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I am facing an odd conundrum which has me seeking the services of an experienced regression hypnotist who specializes in cases related to ET abductions. While I have done work in this vein with past life experiences, I am saying this because for years I always thought that my experiences with regards to the ET question all happened within dream. After all, I was pretty expert at grabbing information through the dream state that often wound up being true (instead of dream-state gobbeldy gook) so this seemed like a plausible thing for me to do.

My thought-set for years has been, “I wasn’t an abductee, I was using consciousness in dream to experience these beings.” My response more recently, though, has been, “What if this wasn’t just a dream, wouldn’t you want to know more about it?” Well the truth is, I have been kind of whistling past the graveyard in a sense for decades. Yes, there are actual reasons for suspecting that what happened to me was more than just dreams.

I say this because many abductees, some who are now my friends have said to me, “I had dreams about being abducted and then under hypnosis found that those weren’t just dreams but were part of my real life.” They then cite countless cases where events that were real and very physical got stuffed deep into their subconscious…sometime for years only to begin emerging in much the same way that victims of MK-Ultra style mindcontrol have experienced an unraveling of their therapist-induced amnesia, bring up memories from a life completely blocked or forgotten. I have resisted the possibility of ET abduction because it just didn’t seem like that was what was happening to me.

I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling of knowing something was happening and that it was happening a lot. I didn’t seem to have missing time, which is one feature. I may have had a scoop mark, another feature. There were other things, too, that I will cover here, but a lot of time has passed and I wonder whether that stuff is retrievable. As I say this, I am reminded of how far out in terms of time I have been able to retrieve past material (releasing blocks often brings up past life memories, some that are thousands, even millions of years old). I am not going to pretend to be consistent with anything here because I feel like I just don’t know.

I can’t say that it happened a lot. I can’t say that most of what is described in the abduction literature may even apply to me. But maybe it did and it has been hidden in memory. Maybe there are multiple ET agendas, each different substantively from each other. Yet, some of it does apply to me and most of the things that apply were things that took place before I ever cracked a book on the abduction phenomenon. It would have been hard for me to have made up the things that I did, things that are now features of the ET abduction experience.

As for the elements that are part of the abduction scenario, these are things that are always part of the abduction, but not every person who has them as their experience are necessarily abductees (as best as we know). Every person, though, who is an abductee has seen a craft. There was the fact that we had seen craft near our home (me on multiple occasions). Of course this does not make me an abductee, so I have to look more closely. Well, there is more than just a sighting. My sister had this bizarre burn on her abdomen that we could not explain after our first sighting. It was a series of circles and looked for the life of us like a shower drain pattern. Only problem was there was no way to physically get your stomach over the drain. Nothing fit. Her burn pattern went away without incident. We forgot about it. I did, until I did look into the ET issue in books that were just beginning to come out in the mid-seventies. What happened to me was was before I had read anything about ET encounters. All I knew was what I had seen and that UFO’s were the kind of thing that should be dismissed (courtesy of some very careful propaganda run by our own government for decades in order to hide the ET issue altogether). Besides, it was a dream, right?

Later, I would read in the ET abduction literature about identical burn marks my sister had that would fade in time leaving no marks. Reading the abduction literature quite frankly freaked me out. I had dreams of being trained to….wait for it….to fly a ship. These dreams were repeated over and over during a certain period of my life. I knew in the dream that I was being trained to fly an ET craft. How bizarre is that? Hang on, there are people who have described the same thing, flying craft using thought as the navigation method. I didn’t read about this in a book somewhere….it simply didn’t exist. I read about it years after it happened on a forum on Unknown Country, the web site that Whitley Strieber has hosted for decades.

I had a dream in the early 1990’s where I sat in my living room next to a female ET whose skin looked like….burnt marshmallow who was conversing silently with me, telepathically, and she ended the conversation by pointing up to the ceiling, indicating that she was going back to her home planet. Now try to find a case of a being with skin like that. Well, it turns out that there are a few cases of a being just like this. I found one encounter where my being was described perfectly, down to the unusual way (unlike any other alien this far described) that it’s head was shaped. It wasn’t like we had compared notes with each other.

But perhaps the only really disturbing thing that happened was the morning that same year as the dream of the dark-skinned being. I awoke to find that my feet showed every sign of having been dragged through a gravel parking lot and through grass. My feet were abraded, scratched, dirty, real dirty actually, and I had fresh grass stains on my feet.

I hadn’t been outside barefoot.

I had not been outside the evening before nor in weeks prior to this observation.

I just hadn’t gone outside barefoot pure and simple (and this was what made looking at my feet so strange, so alarming—who the hell was taking me out in the middle of the night for crying out loud??). I had taken a shower the night before. I went to bed clean. How in the world did this happen? Following logic, I must have been taken out of my bed at night. More, the way my feet were scratched up, I must have been unconscious. Let me be clear; the scratches on my feet weren’t from fingernails. I could see how the nails on my toes had been scratched up, abraded considerably as though my feet had dragged in a gravel parking lot. Have you ever had scratches like that before? Do you know the kind of force required to create those kinds of scratches? Yes, the driveway where I lived was all gravel. Did some govt agents come and steal me out of my bed? No matter what subject you used, it all sounded impossible, crazy. Was I sleep walking, falling down enough to cause the grass stains to be on my feet, along with enough dust to settle into the corners of my toes and to abrade the nails enough so you could clearly see them the following morning? This, the most seemingly likely scenario, sleepwalking, itself made so little sense. No, I had never been caught sleepwalking. The more I tried to find alternate reasons, the more silly it all seemed. It just sat there, this big red flag that would not go away. The most disturbing part was how, in my case, I wasn’t getting flashes of memory about it. It was one big fat silent blank spot.

This event, whatever it was, appears to have been stuffed deep down some rabbit hole in my head, because while I had had dreams about all sorts of unusual things, including ET’s, there was nothing that pointed to the kind of experiences most abductee’s have mentioned. Why couldn’t I remember the clinics aboard the ships, the growing tubes, or all the other things that have come up in the ET abduction literature? Maybe I just had those memories stuffed too deeply. It is one chief reason why I thought it was just a dream. There were parts of the phenomenon that didn’t appear to apply to me. Did I have a one-off? Was I taken aboard? But what about learning how to fly the ships? Maybe chalk that up to being obsessed with life from other planets. And yet, there are others who describe the same thing.

I could not remember any more deeply than this. I told myself, “Maybe it is best that you don’t remember. Maybe it’s good that you can’t dredge any of it up. You might be wigging out if you knew what had actually happened!” And then there was that part of me that would say, “I have no idea what took place. I could have been abducted by monkeys for all I know. Or a weird sleep cult.” I was unable to explain away what I had seen that early morning when I gazed at my feet when they hit the floor in the morning light. It stood out the way that it did because I had such a clear memory of what had happened the evening before. I hadn’t even been outside barefoot for months. The scratches could not be explained by fingernails. Pretty deep abrasions. No blood, but if I had been dragged further, then maybe. I felt the way a bear might feel when it is shot by a tranquilizer dart but has no memory of what took place. If it weren’t for this one experience, I probably could have pushed all of this off into the woo-woo box and left it there never to be inquired into again.

The problem for me is that I have done so much with repressed emotion and memory during my awakening that I have a hard time with the idea that there is something that kundalini is not dredging up. While I am beginning to consider that the way it is being dredged might be through a very different route, and that instead of being just an abductee (which may have happened), I have this strange sense that feels really out there that whatever my experience, it was part of a different section of the usual ET phenomenon (but even so—I am not even sure if this is even remotely correct at all). It’s unnerving to consider that there might be a still deeper bit of work that has completely eluded me all this while as my awakening has progressed over the past thirteen to fourteen years.

I have been aboard a ship and saw how its anti-gravity drive worked. I had a short conversation with an ET about what was behind the operation of that device. Based on the principles clearly present, this turns out to be the same set of principles that countless others who have abductee histories have sometimes described. Author Whitley Strieber tried to build one of these devices as a kid in his room as a result of his abduction experiences. When the device ran, it started a fire connected with the wires in the house, but not before knocking power out in his local area. Another man, whom Strieber wrote about in his book Communion, built a device in his barn based on the principle of counter rotating magnets. The device nearly tore the barn apart—as the story goes, the device caused objects to begin flying through the building until it was shut off. When I approached a group wanting to crack the embargo on off-world technology that the military is hiding in black budget projects by knowing how this class of device worked, they explained that what I had told them from my “dream” was indeed precisely what they were doing work on. My device was based on counter rotating magnets. I was event told by the ET standing beside me that the device was based on electromagnetics.

It is a strange feeling when dreams begin to step into our waking world. If all of this is simply a product of imagination, how is it that we are imagining the same things and having some consistent results with the imaginary devices we saw in that dream or in that abduction scenario? I mean, isn’t it curious that we see an anti-gravity machine in an abduction scenario and then when we try to build it, it actually begins to do what it was supposed to do? It strains credulity to then say that abductions are just the domain of the imagination. That, or we simply have undercut imagination far too much as a species and we have powers far greater than we could ever imagine. I would actually agree with this, but it is beside the point.

Taken together, though, and that one glaring physical artifact of my feet that morning, I am left with the realization that even though I have done considerable work doing what I call “Spiritual Archeology,” I might have blank spots in my life that I would like the option of being able to deal with in the interest of releasing stored emotion/trauma. This is what kundalini naturally does, and my awakening was with kundalini as its major feature. While I have had some ET experiences post awakening, the bulk of my history exists during my adolescence and young adulthood, long before awakening took place. What is also interesting is how my silent periods correspond so well with the silent periods of other abductees. It is one of those things that you might not read about until a decade after the fact, so the information isn’t always out there for you to read before and then incorporated into a false-memory type of narrative, which is often what skeptics try to suggest is at work for abductees. Me, I think it is just as simple an explanation that beings travel and take biological samples and do their best to hide their footprints in the memory of those abducted. Nothing complicated, nothing really cloak and dagger necessarily. Just what it is. A being from another planet can look scary to a race unaccustomed to seeing them. We might do the same. We do the same when we trap bears or other animals for study. We will hit them with a tranquilizing dart and then the animal has no memory at all. A more sophisticated system might be that you use another generation of technology to move a person through objects right up into a craft (which by the way happens in most abduction scenarios).

Swimming around inside of me is another issue which I feel compelled to tell you in the interest of full disclosure. I see the subject of extraterrestrials as one of the biggest most important discoveries that we as humans could make here on on earth. I say this because the implications would be huge for us here in our understanding of how life can emerge on other planets, an idea that until about thirty years ago was thought an impossibility. I am not a skeptic. I am not a skeptic for the very reason that the universe is an awfully large place and instead of thinking that life is a rarity, it may be more likely that the universe may favor life emerging in a myriad of ways.

There are studies that have shown that life can survive in the vacuum of space for certain periods. There are those who suggest that we may have come here from elsewhere, that we ourselves may be a kind of hybrid (stories from our ancient past point to this possibility). I am interested, and I am engaged. I have had a range of experiences that I cannot explain and I am now interested in seeing if I can figure out what the larger story (my experience) may be about.

I have remained silent on this subject, the issue of my ET involvement for many years (and about its nature: was it all dreams or did it have a physical component?). I realize I have remained quiet about it because of how the subject is treated in our culture. I’ll tell you that for myself, it is a desire to know the truth, whatever it might entail, that drives me. If I dreamed all of it, fine, that would be really good to know. If it was something physical, that would be good to know also. I’d like to know what took place. I’d like to know why it took place (even if it is a small reason, a simple reason, “We were taking the semen of all males in your area along with the ova of women”). If they were taking tissue samples, what was the reason for it? An effort at creating a new species, genetic or disease study?

It may be that as humans we are more interested in the why of it than any ET conducting scientific experiments. For ET’s it might seem a non-issue. They might not understand why we would want to know so much about it. When the bear we took for study asks us why we shot them with the tranquilizer dart, we might well shrug and say, “We wanted to study you and find ways to help preserve your habitat so more of you could live.” Or we might say something even more incomprehensible which might lead us to say, “You have something in your genetic material that we wanted to use for study.” The bear, not knowing what genetic material even is would wonder and wonder what any of this even meant. We might realize this and just say, “There is something special in you that we want to study….it is very important to us to do that.” This, in fact, are very similar to conversations some abductees have had with their ET abductors.

I don’t know exactly where I stand with this. It may be that this effort will only reveal that yes, there was some missing time and I was taken a number of times. Maybe it will all just be stubbornly attached to the dream self and that is that. Who knows, really. The thing is, I am going to find out. I have a nagging sense that it may in fact be something much larger than just about having been taken or having had dreams about the ET presence.

I say this because of what took place after a recent healing session with a gifted healer who lives in California named Alison Neville. It left me feeling clearer than I had been before and what happened after the healing made me wonder what on earth was happening to me.What happened in its wake is not something I am prepared to discuss in this post, but I will be covering it in another post (a lot has happened in the last week).

There might be a third possibility that has been lurking in the background which has to do with our spiritual lineage and how we may be connected to a self or consciousness that very much is aware that there are ET’s and that there is a much bigger and vibrant world out beyond our own planet. That, though, is jumping the gun. Wasn’t this supposed to be about a possible way to dig into these dreams to find out what lies in their marrow, their substance?

I haven’t known where to start if I was going to have regression hypnosis to tap into old memories to see what they might contain. I had to ask Whitley Strieber the author of Communion and a number of other books on the subject how best to go about it. He suggested a couple of professional regression hypnotists in California. In a surprise turn of events I will be doing some business there and will have an opportunity to sit down for a session to see if I can begin the process of beginning to understand what has been going on. I think that I need to finally put this question to bed.

If you would like to know more about the book that Strieber has written entitled Communion, there is a review at Goodreads along with links to buy the book if you want to find out more. Communion is a memoir written by the person who had abduction experiences. It is fortunate that a writer with Whitley’s skill set has written in the way he has about the subject. Whitley has followed up that book with several other books on the topic of his abduction experiences as well as those of others similarly affected as well. He speaks with his own voice with his own set of questions and is willing, it seems to consider all kinds of theories in order to probe the phenomenon.

His is one voice, not to take anything away from his courageous work, but to say also that there is one reaction that we as humans will almost always have when faced with an unknown which is that we will most often fear it. Absent any straightforward information, we as humans will invariably spin fear into a narrative in order to fill in the dead or missing spots. “Aliens abducting us for sperm and ova? That is creepy!” And yet, what about how we take sperm and ova from animals all over the world? Do you see what I mean? How creepy is what we are doing, people? No, it isn’t creepy. Instead, it is filled with purpose, our purpose, which may be completely unknown to the animals being taken. In this case, you can perhaps see how easily the humans become the animals and the people taking the animals are the ET’s. In our case as abduction subjects, we don’t know why they took us. They would probably prefer us not to know because there is invariably a certain quality of callousness present in the act of taking someone for their reproductive material, especially when you have never asked that person for it. The truth is, there is a callousness when we do it and there is a callousness when they do it. They might see us like we see bears. We are warlike and we would fight them if they tried to do such a thing as that.

When you leave anyone out of the loop in a situation like this, you naturally create a mystery, a void, and that void often gets filled with nightmares because that tends to be the high water mark for humans. A car passes you super fast: “Oh my goodness they must be fleeing from the law!” In truth, they were rushing to the hospital. A person cuts you off in traffic and you get incensed. The truth was, it was never intentional, they just never saw you….as hard as that is for you to believe. Whenever there is a gap, we will sure as shooting fill that void with…..our weird stuff. It will be our stuff, and it will say more about us than it ever will say about the other, whoever that winds up being. But I also have to say that the stuff is our reaction. It in no way voids the memory that we have about the experience. Yes, we can forget parts, or emphasize other parts, this type of process happens all the time.

Hypnosis does a very good job often to dig into memory in order to find the parts that are missing. This is why it has been possible for people who saw a fleeing car from an accident to see clearly the license plate under hypnosis when they have no conscious memory of it while awake. I am not saying that the experience of the ET’s is somehow made up, I am saying our reactions to the phenomenon may in fact be creating a form of alternative narrative because we simply lack full disclosure from these beings. I don’t think we will get it, not in the way that we would like. I suspect that we wont get it in the way we would like because our purposes and the purposes of the ET’s who are doing this are not the same. I will also readily admit that it is just as likely that the ET’s are like bandits who don’t give a fig about us and see us as stupid vessels to play with as they would like. But I say this in order to show you that I am ready for any outcome (I think!).

I am not being an apologist for ET’s, I just think that there are many ways we can see and react or respond to this same phenomenon. Of course, if it turns out they have me strapped down, I might feel differently, so let’s wait and see what comes up.

And yet, I will say I don’t know. I only know what I think I know and what I think I know has led me to wondering if everything that I have in my memory is the whole story or not. I will admit that sometimes this gets a little crazy feeling, but I will also admit that it does not keep me up at night anymore. After I had the experience in the 90’s with my feet being dirty, scratched, and marked with grass stains, I certainly had a sinking feeling in my heart and in my gut. That was one of those things, like a vector, a line, pointing outward into space without any explanation or seeming purpose. I have resisted filling the void with stories. I have, though, considered that it could be one physical manifestation of an ET presence in my life despite their desire to keep it hidden from me.

Since I began this post a month ago, a lot has taken place between now and then. Much of it I am not ready to put down in word both for brevity’s sake but also because what I have thus far uncovered leads me to thinking I just don’t know what to think. So much is so new and different that I feel like I need to live with it more in order to understand its texture, feel, and its outcomes. What is clear is that when it comes to the ET question, it has woven into itself issues related to our own evolution in consciousness. For me, the ET question has continued to be entangled with issues related to our consciousness. I will also reserve the right to amend this sense later if I turn out to be woefully incorrect.

Right now I have had one regression session and will be having more. Once I am closer to being done I will disclose who I have been using but for now I prefer to keep this under wraps.

I want to point out that I am not writing a book on the subject, I have nothing to sell, I have no agenda beyond my own experience about seeing where I get with this. My only hope in writing about this subject is that the truth might be known and that in so doing it might help others. That is all. I can find better ways to get attention that would be a whole lot more positive than the one that I am writing about. I feel that this might still need to be said for those still captured by the quality of brainwashing that has captured so many of us in the past about the subject of ET’s. I suspect that this post will be the first in a series of exploratory efforts at trying to understand this phenomenon insofar as I am concerned. Stay tuned…And yes, I know that was quite the ramble…

UPDATE 1/2021: I experimented with seeing what would happen if I tried to telepathically communicate with the dark-skinned being. I was able to do so. The conversations were filled with very specific material and I was able to see where it lived. Most surprising was how this being explained that it had a human “counterpart” on earth and explained who that was. I know this person through email correspondence as a result of a dream I had of her. When I told her about something the ET had told me, she said she had memory of the things I had been told by the ET. Curiouser and curiouser…