My awakening was not a standard text book experience. Because awakenings are happening in these ways that are different from what some of the guru’s of India are familiar with, I think that it helps to point to a range of possibilities for those of us in the West who are awakening in large numbers, spontaneously, without a guru, and often without a practice.
Awakening, or kundalini, for me, was triggered as the result of working through an old feeling that had tied me up in knots for years. When this knot was removed, I began having a whole range of odd, even bizarre experiences over a six month period that were all directly attributable to awakening symptoms. I just didn’t know that it was kundalini at the time. In a real way, I was able to witness awakening without any biases built into it at first.
My awakening came in stages so that there was less of a chaotic beginning associated with the experience than some accounts I have read about. It all began with the initial catalyzing moment that removed an emotional/energetic block from my awareness which left me feeling a whole range of effects from it from that moment onward. This was prior to the text book”rising” event, though, which came five months from this first initiatory event. The thing I want to point out here is that this initiatory event I am describing was simple. I got over a decades-long issue I had between me and the universe that had unwittingly had me tied up in knots. It had also, unwittingly, also tied up my own awareness of energy in a fuller way as well. This I identified was a simple unitary state of being that I identify as having been central to the awakening process. I think everyone comes to it in their own way, but if you have experienced awakening, I think you will probably find that there was a unitary state that helped to kick things off in a deeper way. This could be brought on by a deep soul-searching sense of questioning, “Is this all there is?” or a feeling of reaching a point where you feel as if what you have been doing all this time wasn’t working….and there has to be a better way. In still other cases, a deep shock can happen that draws the self into itself, drawing on its inner resources perhaps in a new or novel way….the unitary state in hiding, waiting for that one simple moment to arise.
Three days after this release happened, I had the first moment of nondual experience. This was very simple, light, and beautiful. Sublime, actually. It was three in the afternoon and I was walking alone during a slow period at a festival where I was selling my work. It came over me as this hard to pin feeling that grew in me like a flower blooms. I suddenly knew that I belonged and that I was part of this really vast “family” that included….well…everything…all the way down to the subatomic particles in atoms in the universe. Quite suddenly, there was this pregnant moment filled not just with potential, but with an elegant and quiet awareness that seemed to rise up all around me, and was also within me. I stepped into that unitary awareness that had eluded me for so long because without realizing it, I had lived for so long with my guard up. Guard up about what? Who knows, really. The moment made me feel like I was melting gracefully, gratefully, and gently. There were no fireworks, no engines revving. It was simple, quiet, elegant, and beautiful. I was part of this universe which was at its core aware and alive in ways that had escaped my deeper awareness. I may have known the universe was alive before, but I hadn’t felt it. I hadn’t known it like you know your child or your cat.
It was novel how it anchored me in the moment while instantaneously setting me free. This was a clear and pristine experience. There are many others who have described just such an experience, this light sublime moment that can move you to tears. When first touched, it is light and delightful. It softened my heart as I was moved to tears. I am unable to accurately describe such an experience. It was and is a singular moment in my life.
Only later did the energy, more deeply situated, begin to churn into my body and self. This intensity is I mention is often associated with the “rising” event. Kundalini can approach you for many months before the rising, which was the case for me. it was as though the energy moved onto the stage with a light touch, but as I was more deeply effected, it felt more and more intense. I have always had the sense that this intensity was always tied to how I responded to it. At the same time, I also knew that its intensity was also what was sweeping away all of the old material that only created discord within me, especially once this central energy began moving and making its home in me.
You can live with all kinds of unusual symptoms, unaware of what is taking place, but knowing with a certain degree of inner certainty that something is up. I know that I did. it is a bit like seeing a puzzle being assembled right before your eyes, but being unable to put together what is all means when the symptoms (puzzle pieces) are all so disparate from one another. Only later did the pieces begin to knit themselves together into a cogent image sometimes. This also meant that I was free to see things as they were without any idea whatsoever what they meant or might mean for me. I think that by being a blank slate, I could begin to make observations that a belief system might have blinded me to.
The next stage after this initial epiphany experience was a six month period I called “high strangeness” that included hearing sounds, music, and voices as I lay meditating in the near-darkness of my bedroom each night. These effects were all so scattered apart that it was hard for me to pin them down as even being related. I could have thought that something was wrong with me, but I have been having things like this happening to me since I was a child, and there was nothing about it that pointed to any serious issues like psychosis or, say, a brain tumor.
After this six month period, I had an initial rising event that placed me squarely into another world energetically. It was very much as though I had gone from using gasoline to jet fuel. It all happened very quickly and while it was not disorienting, it was a lot to keep up with, to understand in a big picture way.
My dreams during this period changed dramatically. I had what I called my “A Christmas Carol” dreams which would last all night and would involve detailed reviews of my life and its contents and would leave me waking drenched in sweat. These were dashes through my life that would take up all night. These dreams began to usher in hidden or submerged knowledge that often were precognitive, containing information about a number of events that would take place during my awakening that were pivotal events for me spiritually. Some of these precognitive elements were seven to ten years in advance of the actual events themselves.
I had dreams of water that was filled with this sparkling inner light and symbols flowing through it that I could not decipher. Many others describe a “light language” whose symbols all feel very familiar to me. I saw how this “water” flowed into a building, my house, in the dream, where two fountains were in the middle of the house, which were clearly representing the Ida and Pengala currents of the kundalini (I just didn’t know yet about these channels except as shown in the dream).
In another dream, I walked into a video arcade full of games with horrible images playing across them, a world that was in black and white and sepia tones while I saw a brilliant golden shaft of light emerge in the center of this arcade where people were being fed from a loaf of bread that did not diminish each time it was cut. There was a voice that said, “Out of the One, many, and out of the many, One.” this concept would emerge in the form of an awareness of the holographic nature of reality, the soul, and matter. And this golden light, which has accompanied throughout my life, was centered in a world full of violence, like games that we play in life.
My awakening pushed physical events in my life so that I had to face that the relationship that I had been in for close to two decades was in truth abusive to both me and my children emotionally. Through a series of bizarre events, my life was arranged in a way that it was impossible for me to continue with the blinders that I had on for so long. My own awakening catalyzed a shift between me and my spouse that was…bizarre.
As I began to progress in the removal of karmic threads and knots, my spouse went in exactly the opposite direction. On the one hand, so much of what was happening was behind the scenes, releases that represented lifetimes of stored material, and material that had served as the platform on which my wife and I had formed our relationship, as I softened, she hardened even though she did not know about the many blocks I had been clearing within me. In my case, this system of blocks was being taken down rapidly, so fast that there was no way for it to manifest in my behavior, but had an effect on her, even though she never knew this at the time. I was able to watch as she would go into these rages after these threads would drop in me. It helped me to see how these energetic effects have a very real impact on the people around us. In my case it was clear that I had someone who very much wanted to cling at all costs to her old patterns. In fact, her patterns hardened even more so as I quietly continued with my inner work and watched as each release in me created an opposite reaction in her. If ever I needed a sign about what kind of person I had been living with all those years, this experience certainly illustrated it loud and clear. In a broader way, this experience along with a second person later, helped me to see that for as much as I might want to help people out of their messes, the only person we can truly do this for is ourselves. While healing in one person can help release the other person from their blocks at the same time, my experience has been that this is an inside job and not everyone is as ready as we might be to just get on with it. I have seen this with people I have known who are awakened, too. We shed our illusions in layers despite this notion that once kundalini comes, it all just goes away. Only by preparing most of your life with methods like kundalini yoga, might such an outcome happen. We, though, awaken without the eastern methods that have been known to make awakenings calm and easy. You could say Westerners are doing it the hard way. We are all waking up very fast!
All of my healing during awakening has been to unleash the power of the mind and the heart and the sensuality that is native in all of us without the burdens of our shame. My awakening meant that I was not as controllable as I had been in the past by my spouse. This made life very hard and ended, ultimately, in divorce. This was a saving grace for me, but it had come at a great cost to me and my children, who were thrown under the bus by their mother as a way of getting back at me for what she believed was my being unfair to her during the divorce. But like so many things in my old life, I had been engaging with a person who was so “off” that when I woke up and began operating according to my inner guidance and soul compass, my very fair determinations were turned against me as an effort was begun to try and alienate my children from me. I am not saying this for your sympathy. I am saying it to point out just how much awakening worked in my life to turn me around, as well as how turning to the truth can impact those who just aren’t ready in the same way. And, also, awakening can lead you to having a new life where some do not or cannot follow. I just could no longer play that old game anymore. I had to play by my conscience, and that was just the problem for others who were not similarly aligned. It was my time to transform, and for me there were periods of rapid change, perhaps too rapid for others to understand or to keep up with.
When I felt stuck, I had events that happened that forced me to examine my life. I was seriously injured in a fall that put me out of work for an entire year, requiring intensive physical therapy. It was a depth charge in my life that forced me into slowing down from my very hectic and even frenetic life as a production artist. To put a fine point on it, as I lay on a therapy table with a woman who did Kahuna healing many years later and who was clairesentient, when I mentioned something about my accident, she said that she heard one of my guides explain, “That was no accident!” How true. When I got up from my fall from the ladder and saw what had happened, I had this very odd feeling like all of this was part of a design. A hard design, meant to match my own hardness, all intended, in the end, to get me to soften, to take a break, to learn to really examine my life by having more time on my hands than I would probably have ever granted myself normally. The truth was, if I had not taken this life-changing fall, I might have had the blinders up for many years to follow. I would not have been forced to look at my life in the way that I had to.
It was during this time of my forced sabbatical from my busy professional life that I was able to look at my life with my spouse and just how bad things had gotten. While I gained a new life, I also lost a child to this process who was turned against me in what I can only describe as one of the more cruel forms of betrayal that happens between divorcing parents. It also underlines just how people can get swept up in their karmic glitches, too. It also showed me just how easily it is to brain-wash people, how powerful our own beliefs are about what we think our lives are about, and how easy it is to accept beliefs about ourselves that are based less on what is true or real than on what it is that we feel about ourselves.
I was able to see other people who came into my life who were just as stuck in their illusions about who they were even though they were also awakened, and all of this has helped to remind me of how important it is for us to examine as honestly as we can, our deeper beliefs about ourselves. This is a form of radical self-honesty that is the only way that we can free ourselves from the more troubling aspects of our own inner neurosis. At the bottom of each of these inner discoveries I have found that all of my problems were each self-made.
I could say that my wife did XY & Z to me, but the truth is, they would not have happened had I not had this splinter in me that served to attract a complimentary energy to me. I had surrounded my self by miserable people and had tried to make their lives better for years. Instead, I have learned that everyone is responsible for their own happiness, their own heaven and their own hell….and no one else. I have had to let go of all of the deceit and lies that have been told about me in order to attain something more treasured than any wrong done to me. I am telling you this only to help you to understand just how thoroughly the force of prana running in your awareness is, and how it can relentlessly clear you of prior fault about yourself as anything less than a wonder-filled creature worthy of the best love there is. I am telling you this, also because some have tried their best to explain that it was just not possible that I was experiencing what I was.
I have had people writing me from India who tell me that this is NOT kundalini…that I cannot “get” this without a guru, without “diksha,” without sitting at the foot of one who already has it, a guru, and worshiping them. It is a new day, folks, and we are the ones who will unveil its light to the world without so many beliefs holding it all down or coloring it. But the fact that we have many people waking up this way without a guru really says something about the insistence that the old way is the ONLY way. The intelligence of the energy will guide you, so you need to be very clear about your relationship to it. It is your life raft. I say to you that it is time to cast off the lead coat of the past. Awakening remains perennial in its freshness. You do not need a tradition. You only need a capacity for awe. Do you have this?
When kundalini rose, I was driving down the highway. I was not meditating. I was deep in thought when it moved. I was not sitting up straight. I was not in full-lotus. Nor was I suddenly shocked into a perfect form of posture, either. I had been having all of these symptoms previous to this which I knew intuitively were conditioning my body for something…I just didn’t know what. It was coming, I knew something was coming, but it was so beyond my previous experience that I could not have known what it would be like. I felt the serpentine force rising up inside of me. I felt my mind bloom.
The activation of my third eye that had taken place in rather spectacular fashion five months previously, which made it easier for me to relate to what was taking place. I had been guided directly to how to effect my third eye opening/activation. It took the form of a quiet voice or thought inside of me that told me to do certain things. I obeyed, often wondering if all of this was real or imagined. One side of me poo-pooed it while another side of me thought, “What’s the harm?”My third eye awakening was a fairly involved affair that began with seeing a blazing eye emerge into my mind’s eye while my physical eyes were closed. This was accompanied by a spreading pressure across my forehead that first felt like my head was being held in a vice. Bands of force began to radiate outward from my third eye around my head. Each night as I lay down to meditate, these bands would resurface and expand, effectively picking up where they had left off the previous evening.
I wound up with what felt like a three-form column of energy shooting up from my third eye up towards my hair line and then powerful pressure-based bands that spread out horizontally that wrapped around my head until they encircled my entire head. My head had the odd feelings as though it was a walnut that was being cracked open.
I was shown a portal in the middle of my third eye region where I saw images begin to form. I was told to focus on these images. This was akin to watching a slide show. I was shown a series of about five different images, each I understood were physical locations that I was to try and go to using a method of bilocation that was different from any other method I had ever heard of previous to this experience. All of this happened automatically and I was along for the ride. It was through this particular stage of the experience that I learned about how to shift my consciousness and to harness the energy of the complimentary energy in consciousness that is the compliment to the rational mind. I found that as this focus improved that events themselves changed as I learned to keep the waveform of energy moving. This in turn served to build the energy that I observe led to the full-on rising of the energy.
The day before kundalini rose, though, I had been feeling this sweeping energy moving over my skin. I had goosebumps and chills that came and went for weeks on end, coming and going according to no known schedule or reason. This had gone on for a solid month, coming and going according to a schedule that entirely eluded me. It reallyfelt as though someone was taking a feather duster and was sweeping it all over me with no pattern….firs it would run up my leg, then it would brush over my shoulders, then my arm, then my back, then on the top of my head.
It was I was at work one day I felt this sweeping energy stop after it entered my solar plexus. To be completely accurate I felt the sweeping energy that was on my skin dive into my navel. When this happened, the energy effects stopped completely until the following day when tit re-emerged as the full rising of the energy. This sweeping energy (often described by some as the “medusa effect”) felt as though something was preparing me for something. All of this happened automatically. It took place naturally. All of this, after I had removed this one big block from my consciousness. Everything flowed out from that and was nurtured by some meditation I was doing at the time. Everything about it fit neatly together so that this event moved forward. It was as though some unknown part of me was conspiring “against” me. And truthfully, it was conspiring FOR me!
My awakening also included a soul connection, which was another wrinkle in my life and experience with this new chapter in my life.
A flow of information began to come through me, images that were connected to someone half a world away who I had not even met. I was seeing images of things I did not at the time understand. In a few weeks I had a series of bizarre events that led me to realize that the images I was seeing at my initial awakening had to do with this person who I did not know. It was like stepping off into a strange world. I pinched myself. Was I going down the rabbit hole? This story took off in the direction of releasing a parasitic etheric life form from someone whom I would also become connected to etherically. It was so strange a turn of events that it would be hard to believe that any of it happened the way that it did….except that it did.
This person would become a soul connection, what is commonly termed a twin soul or twin ray, which is itself another story in and of itself. After this initial experience, I moved into a territory that has continued to be….different. For about nine months, I was not entirely sure what had happened to me. It was just so….unusual. I knew that whatever was happening, nothing was really the same. If I thought about something, it had an uncanny habit of happening. Over and over! If I described to you some of the synchronicities that happened to me, you just would not believe. And yet, they all happened. This is how we bring dream to waking. This is what the ancients spoke about. This was magic. It is a hitherto poorly understood quality of ourselves and of reality…..and HOW we and reality can mesh to allow for the amazing to happen. We call it magic because we have not had a good enough model for explaining what is actually happening.
The moment of awakening was for me part of a process. The awakening was itself one step among many steps. Waking up like that did not confer upon me perfection. I had to work that part out, and it continues to this day. Abilities that I had prior to my awakening have been greatly enhanced and have assisted me a great deal in being able to extend my comprehension of what is happening to me energetically to a considerable degree.
Do I think preparing could be of benefit? I think so, but how do we know who will awaken? And honestly, some of the things that I encountered and then released, I don’t think I would have been able to release without the stirring effect of prana so alive in my awareness and my body. My awareness was trebled so that I kind of laughed at the considered and examined life I thought I had lived up until that time. Really, I was humbled by this increase of awareness, coming away shaking my head at what it was that I thought I knew. Awakening joins two currents in awareness that had been disconnected. As a result, you live a half-life and see only half of the picture. So much of life is through agendas, beliefs, and limited views. How do you help anyone see the bigger picture unless they themselves begin to see it for themselves? The formula, most likely, is one of many lifetimes of growth and “ripening” to the moment when the fruit drops from its old life into its new life. What is happening today, though, is that these awakenings are coming at the greatest rate spontaneously. This is with minimal preparation. As a result, preparation is done while in the midst of the flow of this powerful force. While it can be difficult to do, the force of awakening is itself a grace that can be harnessed if one is willing to devote ones self to this work. It requires humility, perseverance, a little faith, and self love. I will say based on observations of others, that if you are interested in awakening and are a very rational “mental” person, you should do work to loosen yourself up or else this will be a very hard experience for you. Awakening opens up the channels of awareness and consciousness that are the opposite of the rational mind. For the rational mind, this can feel like madness, and certainly neurosis can ensue for those who force this experience before they have prepared. Instead of having a soul filled with facts, live your life as though your life is filled with poetry. Flow, do not be rigid. Flow. You don’t need to know how everything will be. Submit yourself to a larger force. For some of us, especially those stuck in ego, this is very hard.
My awakening continues to unfold. Like a flower, it has many petals. I have worked hard to be where I am, and I have also learned the art of surrender…..and I relearn it every day. It is true. As I enter into the eighth year of the phenomenon, I am seeing things very differently then I did in the beginning. I see how limited I was, but how even in my limited view, it was perfect for the time to do what I needed most to do. A voice which came to me and revealed in spectacular fashion through a series of synchronicities what this is all about; love. One of the greatest acts of love for me was in letting go of relationships that did not serve me or that mirrored an old outmoded way of being limited and engaged in always trying to shift blame and thus hold off on the act of radical self-honesty I have mentioned earlier. Not everyone will be ready for this level of honesty, and when you come up against it in yourself, it can result in really bad behavior in them. I saw this in several people in my life, all captured in the old karmic junk, and I can tell you how awful it is to just be around them. At each step I am shown how my understanding of this love expands as my own embodiment of it expands also. Like a petal unfolding. Even as it has meant moving on without those who once mirrored something in us that we thought was real. If everyone tended to their own stuff, there would be no more finger-pointing and nothing but self-honesty. Worry about yourself, take care and tend to your own garden. You will not be lugging another person’s garden back into heaven. You will be carrying your own, see? You will then inspire others along the way through this authenticity that you will quite naturally embody in your process.
However awakening comes to you, it is perfect. It will behave in direct proportion to who and how you are. If you are hard and rigid, kundalini will kick your butt. if you are soft and bending, it will flow around you and become a bliss-filled blessing. If it is a blast up your spine that leaves your reeling, well perhaps you needed the blast to open you up and shake you out of your old state. But it is also possible to have a gentle awakening as well. It can be relatively calm and gentle and done in pieces. It can. It did for me. It can for others. Like the water from a stream that has been dammed up, we can learn how to let this force open itself up to itself so that a large channel of energy can flow. In the beginning it will seem like a lot, but in time you will see that the “big amount” one year is eclipsed by the flow in another year or season as you naturally evolve to learn how to be a conduit for this energy that is you and that is the universe. Your understanding will improve with time and experience perhaps as it has done with mine. It will be your teacher, it will enliven your mind, it will heal your soul and support your body. It can come like lightning, or it can come more gently. I prefer gentle since it can help eleviate psychosis that can take place in its wake.
There were times when my awakening was like a curse because it was so damned hard. It was hard because I was so stubborn! But I see it more as a great gift that shows me its great potential when I surrender…..over and over I hand it the reins and let it do the driving. Here, the mind, heart, and soul bloom in the lovely presence of the light that is the blast that changes our lives forever and for the better.
The story continues….
Namaste’ Parker, thanks for sharing your awakening journey on this blog. I just came across it today and hope you do not make it private and can leave it public so that people needing this information can find it. I just sent a friend a link to your article on anxiety / dopamine and adrenals, which I feel will be helpful for them. No one person goes through every one thing, but we have many of the same happenings… I had full-blown kundalini awakening in January of 2006. I published my kundalini awakening as testimonial in a book which I put in common licensing (free) on this website. I just give the link in case you want to check it out or give ideas on writing our own book. http://ourlightbody.com Feel free to delete or not publish these links. I have subscribed to your blog. I’m not currently writing much but also have blog at http://phoenixtools.org and just opened a kundalini discussion group in Facebook. Would be wonderful to stay connected and have you in the discussion group if interested. Lastly, I do promote books I really like, which aren’t so many. So there is possibility after you write your book, send me a copy and I can read and if I like it, I can help with getting the word out there that it is available as I have many kundalini contacts. Love & Blessings, Betsy
Betsy,
You are very welcome to include links. Thank-you for stopping by. I am glad that there is some information here that you feel might help someone.
The site will be accessible to those who are most interested. I am making it private partly to weed out a stalking situation, sadly enough. Seems better to just keep my work out of some people’s eyes for a while.
Thanks for stopping by and keep in touch! I don’t get out much, but I will give your FB a look-see! Best of luck and thank you for your support.
~Parker
Parker, thanks for making contact. I’ve subscribed to your blog and will stay in touch. Betsy
Everyone who has shown interest will be contacted and given the opportunity to be a part of the new site when it is taken private.
My awakening is directly linked to my twin as well. It’s been mind blowing and I am still trying to make sense of it. Now K is full blown and it has only been 7 months since the connection with my twin was made. Totally life changing in every way. Thank you for sharing the story of your awakening.
You are very welcome, and thank you for your feedback.
Extremely interesting. Thanks for sharing, Parker. I can relate to so much of what you have described. I can attest to the fact that the awakening of the kundalini can happen without the help of a guru, without yoga and without any knowledge of Sanskrit. For me it was like meeting a celestial being, my twin flame, who I soon realized was the other half of me, my higher self from another dimension. It happened in 2012 while I was alone, depressed and NOT meditating. I described it briefly in my blogposts entitled “The Future Me” and “The New You”.
I started my blog only a month ago and that’s all I write about since everything else in this world became so insignificant after I experienced this.
I saved a link to your blog as I intend to read more. You express yourself in a language I understand. I really appreciate that because it’s not easy to find. You have my admiration and virtual affection. I don’t usually comment other people’s blogposts but for some reason I can’t stop myself from commenting yours. I feel connected and this is rare.
I think that it’s likely that you resonate with it because what I experienced was very much as you described above. I have written about how, when I asked this presence now residing in me, it explained that it was a future form of me looping back in order to boost my, and it’s own evolution. That was during the first few months of its being present, feeling like an obvious intelligence. It was then that I began wondering what wasn’t possible with this heavenly grace in my awareness. And you know, I look forward to stretching every inch of credulity I might have to experience these “new” realms in awareness. So yeah, I know just where you are coming from! Not everyone has this same focus, and I tend to think that this is just fine because we probably each need it for slightly different things. As for myself, I am really interested in forming groups of men who are up for revisioning the masculine in light of these very kinds of…..accelerations. Now you have me yammering on!
Groups of men who are up for revisioning the masculine in light of this, you say? I’m getting the impression that you and I have been visited by the same spirits (or aliens).
I’m now reading your first post “Awakening Begins” dated February 24, 2013. Expect more comments 🙂
I totally agree that it is a new day and all those belief systems (especially from the East) are only beliefs and watching the awakening in the Western part of the world we have a right to say: “I choose my way”. My path was (and still is) different, going slowly already 10 years with sudden jumps from time to time:)
Same!
I appreciate your real and original story moreso than the rehashed garble that is mostly out there. How has the awakening been going for you?
Hi Mathew, thank you for stopping by. Since you asked, things are going quite well. It keeps getting easier and easier the more material that is released from the dungeons of the subconscious. It is like being handed a new lease on life. Have you had this experience as well?
Interesting blog.. Recently I have been discovering many blogs about spiritual awakening and I am glad to see that more and more people are awakening to their true nature. I found your blog from the comment you made in Anand’ s Art of Dying blog.. I have yet to read your posts in detail but I see that you have a lot of interesting content.
Three years after my own awakening, I have been thinking about creating a bridge between science and spirituality.. But I think it will require collaboration of many people who are spiritually awakened. You can read my whole story in my blog: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/2017/05/10/the-journey-of-a-seeker-my-story/ . I have been also going through some scientific papers to find out how easy it is to come up with neural correlates of spiritual enlightenment.
Science seems to be an authority these days… I am waiting to see the day when spiritual enlightenment is a part of the syllabus of 10th grade Biology…This way, many people will realize the opportunity they have in ending their suffering and discovering a whole new way of living their lives.
A agree with your sentiments completely, Snanmugam! Keep me posted on what you learn. There is so much I could say, but I don’t want to bury you in a blizzard of words. Suffice it to say that I hope we can make strides in this area of inquiry.
Thank you for stopping in, commenting and introducing me to your blog and interests! Come back often, I enjoyed our little chat.
sure I will.. 🙂 thanks
Oh, and by the way; I see you followed my blog for the work that I do as an artist; I have one for my work in glass and another (WTI) which you are responding to which is the science and art of consciousness and awakening.
Thank you, thank you. This is just beautiful. My process, too, is unfolding, which is why I am here and why I began blogging – and as you said in your own way, people cannot comprehend what they are not equipped to comprehend. Knowing that is important to me because I ask myself if it is ego that wishes to inspire others – so I hesitate even on my own blog. People who know something or feel something wonderful naturally want to share it. And on another note, when your child matures and gets out from the wings of Mom, he/she will claim his/her own ability to evaluate you without others’ opinions coloring his/her perception, and he/she will appreciate you! It’s a good thing that some of us outgrow the drama, huh? Take care.
You are welcome and I am touched that you find it to be of some use (I think I complained a lot in that post, lol!). Truly, not for ego, but to inspire others to wonderful experiences, the deep seeded desire to want others to come along for this really quite amazing ride! Ego I think is always there, and it is such a marvelous teacher….because it never dies, never really goes away, and helps to keep us in check IF we can remain aware. I sometimes think that it doesn’t matter to me anymore, that people don’t really want to know, don’t really want to be challenged, so what I do is I think that I am simply speaking to myself in those moments when I write. I do it to get it out (being an artist by trade)and I don’t worry about the rest. A friend who was in the publishing world said “Parker, if your words can touch just one person, it will have all been worth it…” And it sounds corny, but Maya Angelou talks about how her grandparents took her and her sibling in when she was young, never knowing the impact they would have on generations of her progeny and kind. As a teacher, it often takes years…many years before I hear a student say something really glowing about something that I did. But I like those statements because they have been road-worn, tested, utilized, and have held together for them. Not for my own aggrandizement, but for their benefit, which is what makes me so happy…that what I passed along actually did result in something beneficial. But I say this to someone who is a published author and publisher….so hopefully you will suffer me this little stretch of yammer. 🙂
Yes, I love it! and hope you didn’t think I was accusing you of flexing ego muscles! I just worry about that in myself, I meant to imply, but your reply of minutes ago is comforting; thank you.
Oh no, I didn’t think that. I can flex ego very well on my own sometimes, but….not always, thank goodness.
I am curious about reason of “loosing job”. I noticed K was mainly focused on rewiring body especially brain bones teeths and other parts of the body then finally i felt lot of work in adrenal gland in summer time,causing pain and rise of fear. My Main problem is dealing with mundane issues. K has really big impact on perception and reactions, evwrything seems to be amplified and is hard to sort even essential things. It’s make me sad that 37 years old guy behave like scared baby. Lately i have quit job because circumstances has changed and at the same time we got offer from council to move to new house, i feel like my life is falling to the pieces. How do you see that kind of changes regarding K or you know some stories of people who are going through kundalini who found out where was the problem. I know that God is always round and i have seen a lot of “coincidences” but human part of me always whisper and make me doubt from time to time.
This is one of the most intense experiences. Not like you can just knuckle your seatbelt and get off the ride. There are some things that will help. May I ask if you are still having trouble with adrenaline?
Yep, i don’t feel pain in the back but adrenalin for sure is on high level,really hard to say if this is only because of life situation i have noticed that symptoms appear parallely and i can’t be sure if K cause it or illnes or life issue. In the mean time i feel heat inside and sinuses are letting me know they are there and need my attention.
You answered part of your question earlier by saying how K amplifies everything. If K is amplifying the feelings that lead to adrenaline, what emotions do adrenaline represent most often? Fear, right? So fear is being amplified. How do you manage to modulate or lower fear?
For me, I learned that I had fear and it was irrational. It would never in a hundred years ever make any rational sense. That was my first realization. Second, this all meant that the path out of my dreadful adrenaline experience was simply learning how to surrender and let it go. Until you are able to do this fully, deeply, and unconditionally, there are a few things I want to mention to you that you should consider.
I found I didn’t feel adrenaline at certain times. One was when I ate. I realized that this was a pleasurable activity that took my mind off the pounding fear that drove my adrenaline. Pay attention to those moments when you don’t feel the adrenaline. What were you doing? What were you feeling? Observe yourself and you will gradually build up a series of observations about when you don’t feel fear. These moments will most certainly be about feelings that are about trust, pleasure, joy, and other unifying emotions. Pay attention to those moments and try to reproduce them even if it’s for a few moments, an hour, or day. Keep observing your feeling state and identifying the feelings that result in lowered adrenaline.
I found foods helped some. Melons and curry…both Indian and Thai. I was told by my guide to eat cantaloupe. I learned later that melon of any kind helps calm kundalini. Cantaloupe was perfect at this stage.
I realized I had a lot to fear. I think this drove my powerful adrenaline. I was afraid of what my spouse would say or do to my children. I didn’t feel safe to just be me, to trust and unwind this pent up energy.
I exercised when it was bad and I couldn’t calm it down. I got relief riding my bicycle up and down hills. Sometimes I would ride for hours, anything to give me relief, anything to burn adrenaline.
Since adrenaline comes from the kidney system, supporting kidney health is important. One way to do this is to buy organic concentrate of natural cherry and put it in water to drink each day. It is known that cherry juice, real cherry, acts as a tonic for the kidneys. I ate eggs as a source of protein because I became sensitive to the chemistry in the meat (I could feel the fear of the animal through the chemistry locked into the meat for example).
The most important thing that helped me was in learning to trust Kundalini and to make myself available for healing. I would ask myself how to clear whatever was nagging at me…it was a silent level of awareness about my state of mind and heart that I most often had no immediate answers to, but I trusted in the intelligence of the energy to show me the way. It meant learning to feel deep, right into the subconscious…its possible to do, but it’s not easy. You have to be vulnerable. You have to trust everything is going to be okay, that this force will help you get through this.
Movement could help a lot along with the eastern tradition of Qi Gong. This helps release stored emotional energy. It helped me a lot. See if there is a group in your area. Search this blog by looking for the search box and type TRE. This is a very effective method for releasing stored emotion that can lead to a breakthrough in how you feel.TRE works because unlike other mammals, humans store emotion in the body. TRE releases that energy. It really works. It involves fatiguing the leg muscles so that shaking and trembling are induced. This shaking does the work. It’s being used for people suffering from PTSD.
Finally, if you are unable to shift out of adrenaline you might need to see a doctor for adrenal burn out. What s/he might do is try to restart your adrenal again. Let’s hope it doesn’t get that far, this is such a hard part of the experience for sure!
Your feeling of heat might be hot chi, and if so, this is a very good thing because of how healing it is. Just let it do it’s work. You will know it’s energetic because of how fast the energy can change on a moment by moment basis.
Have you ever explored breathing exercises along with meditation?
Kundalini did change my life, it never asked me to give up anything that fed me in a positive way….and yet ten years later, my life is very different. I learned to let K be my master, to be my guide in showing me the path to bliss.
I hope this helps. If it’s any consolation, it does get better! I will think about this and add anything that comes to me over the next few days. I’m sorry it’s hard right now, but you will move through it. It’s much to strong not to.
~Parker
Thank you for your advice. I will look closer at TRE system. You have mentioned about trust in K and higher force, and i can see that everything i do wherever i am i want to be in control, if i am not i feel uncomfortable and fear emerge rapidly. Even driving outside of my town ( and not far away) i have to check how the route looks like, how many junctions and roundabouts i will pass) i realize its ridiculous and there os no sense in it but as you mentioned we have to see it from different perspective to let the fear go away,and probably K put me in situation where control is not possible. On other hand i do my best to trust God but iam getting a shivers from time to time because of the stories (gopi krishna,ekhart tolle) who had to lose nearly everything before they freed them self . So i feel like between rock and hard place, anyway im glad there are people around like you who are willing to help and give advice. I will try to drink cherry tee on daily basis, i never heard it can be helpful with adrenalin problem.i knew about vitamin C and salt to strength kidneys.
If you resist it will take you apart. But it will not take anything that was not good for you. Learn to let it go…there is great relief in that. Gopi resisted the “feminine” energy in his consciousness and nearly lost it. He found relief by opening to that channel, to that side of our awareness/consciousness.
This thing is opening you so that you can move much more energy and information through you. Ultimately, this very poorly named event some call “ego death” (which I assure you is nothing of the sort) is an important event that leads to great relief from resisting the energy. The more you practice control the harder the road will be. Instead, open to the other side because this part has a broader focus and connects into vast intelligence that can and does direct people’s lives. The forward edge of this are these synchronicities. If you know about the Law of Attraction, you can learn how synchronicities are just Attraction on steroids. Most people are blinded by how special these events are and forget how they are in fact supercharging events so needed things come along.
I don’t advertise for help in my business. Instead, people come along as needed. It’s the most unusual thing. In fact, if I think about how I need help, someone will pop up out of the blue wondering if I would stake them on. The critical thing to realize is that I’m not advertising. Also it isn’t random. I don’t get inquiries when they aren’t needed.
I have gotten work this same way. I have been referred by someone I didn’t know while I was thinking I’d love to do that kind of work. The timing is the part that keeps these events out of the realm of mere coincidence.
Take for example how when I was thinking of turning my journal into a nook on kundalini, I had a voice that told me to go to the nearest body of water. Huh? So I did. I looked around and wondered what the point was. I soon wound up staring face to face with a plaque that essentially stated the thesis of my book which I had been trying to condense down into a singular thought. This came in the form of a quote by philosopher Tielhard DeChardin. Never having read a word of his work before, I would see his work at the next two places I would go that day. It served, this quote, to crystallize what it was this energy is all about and how we are to work with it productively so that we can realize how we are much more than we thought we were.
All of the research on this book was done with me thinking about how I needed some examples of techniques for people to assist in their awakenings and then me stumbling upon it without looking for it or having people just show up telling me about a technique (me never having said anything about gathering research). This goes on and on, and I am convinced it happens as much as it does because I keep myself open to the impossibility of it happening.
I think it’s important to have support during awakening. It is the hardest time ever. But if you lose a job or have trouble getting through the day, it could be a blessing in disguise. When my wife wanted a divorce, for as hard as that was, it made life so much more tolerable for me. I had no one to hold it together for, so my process accelerated significantly. I felt like I stepped out of a fog. It was a relief. My wife made fun of my awakening, did not understand it and said I was just being lazy. But a year before she described me as the hardest working person she knew. The difference was awakening. I so needed support and only found it in others of our kind. 🙂
Let it change you. In the end, you really won’t be altered, but some things will change. This energy has always brought me the best when I let it do it’s work. Everything else in terms of difficulty is just us resisting the change.
You just remind me my first Burst of K. I was resisting mentally a lot. I couldn’t cope with death of my mother. Tension had been rising day by day , i couldnt faced the problem and everyday when i was waking up i was like boiling mental soup in the pot ( sry for weird expression but im not english by orgin) then in the next few months i had another problem to sort leading me to open crown chakra, funny thing is i talked to God in my mind to experience oneness few weeks before and it happened. It was most difficult time for me and nearly led me to madness. Luckly ( not coincidence i reckon ) i was interested in OOBE and different states of mind in the past, it helped me a lot in going through 3 month fully opened crown chakra. After that time i lost some friends who didn’t match “new” point of perception. You just gave me hints to look closer on origin of fear and i can see it’s mainly emotional. Emotions trigger fear then fear force me to react even ridiculous way. I am curious about relation between third eye and heart because in the first place crown chakra was opened then few years later i had to deal with opening of rest of chakras except third eye so i can only gues what is happening when third eye chakra is opening and how it change perception. Glad there is no coincidence in life and we meet relevant people when its needed :).What do you think about sedona method is it worth to try?
Just be careful about trying to understand emotion. The rational mind can only do so much. Some emotions are completely irrational, often based in one singular moment of trauma that then got repressed and stored, only to be triggered or reactivated endlessly through time whenever an event or person reminds you of the traumatic event. This continues until you forgive it, let it go and feel it bubble up and out of your energetic body, never to be seen again. This is what kundalini does if you let it. No more trouble. But you need to learn that you can trust it. It isn’t here to hurt you, but if you resist it, it’s hard. You really must go with the flow. I understand the fear; kundalini is a force infinitely bigger than you. It’s scary in that way. It’s a 300 kilo gorilla….but it’s here to help, not hurt. Learning to adopt a sense of trust makes this so much easier.
After a while you get to a place where all of this is on autopilot and you can more easily go about your life. You probably have to shed a lot of stored emotion first, so having a safe place and someone who is willing to support you during this period of transformation is nurturing and helpful. If not, the universe will help find a way. It did for me. I lived simply, extremely simply and I had no real support. And to be honest, when I could not afford electricity or water and had those cut off, I was able to just let kundalini do it’s work, which it did. It was the best time for me. I hauled water and I used a camp stove. This was for about a 9 month period until I felt ready again to enter the world of work. When I did tjis, I suddenly received offers (2) out of the blue for just what I had always wanted to do…and I got both jobs.
By examining what you believe you are worthy of, you can clear the way for this to happen. If you want something but secretly do not feel worthy, it might happen, but it will likely be troubled, full of problems. The more you clear yourself of those beliefs, the better instrument of creation of your life you are. I’m convinced some of the witches that were burned in Europa were people who had a knack for making things manifest. Most were because they were different, too attractive, or who had deep wisdom…or simply were an enemy…but “magic” is the miraculous and we are living it. My opinion.
Bend to it, let it in. Don’t fear your receptive side. Don’t be hard headed. You will need the part of you that knows how to yield to live happily with this energy.
You might note that those who awaken who are men tend to soften…they discover their more feminine side. Buddha was from this ruling warrior class. He was angular but became soft.
Bruce Lee, the most masculine guy ever learned to harness his feminine side. He would say, “be like water.” Gopi found his salvation by opening to the Ida current. Nearly all who struggle with kundalini do so by resisting and holding on to their old notions of what it means to be human, male, or female. Don’t worry, you are going to find out who you really are and there’s nothing at all to fear with that.
I don’t use methods. I do pay attention to what I relate to in all of these disciplines, though. So I don’t know the “Sedona Method” maybe it might be worth looking into, maybe there is something there worth trying?
I look askance at most methods because I know the error that is in them. Buddha awakened while sitting in the lotus posture. He had been at chasing enlightenment for six or seven years I think when it hit him. So after that, everyone copied him thinking the lotus posture was THE WAY. But no. If lotus was so powerful, everyone would be waking up, no? I was sitting in a car, bad posture, not breathing right and not chanting a mantra without a guru. Sorry, but if you have even one person waking up like this, it casts this notion into doubt about the right ways to do this. It all seems silly to me now.
But you hunger to find what is already in you, this grand land gifted to you and now it’s like the hand of god is beckoning you to step onto it’s vibrant soil. The war is over. Now tell yourself this ten thousand times and keep aiming for those lush places within you. No more dwelling in the dessert. But try things, it could be your intuition is telling you something important!
I hope this helps. I feel for you. It gets easier. Much is about letting go, but you still get to be you and you get to keep what’s good for you. I promise.
Thank you for your advice, simple but powerful. You are not sugar coating about K like many people around promising 24/7 pleasure. For sure i am going to work with trust, i feel like i have nothing to loose because already my life is quite unstable so maybe it’s time to face this lesson (of trust )
I have last question for now. Maybe it’s subjective but i noticed that people around me within last few years experience physical or mental symptoms of kundalini. They can’t relate them to K because they don’t even know what it is but for me it’s clear that sth is happening to them. It doesn’t apply to all People but if there is someone a bit opened to question life for sure will be “touched” by K. How you see it from your perspective and experience.
I and others have observed what appears to be the transmission of K on a number of occasions, so this phenomenon seems to be something that does happen. Is it being transmitted or are people simply falling into entrainment….just naturally vibrating at our pitch? It could be one, the other, or a bit of both.
Years ago, long before kundalini began to move, I noticed that people would begin seeing auras around me. I noticed that each time I was feeling or holding this very specific vibration, a feeling, in me. I saw auras at this time. I had this gift. It was much too many times for it to have been coincidental.
After this, I read about how in India a guru can confer his or her grace on their followers….they gain the gifts the guru does. I think that we do this all the time without knowing it.
I once knew someone who was K active and showed signs of not experiencing bliss. She was very much in a state of chaotic emotion and it showed. I could not be around her because she acted psychotic, no responsibility for her feelings or actions. Instead of being with her to help, I just spoke to her spirit and said things like, “You should start thinking about bliss, it would help you so much, it would be such a blessing.” A few days later she began texting me asking about bliss. It was really kind of odd. I thought she would just go her own way, but began asking me things about it. I had never spoken directly about this subject, not once. So I smiled, answered her question, and went on speaking to her spirit.
All on her own, with no prompting from me, she kept asking more and more questions over vthe course of about a week or two. I had been praying to her soul saying how the grace of bliss would help her so much.
Finally she asked me if I had experienced bliss. I said that I did, that it was nearly constant now. She asked how I did that and I said through dedication to clearing these blocked energies. She seemed surprised to know this.
I said that she should just center and focus her mind and as I texted her, I said to clear her mind and breathe with me. Within five minutes, maybe not even that, she acted surprised saying she could now feel it. She could reach it from then on. I think it helped make a difference, maybe not, I don’t know.
This transmission is a real thing, but how exactly it works, I can’t say for 100% certain. It could be we all exist as physical beings in a nonphysical reality of spiritual energy that takes up no space and thus we can assist others like this by subtle influence or inspiring them to these states. What I do know is that I never set out to do this. I might pray to someone but I never presume to know what is right for them. Their soul decides. That is how I prefer to keep it. As a side note I think it can cause strain on people who respond to this energy. I also prefer to not be around lots of people for this very reason. People just act weird and try to behave as though I am somehow the problem. Until people have matured and thrown off enough of their insanity, they tend to remain irresponsible and emotionally dangerous creatures. 🙂
Very true, we shouldn’t “tamper” with somebodys soul on purpose, i think it would be against universal law. Thank you for your time and attention. I will read whole conversation one more time to make sure i didn’t missed important things. I will contact you again in the next few days maybe weeks or months to let you know what happened or what changed. I am less scared and more curious about what is going to happened so lets see 🙂
Small update.
I didn’t have to wait long till sth start to happened. First i had to deal with my brother ( he has really stressful period and berly can cope it) i had to spend night at his home to make sure everything is fine. Next day i started to suffer with massive pain of adrenal gland and stomach simultaneously. Pain appear firts in spine then it radiate toward kidneys(heat,cold, and feeling of clamp around lower ribs) then it stops and appear below on level of stomach.(nausea,guts movement,heat) There is no chance to do anything except laying bed. Its getting better but still hurt.
As you adviced i am drinkig cherry tea, additionally watter melon juice and electroties. Lemon balm to calm nerval system.
I found as for the fear driving my adrenaline, I realized there was nothing I could do about this deep fear inside, so I began letting it go. I can over think things, so I offered it up to my higher self/power. I also did the things that have me relief. When I did that, I studied it inside and tried to extend the feeling for a few minutes more. Being in nature helped. I exercised intensively to burn the adrenaline. I would ride my bike fast, up hills. It helped. I realized most fear is irrational, not something we can work through, just let go. People who are rational will have more trouble with this over those who are more comfortable with some things being a mystery cantaloupe and curry was a help.
There is also TRE exercises. I have friends who swear by it.
I speak to the energy and ask it what I need to do. I wait. Usually I get an answer….a voice, someone telling me something, synchronistic events, or in dream state. If I can let my mind go blank and meditate on an answer, I can sometimes feel my way to an answer….which usually means letting go. I know that’s not easy when you feel like you are in a vice.
Difficulty with others can be turned around; it is showing you what you need to change in you so you aren’t effected the same way as in the past. Family is hardest because there is so much history, but the difficulty you feel is what needs changing in you. Trying to change the world or people only works when they are ready…so by changing your reaction, you find peace. So maybe it’s how a sibling exerts authority…let them have their authority. They are not your inner authority. Or maybe a sibling is judgmental. Let them have their judgment, this judgment isn’t you. Or maybe you seek approval somehow….whatever it is, by letting it be about them, not you, you can find relief. By breathing deep and slow, you can begin to ground in the body and understand your reactions more intuitively. Feeling instead of rational. Imagine sending breath into the areas that feel tight.
I know it does not feel this way, but kundalini is a blessing, and right now you are burning away the harder parts. Just show up, learn to surrender, to be more like the energy, and as you do, it gets easier. Real work, real results. Good luck!
Hi again, after few weeks i can say that phisical issues are not muche easier than psychological. As we talked about adrenal gland its looks like they triggered another surge of K but this time affecting nerval system.Firstly i had rough night spending night at my brother home. I woke up after two hours with massive heat in my spine, everything seemd to be fine but later on i started to have an issue with solar plexus (vomiting,stomach ache) and higher at height of lower ribs ( pressure causing pain radiating toward heart) its looks like K is hiting against Vishnu knot) pain in the spine was unbearable it feels like the bits of glass were moving in my nerves starting in spine then spreading to front. Hopefully it will go through or slow down. I am nit good in interpreting dreams but maybe you can help me… Couple of weeks agi i had dream ( it looked like cave with blocked entrence by stones and i didn’t want it to be opened beeing woried what happened when water would surge through the hole) and tonight i had another dream. I was in old room. Wall was covered with grass then i noticed plaster was coming of because it was wet, i tried to fix and big pieces fell off then i realized that behind the plaster is hidden window so i started to uncover it)
Boy, things are intense for you right now, huh? I know it’s hard, but trutfully, kundalini is doing it’s work. If you can trust it’s doing what is best for you, it can be easier.
Whenever you have adrenaline, it’s tied to fear, obviously, but the problem with fear is that it is very often irrational. The answer lies in simply not responding to this type of chemistry in your body. The best way is to root out the fear, or at least transform it into bliss. This can take time, but as more blocks are released it becomes easier. Things DO get better!
I’m not you, but if I had the dreams that you had, I would not hesitate in saying that the first dream was about your apprehension about kundalini establishing new channels in your light body. It might well be a dream preparing you for the energy breaking through more blocks and flowing more freely, like water.
The second dream sure seems like it is dealing with our facades, our surface self. That self might be pulling away to reveal something underneath. Do you try to cover it up or do you pull away the old layers. This is, in my opinion, you. This is happening to you this way-it is how you feel. Instead of your being being covered in a material that obscures, you are finding that your nature is more like that of a clear window. You are beginning to see in ways that you weren’t able to. Blocked energy IS being dealt with and quickly! Expect increasing clarity in time.
YOU will always remain YOU, so don’t worry about your being obliterated. Also, we often fear kundalini because how strong it is. Try to let kundalini be kundalini. If you wrestle with it, it will wrestle you back. Smile, and it smiles back. Why? Because it is you. You are, though, split in awareness. Your experience is correcting this and bringing you closer to this cosmic family…this thing you are a part of that kundalini makes you more and more aware of. The universe is interconnected. There is no cause for fear. Fear only taints perception.
You can change your tension and anxiety into bliss joy and calm. It requires you to learn to respond to life differently, to begin making different choices moment by moment. If you do this, even in small ways, it will catch on and grow so that in time, life will take on a different feeling. You just choose positive over chaotic or difficult emotions.
I am learning to put all of my troubles into the hands of the Creator. The nice thing about our having awakened is that we do feel this Presence that is quiet and still but which loves us. Here we are going crazy and it looks at us wondering what the commotion is all about. We look to it, begin feeling it, and in that connection we just imagine handing all our stuff over to this Presence. It is so advanced, so wise, so capable, that as we are willing to let go our grip on our junk, this cosmic mind transmutes it no problem. But we have to be open, surrendered, trusting. And as is so often the case, we don’t really fully let go but it still gets nibbled away at each time we spend time meditating in silence asking for it’s help and healing.
We do a lot to get in our way with this. Universal mind or Creator can handle all of it. That’s my advice for what it’s worth.
Oh, also, try eating cantaloupe and other melon. I was told by a guide to do this and it gave me immediate relief. I know cantaloupe might not be in season, but getting the repeat one and giving it a try. Other melons can also work. Turns out melon has been used by yogis to help with kundalini. Also, Indian curry really helped me a lot with adrenaline.
After two months i came to the conclusion that “illnes” was triggered by adrenal gland but main reason is to change nerval system in spine and sorundings. Nerval pain ( like electricity flowing through all nerves ) was changing it’s patterns. First in area of kidneys then spread to stomach muscle and skin in solar plexus, i wasn’t able to eat properly for over 3 weeks (vomiting, weakness,high bloodpressure, pain was unbearable) then it faded away and appeared in area of lower ribs and sacral chakra, i felt it like someone was trying to push too much air through rubber hose. After all nerval activity bones and muscles were really sensitive like they were broken and overstrain. I have been still suffering but less and especially at night so I don’t try to survive another day. Still weak and no chance to walk more than 0.5km so hope it will sort it soon, funny thing is that few months ago i had oobe and exactly same blow and pressure in area reaching ribs then day before it started again, i woke up in oobe and felt moving “snake like” form along spine reaching throat chakra and it pirced sth in this area with sound of tire with puncture. Still doesn’t know exactly what is happening because most of information on internet give only brief description ( nerval change in spine, pain, fire) but not much about similiar symptomes. I know that some people wake up and can’t walk for half year because of K went through spine but still doesn’t explain what is happening.
It’s what kundalini does, which is abundance of prana/energy. It’s clearing you of blocked areas, clearing out fear (adrenals) and then moving on to the next blocked area, just as you described.
The whip-like or serpentine movements are a reaction to the energy…the body wants to use the energy and it will make you feel like moving or jerking sometimes. This is completely normal. Most everyone will feel this at one time or another.
Being able to move with the energy can feel very good, very therapeutic. It’s one reason why methods like Chi-Gong work so well, they give the energy a thoughtful and beneficial path to follow. Nothing is forced in this method. It is also a method developed over centuries and the Chinese really got it right with moving energy in the meridian system. They work with it, not against, which is why it works so well.
The result often is a feeling of being sick. This flu-like feeling is also completely normal, and from my own inner study is linked to the solar or yang energy in the body. This energy, though hard to take sometimes, is also very healing. It is warmer energy, they say, because sometimes it can feel like heat, but not always. I found it caused a lot of stomach upset…and I still have issues with it to this day. This is because there are more blocks in my abdomen (root and sacral) that are actively being “burned” away. That said, the energy gets smoother and calmer as you go along. It happens gradually, piece by piece as each small and big block is removed. Since you are in such an active stage, this might be hard to see for a while.
Intuition tells me that you would benefit from opening your body up more by stretching gently and by moving freely. I have found that if I let my imagination be used by the energy while I keep my thoughts bright and positive, my body will move in a way that makes me feel very good. It’s like dance, but it’s for me very free swooping movements with my arms and legs, an easy twirling, stretching, that let’s the energy express itself in a harmonious way. The Sufi’s have a “dance” which is twirling. This twirling quiets the rational mind and opens us to the mystery, the nonrational side or feminine side of our consciousness. It is a path to ecstacy. Ecstasy is our true nature, and this energy is ecstacy. If you resist ecstacy, the energy tends to get hard, difficult, and gets channelled through blocked areas because of our resistance to it. The energy does not do this, though, we do.
Trust what its doing. In time, you will react less with apprehension and more with trust. You will welcome it’s powerful waves instead of resisting them. Yes, it’s bigger than you, way bigger…but that is only because of our identification with this one body, one self. In silence with it, it will show you how you and the energy have always been one.
It sounds like you made it through a major hurdle from last you reached out. This is wonderful progress! I’m hoping the very best for vyou in this wild and amazing journey. The secret is in letting go and trusting that what it takes out of you was nothing that ever did your true self any good. I and thousands of others are testament to this (and most of us are still being actively cleared in some ways to this day).
Its exactly as you say. I noticed it rise pain if i feel fear, so i came to the conclusion that nerval system was overloaded but when i was in positive emotional state it didn’t cause pain, all was fading away. Biggest concern is that symptoms for GP are at least weird even masseur familiar with naturotheraphy was a bit confused. There is lot of info about K on internet but in my real life I didn’t meet anybody who knows anything about it so i feel really lonely in my journey.
It used to be so rare that there were only a few on the planet with it at any given time…but this is changing. I know many people now, people who are friends of my family who have been going through it. The nice thing is we have the internet and there are people willing to write about it and create communities online to discuss it. There are all kinds of strands of belief, turns of mind, too. Take your pic! Hang in there…
Im glad we can find valuable informations among milions of topics. In opposition to many many others you serve your help and attention to regular guys all over the world, what is rare this days. Most of “awakened” people forget about purpose and are focused only about their income, workshops yoga classes.
Life is too short. Also, I’m just writing about my experience and making observations that were of help to me.
Thank you again for your advice, for sure i have to work with surrender. I never expected that solar plexus could be so “stubborn” in keeping junks. Funny thing is that surge of K happened to me at rhe same time when i am changing house or job. I know that everything gona be ok but “small me” doesn’t want to give up easly 🙂
It’s a big leap for little us!
I tried water melon but it didn’t work for me, i will try to order veggie curry because i dont eat meat 🙂
Just stopping by to say hello. Something weird happened. I just restarted my blog and had one comment to read – and after I read it I noticed a comment from you dated 2018 in Aug or Oct (can’t remember) so I clicked on your blog link but then went back to my blog to find which date of your posts I had read. Well, I looked all over my blog and could not find a single comment from 2018 (I only posted a few times last year). Anyhow, you have very good articles, and being a k-person myself (full-blown activation in 2016) I enjoy reading material from a kindred spirit. 🙂 PS Personally, I think this was some sort of a synchronicity thing.
I just bought your book! I am looking forward to getting it here. I will make sure I provide a review. That was a weird little thing with your comments thing!❤
Oh my! Thank you for buying my book. Here is a comment you made in reply to someone’s comment: “I sometimes think that it doesn’t matter to me anymore, that people don’t really want to know, don’t really want to be challenged, so what I do is I think that I am simply speaking to myself in those moments when I write. I do it to get it out (being an artist by trade)and I don’t worry about the rest”.
My sentiments exactly. The majority of the poems I wrote in the 70s were channeled – and I can read and understand the wisdom of them a lot better today than years ago. And a number of them are related to just what you mentioned in your comment. Everyone has their own awakening time just as we did. But we artists can inspire and bring light to others which may help them on their journey – just as others help us on ours! That was my main desire for publishing my poems – that they will be helpful for some seekers. PS – In 2012 I was told I was starting my spiritual apprenticeship – and when I asked who my teachers were (all of this info was via my inner voice) I was told, Fritz and Eileen. Well, Fritz has been gone for years now, but back in the mid-70’s he was my boyfriend for a year and was a master glassblower from Germany. He had his own little glass shop in Helen, GA and we also leased a restaurant there for the summer of ’76. He was a mystic/psychic and could read cards like you wouldn’t believe. In World War II out of 136 soldiers he and the chaplain were the only ones who survived, even though the two of them would go out on the field and bring soldiers back – so I’d say he was divinely protected in some way. Eileen was a psychic I met at a Psychic Fair and when I told her about my husband (now late husband) having a PVC (premature ventricular contractions of the heart) she did something (Pray?Visualize? I don’ know). But after that he never experienced, and docs never heard, any more PVCs.
I was just going to say a few words. Goodness! Thanks again for buying my book!
You are WELCOME! And what a perfectly magic journey.