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A little handmade humor for your day, courtesy of WTI! 

The Way is not in the sky; the Way is in the heart.

The Buddha

I know that for many who seek enlightenment, a better way, a more authentic life, this most often means reading widely and trying to see if you can pry out the gold from our storied past.  I was myself a seeker since age nine when I felt like there was something more.  I could not quite put my finger on it, but over the years this sense has led me down many different roads, but all of them have led back to me right here and now.

When I awoke and my blood ran with a sacred fire that began to transform me from the moment it began to move in me, I have been part of an accelerated process of becoming.  What I have seen, though, is that most people treat this condition as rare, unique.  I want to dispell this notion and explain that you do not need a system or even information on any of this.  You do not need kundalini meditation or yoga or special breathing, mantras, or any of it.  You don’t.  You do not need arcana, or ancient texts to get you there.  Chances are that the books that do speak of it, you wont “get” unless you already have it.  I have observed that ancient Christian texts that explain this process of awakening very well are complete mysteries to the scholars who study them.  By scholars I mean the likes of Elaine Pagels and Bart Ehrman, for a few.  The problem is that what is being described is itself a nonphysical reality so any effort at trying to describe or explain it will either be so basic that there is no information contained, or it will be clothed in symbol and metaphor.  The truth in most great teachers’ teachings about this is right out in the open and most do not get it.  Even Jesus laments that his own disciples didn’t get it.

Reaching the infinite, cosmic consciousness, or enlightenment, is not something that we were ever designed to reach by way of methods, and it is one reason why I do not offer many, if at all. Why?  Because it is just so incredibly simple.  Awakening is itself a release of what is holding you back from your natural state.  As it edges into your life, it becomes a sustaining fire of transformation as you and everyone else who has ever had this has experienced.  What we are undoing is centuries of programming that has conditioned us all to focus the bulk of our awareness through our rational minds.  This awakening is itself the result of awakening both the current and the hemisphere in the body that aligns with the current of energy that we are each holding back in our lives.  This current is known as the kundalini shakti in the Hindu tradition, but is highly aligned to the right brain and with nonrational and nonlinear thinking.  While the rational mind can be a good servant in this process, many people believe (Ken Wilber one of them it seems) that we go at this rationally.  But this is itself a mistake.  The rational mind is here to serve the right brain, the more feminine aspect of our consciousness.  Why? Good question. This is what is being called the Divine Feminine, and it is also the Holy Ghost (no matter how much some Christians would like to raise doubt that this is somehow a “false” spirit—no—it is quite real alright!)

We are beautifully made.  We have two capacities within us that handle a broad range of processing of experience.  The rational and linear left brain excels at making lists, making priorities, and seeing details.  It is, I content, the seat of the earthly ego that identifies  itself as an individual entity in its environment. An over-reliance on this part of our awareness and inner workings leads to a feeling of separation (leading to alienation, too). We are made to exist in stasis, in a delicate kind of range of balance in our physiological functioning.  It is all a matter of balance.  So just as an over-reliance on the left brain egoistic sides of our being can make us feel estranged and alone, there is another side to us that sees the other side of our world.  Sadly, THIS part of us has been largely submerged.  If it hadn’t, we would all see the connections indwelling in all things less as some mystic woo-woo but as a tangible verifiable fact.  No woo-woo needed!

Awakening, or bouts of nonduality all have at their core an experience of an erasure of that which seems to make us separate.  This is because at a certain level, everything is connected, but most people never reach this level of awareness.  It is, however, existing right beside your linear processor of yours.  Since developing this concept based on my own personal experience, I have found that a lot has come out that supports this notion.  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who I have written about a few times before, has both a book and a TED talk describing an experience she had of her left brain shutting down after the had a stroke one morning.  Want to guess what she experienced as a result of this?  She experienced a state of enlightenment.  She describes it perfectly in her TED talk.

Enlightenment is not something that we should have to work at.  Enlightenment is a natural state that has been suppressed.  But as a result of this, our race here on this planet have created all sorts of processes and methods to try and trigger it.  We have all kinds of esoterica that has been created over centuries that all point to it.  But at the end of the day it is about one simple thing: releasing the feminine aspect of consciousness (as we define it) from its cognitive cage in our awareness.  Doing this sets into motion a change in how the body functions. It changes HOW you feel.  this reinforces different modes of behavior, too.

The physiological changes that take place in the body are well known and observable.  It leads to better health, better cognition, and most often the awakening of latent abilities and seemingly miraculous happenings. What I write about in my book Waking The Infinite is how our physiology is actually connected, tuned in directly to events happening around us.  I know; you might think I am talking about the Law of Attraction. Not really.  To be absolutely correct, I am uncovering a way by which we can live where the rate of manifestation can be increased many fold.  I am not suggesting that we will get more things, more stuff; I am showing a way by which the self can be arranged so that when you are in the flow with your higher self and when you can clear away the energy blocks, it is possible to see events so uncanny that they defy description.  These happen ALL THE TIME in my life.  This is not some weirdo’s manifesto, but is, I observed, tied into what the quantum physicists say we cannot do (because there is no proof) which is to link from the atomic level of “weirdness” to the human-scaled level of experience.  What happens in the weird wild world of the quantum universe can happen in our world, and in the book I show you how this is done.  To do it requires that you change, to become all that you can be.  Then, just as Jesus said, when you ask the mountain to move, it will move.

We are releasing the very block that each of us have placed in our emotional lives that keep the waters of “she” dammed up.  This is the fluid part of us, the part that can see vastness in a moment, and see the interconnectivity in all things.  The rational mind cannot, will not, do this.  And those who try wind up grasping a corpse.

When you consider that enlightenment is releasing a cognitive block that allows awareness of something long hidden to flow into conscious awareness, you can perhaps begin to understand or see how the self needs to arrange itself in order to best accommodate this change.  Many people struggle with it, and the more they try to be rational with it, the more they struggle.  You can see the evidence of these types, and some do a very good job of it, but they are taking something entirely without limit and trying to fit it into neat cognitive boxes.

You can comb and tease through this field gently and get all kinds of amazing ideas, concepts, discoveries, yes, and they will become the mountain of 10,000 things….all physical phenomenon, creations that are part of our being here.  Each important as markers for where we are as individuals and as a species.  Without being able to abide with this rich sense of Presence that is the energy that is in all things, doing this may be limited.

The first year of my awakening I had what I describe as being taken by the energy down into the world of the subatomic.  It was itself an amazing journey, one that showed how a very basic form of matter could turn itself from matter into energy, basically changing its form.  It were these incredibly small particles, I was told, that formed everything.  These
“particles” though were themselves conscious.  They formed aggregations of themselves in amazingly immense and vast ways that create matter, events, and were the things that our thoughts ride upon.  These things, whatever they were or are, were like a key to understanding all of matter.  What was most interesting was how they behaved: they moved from particle to wave and this I was told was VERY important.  When I looked into physics, like what Einstein was dealing with, there was little talk about any of this. I suspect that this is why Einstein’s theory of Relativity fails to help us come up with a unified field theory…..which if its on the mark, it should do.  But it doesn’t.  I soon found that quantum theory was explaining a lot more, which is how matter is both particle and wave.  This is important because in a way, consciousness is this way and it is the dance of our two sides of the yin and yang.  One is limited (particle) which is the left brain and the other is not.  In fact, this “other” (feminine) has the capacity to create sheer miracles.  In physical life, the feminine is capable of nurturing two particles that merge into something that is greater than the sum of their parts, which is a new life.  What happens on the physical level of our animal nature is itself a reflection of what happens in consciousness, but at another level of dimension of experience (meaning that it is not literally the same but approximate or similar).  Thus we have the yin (feminine) and the yang (masculine) in the Taoist tradition and the Shakti/Shiva in the Hindu tradition.  And every other tradition has aspects of this contained within it. This was possible because I had merged these two forces running inside of me. The more I merged them in bliss in my body, the more this material would come.  These were in pitched states of intense meditative focus.  I became  hyper-aware.Turns out that the Vedas actually describe how people often are able to SEE into the world of the impossibly small, in documents that describe very well the concept of the atom, for example.  Thing is, I am not a Hindu.  I do not need faith or belief.  I ONLY need to be HUMAN.  People!  HUMAN!  WE ARE ONE.  🙂  (I am beginning to feel like Dr. Bronner in his soap label sermons!)

I once had a friend explain that I felt like I was “Waaaay out there!” but in truth, I am incredibly present.  This is because the missing ingredient, the “feminine” in me was now moving and merging with its counterpart in my body, which is just as kundalini is said to do.  It is also what Jesus described when he said “I am one with the Mother and Father.”  Yes, he said “Mother and Father” many times as verified in apocrypha and in the Nag Hammadi scrolls, documents dug up in the deserts of Egypt in 1945 and which were fully translated in the early 1970’s.  These are new (old) stories that have managed to survive the book burnings that took place in the wake of the Nicean Council that was intended to determine what the dogma and the books were going to be that we would later call the Bible.  Sadly, the truth was made into heresy.  But regardless of what did happen, the little secret here is that no matter who you are or what belief or system you are into, when this comes, unless you are dead, you will feel this very sensual rise of energy that feels like the embrace of TWO in one (Christ or Cosmic Consciousness as the child of their energetic union).  Now as I write this, understand, there is no man nor woman there.  These are forces in our very physiology that causes one to feel this way.  It is intelligent, yes, and its movement will change your life.

In every situation, whether it is traceable or not, what stirs awakening is a letting go of that which held back the waters of this experience.  There is nothing that you need to know.  Like a baby, you are programmed for this.  It is in your DNA, it is in your blood.  It in fact runs in your body even as your consciousness has blocked it out.

What is happening to us is itself how our feelings inhibit the production of those chemical triggers that sustain the fire of awakening in us.  This is NOT just some cosmic energy.  It is ALL of us, all the way down to the calcium in our bones and to the tremor of prana lighting us up.  When you are able to release the emotional material that is serving to inhibit this physiological shift in you, awakening is itself only a matter of time. I know: there are centuries worth of people who have spoken of only the righteous “getting” this.  Bullshit!  The ones who “get” this are those who have in some measure been honest or who have helped to release something deeper within, something that they may have suppressed for a long time.  Some of it may not even make sense for the very fact that this suppressed material DOESN’T make sense.  This is part of our irrational selves.  When something has been shoved down inside of us because its too hard to bear or look at, it forms the corpus of blocks in our bodies, both physical and etheric.  There are traditions built on aiding in releasing these blocks.

What can trigger this is broad for the simple reason that our emotional material that is suppressed is broad.  In some cases, people do not identify what just  happened to cause it, only that something came loose.  Maybe it was the twig that broke that caused it.  Sometimes we ripen by ways of simple things, less like science and more like poetry.

In some cases, it is a simple willingness to stop rationalizing and allow awareness to return to its root.  Sometimes a chakra cleansing exercise might be enough, and this most certainly does release blocked material.  In some cases really strong emotions can unblock material.  There are a LOT of people describe how intense emotions were felt just prior to their awakenings. Sometimes strong emotions did it.  I had a twin soul (as they are called) who described a dream she had about six months before we awoke together where she was standing looking out across the world from a great height and a man walked up to her and asks her somewhat chidingly while the depths of the energy began to stir, “Do you remember?  Are you ready for it?”  She said she did, and that she was.

When Buddha awoke, he was not doing much of anything except meditating under that tree.  THAT is how simple all of this is.  As a result, Buddha sought to develop a method for his followers to attain what he had attained, which was essentially a copy of what he had been doing.  This is called vipisanna meditation.  I have a family friend who awoke using this method.  It involves sustained quiet, mindfulness, and meditation, a state of being that most people almost never allow themselves.  Normally, we are so focused outwardly that it never occurs to us just who or what we are.  This method can help with this.

Will it do it for you?  It is hard to say.  I can say with absolutely certainty that what helped me awaken was letting go of a long-standing sense of guilt with the universe that I was not doing enough in my life.  When I let that go, it was as if a log had been dislodged in my heart and I began feeling different immediately.  This log was itself a block for any energy moving in my system.  Who knows what sorts of blocks you have, but there are a lot in most humans (hundreds of thousands from big to small and in every center of energy in the body from foot to crown).

This feeling, once allowed enough room in me, continued to grow over a six month period until my process grew into a full-fledged “awakening.”  I suspect that the reason why my awakening was gradual was that I had a lot of material in the way, a lot of suppressed material that had to be slowly teased out of my consciousness.  Once that was done, the fire rose up through me.  Everything that you could say about my awakening went against what the scrolls and documents all say.

So what do I do?

You realize who you are without the coverings, what some call illusion.  I resist calling it that because I like to call it what it is (like a proper Tantric would) which is that it is a CREATION.  If you see these things as creations you see perhaps that you can create something different!  You can live and create in a wildly different way! My own creative life has been completely renovated in so many ways based on my own awakening.    WHat you created a year ago will be different now.  But to understand what it is that you are creating, you also have to examine the beliefs that underpin those actions/creations, for they are surely born out of that kind of foundation. But this is where things get juicy and wonder-filled!

You have to get to the part of you that dreams, that is the “secret” you, the part of you that you feel within you that is not subject to outwardly looking into the world.  It is the part that knows there is more but is softer, more afraid of speaking the truth for fear of how it might sound.  It is the wellspring of our magical selves.  It has been suppressed and called illegitimate for centuries.  It is our source-point and wellspring of wonder and awe.  It is so strong, so powerful, that it alone is capable of taking you apart, piece by piece and putting you back together again.  It alone has the awareness and the intelligence.  The rational mind cannot do this.

Just look at our world and you can see how we have teetered on the edge of destroying the planet and ourselves all due to our short-sightedness, courtesy of our rational minds that are unable to glimpse the bigger picture. It is also part of our imaginations and our creative selves.  If you look at how artists have been treated in our society, you will see how lopsided our values have been.  We prefer to build bombs that are ten million dollars a piece instead of fostering creativity as a nurturing source for culture.  It seems we are about as busy destroying culture as we are in trying to build it!  And of course, artists are often seen as weirdos, freaks, or just “out there.”  The reason for this is that most rationally minded people never bother to get enough into the mind of the creative self to every see and feel what its like to live there. We say artists starve and so its not a good idea to be one, and yet, its because we so undervalue the creative that we are ourselves choking off culture in all of our communities.  We cheer when an arts organization gets a grant for $50,000.00 without ever considering how much we put to armaments on a per capita basis.  If we knew the difference we might blush or grow white! I’ll tell you that in 2009 the per capita spending was $2,141.00 for our military spending Source. What do you think the per capita spending is on arts, do you think?  Yeah.  You get the idea.  With bases all over the world and our hand in everyone’s pie, it is no wonder things are so expensive.  Time to be a light house.  Time to realize that our involvement in the world is not really spreading democracy as we have been told, but is only serving the military industrial complex and those who stand to make the most money from it.  It might seem cynical, but it is true. We spend 22 billion a year to secure our borders.  It is something to think about, really see and understand in terms of where our priorities are as a nation and species.

The world of energy is in all things and as a result, the energy residing in a mouse in the deserts of Mexico can be felt and discerned from a great distance for the simple fact that energy, having no mass, can be anywhere and everywhere.

Knowing and abiding with who and what you are is not as easy as it sounds.  Inside of all of us is also lurking our skeletons within that depth of being.  It is as though the cabinet door to Narnia, a magical world, is first populated by our horrors that we have each put in there in just such a way that they also keep us from delving too deeply within it to see that beyond our skeletons is a deep blue world of wonder.  It is this part of us that those who awaken discover once the skeletons are dealt with.  In just the same way that we can see the world through our physical senses, we also have a part of us, the opposite and hidden side of us, that “Shakti” lurking that also has senses.  We each have these, and they are tied into our etheric or pranic bodies.  The world of energy is in all things and as a result, the energy residing in a mouse in the deserts of Mexico can be felt and discerned from a great distance for the simple fact that energy, having no mass, can be anywhere and everywhere.  Those who awaken describe psychic abilities, which are a natural result of a more conscious awareness of the flow of this energy within them.  This energy can itself be anywhere and it forms the basis for all psi abilities.  They might all SEEM different, but they are at their core based on the flow of energy that can be and is everywhere.  These are what are called siddhis by the Hindu yogis.  This is not a Hindu thing; it is a human thing….be you Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Native American, Eskimo, or Aborigine.

This is also why some can awaken by the simplest means.  You turn, you feel something drop and boom.  You are a goner!  Krishnamurti, identified as the “World Teacher” by the likes of Blavatski and the Theosophists didn’t have it.  He dissolved his “Order Of The Star” because he knew better.  Whatever it was, he didn’t have it.  It took years before it struck him.  And perhaps some might argue that those Theosophists had an intuition about that U.G. Krishnamurti….and perhaps they DID see something….or perhaps it served to help him to examine himself a little more and ask what IS this thing they think I have that I KNOW I don’t have?  He met with those who DID have it.  One of them said he wasn’t ready for it.  U.G., being prone to indignation and arrogance, became angry at this man and his dismissal of U.G.  Years later, when asked how others could “get it,” he replied, “You don’t want this.”  Those who are not ready for how it rearranges your inner furniture will have a very hard time of it.  You have to let go and let this thing just take you apart.  You have to be honest with yourself, brutally honest, and let it have its way with you.  “She” is always right!

You are using your earthbound consciousness to form a kind of bridge with a higher order awareness that is at once a part of you and a part of your higher self, which you have largely been out of contact with for most of your life. This bridge requires a certain “arrangement” within the self, and it CANNOT be done by way of the rational mind. The rational mind is limited.  It is like seeking to hook up 4 million volts with a wire that is rated for 40 amps.  Silly, right?  So you use the part of you that IS capable of dealing with this, and it is the irrational and unlimited and also the dreamy side of who you are. Two wires are now joined in your awareness and the thing that brought these wires together was what was removed that was getting in the way of conducting a circuit of continuity from one end of you to the other….a microcosm for how the universe is made: we are all made to be connected, tied together.  All of creation is like this.  We as the silly humans are just now catching on to what the Native Americans have said, the aboriginal peoples, who have explained that everything is part of a web of life.  It is so because they felt it, saw it, and knew it.  Sitting Bull spoke about how he would find answers from listening to meadow larks.  Now that might strike you as crazy, but not if you live in the world the awakened do!

The charm of the world emerges in all of this.

And so here you are wondering what this is.  It is so simple.  It is who and what you are but most of it has been suppressed. Its not hard to understand what it is.  Look at our societies down through time.  Look at how the feminine has been suppressed, marginalized, swept under the rug.  The story of Mary Magdalene and Jesus was itself the subject of a lot of disinformation. She was labelled a prostitute by a pope early on in the process.  The church has since admitted that there was no evidence for this.  The Gnostic texts describe how Jesus says “I am one with the Mother and the Father.”  A paternalistic tradition followed in his wake and sought to take the Mother out of the picture.  And this Mother is the Mother that lies in our consciousness…..not as a literal anima, but as a quality of consciousness.  This is why most male teachers who awakened also softened during their years.  Buddha was himself angular and sharp, he was part of a warrior lineage that laid control over vast swaths of land and made themselves kings by their own decree.  But this man is shown as soft and round, not the strong angular fellow he was who also wore a beard.  He is shown sitting on a lotus in his bliss.  It is because of the flow of this field of energy in him that did this.  It will also do it to you.  And the more you resist the “her” the more you will make this process maddening.  You simply have to trust it, what Christians say, “give it up to God.”  If you can trust this larger awareness, it will stop seeming like an outsider and will connect you into the larger realm of your awareness so that you will cease being a Balkanized consciousness.

You will be knitted back, each block released, each misgiving let go, you will feel more whole, and more able to send the kit of your earthbound self into sheer infinity.  Most people are just not ready for this fire, so they resist.  But once awakened, its going to keep working on you.  By letting go and allowing this thing to work on its own, you can be here and let this larger part of you work on the harder stuff.  This is nothing short of learning how to merge with your higher being ongoing and in a contiguous way.  And most people will simply not like this approach because its too simple.  The problem is that every method is meant to help you FEEL a certain way.  This is why teachers create methods.  But what happens when you don’t get what it is they are trying to get you to feel into?  You move from method to method.  Ultimately, you will learn it is not about method but about simply being, of releasing that little something that knows itself as part of everything else, that part that is anchored in your right brain that is able to glimpse, see, and make connections within with this “everything” that is nonduality.  This can be scary for some people for how unlimited it is.  A drop of “her” in your awareness is enough to do it.  One drop contains the whole, and YOU are part of this whole.

So meditation sometimes does it.  Going within and being quiet and looking inward can help.  But realize, many people try to go within and get quiet and most often wind up situating themselves inwardly FEELING themselves but while looking out with their senses.  You have to go into your FEELING self and look outwardly through THAT part of yourself.  We are not used to this, but this is where the infinite lies.  The lens of our energetic awareness is within our feeling selves, not our rational selves. We communicate to the universe through feeling, not through the rational.  the rational factual material SERVES the creative aspect alive in every atom, cell, and world.  But you have to know how to turn your awareness inward.  You can’t sit and then just be aware of all the noise on the street and the itch on your butt and the fly in the room.  When the awareness of this gateway becomes obvious to you, all of those things wont be distractions.  They will simply be a part of all phenomenon because by then, the world will begin to feel like one big BUZZ of energy.  The Taoists said “Turn The Lantern Of Your Awareness Inward.”  The reason for this, as described in the “Secret Of The Golden Flower” is that  we bleed our energetic awareness outward through our sensory selves.  It isn’t like we have a limited amount of energy, though.  It is due to there being little awareness of the inner illumination.  Building up some energy within can cause things to happen.  Building energy inwardly is like striking a match and then having a sustained flame within.

This is not all there is.  Just as there is a physical world, there is the soul of the physical world, too, the inside of things.  This awareness will bring you an awareness or a capacity for this awareness of this side to the physical.  But to do this you need to really turn your energy inward instead of outward.  FEEL your energy.  Sit with your energy and be quiet.  Get really quiet. You might have to do this when you go to sleep because sometimes you really do have to get THAT quiet and still within.  Our inner chatter is so deafening that it drowns out the awareness of our own energy.  But the energy itself is the thing that will liberate you.  Keep it flowing within instead of flowing outward.  It is no surprise that many methods seek to have your look within.

Something that is very simple that will help you to feel your energy more and more is breathing using an alternating nostril breathing that I have used and have had my students use in art school.  It is incredibly calming for those who are willing to let its magic work on them.  It involves closing one nostril with your finger and breathing slowly in and then out four times through that one nostril.  Then, you alternate to the other nostril and do this four times, alternating all the way.  What you want to be able to do is to have your thought chatter slow or stop as you place all awareness on your breathing.  Breath work has an amazing capacity to stop all thought, and stopping this chatter is one way to help you to get in touch with your energy and to know yourself.  Do this exercise as many times as you need in order to find your thoughts calm.  Then, the process is so simple most miss it: FEEL how you feel without thinking it or trying to analyze it.  It is so simple, it escapes most people.

It is here that the source of all magic lies.  Our notion of magic, though, has been subject to a kind of mythologizing process.  Magic is actually real, but we have simply choked it off.  We have instead made our leaders or our god men and women do amazing deeds while we have languished because of original sin or some other reason that has served to keep the fire of being at bay. When you awaken, when you think of something, it has a way of happening.  Buddha, upon awakening thought how he no longer wanted to fast, that he needed to eat.  Just then a woman walked by with a bowl of rice and asked if he would like it.  I have no doubt that this story sought to tell the story of the “synchronistic” event within awakening.  Jesus also was trying to teach his followers to rely on this aspect of their being teaching them how upon awakening when they ask the mountain to move, it will move.  Those who have awakened often describe how their lives are made up of one event after another like this.  I did all the research for my book Waking The Infinite using this method.  It takes some getting used to, but it works amazingly well. It requires you to think and be different. It means letting go of control so that this “other” can enter and begin manifesting in just the right way.  It is this other side of us that this can happen, and it can happen each day.

How many times have I allowed these events into my life, entirely impossible events where my finger plucks a random book off the shelf in the library without looking at its title only to find a passage that speaks directly to what it is I am writing in my book.  Listening deeper, I have followed inner promptings to go places and to do things a certain way, never sure what it all means, only to find myself standing in front of the source I needed for my next chapter.  This is why some people were branded witches, I am convinced, because their lives seemed to be charmed.  Of course we have also been suspicious of women who knew how to practice old methods of herbal medicine and many men drove them out of it by branding them witches and having them killed.  Most were likely devout Christians, even!  But the women who were in touch with their own source of magic often had unusual things taking pace all around them.  If they asked for it, it just came.  Since they may have not bought into a more mainline kind of Christianity, many would have assumed that they had some pact with some being other than the angry and punishing father God.  All the while, it is all so much more subtle than this.

The energy that flows through us that makes all of this possible flows when the rational mind steps aside.  When the ego is pushed to the back of us, the flow increases.  When this flow has been the strongest, this is when the magical events in my uncanny life have increased.  Every time.  It is a corollary that I not just see each and every time, but something that I allow when I let my mind stop being so limited.  “Dream big, Parker” it whispers, and when I do, the flow within meets and mirrors a flow outwardly that is the same. When it happens, it all seems so impossible…..and yet it happens over and over in such a way that there is no mistaking it. When there is nothing inwardly (a block) that competes with the thought, it can manifest very quickly.  It seems like magic, but it is the forgotten aspect of living a life that now have the awareness of our fluid Shakti selves alive in us.  It is also the channel that connects each of us to ever larger realms of consciousness.  What is felt as a flow of energy is like a creek by your door.  Following it, it leads to still larger creeks and eventually, to rivers and then to a vast limitless ocean.  This is an ocean of bliss.  It is what we have all been waiting for.

Come, the ocean is beckoning!  It is simple.  It really is.  Overcoming the patterning and old habits of being the victim in life, or being powerless, or not mattering, or being inconsequential, or any of the thousands of stories we tell ourselves, will all in time, at least potentially, we swept aside.  For each of us, it is a matter of our free will.  Can’t nothing come up against THAT force!  So make sure you are ready and able to let go the desire to control.  Let go of the bank and let yourself float, flow.  It really is innevitable.  I am only here as a reminder.

Beyond all methods, beyond all our supposed knowledge, we are each as simple in awakening as a flower is before the sun.  We GOT this!  It is WHO and WHAT we are.  Don’t let anyone else try to make you think or feel otherwise!  I came here to spread what was utterly ubiquitous where I am from.  I am here to spread in whatever way I can, the “heaven” that is locked up within us.  But admission to this “heaven” means getting rid of your shame, all of it.  Thus, everything that we are suddenly moves from seeming dirty and broken-seeming to glorious and perfectly made for meeting awakening.  It is a 180° turn in our awareness.  It was here all along, right in front of us, we just could not see it for what it was.

It is the essence of what Tantra seeks to teach at its core.  It really isn’t about sex.  It is about feeling bliss in such a way that there is no shame and where there is no overemphasis on the sexual.  Our entire BEINGS are lit on fire with the bliss that makes us incandescent.  How do I explain how what was once base energy is allowed to be transmuted….but also released so that the whole body feels energy that is not verging on the orgasmic. How do you allow yours whole body become flooded, engulfed by this sexual-feeling bliss like the flooding of the Nile, and not let it cause a stir in your beyond feeling marvelous?  The blocks, like rocks in the river, cause the perfect flow of this bliss to become rough water.  If enough are there, then we get rapids and white water.  It all happens when the channels for this bliss narrow.  Too much is trying to get through and we all look to the rough water and ooh and ahh and seek those places and wind up upside down and lying on the bank!  But letting this flow all through you unhindered without needing to make it into anything is an important step.  It is how we heal and transmute.  The mere presence of this energy is itself healing.  It teaches you how to handle incredible bliss without losing your head. Like riding the waters of a swift river, you have to keep your head about you.  I can admit to having lost my head a time or two in such waters and it was not pretty, but I also did not drown.  I got back up and continued on.

Imagine if people felt this good all the time.  Imagine how quickly our world would change.  Oh, no doubt, there would be the rational types who might be in hospitals, but there would be enough of us to help them through it.  Right?

The path through this is one of self honesty. Until you can practice this, moving through your process can be difficult.  I know.  All of the material that I KNEW lay within me that was unresolved was always the source of all my troubles and failings.  I cannot begin to tell you how those blocks served to limit how I was able to see.  And once awakening comes, it is important to realize that this force in you has the ability to heal you completely if you let it.  Opening yourself up to your own truth, listen and allow your rational mind to count all of the things that need to be identified that are your worst problems.  It will happily go about this task and deliver it up to you perfectly appointed and arranged on a silver platter (but don’t let it do any more than that 😉 )

Seeking healers in awakening will often be limiting.  You will find that each healer will often, not always, mirror just where you are.  There are healers out there who in subtle ways serve limitation and thus our healing is also limited.  In some ways they can open our eyes, in other ways the limits that they accept are the same limits that we are not aware of ourselves.  It is very rare to be able to find healers who are not limited.  I was lucky to find this, and you have to be ready to seek the highest, to not put any conditions on finding a healer or teacher who is sufficiently ahead of you and healed that you have the chance to heal a lot yourself.  Sometimes we can get very blessed.

A teacher who KNOWS how to parrot a teaching but who does not live it will never be succesful at getting students coming up to embody those teachings.  WHY?  Because beyond the knowledge, there is BEING.  Did you really think this was all about knowledge?  Silly, it is about being.  All great “teachers” are able to simply remind you of who you are beyond your filters and lenses when the “student” is ready.  This is why a glance is often more powerful than any conveyance of information.

You are simply here to remember.  Are you ready?

665e5-firebuddhaface
you
who do not know me
I
who am self-made
inviolate
mystery
bearer of fire
heavenly bliss
through me
not because of me
in me
out of me
flows
the sacred fire of a hundred lost deserts
the water from a million silent jungles
who do not give up their secrets easily.

I know where I have been and no one else speaks for me
you would not believe the story even if I tried

My hips have struck the chord
atop the temples of Palenque
the memory of my fathers
the laughter of my daughters
the blood of my soul
the song of my kind
breathes into my frame
moving me beyond time
the sacred place
redeemed
found
self made,
inviolate,
turning ’round
until I am here.

Buddha points to earth

Everything resolves back into Now.

The pants drying on the line
speaking in riddles
beyond this time
flowers open and speak riddles
sung backward in coded sequences
you have to be quick to catch
clouds turn dark and thunder rolls.
The cat turns over and says,
licking herself,
“I taste good, but you should see interstellar space…”
“Oh, believe me, I know…”
Squinting she says, “belief is not required…”

The house shakes and cracks
as I release that old poison
like ghosts leaving a cemetery
you know how it goes; scary as hell until you realize its all in how you
look at it.
Their forms flee laughing
tricksters
it is all in how you see
and seeing is a choice, you see.
All of this
a wonderful choice
and many have forgot
as fingers wag outwardly
I wonder what journey will bring them
to that vast sea.
To know
is not for me.

The pants on the line say,
“You bring it all with you
like bishops and beliefs
random scraps
and boundless stupidity
you bring it
all of it;
tsk,
tsk,
you thought you would be changed.”
Something tells me we already are.

Buddha sits, one eyebrow raised,
a smile parting his lips
a smile I think will part this world someday
will part me surely
as wave after wave is allowed
so much forgotten
abandoned
like old shipwrecks
you just have to get out and let it go
and in so doing
smile
and laugh
at the utter absurdity of it all…
Pants smile and say,
“Now you are getting it;
abandon everything so you know what you got!”

The thunder in the world
the thunder in me
makes me incomprehensible
I have played others’ stories of me
always resulting in illusion
distraction
delusion
sadness
and loss.
Hands that clutch
keeping me in the fight
while I wonder why it even ever needed to be a fight.
“Illusion makes people like that mad…..the whole world is that way….but interstellar space is better than any fish”
so says the cat peering around the house.
“You gonna let me in or am I going to have to call in my homie troops? I’m kinda hungry.”

It is time to let in the cat
lay down
and wax multidimensional.
It wont be too much longer
that I too will be a goner.

“Abandon! Abdandon!” a sattva says with her wild eyes ablaze
Another points to earth in that knowing gaze
this old house shakes and shudders
now in joy
for
what
comes
next.

665e5-firebuddhafaceIf you know  what I write about, you know a lot of it has been centered on how to escape the maze of karma.  Before my awakening, karma was one of those heady concepts that seemed over my head and out of my control.  The cycle of reincarnation, destiny, journey of the soul, those kinds of things.  And yet, when awakening took hold in me the force which some want to call kundalini had the very effect of removing the karma by removing not just the blocks that kept the energy from flowing, but the conceptual biases, the beliefs, which had kept those knots and blocks and  the karmas in place.

We are all littered with little programs that run in our awareness which are the result of different beliefs or biases we have taken on in one form or another and these in the aggregate serve to form what our karma is all about.  Yes, karma is defined as “action” in its most simplest form, and while this is a very good way to explain it, my experience has been that this action is the result of certain positions, ideas or beliefs about HOW we think things work….and for the negative karmas, that means that we feel the world works against us not for us (and then this notion serves to guide our actions henceforth) for example.  Beneath all of this is a sense which is in all people that has served to remove us from our own divine natures, a kind of deeper notion or bias about how we feel things are that isn’t really true but becomes true because of how the law of attraction works; you create your reality and then the character of that reality can serve to attract others with similar qualities of energy and consciousness and feeling.

Instead of just feeling our divinity, we have allowed this clutter of  programs to proliferate that get in the way of our own purer awareness of what we are in our root, primordial, or authentic selves. The Zen teachers who tell the story of the student staring into a pond that has a lot of pond scum obscuring its depths is THE image of what I am talking about.  We can’t see the depths because we have too much in the way to even see it.  Remove that, and the view begins to clarify.  The curious thing is that when you do this, you also wind up seeing into the rest of creation from the inside out.  For people so used to using just their physical senses, this is nothing short of an epiphany.  And for most people who do awaken, all of this is a bit of a process so that one day one layer is removed while on another day another layer is removed.  Slowly, or perhaps quickly depending on how you define “slowly” and “quick,” your view begins to change.  You still see the same view, but your awareness has changed.  What has changed is that you no longer have these beliefs and ideas that serve to keep you from seeing the real deal.  the other thing that you might know about me is that I do little about creating systems and methods and more about speaking into the essence of a given thing since that is where I think I am best able to reach the problem or issue in its origins, its essence.  But for this entry, I am going to make an exception.

So let’s talk about seeing what is there instead of seeing what we think we see (or what we feel we see).

I have known many people who have each helped me to understand how this works in the world.  At the time, the experiences with these people were all hard and this was learned at great cost because it meant that I experienced how their schisms affected me, but that also meant that I got to see some things up close, which has its benefits. What I had was a front row seat watching how people were interpreting what it was I was doing (which was effectively reading into my actions their own interpretation of what was going on inside of me).  If I worked long hours, this meant I was actually wanting to escape my family in order to work in my business.  I didn’t care about my family and preferred my work instead.  Now I know how I feel.  This is not a big mystery.  I could hear all of these sorts of things being said and I know just how far off the mark they are.  This was really more about HOW someone felt things were instead of how they actually WERE.  Truth was, had this person actually KNOWN how I felt, she would have used that as her guiding principle instead of making all kinds of assumptions that were incidentally factual, but in reality not true.

To add more depth to this picture I will say that I was all along expressing how I felt.  When we have our illusions wrapped around us, we literally become blinded by these things that we are so invested in that they seem to make up the whole of our reality.  It is easy to say this is the result of the false self at work, and while in a way this rings true, in other ways I find such words or terms to be distortive.  This is NOT a false self, it is an illusion, a pure creation of ourselves which we then most often project in perfect Jungian style onto the world.  We use people and how they seem to us as we look at their behavior through our lenses of illusion.  It is just as true that my life as an artist meant many long hours.  I was the maker, the packager, the webmaster, the accountant, promoter, and salesperson, shipper, and receiver.  I was the finisher of the work, and I designed the displays that helped sell the work.  I developed new work, I supported the work that was more mature.  I had to hustle and the day did not fit into a neat 9-5 regimen like most people’s lives.  None of this was a mystery, none of it was any surprise.  It wasn’t like what I did was a big mystery to anyone.  THIS is how deeply we can hold our illusions about what we think or feel is true.

What kinds of illusions do you live under?  What colors your world and life?  What keeps YOU from seeing the clear light of day?

The path through awakening is most often one that leads to a place of neutrality in a sense, a removal of the lenses and thus the ability to see all sides and to see how the sides are or are not distorted by these self made lenses.  Now, having said all of this, the reality remains that I attracted a person like this into my life who was like this, so in all honesty, it is easy to point out the mote in my neighbors eye whilst ignoring the mote in my own.  Continually pointing out the problems in the world or in others is actually a waste of time because the most productive thing you can do is to take care of your own stuff.  If you find yourself continually focused on others’ ideas of you or feelings, then you simply are not focused on your own inner garden.  In this way, yes, there is a certain importance to taking care of YOU first.  It is madness to assume that by being a servant to everyone else is going to naturally lead you to a life of spiritual abundance when your bucket needs to be repaired.  You just wont really ever receive any lasting satisfaction from trying to fill others’ buckets with your own leaking like a sieve.  So you heal your own fractures first and then suddenly the light and life begins to fill you.  You no longer point out the problems of the world simply because you feel so full.  When you feel so full like this, you do not feel lack or loss.  You only feel……full.  Imagine a world full of people working from this side of the equation, of inner abundance instead of running around pointing out the problems in others, which is only pointing out your own short comings in a rather backward manner (via projection).  The curious thing is that if you have a leaky bucket, you will find yourself surrounded by others just like you.  Fix your own and you will find others around you doing the same.  It is a scheme that works very well all the way around.  You can heal the world by healing yourself.  Heal your own fracture and you often find the same happening around you.  This sounds like magic, but it is a common feature of how this kind of work goes.

Not to belabor the point, I will give you a quick example of what I mean.  I read somewhere someone who was quoting something from Ram Das’s Be Here Now.  His teacher and Das were talking about how his old teacher’s students were not catching on to a certain teaching that the teacher had espoused.  Das was one of these people.  He wondered aloud to his teacher why it was he was unable to embody this important teaching.  I forget exactly what this teaching was, but the specifics of this wasn’t the point.  What was the point was that his teacher observed that the teacher had not himself fully embodied the teaching.  The teacher probably heard that something was a good idea and thus he passed on the good teaching. But the teaching was not really part of who or what the man was, so he quite naturally attracted people who could not embody the teaching either.  This is what I mean, and if you think this is magical thinking, this happens ALL THE TIME and is most obvious when you have a way to observe what someone says and what they do.  Eventually you will, if given enough time, be able to observe if the teaching has sunk in and is part of who the person is.  Without that, the Law of Attraction works perfectly.  On the other side of the coin, having a teacher who then is able to embody a given teaching can result in freeing up all of the people s/he taught this teaching to to also embody it.  When we heal ourselves, we offer an opportunity to the world we have created to also heal.  So in this way, healing yourself is actually very huge. Its just not as immediately apparent to most people, but it is nonetheless how things work.

Being caught in our illusions is a bit like how someone makes the assumption that fire trucks cause fires.  Now we all know that is preposterous, and yet, it IS true that fire trucks ARE at an amazingly large number of fires, so it does make a kind of sense that they could be construed to be involved in creating them.  But in using this example, I am trying to underscore what we all tend to do at one time or another about the events in our lives.  In the words of the writer Anais Nin, we see the world as we are instead of as it is, and it is this tendency that leads not only to misunderstandings, but it also leads to suffering because, well, its so far off the mark of what is REAL.  I would later meet someone with the same kind of karmic issues as my (now ex) spouse who would make even more difficult statements that had to do with how I abused my students, how I manipulated people with my new-found powers.  It was all pretty crazy to me, and yet it all had a basis in something that existed before I even came along.  I had stepped into a karmic merry-go-round and was experiencing something I had not yet cleared from my consciousness.  When I saw and heard these things being said, it was hurtful, yes, but it also showed me so clearly how people describe a world that they FEEL is happening rather than what is really there.  We have this habit of not stopping and actually looking at things from a dispassionate perspective without bias and belief playing into the moment, and this is how a distorted world view emerges.

All of this is the result, I contend, of just what Buddha was so famously known for espousing, which is how expectation plays into our own suffering.  Instead of expecting something that is realistic from people or events, we choose to expect what we feel we desire.  This is actually based on something NOT realistic at all, but actually forms our own karma, the thing that serves to cloak our own divine selves.  Some desires are  soaked in karmic issues and so will not adhere to what is real but will speak instead of something deeper inside of us that also happens to be unresolved and most often, volatile, hurt, and broken feeling.  All of this material is brought to bear in the moment, at least potentially, so that our desire governs our actions and feelings instead of our being able to see what is there.  So instead of accepting what happens, we kind of fight with outcomes so they serve to make us feel bad or hurt because we feel we did not get what we wanted.  But what we wanted was itself based on these memes, the beliefs that we have floating around inside of us, and this all traces back into our karma.  There is a reason for all of this and you CAN release all of this in time if you want to go that deep, but for now, a more modest approach to keep things simple.

When you enter an experience, stay open to what is happening.  Try not to put too much investment in an outcome.  Try to simply go with the flow and make your mind up in the moment about what you want to do for that time.  This will keep you from leaving THE MOMENT.  A curious thing happens when we leave the MOMENT.  We begin to imagine and our imaginations naturally form based on our beliefs and inner Karmas.  Try to shorten that and keep yourself in the here and now. I know how hard it is to keep imagination out of it, I am myself highly imaginative, so it’s not easy.  But try it.  You might feel like this is just too passive an activity.  I am not suggesting that you not voice your opinion or just go along for the ride, but rather to observe the moment more and give yourself some time to really feel into that moment and into what it is you feel that you want.  Before you make your decision,  ask yourself if this is really what you want. This is not something you have to agonize over.  But over time, by doing this, you may find that your choices may change first in a small way and then in larger ways.  Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of doing what you think others would have you do; do what YOU want to do.

Observe your thoughts and watch how your own thinking naturally may turn back to a sense of expectation about something.  When you find yourself doing this, stop for a moment and allow yourself to suspend this tendency, first for a moment, and then the next time, for a longer time.  As you go through each moment in life, you will find you have an endless series of opportunities to do this careful self observation.  It might not be easy at first.  In fact, it might be downright cumbersome to you.  But I ask you, if you are interested in overcoming the things that lead to your suffering, isn’t something like this worth it?

When you meet someone for example, resist the desire to pigeon-hole them.  Keep your mind open about them.  I knew someone once who identified me with her father due to one important but really incidental trait that we both shared.  The result was that I found myself being compared to her father about a whole list of things that actually had nothing to do with me, but were actually things that she had not yet reached peace with her father.  It was interesting and also painful to watch and experience, but it sure was educational for me.  Here a person had become blind to the real me and was no longer really dealing with me but someone from her past.  This is a very hard thing not to do, so it means you need to practice what is called mindfulness.  This is simply being aware of what you think and feel at any moment.  You do this through a practice of observation.  You simply allow yourself to be more in an observation role and for some, it takes some practice, but after a while it can actually lead to a nice little space inside of you that is both quiet, calm, and even happy.  It is a place of peace inside of you if you let it.

This method can work a variety of ways and you can actually adapt it to your own use, but the core of the idea here is that you stop yourself from forming opinions about things based on your first impression.  Rather, allow yourself to register those thoughts and impressions, but just don’t make up your mind about them, because once you do and ego gets a hold of it, the next step is in placing those impressions into a belief about something.  Once something is a belief, however small, it takes on a life all its own.  It is actually something that has a life of its own.  You let it drop into your subconscious self and the rest becomes more or less automatic and hard to change once set in motion unless you have a supple ego who can give up the good readily.

This is a modest approach, but is one that you can use to help change your own level of suffering in your life by being aware of the process AS IT HAPPENS that results in unrealistic expectations or expectations that simply do not fit reality.  This can also lead to a simpler life and calmer self.

Now one path through this is to actually release karma, which will result in a lessening of these expectations, but for some doing this type of karmic release may be too much to take on right now.  Besides, it is also possible to come at this from another direction without such heady  issues at hand.  Goodnight and good luck!

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