Archives for posts with tag: awareness

When the mirror of the self is cleansed of all pretense, bias, and belief, we are free to begin to truly see. 

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I was not satisfied with the teaching in church….I knew there was more. I didn’t know what it was, only that it was wanting. I knew this above all else, beyond the explanations of others that I was merely “prideful” or unable to take the teaching as truth. No, there was more, I knew it beyond all else.
When I awakened I was lucky to have seen how there WERE teachings by Jesus himself which he passed on to his disciples in books that spoke directly about a process whereby one entered the kingdom. These were central teaching that acted like a key to understanding everything else Jesus was teaching in his ministry. The problem was that these teaching were demonized and anathematized by the church. These were part of this something “more.” I knew that in fact Jesus was teaching his followers about awakening and that the truth was hidden or obfuscated in numerous ways. History offered up her secrets and laid bare the many ways that contributed to our losing these central teachings. What is so amazing to me is that these teachings are actually the lynch pins in understanding all that Jesus taught about. It’s pretty incredible to look at all of this and know that this went down in the way that it did.
I once wrote about this issue and had some of my friends asking me why I was so critical about Christianity, or why I hated the church. It’s too easy to feel that way when dealing with this issue and to me, it is an easy way out of actually examining things closely and asking some very fair questions. But it’s not out of a deep hate or any of that. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I want a religion that offers the keys to self realization, of actually knowing what this kingdom is. Truth is a curious thing; we can have all levels of it and still be missing key points.

I have done the hard work of inquiring and looking. I have poured through the texts of the New Testament as well as those that were not included, from apocrypha to the Nag Hammadi. I have studied issues surrounding translation, how the contextual nature of Aramaic actually does matter when translating to any language, as well as what biblical scholars are saying that pastors dare not touch. More than this, I awakened and saw that the only books that helped describe my new state of being were the words of Jesus teaching his followers about the kingdom, which fit my experience perfectly….but also happened to have been deemed heresy. They had been cast aside and had never made it into canon.  The more that I read, the more it became clear that what we got was a version of the truth, but not the full truth.  I’m not even suggesting that this was some sort of conspiracy.  It may have been simply a conspiracy of ignorance acted upon by those who had less than the full story.  But even half the story is better than no story, and it wasn’t as if we weren’t getting truths.  We just didn’t get its heart, and this, dear readers, is the hardest one to swallow for some of us today.  It is covered over first by some 1700 years of tradition and then it includes a whole new dimension of thinking added, a great mystery that has been hidden from all of us (for whatever reason).

Since my experience in awakening is the same exact phenomenon as others who have awakened, and it’s all described in the same way by nearly everyone, and is being described in these cast-away texts, it begs the question; isn’t it possible that something very important was missed? And perhaps, then, might this missing piece be important to know the fullness of this man’s great insight and teaching? If you found out that the teaching of Jesus was incomplete, wouldn’t you, as a follower of Christ, want to know? I’m asking you to put your pride aside and get curious and be simple like children, ripe for hearing what might just be really big news.

Awakening, which is the kingdom, brings a renewed way of using the mind. If you can teach yourself to forgo mere rational thought, you can activate more and more of your capacity for understanding, which is truly liberating. It requires humility because there is so much to give up in order to see in this way. There is a blizzard of biases and beliefs that rage in such places, and the very religion that was created to support these teachings has essentially continued to demonize the concept of awakening in some quarters. Once these biases have been cleared, though, the mind becomes a luminous field of awareness in direct proportion to how much bias has been released. But it isn’t just that, it’s letting yourself be shown, led, taken by the presence of the indwelling divine and it’s child which is the Christ consciousness. Others call it Cosmic Consciousness, or Cosmic Mind. It is all the same and emerges in the same way in each tradition because this is what we ALL are, rather than the beliefs we hold. Remember how Jesus said the kingdom is within you? That might just be an important clue to all of us. It’s what’s inside-this does not happen outside of any of us. Where, then, do you think you will meet God?

This more asks me to continually to let go of my familiar moorings to here and as I do, new understanding floods in, mysteries become knowns, and the universe resolves into a greater and greater miracle. But no words can contain this more…you just have to go and see for yourself.

All of this is like a seed that grows into a sprout, then a plant, and then a flower. The flower opens more and more and this flower is awareness. This is how awakening proceeds; it is the smallest of seeds that grows in stages. More and more, it opens, revealing still-deeper layers of comprehension. To get there, I lay aside all rational thought and allow my mind to go blank. Yes, blank. It is here that absent thought a great and ineffable presence grows that is a love unlike any other. Everything I could ever wish to know becomes available in that “space.” If you believe you can’t, you probably won’t….but if you consider it possible, then it becomes possible. I wish this for everyone because it reveals our own foolishness and opens us to wonder and awe. The world so needs this right now.

Until next time….

For the women and men traveling to protest, to have their voices and choices heard, I salute you for your fortitude and effort.

Beyond the Mall and the travel, if we want to put an end to patriarchy and misogyny, it will be because the arson that we used to burn it down was itself an inside job. Lurking in all of us are the effects of centuries of a way of thinking, and while we see our leader as exemplifying that in the worst of ways, if any of us want to see this way of being gone then it will be because we were honest in seeking it out within ourselves and made efforts to change it.

Patriarchy is about the illusory status of power. We either assume or own our power or we don’t. We stand up to the strong and stick to our convictions. We are honest about how we feel, but we also can reveal brutality through nonviokent resistance. Either we define our relationships in terms of giving that power away or we don’t. No social system is inherently controlling in its aspects, humans are. There is nothing inherently more powerful from one sex to the other, because they both are.

Patriarchy has left its mark, just look at how one-sided religions steeped in it have only one human aspect to the Godhead: male. Its religions, too, are all-male run while women are given the back seat, relegated to worker-bee status. The dark side to all of this is that some women find this enticing and interesting…or fulfilling (right along with the men, of course). But then, that’s how things are: it affects all of us as we fall under its vast thrall. It pinches our perception, our experience, and our lives. It leads us to a kind of half life and no one bothers to ask why. But this century has shown a real shift in that kind of brittleness and it has revealed a truth that we are far more flexible and amenable to change than we may have previously dreamed. To continue, we need to look closely into all of ourselves to root out what no longer serves. To do this requires honesty.

When men speak about women and think of them as mere objects, that is misogyny. When women cannot get paid the same as men, that is what patriarchy has brought us. But it comes in other subtle ways when mothers call their sons “little man” or “my protector.” When mothers support old images of male power they imprint patriarchy and possibly even misogyny on the hearts and minds of their children, male or female. When fathers show preferences toward a son over his daughter, or treat the daughter as fundamentally different from his son, if not done carefully, can lead to patriarchy. There are myriad ways that we repeat, unconsciously, the program that is patriarchy or misogyny. Sometimes, we don’t know any better and just need a new or good model. And sometimes we do it knowingly.

For men and women ARE different, but it should not be the reason to exclude or divide or lessen one sex in its potential or capabilities.  Different, yes, but all equivalent. Not the same, no, but both equivalent. 

Let’s be nuanced in our approach and see the good in all instead of the bad. By encouraging the best in all of us, we might just get it.
Be clear where your power springs. Don’t give your power over out of fear or desire for approval. Don’t give it because you think it’s marketable. Keep it so that you might inspire others to keep it also so that this flame might burn in everyone. 

I look forward to even bigger changes in the upcoming year. You might be sick to death of Trump, but he IS a symptom of our own collective self which we often find too uncomfortable to even look at it. Too often, we project our own shortcomings on to others with disastrous results. I have been able to see how I projected onto others and how they projected on to me. It was always a reverse condition even though no one could see it. These things are much too hard to acknowledge, until they are. 

This isn’t about being comfortable facing an ugly truth, but it does lead to comfort once the old demon in us is gone. And because of how much our unexamined beliefs run us, it’s a life-changer when we can make that change. In ourselves. Otherwise, we continue to point it out in others whilst ignoring the beam in our eye, and I don’t have to tell you what an endless merry-go-round that is!

So acknowledge that we have more to do and consider what a great opportunity it is to be brought to this awareness by our big orange buffoon. Like it or not, he is our buffoon, and we could really clear our inner decks of so much that we all say we don’t like or are against. The only war we will wage will be a war about how we choose to react and feel about people and the world. You aren’t going to change Trump, but you can make yourself better. That great tide will be the force that won’t eradicate Trump, but ALL of the Trump’s that might have followed after him in the world. By being aware, you won’t add to the patriarchy, but add to equality or sexual equivalence and personal relevance regardless of your sex, your orientation or color or creed. What a wonderful world that would be.
I have seen how angry people are with the rioting that took place out there just before the inauguration. If only we could take that energy and burn down the patriarchy in our own inner hearts and souls, we would really be on to something.

Good luck, travel safe, and stay dry and warm, marching or not…and stay aware out there…

Last month, I promised readers that I would share methods that I have found effective in releasing stored trauma. To do this will mean that I will have to break the larger method up into smaller bite-sized chunks since the overall system is enough to fill a book. For now, these are the basics of one important method for you to use in your own work at home.

First Things First

By now you probably know that you not only have a body, but you also have an energetic template that meshes perfectly with your body that allows your consciousness to focus itself in the physical body. 
The soul, which is beyond the time construct, lives in time as a focus courtesy of the projection it creates that allows it to mesh with the physical body. This projection is like a series of nonphysical bodies that allow for a broad range of experience and expression to occur. The light body is one important interface between the physical and nonphysical. It is itself not physical, but can manipulate and create with energy that also happens to stimulate and guide the endocrine system, which are the glands that help stimulate healing and emotional well being.  This energy changes form depending on how it’s needed. Most of the time we are all so enmeshed in what’s happening that this reality escapes us. In the body this energy is most often experienced as prana or chi (qi) and we are most aware of it during contemplation and healing work. This is but one state of the energy because energy can become anything when consciousness is in the process of creating with it. So that’s the baseline.

The big challenge for most who slumber, unawakened, and even those who are awake, is how this template,  that is a projection that focuses us in the body, can become cluttered with thought forms. These serve to disrupt a clearer flow of awareness from soul to body and from soul to all the different parts of the self (intellect, reason, id, ego, emotions, feelings/beliefs, etc.).
Clearing the blocks that exist serves to bring us closer to the light of our souls and the kingdom that is within each of us. When you can dissolve these blocks, which are made up of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that serve to, in some way,  limit and divide you from yourself, the pathway or channel to the awakened state can more easily emerge. 

The act of awakening, itself, is a substantive union of opposites in consciousness, which IS this energetic flow. It is being triggered naturally in many people who often unwittingly remove enough divisive psychological material so that the energy appears to “rise.” There are numerous ways that this union of self begins, but it always revolves around an act or event that catalyzes a reduction in inner division of one kind or another.

What I have developed is a master method (made up of a series of methods used together) which is at its root similar to the same goals that yogic traditions such as pranayam and kundalini yoga have which is clearing the nonphysical pathways (called and nadi and also meridians in the Indian and Chinese systems, respectively) to make the presence of awakening easier or smoother. 

The first method that I will describe to you appears to be much more effective at cleansing the light body of blocks than the eastern methods have been, at least for the average person. Those currently using this method do not know that this can be an important first step to awakening (which is as it should be). This is one case where a contemporary method trumps a thousands’ year set of yogic methods or tradition. If you haven’t caught on to it yet, my hope in developing this system is to provide an effective and efficient means to clear stored material that is holding the majority of humanity in a certain level of consciousness. 
The idea that awakening is only for the special chosen few sounds preposterous and the height of arrogance to me. This is each of our birth right to know this level of awareness, and it’s emergence in this time is critical for our survival.. Further, the race needs this as a whole if we are to keep a balance with the pace that technology is taking in its development. We must, I feel, learn to extend our reach and improve our grasp as humans so that neither exceeds the capacity of the other (thank-you, Nicola Tesla).

Understand that when you are dealing with old systems from other cultures, you can wind up with inefficiencies as well as cultural biases and beliefs that can limit experience for all who follow them. To start with, many gurus in India operate under the belief that you cannot awaken without a guru or that anything you try without a guru will be wrong (I’m paraphrasing an Indian guru who writes on WordPress, so this is not an exaggeration). Obviously, we know that this is not correct because of the thousands of us who have awakened without yoga or a practice, let alone a guru. Having others more experienced around you is helpful, but it’s not a must. You simply have to be clear enough to hear your own soul communicating to you amidst the remaining static from the “baggage” remaining.

One class of blockage that occurs in the light body is stored trauma. This can be just about anything. Your birth may have been traumatic. Someone disciplining you for the first time as a child using a stern voice may have felt traumatic. Whenever we encounter something that causes us to resist feeling it, this becomes a stored experience. In fact, the experience doesn’t need to be that bad; if there is enough belief that it’s terrible or bad, the block is stored. This, by the way, is what many people wind up experiencing in awakenings where they might struggle for days, weeks, or even years (yes years!) with a stored block only to find that it was itself built entirely on a misperception or belief about how they viewed an event in the past. These are what I call, in my own work, “the mouse that roars.” That is, it was never so big than it was in our own belief or thoughts about it. 
The effect of releasing this stored material is that you can see the world as it really is to the degree that you release this overburden of material within.

Without it, life is being viewed in much the same way as my pinhole camera picture only reveals a limited and distorted view of what we each think we are and what our existence is. I have had a front row seat to see how this lack of awareness manifests in people through an inability to see how their actions bring drama and cause harm, or how their inability to be honest limits their lives and hurts those they claim to love. So blinded are these people they cannot see that they are hurting others…and they wonder why their lives are a mess. It winds up being the fault of others so long as these people remain in the trap of their own trauma, unable to look at themselves honestly and have that “come to Jesus” moment which is so important for undoing years of junk. What I’m proposing will help to release this burden immediately and can be put into use on a daily or weekly basis to eliminate the material that blinds and binds us.

The wonderful thing about this work is that you have a “get out of jail free” card that comes in the form of a series of somatic exercises that allows you to bypass the trauma and effectively toss it to the curb without so much as dirtying your hands. While there may be a few instances where encountering a block directly could prove effective in its release, the vast majority can simply be let go. Your conscious mind does not always need to know the contents of your subconscious in order to let things go; it only needs to be willing to participate in letting it all go so that it can set its sights on a future that is brighter and not bearing the limits that these blocks put on the self and it’s awareness of the soul.
That said; a background on the method….

Most mammals share a triadic coping mechanism for dealing with stress and trauma. Humans, however, do not share this mechanism in the same way as animals in the wild do. When animals experience severe trauma their nervous system instigates a coping mechanism that takes the form of nervous shaking immediately following a traumatic experience. Researchers have found that this helps release the emotional energy and keeps it from being stored. 

Normally the coping mechanisms humans have are fight, flee, or freeze when a traumatic experience comes our way. Most often we freeze. When we do this, we are actively storing the energy we are feeling, and this energy is not stored in the brain, it’s shoved aside, annexed, to reside in the body.

That last statement is something of a stumbling block for some people because as Westerners, we have been taught to believe that all past experience resides in the brain. But what the ancients have observed for thousands of years, modern psychological and neuroanatomy research is only just beginning to recognize. What we are slowly catching on to is that the body has a capacity for storing memory, and thus far, it appears to be emotionally-based memory.

My research has led me to find, based on the urgings of my higher self in meditation, the clues about how this is so. When I was writing a section in my manuscript about methods for assisting the clarifying effect that awakenings have in regards to these blocks, I had a series of synchronicity events where an important method fell into my lap three times over the span of two days. This unusual discovery led me on a hunt to find supporting evidence for why we store memory in this way, and how we can release it.

This hunt led me to two important clues to the body’s connection with memory, which is that the body has neurons located all through it (and you thought neurons were just in the brain!) as well as research that shows that memory is stored in organs such as the liver, kidney, and heart. 

The research that is being done in the arena of organs storing memory has to do with the curious capacity donor organs have to transfer memory and personality traits to those receiving the donated organ. Bear in mind that nearly all organ donation is done anonymously so as to protect the family members of the donor from unwanted intrusion from strangers receiving the organs.  

Notable cases involve a murder that was solved because the child who received the organ began having dreams that revealed the last things the donor saw before their death (which included the name and description of the murderer). One recipient was able to locate her donor’s obituary, and another had both her sexual orientation change to the choice of her donor as well as her food preferences (going from lesbian to straight, and vegetarian to meat-eating).The research in this area is fascinating, and I feel is helping to show how it is that emotional memory is being stored. 
This research has become a substantive body of work which I wrote about on this blog several years ago and will add the link to at the end of this article so you can see for yourself.

By finding the most effective way of mimicking what the animals do to release trauma, you can begin digging down into your own body to release this overburden that every human on the earth lives with but is largely unaware of.

The Method

Position yourself on a comfortable surface such as a yoga mat or firm flat futon, lying on your back. You can support the base of your spine by rolling up a towel or firm pillow to raise you bottom up into the air about four to eight inches if you want. Begin to relax by breathing slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth until you find yourself feeling like you have made the transition to a more relaxed state. This step is necessary for all that follows. 
Let yourself sink into a relaxed and quiet state where your busy mind slows down. Imagine floating down a lazy river with the warm sun beating down on your skin; you feel like you don’t have a worry in the world. Keep breathing nice and deep so you can relax deeply, too.

Now, with your feet flat on the floor, raise your buttocks upwards so that your feet and legs are supporting most of the weight of your body on them. Your feet might curve to rest more on the balls of your feet for support. You only need to lift your body up a few inches. Support yourself in this way until you begin to feel your legs shaking. This is essentially an effort to fatique muscles so you shake. This may take some time to achieve. Also, you can induce mild trembling to strong shaking, and this works just as well.
Most often, you will feel like you should reposition yourself in order to stop shaking, but with this method you need to stay with the shaking for enough time that it can do its work, which is to begin to release stored material.If you center weight on your legs, you can eleviate any stress to the lower back muscles in the event that you have a history with lower back problems.

Do this exercise for as long as you are comfortable, with repetitions of a few minutes each, with up to three to five minutes being optimal if you can do it for this length of time.  Fifteen minutes at a time is optimal. Once the shaking begins, it is enough to stir you and begin to release material. 

You want to avoid physical strain and remain in the “sweet spot” of shaking for at least several minutes at a time or as long as you are physically comfortable doing so. Mammals in the wild shake an average of fifteen minutes.Just follow your own comfort level. The shaking is the thing.

As you do this, increasingly find your breathing going into your lower diaphragm and begin to open the lower solar plexus up by breathing this way. As you are shaking, you might feel emotions rising to the surface. When you breathe, give those emotions a voice in simple ways. It could be gutteral, it could be something different, but let whatever emotion rises be given a voice. Instead of going deep into the emotion, you are helping to release it, to let it express and then go. Don’t let yourself feel self-conscious if you can help it; this is a path to positive self care, so let yourself explore this area. Don’t censor yourself; this is all about acknowledging the feeling in order to let it go. This is different from marinating in the feeling. 
To get deep into how trauma is stored, it’s useful to understand some of the muscles involved and their proximity to the more emotionally charged energy centers of solar plexus, sacral, and root chakras.

The set of muscles you are using that causes most of she shaking are the legs and an area of the pelvis that is situated in your hips The interesting thing here is that it is this region of the body where a lot of our earliest trauma can be stored from childhood.this is where the solar plexus ends, the sacral begins, and the root is close by. This exercise helps to clear this region most effectively and is being used to treat PTSD.

Another posture is possible if lying on your back doesn’t work for you. This position is done while standing. 

Position yourself so that your back is against a wall, and then slide down from a standing position to one that is just above the position that you have when sitting in a chair. This posture is meant to fatigue your legs and hips so that you begin to shake or tremble. When you do both of these methods correctly, you will feel like you are getting a real work out both physically and emotionally! 

One big plus for doing release work of this kind is that your physiological reactions to stress and anxiety can change significantly for the better by removing the root cause of the stress, anxiety, or depression to begin with. If you have been on antianxiety medication, this could be a great way to finally reduce the load of stress or anxiety so that the medication might not be needed (since it is possible to release the store trauma that may have been causing the condition to begin with).

Sometimes it can be helpful to have someone with you whom you trust who can sit with your head in their lap as they cradle your head and help to let you know that everything is going to be okay. You have been suppressing these emotions and it’s not unusual to feel vulnerable when they bubble up. Very often, you won’t know what these emotions are tied to, but letting them bubble up releases them for all time.

Another benefit to this method is that once you release something, you will feel a measure of relief and clarity. If it’s a block that is central to many of your problems that you have in life, the bad feelings surrounding this will go away and you will feel like a new person where this old issue is concerned. I describe this experience as erasing an old program in my subconscious that has been running on its own on auto pilot for years, giving me all kinds of grief. Once it’s gone, the fear or anger or stuck feeling is gone as well. Just like that.

This method is the least invasive of any method I can think of for releasing stored emotional material. It is important to not resist whatever comes up. It was resistance that stored the material in the first place, and no matter how bad you think a feeling might be, your acceptance will always be the key that allows you to cope with just about anything. Once you do, it will be gone, and it will only be a dim memory within a matter of days. You will have shifted your own probable time line. Sounds like a big deal, but we do this with every decision that we make.

It is worth mentioning that other methods that achieve the same result often work with moving the body. In the practice of pranayam, pumping the stomach is a method that gets close to the shaking in the body that this method achieves. Chi Gong is a body movement method that works with the human energy field by using energy and body movement together to stir and release blocks. But for sheer speed and efficiency, the leg shaking method can’t be beat.

If you find that you can’t do the leg shaking method I have just described, I will be including more of the methods that go to make up  the “master method” which are a constellation of exercises and therapies designed to clear blocked material fast.

One very simple way to feel whether you are healed in a given issue or area is to simply gauge how you  feel about something. Are you resisting it?  When you feel yourself needing to pull away from something to keep from feeling it, there is something not yet healed. The Zen concept of “Zero” which is often called today as the “Zero Point” is what happens when pent up material is released. Healing happens when you reach neutrality, which is a deep state of balance which is achieved block by released block.  
Now I have an admission to make: I was not altogether truthful about the number of coping mechanisms that we have available to us. I recalled that they were fight, flight, and freeze. To be truthful, there is another “f” word and it’s central to never building trauma to begin with. I promise that I’ll cover this important coping state in my very next post. 

So begin trying this method and let me know what your experience is with it. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask. Until next time,  light-bearers…
Link:
http://www.paulpearsall.com/info/press/3.html

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This world has the openness that allows us to choose how we see it. In my life I have seen how a seemingly ordinary world transformed itself into a sheer miracle of a place. What gives?

The truth was, the world had always been this way. It was I who had shuttered my perception, not letting in enough of the light. I could not see it for how I felt.

This is, though, how all of our lives are. We each have a choice-to own ourselves and our feelings, or not. But when we choose to not fully own what is ours, a very curious thing happens.Psychologist call this projection.

Projection can happen in a variety of ways, but the effects from doing it are always the same. When we don’t fully own our feelings, we project those feelings onto things. Anything will do; people, places, and things. We will see a person as having the very troubles that lie within our own hearts and minds. Carl Jung, the noted psychologist explained that when it comes to projection, the person who is projecting swears that the fault lies in the Other….be it their neighbor, friend, or family member.
The thing to understand is that as long as we are engaged in projecting, we don’t realize we are the ones who are doing it.

One really good example of mass projection played out on a national scale when Germans believed that Jews were a problem back before Germany invaded Poland. As we all know, the Jewish people weren’t the problem at all. The real problem that gripped so much of Germany was a deep seated dislike of something within themselves. There was a fear of this self, over how it might not be controllable, and this was projected as loathing for the Jewish people. As we can see, the Jews became the first column in a larger effort that was conceived in madness. Liberal, educated, and lovers of culture and art, the Jews were what the Germans, many of them, believed they were not, or perhaps more accurately, feared they were but could not allow themselves to be. The irony in this story is that Hitler sought to steal art work from the Jews and from the countries that he invaded. Hitler was a failed art student who had been deemed unworthy of schooling by a….Jewish teacher when he was younger. You might think this was just about a twisted form of “payback,” but it goes deeper than that. Unable to deal constructively with his own creative drive, Adolph turned his creativity on its head so that it became aggression instead of what creativity otherwise does when used in a positive way, which is that it unifies. We all know how that turned out. The hate within was turned outward onto an innocent people and one man’s madness enlivened the splinters in a large part of his nation so that they became extremely exxagerated. The nation really did believe that the problem were the Jews. They believed this so much that they went to extraordinary lengths to justify their own projections. What the Germans hated in the Jews was actually what they hated about themselves. This had nothing to do with the Jews…but by projecting, the Jews became the skapegoat. Sad, isn’t it?

We see this tendency everywhere when we observe how one person doesn’t “get” another person. They misperceive things about them, or interpret what another person does based less on what is true for that person and more on an inner script that is playing in the mind of the person who is doing the projecting.

To learn how to stop projecting is quite easy. You simply learn to own your life and your feelings. You can stop projecting by bringing awareness into your life because projection always happens when there is a lack of it.

When you feel that twinge inside of you that tells you that the fault is in another, this is the moment that you should ask yourself if this is really true. There is something in each of us that I call The Watcher that gives us the means to step back and examine what is happening, in a dispassionate way, that can unlock the doors of our native perception. You just need to reflect within, gently and quietly, in that moment and then feel deeply within yourself for the truth about where your feelings are coming from.

The truth is that our feelings come from us. We each are choosing to react to any given moment in our lives. Look for any feeling that reveals a sense of resistance, tension, or tightness, in either your mind, heart, or body. If you feel this tightness, then you are resisting seeing and acknowledging a deeper truth about what is happening in the moment. I can tell you that were you to know the truth about why you are resisting and getting ready to think it’s all the problem of another person, the reason fully known to you simply would erase your feelings of resistance. It is always this way. Always.

The resistance happens because  our mind thinks one thing and our soul know another. Since the mind is like the surface of a lake and the soul is its depths, the mind can forget what the other part actually knows. But being so focused in our minds, we don’t realize that there is another side to the story. There is always another side to the story!

Ceasing to project means listening carefully to what is being said to you by that knowing self within so that you can hear what is being said to you by others. When we “read into” people’s words, all we are doing is actively projecting onto them our own inner script.

Everyone has their own story….and deep down we actually DO know the story, were it not for all the surface static that our minds create.

This static comes from our beliefs about a host of things. “People are just rude and uncaring” might be one. This belief will cause your mind to leap to conclusions that lead to all sorts of problems. So that person who cut you off in traffic? They might have not even seen you, or maybe they needed to pee so bad that they were just trying to get home or to the gas station across the street. We interject this material all the time, often without even realizing it. We just aren’t being aware enough.

I have found that people who engage in finger pointing are most often hiding the fault, or a very similar one within themselves. I was once married to a person who did this a lot. What I was able to see was that the fault she falsely tried to seed into the minds of my children wound up being the very fault that she was exercising in that moment. Deep down, by saying to my children that I didn’t love them, she was revealing her own inability to love in a big hearted way….a way that I had always had loved them. If her live had been big like mine had been, she probably would not have said such ridiculous things like she did. But suspecting or perhaps fearing that she didn’t love them in a big hearted way, but also being unable to consciously admit this to herself, she saw a “truth” that resided outside of herself in another person.

What this woman actually saw was a man who felt alienated by her behavior and the pain that it caused. It wasn’t a lack of love, but because it had been so abundant and had gotten crushed. THAT was the true story, and as long as her script was running in her head, it has kept her from being able to see what was real.

Projections can come from the most broken part of ourselves. It can blind us to what is happening in front of us. I have seen how I have done this….jumping to conclusions that had nothing to do with what was there, or seeing events in such a way that they mirrored what was going on inside of me instead of the way they actually were. And because the soul can feel this, the people around me can pick up on this and they respond, at least in part, with that soul-knowing…along with their own interperative scripts.

Step back and feel into the source of the resistance. Do you feel angry? Most often, this is a script from your past that is about a hurt you never got over. This is a perfect moment to begin healing it by letting yourself to drift deep into the feeling like drifting in the water of a deep lake. Just relax and stay neutral. Tell yourself that you are not your feelings. Your feelings are based in choices you make about how you want to feel. Drift into them and let yourself feel deeply into whatever the feeling is. Pretend you are a visitor to the lands of your subconscious and ask yourself what the root of that feeling is. Don’t let yourself fall into resistance. Fall into yourself and let the Watcher learn to see. Use your intuition, which is tied to feeling but isn’t the emotions.

Feeling deeply like this, you can begin to access the nonlinear feeling self that knows. If you find yourself feeling defensive, this is a sign that you need to let go more. Then, just let whatever cones to mind surface…no matter how easy it might seem or how quickly you might want to discount it. “Oh, it couldn’t be that” we often tell ourselves. For this moment, let anything come without trying to mediate it in a judging way. Let yourself be willing to free associate. It’s very likely that you grasped something that your rational mind could not.

The key in all of this is when you feel the tightness. This is not the world doing this, it’s you. By owning it, you can gain significant awareness necessary to begin healing or erasing this pattern from your mind. When you see the world as it is, your body does not resist. Yes, there are terrible things that happen in our world, but when you can see the truth behind the horror, the soul always floods in and the heart opens because they both know that the horror is there only because of a stored hurt in another that just needs a little more love to heal. The soul flows in moments like these because it knows that the answer is NEVER resistance, but surrender. Our souls know it because every soul is a spark from a still larger flame. The soul does this because at a deeper level it knows that we are all one.

Doing this work frees and liberates. It is freedom. It lies in true compassion, which requires us to be willing to see beyond our own inner scripts in order to bridge the gulf between all of us.

Nemasté.

Every moment blooms with implications, mirrors, meanings often escaping notice.  But if you scratch beneath the surface, you will see that each moment is not accidental, but magnetized to all that you are.  Just look.  Watch.  Inquire with your mind, intending to know and then wait.  Those with the greatest alignment will start talking.  They will start coming out of the woodwork with their stories.  These stories have much to tell you about where you are, the commonality of experience and how in miraculous ways the world coheres to where you are.  And it is in this way that everything is a lesson.  You just need to look behind the obvious, rational.

We say a lot about mirrors and the law of attraction.  But its not well understood.  Anais Nin once said that we do not see the world as it is, but as we are.  We see in others not what they are, but what we project into them, bringing all manner of assumptions that are less about them and all about us. This is more about how we feel about them, or are reacting to them.  It is a pretty crazy way to go about knowing ourselves, don’t you think? But we as humans do it all the time. In my life I have seen this happen so many times it has become business as usual—and knowing that this is so affords you an opportunity based on your awareness that you have that this is the way things are.  But knowing that this is so, ask yourself what each moment is telling you, what each encounter is bringing up.  You are telling it to yourself, so you might as well delve into it and see what it has to teach you.

The other side of this is also how you react or respond to things that often push your buttons.  A “hot button” is actually an opportunity to clear something up in yourself at a time when you think it is someone else who is pushing your buttons.  Truth is, no one pushes our buttons; we simply choose to respond a certain way.  By stepping back in the moment a little, by bringing the watchful part of ourselves into our lives, it is possible to begin to see just what is going on instead of merely reacting.  An event that yesterday may have been hard for you could go from being a tragedy to being seen as a remedy.  So which is better, a tragedy or a remedy?  You can begin to see these challenges as allies in your life, very real opportunities for change and growth….change for the better…because once released, or healed, that issue becomes less and less of a problem for you.  You have less strife, hurt, anger, or frustration in your life.  People can be seen as being just who they are doing their own thing and you choosing the bounce off of what they do either with a positive or negative spin.

I know this all may sound Pollyanna to you, but I can assure you that this is an authentic way to start with real change in your life. And the healing part?  That comes with a willingness to delve into whatever your hot button issue is and look at it in ways you had not done so before.  What is at the root of your issues?  Where do they come from?  Do you know the genesis?  Most often, they are rooted in some unfinished business….maybe a parent or family member or friend hurt you when you were young and you have forever been reactive to anyone who behaves in a way that brings up that old memory.  But look at what is happening here; something has not really been resolved, has it?  Why not resolve it and see what happens?  Often it is a feeling like we have not been heard, or that our grievance has not been fully heard or understood.

In a case where your grievance goes over the heads and hearts of those who may have been involved, then the next step is a harder type of work called acceptance.  This acceptance is not blind acceptance, but an understanding that the other simply does not get it, and may not even be designed to ever get it.  And there is the rub.

Does the world really have to “get” you? How about you getting you and becoming content with that?  This person in this case may never see the light the way you do…so you have to choose to accept this glitch in them and in so doing, you do something in yourself you may not have done before, which has to do with a greater love that flows in the moment that you are able to let yourself feel in this way….which is always more expansive.  You see, the benefit is your own.  Working in this way (and others) you can learn how to heal and move on.  The “work” in all of this is by way of grace.  This is not something you work through…but that you accept.  By doing this, your brain learns how to think differently, to be different.  When you have done this a few times, it has a way of catching on for other issues in your life.  It can lead to what you will find will be small and big victories in finding greater peace and understanding in your life.

Opening to the feeling self, you can begin to feel the energy all around you.  And this energy is your life.  If you do not like what you see or feel deeply within, you can change it.  You can.  And you begin with the intention, then, like growing a plant from seed, you water and care and nurture it gently, persistently, and you don’t give up.  This becomes part of your life….and you grow used to feeling your way instead of using just the rational mind.  Feeling into it includes a vast part of your being….it is not vague, or touchy-feely.  It is, instead, how so many have comprehended the Tao….as best they could….a Presence that abides within and all around.

These lessons can be catalysts for great change.  Like a seed, you just have to be patient.  In perfect timing, events and people and opportunities will come along to help shift how you see and feel…which leads to still more change.  From this, broader realization can come to you.

waterish

How do I tell them

that you dwell in all of the smallest

and thus through the All?

How do I tell them how You exist everywhere

in everything

utterly ubiquitous

seemingly silent

except for how present you are?

How do I tell them

that the path to initiation

is by way of joining the

Two Currents

of thought

feeling

brain

mind

and archetype,

and that nothing less

will reveal

your presence

to them?

How do I tell them

that their religions have been poor substitutes

to the glory

wonder

and awe

that is you?

How do I tell them?

How do I utter your secrets?

The problem

is there are no secrets.

We have chosen to close our eyes

our inner-seeing eyes

whilst looking outward

through eyes made

of gross matter only

chosen that as the truth

forgetting that it was the Creation

not the soul that inhabits that Creation.

Who can be bothered to seek deeply

only to find

everything is a prop

a stage set for a story whose plot contains

a diminished message

while a deeper truth abides

curled inside of everything.

It takes real inquiry

honesty

and so simply

the doors do open…..

To know the One

focus your attention

on the smallest place within you.

At the smallest level is where

the One rushes in

and inhabits all of us

quietly

and without our permission

or knowledge

like ancestral DNA

whose voice can be heard

beneath the soft sigh of imperishability.

It is below normal awareness…..

its power is so strong

that once awakened,

you should be ready

for a new life to form

filled with meditation and practice

to working to release your inner resistance

to the work it will do in you….

thus the old life can change so much.

With the two currents awakened in your awareness

you can join two “eyes” of your being

into the one eye

which initiates a flow all through you

and undoes you

that you might know

see

feel

and abide

in your riches.

It is near the third eye where the currents

flow one into the other

naturally

continuously

and the only one who has not known this

has been your concious awareness.

This is the point or merging

opposite forces

into one

for the sake of Creation

the Dance

that returns and supports

all creations.

This is the rebirth

the ressurection

the awakening

to a new life

as though the flesh were dead

and which is now alive,

more alive now than ever.

Here,

mysteries can be known

felt

experienced

like a contiguous map

or landscape

uncompounded

consistent

whose golden thread

runs through everything

and can be illuminated

when you bring

both sides

of reason

and irrational

imagination

concrete

the warm

cold

full

void

into unity.

When these twin forces merge

everyone experiences

what can only be described

as an extreme state of bliss

that is orgasmic

and which releases

this energy all through the body

to heal

cleanse

and return it back to love

so that this bliss

is used for larger purposes

like enlightenment

illumination

and ressurection.

Here is where it begins

a fine thread

you grasp

that takes you through itself.

No images exist here

but pure spirit

will carry you to worlds

beyond this one

but straddles all realities.

The thread will take you to every answer

your mind seeks

all origins

and being.

A vast library is built of this thread

the one living invisibly within us all,

threaded through all thought,

all action,

all events,

all matter

and all that was

or shall be.

You shall inherit this

upon Initiation.

Touch this Presence at its smallest

within you

and you will know it

outside of you

through all things

for we are all connected by this thread

of golden awareness

linked to imperishability

and new life.

You do not need to believe anything.

This exists before all dogma

all belief

and will correct all wrong thought

when you submit yourself to It long enough

to wear away the stones cast into your heart

and sou…..

There are so many hurdles

Errors which we each have created

lifetimes of them

and yet

the world of them will come toppling down

when we each enter more deeply into this force

that is love

that is your emanation

your presence

your life

within us.

Join the two

open your whole being

let it invade you

and undo you.

You needn’t be afraid

for each of us who are already awake

will be standing silently within you

as your eyes open

to this new world…..

Your vision will slowly clarify

as you are healed

of your error

and you will see clearly

more and more

like swimming slowly

up from murky depths

to the light.

This can take a lifetime to clear

or only moments

and when the Two are joined

a current will begin to move in you

restoring you

to the original state.

Here,

you use both reason

and imagination

like a man and woman

hand in hand

in close union

with respect and care for the other

left and right brain

Shiva and Shakti

Yang and Yin

together

nonantagonistic

moving evenly in peace

which produces

immense pearls of bliss,

further healing you from past error

and illusions.

These things were once spoken secretly

behind stone walls

and only to the ‘elect.’

It is time

that we see

that it is time

for this teaching to be opened up for all to know

the good new spread far and wide…..

but who shall have the eyes to see?

Those who are ready

can inherit it

but only by joining irrationality

feeling

fluidity

with the rational

and solid

for the new Arrangement

to take form,

the mystical marriage

of the Alchemists.

This is the only Initiation

that has ever mattered.

Who then shall hear?

When then shall see?

waterish

Over the course of awakening I have found that my comprehension concerning energy has evolved significantly over the last eight years.  Before awakening I read auras, I had a native ability to pick up on this energy, but when awakening came this sense easily tripled in sensitivity.

As a result of this, I have found that I am picking up on aspects of energy that no one is even talking about.  When I read documents such as on pranayama or on the Golden Flower, I often find that there is a lot missing in understanding what is at work in the energy body of a person.  A few months ago I was being worked on by a therapist who was doing massage and energy work.  I could follow what she was doing, which was clearing individual lines of energy through the meridian or nadi channels in my etheric or energy body.  As she did this, I found myself changing the way that I looked or picked up on my own energy field; I began looking DOWN through the energy channels, and when I did this, I saw something completely different from anything I have ever heard described.  What I was able to see was the presence of the chakra wheels in each channel in a certain arrangement.  This showed to me an aspect of how our energy works, which is how the chakras have their own channels through which their own energy frequency flows alongside the frequencies of other centers. Why this is important is that once you know HOW each intersecting line in the energy body is composed, you can direct pressure into that point in a very exacting way in order to release a portion of a block in, say, the sacral chakra, by how one applies pressure in one portion of the meridian system that is far from the center being worked on.

I have also found that the directional flow that most yogis and other practitioners talk about is not actually the flow of the pranic force but is something else altogether.  While it IS an effect of how energy flows, it is not directly tied to energetic flow, but is in truth more about energetic harmonics.  Have you ever heard about pranic harmonics?  I didn’t think so.  No one talks about it.  What does it mean for a healer?  What does it say about your own level of energetic awareness? What can you do to delve into the world of energy more and understand this at a higher order than you had before? The benefits are that you can help others with their own energy and you can understand your own energy and the energy of the universe.

The question I have is whether or not there is interest in this kind of material.  I know that by expanding our awareness in this region, we can also expand our capacities as healers. What say you?

Amongst the aboriginal peoples of this land there are prophecies about a time in the future when the earth would become sick and be in need of cleansing.  The prophecies are rich in details.  I  know that some may cast askance at the mention of prophecy.  We think how hard it would be for anyone to predict future events; there are just so many variables, right?  My experience has been that there does exist within us the ability to anticipate events with a great deal of accuracy.  Growing up I had many very specific dreams about events that unfolded just as they had been dreamed….a neighbor who many years ago gave birth to twins who I saw in my dream who were blonde, a boy and a girl, in their crib, born of parents with dark hair, a real kind of impossibility in so many ways as a predictable outcome.  And yet, not only did my neighbor become pregnant, she gave birth to twins.  These twins were both blonde, a joke that some made about who the parents really were since their father was as dark-haired as could be, and their mother a lovely auburn.  Or, the dream about the explosion from an industrial building over Russia that sent a radioactive plume of white material up into the upper atmosphere that spread and travelled towards Europe, raining down as radioactive snow….an event so severe that the locals were trucked out using cargo trains, packing the people into them just to get them out.  In the dream I saw a meter counting the number of people and the last count was over 60,000 souls.  Three weeks later we saw the same event unfolding on the news.  At the end of the news broadcast it was explained that the people were being moved using freight cars and that over 60,000 people had already been moved out of the area as the radioactive cloud menaced Europe, raining down as radioactive snow.  These are just two of many dreams that were precognitive.  I am familiar with how we can see what lies before us.  If you consider that there may be an as-yet understood ability within us that has to do with our ability to move through time in certain states of mind (which has no mass and thus breaks no laws about the whole issue with our supposed relativistic universe and the problem with carrying mass through the tunnel of time), then the possibility of moving through time becomes less woo-woo strangeness. And it is thus that other cultures like the Hopi, who have a long history as it relates to future events and predicting them with a great deal of accuracy.

The Hopi have long considered themselves the keepers of the balance of the earth.  It is something that they have taken on as a holy calling, these ancient people who have held true to the earth.  Their covenant with the creator has spoken of the need to remain here, to keep the balance so that the earth may not fall too far from the necessary balance.  Their experience has shown that the earth has had four major life-changing events that in the past has led to major extinctions of human life.  Each of these upsets have been called “worlds.”  We are currently in the Fifth world.  Theirs is a largely unwritten tradition, spoken the way songs are learned over the span of a life.  These stories serve as sign-posts of where we are in our progression through time, helping us to know how close we are to another major life-changing event in our world.  The Hopi have described the coming of the Whites, the building of roads “the size of rivers,” as well as the coming of the train, the tellegraph, and the lunar landing.  All of these insights have sought to reveal to them, and us, where we are.  Amongst the Hopi, though, they explain that the purpose of prophecy is not to say what WILL happen, but what WILL happen if we do not change our course in the present time line that we are in.  Because, you see, the Hopi know that what they have seen in their visions and dreams that foretell the future, is just an effort at helping us to navigate to the best outcome.  This is fundamentally different from the Judeo-Christian outlook that is more or less locked into one singular outcome.  The only problem with this way of dealing with life is that…..regardless of what humanity has done to avert disaster, disaster must come if the truth of their father god is to be brought to bear and their faith rewarded. This is an attitude very much in keeping with the tide of paternalism that has gripped our kind of countless centuries.  It is inflexible, and it is unrealistic.  Now you might wonder, if I had seen the future with such clarity, then why wasn’t it changed?  Thing is, for me, for whatever reason, most of my insights into the future have all been on a short-cycle of seeing.  Most of my dreams have had to do with events about a month ahead. I don’t think that the purpose of the dream was to even offer an opportunity to change anything, not at least at the time that they were seen by me. However, the further one goes into the future, the greater the possibility there is to change the outcome of events.  When the schedule shifts from weeks to centuries, which is the scales that the Hopi have, we have been afforded much more time to consider where we are and make an effort to make change collectively.

Amongst other tribes here on the North American continent, there is the mention of what is often called the Cleansing Time or Day of Cleansing. This is not a day but a period of time, and all of the tribes say that this is where we are right now.  Rolling Thunder, a noted medicine man had a series of visions about what the content of this Cleansing would be.  He saw how many volcanic eruptions would happen during this time.  He saw the rise of super-storms.  He taught that regardless of what you might think about matter being “out there” in a materialistic way and unhitched from each of us, that in truth, we are all connected to Gaia, to Mother Earth.  Because we are, our actions, even our thoughts, he contended, was all part of the cumulative effect that the earth as a dynamic system, feels. I know that might seem “out there” but the tribes of this land have some interesting things to show us about how we and the earth are connected and that the materialistic view of the universe is a model that is incomplete and left wanting when their knowledge base comes into the picture. I will give you an example….

Not long ago, the Hopi elders began to realize that they were being shown that it was time for them to move where they lived.  In the area of the desert where they used to live, normally there is not enough rainfall to support a subsistence lifestyle.  However, despite what happens just outside of their community, they have been able to grow corn and keep close to the earth.  When the Hopi moved their community, they took the sand from the bed of the dry river bed that would fill up with water when the rains would come.  They took this sand and placed it in a dry river bed that had not seen rain in decades.  In fact, if you had taken a survey of the new location, anyone in their “right” minds would have urged them NOT to move to this new location!  After all, this new location had been parched, dry and devoid of rain.  But what the Hopi showed was that after they had taken the sand from the river bed from their old home and placed it in their new home, the rain that had fallen in their old home began to fall in their new one.  We would call this a miracle, but the Hopi see it as how they and the earth are part of a larger dynamic system where need is met by the intelligence that exists within the earth.  This is something that cannot be understood using traditional models, hence we slather it with the explanation that it is a miracle or the will of God.  But it is more than this. The Hopi know that when we live in balance and harmony with the system of the earth, that it will allow for changes that we make.  It is a system that is flexible enough to allow for this.

The Hopi also have a prophecy about what will take place in our era.  It is the subject of one of the few written or drawn depictions of the prophecies surrounding our entrance into the 5th World. The picture that the elders drew on stone show two lines, lines that show the life-path of human beings on the planet.  One path is jagged and another lifts upward in a straight line.  The Hopi foresaw that there would be a time when there would be a dividing of the Way.  One path would be dangerous and filled with chaos while another would be more steady and upward to a new kind of life.  This is as specific as the prophecy gets, but is perhaps all that we really need to know as a lesson to take from these people who have kept close to Mother Earth.

I think we are in this time of divergence now.  I think that there is time to change what road you are on.  This period I sense is not a given day or moment in time, but is a time period.  Instead of following the more rigid sense contained within Western perspectives about end times, we are like children who are given ample opportunities to learn and develop.  Each choice has its ramifications.  Make enough mistakes or missteps, and it gets harder and harder for you to get back into a more sustainable or peaceful way of being.  The picture of this rock is below.  You will see that the upper line terminates into a wavy path while the lower path, the path the Hopi seek to keep, is rooted to the earth.  They warn that there will come a time when people will be drawn from the earth, but in order to stay with the earth during its changes is critical for remaining in the progression of the worlds here.

Hopirock

The elders are clear that the depiction, as simple and straightforward as it is, is about a choice we each will have to make.  And what will that mean?  What are the ramifications of those choices?  What do the result of those choices look like?  For the Hopi, the answer is simple.  No matter what, they seek to remain with the Earth and to serve balance so that they and others will have the opportunity to continue in the spiral of our evolution as a species. Already, we are told, our use of fossil fuels are warming our atmosphere.  This, if it is correct, will have long-term effects, which will include severe weather, and the shifting of verdant regions into dry lands and dry lands, possibly, into more wet regions. But for the Hopi, it is more than just carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.  It is about a prevailing attitude in our own inner atmospheres that has helped to bring this through our collective efforts in driving automobiles, heating our homes, and building civilization.  And for everything that means, it means an impact of some kind.  We each have had a choice of what that impact would mean.  It might seem like we have no choice about where our lumber comes from, or if we use lumber from rainforests, or palm oil that we know is fueling a deforestation in parts of Indonesia, wiping away rainforest and homes for a wide range of creatures.  We know that we can choose to source our energy from wind and solar and hydro.  We can do more of this and lower our impact and that when there are enough of us who choose differently, these choices have an affect on our biosphere here.

We are getting closer to the entry into the 5th world.  It may be that all that we have done so far will be the “event” that will make it difficult for humanity to remain in the numbers here that we have thus far achieved.  But such an achievement, without keeping the balance of life in mind and action, our part can make it difficult for our story to continue here in the way it has thus far.  The thing is, we are smart enough to find ways to no longer create any more impacts on our earth and cease causing harm.  Awareness in the last few decades has grown and I remain hopeful.

I write about this because in my own experience I have had things that have tied directly into this Day of Cleansing.  That we are here at this time is fortuitous.  If we are to change, it will be because of a shift in awareness and also in action.  The world of commerce as it has stood is changing, and it needs to change much more.  The people who stood at its pinnacle were themselves hardly what I would call aware or awake individuals, but governed by their own fear and greed.  But they got in early and rose to the top with so much money and thus power and influence, that they continue to shape our world in important ways, and many do so behind the scenes in a way that is not good for our collective health, just their own limited self-interest.  We share the same earth and none of us owns it, for it is a gift.  It is not a realm to pillage, but a gift to be honored, preserved, and kept clean.  We need to put our creativity and our intelligence to the task.  We can come up with technologies that work WITH the nature of nature, not against it.  Using nature as the template, we can learn a lot from how this system had evolved. If we mimicked that nature more in our technology, we would be doing just what the Hopi have been calling for us to do, which is keeping close to the heart of the earth.

So here we are; witness the cleansing and what it means for you.  For me, it has meant a removal of the layers of dross that has been shoved down within my consciousness.  All of have this in abundance.  Most are not aware of it, but as I have said earlier, finding a way of raising awareness is a key component to becoming and evolving.  Instead of pulling away from the new, ask yourself what this change might mean, and how you can honor and support what is in your own highest.  If we all do this, we naturally support the highest for others.  I know that this might sound simplistic, but you will find that the more we work in higher dimensions of awareness and being, we naturally work in a realm of greater inclusivity, the place where life continues to be woven but in a broader scope.  It is in this larger scope that we are headed.  Let’s make that scope one that is marked by harmony, not marred by ignorance and greed.

When I first awoke I asked the energetic presence of kundalini what it was doing. I did this because this presence showed every sign of intelligence.  In the beginning, this is unnerving-feeling as though there is this intelligent energy that is there, but later, as the story unfolds more, it develops into something more complete and understandable.  Still wet behind the ears, I was still getting my footing. The energy immediately unfolded a scene within my mind’s eye as soon as I queried it.  I was shown a vivid image of a large warehouse full of boxes.  I was shown how “it” (the energy) and I were going to go through every single one of these boxes, opening each one, making a check mark for each box.  As each box was opened, something came out of them. What came out of them was stored emotion that had been shoved down at one time or another in my lifetime. I began calling this “the inventory.”

This inventory was the incredible backlog of repressed emotion and trauma from my life.  I was here to get rid of my baggage. Some of it touched on past lives.  In an earlier post, I describe how a being who announced himself as Sandalphon, bid me to get up in the early morning hours (4:00 a.m. on Good Friday to be exact) and come outside as I was shown how what I was going through was about emptying myself of all psycho/emotional material, even past life material.  In a very serious tone, he explained that this shift, this release, and cleansing would affect all times or lifetimes.  This was something of significant scope.  Understanding this now, I hope that you can perhaps know how foundational, precious, valuable, and important this kind of process and the mechanism within us that triggers the avalanche of “inventory” is.  U.G. Krishnamurti described this same process for him that he described in The Mystique of Enlightenment as when the “Saints go marching out” (as opposed to the saints marching in).

Looking at this image created in my mind, it was daunting, frustrating even, to see the sheer volume of boxes.  I knew that what I was being shown in my inner vision was accurate as to the sheer volume of material that needed to be removed.  It seemed like chipping away at a mountain.  Over the course of awakening, though, I have found myself in the midst of sudden rapid-fire releases, some of which were falling away by the dozens, like blips on a radar screen, going so fast I had no chance to see what they were even about.  Others, being more stubborn, were seen as they passed into the night.  Some I was able to pin to experiences in my past, some in this life, others from past lives.  All of them bore on this life even if their genesis was from an event in the past.  In each case I began feeling that this form of energetic release was not just clearing me here in this present time, but was also reconfiguring the past through other parallel time lines.  What I mean is that a block cleared now has the effect of clearing and redeeming all time. I could feel the tension in the block like a cord that tied the block through my life, as though some cable ran through my time-line in this life.  As it released, I could feel through past memory how it released all of the events in that past where the block came up as a problem or stumble.

We are all like this.  As I speak to people who are engaged in their awakening and “get” how important it is to allow blocks of this kind to go, it is clear that the whole world is just jammed packed with this stored material (whether anyone knows, realizes or is willing to acknowledge it).  It is work like this that we are here for.  When I sit in deep meditation on the Tao, on the Source, what I find is a brilliant and beautiful energy that resides in potential.  It is like an explosion that has been utterly frozen.  Somehow, in ways that I do not yet fully understand, this energy moves “out” of this state of pure unrealized potential into worlds like ours, effectively projecting itself into countless worlds wherein it is able to realize itself in creation.  It is through this creation that a clever kind of situation is set up wherein the potential is “realized” through many smaller parts.  This, of course, does not help anyone in knowing the All or the Tao, except by way of observing it at this level of awareness that monks, priests and shaman have all described at various times through history. This Tao is the small dot that exists in the center of the Shri Yantra mandalla, but before the dot even appears.  This dot is like the stone cast into the mirror-surfaced reality, sending ripples of phenomenon everywhere; this is an act of creation.  When I say all of this, realize that the Source of life exists both in and out of potential.  It is all, it is both.  It exists outside of time, just as all souls are radiations or projections into a reality such as ours here on earth. The radiation, though, is across all time all at once.  When you experience time as a dimension of experience, you effectively exist in a spacious present, as was described by Jane Robert’s trance personality Seth (they wrote a few notable books about the nature of reality, etc.).  Despite all of this, in each life, until the cords are cut and the blocks healed, these issues continue to haunt us.  The way out of them is through intent.  It is just that simple. You can tell yourself, even if you are scared to death to let go of all of your junk that you want to let go of it.  If it is something that you really do want, you can correct enough of the bad programming within you that will open enough doors within you to make it so.  Especially in awakening, which is already stirring you like nobodies’ business.  You are not powerless.  This is why we are here!  To do this work means the end of countless lives running over the same old ground!  This cleansing has far reaching implications not just individually, but for the planet, for the great well-spring of collective consciousness that is the human race.  It has and will continue to trigger a big shift globally that we are beginning to feel even now that will perhaps be messy, but will result in some significant changes when this process more or less “completes” itself (which is a misnomer because all of life and growth is a spiral that does not end, constantly looping back onto itself, but never in the exact same place as we spiral “upwards” in our evolution physically and spiritually on this planet).

As I move into a more accelerated period of block removal, and as I get down to the last bits in my energy body, I find myself in a new place.  I will be honest and say that such a rapid removal of these blocks can be unsettling for the fact that whether we like it or not, or whether we are willing to admit it or not, these blocks, negative, yes, have nonetheless formed a significant part of our lives.  They have mine.  While I have a lot in the rear-view mirror now that I can look back on and see how the loss of these dysfunctional behaviors that were energized by those old blocks were a saving grace to have gone, the truth is that the things remaining are the same in some ways to some of the first blocks.  Each one feels like the first time…..because in truth, they are in a way…..The very nature of these blocks is that in many ways, releasing them often means feeling them for the first time…..and I mean really feeling them…..as opposed to skirting them, brushing up against them, or having them kind of bundled up like a mummy within my body of memory…..there, yes, but not really being encountered fully enough to see it, know it, acknowledge it, and then let it go.

We are human.  It is easy to tell ourselves we are in such a different place, that we are “spiritual” now or awake and part of the cosmic federation of spirits.  🙂  Truth be told, our spirituality lies in every single corner of who we are, and most notably it lies also within our frailties.  THAT is our humanness.  It is also our spirituality.  Everything we do, good or bad, exists under the umbrella of what we call spiritual.  All of it. Wherever our presence and awareness goes, it is spirit.  We want to think of it as something beyond us, but it isn’t.  It is right here in the chores we do, the mundane and fantastic.  We want to spin stories about some ultimate truth, but this “truth” is something so broad that it is witnessed in each moment even as the world changes or the light in our bedroom changes, or how others change.  These are the 10,000 Things.  Within all of them is the One.  The Tao, Source….and this thing has levels layers just like us and escapes explanation because it can only truly be experienced.  And this glimpse?  It changes lives.  And we put all of this up on pedestals when we need to just keep it right here where we are.  We need it in fact in order to do the work of Awakening.

So digging deep, I continue this balancing act.  I find that the releases now require me to really focus on what the releases have offered to me in my present moment.  There is, for me, a real benefit to be found in keeping myself away from things that trigger me.  Why?  Some might say that “triggering” as we so often call it is a great way to focus on what remains. And they would be right!  But the difference for me now is that I am more aware than I ever have been during this current phase as I dig deep into the bottom of my barrel.  I can feel how I might be triggered.  Some part of me just knows. For me now, triggering tends to slow me down, like how a loop can catch you in a merry-go-round of the same old behavior.  And so it is important for me now to help support a new way of being, feeling, and experiencing.  It is like a gentle but persistent reminder to help support a new kind of life.  After all, an old story is being erased, revised, some pieces are being kept that belong to the soul’s purpose here, and there is a lot of chaff blowing out into the wind.

Even though I know that it is all nonessential material that I am removing, some part in my human side feels that moment like this is a goodbye.  Another part seems to pat my shoulder and say how it was never really something that served me in my highest. As all of this happens, though, the people and events that triggered me simply do not trigger me. And it was never really about them. The only problem I have ever come across has had everything to do with how I chose to feel or react to it.  This is not to say that I am aloof to injustice or lack in compassion, but just that I am so much clearer about who is taking part in the actions that lead to negative outcomes.  By becoming embroiled, or upset about it, I toss myself into the same bin with those who perpetrate the wrongs in our world.  It is on whomever is engaged in it.  Why should I be unclear about who is doing what?  Sometimes those fighting for peace are as embroiled in a war inwardly as those who are engaged in the physical warfare.  It is a tender balance, but it is one that is actually quite clear.  In the end, it is the essence of personal choice.  We have this as part of our individuality and our freewill.

Digging deep, while I find greater peace, I have also found that what remains has, for me, become more reactive in some ways for the simple fact that this is the stuff I have held on to the hardest.  It is the hardest to let go, I suppose.  These things represent a very stubborn part of my psyche, so I am approaching this last part in me with understanding, compassion, and patience.  Feeling shame or guilt or sorrow or hurt over it does little to help it to go.  the desire to just dig it out, does. So go easy on yourself.  Listen to what you need.  Take a walk, take a break, give yourself this time even if some part of you feels like you cannot afford it.  The infinite is spreading out before you, so why not take this time to do what it is you need?  We need never feel bad for giving ourselves this level of self care.

The hunger to be free grows with each step I take.  I wonder what lies ahead.  What does this new world look like?  As I think back on all that has been conferred on me, on what I know that I am capable of as I go forward, the possibilities really feel exciting.  Life can go from drudge to play so quickly. I am moving toward play.  I hope you do, too!

Namasté!

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