Archives for posts with tag: angel

Its been five years to the day that I began writing on WordPress, and my how time flies! It is also a date that is very close (within days) to the day of the full rise of kundalini five years prior to my incept date on Waking The Infinite. No, that wasn’t planned, it’s just how it happened (the blog and awakening). Since then, it’s been my pleasure to share with you the many insights I have been blessed with in my journey, as it’s been my sincere desire that some of it may help you in your own journey by being aware of what is possible.
With there never being a dull moment, I will share with you something that took place last night that I have not experienced before that took me by surprise. But first, a little back story….
Recently I posted about how the use of binaural beats can aid in inducing deep brain states. I even included a link to one such video that has resulted in some rather startling results. The audio I have been using has been tuned into the brain wave range of Delta and Theta brain wave activity and has helped me to quickly enter those states while still awake. Let me know if you want a copy, I am happy to send you the links.

This is the post link:  https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/binaural-beats-self-improvement-through-technology/
I am doing this work to aid in the healing of the last remaining block in my body. As I have written before, these blocks can be places where entities can attach to feed on the lower vibrational energy that these blocks create (we are actually creating this energy in the block). But once the light body is healed, the attraction ceases, the moths go elsewhere, and the light body is returned to a more pristine state. Energy goes from intense to smooth. Emotions are less disrupted. I have been keen to root out this last presence and heal the wound.

 
In the last meditation with this a few weeks ago, I had inner light activity that I associate with other consciousnesses entering my field. I used to experience them whenever I would think about another person such as the one who I thought was my soul twin. She would have a consistent color to her light as she would wink in with a brilliant star-light flash signaling “hi!”

 
This time, though, as part of my awareness was out of my body looking down through my light body, I saw a red flash that flared deep down in the lower core of my body. Inner mind said calmly, “That was the entity.” As soon as that happened, I felt it move for the first time….ever. It’s an odd sensation, much like how it might feel when something moves on top of the blankets; there is no sense of feeling movement except by way of the vibrations it makes. It has a hollow indirectness to it that feels so….curious. I hadn’t felt that since 2008 when I released from my body several entities who had took up shop in my field since who knows when. I knew they had all gone, all but one that remained too hard to see. “Huh?” I thought. I kind of shrugged and figured that I would root it out once I was ready. But it has remained very hard to see. I only became aware of it once I had cleared away all but one small area of blocks, which is where this little devil is. Interestingly, I have become increasingly aware of it in a variety of new ways. It isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I think it doesn’t want me to know or think about it….and it seems try to be as hidden as possible. I have seen how healers, even people who know how to remove entities will miss these because they are so dug in. Something is happening though; something is clarifying more and more.

 
Right after I saw its dim red flash indicating it’s presence on my right side down in my hip, I saw another light come in from about my heart chakra that was unlike any other light I have seen before. Normally when I close my eyes and see the flash of light of someone either feeling me or checking in, it’s a single well defined burst of light. I see them as being like starlight. some are big, some are small, but they always appear like that as thought reaches thought. I have learned to know who each light is over the years. I have known three such lights like this well, and they are all very different. Sometimes I can figure out who looks like what by simply sending a thought in a person’s direction and seconds later I see their colored light burst into view. The color reveals their soul’s essential vibratory rate. It is a lot like reading an aura. To see them I need to be relaxed, in the dark, and usually lying down. And no, this is not the effect that happens when you go into a darkened room where phosphene in the eyes shoot off creating bursts of light. These are different and most often happen up to an hour after going to bed. Plus, the lights are consistent in that they are the same size and color when I am thinking of that person. It’s like a projection of their thought energy and I’m just getting the end if the thread as this little burst that tells me who it is.

 
This “new” light was very different, though. It was larger, and it looked like it was composed of many smaller lights. I had never seen that before, so I watched it as it dove down towards the red light. It had the effect of seeing a light through a window screen with your face close to the screen. It created this effect of a tight cluster of golden light which, as I watched it, also looked like a distant candelabra in a cold room. Candles lit in cold conditions often quiver and pulse instead of being languid in their movement. As I gazed on it I knew what this was!

 
It was a seraph. A seraph means “fiery one” and the Seraphim are an ancient form of angelic being that has been described in Judaic thought as beings who surround God in their wings.And you might wonder how I made that connection. Well, when I looked at the many lights the movement and light spoke to me. It told me directly what it was. It was a direct transmission of energy.

 
For those of you who have followed my writing, you might recall my encounter with a being who revealed himself to me after what seemed to have been a 20 year absence, and who explained that he was a Seraphim. During my awakening, he had become visible to me again. The flash of pulsating fiery gold light was my angelic guide and protector emerging into my field of awareness again. As long as I had a certain person in my life, I was completely unable to see or feel him. But with my field clearing, he has begun making appearances again. To be honest, he has explained to me that he is with me all the time, I am his charge; it is I who does not always have the ability to feel him even though he is ever-present.

 
I watched his light as he plunged deep into my field and winked out. And then nothing. Huh. I continued with the meditation and drifted into sleep. Sometimes these events take place and then, boom, nothing. What I find is some kind of work is taking place just out of my range of awareness. Sometimes it becomes clear days, weeks, or months later.
And then there was last night.

 
I plugged in my headphones to my player and eased under my down comforter. I could feel it’s weight on my body, pushing me gently down. With the binaural beats coming in, I moved quickly into a deep state. I felt really relaxed, and happy. I have been getting so much done on my house getting it spruced up. I just felt very satisfied. And within seconds I began to feel it; the house began to shake. “Holy shit!” I thought, “there’s an earthquake!!” I laid in bed for what felt was thirty seconds as I felt the whole house vibrating in a trending vibration! I laid there, still deeply relaxed, waiting for plaster to begin breaking free from the ceiling, but there was not even the slightest whiff of dust.
I studied the vibration as it happened and I noticed how incredibly regular the tremors were. “My God, these vibrations are so perfectly spaced!” I had this thought rise in my mind that, you know, I probably ought to get up and try to get outside because I didn’t need to have my life end right then and there! I mean, I have been doing this exercise that has released so much of my fear over death, a practice or technique where I have literally purged fear of death from my cellular memory, with the perhaps unfortunate effect that I don’t feel very alarmed when “bad” things happen like oh, say, an earthquake!
As I lay there my guidance pointed out, “It’s too regular to be an earthquake…you are having a body quake…” And the joke was on me this time because for as real as that earthquake felt, as I studied it I realized that the source of the vibration was coming within me!

 
Was my body shaking? Was this like those early experiences in awakening when my body felt like it was being rung like a giant bell that had these deep repeating vibrations that shot through my whole being?

 
So it seems that something is unfolding, but I begin teaching again tomorrow, so who knows if my work will pause any of this very interesting work taking place.
As I lay there thinking about this and whether having this shady person no longer in my life has been allowing the veils to lift in my awareness I hear his voice explain, “Even when it’s someone else’s deceit in them, you can take it into yourself as if it is your own….but it is poison to all who dare drink of it!”
Live and learn…live and learn.

P.S. I’m all ready for school tomorrow and it’s time to get to bed, so it’s clothes out of the dryer and my things together for the big day. I’ll put the headphones on again and see where it takes me tonight. Fingers crossed!

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Amongst the aboriginal peoples of this land there are prophecies about a time in the future when the earth would become sick and be in need of cleansing.  The prophecies are rich in details.  I  know that some may cast askance at the mention of prophecy.  We think how hard it would be for anyone to predict future events; there are just so many variables, right?  My experience has been that there does exist within us the ability to anticipate events with a great deal of accuracy.  Growing up I had many very specific dreams about events that unfolded just as they had been dreamed….a neighbor who many years ago gave birth to twins who I saw in my dream who were blonde, a boy and a girl, in their crib, born of parents with dark hair, a real kind of impossibility in so many ways as a predictable outcome.  And yet, not only did my neighbor become pregnant, she gave birth to twins.  These twins were both blonde, a joke that some made about who the parents really were since their father was as dark-haired as could be, and their mother a lovely auburn.  Or, the dream about the explosion from an industrial building over Russia that sent a radioactive plume of white material up into the upper atmosphere that spread and travelled towards Europe, raining down as radioactive snow….an event so severe that the locals were trucked out using cargo trains, packing the people into them just to get them out.  In the dream I saw a meter counting the number of people and the last count was over 60,000 souls.  Three weeks later we saw the same event unfolding on the news.  At the end of the news broadcast it was explained that the people were being moved using freight cars and that over 60,000 people had already been moved out of the area as the radioactive cloud menaced Europe, raining down as radioactive snow.  These are just two of many dreams that were precognitive.  I am familiar with how we can see what lies before us.  If you consider that there may be an as-yet understood ability within us that has to do with our ability to move through time in certain states of mind (which has no mass and thus breaks no laws about the whole issue with our supposed relativistic universe and the problem with carrying mass through the tunnel of time), then the possibility of moving through time becomes less woo-woo strangeness. And it is thus that other cultures like the Hopi, who have a long history as it relates to future events and predicting them with a great deal of accuracy.

The Hopi have long considered themselves the keepers of the balance of the earth.  It is something that they have taken on as a holy calling, these ancient people who have held true to the earth.  Their covenant with the creator has spoken of the need to remain here, to keep the balance so that the earth may not fall too far from the necessary balance.  Their experience has shown that the earth has had four major life-changing events that in the past has led to major extinctions of human life.  Each of these upsets have been called “worlds.”  We are currently in the Fifth world.  Theirs is a largely unwritten tradition, spoken the way songs are learned over the span of a life.  These stories serve as sign-posts of where we are in our progression through time, helping us to know how close we are to another major life-changing event in our world.  The Hopi have described the coming of the Whites, the building of roads “the size of rivers,” as well as the coming of the train, the tellegraph, and the lunar landing.  All of these insights have sought to reveal to them, and us, where we are.  Amongst the Hopi, though, they explain that the purpose of prophecy is not to say what WILL happen, but what WILL happen if we do not change our course in the present time line that we are in.  Because, you see, the Hopi know that what they have seen in their visions and dreams that foretell the future, is just an effort at helping us to navigate to the best outcome.  This is fundamentally different from the Judeo-Christian outlook that is more or less locked into one singular outcome.  The only problem with this way of dealing with life is that…..regardless of what humanity has done to avert disaster, disaster must come if the truth of their father god is to be brought to bear and their faith rewarded. This is an attitude very much in keeping with the tide of paternalism that has gripped our kind of countless centuries.  It is inflexible, and it is unrealistic.  Now you might wonder, if I had seen the future with such clarity, then why wasn’t it changed?  Thing is, for me, for whatever reason, most of my insights into the future have all been on a short-cycle of seeing.  Most of my dreams have had to do with events about a month ahead. I don’t think that the purpose of the dream was to even offer an opportunity to change anything, not at least at the time that they were seen by me. However, the further one goes into the future, the greater the possibility there is to change the outcome of events.  When the schedule shifts from weeks to centuries, which is the scales that the Hopi have, we have been afforded much more time to consider where we are and make an effort to make change collectively.

Amongst other tribes here on the North American continent, there is the mention of what is often called the Cleansing Time or Day of Cleansing. This is not a day but a period of time, and all of the tribes say that this is where we are right now.  Rolling Thunder, a noted medicine man had a series of visions about what the content of this Cleansing would be.  He saw how many volcanic eruptions would happen during this time.  He saw the rise of super-storms.  He taught that regardless of what you might think about matter being “out there” in a materialistic way and unhitched from each of us, that in truth, we are all connected to Gaia, to Mother Earth.  Because we are, our actions, even our thoughts, he contended, was all part of the cumulative effect that the earth as a dynamic system, feels. I know that might seem “out there” but the tribes of this land have some interesting things to show us about how we and the earth are connected and that the materialistic view of the universe is a model that is incomplete and left wanting when their knowledge base comes into the picture. I will give you an example….

Not long ago, the Hopi elders began to realize that they were being shown that it was time for them to move where they lived.  In the area of the desert where they used to live, normally there is not enough rainfall to support a subsistence lifestyle.  However, despite what happens just outside of their community, they have been able to grow corn and keep close to the earth.  When the Hopi moved their community, they took the sand from the bed of the dry river bed that would fill up with water when the rains would come.  They took this sand and placed it in a dry river bed that had not seen rain in decades.  In fact, if you had taken a survey of the new location, anyone in their “right” minds would have urged them NOT to move to this new location!  After all, this new location had been parched, dry and devoid of rain.  But what the Hopi showed was that after they had taken the sand from the river bed from their old home and placed it in their new home, the rain that had fallen in their old home began to fall in their new one.  We would call this a miracle, but the Hopi see it as how they and the earth are part of a larger dynamic system where need is met by the intelligence that exists within the earth.  This is something that cannot be understood using traditional models, hence we slather it with the explanation that it is a miracle or the will of God.  But it is more than this. The Hopi know that when we live in balance and harmony with the system of the earth, that it will allow for changes that we make.  It is a system that is flexible enough to allow for this.

The Hopi also have a prophecy about what will take place in our era.  It is the subject of one of the few written or drawn depictions of the prophecies surrounding our entrance into the 5th World. The picture that the elders drew on stone show two lines, lines that show the life-path of human beings on the planet.  One path is jagged and another lifts upward in a straight line.  The Hopi foresaw that there would be a time when there would be a dividing of the Way.  One path would be dangerous and filled with chaos while another would be more steady and upward to a new kind of life.  This is as specific as the prophecy gets, but is perhaps all that we really need to know as a lesson to take from these people who have kept close to Mother Earth.

I think we are in this time of divergence now.  I think that there is time to change what road you are on.  This period I sense is not a given day or moment in time, but is a time period.  Instead of following the more rigid sense contained within Western perspectives about end times, we are like children who are given ample opportunities to learn and develop.  Each choice has its ramifications.  Make enough mistakes or missteps, and it gets harder and harder for you to get back into a more sustainable or peaceful way of being.  The picture of this rock is below.  You will see that the upper line terminates into a wavy path while the lower path, the path the Hopi seek to keep, is rooted to the earth.  They warn that there will come a time when people will be drawn from the earth, but in order to stay with the earth during its changes is critical for remaining in the progression of the worlds here.

Hopirock

The elders are clear that the depiction, as simple and straightforward as it is, is about a choice we each will have to make.  And what will that mean?  What are the ramifications of those choices?  What do the result of those choices look like?  For the Hopi, the answer is simple.  No matter what, they seek to remain with the Earth and to serve balance so that they and others will have the opportunity to continue in the spiral of our evolution as a species. Already, we are told, our use of fossil fuels are warming our atmosphere.  This, if it is correct, will have long-term effects, which will include severe weather, and the shifting of verdant regions into dry lands and dry lands, possibly, into more wet regions. But for the Hopi, it is more than just carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.  It is about a prevailing attitude in our own inner atmospheres that has helped to bring this through our collective efforts in driving automobiles, heating our homes, and building civilization.  And for everything that means, it means an impact of some kind.  We each have had a choice of what that impact would mean.  It might seem like we have no choice about where our lumber comes from, or if we use lumber from rainforests, or palm oil that we know is fueling a deforestation in parts of Indonesia, wiping away rainforest and homes for a wide range of creatures.  We know that we can choose to source our energy from wind and solar and hydro.  We can do more of this and lower our impact and that when there are enough of us who choose differently, these choices have an affect on our biosphere here.

We are getting closer to the entry into the 5th world.  It may be that all that we have done so far will be the “event” that will make it difficult for humanity to remain in the numbers here that we have thus far achieved.  But such an achievement, without keeping the balance of life in mind and action, our part can make it difficult for our story to continue here in the way it has thus far.  The thing is, we are smart enough to find ways to no longer create any more impacts on our earth and cease causing harm.  Awareness in the last few decades has grown and I remain hopeful.

I write about this because in my own experience I have had things that have tied directly into this Day of Cleansing.  That we are here at this time is fortuitous.  If we are to change, it will be because of a shift in awareness and also in action.  The world of commerce as it has stood is changing, and it needs to change much more.  The people who stood at its pinnacle were themselves hardly what I would call aware or awake individuals, but governed by their own fear and greed.  But they got in early and rose to the top with so much money and thus power and influence, that they continue to shape our world in important ways, and many do so behind the scenes in a way that is not good for our collective health, just their own limited self-interest.  We share the same earth and none of us owns it, for it is a gift.  It is not a realm to pillage, but a gift to be honored, preserved, and kept clean.  We need to put our creativity and our intelligence to the task.  We can come up with technologies that work WITH the nature of nature, not against it.  Using nature as the template, we can learn a lot from how this system had evolved. If we mimicked that nature more in our technology, we would be doing just what the Hopi have been calling for us to do, which is keeping close to the heart of the earth.

So here we are; witness the cleansing and what it means for you.  For me, it has meant a removal of the layers of dross that has been shoved down within my consciousness.  All of have this in abundance.  Most are not aware of it, but as I have said earlier, finding a way of raising awareness is a key component to becoming and evolving.  Instead of pulling away from the new, ask yourself what this change might mean, and how you can honor and support what is in your own highest.  If we all do this, we naturally support the highest for others.  I know that this might sound simplistic, but you will find that the more we work in higher dimensions of awareness and being, we naturally work in a realm of greater inclusivity, the place where life continues to be woven but in a broader scope.  It is in this larger scope that we are headed.  Let’s make that scope one that is marked by harmony, not marred by ignorance and greed.

Orange Closeup sizedYour heart center is one of the most amazing creations you could ever believe. It can literally lead you to a place within yourself and the universe that you simply did not know existed. Those are tall words, I know, but it is true. I am not talking syrupy sweetness, but a connection to a force that will leave you without words. In fact, for some who have experienced the profundity of a heart opening they can be left feeling at odd ends in a world like ours. I did.

But what it showed me was something so revolutionary that I was dumbfounded. When this event took place the first time, I was as I usually am with things like this; observing carefully. I don’t know what it is, perhaps it is the acceleration in consciousness that does this, but it seems as though I am operating on multiple channels at once. That might sound a bit hard to wrap your head around, but I have observed that when we shift focus from our normal way of being a LOT can be experienced in a VERY short period of time. As if time is slowed down even as it flows at normal speed. Perhaps as though some part of me steps out of ordinary earthly time and can spend a lot of “time” observing what is taking place. And what have I found?

I have found that these heart openings, which some call union with the divine, are a matter of our choice. This is not a mental choice that we make, but a deep fundamental one, and as a result is less about thinking as it is with feeling. And for me, it was like being taken by the divine. The only way this could have happened the way it did was that I had had enough experiences with my own inner yin or divine feminine. The level of receptivity and willingness to take something within myself is something that quite honestly was not part of my functional framework as a male. Wasn’t I the initiating energy? Well yes. But there is way more to these experiences than that. Without the receptive inward flowing energy of the feminine I don’t know I would have been able to feel this in the way I did.

But it was a choice. Something inside of me just opened up. Completely. In one case I was skimming a book online about Nondual Saivism called The Triadic Heart Of Siva. What was so interesting was that right after I had the first opening in a spontaneous way, the book went on to begin to describe openings of the heart, something I had never heard of before. It was as though in that moment something in me anticipated this and then experienced it. It is as though something was telling me I didn’t need a book to tell me how this was done. This repeated itself later the same day. The physical result was that I felt my body arch upward and my head flew back uncontrollably. It was such a powerful feeling I could not help but react in this way. This is not something I would call a kriya (involuntary movement) in the typical sense, but is itself a natural response we all seem to have when experiencing such powerful flows of divine energy.

the first initiation into these heart openings happened early one morning when a being came into my room who announced that his name was Sandalphon and that he was a Seraphim. He reached into my heart center and pulled out what felt like a body….a body without bones. Yes, I know, that is kind of weird. However, the feeling was incredibly vivid, which helped to highlight what then took place, which was that a major clearing had taken place in my body. All through my upper torso I felt a sense of clarity and lack of clutter. I had a distinct sensation of two spots in my upper lungs that felt as though something had been pulled away. It was tender. The tender spot was at my back near my shoulder blades. I was told by this being that he was going to take this dark mass of energy and show it to “Source.”

Over the course of a few days this being showed up again and explained that he had been my protector, showing me an image of himself as he appeared to me over 20 years ago during a time when I was seeing him a lot during efforts I was making at the time to project consciousness from my body. I was at the time wanting to experience this with the thought that in so doing I could conquer fear of death. It seemed like a reasonable thing, like how the Tibetans have their Book Of the Dead to help prepare for life beyond the physical body. If you know me, you know that I have never been one to go in for angels. But here he was, showing up as unusually tall, stooping in order to stand in my bedroom. When I went online to type in his name, he was described as one of the tallest of the angels.

It would turn out that there is an account, nearly identical to my own that was written by a Christian mystic who lived in the 1500’s by the name of St. Teresa of Avila who had an experience with an angel who pulled her insides out of her while she was on fire with a “great love of God.” This angel took an arrow tipped in gold fire and plunged it into her heart whereupon he pulled out something that felt like her insides. Exactly! But only ONE account? Is that all?

Heart openings put us in touch with our native ability to connect with the divine at a level that is difficult to even put into words. It is so singular an experience it is hard to square with anything else. I think if I was able to connect into that kind of energy on a more continual basis, I think that my process of inner cleansing would be so much the faster. But maybe the point is to catalyze us with these singular experiences to show us how we, as humans, can touch upon so much more.

So how? Surrender. A deep state of surrender that is complete and total. To do this requires that you let go of all fear, all resistance. Once this is overcome or released, little stands in the way. It is I think also the result of a deep desire to reconnect with this lost part of ourselves. It seems to require a willingness that goes from toe to crown, and something in you just opens up. The feeling in the heart is one of unusual expansiveness. The feeling I had in the back of my mind was “really? I am opening up THAT MUCH?” Yes. That much.

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In the last few days I have been out with family kayaking one of the oldest rivers in the world that happens to snake its way through our region of the Blue Ridge and Alleghenies. So old, this river runs from south to north, a river whose bed was established long before the earth shifted its physical axis. We are kind of proud of her. And so it was that as my daughter and I stood skipping stones in the river I found a rock shaped perfectly into a heart. It reminded me of another event where every stone I picked up was heart shaped. The message then as now is that love is the single most important thing, and when we can go beyond the things that serve to limit us, what is left is without limit. Our concept of love also changes in the process. All of the little loves in our life….love of our job, family, hobbies, and more are like subsets of a larger canopy overarching all of these other perfectly valid forms of love…..a kind of BIG LOVE that is waiting for each and every one of us.

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I love this time of year.  I do.  I was born just a few days before Spring and even as I grew up in a warm semi-tropical climate,  I did not experience seasons for the first six years of my life, but my move to the mountains of Virginia revealed to me the great wonder that is Spring.  There have been so many important hallmarks in my life that have involved Spring, from my own birth, to the births of others in my family as well as to significant events, all choosing to take place during this special window of time when the earth is beginning to loosen and open and awaken to new life.  It is so special because, perhaps,  it is also a brief happening.  The buds come out in stages, then the trees all leaf out and then usually by May, its all fully unfolded.  It is, though, a marvelous catalytic event that brings so much to us in so many ways.  At least it is that way for me.

It isn’t just the spring flowers that are poking up.  Its the buds that begin, even now, to begin their gradual greening and burgeoning.  Its like this gentle but subtle movement to being.  Pushed by growing daylight, carried by warming days, and made more fertile and possible by rain.

The new mystery flower buds up close

The new mystery flower buds up close

When awakening took a deeper turn in my life, I was awakened at four-thirty in the morning by a presence I had known about for years but who had suddenly made a re-entry into my life in a more active way, perhaps because my own inner sensing was more active by what awakening offered or brought.  Now, to understand, I am a DEEP sleeper.  So deep, in fact, that I used to need an alarm clock that would continually go off and insist that I get up, just to get up.  Yes, I sleep deep. Its one of my super powers, actually!  Waking up at four-thirty in the morning was simply not something I normally have been known to do.  At all.  And yet, this presence, an angel, actually, who had introduced himself again to me, seemed fond of getting me up at this same period during the mornings in order to administer some teaching or healing of one kind or another.  This angel,  who had roused me from my sleep,  insisted that I go outside.  “Go.  Now.” he said.  So I dutifully roused and got my clothes on enough to make the journey.  Bleary-eyed, I stood at the back of my yard and wondered what was going on.  I looked up at the still-night sky and waited for whatever it was that was so important.

He pointed me off in one direction and bid me look.  I will explain what I mean by what it was that I saw when he told me to look….I was aware that my third-eye was active.  I was seeing with my physical as well as inner eyes.  Do you know this effect?  It can happen when your eyes are closed and it feels as though you are looking through your closed eyelids.  You get a definite sense of space.  Something almost just behind your eyes opens up. There is a sense of expansiveness, of space every bit as real as what you sense with your physical eyes (except for me it actually feels more spacious than physical space—does that make any sense?).   That is at least one symptom I can point to to describe what I was feeling/seeing.  Okay, so you get the idea….so on with the narrative……As I did this, I saw a large hallways open up and I somehow knew that each door represented a lifetime.  All these lifetimes. He then bade me pay attention to what was about to happen next.  An odd thing took place!  The hallways that opened up in front of me lifted up and turned, like how you might imagine how a large boat would sink in the ocean; the hallway just lifted upwards on its far end and suddenly was like a slide of sorts.  I had the awareness of all of this material being shaken out of all of those lifetimes.  The dross.  All that was not necessary.  Like a paper bag that you tilt up on one side to let all the material come falling out.  He explained to me how this life was seminal in how this act would take place, that it was taking place and would continue to take place.  THIS was THAT life!

So you might be asking yourself what this has to do with Spring.  As I stood there, soaking this all up and waiting to see if there was anything more this being had to say to me, I then went back inside and went to my bed where I then fell fast asleep.  It turned out that the day was Good Friday.  At the time, I didn’t know that.  The next day, as I rode through the mountains from the Blue Ridge Mountains where I live to the Alleghenies where I have my studio (I am only a few miles from this eastern continental divide), I noticed something that I had not noticed even the previous day, which was that as I came into the Allegheny side of things, everything was just beginning to get a haze of GREEN on all the trees.  You know that look.  It’s the first visible sign of Spring after all the early bulbs come up.  The trees come in a little later.  But this year, the trees all began to bud out a little earlier than usual.  As I thought about all of this, the confluence of Spring, the trees, Good Friday, and my image of the many lifetimes being cleared out, I saw how it was that this was itself one giant opportunity for new life to emerge, for new beginnings to grow after a slumber of lifetimes.  All of this, nature and us (who are a part of nature), are waking up just as all life awakens in the slim path of Spring.  This, for me, is why I have loved Spring so much.  It is new life!  New beginnings, a chance around this Great Wheel.  Each time, we can bear our shortcomings and seeming failures into the new opportunities that are being offered, which is as perennial as the grass, the hope that love instills on the greatest and the least of us…..which has the power to raise each of us to equal stature with all of our kin, sentient and non, on this planet.

And you might be wagging your finger here pointing out that “Good” Friday was a day when Jesus was Crucified. And well, yes, and so all of this has itself been a death.  In the case of Jesus and with life here, death is followed by rebirth (for plants blooming, in a fashion, as well as for Jesus in his own drama so long ago).  So a death, yes, for death itself was certainly turning in my life (and continues to do so) with the end being also the beginning.  And so, as one dies, there is also this new life which I saw take place the very next day.  Good Friday, itself, varies, so it is actually uncommon to see everything budding out in our part of the country so early. But it does happen, and it certainly happened almost as if by magic the next day.  The promise of new life, continuity, rebirth, renewal.

It helps me to continually reflect how I can bring more healing, more growth, more new buds out into my own life, to make sense of the love both given and denied, in my life and to learn how to better hold all love in my life….since Spring is itself bestowed to us all just as the greatest of love is bestowed.  But it is true, I think, that we each, including myself, can gain from being able to see things more clearly, less as we are and more as they are.  Somehow, Spring seems to remind me of this, and it makes me hopeful even as Winter loosens it grip and gives us here in this region, at least, a taste of the turning seasons.  Spring!  Spring!  Spring!

Bud closup sized

So it is that I regard Spring, celebrate it, welcome it, and breathe it in.  Born into it, I am born out of it, and look forward to it to come once the leaves begin to fall and everything goes to slumber again.

I hope that you can breathe in this new life into yourself…to stand out in the still-cold grass and feel the pulse and flow that is beginning to leak out through all things.  From here on out, it will be like a voice that will grow stronger and stronger….its spirit lies just beneath the ice, as drip drip drip, that ice slowly and gradually thaws.  Me, I NEED it.  Each time I pray for it to help me to understand more and more of my inner mysteries, old haunts and pains and mistakes and help me to realize them into new form.   This, I think, for me, is part of the promise of Spring!

St Teresa of Avilla was a carmelite nun living in Spain who became known for her writing on her experiences with religious ecstasy. It is interesting that she described the rising of the divine force in her body through seven crystaline rooms.  These rooms led to a central room where full union with the divine took on the ultimate in her experience.  She wrote about her experiences so that there is a goof first-hand account of what she went through.  What is so remarkable is how each of these rooms corresponds to perfectly with the character of the chakra system of the Hindus, a system that I have found to be very much on the mark as a way of describing how the energy feels in each of these main vortices of energy.  Teresa was adamant about how union with divine occurred; it was only through the self that one could know the divine.  It was not something that took place outside of ones own capacity to feel and known inwardly. It rose up within the most intimate of places within you, something that did not come from outside and impinged on your awareness but a doorway in the most sacred and secret of places within.  I did not come to her work early on in awakening, but only after someone mentioned her as having had an awakening.

When I awoke, I did not know what was happening to me.  I had read Gopi Krishna’s book on kundalini when I was a teenager and truth be told, I don’t know how one can really describe the experience in any other way than the one that goes over your head. At least it did for me.  Even though I knew a lot about a good many things related to alternate states of consciousness, THIS was a horse of a different color.  Over a year into my awakening, I began to experience an acceleration of the force within me that made life very difficult for me.  I had experienced what I now call an “energetic reset” in my feeling centers of energy by a healer who was also kundalini awakened.  This reset resulted in my suddenly feeling all of the junk in my field acutely and with horrific pain.  I went through this period of suffering for about another year until I discovered the ways that helped to lessen this pain.  The term many use for this pain is “painbody” and it came about as a result of my becoming more sensitive to etheric tension and pain that had been present in my field, a pain that was so constant that I had simply tuned it all out.  It was during this period of increasing awareness and pain that I began to have a series of beings all visit me and teach me things about how I most needed to be.  This was possible through what I knew was a much more active sense in my third eye and also clairaudience, the capacity to hear voices in the ether.  Slowly, bit by bit, I began to assemble a toolkit for dealing with a backlog of psychic material that was now bearing down on me.

Through all of this one of the most unexpected connections to the life of a Christian saint, Teresa, happened when a seraphim entered my room and pulled something out of my body.  I have written about this before here so I will save you.  My then-wife scolded me when I told her about the experience.  I explained that when I went on the internet to look up the name the angel told me, I found him counted amongst the seraphim, and his extremely tall stature in my room was consistent with the descriptions of him in ancient texts.  For her, I was just off in some la-la land.  But what had happened in those early predawn hours was a pivotal event that moved me through the process of awakening in ways I could not have predicted.  Some nine months later, I stumbled across a book that Teresa had written when someone explained how she was obviously describing an experience with kundalini.  I read through the book, Entering The Castle,  and I discovered an encounter that she had had with an angel that was so similar to my own experience that I sat gape-mouthed as she described it.  She explained how an angel had pulled her insides out of her body and that her entire being was suddenly on fire with a great love of God.

In the wake of this experience, I thought that this process of loosening or removal of etheric material from the light body must represent a kind of spiritual surgery that is possible to do, and that we may all have some degree of this material in our own bodies.  For me, this felt like something alive, organic, but also was something that had somehow rested in me far too long and needed to be removed. For as realistic as all of this felt as it happened, I knew that it was what we feel in the etheric or astral realm….which I feel is one step away from the physical yet overlaps so that the physical body actually registers the experience as very nearly real or native to its own senses.

I am reminded, too, of how some types of shaman will utilize a technique they call “sucking” which is a physical indicator of drawing away etheric or spiritual energy from the body of the diseased individual.  In his book Rolling Thunder, Doug Boyd describes a healing ceremony that the shaman Rolling Thunder performs wherein he sucks the sickness out of a mans body.  He then releases this energy through the act of vomiting.  The drama of the moment no doubt has a positive effect in sealing the deal for the patient who sees all of this happening as it helps to cement that something very real is happening and being accomplished.  I have observed that pain in the etheric body can feel like pain in the physical body, especially upon awakening.  How many times do we go to the doctor complaining of a malady that they are unable to find a source for?  Is it that some of our lack of ease (disease) lies first in the nonphysical, and if it is allowed to rest there long enough, can move into a manifestation of a very real physical malady?  Certainly I have seen how one feels has a very big effect on physical chemistry.  Dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline, all have turned on a dime in my own body as I have observed a moment by moment interaction between thinking feeling and physical being.  I know that the idea of “psychic surgery” is looked askance by many in the mainstream, but I wonder if it is a way for people to divest of difficult material within that could result in problems later if it hangs around long past its expiration date?

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