Sleeping, slumbering, rolling deep within is that part of you you always suspected must be there, your link to the infinite.
Bigger than you, scary when it first comes, its resources are amazing. Like a deep ocean, an aquifer moving silently beneath your awareness, the path to its ineffable reality lies in the innocence of your heart, the desiring of your soul, a few chance encounters with eyes closed or an event that shakes you out of your workaday world. It is like a mystery, and yet there it is, shining new in each moment that you find it. Or did it find you?
Letting go puts you in its grip. Dissolving the rational allows it to step forward. Now this is usually where most “normal” people stand up with raised hand, seeking to interject a “Yes, but!..” But what I am explaining to you is not business as normal. Humans have, for centuries, sought to control by way of the rational, and this, I will point out, is precisely the problem. Anyone, most great teachers in nonduality have pointed, who seeks to go this path will find only trouble and difficulty. Shoals await you in such an effort, and this is where many remain. No, the path forward is letting go of those tendencies that have hung us up since forever. The way to cosmic consciousness, this larger stream or sense of presence, does not lie through the limited rational mind and it’s left brain. Instead, it is the right mind or brain that has the demonstrated capacity for handling the broad sweep that is cosmic mind. Listening, expecting miracles, bids it to come near. Every single teacher, every single experiencer all comes back from this experience and explains that this is not a thing tied to “doer-ship.” Are you getting the picture? Wiping your slate clean is how it can communicate with you, or rather, perhaps even better, letting go of what it is that you think you know is one of the cracks in the wall between the mundane and the ineffable. Let go the small to grasp the big, and yet it is no grasp, no trying. It is the one that can bring you so much.
People struggle saying how hard it is. Only if you let the rational and its playmate, ego, have its way. This teaches you how not to be so you can BE. It is a great windswept silence that returns you to those places long forgot. So simple, this is no place for a linear mind. This is our multidimensional nature. How could anything so linear as the rational left brain ever hope to guide you? You need the nonlinear, holistic part of your mind, which is a mirror for that part of your eternal consciousness to channel and express itself through this body, this self. Learn its secrets which are breath, movement, and quiet intuition. The Sophia within.
When awakening came I saw that there was another part of me, clearly tied to both body and mind, that had come on line. A switch flipped, a new world of a kind, a very new kind. Awakening is not some kind of exotic, it is not tied only to consciousness. The body must also follow, as it is a mirror of consciousness. I observed that my ability to see the bigger picture increased significantly to the point of increased intuition, and psi ability. These are the symptoms of awakening. The Hindu call these siddhis, and they have been extensively reported by those in eastern traditions as well as those who are awakening today more or less spontaneously. We also know that the two hemispheres of the brain are oriented differently. One deals largely with linear processes, handles language, and does not show a masterful ability to tap into feeling. The right brain, however, is not linear, but shows every sign of being able to process many streams of information at once. The left brain abstracts, finding the most important aspects of an idea or object and it highlights those. Very useful for certain things. The right brain, however, is able to see the whole picture without any need to abstract. This is one reason why artists are said to be “right brained” which is that they “draw what they see.” However, the right brain does not appear to have an ability to pinpoint the important aspects of this big view. It is the right brain that has the capacity to comprehend cosmic consciousness. Remember, the right brain is not here judging or prioritizing. It is this capacity that makes the right brain so good at this “new” state of mind because it is less apt to be biased or creating some sort of preconceived bias which would color what the whole mind or person thinks they are seeing.
Perception is not done at the level of the physical senses only, but it is has been shown to be “formed” by the individual as that person “thinks” about what it is that they believe they are experiencing. As a result, you will get all kinds of explanations about what people think awakening is. Luckily, we have a host of pretty specific symptoms to help this hold together pretty well, but it also leads to a lot of speculation based on thinking. This is both good and bad, a double-edged sword. As one remains unbiased in what they think they are experiencing, the more the phenomenon leaks through over time and informs the individual.
If you would like a primer on what it is like to have the left hemisphere shut down for a time, I recommend that you go to YouTube and watch Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk entitled, “A Stroke Of Insight” which describes her experience of how a stroke in her left hemisphere left her, a neuroanatomist, without many of the functions of her left hemisphere. What she describes in her talk is nothing short of a brush with samadhi, and samadhi is the cornerstone experience of awakening (or is eventually once the person has gotten a handle on this new kind of state of being). You can see her talk HERE. So what is the point in this little brain primer?
Let the rational observe. Let it watch from a distance. Don’t let it get any ideas. Take notes but don’t pretend that you know. The more empty you are, the more you can be filled by it. The more empty that you are, the more you can be guided by its great mystery and power. The more you have it figured out, the more it eludes you. Consider the choice you might not usually take but that keeps bubbling up around the edges of your awareness. That is the corner stone that most toss away as unimportant.
You have this, but to gain it, you must let it all go in order to grasp the bigger. It is like embracing the wind. Now let it it take you. This befudles most people and sounds like wishy-washy bullshit. But this time, it is not.
There is a sleeping giant within. So many never find it because the way to it cannot be known by what you know. Instead, feel. Who wants to do this? TO learn how to orient yourself to deep feeling would also mean that the closet within your consciousness that we now call the subconscious would suddenly be opened. That is terrifying to many people because, as Carl Jung has said, people will run from this their whole lives in order to not face up to themselves. But there is more on offer here than a blast from the dark past. It is a kind of existential deal on offer that has the power to free you, to remake you, to save you and resurrect you (to the degree that you avail yourself of its power which I note is greater than your own). Open to mystery, and trust that it will come, a giant ready to merge with you to lift you into a new awareness. Let it do the work. It has all of this. It alone is perfectly suited to take care of anything that feels beyond your ability. Trust. Ask. Wait. Be patient. Believe it could come, and it will.
POST SCRIPT – There are myriad methods and means to aid in awakening. Ultimately what these methods achieve is a bringing together of the opposites within awareness and the mind. No method is some kind of magic, but aims at bringing a person to a certain state of feeling. This is why awakening has been so elusive to so many for so long. The answer is not in patting your head and standing on one foot. It is not only in breathing, it is not only in visualizing a force rising up the spine, but rather tapping into the primal feeling state that actually knows the way. More people have awakened as a direct result of becoming inspired and led along in that state to reach a whole new level. Ultimately, something breaks down within the vigilant left brain and a stream begins, first a trickle and then a blast that can be both bizarre and bewildering while at the same time life-saving. Every culture on the earth has described this experience in one form or another, emphasizing some aspects of it over others, but it is clearly not something that comes about because of a religious viewpoint or belief, but as a result of a hitherto poorly understood mechanism within every single human being. That said, it has been found that a religious framework often serves to help or assist a person through this process, but it is not required. It is also true that some fundamentalist ideas held within numerous religions can lead to demonizing the experience, resulting in misunderstanding this gift.
Waking The Infinite 
Could you describe when kundalini reached your heart. I know that there is lot of work before it happened but i am curious how it was when connection was fully established.
That is something that I took note of, so I know how it proceeded.
Once the full rising event took place and the energy began doing its work, it took two weeks for the energy to reach my heart (again, after the energy had arisen and pierced all chakras along its way). I took note of this, and could feel how it had done some of its first clearing down low in the body and then was rising upwards as it went, cleaning. But it stopped at my heart. You know that “progress bar” or the “Loading” prompt on your computer? It reminded me of that….working, turning, nothing seemingly happening (but I do think it was working, it just takes a while to get through that center—water against stone!)
My rising event was in mid-January of 2007 and the energy paused for some time once it reached just below my heart and it stayed there for a while, unable to go further. How long? By 2008 I had begun to do qi gong movement work and that let loose a FLOOD of releases, so much so that I wound up feeling ill for a while (a friend who was helping me get a better grip on this stuff quipped “Hair of the dog”). I did White Crane Qi Gong which is the same type that the Shaolin monks used who were tasked with protecting the Chinese Emperor. I don’t know anything about Qi Gong beyond what I studied in a class that is held here twice a week (and it only costs $5.00 US per session!). I think that these releases helped to eliminate junk that made working on the heart a little easier.
Then by 2011 I had a series of significant heart openings. These released blocked material, some from past lives (memories filtered up), and this helped to explain why I felt the way I had up until this time. It was something that I had come into this life with from a prior time (although I can’t say this this problem existed IN a prior era, it touched some lives in the past along with my life now—I hope that makes sense).
I found that my heart center was cleared FOUR TIMES. I always thought kundalini would clear it once, right? But no. I read and found that we have five layers or aspects to each major energy center (“koshas” in Sanscrit) which means you can clear a center multiple times before it is clean, clean, clean. According to Indian writings, I still have another clearing there. It already feels wonderful. It beams. I feel this love I just never thought I would feel. It isn’t FOR anyone…it isn’t focused on an object or person. Its more like I opened a flood gate of love inside like a river flows. It is for no purpose other than itself.
I used to feel the intensity of the energy but I didn’t feel it as this profound love, not at first. I knew it was love, but it was love squeezed through a tight heart space, or so it seemed. By 2011 that was a big breakthrough.
Did any of that yammer help clarify anything for you? I wish you luck on your own work. It is so worth it. You never lose it. Just keep at it, allowing and opening yourself up to the energy, never afraid of what it will do to you, for you. It might seem overwhelming at first, but you are chipping away at a mountain and in time you will turn around and find all the stones in you turned to dust. I am happy to pray for you if you wish.
Thank you for your explanation. I try to understand this process because all the time there is something happening on mental and physical level. I even stoped to talk about symptoms because most of people and family don’t get it. Since October i have lot of work in solar plexus. Especially nerval system. Maybe you remember previous conversations I couldn’t walk. Eat properly. Pain was horrible it was like blow of massive pressure through nerves reaching lower ribs. I ask you this question because i am not sure if this kind of expansion “opening” of solar plexus or energy try to pierce knot and establish connection with heart. I agree that K clear whole chakras and is not step by step proces from the lowest to highest chakras, because i had periods with opening heart, crown etc but it was temporary so i reckon it is kind of “process of opening and clearing junks then close and dig out another layer of bagage”
One thing that my qi gong teacher told a student while I listened in, was that we should pay attention to any sense of resistance in our bodies, even if it feels physical. By paying attention, feeling it but not resisting it, you can begin to put a different feeling into that space. This can over time allow the energy to work better.
If it is a big block, this all takes time depending on how stubborn it is. So. By using meditation, attention, but imagining the area opening however feels most natural to you, and breath work, you can put yourself in the place that will make this go easier. The breath work is slow deep breaths in and slow out. It is very similar to how people breath when sleeping. This tells the body to relax. It also can move your brainwave activity out of beta (full wakefulness) into the brain wave activity that allows us to tap into the subconscious, which I observe is where we tap into the blocked energy that we shove into it (and makes it largely innacessible to us).
That said, awakening does seem to me to bring sleeping states into the waking state. I know I can go into theta states while awake, which is where we usually experience peak states…and this also is where kundalini seems to work, which is at the root level of our being where these blocks are also rooted. But. Our rational waking minds often want to keep its grip on “reality” even when we know that isn’t the whole truth…but we do this habitually, which is why, I think, this type of work can be so difficult for us…even when awakened.
I know it may feel counterintuitive, but getting used to surrendering our will to the will of the higher self, this “giant” I mention in the post, can make this process easier. This takes practice, a fundamental act of putting it into someone else’s hands. The Christian axiom, “let go and let God” describes this state. It means that the rational mind us not as engaged so it isn’t trying to run this end of things.
Have you had experiences with this part of yourself, this expansive state of awareness that seems to be able to accomplish remarkable things for you? And did it happen automatically, with great ease…leaving you to wonder how you managed it? My experience shows me that it works best when I let go of expectation of an outcome as well as surrendering my will and desire to control an outcome. I observe only. I do the things just described to place me in its range and I make the intention to let it in to do its work. For me, it is putting my faith in it fully. I rely on the universe and I breathe, I meditate, I place my attention on the place that seems knotted up and I just ask that it be opened, I tell myself whatever it is, I don’t need it anymore. I might even be addicted to the thinking that put it there in the first place, but I feel into how I am ready for a miracle. I try to imagine being relieved of it and how that muggt feel to me. I imagine sitting in an ocean tidal pool as the salt water flows in and flows out, slowly washing away whatever is there.
There is also movement. I have mentioned TRE before, which is an extremely fast and effective method for releasing stuck energy, especially in the lower torso. You can see how this is done by checking out videos on youtube. It works by fatiguing the legs so they will shake. This shaking triggers an instinctive release of pent up emotional energy. Humans are the only mammals that have lost this instinct, but we can trigger it through the TRE (trauma release exercise). It may take time to get used to it, and it may not be comfortable, but it is very effective. Allowing yourself to acknowledge the emotional energy is about all you need to do besides doing the exercise. Once you do that, the emotion is gone and how it makes you feel knotted up. It may take a number of attempts, and it may be that you have stores a cluster of things there, so be patient and chip away, because with each chip, the material is gone for good.
Try not to let how your family responds to your unusual condition get to you. Just take care of you, and let them be. Sometimes not talking about it to them makes it easier in many ways. I had a spouse who was dismissive of what I was going through and I learned to keep quiet because it was so outside her experience there was no way I vould expect her to understand. We want those we love to understand us, but this is a quantum leap you have made. We here DO understand, though. It is an exciting new road, an adventure to a new way if being…a very natural one.
I hope that yammer helps. I wish you the very best of luck!
Thx again, i think i will focus on TRE method. I am not meditating since crow chakra blown open. Since that time i feel like being observer of my life and world. I have noticed that in my case kundalini seems to be more violent. It doesn’t mean it want to hurt me but every major step affect mental or physical part of my life and i am not able to continue mundane life for weeks or months, then is period of major work. Funny thing is its always reach the maximum i can handle then it gives a brake. Life coincidences in this periods seems to “take care of me” when i am on retreat. In my experience it looked like K from time to time accelerate and “inflate” whole energetic bodies. It is like stretching rubber to the maximum prepearing to reach this point in future from the time it happened. For example i felt like inflated baloon, sense of me gone to give space for observer. Smell taste sight was enormously sensitive even i felt conversations,food as energy. From that time it gradually getting close to this state but i reckon in previous circumstances i wouldn’t be able to live normal life because change was to big to cope it. ( I would just sit and observe nature for months LOL ). For now i need to find out how to deal with nerval changes, there is so many things happening that i would talk about it for hours. If you remember your experience of nerval transformation or you have any advice i will be glad to listen. And im glad you share with us your knowledge.thank you
It sounds like its really working for you! I’d say remain patient, it will get to it as it does.
How kundalini impacts us is so similar but it can also be different, too. I can’t say I have had the nerve effects that you mention, but I totally relate to after a release the energy giving me a break (usually only one day) as well as being in that state of empty quiet mind just wanting to observe and watch all of nature. It gives me such peace and bliss. It was the only thing that gave me relief when the energy was strong in the beginning. All that was left in me, good and bad would be floating in me. Still, relative peace. It gets more and more peaceful. I never thought it would, everyone said it does….and it did. That, too, can be an adjustment because it was so turbulent for so long (24/7).
Kundalini can push you to your furthest edge. I sometimes felt like I was fkopping around in my head while it had a hold of me as if to say, “Don’t be such a big baby!” In time I realized, oh yes, I was being a bit dramatic. It was an adjustment, too. Being infinite, we have so much more capacity than we realize. Adjustments.
I am happy to share anything that might help you. I was helped at one stage and I am forever grateful for that insight. I hope it helps. You are very welcome.
Its good to listen about K and symptoms from relevant people like you. There is so much Mad or unaware people talking about K especially on YT . Most of them repeat general informations and only positive of course. Not realising what can happened when unprepared body and mind force K to work. I will let you know about progress maybe it will be helpful for people having same symptoms, and i am waiting for next article from you 🙂 thx a lot