I was a seeker my whole life. It was fueled by a deep sense that there was much more to existence than met the eye. As a child I  had some unusual experiences that showed me that there is an inner realm which is where we all live and emerge from that was largely ignored by the masses back in the day. 

Even as I say this, as I was experiencing out of body states at the tender age of three and four, the world of the 1960’s was itself asking some big questions. People were joining the “counterculture” and there was an accelerated effort of “East meets West” with people beginning to discover meditation and yoga.Stanislav Groff was using LSD for researching what mind-shifting substances could do for healing (funded by a grant!), Timothy Leary was taking LSD and jumping into an isolation tank. McKenna was traveling to the jungles of the Yucatan and finding ayahuasca. Richard Alpert took mushrooms and saw himself dissolve, thus setting him on a journey of awakening in India where he became Ram Dass.  This was a period of sudden openness and experimentation, perhaps even a desperate effort seen as playful to crack the wall of perception because wasn’t there more? For the West, we seemed to be trying to crack the cosmic egg with drugs. It worked, but the question for me has been, is it necessary? 

Forty years after my birth and after thirty years or more as an active seeker, I stumbled upon the mechanisms tied to light body activation. I didn’t follow a method, I simply did something that initiated a fuller flow. In that flow, my higher self, my godself, was there directing me in perfect timing. I didnt know where it was leading. I was always playing catch up, I was never told why I had to do what I was being instructed to do. After I had achieved my “goal,” (the “more”) I have found out a few things that I would like to share. 

I have been trained to look, see, and observe as an artist, and because I have always believed the mystical ought to be examined objectively and should be able to be examined scientifically just as anything else is, I have been keen to gather my data. I have been sharing observations and paying attention to repeatability as well as phenomena that is common to us all in studies of consciousness. My hope has been to help dissolve the bias science has in denying consciousness as valid phenomena worthy of study. I think I am a decent reporter. I am here to tell you what I have seen. Take it or leave it.

The drive to know and to be more is a very human thing. It is laudable, good, and is the very characteristic that will help each of us to evolve. This does not guarantee you a lovely experience, however. Awakening is powerful business and the stakes are high in such rarefied atmospheres as this.  As Westerners we bring a lot of junk into awakening because our traditions have not placed value or awareness on preparing. I think we have the expectation that “it” should be a walk in the park. We find God, and it’s perfect.

You bring all of your unexamined junk with you into awakening. It will get amplified in the process. This is the promise awakening makes for all of us (that bring the unexamined into awakening). It is a blessing and it can be a curse. This is how it is when you have not prepared sufficiently before awakening comes. This is not what most who are awakening today will tell you about who are awaking spontaneously. This is because they grew up in a system that knew “0” about awakening nor the importance of preparation. And just so you know, I was in many ways in that camp. I had no teacher or guru. Some traditions say you can’t even awaken without a guru: sorry, but yes you can!

You can awaken so easily, though. It takes seconds. I could give you two techniques that if used would begin to stir the giant within you. But I won’t because it can lead to psychotic episodes when unprepared. I once felt that as many should awaken as possible, we will sort out the challenges that come along later. I no longer hold that view. This is not a race, it is an important step in the process of our evolution. We don’t need a generation of freaked out paranoid sczitzophrenics running around! 

This also leads bystanders to wonder if awakening is really all that it’s cracked up to be….maybe with the suggestion that it’s not a holy thing. And that’s just the problem. It is a REAL thing, and as a result, it is powerful. It isn’t black or white; where you are in your karmic journey will have a big say in the quality of your experience.

Peaceful awakenings always occur when the right preparations are made. This preparation  includes somatic work to release emotional energy that the mind has not fully processed. Whatever you do not fully process (make peace with through feeling it fully) will ALWAYS result in stored emotional energy. Since we always embrace positive energy (you never run from the good stuff, do you?)  you rarely find positive energy stored in the body. Positive energy, which is really just how you are choosing to color your own pure life force, is part of an aligned flow that is in harmony with a productive mindset. 

Negatively tainted energy, now stored and shoved down into the subconscious, is the material that awakening will dredge up. Think of it as an unrecognized inventory of emotion that when dredged up is as fresh and vibrant as the day it was silently and unwittingly packed away….and it will all come rising to the surface when awakening comes. At this point, you will require heroic stability just to deal with it all.
I speak from experience. I also pay attention to the countless people whose experiences I have read both in word and on the library of light.Most every person who struggles in awakening is doing so because of suppressed emotional energy that is amplified by awakening. For some, it can be a very real stumbling block. It can harden awakening, hanging people up for years in a merry go round of denial or just wanting to ignore it because it’s all just too much. This was precisely what got them here in the first place. Woops!

The answer to all of this is careful preparation. Awakening is not for the elect. It is a natural state that every person can attain. Rushing in,  is ill advised, though. Humanity is now sitting on a hair trigger for awakening. Knowing this, knowing that this cosmic traveler is so close should give you pause. Unpack your bag; the less luggage you have on your flight the better.
The Simplest Way To Start

Begin by becoming familiar with your energy body. The energy body is what gets activated when the major chakras are pierced when kundalini rises. It opens awareness and consciousness to itself, to its origin. Understanding it is a vital first step.

 You can do this through careful observation in meditation. Go deep, breath, relax, and find that place where your awareness feels as though it is being buffeted by the soft breeze that is your energy. Breath work helps to move chi or prana in its sytem, so long deep breaths are like energetic lubricant. 

You might feel areas of the energy body activate as you breath deep and quiet your mind and create a sense of movement, spinning, or vibration. Once here, observe how your energy body feels and how your whole body, your light body, is a dynamic system where one center in your belly, say, can lead to other centers activating. 

As you do this, be aware of any feeling of tightness or tension. This will always show you where stored emotional energy lies. Instead of getting into feeling the tension, supplant that feeling with the opposite in your mind. Imagine images that support feelings of flow such as gently flowing rivers or streams. Your light body is a system of conscious energy and it is moved and changed not by physical things but by how you think, feel, and react. You can feel a release often as a feeling of a thick substance flowing up your body, as something pulling away, of a tightness suddenly letting go completely never to return. It is followed by flow. Before awakening, this flow may not be felt as bliss, but it also comes with less phenomena that could distract you. This can keep you on track. Once awakening comes, you will be so sensitive, very small things become big things. It’s possible to lose a degree of perspective during such experiences (I have done it, and I see it often in others).

The greatest teacher for me is observation. When I feel myself shutting down or feeling tight, what am I thinking about? Often we aren’t aware that we are even thinking about something, especially when its something in the subconscious. 


The journey of awakening is in making the subconscious conscious. Doing this requires a powerful or determined sense of discipline in order to stick with it. Once awakening comes, you will be locked in on your ride and I ask; do you want it to be a roller coaster ride of intense ups and downs, or would you like a thrilling and exhilarating experience? What you do now will help determine that.

There are yoga’s that from my perspective are more focused on helping to tone and clarify the energetic channels called nadi in the Indian tradition that are where blocked emotion is stored. 

Kundalini yoga, pranayama yoga, and Hatha yoga are all very good methods for preparing for the rise of kundalini. These assist in clearing trauma that has been stored.

Body work such as deep tissue massage with a practitioner who knows ways to aid in the release of these blocks can help. Look for someone who shows clear intuitive traits and who can surprise you by knowing things about your condition even you did not know, but is able to help release. 

There are many methods within body work. Cranial Sacral is remarkable for how it can help you tap into your deep and distant emotional history but is not a deep tissue method. Acupuncture can help with some blocks, Reiki can be very helpful as well as Chi Gung. Some methods are faster than others, some will fit you better than others. Every individual is different, and a wise body worker can often help suggest additional therapies for emotional release work. An awake person can sense the blocks in you right away. Some sensitives who read energy can see it manifest in the aura, for example.
There is a powerful method that uses a latent tendency in humans to be able to release this material through shaking (often by shaking the gut and lower torso by fatiguing muscle groups in the region—we are unsure why it works but it’s bringing relief to thousands who suffer from PTSD).

Currently there is another method used to release stored emotion and it is Ayahuasca. At first I thought this method was dangerous, sensing it’s violent energy. However, when I went into it further and observed, I saw that it was doing just what these other methods were doing, except very quickly and through DMT. 

I had already identified DMT as a compound that I was experiencing in small concentrations during kundalini awakening. When I saw mandalas in my mind spreading out above my crown chakra into a vast bliss field, the only compound I knew that could do this natively in the body was DMT. So? Wasn’t DMT taken in the Ayahuasca ceremonies, the same compound that was unwinding me and opening me to the great cosmic lovers in a subtle field of blissful consciousness? For as much as I wanted to say “do it naturally” I realized that not everyone has experienced what I have. Not everyone is the same. Some people need this medicine just like I need to lay on Violet’s table as she works her Kahuna magic on my meridians, sending me deep into trance where I travel back to the origins of the many wounds that make up my samscara, or soul scar. And it’s all okay. Thing is, Ayahuasca does a lot very fast. In a way, though, you may still experience facing your own wretchedness just as I did in my dark night that lasted seven months. With aya, you do it in several nights if you are blessed to meet it and have it work hard on you, it’s clever language working its magic and freeing up so much through purging.

The more you make peace with now, the smoother your process will be later when awakening comes. This is an investment that you never lose. What you do now will make your life more peaceful regardless of whether you are awake or not. It will also accrue to your next life since you are setting the stage for all of the conditions of that life right now. If you don’t like something, you can change it and that change will have significant impacts on your life today and hundreds of years from now.

This work is an act of self love. If you have this love, when the cosmic comes knocking, you will be able to answer that advanced version of you with wonder, awe, and while anchoring love within and without.

Releasing this emotional material is directly tied to your karma
We think karma is action. Yes, if it is your inner action, because it is the inner you take with you always. Negative karma is a fundamental misalignment with the divine…and this divinity is in you. It is powerful and it is unmovable. You, however, as a self, have freewill. You can, and have (many many times) not heeded that immovable compass point. You were contrary. You did it anyway, and you sinned against the divine in you. The more you align to that immovable orientation, the more relaxed and at peace you will be. You don’t even need to understand the divine, you need only to allow yourself to feel it. The deeper you let go and allow yourself to feel, the deeper the bliss will flow. It will be like a standing wave of orgasmic energy that transforms and continues to heal as you simply stand in its blissful presence. Here, you do not need to know. Just be in that alignment. It is enough. You let the little you drop, that ego we are so quick to demonize. It lets you know who the little you is. Problem is, it does not let you know who your cosmic ego, your higher vibrational awareness of you as a soul is. Drop it, and you will feel it there, quiet and unassuming, but expertly ready for some great adventures.

This action is action that has moved you out of divine alignment. No amount of yoga postures or changing your life on the outside will fix any of it. Changing how you react or respond to someone you are karmically entangled with is window dressing unless you get radically honest and release what upsets you about it at its source. Karmic release is itself a deeply humble and grace-filled act of forgiveness. The person you forgive is not your ex or your boss: it is you. When you get to the core of a karmic thread, the place where it ends in not in the other, it is in you. Release it by forgiving yourself for engaging in something that kept you from your highest, and it’s gone. Forever. And events will actually change based on what the karmic release was all about. 

When I released karma having to do with a self respect issue, a boss of mine changed right along with it. How was that possible? Was I imagining it? Another person who gave me an offer on my house that was a third of its true value sent a new offer six months later but a day after this last release that was much closer to the fair price. This was not my imagination, but others will cite coincidence. This, however, is how these things go every time. People pick up on these deficiencies and act in harmony with them. It is part of that subtle field I’m talking about. 

Karmic release has to be done right. You don’t get it by feeding the poor; you get it when you realize you were doing it just to get “points” and the universe arranged it so you could see the old man coming in through the back of the facility taking the donations, ashamed and hoping no one would see him, but desperate for food as his legs trembled from his shame. Anger rippled through him because he was so tired of feeling this way, and it made him edgy, hard to be around. You see that and it hits you; it wasn’t about you, sunshine-good karma comes from an honest heart and you find that place in you, that same shame as in that poor man and you realize it has imprisoned you, this shame of yours. And you wind up feeling so foolish but it just hits you deeper until you have tears streaming down your cheeks. The shame is yours. His shame is his. You aren’t righting any wrongs here unless you free yourself. And poof, there it goes. You say how sorry you were that you felt that shame for so long. Good that you fed the poor, yes, but unless you let it change you and increase your capacity for love, well, you were just being an empty suit. 

You were just replacing old drapes with new and as you do, something reminds you that you are just a bullshitter and you are just making it worse. The new drapes, they were just another denial of the truth; your house, your inner self, is not so great as you made it out to be. Just admit it. Stop playing games. The only person it matters to is you. 

So I ask; are you ready to face your deafening blizzard of bullshit in one gigantic thunderclap that leaves you reeling with its consequences for years, or does it sound more reasonable to whittle away at it for a while such that when the flood comes, it doesn’t knock you down? 

This is the path of radical self honesty. You have to own up to all of your bullshit in order to be free. You’d be amazed how hard we all hang on to our bullshit. No, really!

If you are ready, nothing will stop you. It will consume your entire life. It will fill every corner of it as it seeks to root out the dark tangles you forgot were there. It will be relentless. There will be a fiery passionate love that is the ancestor to all loves. It will fill you with fear, your own self-made fear, and then it will fill you with peace. The fear will only be because it comes like a mystery and feels at first like another. It brings you to the divine, but no harps and angelic choirs in the clouds here,  but voices filled with passion and desire that is not entirely of this world but is married and born through all of them. This is part of what Source is…and it is entirely without pretense or bullshit. It is the real. This ain’t a cake walk, but then again, you don’t strike me as the cake-walking type.
Get ready because the kingdom comes to each of us when we allow ourselves to ripen.

All my hopes…

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