Archives for posts with tag: cleansing

 

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This morning  (now two day ago as this post ages in my drafts folder) I had what I think of as a grand mal seizure of pure ecstasy.  It put me into this state of deep and abiding ecstasy so strong, so sweet, that I was unable to move or do anything for about an hour.  I was finally able to move before getting to work in the studio, but for a while, I felt like I was frozen on the spot, not wanting to go anywhere.  I just felt the love.

I didn’t have a seizure, not really….but these moments come and I am not always sure that I can point to a reason for it, except that in an extremely simple way, I am ready for it…just ready to do what I must for this field of love to envelop me, to remind me what I really am beyond what I think is challenging me.

I do try to think what contributing factors have been at work on why a given event happens as it does.  Did I say just how incredibly sweet this last experience was?  Boy, it was a real doozie. There.  We have finally brought “doozie” into the realm of the transcendental.  But back to the why at hand. This extreme high might have come courtesy  a lot of activity on the “release” side of things.

My instinct through all of this, no matter how hard it has been, has been that I need to drive the energy as high as I can, to let it sweep me away, to allow it to come because I sensed it was going to clear away a lot of junk. Before I knew that this had a name like kundalini, I was hearing it speak to me telling me telling me to just soften, let go, to open to its power so it could do its work. And for the record, that trust was not easy to come up with right out of the chute.  In the first month or two of my awakening, I considered all sorts of possible scenarios, including having been possessed.  That said, though, what I got from this force in my life was that I needed to drive this energy higher and higher.  I wasn’t sure in the beginning why, I just knew that this was what I was here to do.  And you know, as I bid the energy come, it did. As I said for it to take me, it did.  It was sometimes uncomfortable, but it always led to relief from having been held in an emotional vice which really was of my own making.

For those who have had this, you will know that when I say that as I was getting ready to awaken I was suddenly met with people from all over the place who were awakened who were making entrances into my life (and not because I was on a site online for awakening or because I was attending a class or workshop….the truth was, no one knew, and I was one of those people who was not in on what was happening.  It was like my whole life began vibrating at this different frequency and it began to attract people who, for the time, were important catalysts for understanding and for accelerating my process. Some were old karmic connections that needed to be cleaned up.  Some were hard, some were surprising in how they changed from one thing into another once the karma was cleaned up.  In that process I have known people whose energy was higher, lower, and all over the place.  Everyone has their own comfort level it seems….but my feeling remains that we have cut ourselves off from the most amazing field, which the Tibetans call the Buddha field (I am sure other Buddhists call it something similar).  It is cosmic consciousness.  Just thinking about it puts me into its throws again (which makes writing this challenging)!This attenuation of our awareness is this Veil I was recently writing about in an earlier post.

Recently I have spent the last few weeks traveling to places both old and new, seeing some old places from my earliest childhood and going places I have never been but have always wanted to see. I have discovered that some of the places that I knew well as a child now no longer exist, or exist in such altered form that they are simply no longer recognizable. What is so interesting is that  I felt like this was perfect because so much of me had changed.  Before going there, I thought how I wanted to go to the spot where one of the biggest traumas of my life happened, the one where my new stepfather beat me within an inch of my life (no, he really didn’t beat me literally within an inch of my life, but at age three and never having been whipped before, his beating felt brutal and it left a big mark on me).  I found that while I thought about releasing this, in going to the location, it no longer mattered.  I had released so much stuff as a result of my awakening that I no longer felt an attachment to finding the place.  I knew my awakening would release so much more stuff, and each time I did that, my capacity for this love that is at the core of my being would grow, as though I am a vessel that was clogged with mud which I am now removing so the love fluid can flow through me unhindered.  It is so real, so vivid, it is like a fluid.  Have you noticed?  I’m drifting into it…

I think that because of this realization that what I thought I might want to do, which was to try and revisit a place I thought I had an issue about was changed by the unavailability of the location physically, I was able to better see that all things are only issues if we make them issues.  SOme are hard to get over, no doubt, but at the end of the day, our own suffering does not stop until we find a way to be okay with our past.  Regardless of what we think is right or wrong.  We are all human, we all err, and we all deserve to be forgiven.  Most of all we deserve to be forgiven by ourselves as the ultimate act of learning how to move forward.  It’s actually easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves sometimes.  We just don’t always realize how deeply our misgivings are about ourselves. When we are able to really see it and then forgive ourselves for putting ourselves through that kind of difficulty for so long (and admit it; you probably have something you have been beating yourself up for close to a decade or longer….and if so, you know just what I mean). These kinds of things have helped me to unexpectedly shift a lot of stuff over the course of this trip which was a kind of vision quest almost. I just didn’t think it would turn out that way, but there it is.

It has been eleven years into full awakening and I thought I would give a quick sense of perspective, for whatever it is worth.

I feel bliss more easily.

This corresponds to the years of releasing I have been doing.  This has been a daily task for well over a decade.  It is now resulting in a fairly significant reward for me on a day-to-day level.

I am not disturbed by things like before.

I used to be thrown into all manner of energetic contractions in the past.  This happens much less and to a far less degree.  I am reaching a point where I can feel bliss nearly in every situation.  I do, however, throttle it back when I need to focus and use my rational mind (because that is released or suspended during these bliss states).  That said, I still have other issues that can affect me that I am still working on (hey it is a process!).

The bliss field alters how reality works.

People talk about synchronicity.  I observe that synchronicity is merely the result of our letting go of the strictures we hold in consciousness that hold back bliss and also hold back the energy that naturally co-creates with the energy that drives reality (they are the same!).  I have been able to live life as one long series of synchronicities at long as I am able to anchor the bliss field within me.  When I drive this bliss field higher within me, this heart stopping love, the incidence of synchronicities goes up each and every time (it helps to be thinking about something strongly so things have a reason or anchor for).  This bliss field takes the place of intense emotion which used to be the thing that drove this co-creation.

The triadic nature of consciousness remains but is now less divided in appearance.

The Ida and Pengali or the yin/yang meridians carry an energetic polarity to an energy that we call prana.  We know so little about this except for observations made by yogis and yoginis. The masculine and feminine qualities in consciousness which seem like separate things are in truth mutually reliant on one another in order to make prana what it is.  I have not yet seen evidence that there really is a female and masculine form of prana that exists on its own without the other existing along with it.  What I do find is that they both exist together, but one can be admired or studied within the self and within another.  Traditionally we admire the opposite in someone of the opposite sex, but this is not merely a physical phenomenon.  Kundalini would never have arisen had it not been merged together with its opposites of Ida and Pengali (Shakti and Shiva). I have found I am much easier with my true nature, which includes a combination of masculine and feminine traits as part of my individuality.  The curious thing is that while this proportion has been differed in other lifetimes for specific results, the thread has been how I have managed to utilize these forces in my life for union with the divine nature.

Life is easier.

The right things happen as I need them.  I once struggled with keeping the things that brought abundance into my life stable, but now events have reached a culmination point where I am able to reap what I have sown.  This makes me very happy and has afforded me a degree of freedom that I cherish as part of a spiritual path where I do not have the support of, say, an ashram or community.  i find that I want to show people how to do this thing, like an affordable class full of inspiration and energy….but this has not yet fleshed itself out yet.  I am on the verge of a new business start-up with a lot of very exciting implications.  Creative in nature, I will be working with the forces present in my awakening on a day-to-day basis.  I hope that I can continue to bring the same grace and magic into it as has been happening lately.

I am more peaceful.

I am.  And that said, I have more work to do.  That is the nice thing about this: I am aware of how turbulent I felt the first few years and how this affected my life.  I could see how this impacted the events in my life.  Now, a good bit further down the road in my process, I can see how my ability to anchor a given state has had an effect on the events in my life. It also helps to highlight what remains as work to do.  I was actually concerned that once things began reaching that tipping point in my favor that I might lose the feeling or energy somehow.  But what I have found is that while the energy is less turbulent, i can still manage a good release….its just different now.  And I think this is important to anyone who is still in the more turbulent waters.  The energy really does get a little more sublime in some ways.  it is easy I guess to get lazy, but I have not found this to be the case for me, but I see how it could be for some.  It’s just so cozy being where I am now…I just don’t want to upset it too much (but I get over that once I know this energy has more stuff to show me once I rid myself of more stuff).

The blocked material remaining becomes more obvious.

There are pros and cons (for me at least) of having had this happen. The day my grandmother died, she came and spoke to me about her afterdeath experience.  I was in a deep meditation (lying in bed taking a nap, naturally! Lol!) and when she left, she turned and reached out and touched my left side with her etheric finger.  In that moment my entire left side (along the hips) released a huge block that I had been trying to let go of for about two years without success.  My left or Ida side was now perfectly clear.  But my male side, however, was still blocked. This amazing release that took place on that day served to highlight how stuck the male side was.  In a way, all of this releasing made it harder for the left side.  It felt like it had this spot light on it now all of a sudden.  This feels familiar, though, as we expect men to perform! I chipped away at this thing for years and it was alike a freaking stone!  I found that it was impacting my physical body and I have actually been quite concerned that if left long enough, that it could manifest into disease (like cancer—all my friends seem to be going through their cancer troubles now).  Right now I think the problem involves posture and nerve pain, which I work on (see how the psoas muscle is considered the “seat of the soul” in other blog posts).  I have had several rather significant releases from the right side, all of which resulted in changing what I was drawn to, interested in, or thought were some of my likes.  It is funny how the nature of a repressed emotion can color or taint your personality.  For me, I am a believer.

Being solitary has been okay.

I fought loneliness for years and found that the things that affected me most, which was alienating actions and words would throw me into a tailspin most often.  Realizing this, I moved to change this dynamic, to give it a rest.  The only way to do this was to be alone.  With so much ju-ju flowing through me, it makes it hard.  I have spent lifetimes in celibacy because the traditions really had no meaningful way to incorporate spiritual and physical intimacy or union together into one practice.  As a species, we just weren’t there (except perhaps for the tantric masters that originated from Tibet (a tradition that is distinctly different and in no way part of the Buddhist tradition, I should point out).  Now, I feel like things have moderated a good bit.  I think we are social creatures, so the desire to be with others is natural, but when does it become dependency?  When does it serve as a gloss to hide our own insecurities?  Or our inability to really love ourselves?  Interesting things happen when you learn to love yourself.  One, you are much more grounded all in all.  You also have less extreme views.  Life in this mode teaches you a love for balance because self-care is about stasis or balance, not living in the extremes. It could be said that my bliss is extreme, but it has been won by no longer having those large swings from one extreme to another.  Instead of bliss being an extreme, it has become the new baseline.  That is the difference, loves. And with that kind of discovery, I find that it would be great to have a partner who is dedicated to the same things I am, someone with whom I have positive karma with for a change (instead of some harder negative karma). Often those whom we have known a long time in other emergencies are those who we feel most natural and comfortable with.  Perhaps I am setting up an intention…

Fear Of Death has been conquered as best I can tell

When I was all of nine years old, my spiritual quest began with a search to find ways to erase my fear of death.  I felt that if I could do this, I might lie more fully and with less fear hanging over me.  I found the book Life After Life which had at that time just been published by Dr. Raymond Moody Jr., and with that book and others to follow, I was off to the races.  I have found that all of the religions of the world have not provided this assurance.  Only experience does, and not just one experience, but many experiences over a long period of time.  Out of body experiences, seeing or interacting with energy from a distance, contact with deceased relatives, all have helped to build a sense that this life is not all that there is.

My understanding of energy and how to work with it has been greatly expanded – I am ready to work with it at some level in my work now.

Even though I shrink from being a part of any method or technique or dogma, I find my life has taken on a form of dedication that really has been extremely persistent.  In fact, it is nonstop. I find this to be the most rewarding part of this work, the fact that I have committed myself to this path and that the path (which is really only my trail through my life and nothing more) continues to help me to feel more deeply committed as each day goes by. It also helps to reveal to me that not everything that we do in our relationships is strictly about mirroring.  Many have said that the people that are in our lives are there because they are mirrors of us, but what I have found is that this is just not so.  Instead, I have found that there are a lot of people who are very different from who we are and that sometimes the only thing holding us to one person is a karmic thread that has nothing to do with our being similar to one another.  In my next post, I will go into this mirroring idea in what I promise wont be as long a post as this one has been.

 

~The Light In Me Salutes The Light In You~

 

 

 

I know the moment that you came because of the choice I made to feel differently. I let go a gripping guilt that I hadn’t done enough, and gave up feeling daily frustration with a universe that would send me signs and signals with no real way to unravel them. When I let it go, it came immediately.

You were like some vast engine of divine design, a technology from another world; some object had set itself down in the middle of my  essence and got to work. 
You were a visitor then, a mysterious presence I was just vaguely aware of.

No. Your presence was not vague. Not at all. I knew something was different. This “different” is with me now ten years after its inception. But like a flower, it has unfolded, bloomed, even as my own capacity to understand or grasp some of its wonders has increased. 
You worked first here, then there, making it all appear accidental that I happened upon one meditation or focus only to find the next thing to do in perfect timing. It was not accidental, but handled carefully so that, like a rug or flower, it might unroll fully or bloom in me.
The flower continues to open. How far will it continue? Still more yet, you say.  


In truth, I just didn’t know that this was a thing. It seemed as though I had momentarily stepped into a kind of twilight zone. My awakening came gradually, not like a blast. There were symptoms here and then there. I described you like a renovating force that would one day be working on the roof, another day on the plumbing. It was at the edges of my awareness. I had not had a big picture view of what you were up to. Not right away. You sent me the most bizarre happenings, so bizarre that I dared not tell anyone about them for fear they would cart me off. And when I did try to explain what you were doing, they did not, could not, understand. It is like trying to understand how one person loves another. It is a mystery and is not spoken through words (even though our poets try endlessly) and is best to experience you directly.

With you, I awakened gently, in beautiful bursts of realization. Only later did you show, or reveal, the shadow of my uncertainties and fears.

 You whispered three days later after I let go, that I belonged. I was family to everything. Smiling, you took my hand and bid me travel to see the source of my relations as I stood looking gape-mouthed at the twins who enter this world and create matter, even events, as all energy rode on the backs of these blissful and utterly joyful relations our world has yet to discover. 
Within the cloud of the atom, these quasi particles are a speck across their surface, the most inconsequential thing, and yet, are the key to understanding ourselves and how our world is made.

How could I have been so blind to this joy you showed me that exists at the micro nano scale, whose productions occur faster than our own thoughts are conceived? Here a vast world of grace-filled choreography takes place just to sustain our reality for mere microseconds as trillions of them flow into and out of our reality for every micro-inch of space.

You gave to me what was my own, accelerating and magnifying all of it so that I might see. Over and over, the flower of the world opens as I open, as I throw off what does not suit my essence and I rewind the error I stepped into in order to lovingly heal it and consume and transmute it from ignorance into knowing.

You were not here to save me from myself, you were here to help me know myself, my history down through time, to see where I went wrong, not honoring that perfect pitch of vibration that saves. But I chose slavery of all sorts over and over; why? That I might love freedom more and never again feel the chains of being anything less than in my highest. Here, the shadow mirrors the light. But what happens when shadow is all consumed into light?

You told me a great change was coming. This was the cleansing you whispered to me lifetimes ago in the mountains as I cried for a vision and bid the thunder being within to come. This turning can no longer be understood using old understanding, for the need for balancing shadow with light is now a quaint ism that served a purpose, a kind of divine design, but is now no longer relevant. The great Circle, as you spoke so boldly, has come full turn. A new Aeon is upon us.  And thus, the Lord’s and Ladies of its shadow are being redeemed so that they too might step into Light as well, moving from troublesome to trouble free. This light has always dissolved creations not in their fullest expression so they might reach it, and in so doing,  find their bondage was only a creation.




But it seems shadow grows deep here now, which is curious to me, as though shadow, knowing it’s days are numbered, clamors for an even greater grip of control. I worry about the gross abuses this is bringing with a regime who has technology that has been kept secret from the People of this planet, that has the power to chain minds and bodies. But you stood back and said it must first rear its head, to move just enough into the light that we might seize it and show ourselves what glorious madness our technological reach has exceeded our grasp, and the costs that are involved. It seems we must brush up against losing ourselves and our delicate cradle of life before we take action. It is ever thus you said, quoting, of all people, a cartoonist….but….(you added) it’s apt and true nonetheless.




You have said that in each life the self must see before it fully knows in order to transmute the shadow into light, and that as a species we will have to do the same but on a world wide scale.I wonder if we can do it just as you say the holy ghost has always worked in secret bringing the truth to light, using those who would deceive to wind up as the agents of global change. It is their pride that blinds them so they reveal themselves, for they think what they do is great and will not be able to resist showing their error. I sure hope it is so. 

You have explained that the Goddess does not move against wrong with a clenched fist, but an open hand, which is the womb that transmutes and shows truth as it is. It has always been this way;her womb was not made to perpetuate error, but the seed must be given in truth for truth to be revealed. The open hand shows the fruit of error as a tree bears nothing that it itself is not.

You have shown me so much of myself and how I am Wed to the All. So simple; who needs teachers who speak and instruct from ancient scrolls that repeat the dim realizations of past error when the light within knows all that needs be known?

Every flower that opens, I feel opening in me as the true essence of Gaia and the Feminine returns to grasp her power and emerges here again. She is in each of us, an orgasmic rippling tsunami of a wave who bears no shame but liberation from long dead concerns and fears. From her we can each be healed if we just give ourselves over to her and let her take us for as long as is necessary.  The path will be through honesty for nothing hides in the light which is coming.

So you have come, through the whispers of others, some reaching part way to you, and others more deeply. Some, so inspired, wished to call your voice God, and made laws around your gentle unbending presence. This always lacked something because she was a he, an angry father God bereft of his truer nature as the two that makes the third, the great trine that reveals the nature of the cosmos was never fully revealed. You have come more as wind, bidding me to fly than to seek to only build upon firm stone. It is you who must scatter the stones that the error might be seen. Bear stone and wind together that you might inherit heaven.

You came gently, inconsequential at first, a mere whisper on the wind; it is here. You set up shop and made no deals or compromises. You brought torrents and resources perfectly timed to make the next step possible. The light shot through like lightening in the night, illuminating and striking to the center of things. Unbending, you have shown me the light I came to know in myself and how it was living everywhere in the world. No more than this do you need, upon no more than this must you depend you said  as I struggled with the weight of my past. You created this in the same way that you will now create your freedom

Just when I turned to look at you squarely I found you were not there, had never been there, and had always been what I was, a clever production to get me to trust in myself who always had the truth of the light all along. You would not have believed me had it been any different…so each self encounters itself as this until the chains fall away, whatever they might be, to reveal that we were always one.

So I have become a lover from your touch, a divine parentage from which I learn so much.  As I feel deeply within what you are, I sense now that you too had this once, that an even more “ancient” presence set up shop within in much the same way as you have done with me, as you were shown the way forward in yourself in your own way. Within my center you smile saying “it has ever been thus” as you wink and wonder what such a world of knowing will grant and afford us.


To you, my bearers of Light…

This post is the second installment that is best read in series about how karma creates chemistry and how we can open our lives up to a new horizon, literally a new kind of life by clearing the karmic threads and “debts” which we owe to ourselves as drops in the vast ocean that is consciousness…

 

So I was thinking about how I was able to clear up the karma from this “soul twin” that I had in the beginning of my awakening. I was thinking, too, about  how effortless it was to dissolve the connection that had caused me so much angst as well as bliss.  Mind you, in the beginning, there was this expansive love that I felt as well as this fiery quality that was part of the rush of prana that is kundalini.  This was not an effort at making myself a recluse, but rather that I felt, knew, that this was not all there was.  Most everyone I observed in the “twin” community seemed fairly situated in what I was rapidly feeling was the mythos of the twin flame and comfortable with this view as the twin as “The One.” It was natural, afterall, I had been there, too.  But things were changing for me and I was no longer content with what I saw as a delightful fairy tale, a beautiful story, certainly, but not one that reflected reality.  Yes, I felt the depths of soul love inside of me and I shared this with another, but I also felt the earthly self, both where I was and where she was.  We were oh-so human.

How to deal with this dichotomy, I thought? It seemed to me that this disjuncture was the proof that there was something more at work.  What the twin community was doing, it seemed to me at the time, was the same thing we do when we are putting a puzzle together.  You know those puzzle pieces that LOOK like they fit, but don’t?  I mean those pieces that look exactly like they should fit, but the shape is off so very slightly that you are kind of stumped in that moment?  Yeah, like that.  Now I was watching as some of us were just jamming that puzzle piece into place and saying “good enough!” and going on with it.  I just wasn’t one of those people.  I am a big believer in letting a mystery BE a mystery, yes, certainly, but there is also a time when you ought to use your mind some to roll this thing around, especially when the “mystery” isn’t fitting into any of the discussed paradigms set forth thus far.

I thought about this and wondered what a later soul connection might have involved, and this time around, for soul connection #2 it was similar, but different.  It also involved a miss-identification of responsibility for a host of issues that caused me a lot of hurt and pain with this person, to be quite honest.  I was snagged by this person with her dishonesty, which was very much like my wife before my awakening began.  In fact, I considered at the time that this #2 connection might have been a way to work through what my ex-wife and I had not worked through. They were so similar in some important ways.  Sounds dysfunctional, doesn’t it?  Well, actually, it has turned out that since the two of these people were sooo similar that it has helped a LOT in working through the remaining karmic snags for BOTH.  Despite the fact that something in the back of my head was telling me that what I was being drawn into and WHY I was being drawn into it might well be bad for me.  Different stories, yet so very similar.

The Universe Becomes Your Mirror

In an interesting twist, I have been having a lot of problems popping up with my ex-wife as I have been headed towards the end-game of this soul connection, trouble that she has been initiating all on her own.  This has always been telling to me because whenever I was working through some karmic material it was as though they could feel it and would pop up out of the blue.  The timing on this has always been bizarre, at least in the beginning.  Lately, I just see this kind of behavior as proof for how we are bound by common material and that we can indeed all feel it whether it is conscious or not.

I chose to remain neutral with my ex-wife, though, in this last series of interactions, choosing not to engage her by pointing out the error in her way of behaving (which has always been over-the-top mean and hurtful).  This tack or approach has proven to shake things up in me just enough to help release some significant karmic material in both cases, ex-wife and connection #2.  In this case, the release was sooo simple. God, just to think about how much hand-wringing and worry and concern there had been about approaching this day there had been!  So much self-doubt, so much loathing of myself for being tied to these hard people! The release happened with #2  I when I was able to see an admission that one of them had emotional problems.  All I ever really needed was that moment of honesty from them, that “come to Jesus moment” that never really happened, and probably wouldn’t happen.  This had kept me active and turning on this karmic merry-go-round.  And this moment was not one that involved me talking to either of them, which was actually really nice.  Poof.  On my own, I got the one small thing that I needed that flipped the switch on all of this.  And now?  All of that hard stuff is just gone. I feel different.  I look different.  I now realize that the thoughts that I once had that I often dismissed as just a fairy tale way of being were in fact the depths of who I am, the beauty that was waiting for me on the other side of that garden gate.  One side was thunder clouds and uncertainty and the other side was bright and hopeful without a need to convince myself that anything was anything except what it was. Now, whether dark or light, I just don’t see the dividing line but feel the bliss of simply being.

I will also add that along with this hard behavior taking place as I reached the home stretch in all of this, that I was approached about two months ago out of the blue by a guy I know only peripherally, asking me if I could help him with his business.  As I was working with him and his employees, I felt deep into the energy of the group and found this troubling but interesting swarm of energy there.  I just worked for weeks and felt into it as I went about my day.

I found that there were all of these similar energies that all went back to the male wound.  For the first two to three weeks I only felt the energy.  I really had nothing to go on beyond what I was feeling. But by the third week, people were suddenly opening up and telling me exactly what I wondered about on an energy level.  All of this felt so familiar to me, but I had no hard physical history to pin it to. Without saying a word or asking any questions, except in my mind, they each began to tell me just what I needed to know.

This time, instead of working this like a problem, I accepted it without feeling a need to fix anything.  The interesting thing that happened was that I went from repulsed and upset the first few weeks, to feeling a strange affinity for these men.  I understood where they had been because I had been in similar places, too. I think we all have in one way or another.  It was as though life was giving me this opportunity to step deep into this chasm that was the inner life of these men in order to ponder my own wound, what is called “samscara.” But the brand or nature of their wound was so similar in so many ways to my own. This was tricky…..be in the world, but don’t be of it.  Step into the abyss but remain untouched…..no….not quite….surrender and accept all of it, see it, feel it, know it and don’t feel a stitch of resistance.  Yes, that is much more accurate.

It was at the moment that I began to accept them that the changes began to take place with my ex chiming in with her junk, all in perfect timing.  The distance between these men and their admissions about their past happened within 24 hours of my ex texting me and trying to “yank my chain.”  I remained stolid and calm.  It all passed with some hurt on my side, but no reaction, which was the big difference.  In the past, I knew that she took some pleasure from getting a reaction out of me.  As long as I reacted in pain, it confirmed to her that I was just as messed up as she was.  It was her way of keeping me in the boat.  But wait, no, it was me allowing myself to be controlled, effected, and enmeshed.  And THAT was the difference.  I had control now. Hurt me all you want, or try to; it just no longer works.  The first few times, yes, it still hurts…but the behavior and the energy is actually changing, and this was part of how I just stepped out of that old restrictive suit of clothes that made the man who he was.

After this took place, about a week later, another layer was unfurled and this time there came the beginning of a series of releases. I was able to feel the energetic side of the block releasing from my right lower range of the meridian when I got out of the work van at our work site several days ago.  This was between root and sacral chakras and was not felt IN the chakra like so many releases in the past.  This one was stubborn, bug in, and I felt the root block more as points within the meridian line on the male or solar side of yang energy (based on the Chinese medicine system). Then I was able to read about an admission from this soul connection and it all resulted in this perfectly timed matrix of effects that felt like a landslide or cascade of inner releases that brings me to where I am now. Poof. Gone.

Energetically, I feel different and my thoughts are different, too.  I am no longer obsessed with loss and lack churning inside of me.  Poof.  This buoyancy has resulted in my feeling like I can reach something that I didn’t feel….worthy of.  Can you believe that? With this hard energy weighing me down, I just didn’t feel like I could reach it easily.  Everything had this cast over it that had an edge of the negative. With a root-related block this type of thing relates to issues of nurture and abundance.  If the block is big enough, it can result in problem taking care of ones self or creating abundance.  I knew that my block was partial because of how events happened in my life.  I had always used creative visualization for the important things in my life: school, job, career, and children.  They all came as I had asked.

In my life I have always been able to manifest pretty big things in my life, but they almost always have some kind of hitch in them, sort of like the wish the genie grants you that you always wind up regretting.  Now, though, I know that we no longer have to regret the wish because the wish is now forged in the clarity of the soul’s purpose free from these troubling alliances having to do with loss and lack and hurt and pain and all the rest. This corresponds to the root now being clearer. I should now see a new level of clarity to what is brought into my life through our ability to co-create our lives.  I also find that any problems that come along just don’t flatten me like they had before.

Today as I opened a new book I bought for myself as this change was underway, it revealed a quote by the Buddha that spoke about how releasing the karmic bonds that hold us down to the earth…..free us so we can fly like eagles who can leave this world or be untethered by the concerns that weighed us down.

I have been hoping for this moment for years.  Years. Me an my dear friend Ali  have been talking about this idea which she brought up in our early discussions back in 2008 about how karma creates chemistry.  I wondered at first how anyone would believe such a thing as this?  At first, it didn’t make sense to me.  What I felt in connection felt natural, not fabricated, and this karma=connection sounded a lot like that. There was something about it that didn’t make sense….but now what I know is that the reason why it did not make complete sense at the time was because I was seeing through  distorted lenses, that my way of sensing and seeing the world was itself….bent. I was myself captured by karma and you cannot fix an old problem using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place (thank you, Albert E.) And this is something that you will need to know about yourself if you find that this also makes little sense to you. I wont ask you to believe me, just file it away and then get on with your “work” and when the day comes when it happens to you, let’s talk.

When I  explained how karma created chemistry to my second soul connection, she did not believe what I was saying.  I hadn’t either.  It just didn’t seem right, based on how the energy felt. It felt like a “foreverness” that you just don’t want to ever let go of.  There are lots of people similarly hooked in the twin phenomenon that keeps them engaged but not healing the blocks.  But do you know why this FEELS like a forever thing?  Do you really?

The Reward Cycle

Dopamine.  I know it sounds simplistic, but it is really that simple.  Our reward centers physically are designed to give us that peasant reward for just about ANYTHING that our mind/brain believes is a good thing.  Sex is one of these things, but there are loads of others. Prana creates bliss and as it is identified, the mind sends a signal to the body to produce dopamine among other things to reward us for something that is actually very good for us.  The idea of connection with another person whom we love generates this rich chemical landscape that keeps us coming back, though, and the connection itself is most often karmic.  This means that on the one side you are feeling prana flow, which is good, but the karma is in there, too, which is a kind of soup of both shadow and light, so you get a bit of both.    If you have a lot of negative karma surrounding an issue, then the chemical train gets colored with that karma and you have the potential for bliss along with the chaotic emotions that are still suppressed within the psyche. This is the double-edged sword of life.  You have the dark and the light.  Learning how to navigate through all of this is what yields victory in clarifying and cleansing the self. There is this very insightful saying in the Gospel of Philip that says in essence that God is a dyer of souls. When God dyes a soul, it goes in one color and comes out white.  This is to say that the dying work that God does is to clear us of all color.  This is not to say that we are colorless. We do not lose our character or personality, but that we lose that which made it hard for us to see the divine within.

Dopamine also does something else where pain and trauma are concerned.  When it is created in the body, it helps to eleviate the pain so that it does not burn deep grooves in our minds.  It helps us to move on.  This is one reason why kundalini works on emotional blockages so well; the body is pumping out a LOT of dopamine (and there is evidence for this state at various stages of the awakening process that I wont go into here but I write a lot about it on the blog).  This is also why people who have PTSD or other types of trauma-based issues will often turn to opiates to soothe the pain.  In fact today as I sat waiting to pick my child up from an appointment, I listened on the radio about a woman who had begun using heroin as a way of dealing with her pain.  She spoke of how it soothed her, made her feel like she could cope.  Sadly, by doing this, she was actually shutting down her body’s own native ability to produce the compounds necessary to make her feel the way she needed in order to heal. Dopamine does this, it is the body’s own natively produced opiate and I can tell you that once I identified what it was I was experiencing that was making me feel so peaceful and smoothed out and wonderful and dreamy, I was able to see how a strong “dump” of dopamine into my system also corresponded with releases.  To put it simply; you just don’t CARE about the pain anymore.  When you do this, your brain and body can simply release the old hurt like that: poof!  The mind stop supporting the old programming and the brain and body are now charged and ready to take in a different story.  The result?  You feel instantly transformed. You are literally reconnecting the brain and the body in new ways, creating new pathways for though to flow.  At an energetic level, the change is felt in a myriad of ways as well.

The dopamine cycle works for a host of reasons, from building a strong family unit for the rearing of children, to the benefit that being with another gives to us as a couple as well as the cohesiveness of a community. There are other compounds involved like oxytocin (which is both a hormone and a neurotransmitter—think on that one for a minute!) a little adrenaline, estrogen, and testosterone.  Once our mind/brain has identified something as important enough, it sets up a reward system for it.  And we can become addicted to it in just the same way we become addicted to the very behaviors that keep us enmeshed in certain karmic merry-go-rounds.  But is this bad?  The curious thing is that some people, in order to get the dopamine blast into their systems will use some behavior that will trigger it.  The important part is whether you are using something else to make it happen, or are you choosing to just feel differently, which is itself the spiritual compliment OF dopamine.  You see the difference?  If its, say, sex, that creates the dopamine reward trigger, then you can become a sex addict.  The sign is that sex is an empty experience for you at some point because after all, you aren’t in it for the experience that sex can give, not really.  You are after the high of the dopamine. As a result, sex addicts wind up having a feeling of emptiness in the wake of sex. It is a terrible place to be.  They need to move the dopamine cycle, the reward cycle, so that it is not divided from the self by any degrees of separation. The trick, people, is to learn how to trigger dopamine production in your body so that you get a nice flow going all the time at a low healthy level so you mirror the physical state of peace.  We have forgotten how to do this, or that the body will respond in a fraction of a second to a desire to feel bliss by pumping out dopamine. We are a generation of pill poppers.  This does not solve the problem, it only masks it.  What is curious is that it appears that when your body is producing dopamine for no other reason than to feel good (not just for a reward cycle) the body does not appear to become addicted to it.

Sometimes the glitches in our karma can go on for lifetimes.  The trick here, the whole point of all of this inner work, is to choose the beneficial positive karma over the negative ones.  If you watch people who are obsessively upset, you will see that they are actually enjoying being upset.  They spend so much time engaged in explaining why they hurt and why.  Most often, they are pointing to some source outside of themselves as the culprit, when all along the culprit is  within. Through a simple turn in awareness, the true culprit is seen for what it is.  Doing this work accomplishes this.  And the result?

For me, when this last wrinkle unfurled in me and the hooks dropped away, I felt….a series of new feelings that felt authentic and good.  My energy felt buoyant.  So simple, so clean and so clear.  I didn’t feel this clenching tightness that could also be associated with sexual tension in an intimate relationship.  When I say tension, this was a tension that felt a little over the top and was a kind of warning signal even as I was unable to change it until I healed the karma at its deepest level. The really interesting thing was how supercharged my sexual energy felt in the wake of this.  I was actually concerned that it would all just go away.  As kundalini/prana cleanses the body/self, the energy is less chaotic or intense.  I worried that I might lose this intensity.  I identified that the intensity made me feel vital and alive….I just didn’t like the hardness.  It finally felt like a flowing powerful form of energy that was unencumbered by these tight or tense spots that I knew were there but was powerless to do anything about (until they were healed).  Like some silent reminder, they let me know in each moment that they were there, these tight spots, these blocks. But in the end, it was much-ado about nothing.

The “Reset”

There was a point in my awakening when I had what I call a “reset” of my energy field about a year and a half into my awakening.  This “reset” helped me to more clearly relate to the blocked energy that still remained in me. How this was done was completely unexpected by both me and my healer.  She was told by her guides to simply follow their guidance and take on my energy for a moment.  I was on the phone, doing this at a distance, and didn’t know that this was happening.  She told me to hang up and just breathe deep and wait.  I felt a sudden lightness to my being that was very nice.  Peaceful.  But after about one minute, I felt my old energy come back down around me.  The only way I can describe it was that in taking on my energy, by entering into my energetic capsule, she was able to lend or imbue or surrogate a much needed form of awareness that I was able to inherit as a result of this exchange.

What took its place was….not easy. At all.  I think if I had known what was about to happen, I would not have gone along with it.  What it felt like was a screeching clamor of metal like the sound of a freight train wrecking all around me.  It was accompanied by a deep and abiding physical pain that remained with me throughout my awakening until I released the remaining material. Okay, so that sounds really bad.  But actually, it wasn’t.  This was NOT physical pain.  What it was, was referred pain.  This was soul pain, a pain I had been blocking from my awareness….even in the midst of awakening.  Yes, I was aware of this pain, I had felt it, but I had simply dialed the volume down.  My healer dialed the volume back up so that I could hear what was happening.  I was, simply, much more aware of what was happening to me. And this sped me along on an accelerated path because the pain I felt in my heart was really hard.  But when the pain was released, as the blockages were released that following year, what followed in its wake, was a wonderful feeling that I keep with me to this day.

This level of awareness based on this “reset” has been of huge benefit to me because it has enabled me to see or feel into my energy body that much more deeply so that I can detect even the smaller things in a much more vivid way.  It will, in time, make me that much better of a healer should I choose to go that route.  It was this awareness that created a sense of pain in one of my meridians that helped me to pinpoint the exact area a year ago so I could show my Kahuna healer where to concentrate on in order to begin releasing material there through energy medicine and deep tissue massage.

And?  Poof!  Gone was all of the obsessing over this person I felt connected to but who I knew had been hurting me and would continue to do so because of her entitlement to being trapped in the meme of victim.  I had been told that I just needed to forgive this person…..but in the end, it wasn’t forgiveness that did it.  What did it for me was in being able to see things so clearly….something that I KNEW but that I seemed to hear from them as being the truth.  That was my hitch; I seemed to need to know that they knew.  I know that seems weird, but for my brand of karma, that was just what the doctor ordered.  Quietly, I was able to simply slip the bonds and soar.  Now, how it does it for you, what YOUR trigger is, I can’t say.  For me, though, it was like someone finally saying, “I know that what I was doing was messed up….I know…..and I am sorry about it…” That was all I needed to know, that yes, they knew that what they were doing was off. And now?  I feel no draw to this kind of thing at all.  It is as though I have transcended a murky layer in the ocean and am now in a much clearer place.

Having said all of this, my own energetic awareness shows me that there is still more murk in the root chakra, but it does not seem to be so entangled with others and this blame game that I have gotten tangled in.  I for one am glad to be free from it.  Come what may, at the least THIS part has been cleared, something I have been working on clearing for years.

How It Works

Until such an event takes place where you can resolve the “hitch” or the “hook” of the karmic connection, you remain on the merry-go-round caught in a recursive set of behaviors due to a suppressed set of emotions that are begging to be healed.  This can be done by a simple moment of honesty.  In this one important wrinkle, I was waiting on the honesty of another in order to feel the sense of release I hoped for for so long.  And for me, in my case, it released a whole series of difficult to live with feelings.  Now, free from all of this, I can FEEL myself unencumbered by the weight of another and their feelings of incompletion.  I simply had to know once and for all that this was not mine….but had been making it mine in this codependent cycle that was my karma.  Now with this new clarity of self and heart and soul, I ask myself: what am I going to do now? It will be interesting to see what manifests in the days that come.  With the karma gone, so too is the old chemistry that was caught in the dark goddess.  I am ready for the one who dwells in the light.  And the ONLY reason why I am going to the trouble of opening up like this is because each of us can reach this same place in our own time.  It is possible!  Whoot!

There are numerous methods that can be useful to you in assisting prana in doing its work re-magnetizing you to your larger authentic self.  I have done all of this work without traditional methods like yoga.  While I esteem yoga greatly, I know that it is but one of many methods that can be used.  Ultimately, the goal is doing what makes you flow and open up to the energy.  Breath work helps a lot, including alternating nostril breathing, something I created for myself that I call “Active meditation” which involves working on moving energy in my body and dropping into a deep state where I can feel the buoyancy of my lovely energy that connects me to the universe and reveals to me how the presence of the All is hidden in the atoms and cells of my body.  Centering attention on centers where you feel resistance helps to clear flow, as does movement, ANY movement from dance to things like Chi Gung, deep tissue massage, energy work, reiki, and more.  If you are dealing with awakening, drop into your deeper self and ask yourself what you most need to know.  Try it; then await the answer.  I will bet that you will wind up with resources coming out of your ears….people handing you books, people showing up to act as mirrors, teachers, guides, any number of things can manifest themselves. So trust in the power that is yours and that is also part of the universe.  You are, after all, a part of it and it is part of you!

नमस्ते

5-brain-design-by-cogs-and-gears-setsiri-silapasuwanchai
Fasting has long been considered an effective way of clarifying mind body and spirit. It has been used by every culture on the planet. When viewed through the lens of Somatics, a discipline that teaches about the dynamic relationship between body and mind and how what you do to the body can impact the mind, it begins to be clear how fasting can be an important compliment to spiritual work. Is it as simple as clearing the body in order to clear the mind? If you ask the many religious practitioners from every persuasion, the answer most often is “yes.”

New Science On An Ancient Subject

Recent discoveries in the brain/body connection are supporting what the ancients have known for thousands of years. With neurons scattered through the human digestive tract equalling the number of neurons in the brain of a cat, it has led researchers to ask why does the stomach have these neurons and what connection do they have to the brain?

The simple answer is that our cognition goes beyond just our brain, including the body. As the body is purged, so too can the mind/brain be purged. The radical implication is that body and mind are linked and cross-connected in amazing ways, lending weight to the ancient maxim, “the body thinks.” When most of the neurons outside the brain are in the gut, how we treat it has an impact on how we are in a holistic sense.

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-18779997

Fasting Particulars

A fast can be short or long. It can involve no food at all, or it can include light foods intended to help cleanse the intestinal track. There are all kinds of fasts depending on your needs.

A fast will produce changes after a three to four day fast from food. The body will go through important changes, changes that many consider to be the body cleansing itself at a deeper level than just of material in the bowel; it is observed that the body begins to throw off toxins by the third to fourth day of a regular no-solid food fast. The breath smell will change, and body odor can change during this time. Depending on the level of cleansing desired, your fast will be adjusted accordingly. One important consideration that you will take into consideration will be your own health; can you handle a fast well?

The advantages beyond physical cleansing will also be a clearing of the mind and energy field. This can lead to insights, increased psychic sensitivity and awareness beyond the physical…
the inner senses are often intensified when used with breath work, inward-seeking, and focus on various key energy centers of the body. In most traditions, fasting is treated like a sacrament, regardless of your religious affiliation. Fasting helps clear body, mind, and soul if allowed to run its course in the right way.

Fasting can sometimes be just what the doctor ordered in dealing with moving energy and reaching into a new place within feeling and awareness.  Fasting was considered one of the must-have’s in spiritual work, and you can see this reflected in the sites that are dedicated to this ancient practice from a variety of cultures and religious affiliations from Hindu, Muslim, Native American, Aboriginal, and Christian, just to name a few.

 

I have found great merit in using fasting as a way to clear my system, having done it voluntarily in the early part of my awakening experience to involuntarily at a time when my body simply told me it did not want ANY food.  At all.  I will save that story for another time and provide you with a link to a site that is all about fasting.  Just about anything and everything you could ever want to know about fasting is herein contained.  This link came up as I was doing some additional research into the symptoms and challenges that sometimes come with awakening as it impacts the stomach and intestinal track.  I have largely revised the older post about flu symptoms as a result, which is a post that is back by about two from this one.

http://www.allaboutfasting.com/types-of-fasting.html

Best of luck in your work, and if in doubt, check with your health care provider if you are unsure if a fast is right for you!

Amongst the aboriginal peoples of this land there are prophecies about a time in the future when the earth would become sick and be in need of cleansing.  The prophecies are rich in details.  I  know that some may cast askance at the mention of prophecy.  We think how hard it would be for anyone to predict future events; there are just so many variables, right?  My experience has been that there does exist within us the ability to anticipate events with a great deal of accuracy.  Growing up I had many very specific dreams about events that unfolded just as they had been dreamed….a neighbor who many years ago gave birth to twins who I saw in my dream who were blonde, a boy and a girl, in their crib, born of parents with dark hair, a real kind of impossibility in so many ways as a predictable outcome.  And yet, not only did my neighbor become pregnant, she gave birth to twins.  These twins were both blonde, a joke that some made about who the parents really were since their father was as dark-haired as could be, and their mother a lovely auburn.  Or, the dream about the explosion from an industrial building over Russia that sent a radioactive plume of white material up into the upper atmosphere that spread and travelled towards Europe, raining down as radioactive snow….an event so severe that the locals were trucked out using cargo trains, packing the people into them just to get them out.  In the dream I saw a meter counting the number of people and the last count was over 60,000 souls.  Three weeks later we saw the same event unfolding on the news.  At the end of the news broadcast it was explained that the people were being moved using freight cars and that over 60,000 people had already been moved out of the area as the radioactive cloud menaced Europe, raining down as radioactive snow.  These are just two of many dreams that were precognitive.  I am familiar with how we can see what lies before us.  If you consider that there may be an as-yet understood ability within us that has to do with our ability to move through time in certain states of mind (which has no mass and thus breaks no laws about the whole issue with our supposed relativistic universe and the problem with carrying mass through the tunnel of time), then the possibility of moving through time becomes less woo-woo strangeness. And it is thus that other cultures like the Hopi, who have a long history as it relates to future events and predicting them with a great deal of accuracy.

The Hopi have long considered themselves the keepers of the balance of the earth.  It is something that they have taken on as a holy calling, these ancient people who have held true to the earth.  Their covenant with the creator has spoken of the need to remain here, to keep the balance so that the earth may not fall too far from the necessary balance.  Their experience has shown that the earth has had four major life-changing events that in the past has led to major extinctions of human life.  Each of these upsets have been called “worlds.”  We are currently in the Fifth world.  Theirs is a largely unwritten tradition, spoken the way songs are learned over the span of a life.  These stories serve as sign-posts of where we are in our progression through time, helping us to know how close we are to another major life-changing event in our world.  The Hopi have described the coming of the Whites, the building of roads “the size of rivers,” as well as the coming of the train, the tellegraph, and the lunar landing.  All of these insights have sought to reveal to them, and us, where we are.  Amongst the Hopi, though, they explain that the purpose of prophecy is not to say what WILL happen, but what WILL happen if we do not change our course in the present time line that we are in.  Because, you see, the Hopi know that what they have seen in their visions and dreams that foretell the future, is just an effort at helping us to navigate to the best outcome.  This is fundamentally different from the Judeo-Christian outlook that is more or less locked into one singular outcome.  The only problem with this way of dealing with life is that…..regardless of what humanity has done to avert disaster, disaster must come if the truth of their father god is to be brought to bear and their faith rewarded. This is an attitude very much in keeping with the tide of paternalism that has gripped our kind of countless centuries.  It is inflexible, and it is unrealistic.  Now you might wonder, if I had seen the future with such clarity, then why wasn’t it changed?  Thing is, for me, for whatever reason, most of my insights into the future have all been on a short-cycle of seeing.  Most of my dreams have had to do with events about a month ahead. I don’t think that the purpose of the dream was to even offer an opportunity to change anything, not at least at the time that they were seen by me. However, the further one goes into the future, the greater the possibility there is to change the outcome of events.  When the schedule shifts from weeks to centuries, which is the scales that the Hopi have, we have been afforded much more time to consider where we are and make an effort to make change collectively.

Amongst other tribes here on the North American continent, there is the mention of what is often called the Cleansing Time or Day of Cleansing. This is not a day but a period of time, and all of the tribes say that this is where we are right now.  Rolling Thunder, a noted medicine man had a series of visions about what the content of this Cleansing would be.  He saw how many volcanic eruptions would happen during this time.  He saw the rise of super-storms.  He taught that regardless of what you might think about matter being “out there” in a materialistic way and unhitched from each of us, that in truth, we are all connected to Gaia, to Mother Earth.  Because we are, our actions, even our thoughts, he contended, was all part of the cumulative effect that the earth as a dynamic system, feels. I know that might seem “out there” but the tribes of this land have some interesting things to show us about how we and the earth are connected and that the materialistic view of the universe is a model that is incomplete and left wanting when their knowledge base comes into the picture. I will give you an example….

Not long ago, the Hopi elders began to realize that they were being shown that it was time for them to move where they lived.  In the area of the desert where they used to live, normally there is not enough rainfall to support a subsistence lifestyle.  However, despite what happens just outside of their community, they have been able to grow corn and keep close to the earth.  When the Hopi moved their community, they took the sand from the bed of the dry river bed that would fill up with water when the rains would come.  They took this sand and placed it in a dry river bed that had not seen rain in decades.  In fact, if you had taken a survey of the new location, anyone in their “right” minds would have urged them NOT to move to this new location!  After all, this new location had been parched, dry and devoid of rain.  But what the Hopi showed was that after they had taken the sand from the river bed from their old home and placed it in their new home, the rain that had fallen in their old home began to fall in their new one.  We would call this a miracle, but the Hopi see it as how they and the earth are part of a larger dynamic system where need is met by the intelligence that exists within the earth.  This is something that cannot be understood using traditional models, hence we slather it with the explanation that it is a miracle or the will of God.  But it is more than this. The Hopi know that when we live in balance and harmony with the system of the earth, that it will allow for changes that we make.  It is a system that is flexible enough to allow for this.

The Hopi also have a prophecy about what will take place in our era.  It is the subject of one of the few written or drawn depictions of the prophecies surrounding our entrance into the 5th World. The picture that the elders drew on stone show two lines, lines that show the life-path of human beings on the planet.  One path is jagged and another lifts upward in a straight line.  The Hopi foresaw that there would be a time when there would be a dividing of the Way.  One path would be dangerous and filled with chaos while another would be more steady and upward to a new kind of life.  This is as specific as the prophecy gets, but is perhaps all that we really need to know as a lesson to take from these people who have kept close to Mother Earth.

I think we are in this time of divergence now.  I think that there is time to change what road you are on.  This period I sense is not a given day or moment in time, but is a time period.  Instead of following the more rigid sense contained within Western perspectives about end times, we are like children who are given ample opportunities to learn and develop.  Each choice has its ramifications.  Make enough mistakes or missteps, and it gets harder and harder for you to get back into a more sustainable or peaceful way of being.  The picture of this rock is below.  You will see that the upper line terminates into a wavy path while the lower path, the path the Hopi seek to keep, is rooted to the earth.  They warn that there will come a time when people will be drawn from the earth, but in order to stay with the earth during its changes is critical for remaining in the progression of the worlds here.

Hopirock

The elders are clear that the depiction, as simple and straightforward as it is, is about a choice we each will have to make.  And what will that mean?  What are the ramifications of those choices?  What do the result of those choices look like?  For the Hopi, the answer is simple.  No matter what, they seek to remain with the Earth and to serve balance so that they and others will have the opportunity to continue in the spiral of our evolution as a species. Already, we are told, our use of fossil fuels are warming our atmosphere.  This, if it is correct, will have long-term effects, which will include severe weather, and the shifting of verdant regions into dry lands and dry lands, possibly, into more wet regions. But for the Hopi, it is more than just carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.  It is about a prevailing attitude in our own inner atmospheres that has helped to bring this through our collective efforts in driving automobiles, heating our homes, and building civilization.  And for everything that means, it means an impact of some kind.  We each have had a choice of what that impact would mean.  It might seem like we have no choice about where our lumber comes from, or if we use lumber from rainforests, or palm oil that we know is fueling a deforestation in parts of Indonesia, wiping away rainforest and homes for a wide range of creatures.  We know that we can choose to source our energy from wind and solar and hydro.  We can do more of this and lower our impact and that when there are enough of us who choose differently, these choices have an affect on our biosphere here.

We are getting closer to the entry into the 5th world.  It may be that all that we have done so far will be the “event” that will make it difficult for humanity to remain in the numbers here that we have thus far achieved.  But such an achievement, without keeping the balance of life in mind and action, our part can make it difficult for our story to continue here in the way it has thus far.  The thing is, we are smart enough to find ways to no longer create any more impacts on our earth and cease causing harm.  Awareness in the last few decades has grown and I remain hopeful.

I write about this because in my own experience I have had things that have tied directly into this Day of Cleansing.  That we are here at this time is fortuitous.  If we are to change, it will be because of a shift in awareness and also in action.  The world of commerce as it has stood is changing, and it needs to change much more.  The people who stood at its pinnacle were themselves hardly what I would call aware or awake individuals, but governed by their own fear and greed.  But they got in early and rose to the top with so much money and thus power and influence, that they continue to shape our world in important ways, and many do so behind the scenes in a way that is not good for our collective health, just their own limited self-interest.  We share the same earth and none of us owns it, for it is a gift.  It is not a realm to pillage, but a gift to be honored, preserved, and kept clean.  We need to put our creativity and our intelligence to the task.  We can come up with technologies that work WITH the nature of nature, not against it.  Using nature as the template, we can learn a lot from how this system had evolved. If we mimicked that nature more in our technology, we would be doing just what the Hopi have been calling for us to do, which is keeping close to the heart of the earth.

So here we are; witness the cleansing and what it means for you.  For me, it has meant a removal of the layers of dross that has been shoved down within my consciousness.  All of have this in abundance.  Most are not aware of it, but as I have said earlier, finding a way of raising awareness is a key component to becoming and evolving.  Instead of pulling away from the new, ask yourself what this change might mean, and how you can honor and support what is in your own highest.  If we all do this, we naturally support the highest for others.  I know that this might sound simplistic, but you will find that the more we work in higher dimensions of awareness and being, we naturally work in a realm of greater inclusivity, the place where life continues to be woven but in a broader scope.  It is in this larger scope that we are headed.  Let’s make that scope one that is marked by harmony, not marred by ignorance and greed.

We don’t need to make excuses for ourselves…..nor for what we suspect or feel is the right thing for us.  You don’t need to make excuses for why  you march to a different drummer or why your karma is one color while your best friend is another. It’s okay to wear what makes you happy and others not so happy.  It is their issue, not yours. 

 

Be yourself.  This is what I am actually telling myself.  Over and over for all of the times I shrank back into myself afraid of how someone would actually react or feel or say or be in the wake of me gloriously free within myself.  I am here to clean up this shite!  Old stories, old hurts, old loves, old knowing, old mysteries…..all of them, a virtual horde of mysteries from other times that my soul now says ENOUGH!  Let us now get this stuff straight!  No more bullshit.  What if the things that seem are my weakness is what will make me the strongest? What if someone being so different is what makes them fabulous? I think about growing up with closeted gays in high school…..closeted out of FEAR of being bullied, or worse, maimed or even killed.  I think about the lynch mobs….all because people are different….blacks growing up angry because of how they and their families have been treated by ever sector of the world….things are turning around some…I see it…I was walking to the tech center today between classes and thinking about how my male students are no longer afraid to be openly gay.  I say “Hooray!!!”  It makes me so happy my heart weeps.  That we have reached a place where people feel safer then they have in a very long time to just BE themselves.  What if BEING who you are has a sacred DIVINE purpose?

That is because it does. 

So some do not understand nor relate to mine.  They don’t have to.  It really isn’t their job to.  It is mine. The lifetimes of junk ends in this life….this I am clear.  So I am sorry, I can’t go to your party or be a part of your golf game or polo team.  I have stuff that is mine to work through. Selfish?  You better believe it!  Maybe for the first time in a while I do for me what me needs most.  Lonely?  It is.  But I think my soul knew that.  We are such social creatures….we really are.  And when we awaken, the thing invisible lines of connection become so much more apparent, don’t they?  The world resolves into this amazing thing turning in our heart and in the soul of the world….

 The last dragon is being slain….transformed….turned…healed….I cannot say what will result..I have remained as open as a window because I want this done as quickly as possible. The Cleansing!

Don’t make excuses for you. Love yourself.  Cherish yourself. You have all the time in the world.  People who are no longer available, well, were they really EVER available?  The only person who can truly go the distance with you is you so being on good terms with that you is pretty big.  Are you happy?  Are you at peace? Are you learning what the universe is throwing your way? Would you like to swim more and talk less, hum more and read some books?  Would you like to pick up a new hobby or read about bonobo’s in the wild or how it is that there are more neurons in your stomach than in the brain of a cat?  There is so much to know and experience for no other reason than to have been here now in this time and place, which is itself utterly unique. 

Like you. 

Enjoy the ride!

That is the title of a book written about coping with kundalini.  Today, however, I was in the studio working with my students on sculpture projects and while I was doing so there was a discussion about creativity and the brain.  This is one of my favorite topics and it has been given new life with my own awakening which has helped to highlight a good many things in regards to what happens with the body and brain in the midst of such an experience.  The topic made a turn for slightly subtle realms when one of the students wondered aloud if the experience of consciousness was beyond the body or if it was just the body.  This person was thinking or feeling it was beyond body.

We were talking about this whole connection and I said that what is really remarkable is the Left/Right brain relationship and that when we can let the left brain serve the right brain (effectively a linear processor serving a parallel processor) then we can begin to see just how amazing the brain is in creating a hologram in 3-D physical chemistry of the domain of the soul, of consciousness beyond the body.  I said consider what happens when awareness is not there at the body for an experience that is in consciousness…..it is as though it does not exist….and people will thus pooh-pooh an idea or experience they themselves have not had because they can’t feel it or “get” it at all.  And yet, the body HAS to have a way to record or measure the nonphysical experience which is in the ether, of the experience or else it is as good as not known or experienced.  So for the brain to be able to contemplate the infinite is pretty amazing.  You begin to realize the masterwork involved in the chemistry necessary to make up what we feel inside our skins.

Within the Light Body or what the Hindus call the Pranamayakosha, there are these nonphysical layers and within these layers there are different vibrations of energy that move through them.  This light body is electromagnetic and is fed by iron rich blood pumping through the body to create a weak but very real electrical and electromagnetic field.  When I read an aura it is courtesy of this field which displays the information as a stream of light and color around the body….again…in layers.  It is like having a slew of bodies one inside the other.  This body will record everything that has ever happened to you in the same way that the brain does.  Anything that you have had a hard time allowing to flow through you and has gotten “caught” emotionally will lodge and create a block.  Over time these blocks can be many.  Releasing these blocks leads to liberation and freedom from the emotions that served to create them in the first place.  Instead of denying emotion, they are instead felt fully and can be released through a range of methods which can be as simple as movement (Qi Gung worked for me), shaking (learned by an animal behaviorist by watching how animals shed trauma), reexperiencing the emotion, body massage or deep tissue manipulation, as well as Reiki and Reiki-like methods for moving energy.  But however the methods, the effects are permanent and leave the self increasingly free from the bonds of certain stuck emotions.  As these things are often shed chakra by chakra, they also go layer by layer….so think of the light body as a house with seven levels and seven rooms (chakras) within each level.  Or an onion with seven layers.  By doing this clearing, you also optimize the brain and body connection as well.  While kundalini brings wild swings as a result of latent karmic energy in the chakras or light body, these swings are less and less as you move through the process of casting off the dross.

My experience as a result of having to deal with the dark night of the soul, which for me was the revving up of kundalini to extremely high levels along with the triggering of some sort of adrenal response in my body, resulted in a painful six month ordeal where my adrenals were stuck in the on position.  This experience forced me to learn how to deal with fear in a while new way. It was the most arduous experience I have to date experienced.  It was also one of the most illuminating, too. I had to work to get my chemistry balanced the right way.  Along the way I learned how the body is a mirror of our feelings and just how much of a choice every single emotion is.  It underscored just how important it was that we choose healthy perspectives in living.  If we feel like a victim, this will be very disempowering and the body will follow suite PERFECTLY.  Being able to gain some measure of control over the body and what it does is huge for helping illustrate the clear connection between mind/brain and body chemistry.  I can make my body chemistry change ON A DIME now.  As a result, it pays for me to remain in a state of mind that is most conducive to bliss and a good flow of positive energy.  Instead of negatives reinforcing, its positives.

This is where developing a way of dealing with positive energy in an ongoing fashion is very helpful.  Perhaps you take something off the shelf….like yoga or a form of meditation.  For me, kundalini showed me the path WAS meditation.  Most of what I do in my day-to-day is like living a prayer.  This prayer is about the highest and best.  It is exciting because there were times when I could not imagine living like this.  There was, I think, just too much chaotic energy.  But all of this is a process and I can have my days.  the intense adrenal burn of kundalini three and a half years ago was very hard on my body.  Some suggested adrenal burn-out.  Time has shown that I still have reasonable adrenal function despite what I went through.

There is a very real mind/body connection with us as humans. This is no less obvious than in awakening.  How amazingly well the body will respond to our thoughts is a wonderful teacher for you if you can observe.  If you feel bad you will learn that its you who is doing it.  It’s not you being at the mercy of your body (unless you have a longstanding physiological problem that prohibits you from creating some portion of the necessary chemistry for some reason). This is, to my mind, the beginning at least, of learning how to be the master instead of the slave, the victor, not the victim.

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