ida and Pengala lines in the pranic body system, which results in a smoother flow of energy in consciousness. This is a natural result of removing blocks, which consist entirely of stored or repressed memory as emotions not fully felt that get lodged in the energy body (in the chakras also). These are along locations that correspond with the frequency of both the chakra center in general and with the type of stored emotion (this is why certain chakras will be associated with certain personality or emotional traits—its all frequencies of energy!).  As stored material is removed, these “discs” or”wheels” of energy are found to “calm” down.  And they do as a result of all of this blocked material being released.

What happens is that the chakras move more smoothly, and are not as turbulent for the simple fact that the blocked material is no longer creating this turbulence.  But the idea that you can remove a chakra is strong enough a belief in a person that they can surrogate this idea or confuse this idea of letting go or release as having their chakras removed. In fact, as you remove enough material, the inner world of your energy changes and a new world opens up.  This, though, is just the beginning.  A chakra is not being removed in this “operation” but a release of the material that is stored, which results in a calmer state of being.  Always, as this material is released, it results in a calmer and calmer energetic state. You can have very strong energy in such a state, but it is like a wind that blows through a house when all the windows are open instead of a house with windows partly open. In one case the wind blows without any resistance while in the latter case, there is a lot of resistance and turbulence created.  Same energy, different results.  Our purpose here is to learn how to manage this energy in a meaningful and more peaceful way.

Alongside this is the strange notion that the chakras were created  by entities in order to gain control over our energy bodies by way of karmic contracts. As if forces larger than us are controlling us, and they are not all benign.

What is  accurate is that we are all sovereign beings who are having to face up to the sheer mass of error and hurt that lies within us as a field of accumulated blocks. These blocks, which make our energy less than smooth and peaceful, is what also attracts entities.  I can tell you from first-hand experience of removing etheric entities from others and myself that the issue with ANY entity is the direct result of a fault that is first in us that we have yet to clear up that is attracting the entity in the first place, rather than the result of beings somehow implanting us with something.  First rule in all energy medicine is nothing comes into us that we have not first admitted.  Most often this “allowing” comes in the form of the choices we have made in the past. We want to think we did not “decide” to allow a being to hitch a ride, but when it comes to energy, the language is different.  You attract not based on your conscious permissions but by the part of you that is subsumed in your subconscious where many blocks lay beyond your conscious awareness.  This does not mean that you did not give permission.  You give permission based on HOW you are.  The entities that hitch their rides on us do not understand “permission.”  They only know the fundamental law of energy, which is that like attracts like.  Understand this, and you will begin to understand how this all has happened to everyone on the planet.

When we fall away from our divine nature, forgetting what we are, we naturally create negative karma through our actions. But how we feel is how our energy field flows. How it flows is how it also attracts. So think about what the “flow” of anger is like, or fear, or jealousy.  All of these emotions, positive and negative, all attract based on their vibration, on their underlying character. You can change the vibration by clearing up what the problem was in the first place within you, and it is always something that has not been fully felt.  It is some hurt you felt from the past that serves to create these blocks and also opens you up to entities.  Go that?

Its simple, really, but it is also a lot of “work” to simply find your own inner grace and allow the error of your past to simply fall away.  This “work” can take most people years to do. There is a lot there for us to undo, and its something that takes place over multiples of five years on average….so that in the first five years of awakening a general amount of blocked energy is cleared for most people, with a steady refining taking place into more and more subtle fields of awareness, of consciousness. This is more a steady spiraling of progress that has no end.  But by removing the stored material, you will also remove the places that are unhealed in you that create open areas in your energy field for outsiders to latch on. And to be clear; these beings as they are experienced directly here on our plane are themselves not highly intelligent beings.  They are themselves like energy fragments that have a form of intelligence and are attracted to certain frequencies of human energy since these energies are most familiar to them. When you remove the energy that attracts them, you will feel them also fall away and not return, and if they do try to return, they wont be able to access you as they have in the past.  It is as though a wound has closed in your energy field that these entities have drawn from.  In truth, it is merely a frequency of energy that you are creating with the prana that you have in your body.  It is like taking vibrational energy and turning it into something….and in this case, it just so happens that the things you are creating is delightful to lower vibrational entities.  When you clean up your act, issues with these beings falls away.

The issue of entities is important because just as you have a higher self, so too do these beings.  When we can heal ourselves with awareness of what it is we are doing and what is happening to us, we can also give these beings a little boost, a kind of final send off that if done properly, can at the very least open the door to that entity to evolve in an entirely new way once they are free from us as hosts.  Imagine how huge this could be for us here on earth and for people who are aware of these types of entities. Instead of this being a big huge drag, we could be making HUGE change on an evolutionary scale by facing up to what we each have done in ourselves to open us to these entities, and then to aid these lower forms so that their higher forms also evolve.  This is in truth the great discovery that awaits those who dive into this kind of work.  It can all be an adversary, or it can all be an ally.  Every single being I have encountered has appeared to me being more mono-dimensional than us as humans.  I have removed these beings both from myself and from someone I was connected to at one stage of my development.  I have also seen individuals who have held onto their entities because they believed that they were a kind of protector or ally.  The truth though is that none of us need protection. When we correct ourselves, when we clear ourselves, energetically, the protection that is our own pure vibration naturally emerges as the “white light” that is experienced during awakening.

If entities trouble you, look first at yourself for where the chink in your armor lies.  This is where these come from, and if we want to clear up their influence, each of use need to begin the work of clearing our own fields of the stored material that makes it hard for us to know our true selves.

Chakras are the RESULT of energy flow through the body and are something that cannot be removed.  They form an integral structure of your energy field as a physical and nonphysical being here on earth.  Each chakra will express some aspect of your person-hood and soulfulness.  Like your ego, they are not something to be plucked out and gotten rid of as some have believed.  As Taishen Deshimuru, a Zen master, once observed, it is the ego of the ordinary self that is the eye that observes the cosmic mind (which is cosmic ego!).  What you DO remove is the backlog of stored material, and this leads to a calming of the energy so it flows smoothly, almost imperceptibly.  But ridding yourself of chakras? Its like trying to rid yourself of ego.  For as much as everyone tries to do it and talks about it, there is no one who has ever achieved it.  And that, dear reader, is worth a good giggle at the very least.

I hope that this helps clear up or clarify a few things about the role that energy plays in our bodies.  The chakras can become MUCH smoother when we clear them, and this is really very positive work to do….but it does not mean that the chakra is removed, no.  Just use observation.  Also the role that the entities that are mentioned are merely the result of what our past choices have been to be anything less than our divine potential; our highest.  So keep striving, bright lights!  Keep on your shine and let it flow and runneth over.  As you remove the strands of shadow in your field of awareness, so too will the influences such as beings that are attracted to the less than perfect parts in you. In time, it will all resolve back to its root, back to its origin.  The origin?  Its a kind of Garden Of Eden where we are no longer separate, but together as a species doing what is in the highest for all.  That is a tall order, but this is taking place person by person.  Right now!

Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED Talk

Working Through The Centers

NOTE:  I know….another long post.  Sorry about that, really. But I am asking you on an adventure and we can’t do that with a bunch of bulletted text, can we? So here goes the long version that asks you take a cup of tea and a cookie or something and just soak into it…

Imagine that overlaid on your body is an extremely fine webwork of energy lines, fine as spiders thread which create a vast jungle of pathways that align to organs and centers in your body that are physical that these lines help to feed the necessary nutrient of life force or prana to. You can’t see or touch these lines, but you can feel them.  In fact, there are people, like myself, who can see the energy radiating off of them which can tell you all about where that person is physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  It sounds a little wild to some people, but really, its only because you have never heard of it or experienced it directly for yourself.  But when you do, it is a game changer.  But you don’t have to see this energy in order to work with it.  There is a lot that you can do with it that is healthy and beneficial.

These lines that make up the energy body begin so small that they are difficult to see.  They go down in scale to subatomic since the energy force literally does feed right into and out of the subatomic.  Its a very very detailed system for carrying energy.  Most systems for understanding this only show the seven chakras that go up the core of the body.  In the same way that your vascular system goes from extremely small structures that feed into organs and cells, they get bigger and bigger like the branches of a tree.  Finally they go up a central main trunk, which is where the most obvious centers of vortex energy reside.  We call these “chakras” which mean “wheel” or “disc” in the Sanskrit.

You don’t need to know anything about esoteric traditions to know and understand what a chakra is or what your energy is.  I can tell you that by becoming sensitive to energy fields that are in others around you and by feeling your own energy, you can learn right away FROM the energy itself to know how it behaves and how incredibly complex but beautiful it is. By learning directly with the energy, you can allow your own natural intuitiveness to bloom.  Most people feel they have to learn this from another person, but I say that you literally have the capacity within you to decode the information for yourself because it is what you are.  But absent that, a few very basic guidelines about how to reach a place where the energy of the infinite can move through you with calm and peace.

Blocks As Solid (Ideas and Emotions)

We like to think of energy as something that is not solid, but I want to propose to you that at the level of energy itself, the energy body has amazing structure and a kind of “solidity” to it that makes the lines that run through it that the Chinese have charted as “meridians” as incredibly consistent from one person to the next.  Far from being just a current or amorphous flow of energy, the energy that makes up our consciousness is amazingly structured.  It is out of this “solidity” that energetic objects can get stuck in the system that is our light body.  In the same way that food can get stuck in your throat, energy can be stuck, sometimes for years, lifetimes even, in your energy body.  The result of removing the block is that perception and awareness changes and the person feels much more peaceful and happy.

But we are a cluster of thousands of these blocks.  These blocks are always emotions that were not fully felt in one way or another. Do you fear your rage? Do you find yourself putting it away or stuffing it down?  That breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend where you pulled yourself together and stopped crying because you were afraid you were going to just fall apart? Its possible that you were stuffing something down. Or how about that moment when you feared something that you did not understand…a feeling that just hung there like dirty laundry on the clothesline?  Afraid, we leave it alone…..and we shove it down.  By not fully processing any form of emotion, we literally create a kind of bottled knot of whatever that emotion is that gets stored in the energy body.

The Body Thinks

There is a lot of evidence that I am finding that shows HOW the energy body and the physical body work together to either store or to release these blocks.  It has to do with the nervous system, the brain, as well as the current of prana and how it is polarized in the life force field itself.

The light body is made up of two fields of energy that are joined and that replenish each other. They aren’t really even “two” but two ends of a spectrum of energy that represents a kind of cosmic totality that makes it possible for you to then connect into the totality that exists beyond you.  This is the way this energy works, and is why you can feel the rush of the universe move through you in moments of nondual awareness (or as a continual awareness depending on the extent of your experience).  Two-in-one (energies) who then birth a transcendent third energy.  You see? All of this activity is felt as taking place not in the head but all through the body.

What I am getting at is that there is already evidence to support that the body “thinks” and stores memory.  Now this stands in direct opposition to what we all have been taught, but what we have learned about our capacity to store memory is simply lacking.  Consider that the tissues in your body contain neurons, enough neurons in your gut for the brain of the average cat.  THAT is a lot of processing power.  What do you think our gut is doing with all of that?  What does your gut tell you? 🙂 So you see, the body has this capacity for dealing with memory, yes, and there is also a way to use somatics (body knowledge) to aid in releasing these memories.  Unlike the brain, the body seems to be more selective in the memories it stores.  It seems at this point in time, to be storing memories that it has had trouble with.  These can now be released once the individual is ready to release them.  And doing so is a saving grace because whatever the short coming was, or the fault or hurt or fear or rage, it all evaporates after releasing these blocks.

In the work I was doing with my friend Alison who is herself awakened and a gifted intuitive, we found that even matter itself has a propensity to hold blocked energy.  I one experience that unfolded that I write about in my book, I describe how we unlocked an energy that had been blocked at a physical site that involved the murder of a man who had been drowned in a lake.  At the time, we did not know that a body had been found in the lake that we saw in our inner vision, but it had been discovered as the waters receded in what was then a dry lake bed (and his body was discovered along with some of his belongings enough to identify him).  We were able to describe a scenario that had a group of friends going out on the lake in the middle of the night with one of their friends not returning.  By simply recognizing the truth of this event, we were able to release it.  Six months after our encounter our local newspaper printed a story about the man who had died in the lake!  It was pretty amazing that events in the physical world would be so closely tied to our own encounter.  The newspaper story told the story of the four friends who took this man out onto the lake.  What we saw was that he was murdered for an elicit love affair with the wife or girlfriend of his friend. It was perhaps the reason why the blocked energy could be released….because someone was able to see what really happened on that night.  No one else would have been able to really see the events as they took place.  While we had testimony from his friends as part of the historical record, it is interesting how no one seemed to even entertain the idea of foul play at all.  Basically, it came down to four people all saying that their friend drowned. As long as everyone sticks to their story, then no one is the wiser.

And of course, this lead the skeptical to suggest that I saw something that was not there, or that I was making it up or seeing a real event bu interpreting it to fit my own life where I felt as though I had been drowned. And I will concede that this is certainly a real possibility.  What suggests to me that we were seeing real events was because both Alison and I were picking up on all the same information, information that was in line with the story when it came out in the newspapers.

And this is where the second lesson in doing this kind of work comes in.  When we went up to this lake, we were simply going to see the sun setting.  But what unfolded was an event not unlike one that had taken place in my own life. There was something eerily similar to what had happened to me and to our friend who drowned in the lake.  While my life was not taken from me, my experience in my marriage was that I was being held underwater to be drowned before my own children.  It was itself a really painful experience that happened to me, something that people in the psychiatric community call ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome.”  One parent tries to destroy the other parent in the eyes of the children.  When it happens to you, it feels like the life is being sucked out of your body.  it feels like you are drowning.  It was appropriate that I would pick up on this eerie energy that was skulking about in those hills.  It was scary at first….sinister….but as we worked through the memory, I found that I was touching on a whole host of feelings that were in me as well.  By working with one block we were able to clear the other block.

But what took place in the wake of this experience is also very telling.  In the same way that clearing a block in your body leads to a world of new possibilities, the area where this drowning took place also underwent a lot of changes in the years following our event.  Renovations were called for in the main buildings, a new arts initiative was called for with new people with progressive ideas coming onto the scene.  It was as though a new window opened for the people who lived and worked around this location.  To date, a slew of new initiatives have been undertaken on the part of the owners of the property where this lake is.  Its interesting to see how a location can be stuck for years only to see how it becomes unstuck, with a flow of new people, new ideas, and new possibilities entering the scene.  The same happens to you when you release these blocks, too!

Complimentary Blocks And The Law Of Attraction

Until a block is cleared, the block can be the basis of an attraction by others who are either similarly blocked or complimentary blocked.  What this means is that you either have someone who has had the same KIND of experience or someone who compliments the experience as in the case of someone who has a fear of being pushed, say, and you attract a person who seems to like to push you a lot!  THAT would be an example of a complimentary attraction.  A positive complimentary attraction would be somethign similar but in the positive, not negative.  In either case, however, the two people feel the similarities even if they are opposites, and these dynamics open up the flow of energy within us. They fill a role be it positive or negative.  These aspects of the other person can lay dormant for decades before expressing themselves, or they can be playing in the background all the time.  However, when you release this material, you release any possibility for this same kind of blocked material to ever be of any consequence to you in the future.  it is gone like a poof of smoke.  And this is why this kind of work is so important and life changing; you can change your whole life based on one big critical pivotal move in clearing your blocks in your body.  The result is that you NEVER feel energized by behaviors that would have effected you before.  It’s as though your mind has been completely rewired when it comes to whatever hot button issue this block represented to you in the past.  There is a lot to suggest that this event does literally have the power to rewire the brain in seconds flat!  How’s that for a speedy transformation?

It really is that fast and that easy.  When you have enough of these you realize that you can actually become a free person in ways you have never experienced before.

Ways Of Clearing Blocks

The best way to work through blocks is to pay attention to the ones that come up the most for you.  This is one most obvious way.  But these blocks may also be the hardest to clear away.  I am of the observed opinion that clearing smaller blocks is the way to go since it can loosen up material surrounding one block only to result in a kind of energetic avalanche with other blocks going at about the same time.

You can identify blocks in your body by simply observing when you feel a sense of resistance or even pain in your body when you move a certain way.  Your energy body changes frequency from one end of the field to the other.  As a result, different emotions are stored at different places along this “column” in the body.  This is why some issues are stored in the root chakra than in the crown. The root chakra deals with nurture, abundance, and safety of self, for example.  When you feel a sense of resistance or even pain from tightness in a given area, you can gain a good bit of understanding about the block in general by thinking about where that block is located.  If its between two chakras, then it will contain aspects of BOTH chakras in some way.

If you can identify the spot where the hurt or twinge keeps happening, you can point it out to a therapists who can work on that spot for you.  The types of therapists who can do this work will be people who do both energy work and body manipulations such as deep tissue massage.  Acupressure, acupuncture, reiki, and deep tissue are all methods that can help.  In pranayama yoga there is a lot of attention given to moving certain parts of the body, something called “locks” that help to move blocked material.  All of these involve vigorous movement of the part of the body where the chakra is located and, presumably, the blocked material.  Even placing your attention on the spot and holding it there through the day is one way that you can help loosen up a block in your body.  If it gets enough aware energy, it can trigger the release of the block sometimes.

Chakra Clearing VS. Meridian Clearing

This is especially true for the chakras.  When a block is in a meridian line and not in a chakra, it seems to be harder to release it unless you are using acupressure or reiki, systems that actively move energy through the meridians of the energy body.  The chakras, conversely,  have a churning effect on blocks so that if you can use the chakras in meditation to swirl and move around a block, this can be very helpful because unlike clearig one small block in a meridian, a whole cluster of blocks can often be released all at once when its associated to chakra movement.  This is achieved by simply visualizing it and allowing the chakras to open fully and begin their movements, which often feel like you are moving or floating or even flying sometimes.  By placing your intent to clear the blocked material in a given chakra, the energy can begin to melt away the block.

Clearing along a meridian line is more exact and may only clear one block.  It can also lead to other blocks letting go, though, and these blocks can be worked through by acupuncture, acupressure, and deep tissue most often.  The larger blocks can be “swirled” away through vigorous chakra movement and can sweep away lots of blocks at once, leaving a person feeling as though they are a changed person.  Many people who have these types of clearings describe feeling as though their body was being purged by a wave or by a force that sent a whole series of bubbles or shots of energy up along their spine and out their body.  Fundamental to all of this work is intent (willingness) and willingness to surrender at a deep level even into the body.  By reaching this deep state of vulnerability, you will also be reaching a deep state of awareness somatically about your body and your own body of feeling, too. Trust me, when the moment comes, it will be like suddenly seeing things in a very different way, the way perhaps that things really are instead of the way you have chosen to see them through the colorings of the particular block that you have.  Be ready to see things in a very different way, or to feel them very differently.  And remember; this is nothing at all to do with reason.  This is NOT about working through your emotional backlog rationally.  To try to do so is a trap.  Yes, reason can keep you OUT of the thick hot stew of your feelings and can help you to calmly identify what needs to be released.  However, you need to actually jump in the water with no fear or resistance to what you will find since this is a necessary state of mind and heart that you will need in order to clear the block. If you turn away, you are effectively saying to your body that its okay to keep the block in place.

Some blocks go quickly.  Some take months, even years to dissolve.  A good rule of thumb is that if you have a strong investment in a given block, the harder it will be to rid yourself of it.  The more ego focuses on it, the harder it will be for the block to simply dissolve.

Part of prana is the energy body that expresses itself as a vortex, a kind of doughnut-shaped field of energy that is common to most anything that has an electromagnetic field around it.  It is this field that carries your consciousness and also the energy that feeds into your cells. When the energy is blocked, illness and neurosis can result. Life force is literally being squeezed out of you when it should be more abundant.

When you remove these blocks you can realize stronger energy, a more peaceful state of mind and greater bliss that is not at the whim of whatever blocks are turning in you at the time.

Until you are able to release a block, the block itself will be energized by prana in your body and it will remain active.  It can cause any number of problems, all of which will revolve around some kind of meme that is less than who you really are as a divine creature in earthly robes.  These blocks can cause no end of trouble for you.  There is little else work that is as important as this is.

There are numerous ways to clear away blocks in the body.  One method is through energy work like White Crane Chi Gung.  This method of blending movement with energy work will aid in the removal of blocks throughout the body.  In order for it to work, it requires patience and persistence.  By working at it for weeks and months at a time, you can begin to see results.  Deep tissue massage by a practitioner who knows or understands about blocks is helpful.  Also, body movement is key.  The very act of shaking or massaging or moving the part of the body that is blocked can aid in removing material from it.

Until you have cleared one chakra region, you will be dealing with what blocks remain in that region.  You will likely find that less obvious blocks come to the fore in your awareness now after having one bigger more obvious block removed.  Your attention can become much more highly tuned in this way to detect blocks in your system.  As this happens, you can also become much more sensitive to the presence in blocks in yourself and others if you are interested in learning a healing art.  I have dug so deep into myself that I have had some practitioners unable to detect the blocks.  One actually scolded me, saying I should not try to CREATE problems when there were were not problems there.  This practitioner was not able to pick up on this material, and I went on to have a number of clearings surrounding this region, so yes, there was more there, but not all of us will be as good about picking up on it.  While I have done the bulk of the clearing on my own, I have used a variety of methods to assist in clearing my system, and these have all worked well for me when they came along in my awakening journey (almost as if they were perfectly suited for the blocks kundalini was churning away on at the time!).  In many ways, I have been very gifted to have found a certain modality at a given time, as though the timing was perfect.  I was talking with my latest therapist about doing more work in the Fall recently as she expressed some surprise with the level of release I was experiencing with her work. I had to explain that while my being able to release blocks was different from her experience, it wasn’t from my experience.  For many people, it seems they get a deep tissue massage and maybe loosen up some material a bit.  For me, I am headed into the final stage of releasing material, a process that has taken years of steady daily attention and work, and I am having flashes of past lives, of deeply held traumas from my ancient past. It seems the deeper I go into it, the harder it is, the deeper the shadows.

So don’t be afraid of the shadow, I say.  That you get down into such shadows is cause for celebration.  Who on the planet has managed to get this deeply into themselves….to overcome the world?

This is why clearing blocks is so important; it is all about overcoming the world.  Would you like to see with new eyes?  With clear bodies, we can build a clear world.  And that is why I am writing to you today.  Pass it along!

~P.

This Old House

Years ago, right as kundalini rose and my whole life made a 180 degree course correction, I had a life.

In that life I had a home that I bought.  That home was a nice home, but I soon outgrew it, or it outgrew me as my own life morphed and changed.  I am now in the midst of doing work to bring my old home to a state of readiness for sale.  And for the life of me, I cannot disengage the house renovations for my own inner renovations.

I can’t because all of the objects we find in our lives are delicately intertwined, the outer with the inner and visa versa.  To show you what I mean, when I went to close on this house I discovered that the owners were selling the home to settle a divorce.  I would divorce a year and a half later.  I would discover things about the house that showed a number of very odd correlations with events in my own life there and with my family.  Coincidence, or events that have a way of coinciding within our own in such a way that like attracts like?

I am aware that how I am blocked may be how my house is blocked. Physical objects are subject to the same “rules” governing energy as people are.  Energy forms matter, and all things are energy.  Why should we think that sentient beings and objects made out of matter are really all that much different?  The aren’t.  Locations can be just as stuck as people are, and can be just as haunted as people as well. I have had many very pointed experiences in this area that shows that you can actually free a locations of its “glitches” or snags.  One powerful way of doing this is changing yourself.  Because this is a dynamic process, what you do on the outside can change what is on the inside sometimes. If I make a change in me, the vibration that is taking place or that is attached to my home is freed to change as well. So with that in mind, I have turned the renovation of my home, which amounts to a lot of fixing and painting, into a meditation on my own insides.  I can say that so far it has helped a lot with blocks of energy and continues to help.  This is one example for how work of this kind can be an active form of meditation.

No Whitewash

  

I didn’t want to simply slap paint onto the surface of my home.  Paint had accumulated over many decades.  My home is almost 80 years old and it looks like it has not had any paint stripped from it at all.  I took torch and scraper to the paint and began the laborious process of removing all paint from surface to deep core.  As I did this, I could feel how all the memory locked into the surface of the paint just peeled away and became like a crispy crust that I tossed into the trash.  Likewise, I could feel how allowing myself to be scraped deep, to open myself to such radical clearing was one important way to clearing away material that was keeping me blocked in my life.  Lot of it, I wasn’t even aware of.  But that is how some of these blocks are.  You almost rely on a kind of “further knowing” a knowing that feels like its beyond you, to know what you can’t possibly know.  And yet you do.

Things looked like hell for a while.  But isn’t that how it is?  Once you get honest with yourself, you can disrobe and let all of the surface details go to get down to the real you.  Thing was, this old house has such nice bones.  Surely, this bodes well for each of us.  But we often pretend to be something we aren’t, or aren’t even AWARE enough that we are something more than what we are.  One thing is for sure, we sure can be pretty unaware of our broader potential sometimes.

As work progressed, more and more paint was removed. Trees were taken down and turned into mulch.  Gutters were fixed and small trees dug up and bushes trimmed.  It was a hair cut that was some five years in the making.  The old lady was going to look a lot better once I was able to get some good paint on her.

I can’t cut corners when I do a job like this.  I just can’t.  I can’t bring myself to buy the paint that one worker bought who was doing some painting on an other part of the house.  I directed him to a gallon of paint I had bought that was easily double the price of the paint he had with him. The thing is, when you look at the two paints on different parts of the house, you can tell a difference.  Cheap paint just lacks the body and the luxurious look that a paint that is more expensive will have.  This old lady needed to be dressed up nice so that she glowed.  I wanted to give this house some love because we all deserve this. The love outwardly became the love inwardly…

And things began to shape up.

Month by month this work dragged on.  I probably missed the window for the most active time for buying homes but I don’t care.  I want to do this job right, you know?  I will only sell this house once and its a doozie of a home.  I wont see her likes again in a good long while.

New gardens put in help to shape the front and helps add a splash of color.  Sitting at the top of a hill, the roofline of this dutch colonial is perched perfectly to look out across town.  Private, but in the middle of everything, just as I like it so often, the house is situated nicely amongst the homes in the neighborhood.

As I work, I think about my own body.  I think about driving up old splinters and hurts and forgotten sorrows and joys so as to liberate them so that they no longer turn like a stone that refuses to return to dirt but instead tumbles and rattles in our insides for so long a time we forget it is even a rock doing that…..an old rock of an old feeling we just have not had the courage or willingness to let go.  Maybe its a feeling that will make us all think we are just crazy….a feeling that we know that if we let go, we will never feel again.  No matter how incredibly broken it may seem to admit that, we humans love the devil we know rather than the angel that we don’t.

We can though look at a house and see how its not so different from us in some ways.  We can dig up the old bones and let them see the light and realize that now no more secrets need to be kept.  We can enter into the glory of a new life.  Doing this is a moment of pure honesty….a moment that most of us seem more afraid of than a hundred monsters in our closets.  But looking honestly at everything is a brilliant maker of lives because it helps us to build on a foundation built right rather than one that was poorly set to begin with.

She is looking good and I have high hopes for using this sale as the catalyst for big changes in my own life.

I’ll keep you updated.

Beyond Surviving

It is so easy to wrap an awakening in myths and ideas about what we think it is.  There is a lot written about it from other times, cultures, mind sets.  All of it has a lot of good stuff.  Inevitably, though, even the awakened come up against the limits of what we ourselves can allow ourselves to know or consider.  It is a cognitive box. Breaking out of it is what this energy, this shift, can offer.  All of us.

In my awakening, soul connections have been part of the process.  I have karma to work through and this is the time that it seems it is going to get done.  The problem though is that in the community that speaks the most to these connections as twin flames and twin souls, there is a lot of disinformation.  I call it this because I don’t know what else to call it.  It is itself a cognitive box.  Lacking any better explanation, we come up with something that matches what it feels like.  Connecting in this way is pure bliss.  Yes.  But assuming it is because it is meeting the other half of you is a mistake.  What this idea does is it masks, I feel, what is actually at work.  Walk with me for a minute.

So if you have had this, you know how events have such a wild way of happening?  Where do you think those events emerge from?  Are they coming from God?  Or is it possible that they are coming from you?  I have had so many of these events happen to me, literally hundreds big and small that what I have been able to observe that when the energy, the bliss of this experience was at its peak, these synchronicities tended to happen in profusion.  Each and every time, this happened.  There is a correlation with the energy and my thoughts.  I do feel that what is happening is that we are dropping into a flow of energy, creative energy that is our birthright.  This bliss IS this creative energy.  We say it is libidinous, which is a fancy way of saying it feels sexual.  It does.  But it is more than just that.  It is sensual, lovely, freeing, and it is the very thing that melts us, that breaks up our inner blocks.  It frees us.  And isn’t this the essence of creativity?  Creativity almost always makes us see things differently.  Think about it.  Almost all new ideas shift how we see things.  It is not JUST what people are doing, it is the energy fueling it.  A product results….maybe some new discovery, some new form, some new piece of art, music, or institution.  Creativity is in every corner of our lives.  So this energy, expressed as bliss, which I say I experience as creative in its root, is literally making events all around me come alive.  But wait….if this is not being divinely guided, but is just my own ability to manifest supercharged, then it means that instead of it having some grand design, it could simply be what I feel in my heart as a possibility to happen, and carried by the energy, it does?  From thinking about something only to see a bumper sticker a second later that echoes it, ir I bump into someone who tells me about a story that helps to put me on the track of some new wrinkle in my work that I have been thinking about that day?  Over and over and over, these events all happen.  Some would say they are “fated” but they all cohere to my own thoughts.  If there is nothing blocking that block in me, the event happens. Simple.  So maybe this is just our normal ability to manifest now super-charged.

And yes, you feel bliss with this Other, whom you call twin.  But have you ever looked into it to know why?  All of the universe, we are told, is about like attracting like.  When we attract along a certain vibration, those vibrations naturally reinforce each other.  And the flow of soul energy is increased.  Bliss results.  Over and over I have seen this in my life and I have seen it in others, too.  We are now awake, yes, the flow is now instigated.  We are forever changed.  Forever.  Get around more like-minded kind and the vibration naturally reinforces itself.  It is I think an important consideration.  What happens if there is something in that vibration that is karmic from the past.  It could generate really powerful fear too.  DO you think that this could be the concept behind the “runner” experience?  Honestly, I think so.  We feel this bliss, but we then also feel this fear….and this fear?  It is the karma we share and the bulk effect of what this karma has meant to use on a soul level.  And what is this karma except a turning away from all that is true in us?  Bear in mind, I am only talking about the negative karma.  Yes, there is also positive karma.  Yes!  Thank goodness!  But the positive karma does not trip us up.  In fact, it holds us up.  But the negative stuff can cause us to nose-dive, am I right? So until that karmic knot is resolve there will be challenges!  So we deal with them.  The knot is there in you and me because we have set it aside and not dealt with it.  We pushed it down.  What we ignore is what persists.  And sometimes, the knot is nothing more than a strong emotion that we did not feel or embrace completely.  We instead denied it and there it has lain since the beginning.  But when you release such a block…..WHOOOSH!  Boom.  Done.  Gone. And for me, when it is gone, it is GONE!  Whatever hung me up is just…..no longer an issue.  And it doesn’t make a lot of sense!  You would think that what we think and feel is so easy to access, sift and work through….but alas, our bodies show every sign of STORING this stuff in our bodies.  Yes, in the body, right along with the current of prana that makes up the sheaves or layers the Hindu call the koshas.  This is what makes us like a multilayered being and the clearing that happens in awakening sweeps through each of these vibrational layers so that there are up to, they say, five cleansings or total clearings of each chakra before the process is largely completed, removing all of this stored pent-up material.  But until these knots that tie to negative karma are resolved, they too draw us, attract us without being aware of what it is for the simple reason that this material is not always conscious.  It has been stuffed down, after all, right?  SO that gets hard to deal with, right?  Submerged feeling.  It means we have to learn how to feel DEEP and honestly.  And bravely.  For me, it is undoing all of this bent and twisted energy so that I can feel the free flow of the divine within me.  Unhindered, all of the things that caused the flow of energy to become turbulent…..just like how obstructions in a water hose will make the water flowing out of it spray and gush and behave erratically.  Energetically, these thoughts/feelings impede the flow of energy.  This is pretty huge, too.  Thought controls energy?  Well what do you think we could learn from that?  Could it lead us to a way of being where we could learn how to free ourselves from all sorts of limiting factors?  I recently watched a video of a man who had spent years learning how to clear himself and to use his energy for healing.  He demonstrated how he could shock people by touching them (no, not static, silly!) and inducing paper to burn using hot chi, something that I experienced in my body at one point that alarmed me but also served to heal and balance my energy.  And could it be just as simple as that?  Could it be as simple as clearing the pathway so that both the yin and yang channels, the positive and negative poles of our life force energy can better flow and merge?

So think about what it is that is drawing you and then think about how you feel when you feel scared to death when the draw brings you to that place.  What is that feeling you are seeking to turn away from?  What is it that your insides are trying to tell you?  It is creating a draw, yes, but look at what else it is doing!  It is serving to bring you to a place of honesty within.  Real deep kind of honesty.  And it can be messy.  Don’t be afraid.  We all shun these feelings because we think its not good of us.  I have spent years holding back some of this and I have during the last six months begun to really dig into it deeper and deeper.  Each time, though, the result has been the same; I release some deep hard knot in my being and the energy flows more gently.  I feel more peace.  And I am free from this feeling of impending doom or fill in the blank. We are, though, admittedly, perhaps unknowingly, addicted to our hard feelings.  It is the devil that we know.  It is time to let the tiger out of the cage!  Dive into that hardness and let this eenrgy flow into it and change it.  Just by LOOKING at it, it can change your life.  No, I offer you no methods because the “method” is the one that always brings you to the point of honesty and clarity.  I know that each time that I do everything I can to put my awareness on that shadow spot, I can feel how the light of my awareness and the divine energy that flows through the eyes of my own inner awareness that it is knowingly or unknowingly breaking those blocks apart, scattering the shadow and allowing it to transform, lift away, to go away for good.  And this?  It is not a rational process.  It requires you to just FEEL your energy.  FEEL it.

Wherever you feel a sense of tightness, there is something there.  Don’t try to wrestle with it.  Sit with it, FEEL it quietly.  Something inside of you KNOWS.  But this is why we meditate.  We do this in order to tune into the inner world of our energy.  This energy is also what is connecting us to the rest of the world. It can be beautiful once we have cleaned up the mess inside.  Instead of being pulled in different directions, we just feel acceptance, joy, bliss. And while I continue on this path, not pretending to be “done” with all my stuff, I have seven years or so of hard “work” of learning to let go, to surrender in ever deeper ways within myself.  As I do, I feel deeper into my resource field that makes it possible for me to move on to the next even harder spot.

It seems, for me, I have saved the hardest knots for last.  But you know what?  I am now very confident in my ability to just go ahead and face what I have seemingly denied for lifetimes.  letting go of this will free all my other selves, even those in the past, to know alternative pasts to follow.  I will indirectly be showing them the way.  It is such a personal and sometimes messy process, but we should never shrink back because of that.  So if using a technique works for you, use it.  ALL methods serve to help us FEEL a certain way.  Will it work for you?  Perhaps.  For me, I like a method-less approach because it leaves me with nothing between me and the thing I am facing.  A method is like a boat to get you there, but you have to abandon the boat once you get there.  This process demand absolute perfect and simple facing of whatever has not been faced.

Recently I faced a decision I had to make.  I thought about it and it unnerved me because my inner voice was telling me that I had to start doing the opposite of what I had been feeling I had to do.  So, despite all reason, I considered that there was a path to this that I had not considered, or that had been veiled.  I then did something I have not done in a long time; I picked up the I-Ching and threw coins asking my question about how I was to move forward.  What did I need to know about this?  What came up made me laugh.  It was “Abundance.”  You see, one of my biggest issues that crops up has to do with my relationship with women….and in this life it began with my mother.  I know that it has cropped up in other lives.  This has, at its root, something to do with the feminine force in things.  And abundance is deeply tied to the feminine.  It is the feminine that grows the new things within her.  There is an inception force, the masculine, which is necessary in all of this, but it is from this inception that grows miracles.  What comes from the feminine is larger than the sum of its parts.  This happens in physical life as well as in our spiritual life, too.  My journey has been in correcting my own inner glitch in how I am in relation to the feminine.  Something about my experience has put the breaks on my own ability to face my own ability to attract abundance into my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I have done well attracting it, but it is often full of hitches, what-if’s and a lot of turbulence.  There is a problem there.  The fear I have has manifested itself in abandonment in my early life, and this set the stage for always keeping people at a distance.  This emotional armoring has been falling away piece by piece over this entire process.  Layer by layer.  So to have abundance come up was very interesting.  To get to the bottom of it, I had to go forward, embrace whatever it was that was causing me trouble instead of resisting it and hoping it would just heal or go away.  Sure, given enough time, that old wound might scab over and fall away of its own accord.  Early in my awakening I had material like this that fell away in just this way; it was all very old material that had stuck itself to me even though it was no longer a part of my experience.  It was released when the being, an angel, who reached into my heart and pulled it out.  It was like a boneless dead body.  Gross!  I had been carrying that around all this time.  But what took its place was…..nothing.  It was a glorious emptiness that was now ready to be filled by this new energy filling my life. So just looking into it has shifted so much.  Where does it lead? I have no clue.  But you know, I know that the intelligence behind this energy, which is also the universe, I have no problem with.  I am connected to it…a cell within its body.  I trust this. It is not exactly God.  It is something larger than my own awareness….an awareness of what is.  If only it was so pat as a deity!

Then, a couple of days later I got a message from someone in my field of work who wanted to see if we could see if we could work out a working relationship that was beneficial to both of us. This had been something that felt being kept at bay.  I had been asking my inner self to show me the way with a larger community and perhaps a partner that could take my work to a whole other level.  I kept this neutral, not wishing to push it one way, I just asked that it be in the highest.  And then I got another call that had the power to move my work into another new direction.  Coincidences like these cluster around these kinds of shifts.  I once shifted some material and someone who had made a 100k offer on a building that was worth way more than that doubled their offer the very next day.  It had been six months since the last offer, and boom, out of the blue.  These have been so closely timed with these kinds of shifts that I have seen them as having a causal connection.  It is simply too coincidental.  These have always followed these releases.  Its as though events simply change or turn into something else, taking on an entirely different cast.  I have a number of cases like this where I literally bumped into someone who I didn’t know from Adam who was interested in something that I was trying to sell or move, and how it all happened was entirely “accidental.”  When you remove what divides you, the path opens up.  Mountain move. It is a potentiating of the waveform within the universe and within ourselves. I do think so.  When I can allow that wave to continue, interesting things happen, always.  Living on top of that wave is where things just happen like….magic.  Almost all of these things that happen are not the result of me doing anything….they just happen.  And this is so often how these things happen.  Events can begin to flow effortlessly, but it is we who need to do the clearing so the intention made has the ability to flow from us to the universe which will react, respond to that vibration.  The more open-ended you make the intention, the more freedom the universe has to bring you what is perfect.  That or its your higher self, which is what I am betting on.  We can go beyond just surviving.  We can thrive.  Instead of the law of the jungle, it can be the law of heaven.  Let’s give it a chance!

Until

I sit and speak with the light.   It is opening up to this great love that lives inside of me.  It has been the one thing that has driven me forward in my process of healing the barrage of blocks, the breaking of old patterns, the dissolving of karma. It is at once the force of awakening as well as my own love.  it is interesting and lovely how my purpose can be a part of it, to learn from it, to heal with it.   It is nestled into each of us….a part of us. It can BE us and we can BE it.  It can also come, probably like Moses saw it, as a burning bush.  Part of it, I know, are aspects of my higher self.  But I also know that in all of that, this extension of consciousness, that I am reaching something more….something else.  It is the thing that granted me my individuality.  it is funny because if I told you how I experience it, I don’t think you would believe me.  It lies utterly silent, but aware within the core of everything.  I can feel what it feels as the interior of all things and I can also see it on the FACE of everything through the sentient universe.  But to get there I find that I have to use my imagination.  I think that most people think that when they are using their imagination that what they come up with is a fabrication….a creation….itself only real for the creator. What I have found is that what we call the imagination is like a path that we only go down but so deep with.  It goes deeper, though, and will birth phenomenon while the higher self becomes engaged.  It becomes like a way for information to be projected from the so-called higher self to the so-called lower self and also as a way to create, to birth what has been waiting in the wings.

All of this is what interest me, teaching me about the nature of creativity, the dance of opposites, tantra as a creative and healing art, and the nature of time, as well as our relationship to higher order consciousness.  reaching the zero point, what the zen monks call “zero” is also a big part of all of this.  In fact, you  could say it underpins all of this.  It is what I write about over and over and over…..which is a return tot his zero, something that I have engaged passionately in since awakening took place.  In fact, it is this one thing that has been the core of my work all this time.

If you had something in your brain that made you think you saw enemies when they were actually your friends, would you be concerned and go to the doctor to see if there was a way to fix it? That sounds pretty troublesome, right?  Well, in fact, we are all afflicted with this tendency. We see others as for or against us in ways that wind up being off the mark.  I have had this happen in my life several times since the rising of kundalini.  Some had been in place years before.  I have been able to observe in others as well as myself how these lenses blind us completely or partially.  In either case, the result is chaos and pain.  Who needs that, right?  What is it that has made us so messed up that we would cleave to that even as something inside of us says “boy this sure is crazy.”  As if we are possessed.  Except, there we are, making the choice ourselves.  Why?  When you turn from something as perfect as this love that the divine is, it can make a person mad.  Plus we are a kind of crazy crowd, us humans.  Crazy and beautiful all at once. What a trip, right?

Until we heal these rifts in us, we will think we see outside of us what is actually inside of us.  We will see as one person saw, nothing but enemies.  Another person saw reasons to be fearful.  I saw threats to my ability to love and I responded over and over and over by pulling away.  Suspended, not fully present, I learned to protect my own soul castle by not fully engaging.  This sense of being “out there” was certainly part of who I am.  I am so Pisces (believe it…I said it…), but this lovely ability to flow in the etheric realm has also meant that I have a means to escape. I have sought to do so in healthy pursuits for the most part, but I can admit that it meant in some cases that I would pull back from the stings and arrows others have shot my way in the hopes that I might never feel the sting of such hurt again.  Sometimes I think that I am to learn to take every single arrow with bravery and realize not a one can hurt me.  None.  So shoot me.  Kill me.  Hang me.  It has been done a thousand times anyway on this planet, so why am I so concerned about someone who is just being a little human?  THAT becomes the corpus of my own “stuff” which I must heal.  Until then, being able to see into the divine realm will be limited.  I might be able to lay down at night or in quiet moments, yes, but I wont be able to feel it in the moment when someone is cutting me off in traffic or someone is yelling at me because, well, they are in some way hurting.  Until we can be unmoved by the suffering as others as THEIRS we continually seek to grab onto others’ stories to somehow make them our own through a host of suppositions based less on what is true as it is how we are deep down.

The writer Anais Nin said that we see the world as we are, not as it is.  And it is so true.  But we CAN see the world AS IT IS by removing these lenses, these old beliefs, what the easterners call illusions, but what I like to call creations (we created them, we can create something different and new).  As I am able to remove this material, it has resulted in being able to see more clearly.  Truly.

For me, the way this has all gone is most of my issues lies in my ability to create.  As a result, a LOT of material that has been stuck has been stuck in a place between root and sacral.  It literally feels in my body as a sore womb is slowly being chipped away at and released from its prison.  It means also that my masculine character goes through changes as this happens as the feminine character in my awareness also goes through some changes.  How I feel, how I respond, all change incrementally as incremental things are healed.

Right now the project feels more like dredging an ancient canal.  the methods I have used to release this material have been wide ranging.  I write about them in my book which I am hoping to submit for publishing in the next year.  The “methods” if you want to call them that, include a broad range that turn out being the same things that the ancients have used for centuries, but it also includes some new ones. Until this is done the energy field of a person remains susceptible to the very forces that mirror the junk that has yet to be removed.  It is not uncommon, then, for most people to have energetic entities attached to them in one way or another.  These range from small inconsequential to much more human like and very likely form the stories of vampires and succubi/incubi.  Early in my awakening I dealt with removing these beings, but no more.  My work deals with getting myself right first.  Everyone actually has the means to rid themselves of these forces when they are ready.  And not everyone is ready.  Following ones readiness is also a great way to bring healing in a more perfect way.  In this way, we can be the doctors to our souls. We really do know best deeper down.  It might not seem that way sometimes, but there is intelligence that we are each a part of that is way beyond anything you could imagine or believe.  But it is the core of what each of us is.  Beyond time.  Beyond belief.  🙂

This isn’t about changing how you think or changing your habits.  Yes, you can bring change into your life this way, but what I am pointing to is an alchemy of the soul that results in instantaneous change.  It is a way where we can actually throw off massive amounts of junk in a relatively short period of time.  It is what modern psychotherapy has largely missed (with the exception of a few notable examples).   By doing this we can each reach this seemingly elusive “zero” point that so many seek, including me.

This is not about being cool and hip, doing yoga and all the newest methods.  It isn’t even about having a fit body or a nice house or anything else.  You can build your life with all of these things around you, but until you fix what is at the core of you that is off, the rest will always be problematic in one way or another.  The great job will bring you angst….the fancy car will be in the shop more often than it needs to be.  Something you thought was awesome winds up being riddled with problems.   That lovely house wont make you happy because you are not happy.  In seeking happiness in things, we each have forgotten the core of what happiness is about. It is not in another person, or in a different life.  It exists right here with you and it is waiting for you to LIVE it.  Like me, it is waiting for me.  I am seeking to grab hold of it as I can, as I can manifest it.  This is the love that waits for you, me, and everyone else.  It is waiting for each of us to learn of its existence.  Until we can feel this love in our own selves, we will each be a near-miss in our lives.  It is a self love that we allow ourselves.  When we ALLOW it for ourselves, we can allow it IN our lives with others.  Its really pretty cool and awesome.  So let’s get to it, shall we?

What is waiting for you?  Here’s hoping that you find your bliss and the greatest love there is!

The Gift or The Curse?

In experiences of nonduality nothing is just one thing or another.  With everything connected, increasingly, there is less and less and less that we see or feel that is seen from a biased state of mind.  As the walls or barriers within ones own self fall, the truth of things begins to emerge.  The truth is there are many facets to any given thing.  There are facets we give to events and people and things and then there are those things that are simply there, despite our need to project upon them or see what we are in them.  Everything that Is has its shades of dark and light.

Learning to see what is, is a big part of my journey- and the journey of many others in disentangling what we create from what exists…prexistant of our own projections, beliefs, expectations, and hopes.  It is a way to see clearly, to know “what is.”  When we operate from a place of wanting to know what is, we tend to be increasingly inoculated against the tendency to build into each moment, each event, each meeting, expectations that are based on our own inner hopes….which are themselves based most often on what the accumulated presence of karma does to a person’s thinking and acting.  Truth is, we have all of these programs running in us that rule us.  Until we can remove that stuff, we are mastered.  And there are layers to this material.

When we say we are like onions, we are….layer by layer we are undone just as we made ourselves through years of shoving junk down into those layers.  This is what constitutes the bulk of these blocks and conditioning….but it also means that programming exists at deeper levels, yet, in perfect onion-layer form.  Removing it all is a humbling experience.  it is also something I sense is the most beautiful thing.  We are changing the story as we go.  Sound impossible?  It means facing all of your own silliness, rudeness, reactivity, anger, fear, jealousy, and sense of lack. You name it, it comes up, and gets to be cleared. And this, the cleansing of the self, is so important. It is our saving grace.  It is the single most important part of my awakening.  It continues to offer me the opportunity to undo lifetimes of junk.  And the result is that it will change those lifetimes as much as it will change THIS life.  Its beautiful and huge.  It will send ripples throughout the multiverse.  There is a lot on offer here. And yet, for as huge as this all is, we can, in our all-too-human frames become undone by what remains.

When I awoke, I found that this energy began taking me apart right away.  Blocks began falling away within the first week. After two weeks of having felt the “rising” of this energy in me, effectively lighting me on fire, my juiced system began to respond by churning and teasing out these small blocks of knotted emotion from my awareness, from my body.

Part of this dynamic was being aware of another person whom I had never met in this life, someone who lived about 1,500 miles away. A whole other country in fact.  As time rolled on I learned that I was feeling what this other person was feeling as though it was a direct link. I was incredulous at first but as the incidents piled up day after day I realized I shared a connection to this person that was from the inside out.

There was a lot that was said about these connections.  Awakenings like mine were often being accompanied by these connections.  It was a way of shifting your way of seeing the world in a pretty dramatic way.

As I went from this being the will of the universe to something that my own soul was embarking on, I began to bid this energy to do its work.  I sensed that the stronger the energy was, the more work it would do.  Part of me was apprehensive of this energy.  A part of me was afraid that “me” would be swept away.  There was a calm sense of impartiality, almost coolness to the intelligence that lived within this energy, that lives in all energy.  My own awareness sought to commune with it, to learn why it was here, to learn anything I could.  This probing would begin to form the first of what I would come to call my “epiphany talks” which was where in a deep state of meditation, I would let this energy do its work, and as a plus, I could ask it questions.  For me, understanding the very core of what Is was what I was interested in.  I felt that in knowing this I could begin to unravel my own mysteries, to become, to transform.

This journey resulted in my becoming aware of multiple connections.  They just happened.  I didn’t know why, but they did.  Over time, these connections would be a source of shame and guilt for me.  I would also set these connections aside in an effort to overcome whatever it was that had fueled these connections.

As time passed and I continued to let this energy do its work, I went from surface blockages to removing deeper, more substantive ones.  Each time as this happened, the energy which I had been communing with came through clearer and clearer.  But as long as I remained even slightly uncleared of blocks, I was like  visitor to this land of the divine.I could tune it in anytime I was ready to.  It was mine.  It was me and I was it, and yet, I had this baggage that my personality had to learn to let go of.  I knew there was probably a way to just let it all fall away at once. Theoretically possible, yes, but likely?  Nope.

But the journey along the way helped me to understand energy more and more…..in the way I was most gifted.  It seems that we meet this conscious energy where we are at the time.  As the dross clears, the energy also becomes more clear.  The intelligence within the energy resolves too.  The personality also goes through changes.  For me, the hardest and most difficult was my own Dark Night of the Soul.  This was itself a period of time when the gateway of energy opened up within me to the degree that I would feel clobbered by the energy.  I often would have to lie down, unable to know how to deal with this crush of energy.  This period would result in dislodging my ego from its front and center location in my psyche.  What resulted was that a higher-vibrational version of the ego was within view, a way to still know myself as me, but with fewer snags.  The idea that ego dies, is itself silly, yet people still use the term “ego death” which stirs fear and anxiety in anyone who is going through awakening.  This part, is, in fact, a saving grace, a blessing, since it allows the self to not identify so powerfully with so many things that can serve to hang it up.  Ego itself does not die, it is more…..mobile. Instead of ego being the latch on your toolbox of gifts, it becomes one tool IN the toolbox. The result? You become more of the master and less the slave.  But here is the thing….the deeper issues, the ones that are most ingrained….they tend to appeal most directly to ones identity and sense of self, and as a result can be the last things to go in this cleansing that is awakening.  The Dark Night itself comes of its own accord when one is ready.  There is no formula to this, or for this.

For me, the hardest was saved for last.  And that is where I am. It seems that this is being taken apart bit by bit.  The advantage to getting down into the dirt, into this root junk, is that with each release, no matter how small, it changes the balance of power, or energy, in the body.  What affected me before no longer does.  And all along, I was very good at being able to manifest what I needed.  I had been using this method I developed that worked for me.  I simply asked for the big things, the important things.  They all came to pass in time.  What I could not change was the karmic field that existed within each of the manifested events that brought me what I needed, all in divine timing.  But it is now a matter of no longer wanting to manifest the abundance I need in my life in order to do what I am here to do.  It is now a refining process that now frees me from the entangling alliances that were part of the past but that my soul now feels is no longer necessary for what lies ahead in the future of time.

I ask myself what these connections were for….I ask them what they think now after all this time.  What was at the very base of all of this?  What holds us back?  What has limited us?  What has kept us from something that was less than an easy form of love in ourselves? And not all of them are able to know the answer.  It is, in a very real way, an answer that they must find for themselves.  Understanding one’s mirrors are an important step in doing the inner work necessary to stop attracting the same thing as in the past.

These were all people who obviously felt as though something had been left unfinished.  An expectation was not met the way the individual felt like it needed to be.  This is where what Buddha had to say about the suffering of the world comes into play.  Remember what he said?  When we build expectations that are not based on what Is and are instead something from our own inner dialog, our own karmic leanings.  Having begun to dig deeper into the root, I have found that as I do, I am less reactive and am simply wanting to know what is it that remains? How do I honor and heal what remains in me and does understanding what lies in the other serve as a reflection for me?  It does.  But it requires a willingness or ability to see things impartially.  As you might guess, karma is not about being impartial.  It is about feeling something that is less than our divinely inspired selves.

So what was shame and guilt has resolved into an awareness that I am here to resolve some old accounts, to clean it up, to open the way for a new Way to be to flow through me.  Like a creek that has been dammed up, the walls are falling away, and while most of them feel as though they are down, there is this part at its base that is now being excavated.  This, the root, is the darkest, the most difficult, I suspect because it goes to the very source-point of our survival, our nurture and our ability to create at the most fundamental levels.  ANY kind of creation….from procreation through the body to art or the use of our creative energy for a whole host of things. What I know from my talks with this light inside of me is that when I remove the troublesome junk in the root, I wont have any concern as my ability to co-create will not be muddled by action (karma) from a past life, or from some earlier part of my life here.  How do we build the temple when the stones were lain from poor stock to begin with?

So this is the journeywork.  This was what the Dark Night did; it scattered the stones of my being.  Some remained….it seems that if we are not ready to allow ourselves to be scattered and remade, we wont.  Not even kundalini will be able to take care of it.  Perhaps with enough time….perhaps then.  But for me, I sense that time is of the essence.  Time for all of us here….time for me….time for my children, time for those I love.  Time to enjoy the fruit of my labor, to settle into this way of being for the next time I am scheduled to re-emerge.

So what is holding you back?  you might feel as though you wrestle with yourself sometimes, resulting in knee jerk reactions.  If so, I can tell you categorically, that is the karma speaking.  And as long as that is the case, you will respond the same over and over and over.  Yes, you might be able to put a good face on it, yes, you might learn to CONTROL it.  Yes to all of that.  But we have spent lifetimes doing this.  It is as though we have worn these masks which have hidden all of our own fears about who and what we are…..and those things were themselves the lies we tell ourselves….why?  Fear.  We are afraid we are terrible somewhere deep down…..so we ignore that dark spot and go on about life.  Sometimes for lifetimes.  Eventually, the karma comes calling and the soul no longer wishes to deal with it like this anymore.  We grow up.  Slowly, perhaps, over many lifetimes, this maturation takes place.  And perhaps there is something in us that needs to know this shadow part of ourselves.  Maybe.  But then, in doing so, embody it, which effectively removes it as something you are pitted against, or fighting with, or having a knee jerk reaction to.  Whatever it is for you.  For me….there were strains of victimhood in there.  I was not ready to take responsibility for the fact that my own light body, how it is composed, is what is creating ALL of this.  There is nothing that does not happen that I myself do not attract.  And what happens when that image is one I don’t like?  Well, its in me to heal!  ME. Until I do, I am mastered by whatever it is I see in the world around me. Sometimes, it is with disastrous results.  And the deeper we go into the chakra system, the harder it seems to be.  Digging in this deep pit is now the work that I feel so ready to do.  My focus on this center is constant.  Every moment of the day I breath into it, I place my awareness, the light that is in me that is also the universe.  What a way to shine the light on things!  But it WORKS.  In fact, the easier I allow it to be, the easier it is. As I have said in past posts, sometimes a glance is all it takes.  After turning this old soil with my awareness, it eventually soften enough to fall away.  There is little else as important as this.

The result?  In important areas of my life, I am finding myself becoming less stuck.  Things that I knew I needed to do but had been stuck by the economy or by a hundred different reasons, has now suddenly freed itself up.  The way forward has clarified.  As soon as I was able to see it, those in my life responded with excitement because this shift would offer them opportunities that we have not yet had together. These were opportunities their own souls have been waiting for.  It is an important step, one that charges my creative energy with the push to get this next step done in divine timing.  Divine timing?  Yes.  this is when the impossible becomes possible.  This is when all you have to do is put the intention there and the world conspires to assist.  Some of it is not because of anything that you yourself have done.  This is the foundation for the synchronicity….those inexplicable events that happen with uncanny timing.  So why something is in your life is the result of something within you…..for good or ill.  When you can come to terms with any given block, you can free yourself to be able to choose how you react and respond.  You free yourself from a kind of slavery.  The idea that we have been the ones to have enslaved ourselves seem repugnant to us…..and is the very reason why it continues. When we take responsibility for our stuff, for our lives and choices, we are that much closer to owning all of it instead of being the ones who are owned.

The reason, I know, that this work is important is that as each of us are able to break these chains within us, it makes it easier for others to do so also.  If you haven’t noticed, the world is rapidly moving towards an effort to use technology to control in a whole new way.  It is time to so fill this world with the hunger for true freedom that the idea that we would seek to control the world just because of greed or fear or anything less than our highest will seem….so unnecessary.  Why would we want to do that?  To change the world, we have to change ourselves. From one backyard to another.

So in awakening, in the beginning, there is so much in you that is magnetizing so much….from feelings to events.  You are in a pit and you don’t even know it.  But what you DO know is that you want things to change.  Sometimes it feels like a gift, sometimes a curse.  But that is as it should be; to be able to see both sides is so important….and once we do….integrate it all into our being so that it can be free to transform.  The path to change is in forgiving ourselves.  This, it turns out, is the hardest thing for us to do….but it leads to the greatest love there is.

Reiki – Followup

I was told that I might experience a kind of “healing crisis” after releasing such deep stuff as I did in my Reiki session this past Wednesday (and which I wrote about last post).

The material that I moved was some pretty old stuff that went back to my first year of life.  My father was diagnosed as having cancer soon after I was conceived.  I grew up not knowing my Father because he was gone when I was 16 months old.  I always felt like I was a giant sponge energetically and emotionally. I had no way to deal with all of these very hard emotions.  I grew up angry and distant from my mother who I felt had abandoned me emotionally.  In a sense she did, yes, but it was because she herself was suffering knowing my father was dying.  And he did die.  And she was worried what she would do with four children.  It was 1967 and a woman, unless she was independently wealthy or owned her own business, was most often dependent on a man to provide.  That was the soup I grew up in in the womb and that I came into on the day of my birth.  My mother tells of how she and my father shared smiles and tears on the day of my birth.  My great grandmother upon seeing me said “I wonder if the poor fellow knows what he is in for…..”

Now I am not pulling out the violins.  In fact, we all have our own past hurts that grab hold of us.  We all do.  By telling you this, though, I am actually saying that if I can move such stubborn dug in material, so can you.  I have been through an awakening of kundalini, life force which is so abundant that its very force helps to remove these blocks.  But even kundalini has not move this one big bundle of blocks from those early years and which have settled into my root, sacral and partly in my solar plexus region.  Here are the more emotionaly guided centers of energy. This is where our sense of survival spring, our sexuality, our inner beauty and our will. All of this is important for healthy self image and for attracting all the right things into ones own life. When life force increases in your life and you remove blocks, what you put into this strong life force comes out as a very fast turn-around cycle for manifestation.  What poeple are talking about as the 11:11 signs and “syncs” are actually a poorly understood phenomenon that will show you, when you understand it, how you and the universe are linked in a co-creative relationship!  This is part of what my new book Waking The Infinite is about.  I am looking forward to getting this book finished and on the market!

The reiki session resulted in my being able to realize what it was I had shoved down so long ago.  It put me into direct contact with those old feelings and it helped me to understand a little better the mystery of that time which has been shrouded in a fog behind memory.  One thing I can tell you is that reiki has had similar effects as acupuncture and some body work.  I have also experienced the same effects with Qi Gung (also spelled Gong).  All of this is part of a continuum of energy work with slightly different means to the same end.  Whatever works, I say. Cranial-Sacral therapy is also another very profound method for reaching deep states of release and surrender and thus healing.  By letting go of a lot of material you can come away feeling a little unsteady.  I felt as though something had been stirred up that was kind of hard.  For me I realized that since I had never grieved the loss of my father, this feeling was shoved down and was reexperienced in a kind of distorted fashion in the way we might walk around an angry bull. Be know the bull is angry but we don’t do anything to help the bull release its anger.  We just keep walking around it and that bull just stays mad as hell.  For years.  Maybe he dies angry.  So letting this stuff goes is like walking right up to that bull and not being afraid of it only to find that the bull suddenly changes.  He melts.  Then, instead of a big bad creature we all stay away from, he became a gentle giant who lounges in the shade of trees and snorts from time to time, but only because he pulled in too much pollen from the flowers he was smelling.  Yes, this healing process is much like this. It is a revelation.

In the wake of this partial clearing my thoughts have cleared much more.  A whole slew of things I am seeing in a much clearer light than I had before.  Issues related to how the pain in my root had served to set up a vibration that attracted other people with similar problems. I have been able to see more clearly with compassion how people have sought to hurt me in the past.  I just see it differently.  the universal field energy is moving through me without the same lenses that I had in place.  People I was once attracted to I see as they are…..as people who are themselves not complete in their process, quite gnarly, and thus given to biting and other chaotic behavior. I know that as I dissolve this last big block remaining, it should have a corresponding effect on how I see and feel about a range of things that have caused me suffering.

It makes healing job one.

Being able to bring love and compassion into the moment is so important.  Learning the balance between selfless love and sound boundaries with people who are themselves not yet there is so important.  I remember toddling on my feet after getting up from the table from Reiki and someone behind me asked if I was interested in learning to do reiki and I explained that I always felt like I would be really good at it but I wanted to be as clear as I could be.  I smiled and looked over at the lady on my left and I said, “And that is why I am here.”

I hope to return next week and every week thereafter until this block is completely clear.  And then?  Its curious because a voice inside of me said “You will soon be clear…..what awaits you then I wonder???”  And I realized, whoah, I am nearing this point…..releasing all this stuff which is karmic….maybe its time I begin to shift gears into healing work.  Well who knows, right?  Life is a mystery.

The Physiology of Kundalini

That is the title of a book written about coping with kundalini.  Today, however, I was in the studio working with my students on sculpture projects and while I was doing so there was a discussion about creativity and the brain.  This is one of my favorite topics and it has been given new life with my own awakening which has helped to highlight a good many things in regards to what happens with the body and brain in the midst of such an experience.  The topic made a turn for slightly subtle realms when one of the students wondered aloud if the experience of consciousness was beyond the body or if it was just the body.  This person was thinking or feeling it was beyond body.

We were talking about this whole connection and I said that what is really remarkable is the Left/Right brain relationship and that when we can let the left brain serve the right brain (effectively a linear processor serving a parallel processor) then we can begin to see just how amazing the brain is in creating a hologram in 3-D physical chemistry of the domain of the soul, of consciousness beyond the body.  I said consider what happens when awareness is not there at the body for an experience that is in consciousness…..it is as though it does not exist….and people will thus pooh-pooh an idea or experience they themselves have not had because they can’t feel it or “get” it at all.  And yet, the body HAS to have a way to record or measure the nonphysical experience which is in the ether, of the experience or else it is as good as not known or experienced.  So for the brain to be able to contemplate the infinite is pretty amazing.  You begin to realize the masterwork involved in the chemistry necessary to make up what we feel inside our skins.

Within the Light Body or what the Hindus call the Pranamayakosha, there are these nonphysical layers and within these layers there are different vibrations of energy that move through them.  This light body is electromagnetic and is fed by iron rich blood pumping through the body to create a weak but very real electrical and electromagnetic field.  When I read an aura it is courtesy of this field which displays the information as a stream of light and color around the body….again…in layers.  It is like having a slew of bodies one inside the other.  This body will record everything that has ever happened to you in the same way that the brain does.  Anything that you have had a hard time allowing to flow through you and has gotten “caught” emotionally will lodge and create a block.  Over time these blocks can be many.  Releasing these blocks leads to liberation and freedom from the emotions that served to create them in the first place.  Instead of denying emotion, they are instead felt fully and can be released through a range of methods which can be as simple as movement (Qi Gung worked for me), shaking (learned by an animal behaviorist by watching how animals shed trauma), reexperiencing the emotion, body massage or deep tissue manipulation, as well as Reiki and Reiki-like methods for moving energy.  But however the methods, the effects are permanent and leave the self increasingly free from the bonds of certain stuck emotions.  As these things are often shed chakra by chakra, they also go layer by layer….so think of the light body as a house with seven levels and seven rooms (chakras) within each level.  Or an onion with seven layers.  By doing this clearing, you also optimize the brain and body connection as well.  While kundalini brings wild swings as a result of latent karmic energy in the chakras or light body, these swings are less and less as you move through the process of casting off the dross.

My experience as a result of having to deal with the dark night of the soul, which for me was the revving up of kundalini to extremely high levels along with the triggering of some sort of adrenal response in my body, resulted in a painful six month ordeal where my adrenals were stuck in the on position.  This experience forced me to learn how to deal with fear in a while new way. It was the most arduous experience I have to date experienced.  It was also one of the most illuminating, too. I had to work to get my chemistry balanced the right way.  Along the way I learned how the body is a mirror of our feelings and just how much of a choice every single emotion is.  It underscored just how important it was that we choose healthy perspectives in living.  If we feel like a victim, this will be very disempowering and the body will follow suite PERFECTLY.  Being able to gain some measure of control over the body and what it does is huge for helping illustrate the clear connection between mind/brain and body chemistry.  I can make my body chemistry change ON A DIME now.  As a result, it pays for me to remain in a state of mind that is most conducive to bliss and a good flow of positive energy.  Instead of negatives reinforcing, its positives.

This is where developing a way of dealing with positive energy in an ongoing fashion is very helpful.  Perhaps you take something off the shelf….like yoga or a form of meditation.  For me, kundalini showed me the path WAS meditation.  Most of what I do in my day-to-day is like living a prayer.  This prayer is about the highest and best.  It is exciting because there were times when I could not imagine living like this.  There was, I think, just too much chaotic energy.  But all of this is a process and I can have my days.  the intense adrenal burn of kundalini three and a half years ago was very hard on my body.  Some suggested adrenal burn-out.  Time has shown that I still have reasonable adrenal function despite what I went through.

There is a very real mind/body connection with us as humans. This is no less obvious than in awakening.  How amazingly well the body will respond to our thoughts is a wonderful teacher for you if you can observe.  If you feel bad you will learn that its you who is doing it.  It’s not you being at the mercy of your body (unless you have a longstanding physiological problem that prohibits you from creating some portion of the necessary chemistry for some reason). This is, to my mind, the beginning at least, of learning how to be the master instead of the slave, the victor, not the victim.