You

 

I know the moment that you came because of the choice I made to feel differently. I let go a gripping guilt that I hadn’t done enough, and gave up feeling daily frustration with a universe that would send me signs and signals with no real way to unravel them. When I let it go, it came immediately.

You were like some vast engine of divine design, a technology from another world; some object had set itself down in the middle of my  essence and got to work. 
You were a visitor then, a mysterious presence I was just vaguely aware of.

No. Your presence was not vague. Not at all. I knew something was different. This “different” is with me now ten years after its inception. But like a flower, it has unfolded, bloomed, even as my own capacity to understand or grasp some of its wonders has increased. 
You worked first here, then there, making it all appear accidental that I happened upon one meditation or focus only to find the next thing to do in perfect timing. It was not accidental, but handled carefully so that, like a rug or flower, it might unroll fully or bloom in me.
The flower continues to open. How far will it continue? Still more yet, you say.  

In truth, I just didn’t know that this was a thing. It seemed as though I had momentarily stepped into a kind of twilight zone. My awakening came gradually, not like a blast. There were symptoms here and then there. I described you like a renovating force that would one day be working on the roof, another day on the plumbing. It was at the edges of my awareness. I had not had a big picture view of what you were up to. Not right away. You sent me the most bizarre happenings, so bizarre that I dared not tell anyone about them for fear they would cart me off. And when I did try to explain what you were doing, they did not, could not, understand. It is like trying to understand how one person loves another. It is a mystery and is not spoken through words (even though our poets try endlessly) and is best to experience you directly.

With you, I awakened gently, in beautiful bursts of realization. Only later did you show, or reveal, the shadow of my uncertainties and fears.

 You whispered three days later after I let go, that I belonged. I was family to everything. Smiling, you took my hand and bid me travel to see the source of my relations as I stood looking gape-mouthed at the twins who enter this world and create matter, even events, as all energy rode on the backs of these blissful and utterly joyful relations our world has yet to discover. 
Within the cloud of the atom, these quasi particles are a speck across their surface, the most inconsequential thing, and yet, are the key to understanding ourselves and how our world is made.

How could I have been so blind to this joy you showed me that exists at the micro nano scale, whose productions occur faster than our own thoughts are conceived? Here a vast world of grace-filled choreography takes place just to sustain our reality for mere microseconds as trillions of them flow into and out of our reality for every micro-inch of space.

You gave to me what was my own, accelerating and magnifying all of it so that I might see. Over and over, the flower of the world opens as I open, as I throw off what does not suit my essence and I rewind the error I stepped into in order to lovingly heal it and consume and transmute it from ignorance into knowing.

You were not here to save me from myself, you were here to help me know myself, my history down through time, to see where I went wrong, not honoring that perfect pitch of vibration that saves. But I chose slavery of all sorts over and over; why? That I might love freedom more and never again feel the chains of being anything less than in my highest. Here, the shadow mirrors the light. But what happens when shadow is all consumed into light?

You told me a great change was coming. This was the cleansing you whispered to me lifetimes ago in the mountains as I cried for a vision and bid the thunder being within to come. This turning can no longer be understood using old understanding, for the need for balancing shadow with light is now a quaint ism that served a purpose, a kind of divine design, but is now no longer relevant. The great Circle, as you spoke so boldly, has come full turn. A new Aeon is upon us.  And thus, the Lord’s and Ladies of its shadow are being redeemed so that they too might step into Light as well, moving from troublesome to trouble free. This light has always dissolved creations not in their fullest expression so they might reach it, and in so doing,  find their bondage was only a creation.

But it seems shadow grows deep here now, which is curious to me, as though shadow, knowing it’s days are numbered, clamors for an even greater grip of control. I worry about the gross abuses this is bringing with a regime who has technology that has been kept secret from the People of this planet, that has the power to chain minds and bodies. But you stood back and said it must first rear its head, to move just enough into the light that we might seize it and show ourselves what glorious madness our technological reach has exceeded our grasp, and the costs that are involved. It seems we must brush up against losing ourselves and our delicate cradle of life before we take action. It is ever thus you said, quoting, of all people, a cartoonist….but….(you added) it’s apt and true nonetheless.

You have said that in each life the self must see before it fully knows in order to transmute the shadow into light, and that as a species we will have to do the same but on a world wide scale.I wonder if we can do it just as you say the holy ghost has always worked in secret bringing the truth to light, using those who would deceive to wind up as the agents of global change. It is their pride that blinds them so they reveal themselves, for they think what they do is great and will not be able to resist showing their error. I sure hope it is so. 

You have explained that the Goddess does not move against wrong with a clenched fist, but an open hand, which is the womb that transmutes and shows truth as it is. It has always been this way;her womb was not made to perpetuate error, but the seed must be given in truth for truth to be revealed. The open hand shows the fruit of error as a tree bears nothing that it itself is not.

You have shown me so much of myself and how I am Wed to the All. So simple; who needs teachers who speak and instruct from ancient scrolls that repeat the dim realizations of past error when the light within knows all that needs be known?

Every flower that opens, I feel opening in me as the true essence of Gaia and the Feminine returns to grasp her power and emerges here again. She is in each of us, an orgasmic rippling tsunami of a wave who bears no shame but liberation from long dead concerns and fears. From her we can each be healed if we just give ourselves over to her and let her take us for as long as is necessary.  The path will be through honesty for nothing hides in the light which is coming.

So you have come, through the whispers of others, some reaching part way to you, and others more deeply. Some, so inspired, wished to call your voice God, and made laws around your gentle unbending presence. This always lacked something because she was a he, an angry father God bereft of his truer nature as the two that makes the third, the great trine that reveals the nature of the cosmos was never fully revealed. You have come more as wind, bidding me to fly than to seek to only build upon firm stone. It is you who must scatter the stones that the error might be seen. Bear stone and wind together that you might inherit heaven.

You came gently, inconsequential at first, a mere whisper on the wind; it is here. You set up shop and made no deals or compromises. You brought torrents and resources perfectly timed to make the next step possible. The light shot through like lightening in the night, illuminating and striking to the center of things. Unbending, you have shown me the light I came to know in myself and how it was living everywhere in the world. No more than this do you need, upon no more than this must you depend you said  as I struggled with the weight of my past. You created this in the same way that you will now create your freedom. 

Just when I turned to look at you squarely I found you were not there, had never been there, and had always been what I was, a clever production to get me to trust in myself who always had the truth of the light all along. You would not have believed me had it been any different…so each self encounters itself as this until the chains fall away, whatever they might be, to reveal that we were always one.

So I have become a lover from your touch, a divine parentage from which I learn so much.  As I feel deeply within what you are, I sense now that you too had this once, that an even more “ancient” presence set up shop within in much the same way as you have done with me, as you were shown the way forward in yourself in your own way. Within my center you smile saying “it has ever been thus” as you wink and wonder what such a world of knowing will grant and afford us.

To you, my bearers of Light…

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